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FIRST PEEK

October 28, 2013

fit into a Halloween-themed paper but as you can already tell from the headline above, I’m not afraid to take strong stances on even the least talked about issues.

Anyway, it is my firm belief that everyone should have the right to make their own decision on whether they are subject to a trick or must give away a treat at Halloween. And, unlike the rest of the world I’m not afraid to talk about it, I’m 100 per cent prochoice and proud of it.

Although in my current position as the Humour section editor for this newspaper, I try to keep my personal politics and radical social views out of my writing, once a semester I’m called upon to break my silence and contribute a shocking and provocative piece to the Opinions section.

Last semester I no doubt caused a firestorm of controversy with my Editor’s Voice in which I bravely declared my belief that Barack Obama has the credentials to go down in history as one of the presidents of the United States. I can only assume that the personal feelings I’m about to reveal will once again put me in the crosshairs of the entire student body.

This time however, the scope of my bitingly critical, sardonic viewpoint has been limited to

For me, there’s no middle ground to this question, it’s up to the individual, plain and simple. It’s their candy, their house, their body, and therefore their choice. Just because you might think that giving out candy is the only socially-acceptable response to the “trick-or-treat” dilemma, don’t push it on me.

Some people just can’t afford to give their candy to kids, others just would rather see the kids

matter why, it’s nobody’s business but the person answering their door.

No one should be able to tell you that you can’t choose trick if you want to, and no one is trying to. Certainly the government shouldn’t be telling people that they can’t request a trick from children instead of giving them a treat, and as far as I’m aware they never have.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, people should be allowed to choose between tricks or treats, and they are. However, even though this issue is currently not a problem for anyone, I think the right to choose between candy or prank on October 31 should be a fundamental liberty, mostly because I have no idea what a fundamental liberty is.

So, this Halloween remember that it’s your choice whether or not you are tricked by trick-ortreaters or you treat them. This isn’t a complicated issue, like abortion, you choose what’s best for you, it’s that simple.

You know what else is a choice? Which section of this paper you read. So stop wasting your time being angered by flimsy, incoherent arguments like this and get to the Humour section already! If you go

perform mischief on their house for some reason . . . it shouldn’t

straight there you’ll finish this paper in no time!

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NEWS

Last week, The Peak reported SFSS environmental representative Monique Ataei’s allegations of a physical altercation with member services officer Moe Kopahi on Oct. 11 (“SFSS internal conflict follows alleged physical altercation”).

Ataei claims that Kopahi inadvertently struck her with a cell phone during a disagreement in the SFSS board office.

Ataei then called for Kopahi’s resignation, and also requested that she be allowed to resign her position after receiving her full stipend for the year.

Since the event, two former board members have come forward with corroborating accounts of how the SFSS can be a “hostile work environment.”

Meaghan Wilson, former external relations officer, wrote in an email statement to The Peak that she had been verbally threatened by current SFSS president Humza Khan after he accused her of spreading rumours about him. Wilson claims that Khan came into her office, closed the door behind him, and accused her of creating gossip about him.

“I remember that it got to a point where I asked him if he was threatening me, and he responded, ‘yes,’” stated Wilson; “After I had received confirmation, I remember sitting and just staring at my desk as he continued talking. I was intimidated.”

She continued, “He then got up and left. As he reached the door, he turned back, smiled, and said ‘consider this a threat.’ He then shut the door to my office.

I sat at my desk for 10 minutes.”

Khan has declined to comment on any internal conflicts within the SFSS, past or present.

Wilson said that she then called for a closed-door meeting to address this incident, but she received “zero support” from other board members. She claims that she sought legal counsel soon after, but did not press charges because she felt it

October 28, 2013

would not have lasting change within the SFSS. The SFSS does not have a formal anti-harassment policy or an internal conflict resolution policy, although communications student Joseph Leivdal put forward a petition signed by 516 students at the AGM last Wednesday Oct. 23, in support of a motion to implement such a policy. Because the AGM did not reach the quorum of 250 voting members, Leivdal was unable to amend the agenda to include the motion.

Former communication, arts, and technology faculty representative, Jenni Rempel, has also come forward with allegations of workplace harassment, and in Nov. 2011

news editor email / phone

proposed a motion to allow teleconference and Skype attendance at meetings, because she “did not feel safe physically attending the meetings.”

She claims to have been bullied in person and over email by other board members, particularly executives, but was not able to resolve this internally.

“My attempt to stop the behaviour through policy and board protocol was called a waste of time by other board members,” Rempel said.

“Gossip and unprofessional communication occurred frequently,” she said. When this happened during meetings, it was not reflected in the minutes. “I was introduced to this culture within moments of receiving my first e-mail as a board member through a series of personal attacks [on another member],” she continued.

Last Wednesday morning, the SFSS called for a board meeting to publicly address the incident of Oct. 11, which ended in an agreement to hire an external mediator to investigate what transpired. Ataei insisted

Alison Roach associate news editor news@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

that she would not have “gone public” with the situation had it be handled in a timely and professional manner by other executive board members, as this was not the first time she had encountered inaction from her colleagues.

Ataei told The Peak that her personal drawer had been broken into in the past, and there was no subsequent formal acknowledgement or investigation. She also reported having difficulty getting an explanation for why one month of her stipend had been withheld.

While she agrees that member services officer Moe Kopahi did not deliberately hit her with his phone, he behaved

Leah Bjornson

aggressively after by throwing his phone against the wall and was “swearing and cursing.” Further alarming Ataei was the fact that she received a message from Khan about the incident three days later, although she claims that an eyewitness had texted Khan about the incident immediately after.

At last week’s board meeting, internal relations officer Kevin Zhang read a statement that included an apology for not following up with Ataei earlier after the incident. He continued: “I’m sorry that despite trying my best, I couldn’t make you feel empowered to work here.” According to Ataei, the initial text message had accused her of lying and asked her to “remain faithful to your morales[sic] and integrity.”

The Peak was unable to reach Zhang for comment.

The board has decided to bring in an external mediator to investigate the incident between Ataei and Kopahi, and stated that they wished to resolve the current situation before making any other comments on SFSSrelated conflicts.

NEWS

– 2018/19, which was prepared

by SFU Facilities Development.

The report suggests improvements must be made to address structural deficiencies, inadequate snow load capacity and envelope failures, as “the glass panels are old and are coming loose from their frames more frequently” and “the columns and steel frame do not meet current seismic code requirements.”

Similar improvements are required in 39 per cent of SFU Burnaby buildings, which are in “poor condition” according to the Facilities Condition Index. The total estimated deferred maintenance and capital renewal cost for poor condition buildings is approximately $532,000,000 — $62,000,000 higher than it was one year ago.

Perhaps the most dramatic examples of deferred maintenance presented during the tour were in the Shrum Science Buildings — specifically, in biology and physics. The Five Year Capital Plan stated that these buildings are “at the end of their functional life [and have] significant deficiencies with respect to current seismic and building code requirements.”

The cost for repairs is estimated at $75 million for biology, and $50 million for physics.

Jen Chang, manager, Academic and Administrative Services, identified a particularly disturbing trend in the Shrum buildings to the group.

“There is a rodent problem . . . We’ve seen blood trails going from the traps into the wall, and then you don’t know where it went.”

“It used to be that at night you would see a couple rats running around, but now during the day you see [them].”

“Seeing that young mother with a newborn baby in family housing building where the

air was so obviously affected by mould was awful,” said Eby after the tour. “The Minister of

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Advanced Education can’t hope to maintain any shred of credibility if he refuses to take this tour.”

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“I call this part of the tour ‘Shrum: the good, the bad, and the ugly,’” laughed Julia Lane, coordinating and external relations officer for the GSS, as she led the deferred maintenance (DM) tour group into one of Burnaby campus’ most dilapidated buildings last Monday, Oct. 21.

The GSS has been concerned with aging infrastructure and facilities at the Burnaby campus over the past two years — a concern that earned media attention with its “I [heart] SFU” campaign on Tumblr. The blog encouraged students to post pictures of the decay, one of which ultimately made the cover of The Vancouver Sun. The GSS sent out DM packages inviting politicians to participate in a tour of the campus to see and experience the impacts of deferred maintenance first hand.

David Eby, MLA for the Vancouver-Point Grey riding, and newly appointed critic for advanced education, was the first politician to take the GSS up on their offer.

Joining Eby on the tour were Jane Shin, MLA for the Burnaby-Lougheed riding, Chardaye Bueckert, external relations officer for the SFSS, and Christina Batstone, GSS advocate.

The tour group was first greeted by Adrian Smith, manager of Residence and Housing, who took the group to see a decommissioned suite in the Louis Riel Building. The one-bedroom family suite was decommissioned after a large window was broken in the bedroom and subsequent water damage destroyed much of the flooring. The university has refrained from repairing the suite, as one-bedroom units are not in high demand.

The group then travelled from residence to the chemistry buildings, passing by the athletic complex, the library, and Convo Mall.

Explained Lane, “One of the interesting things to note about the athletics complex is that our pool . . . it leaks, significantly.”

“The pool leaks?” exclaimed Eby. “Yep,” responded Lane.

Convocation Mall is also in need of a refit, according to the Five Year Capital Plan 2014/15

October 28, 2013

6 12 |

HAUNTED HOUSES After navigating through labs of stalactites and mould and passing by some green slime, the tour reached its end. Although herself caked in dust from the tour, for Lane, it was all worth it.

“We feel that seeing the impacts of DM helps politicians to know why students are raising this concern and that this actually does impact our daily lives at SFU,” said Lane. “Our immediate next step will be to [once again] invite the Minister of Advanced Ed to take part in a tour.”

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6 NEWS

The Children of the Street Society is warning against the growing trend of young girls dressing in “sexy” Halloween outfits, saying the practice is inappropriate and harmful.

“Sexualizing a child or youth is inappropriate. And Halloween shouldn’t be an excuse to be able to sexualize children or youth further,” said Diane Sowden, executive director of the Children of the Street Society, according to The Province.

The Children of the Street Society advocates against the sexual exploitation of children and youth, and holds education programs towards that end. They have sent out news releases to schools in the Lower Mainland the past six years, asking schools to “encourage socially responsible Halloween costumes.”

Sowden points specifically to costumes that glamorize the sex trade as especially concerning, citing the rise of a “pimp-andho” couples costume.

This year, the letter sent out to BC schools reads: “Costumes geared towards children and youth have increasingly become sexualized. Costumes such as ‘sexy teacher’s pet,’ ‘prisoner of love’ and ‘pimp and ho’ create false perceptions of the perpetrators and victims of sexual exploitation and human trafficking.”

