November 2019

November 2019

BENTONVILLE OUTDOOR DESTINATION UNVEILED

Thanksgiving 2.0

*Northwest Health Physicians’ Specialty Hospital is owned, in part, by physicians.

SPOTLIGHT ON ADOPTION

NWA BOUTIQUE SHOW GUIDE

YOU’LL LOVE

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Kablocks Blast $40.99

Celebrating the kindness of the giver and the joy of the receipient.

Whether you shop online or in the store, Kindness & Joy Toys can help you ďŹ nd a unique, age appropriate gift for every child on your list this year!

Bounce Battle $25.99

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Primo Foldable Scooter $65.99

Craft-tastic DIY Puffy Charms $17.99

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We will wrap it for you!

The

Family KIMBERLY ENDERLE Editor-in-Chief editor@peekaboonwa.com | 479-957-0532

JONATHON ENDERLE Creative Director jon@peekaboonwa.com | 479-586-3890

Jonathon and Kim with Grant, Ava, Gwen and Holden PHOTO BY MAIN STREET STUDIOS

DISTRIBUTION/ CIRCULATION Joyce Whitaker Judy Evans Marcedalia Salinas

Jeremy Whitaker Michelle Dodson

FRANCES WILSON Assistant Editor

BEN LACY Dad’s View

Peekaboo Publications

Columnist

PO Box 1036 Bentonville, Arkansas 72712 Please send inquiries to: editor@peekaboonwa.com or call 479-957-0532 www.peekaboonwa.com Peekaboo may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Views expressed herein are those of the authors and advertisers, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the magazine.

PEEKABOO Northwest Arkansas accepts writing contributions

6 November 2019

MEAGAN RUFFING Columnist

DAVID HOVEY Story Design

Celebrating One Year

You can help kids of Care Close tobe Home

BRAVE this holiday season

Our first year was a big one and we're just getting started! Thank you to our donors, patients, families and staff. We're proud to deliver care close to home for the children of Northwest Arkansas.

2,003 Surgeries

30,104 Outpatient Visits

19,133 Emergency Visits

1,978

Inpatient Admissions

Your gift of $25, $50hospital or more will help Why choose a children's for your child?

Get an inside look at archildrens.org/oneyear champion children and the everyday heroes at Arkansas Children’s.

Please give generously!

Visit giving.archildrens.org (479) 725-6800 | 2601 Gene George Blvd., Springdale, AR 72762 Across from Arvest Ballpark in Springdale, Don Tyson Pkwy. Exit 70 or call (800) 880-7491 Patient data from March 1, 2018 – February 28, 2019

Inside

NOVEMBER 2019

Also 12

Finding a Family BY: THE TODD FAMILY

14

Project Zero: Imagine a World Where 1+1=0

18

NWA Boutique Show

24

14

Project Zero

26

The Path Less Taken BY: CARLA TATE

Dad’s View WITH BEN LACY

26

The Path Less Taken BY: CARLA TATE

30

A Dad’s Perspective from a Foster/ Adoptive Dad BY: RYAN SMITH

40

The Journey through Adoption BY: AMANDA KOVAL

46

Shared Beginnings

30

A Dad’s Perspective from a Foster/Adoptive Dad

46

Shared Beginnings BY: MICHAELA MONTIE

BY: RYAN SMITH

BY: MICHAELA MONTIE

52

Community News

60

Thanksgiving 2.0 BY: MEAGAN RUFFING

ON THE COVER: Dustin, Leah, Brooklyn and Kyngston Todd of Decatur Dustin is the Justice of the Peace for District 11.

Photos by: Samantha Daniels of The Kindred Collective. thekindredcollective.org Cover Sponsored by: Northwest Health www.northwesthealth.com

*Northwest Health Physicians’ Specialty Hospital is owned, in part, by physicians.

8 November 2019

62

Northwest Women’s Specialty Group

At Pediatric Dental Associates and Orthodontics you’ll discover that we go the extra mile for our patients! From the moment you see our office, you’ll know what we mean. We have a fully themed environment that is comforting and fun for your children.

We offer preventive, restorative, and orthodontic services for kids ages 0-18.

We also specialize in dental care for children with special needs.

1607 E. Rainforest Rd. Fayetteville, AR 72703

801 SW Regional Airport Blvd.

Bentonville, AR 72712

Fayetteville: 479-582-0600

Bentonville: 479-268-5000

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We accept all insurances and we are in-network with Delta Dental, Cigna, Blue Cross Blue Shield, ARKids, Delta Dental Smiles, and MCNA.

If you have a story to share, or an idea for a story, email editor@peekaboonwa.com and become a part of the Peekaboo family!

From the Editor

HERE’S A LOOK AHEAD! _____________________________ Next month, in one of my favorite issues of the year, DECEMBER, we offer readers the most comprehensive guide of holiday out-and-about activities across the area. If you have a holiday event, or gift idea for the gift guide, email editor@peekaboonwa.com Then we turn to 2020! We’re starting the year off with our update issue, where we check back in with some of our favorite families. Then, our big birthday party issue in February to celebrate Peekaboo’s own birthday!

T

his month’s letter from the editor was written on the beach in Naples, Florida.

I was too nervous to bring my laptop to the beach... and who uses pen and paper anymore to write, anyway? I could have used my iPhone, but I left it out in the sun, so it gave me a warning that it couldn’t be used because it had gotten too hot (in a rather condescending tone, I might add).

So, technically, it was written in my head and then transcribed later, but the perspective and thoughts and ideas were all “written” while sitting on the beach, staring out into the ocean -- alone.

Why is the location of its creation relevant?

Because it was the first time I have gone to the beach, or anywhere, overnight without my kids... except to the hospital to have another baby. I talk a lot about perspective, but, during the past few months, I lost sight of where I should be looking for, and finding, that perspective. Then, last month, I hit a proverbial wall. The “you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others” cliche was no longer a cliche. As moms, we become very used to rolling with the punches and being at the mercy of our family. Their activities take top slots on the calendar, their moods dictate our own, and if one of the kids is sick, it is ten times worse than if we were sick ourselves.

After 29 months of nursing my youngest and waking 3 to 4 times every night for the entire duration, I finally had to come to terms with the fact that sleep was 10 November 2019

photo by: Lazer Lee Photography

important, and I wasn’t getting enough of it. Anytime someone pointed out that I needed to get more sleep, I justified it by saying, “Well… this is my new normal…

I just need to cope with it.” However, this mentality was, and is, harmful to ourselves and our families. As mothers, we need to begin taking our health seriously, and we need to encourage fellow moms to do the same. Because -- trust me -- we no longer have the same stamina as we did when we were teenagers.

Despite running on empty, my kids were well-taken care of, the laundry was being done, the house was still clean, and work was still being completed at top speed.

