Standing Stranded

Respecting RA’s and treating them fairly is essential to keeping the university functioning.

This is a transit project that is going to drastically improve the quality of life for students now and for generations to come

AMAL VINCENT // TSSU CHIEF STEWARD

BURNABY GONDOLA

S F S S 2 0 2 2 A N N U A L G E N E R A L M E E T I N G

T H U R S D A Y , O C T O B E R 2 7 , 5 : 3 0 P M V I A Z O O M A G E N D A

T T E N D A N D H E L P S H A P E A B R I G H T E R F U T U R E F O R S F U U N D E R G R A D S !

( T H E L I N K W I L L B E S H A R E D C L O S E R T O T H E D A T E )

V O T I N G O N T H E S F S S B Y L A W C L E A N U P & C L A R I F I C A T I O N V O T I N G O N C O U N C I L E V O T I N G V O T I N G O N T H E A N N U A L R E P O R T R E V I E W I N G A N D A P P R O V I N G T H E S F S S ' S F I N A N C I A L A U D I T R E V I E W I N G A N D A P P R O V I N G T H E S F S S ’ S F I N A N C E R E P O R T R E V I E W I N G A N D A P P R O V I N G T H E S F S S ’ S A N N U A L R E P O R T A P P R O V I N G N E X T Y E A R ’ S A U D I T O R

I’m holding myself to a bit of a higher standard than usual. In the long run, it’ll be good for not just me, but for the whole program.

JAMAL WRIGHT // SFU MEN‘S BASKETBALL

CYCLE

TURKEY GOOFY

PICK SIX HOUSE

FLARE BRICK

SALLY TURF MONSTER

DROP KICK

What is your go to pre-race song?

Usually something that’s lighthearted and upbeat. During the race, I like to repeat it in my head [to] set the pace. I think [the last song I listened to] was Dog Days Are Over [by Florence + The Machine].

What is the best course you’ve ever raced on?

I really like when they have hills. I liked last year’s Bellingham course [ . . . ] it had a nice forest part, and then it also had some gravel, and some grass.

If you could pick one Olympian to have lunch with, who would it be and why?

I think Mo Farah because I’m English, so I really like him. He’s also my cousin’s favourite. When we were younger, we would always follow his races and watch him. He’s been a big inspiration for me.

What is your least favourite workout?

1K repeats. We do this one at Burnaby Lake, which is like six times 1K. They’re super fast, we don’t get much rest, and they’re just really hard.

How do you unwind after a race?

It honestly depends on the race. Sometimes if I’ve had a race that really drained me, I’ll kind of escape and go hide somewhere. I remember once when I was younger, I sat in the forest for half an hour.

What is something you wish people knew about cross country?

I wish they knew how big the races were. I feel like when you think of cross country races you only think there’s a few people. I remember before I did anything at SFU, I was used to racing with 50 people. But they’re actually very big — 150 people, sometimes 200.

If SFU women’s cross country could have a team pet, what animal would it be? What would its name be?

I think I’d choose a dog. (*I guess McFog didn’t cut it?*)

SFU women's cross country came out with superlatives, which one would you be assigned?

Most likely to do something clumsy. During our workout yesterday, during our warmup, I accidentally ran off a little bridge and fell into the bushes.

We’ve always played against each other growing up, so it’s nice to play together.

TYLER DHILLON // SFU MEN’S SOCCER

1. Don’t say its airborne

COVID-19’s primary mode of transmission is through the air — you know, aerosols we breathe in and out. However, actually saying that would cause people to panic! We don’t want the general public to be properly aware of their risk because that means we’ll have to invest in high-quality masks and filtration systems. That’s unthinkable. Instead, let’s tell people to wash their hands and pretend like we can put the onus on individuals to protect themself from COVID-19. (Spoiler alert: They can’t.)

2. Tell people it’s “mild”

Now that COVID-19 is extremely infectious, everyone is getting sick all the time. Instead of acknowledging we are in a huge surge, let’s just call it “mild” and leave it at that. No need to explain that “mild” can also just mean “not admitted to the hospital.” Oh, and don’t mention that hospitalizations are rising, either.