Dr. Stuart Poyntz, SFU assistant professor in communication, believes that the

October 28, 2013

problem of the sexualization of young girls is far from exclusive to Halloween costumes.

“The problem of the sexualization of girls, and increasingly younger girls, through tween marketing and through particular celebrities, makes this just another instance of what I would say is an old and ongoing problem,” said Poyntz.

He continued, “It’s just another damn example of how entrenched our culture seems to be in pushing certain kinds of lines around the visibility and vulnerability of young people.”

Poyntz also thinks that the issue is systemic, and symptomatic of a problem that our society has yet to address.

“We’re at a time where any explicit talk that suggests girls should not be able to pursue their own ambitions, their own interests, their own concerns, is very easy to identify as sexism.”

According to Poyntz, this tendency has lead to a culture where dressing in an overtly sexual way is seen as female liberation.

“What happens when the kind of empowerment that’s been offered to girls is actually an old message wrapped in new clothing?” asked Poyntz.

“In emphasizing girls’ agency and girls’ empowerment, what we fail to recognize is when girls’ empowerment is empowerment in very particular ways and very limited ways.”

survey-takers who claimed not to eat their kids’ candy. “Or at least 15 per cent. I would have expected that number to be even higher than 81 per cent.”

The survey also found that women are far more likely to sneak some candy, or enforce a “family sharing” rule, at 84 per cent versus 74 per cent of men.

A recent study by CandyUSA has found that those suspicions you probably had about your mom taking all the good stuff from your Halloween haul while you were at school were completely justified.

According to the study — an online survey of 1,300 Americans — 81 per cent of parents confess that they take candy from their child’s Halloween collection. Reportedly, some are, at least, sneaky about it: 26 per cent of parents wait until their kids go to bed or school before sneaking some sweets.

“To me, that means that 19 per cent of people were lying,” Susan Whiteside, vice president of communications for NCA — National Confectioners’ Association — said with a laugh of the 19 per cent of

Whiteside was also taken aback by findings showing that Halloween was the number one holiday for sharing candy, beating out Valentine’s Day, Easter, and holiday giant: Christmas. “I know that Halloween and candy are inextricably linked, but I really did think that Valentine’s Day, or perhaps Christmas would be shown to be holidays where people share candy more,” said Whiteside.

When it comes to seasonal candy, Whiteside said

the survey found that adults serve as gatekeepers for their children. Forty-one per cent of respondents said they limited their children’s candy consumption to a couple of pieces a day.

Unfortunately, for those trick-or-treaters who have been carefully crafting their costumes since the leaves turned orange, the survey also found that costume choice or creativity did not play a factor in how much candy households gave out.

“Sixty per cent of households say that an original or cute costume has no bearing on the amount of candy they dispense,” said Whiteside; “I personally found that surprising. A cute costume wins me over every time.”

Whiteside described an instance from last Halloween when she had a trickor-treater come to her door dressed as Snoopy’s doghouse, in black clothing with a white doghouse for a hat, and his face done up like Snoopy’s.

“It was a pretty simple costume, but I’d never seen it before, and he had made it himself and it was really smart,” said Whiteside.

NEWS

October 28, 2013

just because he spent his “whole summer” working on it.

“I put, like, ten-thousand hours into thinking about this and experimenting with this,” Park said, emphasizing that his website idea came from a personal drive to enact positive social change. He is upset by the idea of others taking the idea who are concerned less with solving a problem and more with getting in on “a piece of the cake.”

Shortly after the launch of Skalefree — an SFU-specific social networking site — a similar site called Shrumlist has been released, with the same format and target audience.

Skalefree, released on Sept. 10, markets itself as a “social discovery tool designed to connect people” in the SFU community. The site’s tools include limited user profiles and posts for finding people for various purposes, such as buying textbooks and organizing study groups.

Shrumlist, released in early October, similarly targets SFU students exclusively, calling itself “your #1 social ad listing site for university.” It allows users to post ads for similar social purposes, but without user profiles.

Skalefree creator Brian Park, an SFU software engineering student, says he is frustrated by the idea of a similar site being released directly after his, and not

“I’m not [in] a position to know what really happened, but I . . . feel like the timing of their launch was a reaction to Skalefree,” Park said. “It’s just way too coincidental the way it played out . . . Why didn’t they launch earlier?”

Evan James, an SFU education student, responded on behalf of Shrumlist, saying that Shrumlist’s team began creating the site “in August and it was launched about a month later . . . it just happens

to be that both websites came out around a similar time.”

Shrumlist was not created in response to Skalefree, James insists, but rather to connect SFU students. The group had been planning the site for a year prior to its release, and, he continued, “We aren’t some third-party company.

We’ve put our own money up to try [and] help provide a service for SFU students.”

According to James, the sites are very different. “Shrumlist. com is organized like a classifieds website (with a feature that allows users to leave comments) whereas Skalefree has more of a forum format,” he explained. “Shrumlist also provides an easy to use format for organizations looking for volunteers and workers . . . something that wouldn’t work as nicely on a site like Skalefree.”

But the similarities are too glaring for Park. He admitted, “If I legitimately want to innovate, then I have to accept that there might be competition.” Nevertheless, he feels that copying innovation, as he believes Shrumlist to have done, is “unethical,” and it discourages creativity.

Shrumlist’s “end goal,” said James, “is actually to transfer control of the site (transfer, not sell) to SFU administration” to provide one central information site for SFU. “I’m definitely interested

in working with others, including Skalefree,” he added. However Park explained, “for collaboration, there needs to be trust and value added.

I’m not sure how a collaboration is going to work in this context.”

Concerning the sites having two “very similar concepts,” said Terry Beech, an SFU adjunct professor of business administration, “there’s nothing wrong with that whatsoever.”

“I kind of think of the internet more and more kind of like coffee houses,” said Beech. “There’s all these niches where you can face new products that are very similar to products that already exist. It’s just a matter of whether or not you can serve an individual audience . . . outside of what currently exists.”

Competition is good, Beech suggested. He says that the groups need to embrace it, while asking themselves how they are “different from what’s currently available” and “what value are [they] providing the SFU community that keeps [them] ahead of the competition.”

“The fact that more than one person is doing this means the customers will choose their cliques and their needs. . . . Over time, one will either emerge as the dominant one, or they will both have a big enough market independently to support themselves.”

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This year, the University will not be receiving any increase in grants from the Provincial Government — in fact, it is expecting funding cuts over the next two years. This poses a problem for basic university functions, such as scheduled salary raises for faculty and deferred maintenance costs.

To combat this issue, SFU will be raising tuition for both domestic and international students alike.

Although domestic students only need to fear a two per cent increase in tuition every year, the same protection does not apply to international students.

Therefore, international students can expect a tuition raise of eight per cent over the next three years, combined with the general two per cent raise. Therefore, by 2016 international students will be paying 30 per cent more for tuition than they do currently, while domestic students’ tuition will have increased by six per cent.

According to the SFSS board of directors, SFU professors are discussing the possible formation of a union. Talks began at the SFUFA General Meeting in March 2013, where members passed a motion to explore the potential for unionization.

In British Columbia, faculty are unionized at all public higher education institutions except SFU, UVic and UNBC. However, UVic and UNBC have indicated that they are actively considering unionization. SFU professors’ decision on unionization will be made at the Fall General meeting, which is set for Nov 6.

...continued on page 8

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Since its launch on Oct 1, the new Food Bank program has been used 20 times. Although board members are happy with their decision to switch from a traditional model to a food certificate program, Food Bank working group member and SFSS external relations officer Chardaye Bueckert said they “need more hands and brains on deck” to ramp up promotion.

Bueckert also expressed the Working Group’s desire to create a ‘shelf of reciprocity’ where students would be free to drop off donations or take away food items in a public and open environment. Similar models have been employed at many Canadian universities, finding them a successful alternative to the food bank while providing immediate access to food items.

October 28, 2013

On October 18, 2013, the standard green, white and blue of Rogers Arena was replaced by the bright neon t-shirts of approximately 20,000 educators and students from more than 700 schools, province-wide. We Day Vancouver featured world-renowned speakers and performers, such as Spencer West, Jacob Hoggard (of Hedley), Kofi Annan, Avril Lavigne, Martin Luther King III, and Down With Webster.

We Day is an initiative of Free the Children, an organization co-founded in 1995 by then 12 year-old brothers Craig and Marc Kielburger. When asked what drove him to create initiatives like We Day back in 2007, Craig remarked that he was just

trying to create something he wished he had back when he and Marc were kids. Basically, the Kielburgers wanted to make it “cool to care.”

Tickets for the event were free of charge for all attendees, with one caveat: all attendees had to have participated in one local and global action in order to be eligible for attendance. The students selected to attend the annual event were chosen based on their volunteer work history and merit as part of We Act. This year-long service learning program enables students to earn their way to We Day. Since 2007, We Act has helped thousands of youth volunteers, raised over $37 million dollars, and collected over four million pounds of food. We Act is just one of the engagement programs offered by Free the Children — an international charity that promotes education, sanitation and health care for the less fortunate.

Kielburger continued, “Music, academics, and sports are all part of a well-rounded childhood,

but so is service — that’s why we wanted to create this. [We Day] is the Grey Cup of doing good; [it] is the Super Bowl of service!”

By creating a large-scale event tailored towards budding student leaders, the brothers hoped to create an environment in which young people were inspired, engaged, and empowered to lead through service. The Honorable Romeo A. Dallaire, Lieutenant-General of Canada, urged attendants to “be the generation without borders.”

We Act chooses specific charitable causes each year, and this year there was an emphasis on bullying. Molly Burke, a young, visually-impaired motivational speaker, told an enlightening

story on how she was relentlessly bullied, but eventually chose to stand up for herself.

Premier Christy Clark also spoke at the event, and proclaimed to that effect: “How do we stop bullies? Stand up!”

We Day Vancouver also marked the launch of the newest initiative from Free the Children — We365, a digital platform that acts as a “one-stop shop” for youth to take action. This platform can be accessed through a mobile app or online website, and it allows youth to collect and track volunteer hours, as well as connect with other social activists. It is the first platform of its kind, with special features for youth under 13, and the Parent Tested Parent Approved Winner’s Seal of Approval.

Developed in Canada, We Day has expanded to become a global phenomenon. The stadium-sized movement has spread to the US — with conferences being held in Minnesota and Seattle — and for the first time ever, We Day will be held in London, England in March 2014.