If you emailed me, you would have a response within the hour; text me, and you would get an answer in seconds; but even though I was still accomplishing things, I didn’t feel like I was succeeding (or even thriving) at being myself.

Instead of looking inward and working on the root problem, however, I turned my attention outward.

I found myself searching for what was missing to “fix” the insecurities I was feeling. The “best” place I thought of to turn? Facebook, of course. I began wanting to be as successful as the (seemingly) most successful person in my Facebook friends list. If a friend was killing it at yoga, I wanted to do yoga, too.

If an acquaintance was starting a new business selling “face-changing” makeup, I wanted to sell it, too. It wasn’t that I was jealous or competitive; in fact, I was the opposite -- I was over-the-top happy for them. So... why the internal struggle?

I didn’t honestly want the job they had, and, while yoga is really awesome, I am more of a Pilates girl. To tell the truth, the most makeup I usually wear is mascara, never mind “face-changing.” It came down to a desire to be all things at all times to all people. I felt like I was living my life in hyperspeed and (in my head) not accomplishing much. Thus, I thought that I should do whatever those I viewed as successful were doing. The problem was, I didn’t want to do those things. In fact, most of the pursuits I judged myself against I didn’t even like, or want to do. I just wanted to want to do them. In particular, when it comes to exercise -- I don’t want to exercise, I just wish I had the desire to.

I was so busy feeling inadequate because my life didn’t mimic the alleged perfection of everyone else’s, that I totally lost sight of the fact that I had a life of my own to live -- and I actually had a really great one. When I finally achieved the muchneeded sleep, and consequent inspiration for this letter, I realized that it wasn’t that I needed to change up my life goals -I needed to change the way I was viewing the life that I had. I had been keeping

score of every. single. thing. I did, but on an unfair score card -- one where no one could win, especially myself. It wasn’t until I got some clarity, and with it a chance to look in the mirror without the lens of comparison and doubt, that I was able to I push the reset button on my outlook. I could finally realize how thankful I was for the life I had and the work I put in every day for the people I love. I promised that I would include myself in the love fest of my life, so that I wouldn’t run into another wall.

Since this is the month we stop to reflect on all that we are thankful for, my ruminations all came at a perfect time.

When we at Peekaboo focus on all that we are thankful for, we also feature families who make such a big difference in the lives of others. Through adoption, these families transform the life of a child (or children) and, in turn, are made better because of the love that they decide to share. Every year I look forward to each and every emailed adoption story that I receive. These stories never fail to inspire me, because they are full of examples of true love and sacrifice.

Until next time ...

Kim Enderle

We get you.

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Finding a

Family by: the Todd Family photo by: The Kindred Collective Our adoption journey began with the knowledge that there are so many kids waiting for a family.

We talked about what it would look like to bring another kid or kids into our home knowing that, since we have been so tremendously blessed by God, it would be selfish not to answer the calling that God had placed in our hearts. We just had no idea how all this would play out.

After prayer and many conversations, we went through the required classes and opened our home for adoption. We put parameters on what we believed would be best, and listed that we were open to a boy between the age of 4 and 7. Our thinking was that a boy around this age would be a good fit with our son, Kyngston, who was 7 years old at the time. He could be an older brother, and hopefully a good influence for whoever we brought into our home.

12 November 2019

We inquired about some kids in different areas of Arkansas and waited for that phone call, but it didn’t come. After a period of waiting, we decided to get involved with a local non-profit called Project Zero which helps waiting kids get matched with open families. We attended some events, and then began volunteering to help. It was at these events that we were able to interact with so many wonderful kids that were waiting on families. We were able to see the joy that the Project Zero events brought to these children, who were dealing with so much in their young lives. They simply didn’t get the opportunities to do many of the things other kids took for granted.

After interacting with so many kids that deserved to have a home, but were just waiting on the system, we decided to take the parameters off our availability and be open to whatever God had planned. We were now open for any age, which included teenagers, who are often harder to find a placement for.

It was soon after this that we decided to drive to

Little Rock on a Saturday evening to attend the Project Zero ‘Dream Big’ event. This was a night where older kids waiting for a family could dress up and go to a nice dinner at a fancy hotel in Little Rock. The kids were able to dress their best, and enjoy a night of being served great food with a guest speaker, while not having to worry about everything else going on in their lives for at least that one night.

It was that night that Brooklyn was seated next to us as we were sitting at our table. We had a great conversation, and realized that we had many things in common, from enjoying going to sporting events to loving dogs. During the conversation, Brooklyn said that, more than anything, she wanted to find a family. We knew then that Brooklyn was who God had planned for us when we started this journey, even if we had no idea it was going to be a pre-teen girl.

P L A N N I N G R E T I R E M E N T* O N Your T E R M S .

We told the case worker that brought Brooklyn to the event that we were going to inquire about her that night, and then do everything in our power to make sure that we met her again. We had been through the situation already where we never heard anything back from a case worker, and were determined that Brooklyn would not be left wondering if our connection wasn’t real. We called and checked in multiple times a week with the case workers and supervisors on her case. We were told we had no say in the outcome, and that they would determine who the best fit was for Brooklyn, but that didn’t stop us from over-communicating with them. Brooklyn’s case worker changed during the process, but still, we were determined that our potential family would not fall through the cracks. Finally, we received the phone call we had been waiting on to move the process forward with Brooklyn.

It has been a year since all this took place, and her adoption has been finalized. Brooklyn is every bit a part of our family now, and that includes all of our family and friends. She is a wonderful young lady who has a huge heart for helping others. We were the ones blessed to have her as a part of our family, and there is no doubt God has big plans for her future.

We have continued to be involved with Project Zero and their great mission of ‘zero kids waiting for a family in Arkansas.’ Project Zero and their Dream Big event made it possible to meet Brooklyn, which set us on the path of filling the piece of our family that we didn’t realize we were missing. There are still so many waiting kids in Arkansas, and Project Zero continues to work to create more stories like ours.

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Megan McFarland Project Zero truly changed our family! Ritchie is the adoption supervisor for Area 1, and has had the opportunity to work very closely with Project Zero.

I started volunteering with Project Zero a little over three years ago. This organization has allowed us to develop so many relationships with these waiting children, and we would not trade those special moments for anything! The forever families that form at these events is priceless. We are so thankful for the work Project Zero does, and their mission.

For years, Ritchie and I knew we wanted to adopt through the foster care system. We both wanted an older child – I was thinking maybe 10 to 12 years old.

Little did I know that that was not the plan! We met our son at the Back to School Bash in August of 2017 when he was almost 16. Due to Ritchie working for DCFS, our process took a little longer than most, but we finalized the adoption on March 6, 2019. Project Zero opened the door for our family to grow, and 14 November 2019

supported us along the way!

Besides the love and hope they gave Kawika while he was in care, t he y continued to love on us during the process! Adoption is hard and messy, but we were never alone.

