inside:
Spotlight:
Adoption issue My Patchwork Heart Moms in the Know
FREE
November 2016
*Northwest Health Physicians’ Specialty Hospital is owned, in part, by physicians.
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KIMBERLY ENDERLE Editor-in-Chief editor@peekaboonwa.com | 479-957-0532
JONATHON ENDERLE Creative Director jon@peekaboonwa.com | 479-586-3890
Kim and Jonathon with Ava, Grant and Holden Enderle. PHOTO BY MAIN STREET STUDIOS
CONTRIBUTING WRITER/EDITOR Frances Wilson
ADDI MCNEEL
DISTRIBUTION/ CIRCULATION
Associate Editor
Joyce Whitaker Judy Evans Marcedalia Salinas
Columnist
Jeremy Whitaker Michelle Dodson
BEN LACY
Peekaboo Publications
Dad’s View
Columnist
PO Box 1036 Bentonville, Arkansas 72712 Please send inquiries to: editor@peekaboonwa.com or call 479-957-0532 www.peekaboonwa.com Peekaboo may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Views expressed herein are those of the authors and advertisers, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the magazine.
PEEKABOO Northwest Arkansas accepts writing contributions
VERONICA ZUCCA Story Design
JENNIFER CRISTOFARO Events
inside
NOVEMBER 2016 22
The Center of Our World BY: MANDY CAMPBELL
36
Meet the Nance Family BY: HEIDI NANCE
38
Dad’s View
16
Our Journey
20
NUK® Outtakes
BY: LADONNA HUMPHREY
WITH BEN LACY
50
Mom in the Know BY: CHRISTY MARTIN
56
Adoption in Arkansas BY: JUSTIN HEIMER
66
When Reading Doesn’t Make Sense BY: ANDREA HANSON, CCC-SLP
68
28
46
My Patchwork Heart
It’s the Happiest Sad
BY: RACHEL HAMM
BY: BRITTANY WHATLEY
The Snowman A Family Concert
70
Remembered by God BY: CHONDA RALSTON
72
ONE CALL, MANY CHANGED LIVES
on the cover 48
Best Day Ever BY: TERESA HUDSON
60
Our Adoption Story: The Enssle’s
Cover Sponsored by: Northwest Health www.northwesthealth.com 10 November 2016
Bella, 8, and Jack Krein, 7 of Siloam Springs
Photo by: Main Street Studios www.mainstreetstudios.net
12 November 2016
from the editor A look ahead: If you have a story to share, or an idea for a story, email editor@ peekaboonwa.com and be a part of the Peekaboo family! December: Holiday Gift Guide and Events. January: Update issue on your past favorite family’s stories - let us know who you would like an update from!
Photo by: Daniel Moody Photography
I love that our November issue is also our adoption issue. It is only fitting that, in the month that we focus on all that we are thankful for, we feature families who make a big difference in th lives of others. Through adoption, these families make a huge difference in the life of a child (or children) and, in turn, are made better because of the love that they decide to share. Every year I look forward to each and every emailed adoption story that I receive, because I know it is going to not only be inspiring, but full of true love and sacrifice.
through foster care or adoption. Also, inside this issue you will find our annual Dilly Dally’s Gift Guide. I cannot believe it is already time to start thinking about Christmas shopping, but it is, and Dilly Dally’s always has me covered. Being able to walk in, find everything on your child’s wish list, and then walk out with beautifully wrapped gifts ready to go under the tree is a godsend. When the holiday season is in full swing. my little trio of littles are out and about in crowded stores, or at many of the wonderful events going on in the area, and most of the time we look like a miniature traveling circus. My ducklings are definitely never all in a row, but usually running ahead in the store or filling their arms with items they just can’t leave without. I am sure that if the Super Nanny was in town she would have handed me her card by now.
This month’s cover models have their own special tale: “After 10 years of endlessly trying to get pregnant, the Lord had a different plan for our family! Blessings unfold when you least expect them. He truly blessed us when we adopted our firstborn. God has a sense of humor too… six months later, without trying, we found out I was pregnant with our miracle son! Our life is full with the blessing of both of them. God has a plan, you just have to let Him take In the spirit of the season, on December control.” -Judy Kay Krein 3rd, Peekaboo is excited to partner with Princess Party Palace to bring kids across No matter how a family was created, I Northwest Arkansas a Princess Winter am always in awe of how much beauty Wonderland, where kids can dance with exists in their uniqueness. I especially princesses to the music of a live dj, create love when I see a family who fully understands that though their hands are a craft, enjoy story time, and even have hot cocoa and cookies. full, there is still room in their hearts-To find out more go to www.facebook. enough to choose to add to their family com/PrincessPartyPalaceNWA for all the details! 14 November 2016
V Our Journey
B Y: L A D O N N A H U M P H R E Y
The need was huge. We were overwhelmed and scared. So we prayed, and prayed... and prayed some more.
A
s I think about the past two years, I realize that one word defines our journey: Faith.
You see, when we started down the path of foster care, we knew we wanted to help make a difference in the lives of children in Northwest Arkansas. We believed that we could offer a safe home, love, and all of the necessary ingredients to help a child through a difficult time. We had no intentions to adopt – we were solely focused on the journey of foster care. We had it all figured out. In fact (and I laugh to myself as I think about this now), we were certain that we would only foster school-age children. We didn’t think we could handle the demands that came with smaller children. We had a focused intention on what our journey as foster parents would look like.
And so it began. We went through our training with The CALL of NWA. We attended CPR classes. We were finger printed by DHS. We did everything that was required to open as a foster home. Our home was approved in March, and we began receiving phone calls almost immediately. Even though we had been trained and we thought we 16 November 2016
were mentally prepared for what the journey ahead would be like, it was immediately clear that our perceptions were all wrong. We learned that the need for foster homes was great.We learned that children of all ages needed a home. And we learned that we most certainly did not have it all figured out. As the calls started pouring in from case workers looking to place children in our home, our hearts broke. The need was huge. We were overwhelmed and scared. So we prayed, and prayed... and prayed some more. Our first placement came to us in late March. He wasn’t school age. In fact, he was only 3 years old. We were already breaking our own “rules”… but it was so worth it when we fell in love with this little guy. We learned so much about ourselves during those three weeks he was in our home. We realized we had it all wrong. We weren’t going to change the kids in the foster care system... they were going to change us! We fought hard for this first placement to reunite with his family, and, luckily, he had a happy ending. He was able to go home. It was a joyous reunion! We were so very happy for him and yet, so very sad
at the same time. Our hearts and home felt a little emptier when he left. We decided as a family not to take another placement for a while, because we needed time to regroup. As a family, we had already been drastically changed (for the better) in our foster care journey. There are so many emotions involved with foster care… happiness, sadness, anger, fear… and our entire family was experiencing all of them at once. We talked through all the reasons we wanted to take a break for a few weeks, or even months, and we felt good about that decision… right up until the afternoon when I received a call to take an 18-month-old little girl. I will never forget that afternoon. I was at work when the phone rang. The case worker shared the story of this little girl and, while my heart broke for her, I assured the case worker that we were not prepared to take such a little one into our home. After all, it had been years since I had babies in my house! I hung up the phone, and immediately knew I made the wrong decision. The Holy Spirit nudged me ever so gently and said, “Take this little one into your home.” My co-worker, who had overhead the conversation, looked at me and said, “I think you are supposed to take that little girl.” I immediately called my husband and, as we talked it over, we both kept repeating all the reasons we were not able to take this placement. We simply
Turn the page ...
The Holy Spirit nudged me ever so gently and said, “Take this little one into your home.” ...it became clear we were to say yes.
V
Our Journey
weren’t able to handle a baby. However, as we discussed it more and more, it became clear we were supposed to-and were going to-say yes. I hung up with my husband and called the case worker back, but her number was busy. I called again. It was busy. I called again. And again… and again. After 43 attempts, she finally picked up. I said, “Hi, you called me earlier about an 18-month-old baby girl. Did you find a placement for her?” With a very sad tone, the case worker informed me that she could not find placement anywhere for this little angel. I blurted out, “We will take her! Please, bring her to us.” That one act of faith changed all of our lives forever. Our journey began that night when we met this sweet red-headed angel. Her story was hard to hear., as she had experienced so much heartache already in her short life. She came to us dirty, and without suitable clothing. She could not sit up, and she could barely walk, clutching a sippy cup and a dirty bear that was almost as big as she was. She cried and whined and stared at me, while I stared back. My heart screamed, “Lord, I can’t do this. She’s so small. She’s so broken. I don’t know what to do!” I immediately ran to purchase diapers, clothing, toys and a bottle. For some reason I just knew she needed a bottle. I was right. When she saw that bottle, she immediately threw down her sippy cup and stared into my eyes. She greedily drank the contents of the bottle, and, while she never smiled, her gaze never left mine. She just stared at me but I knew that was her way of saying “thank you.”
Later that evening, we ran her a warm bath and, as we gently placed her in the tub, her eyes lit up and she smiled at me. My heart melted, and I fell in love with my sweet baby girl that night. We promised her that we would do everything in our power to help her. I would like to tell you that the rest of the story is easy, but it isn’t. It was messy and hard. We fought hard as a family to heal this broken little girl. We took her to specialists, and we put her in every therapy she needed to heal her broken body and mind. We also fought hard to help her reunite with her biological family. We put our heart and soul into helping this fragile little angel find hope and healing. She changed so much during the 18 months she was in foster care. She began to sit up, walk confidently and talk. She grew and gained weight. She started to smile. Her transformation has been a hard-earned journey – but she did it. She beat the odds and she is finding hope and healing. Did her story have a happy ending? I think so. Because, after 18 months in foster care, we adopted this sweet baby girl. In fact, as I write this, she’s running around my house, singing “Let it Go” and insisting that she is Elsa from the movie “Frozen.” Every few minutes she pokes her head to ask me, “Mommy, are you my best friend?” When I assure her that I am her best friend, she runs off again, singing, content that she is loved and safe. Was it a perfect ending? That’s not for me to decide. But I do believe this: A child born to another woman calls me “Mommy.” The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me. I’ve had so many people stop and tell me that we saved this little girl or that we changed her life, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. She changed us. One phone call. One step of faith. One incredible journey. Where do we go from here? That’s the best part! Our journey isn’t over. We are in the process of adopting a sibling group, and we anticipate that adoption will be final in early 2017. If you are considering foster care or adoption, I hope our story encourages you to step out in faith. You just never know where YOUR journey will take you. I can promise you this: It will not be easy, but it will be worth it!
www.peekaboonwa.com
! S E K A OU I I Will and Sarah Storms. We were having the best photo session with Will and Sarah. Such sweet moments of them walking through a beautiful field and then… bam! Sarah face plants in the grass. She was fine, but I did find it humorous that I got the face plant photo. Photo by: Main Street Studios. www.mainstreetstudios.net
The Hewins Family Photo by Tricia Griffith
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Photos by: Daniel Moody Photography
If you would like to be a part of the December Outtakes, email editor@peekaboonwa.com with the final shot, the fun outtake, and photographer’s name. Have great shots on your camera or phone? We want to see those, too!