NEWS

For the second instalment of Café Scientifique’s dialogue series, SFU assistant professor Julian Guttman explained how different pathogenic bacteria infect humans, what illnesses they cause, and the ways some bacteria can be used as bioterrorism weapons.

These “talks with docs” are intended as educational, casual discussions between research professionals and the general public and aim to engage the community by connecting them with current research.

October 28, 2013

Guttman began his chat by bringing recent bacteria-related food recalls to mind — these include the E. coli contaminations in XL Foods beef and at Gort’s Gouda Cheese Farm in Salmon Arm, BC. “When bacteria come up [in conversation], essentially everyone thinks about related human ailments — the diahrrea, the vomiting, and everything disgusting that comes with it,” he notes.

In his research, Guttman examines a variety of pathogens — including E. coli, Salmonella, and Listeria — to discover how they cause diarrhea in infected humans. While it is traditional knowledge that bacteria induce diarrhea through controlling intestinal muscles and membrane ion channels, his lab has found three additional causes of diarrhea. These include breaking the protein junctions between cells, controlling cell water channels to keep excess water in the body, and creating extra communication tunnels in cells.

Listeria, another hazardous bacterium on Guttman’s agenda, kills 30 per cent of infected individuals and is one of the only bacteria able to effectively infiltrate the fetuses of pregnant women.

“Listeria has the ability to cross the blood-placenta barrier that normally stops microbes from getting to the baby,” says Guttman. “It’s a very hard barrier for a microbe to cross, but Listeria has figured out a way to do it. After the fetus is infected, it doesn’t stand much of a chance against the bacteria.”

While a 30 per cent mortality rate is not to be taken lightly, the afflictions of these bacteria are minor compared to bioterrorism-level bacteria like Francisella, Guttman explains. Though rare, this bacterium belongs to the highest category of bioterrorism agents in existence — one microbe, he

Petition for official antiharassment, internal conflict resolution policy presented

Health and Dental Plan Fee Referendum planned for March 2014

Society auditor presented financial statements

Student Joseph Leivdal presented a 516 signature-strong petition asking for a motion to develop an official anti-harassment and conflict/complaint resolution policy for the SFSS. The motion, crafted by Leivdal, states that the policy would be developed by an “open, democratic committee,” which “must contain a two to one ratio of students, staff or faculty to any elected representatives present.”

Leivdal presented the motion during the discussion period on the passing of the meeting’s agenda.

Due to the meeting not reaching quorum, no new motions were allowed to be added to the agenda.

Board members Humza Khan, president, and Chardaye Bueckert, external relations officer, expressed that the SFSS constitution and policy review committee have been working on an anti-harassment policy for several months, and will continue to do so.

“The constitution and policy review committee has been going forward with a policy similar to this; anti-discrimination policy has been being worked on since the summer,” said Bueckert. She went on to say that an anti-harassment policy based on BC WorkSafe guidelines would be discussed by the committee at the meeting on Oct. 25.

A presentation was made about the SFSS Health and Dental Plan, which is managed by Studentcare.

It was announced that the society is planning to hold a referendum in March of next year to increase the plan fee “in order to maintain or restore benefits.”

The presentation was made by Kristen Foster, Pacific and Western director of Studentcare. According to Foster, the increase is needed because some benefits of the plan were reduced in 2010 and 2011 due to the current fee ceiling, and further reductions may be required in 2014 if the plan fees aren’t increased.

Foster also presented a new feature of Studentcare, a new mobile healthcare service that allows users to connect with BC doctors via smartphone or computer. The program is called Studencare’s Doctor Network, and has been developed along with Medeo.

The Doctor Network allows students to consult with doctors and other medical professionals from their personal devices, and Foster claimed that the wait times to see medical specialists will be much shorter through the program than in-person consultations.

Gary Wozny, of Tompkins, Wozny, Miller & Co., presented the SFSS’s 2013 financial statements, which the firm found to be in accordance with Canadian accounting standards for notfor-profit organizations.

estimates, is enough to cause full-blown disease in humans.

“We know that Francisella can kill people in about two days to a week,” said Guttman. “You’ll essentially have flu-like symptoms and then die, which is horrible.

You would have no idea [what

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hit you], and that’s exactly what a terrorist would want.”

“Hopefully, we’ll be able find a solution so that people feel more at ease about these bacteria and we can eliminate them off the threat list,” Guttman concluded. “It’ll take a lot of work, though.”

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10

OPINIONS

This past September, my foray with the Vancouver Fringe Festival had me stationed at the Firehall Arts Centre on E. Cordova on the — dun dun dun — Downtown Eastside. The theatre, while a delightful hidden gem, is really just the jumping-off point for today’s column. I know, I know, the chatter about the Downtown Eastside is almost deafening in this city, but all politics aside, I really just wanna talk about people.

I live on the Drive and the easiest way to transit from my

home to the Firehall was an ever-colourful jaunt on the #20 — the bus would conveniently drop me off at Hastings and Dunlevy, about a block away from the theatre. These rides lasted anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes providing plenty of time for personal contemplation and observation.

The bus, any bus, always seems to be a haven for some real characters. “Characters,” that’s the first term that sprang to my mind, how diplomatic of me. You’re familiar with the characters I’m talkin’ ‘bout: homeless people, junkies, the mentally ill lurching about, screaming gibberish at the top of their lungs.

They’re the people who make public transit oh-socringe worthy; the people who make you want to shrink into yourself, who make you deathgrip your purse and turn up the music already blasting from your headphones.

October 28, 2013

Hopping off the #20 at Hastings and Dunlevy didn’t provide much respite from the company of bus characters — anyone familiar with the area knows it’s a little rough. On my walks down Hastings, I began to realize that my gaze was constantly skyward. God forbid I lower my eyes and accidentally make eye contact with the gaunt man in the filthy jacket or the scantily clad girl with the potbelly.

Because that would mean acknowledgement of their existence: filthy, drugged-up, cold, hungry human existence.

The Firehall has one of my favourite performance spaces in Vancouver: the studio is small, there isn’t an elevated stage, everything is black, it’s a cozy hole where audiences and performers can connect. It’s not pretty or glamourous or accommodating or convenient, but it produces some really great shit. It’s got some substance despite its minimalistic, “rough” appearance.

opinions editor email / phone

Joel MacKenzie opinions@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

I hope this epic metaphor is falling into place for you guys. The run-down population of the Downtown Eastside is kinda like [drumroll please] the Firehall Arts Centre!

Forgive my flippant tone; I know this is a serious matter.

My sarcasm and condescending punctuation are really just masking a guilty conscious.

Because, while I’m writing this column, trying to find my authoritative voice, trying to call attention to the plight of the downtrodden who we hurry past on a day-to-day basis . . . I’m finding myself with very little to say.

Perhaps it’s because I hurried past the same man in the

filthy jacket every day for two weeks. Perhaps because my eyes watered with wind as I stared at the sky. Because it’s all dirty and pathetic and scary and ugly.

I know it’s hard to look at.

I know we protest and crusade for the rights of Downtown Eastsiders without ever really seeing them. I know we discuss the situation endlessly in safe spaces and brush by the subjects of discussion, eyes upturned. I know we do this because eye contact could mean exposure to shouting, solicitation, and general discomfort.

After my last show at the Firehall, I was waiting uneasily for the bus. A man behind me was puffing on a crack pipe (I think) when he saw an acquaintance; they embraced and laughed. Walking back to my place, I smiled at the toothless man sitting under a tree. He smiled back and held up two fingers in an offer of peace.

OPINIONS

It’s a bad week to be the leader of the free world.

You would think that with the defeat of the Republicanled government shutdown with an eleventh hour deal to avoid the breach of the debt ceiling, President Obama would be sitting on top of the world. Nothing could be farther from the truth, as domestic and international issues once again plague the president.

On the international front, the United States has come under heavy fire this week. Documents leaked from the now infamous Edward Snowden have revealed that the National Security Agency was not content spying on its own citizens, as the organization has apparently also engaged in the phone and internet surveillance of French citizens. These documents revealed that this surveillance extended to the French embassy in Washington, as well as the French delegation to the United Nations in New York.

One has to wonder if the United States is tapping into

October 28, 2013

Canadian phone and email conversations as well. If they are willing to violate international law to spy on the French — who Secretary of State John Kerry called their “oldest ally” — they are certainly willing to do the same for us. Consider that they have also been accused of going through the personal e-mails of Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto.

Speaking of violations of international law, the United States has also been accused of war crimes in the past week by Amnesty International over the continued controversial drone strikes in the War on Terror. Despite claims from Obama’s chief spokesman, Jay Carney, that there must be near-certainty of no civilian casualties before a drone strike occurs, the United Nations believes that at least 400 civilians have been killed

by American drone strikes in the past decade.

More importantly though, Amnesty argued that some attacked zones could not be legally classified as “war zones,”

and suggested America may violate international law by striking them. Legally, lethal force cannot be used by one state against another except by UN Security Council authorization, or in self-defence against an armed attack.

There has been no such authorization for these areas, and America would have a difficult time making a self-defence argument here, being not only the most powerful country in the world, but also summoning missiles from half a world away. Using these weapons of terror certainly does not reflect Obama having a Nobel Peace Prize to his name.

With these violations, the United States is slowly losing its footing on the moral high ground. A morally superior country does not read the emails of their allied compatriots, they do they spy on their citizens in such an illegal manner, and they should not continue to deny any culpability in their role in the deaths of civilians in the War on Terror, which, let’s be honest, only seems to exist in the minds of Americans: we have not seen a major terrorist attack in many years.

The United States needs to own up to its actions, and stop placing itself above the international community before they lose even more respect in the world than they already have.

11

12 OPINIONS

Renaming the feminist movement is a hot topic, particularly among those in the equal rights movement. The more politically correct among us wax on about being inclusive to trans, intersex, and other kinds of self-identified women who don’t want to be pigeonholed, but what I often hear is, “We should be more like men.” Usually, when equality is mentioned, it often frames women’s achievement in terms of men’s, or is muddled in order to achieve inclusiveness.

It’s shortsighted to focus on becoming men. Equality should be a checkpoint, not the end goal.

Feminists often encourage equal representation in maledominated fields, rather than giving value to what is feminine. We encourage women to become programmers, but don’t address “that marketing chick” in tech start-ups who gets hated-on. Our post-gender fantasy world includes gender neutral kids’ toys that incorporate blue but resist pink.

The overarching sentiment is that being a man is imperative to being a liberated person — that masculinity is freedom.

Yet, in some ways, the social code of men’s conduct still has harsh penalties. Women may get called a “crazy bitch” for

October 28, 2013

being bullish bosses, but “crazy bitches” still get promoted; men who cry at meetings, however, not so much. The masculine-code may have it better, but it is not great.