We now have a thriving, healthy, eyes-filled-with-hopeand-love 18-year-old son with the help of Project Zero. Because of this, we will forever be grateful for this organization!

The McFarlands

The Ehlers Family Last year, we were able to meet our three daughters, Shalene, Nancy, and Jamie, at Project Zero’s Candyland Christmas event. Come

December, our adoption will be finalized, leaving three less waiting kids in foster care who were longing to be adopted. We are so excited to have them be forever a part of our family. If it wasn’t for Project Zero and their great partnership with DCFS where they host connection events, giving families and waiting kids an opportunity to meet, we would likely still be waiting to be matched with a child in foster care.

Nick Betheas Project Zero was absolutely vital to the process of Jordan and I adopting Kaiya and Devon. In the fall of 2017, we knew that God was calling us to adopt, but we honestly didn’t have a clue as to what that would look like. Before we knew it, we were in an information meeting for The Call to become foster parents, and by the summer of 2017, our home was opened. Although we knew God was calling us to adopt, we felt the need to have our home open to foster care as well.

It wasn’t long after our home was opened that we were immersed into the world of Project Zero and all that they do to help waiting children find their forever homes. In November of 2017, we were sent a video of Kaiya and Devon that was soon to be released by Project Zero. Immediately, we knew that these were the kids God had for us. After some time,

Kaiya a n d D e von c a m e into our home and we began the process of adoption. I am a firm believer that God used Project Zero to connect us with our children, and without them, we would have never known about Kaiya and Devon and their need for a forever home.

In August of 2018, Arkansas became “two less,” as Kaiya and Devon officially became members of our family. Jordan and I are forever indebted to Project Zero and their tenacious work to help these kids find homes. They are warriors for the Kingdom of God who daily go out and work diligently to take care of children who are in need. If there has ever been an organization that is worth supporting in any way, it’s Project Zero. Although I have written a lot about them, words can’t fully explain just how much this organization means to our family.

The Betheas

Thank you, Project Zero!

Searching for

incredible gifts?

New look, enhanced collection of gifts for the curious and creative of all ages in Curiosity Corner.

Your neighborhood toy store is packed with toys and games that are interactive, inspirational, educational and just plain fun.

Members receive 10% off all purchases.

Curiosity Corner is open during museum operating hours free of charge, admission to the museum is not required to shop.

Visit your neighborhood Toy Store!

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SUPER HERO SMILES ARE HERE!

Kids get a free Super Hero cape when they say, “I have the Super Hero power of Kindness!”

Smile-Shoppe.com Fayetteville (479) 966-4100 Springdale (479) 756-6377 16 November 2019

Bentonville (479) 876-8883 Rogers (479) 631-6377

Personal generosity.

Natural beauty.

Real community.

And new growth.

Mercy now cares for kids on our new Springdale campus.

With Mercy’s pediatric care close to home, it doesn’t matter whether you’re dealing with scrapes, sniffles, school or sports physicals, or annual check-ups.

You’re covered in Springdale.

Find your child’s Mercy pediatrician at mercy.net/SpringdaleKids

Mercy Clinic Pediatrics 4600 Mercy Lane l Springdale, AR 72762 (Intersection of Elm Springs Road and 48th Street)

Your life is our life’s work.

18 November 2019

Must-Shop Booths at the NWA Boutique Show

crate + willow

www.crateandwillow.com We’re a specialty gift box boutique, designed to elevate your gifting and celebrate all life’s special occasions. At crate + willow, we make it our mission to create gifts for every occasion that are thoughtful, beautiful, and personal. The result is a perfectly curated gift that will leave your clients feeling cherished and appreciated... all the result of a super easy process that will integrate gifting into your workflow without the stress.

Instagram: crateandwillow / Pinterest: crateandwillow Email: hello@crateandwillow.com

The Pink Pebble

www.shoppinkpebble.com “Pebbles, maybe one day I can be a stayat-home cat mom” was the sentence that started it all. Inspired by Pebbles’ playful spirit, loving nature and curiosity for all things, cat mom Brandy and her calico cat bring you the Pink Pebble, a boutique where we hope both mothers and daughters alike will find pretty little things they just can’t resist. We offer edgy and sophisticated women’s styles that are sure to turn heads!

Instagram: shoppinkpebble Pinterest: shoppinkpebble

Diana Montanez Wellness Advocate (479) 282-4877 diamantedi.doterra@gmail.com http://my.doterra.com/dianamontanez2 Facebook: Oils: Life Changer!

Instagram: oils_life_changer Essential Oils Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade

Exclusive Eye

www.theexclusiveeye.com Exclusive Eye is your go-to place for exceptional eye care and exclusive eyewear needs. Our goal is to keep you see and look your best! We love helping you find your style with one of our many independent designer frame lines, including Gold & Wood, Bevel, Modo, Article One, and OVVO. Stop in for all of your eye care and eyewear needs, exclusively at Exclusive Eye!

Must-Shop Booths at the NWA Boutique Show Continued...

Lori Holland and Kandace Bowen Independent Beauty Guides with LimeLife by Alcone www.limelifebyalcone.com/LoriHolland • Lrkh@mac.com www.limelifebyalcone.com/Kandace • Skbowen@cox.net We are Independent beauty guides with LimeLife by Alcone, and we love helping others feel beautiful, loved, and confident.

We love wearing and sharing LimeLife’s harsh-chemical-free, cruelty-free skin care, as well as their vibrantly beautiful, high-pigment professional makeup that has been used in Hollywood since the 1950’s, and continues to be used to this day. LimeLife is family-owned and passionate about helping empower women and men!

Femme Fatale Boutique Femme Fatale is a unique boutique specializing in timeless feminine styles with a vintage flair, carrying sizes XS to 6XL. We believe every woman should channel her inner vintage vixen!

Officially launching at NWA Boutique Show, currently located inside Olen & Co Market.

Tontitown Winery

www.tontitownwinery.com Local Grapes, Local Wine! We have weekly live music events, with an event venue that is perfect for reunions, Christmas parties, and showers. Free wine tasting, 7 days a week. Our wines are made on-site from local Tontitown-grown grapes. Local wine, craft beer, hard cider, and wine accessories.

335 N Barrington Rd, Springdale, AR (479)361-8700 Facebook: Tontitown Winery

Facebook @FemmeFataleFS Instagram @Femme_FataleFS Website www.femmefatalefs.com www.olenandcomarket.com

Freckled Hen Farmhouse www.freckledhenfarmhouse.com

Freckled Hen Farmhouse is a modern-day general store brimming with thoughtful gifts and home goods to last a lifetime. Freckled Hen is open 7 days a week and located at 840 N. College Avenue in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Stop by and peruse their beautiful home decor, delicious gourmet foods, unique seasonal goods, and wide selection of gift ideas for anyone on your list!