World
T H E
C E N T E R
O F
O U R
BY: MANDY CAMPBELL
On May 10, 2001, my boyfriend of almost one year got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I was a junior in high school – he had graduated the May before and was already out in the work field. We started planning our wedding, which would happen seven days after I graduated high school. With plans of a wedding came dreams of our life together, which included babies. We wanted to start a family pretty quickly, even though everyone warned us we should wait and enjoy life with just the two of us for a while. We, however, had known since the day we met that we wanted nothing more than to be parents. Fast forward one year, and on May 31, 2002, we were married in a beautiful outdoor ceremony with all our family and friends. As soon as we were married, I had visions of what our nursery would look like, what we would name our unborn children and how I would tell my husband that I was pregnant. As we were getting ready to celebrate our one year anniversary, however, we were both surprised that I wasn’t pregnant yet. All the doctors told us to give it little more time. After all, we were only 21. The whole month of May, I researched infertility and was starting to fear the worst when I decided that we should pursue adoption. I met my husband at the door one night as he walked in from a day at work and told him, “We have to adopt!” Of course, he thought I was crazy, but I had a fire down deep in my soul that was telling me we had to do this... and we had to do it now. I had never been impacted by adoption, or ever really knew anything about it.... I just knew that I wasn’t getting pregnant, and I needed to turn to adoption now, not later. After talking to my husband, I did some research and found out that we weren’t even legally able to adopt in our home state. At the time, you had to be 21 and married for at least three years. Instead of getting upset or down about this I just said, “That’s okay, we will just go to another state.” I decided to do a little research at the local 22 November 2016
library and online, and I came across a template for a “Dear Birth Mother” letter. I went ahead and typed one up for us that included family pictures, how important holidays are to us, and how much we couldn’t wait to become parents. A couple of weeks later, we decided to tell our families that we were hoping to adopt. We got mixed responses--mostly the “You guys are too young, just enjoy life and babies will come” one. As we chugged along with research, I also emailed everyone we knew and told them we were hoping to adopt. This was before social media had exploded, so email and phone calls were the only way to go. Much to our surprise, one month later we received a call about a birth mother that wanted to place with us. That call would make us parents to a beautiful baby girl that would be born in less than 30 days. Talk about a crash course in adoption! We had a rushed home study, and had our fingerprints and FBI background checks done. Our dream of becoming parents was coming true, and with that came the chaos of getting ready for a baby in 30 days. As we were getting the nursery ready, it was surreal. I packed the diaper bag and repacked it at least 25 times. I had no idea what all we would need to take care of a newborn in a hotel, so I just took everything. I researched adoption in any spare time I had and prayed for the best. After all, I was 21 years old and getting ready to drive halfway across the U.S. to meet my daughter. In the midst of all the rushing, we had mixed reactions from family and friends. We even had one friend tell us they knew a couple in their church that had been trying to adopt for over two years, and we should pass the birth mother information on
to them because they were older and deserved the baby more than us. In spite of that, we knew this was our baby girl, and continued with everything we needed to do before her birth mother called and said it was time. On August 6, 2003, just three months after we celebrated our one-year anniversary, we packed our car down and headed on our journey. We were in New Mexico when we got the call that she had been born. I remember the nurse telling us how she had beautiful skin and hair. We heard that her birthmother was doing great, and all we wanted to do was drive faster to get to the hospital. The most beautiful baby girl was born that day, and her amazing birth mother placed her in our arms when she was 18 hours old. We fell in love with her at first sight, and she has been the center of our world since. I will never forget the moment the nurse handed her to me, I sunk down in the chair and time stood still: I was a mother. I was everything I ever wanted to be. As we spent our first week as a family of three in the local Holiday Inn Express, we were in awe of this beautiful child that was placed with us. We spent our days waiting for the ICPC to clear by loving on our newborn baby girl, getting many questions as to why in the world we were staying in a hotel with a 3-day-old infant, and emailing pictures back to
our family in Oklahoma. Once we got the call that we were cleared to leave, we packed up and couldn’t wait to get home. As we turned on our road for the first time as a family of three I saw balloons, signs and people standing outside, just waiting to get their hands on the baby girl they had all prayed for. We settled into life back home and waited for the call to tell us when we would return to finalize her adoption. On the day she turned 9 months old, she officially became our child. I walked into that court room with so much love in my heart for her that I couldn’t hold the tears back as we made it official. Standing next to the judge with our lawyer to take pictures is one of my favorite memories! Watching her grow up has been the most beautiful experience of my life, and I am blessed by not only her, but her birth mother who chose us. Over the last thirteen years, we became adoption advocates, met several lifelong friends through adoption, and continue to share our story. We love to give people hope and tell them that it’s okay to adopt as a young couple – we are proof that it happens. We celebrate our daughter’s “gotcha day” every year with a dinner in her honor and, at 13 years old, she is a lover of adoption herself, and has several friends she has made due to adoption. In the end we became a family just the way we were supposed to and when we supposed to. Adoption completed our family!
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My
Patchwork
Heart
by: Rachel Hamm
I was there for the ultra-sound, and I had input on his name, but Blake was not born my son. Instead, he was born my nephew. My brother Mike and his fiance – we’ll call her “Emma”– were homeless seven months into Emma’s pregnancy, and she hadn’t had any prenatal care at all. I took Mike and Emma into my home and scrambled to help them get prepared for their new baby. Of course, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. The day Blake was born was both amazing and a little painful. After all, this wasn’t my baby, and I knew it wasn’t likely I would ever be able to have a child of my own. But, I was contributing – busy working full time, trying to help keep Mike and Emma on track and helping my terminally ill grandfather live out the remainder of his days in his own home. I didn’t have time to think about having a family of my own. Five weeks into having Blake home, my grandfather was feeling pretty good, and I could tell Blake’s parents really needed some sleep. I offered to keep Blake and lend them my car so they could watch a movie and go back to my house for a good night’s sleep. At 8 a.m. the next day, however, I got the call that Mike and Emma had been arrested in a town two hours away, and that my car was impounded. The officer told me that Mike and Emma were going to serve at least three months in jail for drug-related charges. Armed with five diapers and a total of eight hours of baby experience, I set out to fix the mess we found ourselves in. I didn’t know on that day that I would end up adopting Blake, only that I needed to protect him... that he needed me. Caring for both Blake and my grandfather that first month was the hardest experience of my life. Honestly, I think 28 November 2016 my grandfather hung on longer
so I wouldn’t have to be alone. I still remember the moment he died... I was putting his socks on, and he said, “I just can’t do it anymore, hon,” and he was gone. I held Blake close to me at the funeral, and was thankful for how busy I was afterwards. Thankfully, I didn’t have much time to break down from missing my favorite grandparent–I had that sweet boy to love. After Blake’s birth parents were released from jail, they continued to make poor life choices. Something that I hope they understand someday is that I struggled (and still do) with my decision to pursue guardianship and adoption. I love my brother immensely, and knew that losing Blake would devastate them both, but I had to put Blake first. Once the permanent guardianship was finalized, I finally had the chance to relax a little and really enjoy being a parent to Blake. I put together new nursery furniture, read baby books, had baby pictures taken and spent hundreds on framed photos to put all over the walls. My entire world became about Blake, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way! In 2010, I met Andy. He was so smart, funny and kind, and, best of all, he absolutely adored Blake. They became buddies instantly! In March of 2011,
with Blake as our ring-bearer, Andy and I were married. Andy came with an army of loud, loving, and kind family that took to Blake and I as if we’d always been part of their own. In August of 2011, my adoption of Blake was finalized. My father and stepmother had moved from Oregon to Arkansas during this time period, so I had my own family close as well. One year after our marriage, Andy adopted Blake as well, to our mutual joy.
that, even if we weren’t able to adopt right away, we would be opening our home up to kids who needed us. Andy and I started the approval process and began taking foster care classes. Very few people in our lives understood why we were choosing this route. Our family expressed concerns about Blake’s well-being, and Andy and I had similar concerns. To mitigate some of this risk, we agreed to only take kids who were younger than Blake. In my excitement at finally having our
Andy and I tried several methods to get pregnant without success. Sooner or later, I had to accept that my body would never be able to maintain a pregnancy. After decades of pain, I made the decision to stop hoping for my own baby and have the hysterectomy I desperately needed. Not one to wallow long, though, I was ready to begin pursuing adopting another child shortly after I healed. The options seemed impossible. Private adoption would mean huge expenses for our family, and a long wait, with immense risk for disappointment. Foster care, on the other hand, would mean
home open and getting our first call for placement, though, I agreed to take a child who was two years older than Blake: a 7-year-old girl. The girl who I picked up was actually 8, and had complex emotional needs that we weren’t able to handle. All foster children come to you with special emotional needs--it’s an inherent part of being pulled from their home--but this little girl’s needs were far beyond that. It was such a difficult placement, and I wasn’t sure we’d be strong enough to face a second.
Turn the page ...
We are their forever family and they are ours. Z
Z
A few weeks after our first placement left for a relative’s home, we got our second call. Keep in mind, most of these calls we got were in the middle of the night. The investigators and caseworkers do their very best to get information on the children they pull from a home, but their core source of information is the parent. So, when we got the call for “Salvador,” the caseworker gave us what information she had. We knew he was a boy and that he was 4. What we didn’t know was his real name, or that he didn’t speak any English. We downloaded a translation app onto my phone and called Aunt Nichole to come translate when she could. Salvador was with us for a month before being placed with a relative. Those were some of our tougher times. After that, the kiddos they placed with us were much better fits for our home. We had a string of sweet kiddos that stole my heart each and every time. Oddly enough, one of my biggest heartbreaks was over a sibling group of two little girls who were only with us for two days. We had twins at one point that wore me out, but I still cried my heart out the night they left us. We were not set up to be a ‘special needs’ home, but sometimes kids come into care and their special needs have yet to be identified. That was the case with Goose. Goose came to us in the middle of the night and was completely silent, like most of the kiddos were for the first day. I fed her a snack, gave her a bath, washed the dirt from under her finger nails and the mats from her hair then tucked her into bed. The thing I noticed right away was that not only did Goose not communicate, but she didn’t know how to play. After a lot of testing, Goose was put into play, occupational and speech therapy appointments that added up to nine times a week. After having Goose for several months, I received a call for placement of a newborn boy. I drove to pick him up only to find out that they had made a mistake in telling me they were going to place him with us. However, they said they just had a 9-month-old girl come in who needed placement. The moment I saw Katie, I fell in love with her sweet little face. We were told right from the start that Katie would be placed with family out-of-state very soon, so we chose to just enjoy her while we had her. After Goose had been in our home for a year and a half, DCFS chose to place her with family outof-state as well. I keep a picture of Goose in my 30 November 2016
closet so that I can look at her sweet face in private, because it would hurt too much to have her photo on a wall where I could see it all the time. “A foster parent’s heart is a patchwork.” I read that somewhere and it rings true for me. My heart has been broken and stitched back together over and over, but I wouldn’t take any of it back. Right after Goose left our home, we found out that Katie’s out-of-state placement had fallen through. Katie’s little brother, Elliot, was born not long after, so Andy and I drove to the hospital. The hospital was concerned about security, so we met Elliot in a utility closet, but I didn’t care. He was the smallest baby I had ever seen, weighing less than 5 pounds. He was so small that the newborn clothes I’d brought for him completely swallowed him, so we brought him home in borrowed clothes from the NICU. There were many times we were told that Katie and Elliot would be placed outside our home. We were told this so often that I broke down crying and shaking during our adoption hearing. I couldn’t believe we were actually taking them home as our children. I couldn’t believe they were really ours, forever. Today, we are their forever family, and they are ours. Each of my children has a special box. These boxes contain pictures of them with their birth parents, letters from their birth parents, and the clothes they came home in. Their birth parents are part of their story. Their birth parents love them, and I plan on making sure they know it. At this point in their stories, Katie and Elliot’s birth parents are still fighting to correct their lives. Katie’s dad is on the right path, and I know he can make it. Blake’s birth mother had another child, and eventually got her life in order. She’s one of the hardest working, most determined women I’ve ever known, and I’m so proud of her. Sadly, my brother died several years back, but I see him in my son every day. I love you, Mike... thank you for Blake, the most beautiful gift.
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Season Opening Saturday, November 19 9 a.m. to Sundown (Closed on Mondays)
Wonderland Tree Farm is a “choose and cut� tree farm with over 30 acres of trees growing on the property. They offer families an opportunity to make memories as they enjoy a day together while picking out their fresh cut tree.
Owners Martin and Jill Babb, previously from Omaha, Arkansas, owned and operated a Christmas tree farm for many years. After relocating to NWA, they began Wonderland Tree Farm right away.