Aside from equality with men, feminism also often pivots on advocating men’s issues, in an attempt to achieve true equality. These issues, for example, include the fact that dying for one’s country has only ever been mandatory for men; fathers are seen as incompetent caregivers, meaning they rarely get full custody of their kids, but they are stuck with child alimony; suicide rates among white men over 50 are higher than women’s, though they are equally likely to be depressed — a fact often attributed to the expectation of men to bottle-up their emotions.

Even though the aforementioned is scary, women have plenty of issues on their own to worry about. Take, for instance, the facts that women who volunteered in wars were almost completely written out of history; or, because women are seen as natural caregivers, their work is usually undervalued, resulting in a smaller pension for them — the human

population statistically shown to live longer.

It doesn’t make sense that feminists still haven’t fixed women’s issues yet want to get involved in men’s.

Men have the resources to fix their own problems. As we have heard many times, men overwhelm the C-level suites at 96 per cent of Fortune 500 companies. They dominate fields such as science, technology, engineering and mathematics, and the media industry.

Men are in the decision-making roles capable of reversing the bumbling dad trope in films and ads. They are the politicians who can reverse conscription laws (and the lobbyists to pressure them), and have the money to funnel into suicide hot-lines.

Men’s rights activists — the supposed equivalent to feminism — seem more interested in complaining than actually diverting energy into creating habitable spaces for the discussion of men-centric problems. If they’re so uninterested in doing anything about their problems, what makes any women or feminists think they care to do anything for women’s problems?

Including men’s issues on the feminist agenda is a waste of energy — we have enough trouble as it is giving ethnic and sexual minorities fair coverage.

Yet somehow the onus is on us to provide men with a space at the table when they have no problem finding a chair.

So, as it stands, modern feminism’s fight for equality is a contradiction of aiming too low yet jumping too high.

Halloween is a time to celebrate death. It comes from, after all, All Hallow’s Eve, a holiday made to remember the dead. Sure, modern Halloween celebration is often cheesy: look at the fauxhorror, made-in-China plastic ghouls hanging in Tim Hortons for proof. But even if situationally removed, these symbols of death remain important reminders.

They are reminders that death is a part of life; it may be

instantly terrifying, or incomprehensible, but still something that we all must face and accept inevitably. This alone makes the concept worthy of the thought and attention that we give it near Halloween. And, as the holiday allows it to be, death should not be hidden from kids. Halloween serves as a palatable way for everyone to think and talk about the inconceivable yet inevitable.

I am speaking specifically about the living who want to ignore the meaning of Halloween. I won’t pretend to understand all of the details that make religious groups dislike the holiday, but I insist that trying to ignore Halloween’s meaning is silly.

Okay, providing a non-scary alternative to the holiday is great; perhaps kids should not be forced to think about the horrors of death to the extent that some haunted houses ask

them to. But children can’t ignore the concept forever, so take Halloween as an opportunity to discuss it.

Names like Fun Zone and Pumpkin Party for events on Oct. 31 aren’t fooling me, and they’re certainly not blinding the kids to the symbols of death pervading popular culture every October. An event scheduled for Oct. 31 is a Halloween one, whether you like it or not, so don’t ignore the meaning behind the day.

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ost people tend to be uneasy around spiders and in small, cramped spaces.

Darkness, public speaking and death are also among the most common fears.

With Halloween around the corner, the main objective is to scare and be scared, whether it be by playing pranks, watching horror movies or dressing up as all manner of ghosts and ghouls. Most of us tend to enjoy being scared a little — if we didn’t, zombie films wouldn’t be so popular and Stephen King would be out of a job.

However, phobias, from the Greek phobos meaning morbid fear, are far more serious: They’re anxiety disorders defined by irrational aversions to social situations, physical stimuli and specific objects. In the United States, about four to five per cent of people develop serious phobias within a given year, and the condition tends to affect women more often than men.

Some sufferers experience mild stress and anxiety as a result of their phobias; in serious cases, phobias can seriously impede the quality of life of those who suffer from them. Most people who have phobias know that their fears are irrational, but are unable to conquer them without the help of a therapist.

Some phobias are well-known: claustrophobia, agoraphobia and dentophobia have become household terms, and the suffix -phobia has come to be used nonclinically to denote prejudices, such as xenophobia and homophobia. However, some phobias are strange and much less common than your average fear of death. The Peak has compiled a list of ten of the most bizarre phobias out there, which are weird and wonderful to just about everyone except those who suffer from them.

Sadly, Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia — the fear of long words — is not, strictly speaking, real. The phobia of excessively long words does exist, but its real name, sesquipedaliophobia, is far less ironic. The former term, which is so long and unpronounceable that the mere thought of it likely sends sufferers of this particular phobia into fits, includes mentions of monsters and hippopotamuses in a satirical effort to make the fear sound more intimidating. No word on which trickster added these extra prefixes, although I’m sure they’re off somewhere chuckling to themselves. As for the fear itself, it’s common in children and teenagers, and often leads to difficulties in school and with reading. It may also lead to more common phobias, such as bibliophobia, the fear of books and printed material.

Not-so-mellow: Xanthophobia is the intense and irrational fear of the colour yellow. This includes objects that are yellow, such as daffodils, bananas, number two pencils and lemonade. In extreme cases, sufferers may fear the word yellow, and avoid mentioning the colour entirely. Like most phobias, xanthophobia usually develops as a result of childhood trauma involving the colour yellow. For reasons unknown to scientists, yellow is the most commonly feared colour, although phobias of the colours orange, red and black also exist. In any case, xanthophobes should be advised to avoid Coldplay songs and sunflower patches at all costs.

Tetraphobia is the fear of the number four, and it’s actually a lot more common than you may think. In most varieties of Chinese, as well as Chinese variants of Japanese, Vietnamese and Korean, the word for four is very similar or identical to the word for death. (In Cantonese, the number 24 is particularly bad, as it sounds eerily like “easy to die.”) Because of this, many East Asians believe that the number four is an omen of death or ill will, and avoid speaking it or writing it during holidays or when a family member is sick. In countries where tetraphobia is common, the fourth floor of hospitals, apartment buildings and hotels are often skipped — in areas of China with large Englishspeaking populations, floor 13 is also avoided, leading to some seriously convoluted building plans.

Pogonophobia is the fear of beards, and it’s often used to describe fear of facial hair in general. Though it’s usually used euphemistically to describe people who aren’t fond of chin fleece, for many the fear of beards is very real: it’s listed as a phobia in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, and the Beard Liberation Front, a British interest group that is very much a real thing, has formed their ideology around the premise that beardism — discrimination against peach fuzz patrons — is a damaging form of discrimination in our modern society. Before you laugh this off, consider that Disney’s ban against beards for park workers was only lifted last year, after more than a half-century of clean shaven autocracy.

Trypophobia is the fear of small holes, or repetitive patterns. Think strawberries, beehives and ant holes: trypophobes avoid tiny holes at any cost, and it’s hard to blame them, because eww. The thought of endless tiny holes covering the surface of an object is a little bit unnerving. Arnold Wilkins and Geoff Cole, two of the first scientists to research the condition, believed that — unlike most of the phobias in this list — trypophobia was the result of biological revulsion, rather than culturally learned aversion.

According to their research, those who suffer this fear connect the image of small holes with a sense of danger and unease.

This might not be totally irrational: while researching the phobia, Cole and Wilkins found that most animals with hole-like patterns on their skin were venomous, like the blue-ringed octopus. Yikes!

Big smile! Ipovlopsychophobia, the fear of having your photograph taken, is less common now than it was when photography first became popular; however, some still feel anxiety and discomfort when having their photo taken, and a small number of people refuse to have their photo taken at all — even for official documents like passports and driver’s licenses. It’s particularly common among minor religions, wherein the

belief is that having your photograph taken endangers your human spirit or your soul.

In Chiapas, Mexico, it’s illegal to take a photograph inside a church, and many Aboriginal cultures ban photography: Crazy Horse, who famously led the Lakota people to victory in the Battle of Little Bighorn, refused to have his pictures taken, and no existing photographs exist of him while alive.

Say cheese! Turophobia is the irrational and sometimes deathly fear of cheese.

Sufferers avoid pizza, lasagna and fancy hors d’oeuvres at all costs. I can sort of see where they’re coming from: most cheese is essentially spoiled milk, and some of the tastiest cheeses are visibly moulded. Some turophobes fear all cheese, while others are only afraid of a specific type of cheese, like Edam of Camembert. This condition often arises from cheese-related trauma (I’ll leave it up to you to imagine what this might entail) and it’s often considered a subcategory of cibophobia, the fear of food. Hopefully no one tells these poor individuals about cheese rolling festivals.

You knew it was coming. Coulrophobia, the fear of clowns, is probably the most well-known uncommon phobia. It’s often satirized in TV shows and other media: some fictional coulrophobes include Kramer from Seinfeld, Bart from The Simpsons, Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and pretty much every character from the film It. Though the term itself is only about 30 years old, coulrophobia has existed since the times of Ancient Greece, where prototypical clowns known as stiltwalkers roamed the limestone streets, frightening Greek children. Scientists have connected the fear of clowns with the uncanny valley concept, which posits that figures with human-like qualities that aren’t quite human are naturally frightening to us. If you’ve ever seen the motion-capture animation in The Polar Express, you know what I’m talking about.

Ablutophobia is the fear of baths, showers, and cleaning oneself. It’s a particular social impediment, for obvious reasons: sufferers aren’t against being clean, necessarily, but are terrified of the practice of becoming clean. It’s somewhat related to aquaphobia, the fear of water, but not all ablutophobes are aquaphobes. This phobia is much more common in children and women than in men, and it’s often carried over from childhood by kids who are exceptionally resistant to bath time. Many blame the murder scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho for fostering their fear of showers, and it’s not hard to see why. Ablutophobes are also very susceptible to disease, social isolation, and agoraphobia as a result of their lack of personal hygiene.

Panphobia isn’t exactly the fear of everything; a more accurate definition would simply be fear. Sufferers of this phobia are scared pretty much constantly, and feel a sense of dread at all times. Some panphobes also fear the concept of fear, bringing new meaning to Franklin Roosevelt’s famous inaugural address. Though this phobia isn’t listed in any medical books or formally recognized by any doctors, many cite anxious and frightened feelings that are unspecific to any stimuli or objects. This can sometimes be the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain, and usually occurs in conjunction with other anxiety disorders. See also phobophobia, the fear of (that’s right) having a phobia.