3. Stop collecting data

How are people supposed to believe there’s no pandemic if we collect accurate data on rising cases and death rates? Instead, we’ll change the way we watch COVID-19 cases, so we can point our fingers at the statistics and refuse to acknowledge these aren’t accurate in the first place. We are not seeing a rise in cases, we just stopped testing *wink* — everything is fine.

4. Pretend like reinfections and long term consequences aren’t real

Everyone is getting sick all the time! Which is great for immunity — something that totally holds validity despite multiple people becoming continuously infected. Yes, this theory says that once infected, you’ll be better protected . . . but no one will notice that’s not actually happening, right? Oh, and long COVID? We’ll pretend like that isn’t happening either, just don’t say anything.

5. Completely ignore the collapse of the healthcare system

29-hour waits at the hospital and 10-hour waits for an ambulance . . . no one is getting the care they need. People are dying, and we simply refuse to do anything about it. The ER nurses have been complaining in the news, but no

ARIES — Mar 21–Apr 19

Take literary inspiration and dress up as a scarlet “A” this year, as in Scarlet Letter. Not only will you show your teachers initiative by dressing as an A, you will also experience the public persecution of fitting your outfit through classroom doors! A+ for you, Aries!

TAURUS — Apr 20–May 20

Taurus, I’m feeling like you should dress up as specifically Rick O’Connell from The Mummy. No, the Stars haven’t been on a movie binge recently. Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to empower yourself with himbo energy?

LIBRA — Sept 23–Oct 22

Cringe culture is over, Libra. Who cares what people think? You want to pull out Scarlet Witch? Do it. You want to do a Winx fairy? Do it! Chase your bliss, and have fun.

SCORPIO — Oct 23–Nov 21

Do you remember when a few weeks ago I advised you to live your best 2014 Tumblr life? That’s right, babe, I think you should go all in. I think you should wear your SuperWhoLock shirt with pride. Or even dress up as a Supernatural character! I promise you will be adored.

GEMINI — May 21–Jun 20

The Stars aren’t sure you will dress up this year. You have like, a gazillion costume ideas, but ultimately midterms and finals may wear you down to dress up as a student trying their best. You know what? You’re doing great!

SAGITTARIUS — Nov 22–Dec 21

The Stars divined your fate almost immediately, lucky creature! You should dress up as your comfort food, which is definitely some kind of soup. Just one look at your comforting ceramic shape should reassure everyone around you, just in time for exam season.

CANCER — Jun 21–Jul 22

Ignore everything we just wrote about Gemini, because dear Cancer, this Halloween is your time to worship the Soothsayer of Forests: Hozier! We predict a flower crown and loose flowing outfits in your future.

LEO — Jul 23–Aug 22

Leo, you will be absolutely transcendent, darling. No, dressing up as a concept isn’t pretentious! Everyone deserves some glamour and sophistication, especially you, my dear. I love that you want to dress as “the vulnerability of being known,” whatever that means! Superstar.

CAPRICORN — Dec 22–Jan 19

Have you hit up a pumpkin patch yet? The Stars think you should take some time to relax and fulfill your childhood dreams of wandering through the pumpkin patch as a character from Narnia

AQUARIUS — Jan 20–Feb 18

Oh, Aquarius, I think we are having some trouble getting your costume ready for you! It happens from time to time, some interception between the Stars and between me, their humble translator. Here, why don’t you take my trusty disco ball outfit. So you can be ballin’ and the belle of the ball!

VIRGO — Aug 23–Sept 22

Virgo, no pressure, but you know you have to do this better than anyone else. You’ve been thinking about your Halloween costume concept since July, making foam pieces of armor, and putting it all together. Blow us away!

PISCES — Feb 19–Mar 20

We’re not sure if you are the kind to get in the spirit for Halloween, but you can still have fun! Take up some candy and carve out a pumpkin with your friends. Dress up as the Mario Kart characters together!