As families arrive on the farm, they are greeted with Christmas music and the smell of fresh pines. The family then decides whether to jump aboard the complimentary hayride to the fields, or set out on foot pushing a tree cart to haul their fresh cut tree back up to the tree corral area for shaking and netting. Wonderland does their best to involve the children in this process, and have even been known to net a couple of kids just for the fun of it! After the tree has been found, families are welcome to browse the gift shop where they will find a selection of Christmas ornaments, tree supplies, keepsakes, and, of course, Christmas cookies, and hot chocolate.
2015 was the first year Wonderland Christmas Tree Farm opened with trees for sale. Now, local Northwest Arkansas families can experience the fun of making lasting memories and new traditions while picking out their fresh cut tree! Together they have 4 married children and 15 grandchildren. They spend most of their time with their family. It is their hope that this will be a place where families from all over NWA will come together making memories and traditions to pass along.
For more information about the farm, you can find us at wonderlandtreefarm.com, or on FB at Wonderland Tree Farm also offers nursery quality, Wonderland Christmas Tree Farm. pre-cut, Fraser Fir trees that have been trucked in Regular Hours: straight from a farm in North Carolina, as well Monday - Friday 2 p.m. to sundown as decorated wreaths and greenery arrangements Saturday 9 a.m. to sundown here on the farm. Sunday: 12 p.m. to sundown 34 November 2016
by: Heidi Nance
by: Heidi Nance
Meet the Nance Family A
s I walked through the doors of Gentry Public Schools that morning, little did I know that my life would never be the same, and there would be no turning back. My eyes instantly made contact with an adorable little kindergartener who was sitting on the steps, just begging for someone to talk to him. As I sat and talked to this cute little boy, something inside of me just melted. He needed me that morning, I didn’t know at the time why, nor did I question it. I just sat and listened to this little boy tell me with his fun and exciting stories. By lunch, I had discovered that he was in foster care and was living with a family that my husband and I had known for years. On my lunch break ,I called my husband and told him I had met the most incredible child, and my heart was telling me he was meant to be our son. Expecting my husband to tell me I had lost my mind, I waited for his response. He floored me and told me he couldn’t wait to meet him. I knew at that moment that I was meant to be Matthew’s forever mommy. Jonathan and I met with Matthew’s current foster family in order to express our desire to get to know him on a deeper level and take the steps necessary to provide him with his forever home. Within a week, my husband and I were signed up for foster parent training classes and began visits with Matthew to start the transitioning process from a 36 November 2016
foster home to his forever home. On Halloween night, 2005, Jonathan and I introduced Matthew to our extended family and informed them of our desire to adopt him. We received unbelievable support from both sides of our extended families. Matthew moved into our home permanently on December 9, 2005. Ten short days later, we took a family ski trip to Colorado to welcome Matthew into our family and give him the opportunity to bond with extended family. However, Matthew’s adoption process was not be as quick as we thought it would be. A few months after moving Matthew into our home, we found out we were pregnant with our first biological child. We were not concerned about this, as we knew we had a huge support system and would have Matthew’s adoption finalized within six months of him moving into our home. Not the case. With delays in paperwork, trying to find court dates, and making sure all things were legally in place, we finally adopted Matthew 2.5 years after moving him into our home. Matthew legally became a Nance on July 19, 2007. Fast forward eight years. After years of trying to extend our family, countless fertility treatments, and miscarriages, Jonathan and I decided we were ready to once again begin the journey of looking for a child who needed a forever home. I worked at Gentry Early Learning Academy as the lead
teacher, and loved working with the early learners. Many times during my lunch break I would spend my time in the infant room, rocking the babies. As I went in to spend my break playing with the babies, I layed eyes on the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen. My breath was taken away when I learned she was a foster child. Tears instantly filled my eyes and I had to leave to call my husband and tell him God had started our process. Over the next couple of months, Jonathan and I went through the process of reopening our home for foster care/adoption. The day my husband met Ravyn, I knew he was meant to be her daddy. Ravyn was born with her intestines on the outside of her body and spent the first 4 1/2 months of her life in the hospital. Our hopes and dreams were crushed the day we learned Ravyn would not be a part of our family. Two months later, our phone rang, and we could have never prepared ourselves for what we were about to be asked. On the other end of the line was a caseworker looking for a foster placement for identical twin girls. I wanted to say yes instantly, as I had always dreamed of (and given Jonathan a hard time about) how amazing it would be if God would bless us with twins. He agreed to meet the girls, but didn’t want to promise me anything, as our hearts were still broken over Ravyn. Three days later, we drove to Lowell and met Kamry and Carly for the first time. I was so nervous, and Jonathan didn’t know what to think. We loved their current foster family and hit it off with them right from the start. We also met the twins’ biological siblings, who wanted to meet us and ask us questions to be sure the girls would be placed in a loving and caring foster home. We left after a two hour visit and received a phone call the next day asking us if we would consider taking the twins as their foster parents. We decided to take the leap and agreed to foster the twins for however long God chose for us to have them. There was a small hope in our hearts that Ravyn would one day be back in our lives, but for the time we decided to follow God’s apparent plan. Less than a month after moving the twins into our home, Ravyn returned to foster care and we were faced with the biggest decision of our entire lives. We had fallen head over hills in love with the twins, and now our Ravyn was back, and if we took her in we would have three 2-year-old girls under one roof. Could we do it? We didn’t know, but we did know we had to try. Three months later, we had three little girls under our roof. At first, things were so hard. The twins had extensive health
problems, and we were at the doctor with them on an average of 8 to 10 days a month. We made several trips to Little Rock Children’s Hospital and Mercy Children’s Hospital in Kansas City, visiting specialists and having surgeries, as well as several local hospital stays. Over the next several months, we continued to foster all three girls, just waiting to see what our future held. Was this journey with these girls going to be for a short period of time, or would we be a forever family? The waiting is hard, but all you can do is love and love like no other through the foster
care/adoption journey. A couple of months after moving all three girls into our home, Jonathan and I found out we were expecting our second biological child. All we can say is, God’s plans are so much bigger and obviously funnier than anything we could have ever imagined. At last, our path was clear: God intended for us to prepare and offer a forever home and family to all three girls. Adoption dates were set for July of 2016. On July 12, 2016, our family officially adopted Ravyn Blaze BriAnn Nance, and on July 21, 2016, we officially became the parents of Carly Jo KayBri and Kamry Dean BriKay Nance. We celebrated our new family by hosting an adoption bash for our family, friends, and community who were our support system during this journey. We enjoyed a huge backyard BBQ, swimming, sno-cones, s’mores, and ended the night with fireworks. Looking down the road, we are excited to move our large family of eight into our new house that we have built ourselves. We have spent the last year building a home for our family and will be moving into it right before Thanksgiving. As for the future, we are not sure what it holds, but we do know that we will continue to trust God’s plan for our family. We will continue to love and keep the faith, which has sustained us on our journey.
Very soon (and maybe you already have) we are going to vote for a new leader of our nation. It’s one of the great and grand things about being a United States citizen. It’s a choice that we should embrace and enjoy; unlike trying to choose one of the 70 billion cold medicine options at the local Walmart (come on guys, really?)
This time around, it seems that most of you feel the candidates are very polarizing. We’re not looking at a lot of apparent gray area here, folks. Most people have outstandingly clear opinions on their guy/gal; and also very outstandingly clear opinions on the other guy/gal. I get it: it’s big deal. What I don’t get is how you can tell anyone they are “wrong” based on who they vote for. I mean, it’s a choice. You can’t really tell someone their selection is wrong. Perhaps down the road you could argue that their option didn’t work out very well for us
38 November 2016
(let’s hope not), but telling someone preemptively they are wrong seems, well... wrong. There’s another element of life here in the NWA that appears to be nearly as polarizing as the Presidential election, and is likely far more personal for most of us: School selection. Here in NWA, we are blessed to have a myriad of scholastic choices. Not to sound like a grumpy old man, but back in my day there really weren’t any options. For me, the same goofballs that were
sitting criss-cross applesauce on the floor with me in kindergarten walked across the stage with me to get our high school diplomas. Today, that’s often not so. There are public schools, and charter schools, and private schools, and Montessori schools, and probably other types that I’m forgetting or don’t know about because there are so many choices (home school, too--forgot that one). The creation of these options, along with the general size of the area school districts has led, much like the population, to a more transient student environment. My kids have been in and out of a few of these educational options, and the experience they’ve had is nothing but positive. Okay, not perfect, but definitely positive. If we had to do it over again, I’m unsure if we would change anything. Unlike the previously discussed cold medicine options, or the sheer number of toilet paper choices (another odd area for abundant variety), the number of scholastic selections has been a good thing. Each learning environment gave our children an experience they might not have been able to enjoy had they stayed in one school, or type of school, for their entire educational career. However, much like the pending political election, I’ve seen much backlash upon those who exercise their right to choose. Far too often I’ve watched and heard parents ridicule others for their selection. “Why on Earth would you send your child there?!?”, “How could you leave our school?!?” are a few of the comments often heard. Friendships have been fractured or lost, all due to personal choice. I can understand this sort of behavior if we are talking about this Presidential election. I mean, none of us would be remotely surprised if these two ended up in a MMA cage match, and that type of passion has ignited voters far beyond their normal level of engagement. But when we’re talking about schools, we’re discussing parents making what they feel, hope and pray is the right scholastic choice for their student to learn, grow and succeed. I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, and I know very little about educational processes (and even less about politics), but how could anyone fault someone else for making a decision for the future of their child? Please understand: this article is not intended to complain or whine about my personal experience. We’ve been in three different types of educational institutions in the last three years, and I think they are all rockin’ awesome. So, why did we make a change? Because sometimes, like with your job,
you need to change to grow. Look at all those wild and wacky Walmartians led by the very talented and intelligent Doug McMillon (yes, I also work for a supplier, and no, I’m not sucking up). Ask Doug if he ever changed positions to grow, learn and advance his career. I’ll answer for him: “Yup”. The most amazing people I’ve found when dealing with school transition are teachers, which is odd, because they have skin in the game and could easily take change personally. However, all educators I have encountered want students to succeed, period. Are some of them bummed when kids leave? Sure. Are some of them relieved? Probably. But, I’ve found the teachers that students leave behind have nothing but best wishes for them on their next journey, and that the new teachers will do all they can to help the transplanted child succeed. So, as we make our selection for President and gain even more scholastic selections (more new schools will be coming online next year, I’m sure), I urge you to respect other’s choices and hope that they respect yours. More importantly, aim to inspire all children to maximize their learning experience-you never know, one day, you might be voting for one of them.
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CALENDAR • 2016
november
WEEKLY EVENTS: Tuesday:
Paint and Play at Imagine Studios Every Tuesday at 1 p.m. Fayetteville location
Tuesday ‘Til 8 @ Rogers Historical Museum Every Tuesday from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.
During our evening hours on Tuesday, enjoy a different family activity each week. Themes: Ice Cream & Old Fashioned Games, 3D Buildings, Pinwheels, and Downtown Walking Tour.
Double Punch at Pigtails and Crewcuts all Day Long!
Wednesday:
Friday, November 4 First Friday Downtown Bentonville 11am to 8pm The Bentonville Square is transformed into the one and only Toyland with live music & entertainment, outstanding food options and, of course, tons of toys to try! Sponsored by Disney.
Saturday, November 5 Gravette Renaissance Family Festival 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Old Town City Park Jousting, battling, petting zoo, arts and crafts, food vendor, comedy team, dancing, bards/storytelling, royalty...so much more! $5 adults, kids free. Princess Winter Wonderland Brunch 9:30 a.m. - 11 a.m. Bentonville Trike Theatre Come dressed as a princess and join Elsa & Anna for brunch, story time, photos and sing-a-long.
Paint and Play at Imagine Studios Every Wednesday at 11 a.m.