16

ARTS

Daryn Wright Arts Editor Dressing up for Halloween is fun and all, but what about the other 364 days of the year? Why not channel some of classic horror’s iconic dudes and dames when you get dressed in the morning?

You can look just as good slaying those papers as these folks did combating demons (or, you know, hunting down their loved ones with an axe).

The secret to stealing Ryder’s look? Wear black. It’s pretty simple. Ryder’s character, Lydia Deetz, is a friend to the dead, and, after nearly getting roped into marrying the “bio-exorcist” named Betelgeuse, she finds a new family in a sweet dead couple.

Ryder is the queen of the 90s, and her spiky black hair and solid black wardrobe in Beetlejuice have inspired many gothic renditions among girls young and not-so-young. If you’re not feeling down with the darkness, try out her short black bangs with a peter-pan collared shirt and a school-boy blazer, or go

Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates may just be the most dapper of the bunch.

Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) is trusted with $40,000 and decides to make a run for it and start a new life, when she happens upon the Bates Motel.

Norman, the quiet young man who runs the hotel, seems to be dominated by his mother (in more ways than one).

Beyond Norman’s creepy demeanour and stabby-stab personality lies an impeccably dressed dude. His collared shirts are crisp and layered beneath crew-neck sweaters and blazers. Looks for brown tweeds and beige hues and don’t be afraid to layer. He

arts editor email / phone

October 28, 2013

In 1968’s Rosemary’s Baby, Rosemary Woodhouse (Mia Farrow) becomes mysteriously pregnant and strange occurrences start happening around her. She becomes increasingly paranoid about her baby, an obsession which slowly begins to control her life.

Even while possibly carrying the spawn of satan in her womb, Rosemary looks good. Farrow’s signature pixie cut debuts in this film, and she does it well. To get her look, try out a short cut, or if you’re not feeling quite brave enough to go that short, test drive the chin-length bob with some sweepy fringe. Paired with wide

for a wide-brimmed black hat.

If you’re feeling extra fancy, hunt down some blood-red tulle and go to your next family function Betelgeuse-wedding style.

also tends to favour comfort over fit, so look for soft cotton materials, and don’t worry if your blazer hangs a little loose — all the easier to fit two personalities.

collared dresses in plaid prints, black turtlenecks, dangly silverchain necklaces, and little babydoll dresses, you’ll be the spitting image of 60s chic (sans devil baby).

Daryn Wright arts@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

Okay, so covered-in-blood isn’t exactly the new black, but Spacek’s character, the one and only Carrie, has her moments of school-girl chic. The film follows bookish Carrie and her controlling mother.

After discovering she has telekinetic powers, the shy Carrie is pushed to her limit on the night of her prom, activating a frightful power that is unleashed on her town.

During most of the film, Spacek is dressed in collared shirts, grey and navy blue tones, and scalloped trims, but she gets pretty dolled up for the night of her prom. Check out thrift stores for a pale pink silky slip dress and,

instead of a whole tiara, try out a jeweled hair clip. Just consider skipping out on the lank locks — and the blood.

Okay, so you can’t fake that absurdly square chin, but you can fake that I-was-just-digging-up-dead-bodies-in-thegarden look that he so winningly rocks. If you haven’t seen any of the Evil Dead trilogy, I suggest renting a copy and setting up your Halloween night for a good old-fashioned marathon. The films (and I’m purposefully leaving out the 2013 remake here) are scary, but they’re tempered by ridiculous slap-stick humour and Bmovie effects.

Campbell’s character, Ashley ‘Ash’ J. Williams, is a “manlyman” of the breed found primarily in western movies of the past. His greeny-blue collared shirt is rolled up to the elbows just so and tucked into dustbrown slacks. The look is completed with a rough leather belt and boots that look like they

should be covered in manure.

Granted, his shirt — what’s remaining of it, anyways — is usually covered in dirt and various bodily substances, and by the time we hit the end of Evil Dead II, his right hand has become a chainsaw, but the Icould-battle-deadites-for-days look is always fresh.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and what better way to dress for play than lodge attire! Jack Nicholson becomes Jack Torrance, a third of a family who is caring for an isolated hotel for the winter. Things go awry when Jack goes stir crazy and becomes violent, turning on his own family.

Nicholson’s spot-on crazy eyes would surely not be the

same without his family-man appearance and ski-ready closet. His plaid shirt and deep merlot-coloured sports jacket may translate as typical father attire, but when he flies off the handle, the contrast between

appearance and action could not be more stark. Look for forest greens, maroons, and navy blues. Anything that looks like it might need elbow patches one day also works. And don’t forget: it’s all in the eyes.

ARTS

As Halloween is the best time of the year to scare yourself silly, I thought it best to spook you all with some chilling tales from right here in Vancouver. After doing a little research, I discovered that the city is riddled with a ghostly past; many of our well-known landmarks are said to be haunted. I ventured downtown to snap a few photos and discover more about what haunts Vancouver’s famous streets.

Venturing into Gastown, I was surprised to learn that the historical buildings in the area are reportedly the hub of ghostly activity in Vancouver. The Dominion Building, one of the city’s first steel-framed high-rise buildings, was constructed in 1910. As the urban legend says, the celebration soon came to a fatal end when the building’s architect, John S. Helyer, was apparently killed after tripping down the staircase. Many who now work there say that mysterious footsteps can be heard on the stairs between the seventh and eighth floors. Helyer’s apparition has allegedly been seen as well.

Gaoler’s Mews, a well-preserved tourist attraction on Water street, left a particularly strong impression on me. Surrounded by cobblestoned courtyards and wroughtiron gates, it’s apparent that this site is rich with history; being the site of Vancouver’s first public jail, much of its story is not pretty.

October 28, 2013

Before being rebuilt after burning down in 1886, many of the criminals housed here were publicly hung to death in the courtyard west of the building. Since then, a strange woman in black is said to haunt the premises. Some speculate that she is the spirit of a widow who had lost her husband to the noose. She apparently chills the staff members when she calls out their names, and has been seen gliding through the gate to Blood Alley.

The hauntingly titled Blood Alley — the side-street parallel to Water Street — also has a dark past.

I was rather spooked while walking down the deserted cobblestones, the eerie silence only broken by a murder of crows. The alley is said to have been named for the the buckets of blood spilled on the street by butchers who ran businesses here at the turn of the 20th century. During this time, payday muggings and murders were common among street-folk, and psychics have recently fled the alley claiming that it is thick with the presence of horrible spirits.

Next time you go out for pasta, keep a look out for the ghosts that inhabit the Old Spaghetti Factory.

We’re all familiar with Trolley #53 pleasantly sitting inside the restaurant, and some of us (including myself) have eaten inside of it. Rumour has it that after closing time, a spirit of a uniformed conductor likes to sit and observe from one of the tables inside the trolley.

Additionally, the ghost of a redhaired man dressed in red longjohns has been known to haunt the customers, and once gave two women a fright when he appeared one evening leaving a cubicle in the ladies restroom. The “little red man” turned to the ladies and laughed at them before

exiting through the back door of the restaurant. Even more chilling is that no other customer saw the man leave the room, and when the ladies tried to capture him in a photo, he appeared only as a blur.

During the night, phantom footsteps walk the tiled floors of Waterfront Station, which is allegedly one of the most haunted places in Vancouver. Built by the Canadian Pacific Railway in 1915, the station was originally used for transcontinental passenger trains from across the country. Over the last few decades, night security guards have witnessed a series of apparitions and ghost-like activities throughout the building.

One guard stumbled upon the apparition of a woman in a dress dancing to mysterious 20s music alone in the corridor. When the guard rushed over to investigate, the music had stopped and the woman had vanished. Furthermore, guards have reported sighting three elderly ladies sitting on a station bench in the main hall, seemingly awaiting a train that will never arrive.

Finally, the ghost of a headless brakeman has often been seen to wander along the train tracks just north of the building. In 1928, the man slipped and fell on the wet tracks, rendering himself unconscious. Unfortunately, the man was then run over by a passing train and decapitated as a result. Now, the headless man has apparently terrified a few passengers while they await the Skytrain’s arrival.

Vancouver is certainly brimming with a paranormal history, so the next time you find yourself wandering through a deserted Gastown alleyway, you may want to consider walking a little faster. Afterall, you never who, or what, might be watching you.

17

18 ARTS

It’s that time of the year again — the time when the chilly air cannot adequately hold its moisture, and a misty fog descends upon the city. It’s the time when pumpkins are carved, fireworks are lit and mischief twinkles in the eyes of children. It’s also the time, most importantly, for haunted houses.

Inspired by the film The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, The Oubliettes of Dreams is a guided tour through the tormented mind of a man named David. Like a circus-inspired Dante’s Inferno , its visitors travel into different layers of consciousness, finally reaching the fiery depths of David’s subconscious mind. Interweaving circus, magic and theatre, The Oubliettes of Dreams aims to produce more than a haunted house: it attempts to create a living nightmare.

Set in a warehouse near south east Marine Drive, guests wait outside until a man emerges, armed with cue cards and pens. We are told to write a confession — something that we have never told anyone.

With slightly pained expressions, everyone scrawls a secret. “Students of psychology,” he addresses us, signalling our interactive role, “you are about to enter the consciousness integration portal . . . into the mind of David.” Nervous laughter emanates from the crowd, and our tour guide leads us into the first layer of David’s mind.

In an idyllic scene, glittery fairies swing, giggle and dance.

To calm David’s turbulent mind, we are told to meow and then sing “Moon River.” Apparently David is fond of cats and Andy Williams.

Next up is The Diviner. This performer, a whimsical magician, performs coin tricks while explaining the subconscious mind, dreams, and illusions.

Using his supposed powers of divination, he begins to rub his temples, eliciting our confessions. Perhaps it is simply part of the interactive performance, but The Diviner guesses quite

October 28, 2013

a few of them, the most notable being: “I hate the smell of Downey fabric softener.”

Suddenly, the lights go out.

In complete darkness, we grope our way through a mess of fabric and nets. It is here that we experience the most unsettling part of a haunted house — suffocating darkness and disembodied hands reaching out, grasping our limbs. Random hands are unsettling for another reason, too: sometimes they land in inappropriate places, such as my sister’s breast and butt. The lights flood back on, and performers hang from the ceiling. We have fallen into the The Oubliettes of Dreams.

A new character, Dr. Joseph Woodland, enters the scene.