Instagram: @thefreckledhenfarmhouse Pinterest: Freckled Hen Farmhouse 20 November 2019

davidadams.com

100 West Center, Ste 101 Fayetteville 479-444-7778

Must-Shop Booths at the NWA Boutique Show Continued...

Bows for Babes www.shopbowsforbabes.com facebook.com/shopbowsforbabes instagram.com/shopbowsforbabes Shop Bows for Babes is a mama-made, babe-inspired online bow-tique out of Fayetteville, AR! We offer headwraps, bows, and top knots for infants through children!

Darcy Apparel Darcy Apparel is a clothing and accessory boutique located in the beautiful and historic downtown Fayetteville, AR. Started in 2017 by Darcy Munoz, Darcy Apparel is a curation of unique and classic styles by emerging designers from around the US and the world, and Darcy recently launched namesake line, “Darcy Collection.”

Women of all ages and backgrounds can find something to love.

Vivlio Photography Stories and images are incredibly powerful, and they can shape how we see ourselves. I want kids to see themselves on their walls and in their photo albums as all of the amazing things they dream they could be. I want to preserve forever the magic and fun of their childhood imagination. I want them to take these traits into adulthood and pass them on to tiny humans of their own.

Creative portrait photographer that specializes in Imagination Sessions that capture the magic of childhood. vivliophoto@gmail.com vivliophoto.com

instagram @darcyapparel website darcyapparel.com 34 East Center Street Fayetteville AR

Other Great Boutiques You Won’t Want to Miss

22 November 2019

Revival Journals

Kelly’s Soaps

Oh Baby Boutique

Kindness & Joy Toys

Scriblezz Creations

Kinsey Designs

Socks Plus

Kyya Chocolate

Southern Drift Apparel

Arkansocks

Southern Sass Designs

Arkie Apparel

Katiebugs Kids

Art and Soul

CHILDREN CAN DEVELOP THE SAME MENTAL HEALTH CONDITIONS AS ADULTS, BUT SYMPTOMS MAY BE DIFFERENT. Children can develop all of the same mental health conditions as adults, but may express them differently. This can make them more difficult to identify.

If you believe that your child may be struggling with a mental health condition, a research study could be an option. Children ages 12 and older that qualify and participate receive care from doctors and other medical staff and no cost. Compensation for time and travel expense may also be available.

Consider a research study for your child.

To learn more call:

479.231.3051

WHAT SHOULD YOU WATCH FOR IN YOUR CHILD FOR SIGNS OF A MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION? Drastic changes in behavior or personality like frequent fighting, out-of control-behavior, and overwhelming fear can be warning signs.

Feelings of withdrawal and sadness lasting 2 weeks or more or severe mood changes that affect home or school life.

Headaches and stomachaches may develop over sadness and anxiety.

Trouble sitting still or focusing at school leading to poor grades could be a warning sign.

F.F.P.O R

ecently, after attending a church service, I overheard the pastor say to a member of the congregation, “He’s FFPO; we don’t see him much.” The gentleman asked him what ‘FFPO’ meant, to which the clergy answered, “FFPO... For Funeral Purposes Only.” Meaning, this dude was a member of the church, but would only attend when someone literally carried him in. Dang, brother...

(I mean, Father... wait, it wasn’t a Catholic church, so ‘brother’ works!) that’s kinda harsh! However, it does ring true... and pretty loudly for me. Please read on.

(apparently Whales and Cheez-Its are not the same thing), proper vacuum usage (when you use the wood floor setting on a shaggy rug, bad things happen... bad things) and, my new favorite, assessments -- which led me to learn a whole new arsenal of curse words.

Now, I’m not a church FFPO. I regularly attend, because I regularly offend, and since my only hope for an afterlife is tied to the Almighty having a really great sense of humor, I try to keep up my views from the pews. However, in other areas of life, it could be argued, quite successfully, that I’m occasionally FFPO... meaning ‘For Funding Purposes Only.’ You know, like those t-shirts that say, “My Kid and My Money go to the University of Arkansas” or “Dance Dad: I come, I clap, I pay.”

No, I don’t have either of those – but only because my daughter no longer dances, and doesn’t attend the U of A.

I know what you’re thinking: what kind of a moron is this guy? Answer: I’m the FFPO kind. The kind that feels when the five o’clock bell rings, he is done for the day (though, to be fair, we all know that never happens in NWA) and “funding” is done.

Now, before you totally disown me, know that there are certain jobs I perform outside of my “real job” (always be careful with how you define that one, fellas). I’m pretty good at doing the dishes, dusting, and sorting laundry. Why? Because in our local wholesale/retail industry insanity, you are never “done,” and even if you were, there isn’t time to stop and admire your work. Not so with, for example, doing the dishes. You can look down, see they are all done, and feel a sense of accomplishment (yeah, I know it doesn’t take much to give me a warm fuzzy). But my all-time favorite domestic duty is ironing. Yep, ironing. Why, you ask? Because the Queen and I have had a long-standing agreement: I’ll iron as long as the only people in the room are Elijah Craig (the bourbon) and James Bond (the movie).

This month, the leader of the house (my wife) became quite ill, and many tasks not normally assigned to me found their way onto my plate.

Example: Instead of simply providing some of the household income, I was now in charge of doling it out. That required me to write a check; something I haven’t done THIS CENTURY! Yes, for reals. Do you know the color of my checkbook?

I didn’t either... until last week. I hope you don’t know any of our account passwords, but if you do, can you text them to me? Because I don’t! Did you know that one of our kids is allergic to Benadryl?

Me neither... and now I just have to remember which one. I’ve learned all sorts of new things about backflow testing, lunch box distribution 24 November 2019

“... in other areas of life, it could be argued, quite successfully, that I’m occasionally FFPO... meaning ‘For Funding Purposes Only.’”

Okay, big shock: I’m rambling. My point and my discovery and my reason for writing is this: I may think I’m the GOAT (Greatest of All Time), but the family is better with me being the JOAT (Jack of All Trades), and being FFPO on any level is a really bad idea. Yes, you need to help fund the house, but make sure you also help run the house.

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Symphony of Northwest Arkansas Paul Haas, Music Director SoNA & Walton Arts Center present

The Snowman: A Family Concert

SUNDAY DEC. 22, 2019 – 2PM $ 10 Walton Arts Center SoNA musicians bring to life the magical score from the award-winning film The Snowman during this unforgettable performance for children of all ages!

Sponsored by the Willard & Pat Walker Charitable Foundation Image © Snowman Enterprises Limited (thesnowman.com)

Tickets On Sale Now! / sonamusic.org / 479.443.5600

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The Path by: Carla Tate Our path is less traditional than some, but, as most families formed by adoption, we ended up in the same place. My husband, Vince, and I married in 1992, and together we decided that we would work for several years before adding to our family of two.