Sunday, November 6
Little Sprouts at Botanical Gardens of the Ozarks 9:30 a.m. & 10:15 a.m.
Independent Consultant Gift Expo 2016 28 Springs, Siloam Springs 1-5pm In this holiday open house, independent consultants sell their items in more of a storefront setting.
Family Day at Pigtails and Crewcuts
Thursday, November 10
Priceless Nights 4-7:30 p.m. Amazeum
15th Annual Van Buren Veteran’s Day Parade Historic Main Street, Van Buren 6:30 p.m. - 8 p.m. Parade to honor veterans. Free admission.
Rogers location
https://bgozarks.org/event/little-sprouts-3 Little Sporuts is a weekly botanically-themed program for pre-schooolers. Stories, songs, crafts and activities! Buy one haircut and get $2 off each cut for the rest of the family!
These pay-as-you-wish evenings allow guests to make a donation to the Amazeum in lieu of admission.
LIBRARY STORY TIMES:
Bentonville Public Library: bentonvillelibrary.org Fayetteville Public Library: faylib.org Springdale Public Library: springdalelibrary.org Rogers Public Library: rogerspubliclibrary.org Siloam Springs Library: siloamsprings.com
42 November 2016
Saturday, November 12 Dads & Donuts at Imagine Studios Fayetteville and Rogers Locations 10 a.m. For dads and kids of all ages! Paint a donut bank and a coffee mug! Museum Storytime with Miss Sarah 10am: “Storytime with Miss Sarah” at the Museum of Native
American History. Museum storytimes are geared towards preschoolers, but great for all ages. Each month’s storytime will feature a Native American folk tale, stories of furry creatures and activities! Free and open to the public. The Museum of Native American History is located at 202 SW ‘O’ Street, Bentonville
Thursday, November 17
Turkey Trot 5K Run 8 a.m. Siloam Springs Parks and Recreation will host the Turkey Trot 5K Run and Fun Run on November 19th at 8:00 AM. Several age divisions are available for the 5K; ages 12 and under to 65 and over for both male and female. Metals will be awarded to 1st, 2nd, and 3rd places. The first 100 registered for the 5K will receive a t-shirt. Free one-mile fun run.
Explore the Gingerbread Man Bentonville Public Library 10:30 a.m. - 11 a.m. Special guests from Trike Theatre will help children explore the elements of children’s classic “The Gingerbread Man” through acting techniques. Registration is not required for this event.
Ice Rink Opens Lawrence Plaza, Bentonville 12 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. The Bentonville Ice Rink in Lawrence Plaza opens with a lot of ice-cold fun!
Friday, November 18
Handprint Workshop at Imagine Studios Fayetteville and Rogers Locations 2 p.m.
Lights Of The Ozarks Each evening from 5 p.m. to 1 a.m Fayetteville Historic Square Enjoy the amazing winter wonderland of lights on the Downtown Square. The lights illuminate the square each evening from 5 p.m. to 1 a.m. Nightly carriages and pony rides, fresh hot chocolate, and festive holiday music make the Lights of the Ozarks an event that cannot be missed. The romantic and breathtaking display of a half-million twinkling lights is cherished by the locals and visitors alike that stroll or drive through the Lights of the Ozarks each year.
Saturday, November 19 Lighting of the Bentonville Square Bentonville Sqaure 6 p.m. - 8 p.m. This marks the beginning of the holiday season. Wrap up warm and come celebrate with other families to enjoy live music, steaming hot chocolate and the beautiful lights. Winter Market in Bentonville Meteor Guitar Gallery 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Whether you are looking for some sweet treats to share or a special craft for a beloved family member, we promise you will be delighted.
Sunday, November 20
Monday, November 21 Holiday Camp 2016 Super Science NWA 10-3pm Bentonville Community Center www.super-sci.com A day of spectacular science learning.
Thursday, November 24 2016 NWA Turkey Trot 5K 1200 W. Walnut St., Rogers 9 a.m. - 11 a.m. Sheep Dog Impact Assistance’s 9th Annual NWA Turkey Trot 5K Charity Run, Wild Gobbler 5K, 1-Mile Fun Walk and Virtual 5K Run proceeds provide christmas gifts for the children of sheep dog families in need. In addition to the runs/walk, we will have concessions, bounce houses, face painting, sponsor giveaways, and much more. Fun for the entire family!
Friday, November 25 Canada’s Royal Winnipeg Ballet Production Of The Nutcracker Walton Arts Center
Versatility, technical excellence and a captivating style are the trademarks of Canada’s Royal Winnipeg Ballet - qualities that have garnered both critical and audience acclaim. Help us welcome them to Walton Arts Center for the first time as they present The Nutcracker, a sparkling holiday tradition with enchanting costumes, timeless storytelling and a brilliant score by Tchaikovsky. Relive Clara’s Christmas fantasy with familiar, endearing scenes and a few unique twists! Watch with delight as toys come to life, the Sugar Plum Fairy spreads her magic and the valiant Nutcracker helps Clara defeat the evil Mouse King. A holiday classic for the whole family! Holiday Drop & Shop at Imagine Studios 9 a.m. - 12 p.m. or 12 p.m. - 3 p.m. Fayetteville and Rogers Locations Drop the kids off at either location in Rogers or Fayetteville and let them paint and have fun while you finish up some Christmas shopping!
Saturday, November 26 Christmas Parade Of The Ozarks 100 East Emma Ave. Springdale 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. Christmas music, lights, candy, rodeo queens, and Christmas floats. Followed by Santa Claus himself as we celebrate the changing of the holidays from Thanksgiving to Christmas! Small Business Saturday Downtown Bentonville 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Support local businesses by shopping the downtown Bentonville stores this Saturday for all of your christmas shopping!
Sunday, November 27 Annual Holiday Open House Rogers Historical Museum 12:30-4pm Enjoy crafts, refreshments, and Christmas tree themed tours of the 1895 Hawkins House.
MANA
It’s the Happiest Brittany SadWhatley I was 15 when I found out I was pregnant, sometime in July 2005. My parents found out soon after when I accidentally slipped a note into their hands intended for the birth father. In this note, I explained my fears, concerns, and how abortion wasn’t an option for me. When I arrived home from school that day, my dad and step mom were both home sitting at the kitchen table. They asked me if I needed to tell them anything. I said no. They asked again, and I replied with the same answer. They then asked me directly if I was pregnant, and I remember laughing because it caught me so off guard. That night, we discussed options for what pregnancy looks like at 15. They expressed they did not want me to keep the baby, but rather place it up for adoption. I wasn’t open to this idea at all. I think when I found out I was pregnant, I had this storyline play out in my head of what it would look like. It was going to be a hard road but it was happy. Giving my baby over to strangers was not part of the story in my head. A few weeks after this initial conversation, my parents informed me that I would be moving to Virginia. I would be staying in a maternity home there until the baby was to be born in February. Adoption was the choice that was made for me. There would be no other discussion. I was not happy with the decision of adoption or being sent away. At the home in Virginia, they had many different classes on choosing to parent or choosing the adoption plan. When I knew there was no way I would be allowed to bring this baby home, I started looking through the “life books” made by the awaiting families to tell about their life. It’s so hard as an expectant mother to flip through those pages, see the pretty pictures, read though nice stories, and yet also knowing the weight of this decision. I had finally picked a family after days of searching. The next week, before meeting them, my father 46 November 2016
called to inform the home that he would be coming to get me. He had found a family for me to give my baby to, and I would not be returning back to the maternity home. I was devastated. Everything was out of my control, and I felt so hopeless. I met the adoptive family on my 16th birthday. Honestly I don’t remember much of that night. We looked through some of their family pictures and they shared some stories of their life. They seemed like nice, sweet, and loving people. I didn’t see them again until the birth of little “J”. I was induced in January 2006 to ensure their presence at the hospital. That day held the most deep -ooted sadness I have ever felt. She was a beautiful baby. I wasn’t allowed to hold her, but I was able to meet her finally that night. There were many fears from the adoptive family of me bonding with her and changing my mind, but they had no idea that my mind wasn’t allowed to be changed. Upon leaving the hospital a few days later, we all cried and prayed. I was able to kiss her on the head before they drove away with my baby and my heart. The weeks and months that followed are really all a blur. I was adjusting back at home, being homeschooled, and struggling with who I was now. I couldn’t see any of my old friends or have a social life, and that was really hard on me as a person, as well as a teenager. I was suffering, and another decision was made by them to send me away to a Christian boarding school for a year. I think they thought this would help me refocus. I left early the next morning after they broke the news. This time away was hard. I was away from family and everything I knew as home. I was the
oldest girl at the home, so trying to be a positive and encouraging light was a hard task amidst all of the emotions in my 17-year-old self. I ended up graduating from high school there in 2008 and attended college for a semester in Florida in 2009. I ran out of money, drive, and passion. I went to Texas to live with my mom. She was heavily addicted to prescription pills and alcohol, and that eventually turned to crystal meth. It was very hard going from such structure to her chaos. I lived with her for almost three years before working enough to save for a car and a place of my own. I then started to nanny on the side, and that quickly grew to full time. One of the families I was very close to moved to Fayetteville, and after begging me everyday for about a month, Fayetteville, Arkansas, was my new home. I have been here for the last four years now and I am so blessed. This was the first time in my life I’d been able to make decisions for myself. I found a wonderful church and such a sweet church family. I was able to work at a large church in Springdale for a few years, and I was able to finally see what the love and grace of Jesus can look like in your life. I was able to understand that everybody has a mess. Everyone can be forgiven. Everyone can have a new start. God has provided many people in NWA that allow me to be a part of their families, and I will always treasure them. I recently was able to share my story on a radio program in Colorado called Adoption Now. That interview sparked a conversation between my dad, stepmom and I that I know would not have happened otherwise. This was the first time in 10 years that we were able to sit down and discuss those events. There were tears and we were all able to be honest about feelings, where we were at then versus now, and where we ideally want to be. I truly believe we are all on a road to healing and to a true relationship, which is something I have been missing for a long time. My mom is currently in a rehab facility in Texas. I’m hoping this will be a true wake up call for her, and she can start living a clean life. “J” will be 11 in January. She’s in the 5th grade, and I am told she is brilliant. She just started playing violin and her parents say she has a natural gift with music. She loves Jesus and anything that sparkles, which makes my momma heart so proud. Her parents are the most amazing, generous, thoughtful, and most Jesus-loving people that I know. They have really gone above and beyond the closed adoption agreement to send me updates, pictures, and we have even had a few phone conversations. They didn’t have any idea of the events surrounding the adoption. It all happened so quickly, and we are really just this year learning about one another as people, rather than the birth
parent/adoptive parent relationship. This is the unexplainable happy... looking at a picture of her, but seeing my eyes or my grin in her. Seeing how happy she is with her family, and hearing sweet updates on her life makes it all so happy.
Adoption is really the happiest sad.
After much prayer and council, I am moving to Castle Rock, Colorado. I will be nannying part time and helping out with the Adoption Now program. I’m so excited for this next start, and I’m beyond grateful for my time here in NWA. So many of you are a forever part of my journey and I’m so blessed by that.
Adoption is messy and hard. It’s hard for birth parents and for adoptive parents. The stories that can come from “the messy” are so beautiful and Jesus written, and I’m so thankful for mine.