Dr. Woodland, David’s former physician, has transformed into the circus ringleader of David’s mind. Using circus performances as visual metaphors for the inner workings of David’s deranged subconscious, two contortionists, an aerial rope performer, an aerial hoop performer, an acro-dance duo, and

a team of fire weavers perform fascinating feats to the applause of “psychology students.”

Captivating to watch, the contortionists writhed, slinked and bent into the strongest performance of the evening. There is always an element of exhilaration when watching circus acts because of the dangers involved. At any given moment, a performer could fall. And one did. Luckily, she didn’t seem too badly hurt, but it was a painful reminder of the precarious nature of circus performances.

While each routine expressed the expertise of the individual performer, the overall production lacked the cohesive elements needed to make it a seamless creation.

The production seemed piecemeal, more like a slideshow of performances. The overarching theme, David’s tormented mind, would have benefited from stronger dramatic performances of the tour guide and Dr. Woodland. Since these characters are the ones directing the crowd, they needed to be more convincing.

In all, the production was unique, but remains more dreamlike than nightmarish. However, The Oubliette of Dreams is an admirable undertaking, and it will be interesting to see what this crew comes up with next.

In the wake of of last year’s popular site-specific theatre experience The Zombie Syndrome, The Virtual Stage presents the sequel, The Zombie Syndrome: On Death Island, which runs until Nov. 3. If you’re looking for a unique way to get in the Halloween spirit, this show is the perfect fit.

Unlike a conventional theatre experience, audience members (“special agents”) are not told the venue until the night before their “mission.” The secret rendez-vous point, along with instructions for getting your smartphone ready for action, are emailed to all participants. There is even a “secret pass phrase” to use once you arrive.

During the meeting at the beginning of the mission, each agent is given a role within the story: I was the engineer, and my boyfriend was the psychologist. There’s also a chemist, biologist, electrician, and many other roles. As the engineer I was given zip ties to use later in the show, but I won’t tell you what that was for.

Roaming around “Death Island,” trying not to get eaten by zombies, and using smartphones to help the Department of National Defence track down the terrorist Sgt. William Sullivan are all things guests can look forward to.

Last year’s show, also written by Andy Thompson, was very well received by audiences and was nominated for two Jessie Richardson Theatre

Awards. This show picks up where the last left off, as Sgt. Sullivan holds the only cure to the deadly virus that reanimates the dead, and Sgt. Benjamin Allan has called in special agents to stop him. That being said, it is not essential that you’ve seen last year’s show since all of these details will be explained.

While last year’s show was more spread out, involving different locations around the city and requiring the use of public transit and a van to pick up agents after their mission, this year’s incarnation has improved that aspect of the show and there is little transportation involved. They have also minimized the number of physical clues and envelopes of evidence that participants have to decipher, which was a bit disappointing as it was enjoyable the first time around.

Even though I loved the way producers, The Virtual Stage, incorporated smartphone technology — like QR codes and GPS — into the show and made the audience part of the action, I think there is room for improvement.

Should they decide to put on a third installment next year there are a few things they could do to make the experience even better. A couple of the actors, for example, seemed to struggle to stay completely in character when faced with a group of people who say and do unexpected things and, at some points the pace felt a bit too rushed as we were moved along to our next stop.

I would also like to see more zombies involved in the show and maybe some more excitement surrounding them.

There were a couple of scenes that featured small hordes, but even though we were constantly looking over our shoulders, I only saw one lone zombie wandering around.

Still, there were definitely some moments that elicited shrieks from fellow agents, and this may be your only chance to prepare for a zombie apocalypse after all, so I suggest you sign up to help save the world.

ARTS

October 28, 2013

SFU’s Vancity Office of Community Engagement presents an evening with

JOE SACCO November 6, 2013 | 7–9 PM Tickets: $20 at sfuwoodwards.ca

Moderated by Charlie Smith of the Georgia Straight

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20 DIVERSIONS / ETC

October 28, 2013 CLASSIFIEDS@ CLASSIFIEDS@ THE-PEAK.CA THE-PEAK.CA CLASSIFIEDS@ CLASSIFIEDS@ THE-PEAK.CA THE-PEAK.CA CLASSIFIEDS@ CLASSIFIEDS@ THE-PEAK.CA THE-PEAK.CA CLASSIFIEDS@ CLASSIFIEDS@ THE-PEAK.CA THE-PEAK.CA CLASSIFIEDS@ CLASSIFIEDS@ THE-PEAK.CA THE-PEAK.CA CLASSIFIEDS@ CLASSIFIEDS@ THE-PEAK.CA THE-PEAK.CA CLASSIFIEDS@ THE-PEAK.CA

Across 1- Staple item in ghost or Plato costume 4- Halloween dance mainstay 5- RJ of the 1982 The Thing 7- Kodos’ companion 10- If it bleeds, we can kill it

16- Popular Halloween crime 17- Where we’re all going 19- Eg zombies, vampires, litches 20- Army of Darkness hero 21- By-product of gruesome murders 23- Seasonal gourd 25- Murderer Jason 26- Shambling apocalyptic monster 27- Rocky’s creator 28- Women’s costume prefix

Wayne’s World 6- The sexiest type of corpse 8- Common cause of burn ward admissions this time of year 9- Canine detective specializing in spooky crimes 11- Typical vampire villain 12- The last day of October 13- Recently completed show, likely too-common costume this year 14- Venkman villain; also the new Call of Down Duty (singular) 2- Mistress of the dark 15- Your girlfriend is 3- Favoured massacre likely to demand this weapon of the Alamo type of costume state 16- Halloween main4- Murderer who stay, illegal in riots definitely did not star in 18- Raven’s lament

22- Adjective for this crossword puzzle 24- The gentleman at the end of the puzzle

TRICK OR EAT 2013

Hope to see you there!

SPORTS

SACKVILLE (CUP) – Competition on the ice, field or hardcourt is supposed to serve as a medium in which humans can be careless, free and at peace.

For some gay athletes, it can feel more like a prison.

Nothing is more important in competition than getting the win and basking in glory. But for decades, gay athletes have been held back by what You Can Play co-founder Brian Kitts calls “casual homophobia.” You Can Play is a project with the goal to rid sports of homophobia. After campaigns to rid the locker room of racist and sexist behavior, homophobia has been thrust in the spotlight as the next target.

The effort to end homophobia in the locker room has been a hot-button issue from the big leagues to local arenas for a significant portion of the last halfcentury. And Kitts hopes the organization he helped start will be able to make a difference.

Kitts co-founded You Can Play with Patrick Burke and Glenn Witman in March 2012 as a tribute to Burke’s brother Brendan, who came out in November 2009 and worked to eradicate homophobia in professional sports before he died in a car crash in February 2010. At the time, Brendan was the studentmanager at Miami University for the men’s hockey team.

Despite the gains made in recent years with athletes, executives, journalists and teams coming together to stand against homophobia, one Mount Allison athlete still thinks total acceptance of gay athletes is unbalanced.

“I think that in general it’s more accepted among women to have gay teammates than men,” said the athlete, who wished to remain anonymous.

This was reflected in the comments from fourth-year Mt. Allison Mounties hockey forward Chelsea King, who’s adamant that homophobia shouldn’t be tolerated in any sport, “We’re all the same. Nobody should be judged or made fun of because of their sexual preference,” she said.

sports editor email / phone

October 28, 2013

Adam Ovenell-Carter sports@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

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However, the campaign to end homophobia in the locker room also faces roadblocks.

Locker room decisions and the events that transpire there are usually restricted to athletes and team personnel. This puts most of the decision to take a stand on the shoulders of the athletes and teams.

“Humans by nature value fairness,” said Kitts. “It’s a matter of giving them the opportunity to get on board with this.”

Since their founding almost a year ago, You Can Play has joined forces with several prominent schools, teams and athletes, all pledging to take a stand to end homophobia. The St. Thomas University Tommies, the University of New Brunswick Varsity Reds, the University of Ottawa Gee-Gees and the Ontario Intercollegiate Fastpitch Association have all taken a stand at the Canadian university level.

But the battle is still a long way from being over. Kitts noted the importance of not only forming an alliance of gay athletes, but partnering with straight athletes as well. “We’re going to grow out of [casual homophobia],” he said.

Kitts hopes homophobia can be targeted similarly to racism and sexism, though he admitted change will not come overnight. He referred to several decades ago when it would have been considered acceptable to some degree to use derogatory language towards athletes of different races or gender. This isn’t the case now, demonstrating how the world of sport has made strides towards a more open atmosphere.

Kitts is firmly focused on doing the same work with homophobia. For now, he and his team work day in and day out to ensure that athletic ability is the only determining factor for success in sports, from the bright lights of the world’s biggest athletic events to minor hockey games at the local arena.

Final Four competitors in 2012, the SFU men’s soccer team went without much contest last season, but 2013 has provided tougher competitors for the three-time Great Northwest Athletic Conference (GNAC) Champions. After dropping a greatly fought match to Seattle Pacific University in early October, the team saw another setback this past weekend tying the University of Mary Marauders 2-2 on the road.

The game started slow for both sides before a pass from keeper Brandon Watson missed its mark and was picked off by Mary striker Rory Pratt for the first goal of the evening. Both teams remained scoreless the rest of the period as the home side held the conference leading Clan to just six shots in the half.

The second period played out slowly, but SFU found momentum in the later stages, managing 11 shots in the second 45 minutes. It wasn’t until the 81st minute, however, that the Clan were able to find the back of the net as junior Joseph Martin put away a rebound after a scramble in the Mary box.

Martini’s goal seemed to be the break the Clan needed until a foul four minutes later allowed Mary to counter-attack and put themselves up by one once again. With only minutes left to respond, the Clan showed their level-headedness as Juan Sanchez was able to head in a Chris Bargholz cross to even the score. The match would head to double overtime but finished in a 2-2 draw.

Eager to put the tie behind them the Clan rebounded two days later blasting the South

Dakota School of Mines 7-0.

The match saw a great effort from all team members, including All-American Carlo Basso who earned two goals and two assists in the game.

Basso had been relatively quiet in the first half of the Clan’s season, but led his team to victory in South Dakota en route to earning his 100th career point with the Clan.

Other goals came from Jovan Blagojevic who added two, as well as Sanchez, Adam Staschuk and Colin Jacques. Jacques also had three assists while Sanchez added one of his own en route to being named the GNAC Red Lion Player of the Week.

Following the weekend’s trip, the Clan’s record moves to 11– 1–1, and the tie-win combo sees the team drop one position in the National rankings to fourth.

Seattle Pacific also moved to sixth in the NCAA Division II following their two-win weekend.