I must state that this decision was not supported by either set of our parents, who were longing for grandchildren! I gave birth to our first daughter, Ellery, in March of 2000. As many couples who end up pursuing adoption or other ways of growing their family, we assumed that when we were ready, we would have another child. Unexpectedly, we found ourselves facing the perils of miscarriages and infertility. Since we already had a birth child, we were able to modify our dreams fairly easily, so when Ellery turned four, we started the process to adopt a baby girl from China.

We researched different agencies and spoke with friends and “friends of friends” who had pursued a Chinese adoption. We decided to contract with Dillon International in Tulsa. Unfortunately, just as we were going through the long and tedious task of putting together the dossier required for a Chinese adoption, the system became very slow. What started out as a 10 to 12 month wait became a fourand-a-half year process. We were finally matched with a baby, however, and Willa Rose, who was eight months old, became part of our family in March of 2010. As expected, we were all in love with her immediately. Ellery’s dream of being an older sister was complete, and so was our family.

After a few years, things began to change within our family. My father was diagnosed with Lewy

Body Dementia and needed to be in an assisted living situation, so my mother moved in with us.

My husband and I were both working full-time and I was attending graduate school for the second time. Ellery was fourteen years old, and Willa was beginning kindergarten. Some time that year, we received an update letter from Dillon International.

It was regarding children from Colombia who were going to be visiting Dallas on a trip and were eligible for adoption. As I read the information, I began to start thinking of a third child, which I had not done before. My husband also read the information and we discussed the possibilities. We agreed that we could add one more child to our family, but not several. There was a picture of a little black-haired girl with a shy smile that kept calling to me. Colombian adoptions had just opened up to foreign countries, all the children were at least nine years old, and there were many sibling groups. We had a long list of reasons that this would not be a good idea. I felt that God had put this plan on my heart, but I questioned if He understood all that I had going on at the time.

A year passed, and our family was more settled with our new living arrangements when Dillon International sent an update on the children from Colombia. Several of the children who had visited Dallas had been adopted and now had a forever home. I was so thankful to read that, but I studied the list to see if that sweet little 14-yearold girl was still on the list... and she was! When my husband got home from work, I told him that Dillon International had sent an update. His first words were, “Is she still on the list?” Feeling the

nudge from God, we decided to request more information. Since we were already clients of DI, we were able to receive more background and her history. We discovered that the little girl we had been praying for was named Lucy. She had been in foster care since she was nine years old. Now, at fifteen years old, she desperately wanted a family of her own and was willing to leave her native country to find it. We later found out that she would age out of the foster care system in Colombia at age sixteen.

we navigated the adjustments and changes, and are now on the other side of it. To her credit, Lucy is easy to love... she is a good kid with high morals and good behavior. Our other daughters, Ellery and Willa, were able to share their sisterly bond with Lucy. There were many tears during the first year, but now she feels that our family is home, and she does not wish to return to her life before she was a Tate. My husband and I feel that, as time goes on and we have experiences together as a family, we get closer and Lucy feels more included.

For those families who have adopted, whether foreign or domestic, there is a tremendous amount of paperwork collected to complete a dossier. This includes lab work, psychiatric evaluations, and social work visits, as well as fingerprinting that is processed by the FBI. We traveled to Houston to get our Colombian visas and they were stolen out of our car while we were eating dinner! Our process from the point that we decided to adopt Lucy to actually traveling to Colombia was about a year. We left in November of 2015 and returned home right before Christmas. I was in Colombia for two weeks, and Vince was there for four weeks.

The requirements for in-country processing and court is more time-consuming in Colombia than it is in China.

Lucy has been with us for almost four years. She is fluent in English, and has even helped others by translating. In the spring of 2019, she graduated from Rogers High School, and is attending NWACC while working part-time. Currently, she is living at home with her family.

Becoming a family is difficult, and sometimes the process of adoption can add additional challenges, but I really believe that there are no “traditional” families. We form our families with our support systems, the people we love, and the children that God calls us to raise. Regardless of the age of the child, they all require the same things: love, patience, and safety. Consider a teenager that desires a family.

The people who ask me when we got to meet Lucy are surprised when I tell them that we met her for the first time when she was left with us in a village named Popyan in Colombia. Lucy came to us as a cautious, yet determined young girl.

She did not speak English, and we did not speak Spanish, though we were tutored to prepare for the adoption. Google Translate was our best friend! I often wonder what she thought it would be like to be in a family in the United States compared to the reality. My husband and I were in awe of her bravery. Remember... she was leaving behind her familiar language, culture, food, music, smells, sounds, and her friends. Girlfriends are extremely important to a teen girl!

It is funny to me the differences in reactions you get when you tell your friends that you are adopting a baby, and the ones that you get when you say you are adopting a 15-year-old that you have never met and speaks another language. There were a lot of confused looks, as well as the “Why on earth would you do that?” type of reactions. Our experience has been one of struggle and joy for all of us. Lucy had to adjust to every difference conceivable, while we had to adjust to another child and how she fit into our family at such a late age. We had missed the early stages of bonding, and she did not know how to rely on someone to take care of her. Together

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Amber J. Sills, MD | Amy Sarver, MD | Lisa Bearden, MD

500 SE Plaza Avenue Bentonville, Arkansas

28 November 2019

A Dad’s

Perspective

from a Foster/ Adoptive Dad by: Ryan Smith

“ I would love to adopt, but my husband just doesn’t know if he could love them the same as his own kids.” I’ve heard that quote in various forms too many times as I talk to women about how my wife and I came to have seven kids through foster care and adoption. It’s a quote that hurts me as a man to hear about other men, and I thought I’d take this chance to address it and share some of my experiences as a foster/adoptive dad.

It’s been a journey, and not always any easy one, but one I believe a lot more men can and should step up to do in order to fill the “gap.”

My journey started eleven years ago at a church in St. Louis when one of the elders shared the need for foster families, as he ran a non-profit that dealt 30 November 2019

mainly w i t h adoptions and Christian counseling.

My wife and I both looked at each other and said we needed to do something.

That “something” was starting a two-year international adoption process that never came through. In that long and often painful journey, we met Ann Meythaler, who runs The CALL here in NWA, and she opened our eyes, again, to the need for foster parents. We went through the process and opened our home, and over the last eight years have had 19 foster kids and adopted five. That was an incredibly brief retelling, given all the emotions and struggles of that journey, but I want to get back to the concerning quote above.

It’s a sad state when I hear from women who want to care for kids, and don’t, because they have men, often “Christian” men, in their lives who aren’t willing to take the step with them. We,

as men, need a change in our perspective of love and masculinity – which are positive attributes of men. Of course, there is not lack of political rhetoric on men and masculinity in the current environment, with the #MeToo movement and toxic masculinity on one side, and complaints of the over-feminization of society on the other. I have my thoughts on this, but right now I just want to ask men and fathers to be men and fathers in the best ways they see their male role models to be. Be fathers that expect more of themselves, and sacrifice for their family and others (including foster kids).