B�t Day Ev� Teresa Hudson
Our journey was a long one, but so worth it! My husband and I got married 13 years ago, and shortly after began working towards having a family. We were faced with infertility challenges and, yes, we did everything... from fertility drugs all the way up to four rounds of invitro. This happened over a 12 year period, where we faced disappointment after disappointment. We always wanted to have our own family, and for a long time never even considered adopting. We even went all the way to Las Vegas to meet with one of the top specialists in the country, before realizing that this may never happen. We had spent somewhere around $70,000, and no baby. To say that we were disappointed was an understatement. Then, we had a co-worker tell us that they had adopted through a program called “The CALL” which is through the Department of Human Services. We were unsure of this, but we had decided that this would be something that we could do and take the classes while we saved up the money to go through a private adoption company. The classes took a few months and, after going through the training, we realized that there are so many children that need good homes... and maybe this would be something that we could do. All the while, we tried not to get our hopes up. I worked with a young lady that had adopted a little girl, and one night she called us and stated that another lady that she was friends with had just taken in a little boy to foster. This friend of hers had already adopted his brother and sister, but she was not sure that they were going to be able to adopt
this little one to due to the fact that they had three children already. She asked me if we had our home open to fostering., and if I would mind if she gave this family our number. I told her to go ahead, but I really thought, “Okay, this is probably not going to be anything.” I called my husband and told him about the conversation, and we both agreed that it was sweet of her to think of us, but that we should not get our hopes up. We had just made an appointment with a private agency in Texas and were planning on traveling there the next week. A few days later, the lady with the new baby boy called me, and I was totally surprised. She had heard our story about not being able to have children and how much we had wanted a family. She, Miss Lori, said that she had heard that we had been through the training and asked if we would be interested in meeting him and maybe just doing some respite for their family. Respite is kind of like babysitting, but for foster children when the family needs to go out of town or just needs someone to watch the child for a few hours. She asked if we were open to just doing that for them, because they had been told to find their own respite care. My husband and I discussed it and thought it would be great practice for when we adopted. She asked if we would like to meet him and, of course, we said yes. Who does not want to meet a sweet new baby boy, after all? I can honestly say that it was love at first sight when we saw him. He was so perfect! But, we knew that we just wanted to help this family while we were waiting to meet the adoption company.
We did respite for “Baby J” for the first time the day after my birthday! We were so excited, and it was the best gift I could have gotten! He was 15 days old, and so tiny. I have to say that we were rookies and did not have a clue what to do. My husband joked at one point and asked if he came with an instruction manual. We probably drove 5 MPH all the way home. We kept him for the weekend, and believe you me, we never knew that we could learn so much in a weekend. Google was definitely our friend! Over the next couple of months we kept Baby J several times for Miss Lori and her family as they attended ball games and other activities. for their other children. To say that we loved it was an understatement. Miss Lori then told us that her and her husband had prayed about it and had decided that they were not going to adopt Baby J, and she stated that we should go to the court and request that he move into our care. We knew up front that this might not be permanent, and that his mother was in a Women’s Correctional Facility, but nonetheless we were happy to have him in our home. Miss Lori had explained the story of Baby J’s biological mother and how she had been in and out of prison for drugs, and the hard road that she had growing up as a child herself. We returned to court in January and found out that Baby J’s mother had been released from prison and that she was going to ask to be reunited with Baby J. I would be lying if I said that we were not disappointed, but we knew going in that this could be a possibility, and that it was only temporary. During the time that we had him, he had several medical issues that we had taken him from doctor to doctor for. So, to think that he might not be in our home anymore was heartbreaking, but we knew that we had to leave it in God’s hands. The biological mother was awarded visitation, so we began once a week taking him for visits with his mother and not knowing what might happen next. After a month, we went for the next court date and the biological mother stated that she felt, with his medical conditions, that she could not take care of him and stay clean. So, with a heavy heart, she signed away her rights. I will never forget that day and how she looked sitting there signing the paperwork. Even though we were screaming joy on the inside, my heart went out to her. I could only think about how much I commended her for putting her child’s welfare above that of herself. She had told Miss Lori that she did not want anyone to think that she was a bad person, and that is why she had not signed away her rights sooner. I will never forget what Miss Lori said to
her: “Thinking of him first makes you a mother!” I will never forget that day. When we walked out of the court room, Baby J’s biological mother walked out with us. She came over to us and stated that she had brought him a piggy bank, and asked if we would give it to him. She then hugged Miss Lori, shook my husband’s hand and said thank you. She turned to me and asked if she could give me a hug,, and if I was going to be Baby J’s mother, and I stated yes to both. She looked at me and said, “Thank you for taking care of my son.” I think at that moment I could have not felt more humbled and grateful for all that I had been given. So, on August 23rd my husband and I celebrated us, our 13th wedding anniversary, and then on August 24th, we celebrated our new family with an adoption party and asked that instead of gifts that people give to St. Jude’s Hospital. Our son raised over $1,500. Not only did we get a son, but I got a sister! Miss Lori and her family will forever be part of ours, as we have agreed to raise our children together so that they will always know each other. All I can say is that God does have a plan and we are forever grateful and honored to be raising this precious baby boy!
MOM IN T HE KNOW
{ } BY CHRISTY MARTIN / PHOTOS BY CHRISTY MARTIN PHOTOGRAPHY
C
AN’T MISS THIS NATURAL LANDMARK!”: Devil’s Den
If you’re looking for a GREAT place to camp that’s close to home, Devil’s Den is YOUR spot! The tent sites were well-maintained and easy to check-in. We were given hiking maps and got started right away! Although there were a few spots where our 3-year old needed our help walking, we ALL enjoyed the gorgeous views and unexpected water falls we discovered! The kids enjoyed walking through the beautiful streams and exploring the beauty of NW Arkansas!
a picnic lunch! Between the parking lot and the trails is a large pavilion that’s perfect for snacks before your adventure!
S S
ECRET OASIS”: Tanyard Creek Nature Trail (Bella Vista) Whether you’re crossing an old, wooden bridge with beautiful leaves falling down or taking a summer dip in a hidden pool at the base of a waterfall, Tanyard Creek Nature Trail is a MUST! There are several trails that are all perfect for families! Don’t forget
O MUCH TO EXPLORE!”: Downtown Bentonville Many families drop by downtown Bentonville for a quick ice cream, but have you ever taken a few hours to really explore all that downtown Bentonville has to offer families? That’s exactly what my family recently set out to do! We parked at the Bentonville library and enjoyed one of their free children’s crafts! We walked to
Sparks Cafe Soda Fountain for a cool treat. After looking for ‘Bentonville Rocks’ at the beautiful fountain in the heart of downtown, we ventured into 21c Museum to view their new art collections. The day ended at Crystal Bridges Art Museum where the kids participated in another free art project and we explored the beautiful trails outside the museum! What a great day of exploring and beauty...all in our backyard!
C
amping Made for Families: Roaring River (Missouri)
If you’re looking for a great, family-friendly camping destination, Roaring River will certainly exceed your expectations! Only a couple hours from NW Arkansas, it offers beautiful rivers, great fishing and clean camping grounds. The gift shop is a great place to stop, as well as the trout hatchery! Don’t miss the natural water slide down the road and some really great hikes for families! Christy Martin, with a camera in hand, always searching for fun and local adventures to experience with her family! http://christymartinphotography.com/blog/
www.peekaboonwa.com
2.
Once Upon a T ime Books
MoM in the Know
onceuponatimebooks.com
with Silvy Kehrli, Arkansas boy maker.
1.
Looking for high quality books at discount prices? Look no further than Once Upon a Time Books in Tontitown! The huge warehouse and retail store is filled with everything from childrens’ books to adult literature. Most books are only $1.50 for good used condition. What a great way to buy Christmas presents on a budget! Order online for the best selection and your books will be ready for pickup after 1pm the next day. Teachers also get an extra discount.
Arkansas & Missouri Railroad amrailroad.com Pajamas + Train Ride + Santa + Hot Chocolate = Kids’ Dream! One of my favorite holiday traditions is taking my kids on the Arkansas & Missouri Railroad Train in Springdale. The Christmas Train Saturday Rides fill up quickly, but they also offer Holiday Express Rides throughout the month of December that my kids love just as much. Hop aboard the train in Springdale and ride it to Johnson and back for a 45 minute ride that you will remember for the rest of the year.
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3.
Imagine Studios w w w.imaginestudiosnwa. com Instead of fancy china, I’ve started a collection of personalized Christmas plates made from my children’s hand- and footprints at Imagine Studios (Rogers & Fayetteville locations). Each year we watch the prints get a little bigger while our family grows in size. The best part is that you just bring your child for hand or foot prints and Imagine Studios will do the rest! You can bring your own design or look through their books for ideas. Prices depend on the size of plate you select.
A
new upscale party event center specializing in custom children’s birthday parties hosted by your favorite fairy tale princesses. Now offering full service parties at our new party palace or let us bring the magic to you with character appearances at a location of your choice!
NOW TAKING PARTY BOOKINGS! Pocohantas Thanksgiving Celebration November 12th!
Join Pocahontas and some of her princess friends as they host a fun craft filled event and celebrate all that we are thankful for! We will be doing several thanksgiving crafts, Pocahontas themed face painting, song, story time, and of course decorating turkey cupcakes! $15 per ticket. Tickets are limited.
Info@PrincessPartyPalaceNWA.com
Info@PrincessPartyPalaceNWA.com
www.PrincessPartyPalaceNWA.com
www.PrincessPartyPalaceNWA.com
Ad
ption
in Arkansas Justin Heimer is helping NWA families grow
W
hen you work in adoption, you hear for families adopting here. In addition to the the same thing over smooth legal process, generally and over, “I would speaking, legal and other fees There are a lot of like to adopt… someday, when for an adoption in Arkansas the time is right. Not now, and tend to be far less than other good reasons to wait I’m not sure when, but definitely areas of the county. when considering someday.” I get it, adoption is adoption. There are a big decision. It is a life-long Adopting in Arkansas is great! also a lot of good commitment. It shouldn’t be But, adoption in Northwest reasons to entered into lightly. But... it Arkansas is even better. Among get started might be worth considering adoption professionals in Arkansas, immediately. whether here and now is actually it is widely believed that the best the right place and time. counties to adopt through are here in the Northwest corner. Benton County Arkansas has some of the most and Washington County judges are favorable adoption laws in the U.S. In fact, nearly professional, welcoming and quick to help adoptive 50 percent of the adoptive families I serve come parents finalize as soon as legal requirements are from out of state to adopt under our law. Arkansas met. is widely known in adoption circles to be one of the fastest, simplest, and least expensive places Despite the benefits of adopting here, there are to adopt in the country. In fact, one adoption three groups who seem most likely to delay getting professional in California jokes that Arkansas is their process started: those who are seeking the where you go for “drive-thru” adoptions. They traditional adoption, caretakers and international say that because, in Arkansas, we can effectively adoptions. finalize an adoption in just a few days. That’s very quick when compared to the several months it The first group is those adopting a child they don’t takes in many states. Termination of birth parent currently know or even know about. This is what rights quickly and permanently is another benefit many people consider a “normal” adoption. In contrast, if someone is considering adoption and a child they know becomes available, they are more likely to move ahead immediately. For example, 56 November 2016
if your neighbor’s sister gets pregnant and wants to place the child for adoption, and you want to adopt, you move quickly because of the urgency inherent with pregnancy. But, if someone wants to adopt through an agency or the foster care system, they are more likely to wait for the timing to be “right.” However, life’s timing is never perfect, and feedback from clients tells me their one regret was waiting so long to get the process started. An adoption can take months or years to complete. If you are considering adopting, take the next baby step forward by getting information to see if you should start now. Babies in need of homes are being born all the time, and there are great agencies working to find them one. There are also hundreds of children in the foster care system that are available for adoption right now. Check out The Call (thecallinarkansas.org) or Project Zero (theprojectzero.org) to learn about adopting from foster care. The second group that can be slow to get started on an adoption are the current caretakers. These are those stepparents, grandparents, and caretakers who are already parenting a child they know and love but haven’t taken the legal steps to formalize the relationship. This group is almost never slow to act out of a lack of commitment. Instead, they might be moving slowly because of other relationship issues. Sometimes a stepparent doesn’t adopt because they want to respect their spouse’s former partner. Maybe they fear stirring the pot. When a grandparent or caretaker is parenting, they often won’t adopt because they hope the biological parent of the child will get their life on track and return to care for the child. I
understand all of those hopes, fears and concerns. These aren’t easy issues. But, children tend to do better when they feel more secure. If you are the stepparent, grandparent or caretaker of a child and you are scared to move forward with guardianship or adoption because you don’t want to mess with the status quo, it is possible the child feels (or someday soon will feel) that same insecurity. Also, as a step-parent, grandparent or caretaker for a child, it may be important to legally establish your relationship with the child so that you aren’t reliant upon your relationship with the child’s birth parent to connect you. The third and final group that tends to move slowly are those who have adopted internationally and then didn’t follow up with a recognition of adoption decree here in Arkansas. When a child is adopted from another country, Arkansas recognizes that adoption and, technically, you don’t have to follow up with another hearing. However, many families find it wise to do this, and the outcome is both that your child’s name is legally changed to the one you chose and you get an Arkansas birth certificate proving it. As an attorney, I encounter families that didn’t take this last step and, years later, their young adult child had trouble getting their application for college approved or their driver’s license because the child’s birth certificate was written in another language. There are a lot of good reasons to wait when considering adoption. There are also a lot of good reasons to get started immediately. If you are trying to weigh your options, reach out to me (www.myadoptionarkansas.com) or someone else in the field to see if it might be time to get your process started.