The Clan now return home for a four game swing that ends on Nov. 2 in what has become the most highly anticipated match of the season: the rematch against Seattle Pacific.

22 SPORTS

October 28, 2013

of the same: both Clan teams blew Colorado College out of the water, posting scores of 156–48 and 165–64 by the men and women respectively. However, both teams were easily handled

by Air Force again, with the men falling 144-81 and the women 145-88.

storming back. And after giving up the first two sets, and their momentum, the Clan lost their competitive groove, falling behind 7–2 early in the third set, a deficit they could not overcome.

“We started the game off with great energy but we couldn’t hold on and lost our mental focus when they got the momentum on their side,” said sophomore Alanna Chan post-game, having led the Clan with 12 digs in the contest.

For the SFU women’s volleyball team, the 2013 season has already been wildly successful compared to their 2012 campaign. They’ve doubled their win total (from four victories to eight), including three within their conference. But are they satisfied? Not quite yet.

The Clan have struggled with consistency and maintaining momentum so far this season, a fact highlighted by their 3–5 record within the Great Northwest Athletic Conference (GNAC).

When they can’t keep that momentum going their way, they struggle. Last Thursday against the first-place Alaska Anchorage University (AAU) Seawolves, the Clan were swept by scores of 25– 21, 25–22, and 25–14.

SFU led the first set 10–2 at one point and led the second by a 16–9 score before AAU came

But when things are going their way, and they have needed breaks on their side, the Clan have shown a killer instinct that the team has sorely lacked in seasons past. Two days after the loss to Alaska Anchorage, the Clan turned right around to beat another Alaska-based team, the University of Alaska-Fairbanks Nanooks, in straight sets.

It wasn’t an easy victory, by any stretch. The first set totaled 60 points, and after a back-and-forth affair eventually went in SFU’s favour, 31–29. There was never

more than a three-point lead for either side, and the score was tied 16 times. It’s no secret the Clan have struggled in close games in the past, but they are finding ways to get on the right side of the ledger. The final two sets were slightly less wild, with SFU winning them 25–20 and 25–18.

Junior left side Kelsey Robinson led the Clan offensively with 16 kills and, after the game, hammered home the value of momentum. “Once we won the battle in the first set the momentum was on our side,” she said. “We’ve just been working really hard on our defense and blocking all week and I think it paid off in this game.”

The Clan have done well bouncing back from defeats, winning games after losses three times this season (four, counting their nonconference schedule).

But, the team has yet to post consecutive victories in the GNAC and, sitting two games below .500 within their conference is hardly an enviable situation.

There’s definite progress being made, but progress won’t satisfy a program that’s long been starving for positive results (Editor’s note: Other things that are notoriously hungry: zombies, werewolves and vampires). A few more wins ought to do the trick.

Last weekend, SFU’s men’s and women’s swimming squads headed to Colorado to take on some elite competition at the United States Air Force Academy Dual Meet Invitational. The event featured swimmers from Colorado College, Colorado School of Mines, Colorado Mesa University, University of Nebraska-Omaha, and National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Division I’s Air Force Academy.

Both Clan teams handled their competition well, but struggled against Air Force.

After the first day of competition, on Oct. 18, and 13 events for both the men and women’s sides, the Clan men led Colorado School of Mines 127–77 and Colorado Mesa 127–103.

Meanwhile, the Clan women led the University of Nebraska-Omaha (who were only competing on the women’s category) 132–104, Colorado Mesa 154–82, and the Colorado School of Mines 174-54. However, both teams were downed

by Air Force, the men by a 142.50–89.50 score and the women by nearly the same score, 140–92.

The second day of dual meet competition was more

Despite falling against Div. I Air Force, the Clan had a successful start to the season. In addition to their general success at the Air Force meet, both men and women defeated the University of Puget Sound Loggers in their first meet of the season two weeks ago.

The Clan dominated, sweeping each of the 28 events they competed in.

(Editor’s note: the term “sweep” refers to the act of sweeping an opponent aside, with no dirt or blemishes (or losses) left to see.

Incidentally, witches are also known to use brooms, a tool for sweeping, as a means of transportation, and can occasionally be seen roaming the night skies around this time of year).

It’s early yet, with only two events under the Clan’s belt this season, and competitions running almost straight through until March. But early success is still success, and the Clan will aim to keep it going as the season progresses.

THE PEAK’S 48th ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING IS THIS WEEK! FREE FOOD — WIN FRIGHT NIGHT PASSES

If you’re an SFU student and your student account is paid up, you’re a member of the Peak Publications Society, and you’re invited to join the free food, Fright Night pass raffle, and edge-of-your-seat action at the Annual General Meeting! It will be held at 3:00 p.m. in the Peak offices at MBC 2900.

On the agenda: presentation of last year’s audit, appointment of a new auditor, and a byelection for At-Large Members of the Board of Directors.

JOIN THE PEAK BOARD OF DIRECTORS! Three At-Large seats are vacant and will be filled in a by-election at the AGM. If you are an SFU student in good standing, you are eligible for these positions.

Board members will attend monthly meetings and participate in major financial decisionmaking for the Peak Publications Society. It’s a great resume-builder.

See the-peak.ca/at-large to nominate yourself!

SPORTS

The Clan men’s basketball team has suffered a difficult transition into the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) over the past three years, but 2013 is looking to be a year of rebirth for the program, which begins its season in late October.

The team was able to keep three of their starters from last year’s squad, with Elijah Matthews, Taylor Dunn and Ibrahim Appiah all back for their senior seasons, a trio that will look to lead a team full of new talent to their best record in the Great Northwest Athletic Conference (GNAC) so far.

Senior David Gebru, who was ineligible in early 2012, is also returning; he played only seven games for the Clan last season after transferring to SFU from Western Illinois University, and averaged 17.3 points per game. Earlier this month Gebru was already named the preseason GNAC All-Star team.

Joining these four and the remainder of last season’s squad, are key junior college transfers coming to the Clan from the US who are

The Simon Fraser University men’s hockey team’s high-octane offense continued to roll along against the University of Victoria Vikes over Oct. 18-19 weekend. The visiting Clan outscored their hapless opponent 15–0 over the two games and made a statement to the rest of the BC Intercollegiate Hockey League (BCIHL) in doing so: this iteration of Clan hockey will be hard to slow down.

UVic was well aware of SFU’s scoring prowess; in Game 1 of the doubleheader the Vikes strategy was to utilize the defensive

October 28, 2013

eager to get their feet wet playing NCAA ball. Sango Niang and Justin Cole come to the Clan from Chaffey Community College. Also joining them is Darius Page, from Columbus State University.

The team will look to the three men to bring athleticism and experience to their efforts. These additions add depth to a Clan side that has suffered from loss of eligibility in the past, and boast a promising future for the team this

trap — having only one player forechecking and the remaining four players staying in the neutral zone — to neutralize the Clan’s offense.

(Editor’s note: “To neutralize” is a phrase that can be used euphemistically to refer to killing or destruction. Speaking of which, expect to see a lot of dead people roaming the streets these days). To combat this, SFU combined a suffocating forecheck with their speed to drive the puck out wide, dump it in and chase it down.

Simon Fraser’s two first period goals were results of this strategy. The first came when Graham Smerek retrieved the puck deep in UVic territory after a solid forecheck and good hustle and eventually fed a wideopen Jesse Mysiorek out front for the tap-in.

The Clan’s second goal came when newcomer Yan

season as they look to improve on last year’s 6–20 record.

Improvement in depth will also be matched by improved efforts to become more involved in the community. Clan players and coaches spent time on Canadian Thanksgiving serving holiday dinner to patrons of Vancouver’s Salvation Army Harbour Light.

Coming together prior to the season gave the team a chance to experience something positive and

Kalashnikov used his speed to beat Vikes’ defenseman Alex Bond out wide, forcing Bond to trip Kalashnikov. Nick Sandor rewarded Kalashnikov’s hard work with a beautiful top shelf goal on the ensuing power play.

In the second period, UVic came out with good energy and generated some offensive pressure. At the 8:30 minute mark however, the Clan broke their counterpart’s spirit, as Mike Ball’s point shot missed the net, but bounced right to Nick Sandor for the easy goal in an essentially empty net.

The lucky bounce took the wind out of UVic’s sails, as SFU

started off their training camp on a high note.

To begin their 2013-14 campaign, the men travel south to begin exhibition play against Div. I schools Gonzaga University and University of Montana before turning their attention to nonconference play in California the weekend of November 8. With only a short training camp period under their belts the men will have to find their footing with the

added four more goals in the frame to take a 7–0 lead after 20 minutes.

Game one was effectively over before the third period even started, but for good measure, SFU potted three more goals to capture a 10–0 victory.

SFU “only” won Game two by a score of 5–0, but their dominance was never in question.

UVic changed their strategy from the night before, bringing more than one forechecker in to apply pressure on SFU’s defense. This meant the Clan’s defensemen had to make good first passes out of their zone, and they did just that.

The topline of Jono Ceci, Nick Sandor and Trevor Milner got the Clan on the board in the first off a perfectly executed threeon-two rush. The goal was an example of SFU using their speed to deter UVic’s new forecheck.

After adding two more goals in the first, SFU found itself in

23

new rotations and players, but the talent of the team should be evident even in the early games.

It will also be a chance to find a replacement for the team’s 2012-13 scoring and rebounding leader Anto Olah, who averaged 13.2 points and 7.4 rebounds per game in his senior season (Editor’s note: Olah is “halo” backwards, which is a characteristic of angels, known for their feud with the demons. Demons, as with many things around this time, are very evil creatures).

Olah recently signed his first professional contract with Alba Fehérvár in Hungary. Joining the ranks of Clan alumni who have gone pro; he was followed by 2011 graduate Chris Parades who signed with Asseco Gdynia of Poland earlier this month.

With historical success and numerous players who have gone on to play professionally. The Clan men’s basketball program has roots on which to grow; this year’s team just needs to play with drive and determination to fuel their ability and take them to their first winning season in several years.

Despite playing in a tough conference, this year’s squad has the ability, on paper, to make an impact and change the game for SFU — that ability just needs to come to fruition on the court.

penalty trouble in the second frame. Facing a Vikes’ 5-on-3 powerplay, SFU’s penalty killers staved off the attack by blocking shots that would make Canucks’ coach John Tortorella proud, and stellar goaltending (Editor’s note: While Jason Voorhees is famous for wearing an old hockey mask, he does not, in fact, tend goal for the Clan).

SFU put this game to bed in the second as Trevor Milner placed a perfect wrist shot over the shoulder of Vikes’ goalie Robert Simmons. SFU added a fifth goal in the third to round out the scoring.