As I wrote the word ‘sacrifice,’ I realize it’s a word I don’t hear much, unless it’s people on Facebook talking about how they sacrificed to accomplish something for themselves.

I’m not here to knock self-development, don’t get me wrong, but what have you truly sacrificed lately for someone else? For some, it might feel self-indulgent to share a sacrifice for others publicly, but overall, I think it’s missing.

Society communicates often in the narrative of “do what makes you happy.” I want to talk for a minute about what that sacrifice looks like. This isn’t just what I’ve done, but what I’ve seen in the community of Christian foster parents. + Sometimes it’s not your career, but stability for your kids + Sometimes it’s not about your sports team, but reading a book + Sometimes it’s not about a new car, but therapy/counseling for your kids dealing with trauma

there is a child, one specific child, that needs a dad and masculine role model, displaying all the best in what makes man, today. It’s not some existential problem or ambiguous “they,” it’s a kid that needs this right now. They need it, and it’s a huge benefit, both to them and to the person willing to sacrifice for them.

To cover the “payoff,” I’m going to talk about my son, Jay. He came to us having just turned 3 years old. He had medical and psychological evaluations in his file three inches thick. I can’t cover all the details, but he only knew two words, he was found roaming his apartment complex at 2am, lived in absolute filth, and was known by multiple people as “the screamer” at the children’s shelter. You can probably guess at, but never understand, how hard that was to work with and the impacts we thought it might have on our biological kids. We worked with Jay and many others helped us. Fast forward to today, and he just finished third grade and his standardized test scores are right on average for his grade level. This is a kid who we didn’t even know whether he could learn to read at one time, but opening those test scores a couple of weeks ago brought an incredible wave of emotion.

On that note, I also want to add the benefit for us as men – what I mentioned before about “wrestling to uncover our better selves.” It’s not easy, but I think everyone who really pushes themselves in this, just like in any area of life where you don’t think you can succeed, finds another gear and a part of them that is greater than what they thought they had when life was “easy.” It is challenging, and it can be rough on marriages and biological kids, but in the end it adds another dimension to life that can’t be explained, only lived, and it’s fantastic.

+ Sometimes it’s not about golf, but letting your wife have a girls’ night + Sometimes it’s not about self-actualization, but molding a child that can finish first grade + Sometimes it’s not about fun, but wrestling to uncover our better selves

This is on a daily, and sometimes hourly, basis that you’re choosing something other than what you want.

So, as men and fathers, I’m saying we need to expect more and sacrifice – but why? I can say society needs it and be correct, but, more specifically,

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LO O K A N D F E E L

YO U R B E S T At Women’s Health Associates, we want you to feel confident about every aspect of your life, including how you look. That’s why we offer a number of aesthetic services designed to help you be your best self at every stage of your life.

FA C I A L S Designed to help you put your best face forward, let us help you discover a more beautiful and youthful-looking you. All facials include an in-depth skin analysis, cleansing and exfoliation of the neck, face, and décolleté.

Also Offering: Dermaplaning | Microneedling | Chemical Peels | Microdermabrasion

I N J E C TA B L E S A N D D E R M A L F I L L E R S As we age, our faces naturally lose subcutaneous fat and the “plump” look of our youth. Injectables and dermal fillers can be used to help diminish facial lines and restore volume and fullness in the face. Plump thin lips, enhance shallow contours, soften facial creases and wrinkles, and improve the appearance of recessed scars.

Offering: BOTOX® Cosmetic | JUVEDERM®

I N T I M AT E W E L L N E S S CO2RE Intima vaginal treatments help restore your vaginal health… and help you rediscover what you’ve lost. The procedure only takes a few minutes and many women report symptom relief after the very first treatment. The treatments use laser energy to stimulate healing and renewed collagen that results in increased elasticity and natural lubrication, decreased urine leakage, and more pleasurable sex.

B O DY C O N T O U R I N G Love the idea of reshaping your body, but not the reality of incisions or scars? Our non-invasive procedures don’t require any incisions and deliver noticeable results. The treatments work to improve the appearance of cellulite, reduce dimpled skin, and tighten skin on the abdomen, love handles, hips, thighs and other areas that require fat reduction. BodyFX addresses problematic fatty tissue in larger body areas such as the abdomen, back (flanks), and thighs. MiniFX addresses problematic fatty tissue in smaller areas like the neck, arms, and knees. Forma tightens the skin on the face, neck and hands.

Also offering: Photo facials with Lumecca | Laser Hair Removal | Waxing Spider Vein Treatment

500 SE PLAZA AVENUE BENTONVILLE, ARKANSAS

479-876-8111 www.whanwa.com 32 November 2019

For more information, visit www.cdc.gov/flu

Make an appointment for your child’s flu shot today!

(479) 442-7322 mana.md/pediatric-flu-clinic

3730 S. Pinnacle Hills Pkwy, Suite 3 Rogers | (479) 464-5597 Monday-Friday, 8am-5:30pm

3383 N. MANA Ct., Suite 101 Fayetteville | (479) 443-3471 Monday-Friday, 8am-5pm

3380 N. Futrall Drive Fayetteville | (479) 442-7322 Monday-Friday, 8am-7:30pm Saturday, 8am-11am

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2019

November Christmas Wish List Open House!

Kindness & Joy Toys November 1st-9th Wish Lists simplify holiday shopping and help friends and family find gifts that bring great JOY! For every wish list opened during the Open House, you will be entered to win gift certificates from Kindness & Joy Toys, Crown Beauty Bar, The Freckled Hen Farmhouse, and Wit & Whimsy! Christmas Wish Lists are a great way to let family and friends select a unique, age appropriate gift that they know the child wants and doesn’t already have. Wish Lists can be shopped online or in the shop located at 2852 N. College Ave.

Bentonville Dia de los Muertos Festival November 2 at 9am Museum of Native American History, Bentonville This year, Raices de Mexico will be sharing this tradition with the community of NWA. The festival will be taking place in the Museum of Native American History, and we will have a lot of activities during the day, including dance, music, food, art, crafts, and much more! FREE ADMISSION!

Moscow Ballet’s Great Russian Nutcracker November 3 Faulkner Performing Arts, Fayetteville This Christmas, give your family the gift of the Moscow Ballet’s Great Russian Nutcracker! Step into a simpler time, filled with sweet dreams and Christmas magic. With world-class artists, over 200

Library Story Times: Bentonville Public Library: bentonvillelibrary.org Fayetteville Public Library: faylib.org Springdale Public Library: springdalelibrary.org Rogers Public Library: rogerspubliclibrary.org Siloam Springs Library: siloamsprings.com

dazzling costumes, stunning sets, towering puppets, and soaring birds, don’t miss your chance to ring in the holidays with this acclaimed Christmas extravaganza.