A Few of Our
Favorite Things... both beautiful and functional, why not add beautiful, functional toys as well? The Finn + Emma Play Gym is the perfect solution. Made of all natural, untreated Indian hardwood and organic cotton, fair-trade toys that were hand-knit by artisans in Peru, the Finn + Emma play gym is simply the best for your little bundle of joy.
Finn + Emma
www.finnandemma.com Plastic baby gyms may be fun, but there’s one major problem – they’re kind of unsightly. They fall over, break easily, and usually remain mostly unused in an abandoned corner. When putting in all the time and effort to create a nursery that is
Finn + Emma’s muslin swaddles are some of our absolute favorites. Because they are loosely woven, infants are able to moderate their own body temperature. Each one is made of soft organic cotton and non-toxic, eco-friendly dyes. We love that the quality of these blankets hold up so well in the washing machine. This way, you can keep these beautiful, soft swaddles in the family to use for several years to come!
Ana Apple
www.anaapple.com When styling your child, you want them to stand out. You want their unique interests and personality to shine through. If it’s also important to you (like it is to us) to support local, U.S.A. made items, then you’ll want to check out Ana Apple, which checks all of the boxes above. This Sacramento-based baby and toddler clothing line creates quirky, fun clothes that are definitely hand-medown worthy. Because all of the clothes are handmade using felt from 100 percent post-consumer recycled plastic bottles and U.S.A-grown cotton, you can feel good about helping out a local community, the nation and the earth, all while making sure your little one’s style is on point! 58 November 2016
Handmade Happiness by Ruth www.handmadehappinessbyruth.com
There is just something about an item being handmade that makes it all the more special. Toys are no exception. While we wish we could craft up toys that are perfect for our little ones, Ruth does the hard work for us, and creates beautiful, sturdy, handmade toys that your child will love for years to come. We love the Play Mats, which come in a variety of styles depending on what your child enjoys. The Vroom Vroom Car Play Mat is perfect for children who just have to bring their toy cars with them wherever they go…but you just can’t stand finding yet another diecast car in your purse. The felt and cotton hand-sewn Play Mat featuring a road, houses and trees, folds up neatly to fit into your diaper bag or purse. The best part is – there are several little pockets sewn into the mat so that you can store the cars inside making it easy to carry and keep up with!
If you have a product or business you would like to see featured in our popular December gift guide email editor@peekaboonwa.com to find out how you can be a part of this issue!
Our Adoption Story by: Nicole Enssle
Our adoption story began the same way that many others do. We started trying to have children after we had been married for four years, which seemed an appropriate amount of time. Months passed by, however, and nothing was happening. Disappointed and confused, we scheduled a trip to the doctor’s office in February of 2012 – an appointment that would change our lives forever. After testing, my doctor gave me the grim, heartbreaking diagnosis that no potential parent ever wants to hear: “You will never be able to have children of your own.” I had been tested for and diagnosed with a very rare disease called Premature Ovarian Failure – so rare that only 1 percent of women in the world have it. Basically, the disease caused my body to go into full-blown menopause at the young age of 27. The medical team immediately had us schedule an appointment at a fertility clinic so that we could learn more about the disease and what our options might be. Our choices were, in a word, slim. Using a donor egg with IVF was the only option we were provided. After the appointment, we had to let the shock 60 November 2016
~ The Enssle’s ~
wear off and make some life-changing decisions. We went straight to researching and trying everything ‘natural’ that we could, from herbs and supplements, to a promising fertility massage. We tried that route for over a year without a positive pregnancy test. It was incredibly difficult to go through, but one of the greatest things that helped me was our local NWA Infertility Support group. I still treasure my friendships with these girls, who understood me in the way only someone going through that with me could. My husband and I finally discussed adoption after everything else failed. We were both open to it, but we just weren’t quite ready, after all the intense effort we’d put into having a biological child. We decided that, if my chances of carrying a child on my own with a donor egg weren’t even all that high, then why put my body through all the drugs and emotional havoc? Instead of worry and push ourselves, we chose to live life to its fullest and see what would happen. We decided in October of 2014 that we were both ready to dive in to our adoption journey. We didn’t know much about it, so we were given the name
of a social worker with whom we could consult on our personal home study. We met with her, and she explained all of the options of adopting in the United States. There was word-of-mouth adoption, foster to adopt through the state, using an adoption agency, or going through a private lawyer. The last two options started at anywhere from $20,000 - $30,000. Neither of us agreed with this at all. Adoption shouldn’t be about money, and how much you can pay to get a baby. We ended up going through the process of the home study, anyway, so that we would have that under our belt. In the end, we chose word-of-mouth adoption. Our adoption specialist told us to share our story with everyone we knew, and to tell those people to tell everyone they knew, and so on, through Facebook, email, phone, everything. Since I have a blog (theenssles.blogspot.com) that I started when I was first diagnosed, I was able to connect with people around the world that have the same condition I do--and tell them about my decision to try to adopt. The blog helped me to not feel so alone, and it helped me process and release my emotions, since I could write out all of my feelings. When we told our social worker about my blog, she immediately recommended that we use that tool, saying, “Make sure you share your desire to adopt.” We received an overwhelming amount of support and shares through social media this way.
I received a few messages over the next several months from people knowing of someone pregnant who wouldn’t be able to keep the baby. We talked to a few different birth moms, but they all decided they just couldn’t give their baby up so early in the process. This process was extremely hard on us. We tried to stay positive, but it seemed like the hits just kept coming. Of course, while all this was happening, we somehow still had to keep living our lives. Some of the hardest parts for me were the holidays and the back-to-school time frame. All of my peers, friends, old classmates were posting pictures with their children, and I felt like I was constantly looking in on the life I was supposed to have, but couldn’t. It was almost as if my life was passing me by, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. After months and months of not finding a birth mom compatible with us, we decided to go ahead and sign up to foster children, with the hope of adopting through the state of Arkansas. This process was definitely not a fast one. We submitted our application in July of 2015, and were assigned a worker who completed an initial home-check and literal mountains of paperwork with us. In the meantime, just one month after applying through the state, a friend of mine I went to high school with told me she worked with a girl who
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was pregnant, but would not be able to keep the baby. She exchanged her information with me, and, the moment I got her number, my husband and I were so nervous. I sent her a text asking if we could meet, and we hired an attorney who could guide us along the way. Two weeks later, we met the birth mom at a local restaurant for the first time--awkward, to say the least. She was sweet as could be, but all three of us were very obviously nervous. She was around one month pregnant when we first met. We went through the questions she had, and the questions we had, and, at the end of our meeting, she handed us the first ultrasound pictures. We were immediately excited and so in love! It’s crazy how much you can love someone you’ve never even met. From there, she gave us her next doctor’s appointment, so that I could meet her there. She invited me to keep coming to the appointments, and, as time went on, the awkwardness went away, and we genuinely became friends. My husband and I both decided we would keep our news quiet. We didn’t want to get our friends’ and family members’ hopes up. It was enough stress for us to deal with this on our own! We did tell our sisters, my best friend and the girls from my infertility group, but no one beyond that. Meanwhile, we received a letter from the state to start our training classes for the foster-to-adopt program, and we decided to finish the process in case our pending adoption didn’t work out. We didn’t want to have to start from square one again if the birth mother changed her mind. At about the halfway mark of our birth mom’s pregnancy, we went to the organ ultrasound and they let us know that we could also find out the
gender of the baby. I had always wanted the gender of my baby to be a surprise when I had dreamed about being a mom, so we chose not to hear. Since we were also guarding our hearts, we decided we wouldn’t be buying anything baby-related for our house. If it didn’t work out, we didn’t want to have physical reminders when we came home from the hospital with empty arms. The months passed quickly. At about six weeks from the due date, we slowly started telling our families and close friends. We felt like we had known our birth mom long enough, and that she wouldn’t change her mind. Everyone was ecstatic for us! Before we knew it, March was here. We had our regular 39-week doctor’s appointment on a Monday, a day I will never forget. Our birth mom was showing signs of labor, so we were sent straight to the hospital. It was about to happen! Our little dream we had been waiting on was getting so close. Our birth mom was nothing short of amazing. She never wavered on her decision the entire pregnancy. The labor was as easy as could be-- I would tell her when she was having a contraction, and we laid in the hospital room watching movies on TV all day. The hospital was also great about everything, even setting up a room for my husband and I since it was a closed adoption. On March 14, 2016, at 8:43 p.m., our precious little girl, Tenley Marie Enssle was born. Since our birth mom let me be in the room, I was able to cut the umbilical cord and give her the first bath, which was such an amazing experience. After about an hour, our birth mom said her final goodbyes to the baby. My husband was still in our room, since I didn’t have time to text him back after I had sent a text saying she was pushing. He didn’t even know she had been born, or what the gender was! When we were talking later that night, he said that he heard a baby cry at the exact time she was born. Walking in to our room and introducing my husband to our precious baby girl is a moment neither of us will ever forget. In the state of Arkansas, the birth mom has ten days to change her mind. We stayed at the hospital for the standard 24 hours after the birth, and then got to take Tenley home. Since we hadn’t bought any baby stuff, all we had was a car seat, three bottles and one gray and white outfit.
Interestingly enough, the day we left the hospital was also the day we received our approval through the state to become an open foster-to-adopt home. I have to say, our close family and friends really stepped up to help us out. They brought us baby clothes, diapers, food, anything and everything you could think of that a baby would need. I was nervous about the 10-day waiting period, but it seemed to fly by with all of the love and attention! Our sweet baby girl is now 7 months old. She is thriving, and is the happiest little baby. We are enjoying every precious moment, and will be forever indebted to our birth mom. After all the heartache, tears and emotions of the four years that led to our baby being placed in our arms, we really understand what a gift adoption is. We call her our little social media baby, as that is how we found her. We aren’t sure what the future holds for our family, but we know that the way our adoption happened, it most likely will never happen again. So, we are really trying to savor every moment with her. Since the process takes so long, we get anxious about what we would do if we decide we want another baby, but we know that we have to let that process take its course. We have to live in the moment. We feel so incredibly blessed and loved by all of the support we have been given.
Since I have seen the struggles of so many others like myself, my dream for the future is to be able to start a non-profit that would help bring birth moms and adoptive parents together... without the cost. Just because you can’t have a baby of your own, you shouldn’t have to go into massive
amounts of debt when there are plenty of children in our own country that need a good home. This is my dream, and I hope to make it happen one day.
100 West Center, Ste 101 Fayetteville 479-444-7778
NORTHWEST HEALTH Northwest Medical Center - Bentonville First in Arkansas to Receive Gold Seal of Approval® for Spine Certification from The Joint Commission Established
in 2002 and awarded for a twoyear period, The Joint Commission’s DiseaseSpecific Care Certification evaluates clinical programs across the continuum of care and addresses three core areas: • Compliance with consensus-based national standards; • Effective use of evidence-based clinical practice guidelines to manage and optimize care; and • An organized approach to performance measurement and improvement activities.