SFU heads home for the marquee match of the early season: a Saturday night showdown with fellow undefeated squad, Selkirk College. The game features the top two teams in the league, and a win would make SFU the early favourites to bring home the championship.

24

HUMOUR

-JORDANO TONIAL, THE PEAK

humour editor email / phone

October 28, 2013

-BRAD MCLEOD, THE PEAK

Brad McLeod humour@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

-JORDANO TONIAL, THE PEAK

HUMOUR

October 28, 2013

You know that guy? Yes, that guy, because let’s be honest here; it’s only guys who do it. The guy who sits in front of you for the whole lecture — headphones in, glassy eyes half open— playing LOL (League of Legends). Yes, many of us make use of the pacifier that is video games from time to time, but really? Do you need to inflict such dire dramatic irony on yourself in class? Melting your brain when you should be developing it.

I mean don’t get me wrong, I love video games more than half as much as I should studying; it could be said that I even love playing video games (but that would be sad, so it’s best left unsaid). But,

do you really, truly, feel the need to bring that love into the classroom? No one wants to see that; it’s quite simply PDA. You keep it to yourself like feelings or a bad report card (or perhaps any report card if you continue in this way).

So please, I beg of you do not play LOL in the classroom. Do not play any video game. In fact don’t even play tictac-toe. You’re here to learn, not to play like a child. But hey, don’t let me tell you how to live your life. If you want to pay $6,000 a year to play video games then be my guest.

I really dislike roller coasters. Some might even say that they’re something I hate. But my reasons for this hatred are really quite simple. Personally, I just don’t like the feeling that I’m going to die and that’s pretty much exactly the sensation that roller coasters aim to elicit. Paying money to experience a simulation of what the last moments of my life would feel like is not exactly my idea of fun.

But I don’t aim to push my views on these supposed “thrill” rides onto others.

It’s not like I go around telling people to not enjoy things that they love just because they don’t appeal to me. Just like I’ve never stopped anyone from eating onion rings or playing charades, I’ve never told anyone that they shouldn’t enjoy roller coasters. And yet, as a coaster-hater, I’m continually challenged

by people who won’t accept that I just don’t have fun on them.

People who I confide in with this dislike constantly search for an underlying reason for the hatred. Like, I must get sick on them or I must think they’re unsafe. Neither of these things are true.

First of all, I don’t get sick, I just get terrified because they are terrifying. And I’ve never questioned their safety. I don’t think I’m going to die when I ride a roller coaster, I just know that the roller coaster is designed to make me think I’m going to die. And it does a goddamn great job of it. So please, don’t force me to pretend to enjoy these death-simulators just because you like them and let me watch you from the teacup ride in peace.

-BRAD MCLEOD, THE PEAK

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26 HUMOUR

October 28, 2013

Of course we all know that Halloween is a fun time to get together and have good wholesome fun. Kids get to go out about the neighbourhood and collect candy from strangers; teenagers get to practice their explosive and fire-safety skills and adults have an opportunity to disguise themselves as whatever they choose.

Whether it’s a Native American chief, their favourite rapper or their most admired SS commander, they get to take a break from their boring lives and are allowed to drink excessively as someone other than themselves for once.

Unfortunately, sometimes the fun of Halloween goes a little overboard and you may

accidentally offend people with cultural appropriation! So this year, before you lather up some blackface for that great Trayvon Martin costume you’ve been planning, remember to take some time to think of others while you carve your pumpkin.

It can be tough to know what is and isn’t acceptable to include on your jack-o’-lantern, so just in case, here’s a list of UNACCEPTABLE designs that you should avoid this year. We think that they are so terrible and offensive that we’re going to publish them all with really big pictures.

These are really horrible and in poor taste! Enjoy the full list and share it with all your friends!

NO! If you think this is an appropriate jack-o’-lantern to put out on your stoop this October 31, think again! This is an offensive, stereotypical portrayal of Asian culture. I know you may think it’s okay because you added “Vampire eyes” to make it spooky but those teeth are so obviously that of a blood-sucking Oriental that it’s not even funny!

e!

Unacceptabl

I don’t know what kind of monster you’d have to be to think that this is alright but what you see here is NEVER OK. Sure, it looks exactly like Jay-Z but changing the colour of a pumpkin is down-right offensive and insulting to the good white farmers who grew them. Don’t insult our proud Caucasian pumpkinfarmer culture with this nonsense!

I Don’t Think So !

This one is so obvious it doesn’t even seem necessary to explain, but you cannot carve this into your pumpkin! Yes, it’s a great attempt at a tribute to the Nazis but you’ve got to get the tilt right.

The way it’s done here makes it look like the buddhist symbol for good luck and is an insult to the rich history of Nazi-culture!

HUMOUR

October 28, 2013

No way Jose!

This is cultural appropriation at its ugliest. Of course the sombrero is hilarious and a classic Halloween accessory that everyone will love, but there are those Asian fangs again! You can’t do that, come on!

Go back to the drawing board!

I feel like we’ve already covered this, but your jack-o’-lantern shouldn’t just be about you. A lot of people who don’t share your sensibilities of what’s acceptable and unacceptable are going to see it and judge you. Avoid this Redskins design, not only for your jack-o’-lantern but just in general. It’s revolting and you should know you’re living in a SEATTLE SEAHAWKS FOOTBALL CULTURE! Go ‘Hawks!

Try again!

A mowhawk, really? You think it’s okay to make your Jack-o-lantern look like a stereotype of one of the longest suffering, most ill-treated groups out there?

Think again pal, this is something that NEEDS to be avoided this year. Honestly don’t you think Travis Barker gets mocked enough without you going and doing this?

n Don’t eve it! t u o b a k thin This one is just so tiredly offensive that it’s boring. Yeah. we get it ‘Arabs love fireworks,’ that’s really funny. Truth is not all Middle-Easterners love fireworks.

Some prefer bombs and others even dislike fireworks so much that they refuse to celebrate the 4th of July! So quit it with these stereotypes and represent ethnic groups accurately!

Nope!

This is totally insensitive, please don’t put anything like this outside of your house, okay? It may not be that upsetting to you if you’re a North-American privileged Caucasian and say it’s just a ‘silly joke’ but just think about other people who didn’t grow-up the way you did and won’t understand the cultural reference. Not everyone was raised in a Spongebob-watching culture and you have to respect that!

ere!

Get out of h This one is so offensive that I don’t even have the words. If you think this is okay you must be seriously messed up!

27

28 LAST WORD

features editor email / phone

Max Hill features@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

October 28, 2013

alloween: That supernatural time of year when ghosts, goblins, and every conceivable celebrity look-alike gather at your doors, demanding you give them candy. But have you ever thought about where these creepy customs actually originated? The Peak has the story behind some of Halloween’s longest-standing — and spookiest — traditions.

Over 2000 years ago, the Celts began the festival of Samhain on October 31 to celebrate the New Year (which, according to their calendars, came on November 1).

They believed that on this night, the line between the worlds of the living and the dead were the thinnest.

Ghosts, demons, and all manner of the dead were thought to walk among and mingle with the living on this special occasion.

The Celts celebrated with bonfires and sacrifices to satisfy the otherworldly beings, and to protect the living from close encounters with these unwelcome guests.

Halloween has gone through many transformations in its lifetime. In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III designated All Saints’ Day on November 1, in an effort to celebrate the good in the world after the evil of the previous day.

The name Halloween is actually a contraction of All Hallow’s Evening, since it’s celebrated on the eve of Gregory’s saintly holiday.

Since then, the religious aspects of October 31 have gradually fallen aside, and made way for the modern, relatively family-friendly events we know now. You’re still likely to see ghosts and ghouls roaming around during the day, but most of them will probably be kids in plastic costumes.

Each year on October 31, if a black cat crosses your path, you’re likely to view it as an unwelcome omen of bad luck. So, why are you scared of that cute kitty you’d lovingly embrace any other day of the year?

Back when poor old ladies were being accused of witchcraft on a much-too-often basis, their cats were called their demonic sidekicks, or their “familiars.”

Some even accused cats of being the devil incarnate, come to Earth in feline form to socialize with the sorceresses. Suffice it to say that black cats have been affiliated with evil since day one, and most often in relation to Halloween.

Supposedly, if a witch becomes human, her black cat will no longer be by her side. However, in the olden days, when an accused witch was killed, her cat often was as well. In any

case, it’s probably best to avoid adorable black kittens on Halloween night — just to be safe.

Carving scary, funny, or just plain weird faces into pumpkins is one of October’s bestloved traditions. Pumpkin carving has its roots in an old Celtic folk legend of a man named Stingy Jack, who was banished from heaven and hell after tricking the devil.

Wandering lost and alone in purgatory, he fashioned himself a lantern from a lump of coal inside a turnip to light his way.

The Celts then began to place their own lit-up turnips outside of their homes to guide lost spirits like Jack — however, they’d carve scary faces on them to dissuade the spirits from coming too close. When the potato famine forced many to immigrate to North America, the tradition travelled with them. However, turnips were less common in their new home, so pumpkins were introduced as a replacement, and a new tradition was born.

Children will be the first to tell you the most important part of Halloween is, without a doubt, collecting candy door to door (it’s a hard point to argue). This tradition first began in a much different form in Europe, during the ninth century. Children and poor people would travel from town to town on Halloween night, asking for “soul cakes,” which are small biscuits made with nutmeg and ginger. In return for the cakes, they would offer prayers for the generous givers’ dead relatives.

The more soul cakes given, the more prayers the dead relatives would receive from the beggars. As time progressed, the tradition of going door to door lost its religious aspects, and children began collecting candy instead of baked goods.

Today, most trick-or-treating takes place between 5:30 and 9:30 p.m. Make sure to stock up on those chocolate bars!

Collecting sugary treats was not always the reason for dressing up on Halloween.

Today, it is one of the biggest consumer-based holidays, with parents spending an average of $1 billion on kids’ costumes for this scary night.

However, costumes come from much humbler origins.

The practice of dressing up for this special occasion developed from the Celtic tradition of disguising oneself as an evil spirit, so that when the demons check their calendars and decide it’s time to roam the Earth, they simply mistake you for one of their own and pass by. Given that this was done in an effort to survive the night, it may not have been quite as much fun as it is now.

Halloween is a popular holiday around the world, and carries with it many varied traditions and histories.

Whether you’re watching your favourite horror flick, going door-to-door with a younger sibling, hitting up a costume party or carving the perfect pumpkin, everyone can find some enjoyment on this frightful night.

Happy Halloween!