Volunteers to Hand-pack 400,000 Lifesaving Meals November 7-9 Camp War Eagle Rogers Center, 2609 N Storage Parkway, Rogers Community members can support this MobilePack by volunteering to package food at the event. Volunteer registration is now open. visit fmsc.org/tacos4life

Art in the Park: Rogers November 9 at 1pm Lake Atalanta · Rogers Art in the Park is a day where people of all ages can come celebrate the new season with creative activities! Enjoy artmaking, local artist painting demonstrations, live music, soccer, and food and drinks.

Children’s Story Time November 15 from 10-11am The Peel Mansion, Bentonville Join us for Children’s Story Time at The Peel Mansion! The Bentonville Public Library is celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday with us. Storytime will include books read by a BPL librarian, songs, rhymes and creative fun! This program is free and open to the public.

Hurry Up... And Wait! November 16 at 3pm Trike Theatre, Bentonville This show is interactive and geared towards kids ages 2 to 5 years old. Run time: approximately 30 minutes with a 30-minute pre-show lobby activity.

Tickets: $6 / Children under 2: FREE

Healing Hearts Children’s Grief Workshop November 16 at 1:30pm Amazeum · Bentonville

This free workshop is designed for children who have lost a family member or loved one. Our art workshop provides a way for children to express their feelings in a creative and healing way. Open to children ages 7 years through 12 years. Pre-registration is required by November 14. Please call 479-872-3364 to register, or for more information. No charge to attend.

Bear Workshop: Super Science November 16 at 9:30am Amazeum · Bentonville, Arkansas Have you ever wondered about Superman’s ability to fly? Or maybe about how anyone but a superhero could make things move without touching them? We have some ideas!

Go up, up, and away with us using STEAM Choose from two workshop times, 9:30 to 11:30am or 1 to 3pm. Advanced registration and payment required. Registration closes at noon on November 15!

Create Your Own Fairy House November 18 from 6-8pm Botanical Garden of the Ozarks Looking to expand your fairy garden?

Bring your imagination and come build your very own ceramic fairy house with BGO Horticulturist and Ceramicist Adrian Leffingwell. We will be hand-building with earthenware and underglazes to create colorful magical structures. After the class, the pieces will be fired in a kiln and will be available to pickup at the garden approximately two weeks later. This is a great hands-on, family-friendly class! $45 for members / $55 for nonmembers.

Register at bgozarks.org

Fall Unicorn Cake Class November 19 at 6pm Rick’s Bakery, Fayetteville Buttercream cake decorating! Learn and decorate your own 8” single fall unicornthemed cake with our buttercream icing!

Learn techniques using icing tips and tools!

Create one all your own, or team up with a friend or family member and share it together! All supplies and instructions provided. Option of white or chocolate cake.

This is a kid-friendly class

Bentonville Lighting of the Square

November 23 at 4pm Downtown Bentonville When you see the square lit up with lights, that’s when you know the holidays are here.

This event is huge! Ice skating, pictures with

Santa, and live music downtownbentonville.org/event/lights

Moms at Markham November 26 at 6pm Markham & Fitz Chocolate · Bentonville Expecting? Already a mom? Every fourth Tuesday of the month, we’ll be hosting moms and moms-to-be for an evening of community building! Come share knowledge, hopes, fears, and dreams and meet other local moms. We’ll be offering a special non-alcoholic happy hour from 6 to 8pm, featuring our cacao fruit soda and NEW cocoa tea mocktails!

Dear Santa and Cookies for Santa November 30 at 11am Barnes and Noble, Rogers Join us for Storytime and activities featuring two books about cherished holiday traditions for families.

Christmas Tree of Books Lighting November 30 at 9am Once Upon a Time Books · Springdale Kick off the Christmas holiday by joining us at our first annual lighting of our Tree of Books!

There will be hot chocolate, light refreshments, door prizes, and a Christmas storytime with Santa Claus. We will also be celebrating #ShopSmallSaturday with a 25% in-store sale.

Christmas Parade of the Ozarks November 30 from 6-8pm E. Emma Avenue, Springdale This year’s theme is “Christmas Vacation.”

The Christmas parade will begin at 6pm at Parsons Stadium and head west down Emma Avenue. Come ring in the holiday season with us. The parade is a FREE event for the community. To enter a float, please visit our website Rodeooftheozarks.org and fill out an entry form to participate. We do not charge for participation, but we do have to have entry forms and releases!

38 November 2019

Dr. Averitt, Megan, Staci & and the staff of Best Start Pediatric Clinic would like to welcome our new Nurse Practitioner, Bessie Smith, APRN.

The Journey through Adoption - an Adoptive Mom’s Reflections -

by: Amanda Koval

My journey to become a mother is a tale of the typical early- to mid-thirties working woman’s journey through infertility. I spent my twenties earning my degrees and establishing my career, then shifted my focus to building my love life, and ultimately married in my early thirties. When we decided to have a child, it never crossed my mind that we would have challenges.

So, we did what any normal couple would do at this point: we ran away, and by ‘ran away’ I mean I called my husband one day and told him I needed a vacation, and that we were going to Hawaii the next week. Luckily, he was smart enough to comply with my crazy idea because he knew I had simply had enough, and that I needed a little distance from reality.

And boy, did we have challenges! But, I am a firm believer that anything is possible, so I Googled all the options and put together a plan. What I didn’t count on was the emotional pitfalls that would come with those plans. At times, it felt like someone was dropping a ton of bricks on our heads each time a plan would fail.

We started our adoption journey while sitting on the most peaceful beach on the North Shore of Oahu in Hawaii, because that was when we came to the realization that there was more than one way to “have a baby,” and that adoption was an amazing option that we had both been drawn to our entire lives. We knew nothing about adoption. I mean, sure, I had seen a few Lifetime movies and afterschool specials, but we didn’t really know anything.

The bricks seemed to pile up all around us at each step, from seven months of trying IUI, only to result in an ectopic pregnancy, to realizing that the one remaining tube was blocked; failed frozen embryo transfers; going through IVF to discover that none of the five beautiful embryos would result in viable pregnancies; the bricks just got heavier and heavier.

Yet again I Googled until my fingers fell off, and finally discovered that there were so many different types of adoption! They each had their own version of bricks that could potentially fall, however, so we weighed all the bricks carefully and decided that private domestic adoption was the right option

for us. Since we had had our hearts shattered so many times when we were going through our previous process, we went with the agency that had a financial risk sharing policy to protect ourselves, and (mistakenly) thought that would help protect our hearts, too.

After completing all the paperwork, we were ‘live,’ and the hurry-up-and-wait game began all over again. After being live just three months, we were matched, and she was due the next week! We were over the moon, we told everyone we knew, and drove to the hospital to be present for the birth.