N
orthwest Health announced that it is the first in the state of Arkansas to have earned The Joint Commission’s (TJC) Gold Seal of Approval® for Spine Certification. The Gold Seal of Approval® is a symbol of quality that reflects an organization’s commitment to providing safe and effective patient care. “All surgical endeavors have inherent obstacles for successful outcomes, but this comprehensive review of our spine program demonstrates the commitment of the entire spine team to provide excellent care to the patients of northwest Arkansas,” explains Charles (Chuck) Nalley, MD, fellowship-trained spine surgeon. Northwest Medical Center - Bentonville underwent a rigorous on-site review in September 2016. Joint Commission experts evaluated compliance with national disease-specific care standards as well as with Spine Disease-specific requirements. Clinical practice guidelines and performance measures also were assessed. 64 November 2016
“Northwest Medical Center – Bentonville has thoroughly demonstrated a high level of care for patients with Spine disease,” said Wendi J. Roberts, RN, executive director, Certification Programs, The Joint Commission. “We commend Northwest Health for becoming a leader in Spine disease care providing a higher standard of service for patients in its community.” “We at Northwest Health are proud of our team in Bentonville for receiving the Spine Certification from The Joint Commission,” Sharif Omar, CEO, Northwest Health says. “We recognize our team at Northwest Medical Center – Springdale as well for achieving their Total Joint Hip and Knee Certification following the September survey,” he adds. “The certification provides us with the framework to create a culture of excellence for those in our community.”
When Reading Doesn't Make Sense by Andrea Hanson, CCC-SLP Children's Therapy TEAM Speech-Language Pathologist
I recall the excitement a mother had in sharing that her 2nd grade son read a sign at Silver Dollar City. He had started a dyslexia intervention program, Take Dyslexia Flight, about two months earlier. Before beginning the does not intervention, he could only have to be really read his own name. a struggle, He didn't know all his letters, but rather a and had no phonics. However, new way of when he started Take Flight's learning to multisensory, systematic read. intervention with an academic language therapist, he finally began truly learning to read. This and countless other success stories have led me to believe that dyslexia does not have to be a struggle, but rather a new way of learning to read. Good dyslexia intervention must include phonemic awareness as the foundation of its program. This means a child is supported in learning to hear and differentiate the basic sounds that make up words. Progressive, daily intervention in a 1:1 ratio or small group is key to success in treating a child with dyslexia.
Dyslexia Warning Signs Kindergarten/Preschool · · · · ·
delay in speech mixing up sounds and symbols in long words difficulty recognizing and producing rhymes constant confusion of right versus left chronic ear infections that affect the way sounds are remembered and stored in a child’s memory · difficulty learning to tie shoes · trouble memorizing rote information like name, address, and phone number · difficulty remembering and following directions
Early Elementary · · · · · · · · · · ·
dysgraphia (difficulty writing coherently) letter or number reversals extreme difficulty in learning cursive slow, choppy, inaccurate reading terrible spelling can’t remember sight words difficulty telling time trouble with math problems with directionality difficulty with word retrieval for specific words difficulty finding the correct word when speaking
For any parent whose child struggles to learn to read, the key question is, "Why?" Is the child not being taught the right way? Is he/she lazy and unmotivated? Or is it dyslexia? Careful observation can be very informative in finding answers. There are red flag warning signs for dyslexia beginning as early as preschool and kindergarten. Also, a family history of reading difficulties can be a significant indicator. What is dyslexia? It is a specific learning difference that is the result of the way a child's brain is wired. In studies of brain scans, the neurological, biological differences of individuals with dyslexia are clear. When asked to read, different areas of the brain are active in a ‘typical’ person versus the brain of someone with dyslexia. These neurological differences have a huge impact on the way a child learns to read and write.
There are red flag warning signs for dyslexia beginning as early as preschool and kindergarten.
Using traditional classroom instructional methods, children with dyslexia often have a hard time acquiring skills in phonological awareness, decoding, reading fluency, and spelling. Without these skills, school is a real struggle. However, it doesn't have to be! I have seen many children with dyslexia thrive in school. The earlier the intervention, the sooner the child can begin making sense of reading and enjoy the wonderful confidence that comes with it.
High School
(All of the previously listed symptoms, plus those listed below) ∙ limited vocabulary ∙ extremely poor written expression ∙ unable to master a foreign language ∙ difficulty reading printed music ∙ poor grades ∙ depression Andrea Hanson holds a Master’s Degree in Speech-Language Pathology from the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville. She joined the TEAM family in 2007, working in conjunction with the public schools, and is now a full-time TEAM Therapist. Andrea has additional training as an Academic Language Therapist through the Take Flight Dyslexia Program. She is also trained in PECS, TEACCH, Visualizing/Verbalizing, LiPS, and Seeing Stars. Andrea and her husband, David Hanson, live in Centerton, AR, with their 3 children, Hannah (8), and twins, Brynn (6) and Sawyer(6). Both Hansons are very involved in the dyslexia community in Northwest Arkansas.
NWA’s
ONLY Faith-Based Program Coordinator for Pediatric Therapy Warm-Water Pediatric Therapy Pools Constraint Induced Movement Therapy Comprehensive Family Support TEAM Exclusive Pediatric Aquatic Center VitalStim Therapy TEAM Clinic-Based Licensed Orthotic Provider Augmentative & Alternative Communication Evaluations Clinic-Sponsored Financial Hardship Program Heroes for Kids Recreation Equipment Program Nationally Board Certified Pediatric Specialist (PT) TEAMworks Nonprofit Global Outreach
An inspiring choice for your child!
Call us at 521-TEAM or visit us at www.ChildrensTherapyTEAM.com
SoNA and Walton Arts Center Proudly Present
The Snowman: A Family Concert on December 6
Tickets for The Snowman — which are only $8 — and A Very SoNA Christmas ($30, $42, $52) are going fast. If you haven’t reserved your seats yet, do so now! To purchase tickets, please call Walton Arts Center’s box office at (479) 4435600 or visit www.sonamusic.org for online ticketing options and full season information.
Holiday Spectacular for Kids and Families: Part of SoNA’s Traditional Christmas Lineup
B
ack by popular demand this holiday season, the Symphony of Northwest Arkansas (SoNA), in partnership with Walton Arts Center, presents the return of an exciting holiday concert spectacular especially for children and families at 2 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 4 at Walton Arts Center in Fayetteville. This special family performance takes place the day after SoNA’s ever-popular Christmas concert, which is one of Northwest Arkansas’ most beloved Yuletide traditions. Captivating to audiences of all ages, The Snowman: A Family Concert features a special screening of the Academy Award-nominated, holiday hit film “The Snowman,” which boasts an extraordinary orchestral soundtrack that SoNA performs live – showcasing the region’s finest professional musicians, performing under the baton of acclaimed SoNA Music Director Paul Haas. “This concert captures so poignantly and poetically the beauty and powerful imagination of youth,” Maestro Haas said. “All of us remember what it was like as a child to wish that our favorite toys or stuffed animals would come to life, in fact to believe they would! This silent film — accompanied by an extraordinary score for virtuosic orchestra — brings that magical thought alive in a way that captivates both young and old alike.” “I speak from personal experience,” Haas continued. “My two young daughters have adopted 68 November 2016
this film as their holiday favorite, and my wife and I often find ourselves drawn into the experience, stopping whatever we’re doing to watch it with them. It’s that powerful.” Also make plans to enjoy A Very SoNA Christmas on Saturday, Dec. 3 at either 2 p.m. for the allnew matinee option, or at 7:30 p.m. for the evening performance – both performances take place at Walton Arts Center. SoNA’s ever-popular Christmas concert is a tradition like none other. Celebrating the beauty and magic of the holidays with a blended collection of sacred and secular favorites, A Very SoNA Christmas features the SoNA Singers, an auditioned group of choral singers led by Director Terry Hicks — one of Arkansas’ most respected choral conductors — performing alongside special guest soloists and members of the University of Arkansas Schola Cantorum, an elite choral ensemble performing under the direction of Dr. Stephen Caldwell. “This is for many reasons my favorite concert of the year,” Haas said of A Very SoNA Christmas. “It’s become a Northwest Arkansas tradition, and I think the reason is that we bring together so many different parts of the community, celebrating through music this joyous season. Northwest Arkansas is so much more than a collection of cities and towns – it really is an organic and beautiful coming together of people from all walks of life, and SoNA’s Christmas Pops concert mirrors that coming together with an extraordinary blend of traditional and pops programming.”
By Chonda Ralston
When our son, Zachary, was tiny with pink, petal-soft skin, people would look at me with a questioning glance: She doesn’t look like she gave birth in the last few months! Lord knows we women are hard enough on ourselves, so I would quickly explain that he was adopted at a few days old. “Isn’t he just the most beautiful blessing?” I’d gush, sometimes sharing more details about how God had answered our prayers. The typical response was something about what a good thing to do, and many would comment that it was sweet of us to “give him a good home.” And we have. Our son has had a loving family and secure life making fun memories with his older, halfsiblings and extended family. He’s had a daddy that plays catch and pushes him to be his best, and a mommy who cuddled and cooks his favorites. But the truth is that we are the ones who have been the true beneficiaries of his adoption.
Hello to a New Life When we received the call about Zachary, eleven years ago, his soon-to-be aunt explained that her sister was due any day and had come to the difficult decision for what she believed was best, but there were some stipulations. His birth mother had already chosen a name, and she would like us to agree to keep it—Zachary. We committed to pray and get back with her, and immediately looked up the meaning of the name. Remembered by God—it gave me goose bumps. When we first started the process to adopt from foster care, there were a few Bible verses that I’d clung to as we went through the arduous training and steps for approval. One was, “Wait for 70 November 2016
the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14 (NIV). We were only days away from accepting our first foster child placement, and I had given up on the idea of getting an infant, when we received the call. My husband and I agreed to step forward in faith, put our hearts on the line, and wait the few more days until Zachary’s birth. His birth mother was able to make the brave and sacrificial choice to place him in our arms when he was two days old. Honestly, at times, I still can’t believe God chose us, chose me. Every giggle and smile has helped heal this barren woman’s heart. Our high-energy boy has brought laughter and joy, and hand-wringing, too. He binds me to my husband in ways I could have never known. We are the ones who have been the true beneficiaries of his adoption.
A Different Call In the years since, we have wrestled with the thought of adopting again. Of honoring our original call to adopt from foster care: “Look after orphans and widows in their distress” James 1:27 (NIV). In fact, I’ve sometimes felt like we took the easy way out. Yes, our son has experienced loss, but a two-day-old baby has very little baggage compared to an 8-year-old who’s witnessed things that can’t even be discussed in polite company. Or, a child that’s exhibiting signs of attachment disorder because they’ve been shuffled from foster home to foster home. What these children have endured breaks my heart. We have numerous friends who serve as foster parents and others who’ve adopted from those channels. They wrestled with the same fears and what-if questions we all have, but answered yes anyway. I admire them so much. Whether it’s been fear, or a timing issue, or other reasons, we haven’t been able to move forward and adopt again. And while I agree with folks who say that there will always be fear and reasons to say no, I am also informed enough to know that you need to be sure and committed. These children don’t need any more disappointments.
As we wait for clarity and confirmation, there are still things that we can do to “look after the orphans” and to come alongside those who are in the trenches. I once heard someone say, “We are not all called to adopt, but we are all called to do something.” In Northwest Arkansas there are numerous opportunities to help with the orphan crisis. And to be clear—it is a crisis. Currently, there are more than 5,000 children and youth in foster care in the state and only 1,600 open homes, according to the Arkansas Department of Human Services. If your family isn’t ready to open your doors to receive foster children, perhaps you could help raise awareness of the incredible need? Many organizations hold fun races and events to raise much-needed funds. There are organizations that purchase nice duffle bags for the children to transport whatever meager possessions they have so they’re not using trash bags. There is a huge need for respite care providers. This can vary from being fully-trained volunteers who are certified to care for these children so their foster families can travel out-of-state, or those who are willing to provide a night out for frenzied parents. You can establish the parameters. Shane and Sarah* felt God was calling them to provide respite care for foster families. They were trained and started to provide nightly childcare for a four-month-old little girl while her foster mother worked the nightshift. Abby quickly settled into her routine of coming to their home each evening. Not having any children of their own, Shane and Sarah were intimidated at first, but soon realized they were equipped to handle Abby’s needs. “We saw it as a chance to help these kids,” Sarah said, explaining their initial decision to become respite providers. “I think any time you make an investment in children there’s a payoff. It may be in seeing them jump up and down when you tell them you’re taking them bowling, or just in seeing a child begin to change as they realize they’re safe in your home.” Sometimes Sarah would cry as she rocked Abby, snuggling her tiny frame that had been so malnourished early on. The days turned into months and Abby was showing everyone that she had dramatically rebounded from her rough start. She had a determination and spirit that made Shane and Sarah smile, knowing they had played a small part. As Abby’s first birthday approached it became apparent that she would be available for adoption. Shane and Sarah stepped forward to make their home Abby’s forever home.
Different Paths, Same Destination We met Shane and Sarah when we all attended the training classes to be certified for fostering,
adoption or respite care. Our paths crossed again when we realized they were the parents of Zachary’s spunky little best friend, Abby, at preschool. We were amazed at how God had led us down two very different paths to find our children, and then they somehow found each other. Yes, adoption and foster care are complicated and messy. There’s so much room for fear and doubt and worry. But Scripture tells us that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). God just wants us to step forward with a willing heart, prepared to let Him use us to help these children, be it for a night or a lifetime. And while we’re busy planning, trying to find the perfect time to move forward, God reminds us:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6). *Not their real names.
MANY
One Call
Changed Lives
O
n June 2, 2008, Ken and Shelly Ferguson had completed all the training, background checks and paperwork to open their home for adoption through the state’s foster care system. Little did they know that what would happen that morning would not only change them and the lives of their two biological children, but the lives of countless children in the future. Ken received a call that morning from their caseworker, “I have four children (three girls and one boy) and I need a place for them TODAY!” Ken asked her what would happen if they did not take them. She explained that two of the children would go to a shelter and two of them would go to another home. There wasn’t a home with enough room at that time to keep the siblings together. Ken told her he needed to talk to his wife. The call to Shelly lasted about ten seconds. All she said was, “You know my heart! Call her and tell them to bring them here!” On that day, they went from a family of four to a family of eight, and six short months later, they all became the Ferguson family! Their journey has been one of new beginnings and beautiful realizations all the way through, with faith and family to guide them. Along the way, Ken and Shelly saw firsthand the overwhelming need for foster care parents and homes, especially for sibling groups. They decided to do something about it. The Fergusons brought a group of four friends together who also wanted to help. In February 2011, Ken, Shelly and those four 72 November 2016
friends met and the New Beginning Children’s Homes (NBCH) Board of Directors was formed. Many fundraisers and donations later, 10 acres was purchased. Construction began on the first six-bedroom home and a combination office, warehouse and recreational facility. Fast forward to today… NBCH is a debt-free facility with four open homes, and construction on house five is underway with plans for completion by the end of the year. There are 36 kids living on campus—nine per home—including many sibling groups that were reunited when they came to live at NBCH.
Providing a Family On any night in Arkansas there are about 5,000 kids in the foster care system. There are not enough foster care homes or facilities to accommodate everyone, especially sibling groups of three or more. These children, through no fault of their own, are in care due to abuse, neglect or abandonment. NBCH provides a long-term, loving home where houseparents care and give their all to help these children feel loved. Through a continuum of care, NBCH helps kids experience stability, care, and guidance, in a safe family environment for as long as they need. The NBCH kids, just like your kids, attend school, participate in sports, attend church, go to the movies, skating, swimming, need help with their homework, ride bikes, argue with their siblings, leave stuff laying around, outgrow clothes, shoes. Hmmm… sounds just like any normal household.
Help Rewrite a Child’s Future . newbeginningchildrenshomes.org Through donations of money and materials, and with the help of talented volunteers and craftsmen, NBCH has been able to build and furnish four homes, as well as construct a playground and other outdoor amenities. NBCH plans to have the sixth house completed by the summer of 2017. Ken Ferguson and the NBCH team would be thrilled beyond belief if the state called tomorrow and said there is no more need for foster care, and that all of the children are safe and happy in homes, either back with their parents or adopted! But as long as there is a need to provide families for children, NBCH will be doing everything possible to help REWRITE A CHILD’S FUTURE!
Getting Involved How can you help? There are so many ways, including: donations, volunteering your time, respite date nights and weekends. As the end of the year is fast approaching, this is when most people give donations and they will gladly accept those, but you don’t have to save it all for Christmas. Their greatest need is for monthly supporters. It’s so easy to become a monthly supporter, and any amount is helpful, no amount is too
small. You can go to the NBCH website at www. newbeginningchildrenshomes.org and become a monthly contributor through PayPal in just a few minutes. You can also use bill pay through your local bank or call the NBCH office and ask to do a monthly bank draft. This consistent, monthly support is greatly appreciated! You can also help get the word out about the work of NBCH and the tremendous needs of children in foster care. Go to Facebook and like and follow NBCH. They are currently working hard getting ready for the LIVE2GIVE GALA to be held on December 10, 2016, 6:30 pm at the Embassy Suites in Rogers. Join NBCH for dinner, silent and live auctions, and speakers sharing about their past journey and plans for the future! Tickets and sponsor packages are on sale now at the NBCH website. You can also support by donating silent auction items such as gift cards, community event and game tickets, signed memorabilia, commissioned art, movie tickets, hotel stays, etc. If you can offer any assistance or would like to learn more, please call Anthony at 479-799-4440 or the NBCH office at 479-795-0901.
At a
Glance
Advanced Dermatology / Skin Care Center (479) 268-3555 (Pg. 59) Lips & Lines (Pg. 61) (479) 330-1201 NWA Center for Plastic Surgery (Pg. 2) (479) 571-3100 nwacenterforplasticsurgery.com
EDUCATION/TRAINING ADOPTION My Adoption Arkansas (Pg. 80) myadoptionarkansas.com
ARTS and MUSIC Crystal Bridges (Pg. 15) (479) 418-5700 crystalbridges.org Imagine Studios (Pg. 57) (479) 619-6085 Trike Theatre (Pg. 29) (479) 464-5084 triketheatre.org Walton Arts Center (Pg. 45, 53) waltonartscenter.org
BANKS First Security (Pg. 5) www.fsbank.com; www.onlyinark.com
CHILDCARE/NANNY SERVICES ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 69) (479) 202-5691 abchappykids.com Better Beginnings (Pg. 74) (800) 445-3316 arbetterbeginnings.com Mary’s Little Lambs Preschool (Pg. 65) (479) 273-1011
CLOTHING 3 Monkeys (Pg. 44) (479) 372-4241 Dilly Dally’s (Pg. 26-7) dillydallys.com Oh Baby Boutique (Pg. 43) (479) 254-2911 www.ohbabynwa.com
COMPUTERS SOAPware DPC (Pg. 23) www.soapware.com/dpc
DENTIST My Village Ped Dentistry and Orthodontics myvillagesmiles.com (Pg. 19) Pediatric Dental Associates and Orthodontics (479) 582-0600 (Pg. 73) Smile Shoppe Pediatric Dentistry (Pg. 4) (479) 631-6377 Rogers
DERMATOLOGY / SKIN CARE 76 November 2016
Aloha (Pg. 51) (479) 696-7889 Beacon Prep Academy (Pg. 24) (479) 319-6394 Larson’s Language Center (Pg. 42) (479) 633-9900 Mathnasium (Pg. 65) (479) 657-3000 The New School (Pg. 12) thenewschool.org (479) 521-7037 Super Science (Pg. 53) (479) 444-0303 www.super-sci.com Trike Theatre (Pg. 29) (479) 464-5084 www.triketheatre.org
FAMILY FUN / ENTERTAINMENT Crystal Bridges (Pg. 15) (479) 418-5700 Fast Lane Entertainment (Pg. 7) (479) 659-0999 www.fastlanebowl.com Princess Party Palace NWA (Pg. 54) princesspartypalacenwa.com Rogers Historical Museum (Pg. 31) (479) 621-1154 Starlight Skatium (Pg. 69) (479) 444-STAR Super Science (Pg. 53) (479) 444-0303 www.super-sci.com Wonderland Tree Farm (Pg. 34) (479) 212-2964
FITNESS/SPORTS ATA (Pg. 55) Bentonville: (479) 273-1212 Fayetteville: (479) 443-5425
FOOD / DRINK TCBY (Pg. 3) (479) 636-8229 (TCBY)
HAIRCUTS Pigtails & Crewcuts (Pg.32) (479) 935-4121
HEALTH AND WELLNESS Northwest Primary Care (Pg. 8-9) nw-physicians.com Renew Aesthetic (Pg. 38) (479) 802-6229
To advertise and become a part of the Peekaboo Family email: editor@peekaboonwa.com
Tate HealthCare (Pg. 39, 77) (479) 271-6511 www.tatehealthcare.com
HOUSE/YARD Natural State Treehouses (Pg. 75) (479) 387-0701
JEWELRY AND GIFTS David Adams (Pg. 62) davidadams.com (479) 444-7778 Oh Baby Boutique (Pg. 43) (479) 254-2911 www.ohbabynwa.com
LEARNING CENTER Mary’s Little Lamb Preschool (Pg. 65) (479) 273-1011
MARTIAL ARTS ATA (Pg. 55) Bentonville: (479) 273-1212 Fayetteville: (479) 443-5425
OPTOMETRIST Pediatric Vision Development Center (Pg. 49) nwavisiontherapy.com (479) 795-1411
PEDIATRICIAN Bentonville Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 40) (479) 273-5437 Best Start Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 17) (479) 575-9359 Friendship Pediatric Services (Pg. 35) (479) 524-2458 Siloam Springs Living Tree Pediatrics (Pg. 79) (479) 282-2966 NorthwestPediatric Convenient Care (Pg. 13) (479) 751-2522 Ozark Pediatrics (Pg.31) (479) 544-9432
PHOTOGRAPHY BabyFace & More (479) 270-7391
PLASTIC SURGEON NWA Center for Plastic Surgery (Pg. 2) (479) 571-3100 www.nwacenterforplasticsurgery.com
PRESCHOOL/ PRE-K ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 69) (479) 621-6126 www.abchappykids.com Friendship Pediatric Services (Pg. 35) Lowell: (479) 770-0744 Siloam Springs: (479) 524-2465 West Fork: (479) 839-3359 Mary’s Little Lambs Preschool (Pg. 65) (479) 273-1011 The New School (Pg. 12) thenewschool.org
RELAY SERVICE Arkansas Relay (Pg. 11) arkansasrelay.com
THERAPY ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 69) (479) 621-6126 www.abchappykids.com Children’s Therapy T.E.A.M (Pg. 67) www.childrenstherapyteam.com Friendship Pediatric Services (Pg. 35) Lowell: (479) 770-0744 Siloam Springs: (479) 524-2465 West Fork: (479) 839-3359 Woodland Research Northwest (Pg. 33) woodlandintlresearchgrp.com
WOMEN’S HEALTH Lifespring (Pg. 61) (479) 271-0005 Mana (Pg. 25) Parkhill Clinic for Women (Pg. 19) (479) 521-4433 parkhillclinic.com Siloam Springs Women’s Center (Pg. 41) (479) 524-9312 siloamwomenscenter.com Women’s Health Associates (Pg. 78) (479) 876-8111