We were in the hospital for a couple of days waiting to be allowed to leave, and on the day we were going to be allowed to leave, the attorney came with the paperwork. She informed us that it would be thirty days before the baby could be legally ours. This was a shock to us, as we had not been informed by our adoption agency of how long the revocation period was for this adoption. The attorney asked us if we wanted to change our minds, but I was so insulted, because this was my child. We signed the paperwork and left the hospital to begin our 30day wait.

The next brick dropped so slowly that it was the most crushing blow of all. It started with calls from the agency saying that the birth mom was feeling

blue. This went on for a few days, and then one morning they called us and said she changed her mind. I didn’t think it was possible, because she had signed the paperwork, but they reminded me that she had thirty days, and we were only on day 7. They told us that the attorney would come pick up the baby the next day.

That waiting time was the worst part of this entire journey... caring for a child who I knew in my heart was meant to be mine but wasn’t. So, during the next twelve hours, I had to pour a lifetime’s worth of love into this child. A child who will forever be mine in my heart, but that I knew I would never see again.

Then the moment came: the attorney knocked on the door to take the baby back. I still to this day do not know how I physically walked out of that room without my child. This brick wasn’t just the seventh brick that had broken our hearts; it was a full ton of bricks. This brick crushed my soul, my light, and quite frankly my willingness to consider that anything could ever work.

Continued on next page

This one made me question whether I could ever become a mother.

After what seemed liked the hundredth box of tissues, and a million months, we decided that since the adoption road was proving to be just as difficult as everything else, we should try the one remaining path we had on our plan: donor eggs and donor sperm. We did something that the adoption agencies warn you against: trying two plans at one time. We went through the process of picking out the donors, signed the paperwork, and were slated to go to the clinic on a Friday morning for the first appointment.

The night before the appointment, we got a phone call that would change our lives forever. We had been picked again, and the baby was born. The birth mom wanted to talk to us the next morning, at the exact same time we were to have the first appointment for the donor eggs. I legit felt like I was in a Lifetime movie at that moment. We were so excited, and scared beyond belief, but thanks to our previous challenges, we knew what questions to ask and realized that the risk in this situation was much lower. So, we decided to cancel the appointment at the fertility clinic and take the phone call.

When we got on the phone, I thought I was going to throw up, I was so nervous, but the conversation flowed so easily, and when the birth mother asked if we would be willing to adopt the baby we were overjoyed. I still cannot believe that our birth mother blessed us by choosing us to raise our daughter. The love we feel for our daughter’s birth mother is simply beyond measure. With that one choice, not only did she change our lives forever, but somehow, she managed to turn each brick into dust. We were no longer weighed down by the past, and so hopeful for the future.

Then, we decided to risk our hearts one more time.

When our daughter was one-and-a-half years old, we decided that it was time to adopt again. This time, we knew what to expect, and we knew that we had another heart we had to protect in the journey. Going in eyes wide open and knowing what a blessing adoption is allowed us to survive the failed matches this time around. After waiting for a little over a year, we had reached the point where we decided that our family was complete and that we were not going to adopt again after all. Being a busy working mom, I had scheduled time on my calendar to make the phone call to the agency while I was on my commute to pick up our daughter from school.

Then, it happened! During the middle of a meeting, 42 November 2019

my phone started ringing and it was the adoption agency. My hands instantly began shaking. I just knew this was it, that they had found our baby, but I was so nervous... could I really do this again?

When I answered the phone, I instantly started crying because there was a calm still voice in me telling me that this was it -- this was the phone call that would change our lives.

A birth mother had picked us again! She was due in two weeks and wanted to meet us in person before delivery. My goodness, was that nerve-wracking.

I must have picked out ten different outfits, and went over everything I wanted her to know about us in my head about a million times. Then, we met her, and I felt an instant connection, so instant that I immediately hugged her. She was amazing, the conversation flowed so easily, and we dreamed together about what our son’s life would be like.

We still feel so blessed that she made the amazing choice to pick us to be his parents.

When I started the journey to motherhood, I never imagined that it would be so difficult and that it would take the amazing selfless love of two women to make me a mother. I learned so much on my journey, and now I am very passionate about teaching from my experience to help other women reach their goal of motherhood.

Amanda Koval is an adoptive mom of two children whose passion is to help other women through the adoption process.

To schedule a free consultation, visit www.adoptingafitlife.com

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Shared Beginnings Story by: Michaela Montie Arkansas was an unknown place for us. It wasn’t like, if I had to pick any place in the world to live, I’d live…in Arkansas. The first time I saw Arkansas was in front of a moving van in 2012. My husband had been laid off a month earlier and applied for jobs all over the country, and God landed us here.

I started a job for Walmart less than a month after we moved in. Things just seemed to fit, in a supernatural way.

I’d always wanted to adopt growing up. I never had a desire to birth children, but to help protect and love on children who needed homes instead.

My husband, Scott, took a bit more convincing.

In early 2013, we began exploring our adoption options. We chose a route that several other couples in our church were walking with a local private attorney. Paperwork was filled out in April 2013, and in August 2013 I called to check in, and heard, “I have a baby boy for you.” I should have seen some red flags, but, being an elated first-time mom and adopter, I was over the moon. He was due in a few months, and we could meet his birth family soon. They didn’t speak much English, as they were first-generation Marshallese immigrants living here in Springdale.

That first meeting was awkward. We met at Golden 46 November 2019

Corral. It was crowded and noisy, and we just did a lot of sitting and looking at one another. Again, I was so overjoyed to meet them, though, honestly, my husband was still nervous.

That was the only time we met before Asher William Montie made his appearance after 10pm on Halloween night in 2013! That’s when we discovered his first momma hadn’t had help getting to prenatal appointments, or help with other social services. Asher had to undergo quite a bit of testing to ensure he was healthy after not receiving care in the womb. He still has ongoing asthma and severe allergy issues that I believe were potentially preventable. I blamed myself for this, for not seeing signs earlier and stepping in to help.

The time at the hospital was sweet but stressful. We enjoyed sharing him with his birth family, but still had a large language gap and cultural barrier separating us.

During Asher’s first year, we didn’t have much contact with his birth family because that’s what our attorney advised.

As I grew in my knowledge of open

adoption and the benefits, I decided to reach out just before his first birthday.

We began to visit and bring groceries, Christmas gifts, school supplies, etc. In the future, I wanted to tell him that we were in this to help not just him but his first family as well. It’s amazing to see the bonds of siblings grow over the years, even if they have different forever parents.

About that time, two other ladies and I decided to bring an organization called Project Zero to NWA. Project Zero is a nonprofit based in Little Rock that advocates for kids in the foster care system who are waiting to find their forever families.

Scott and I decided to open through foster care so that we’d be ready should another situation come up where a child needed a home. In October of 2015, right as Asher was about to turn two, a picture of a little girl captured our hearts. It was her ‘heart gallery’ photo shown through Project Zero, and I immediately texted Christie Erwin, the director, and said, “What’s her name?” “Bless,” she said, and I gasped. Asher’s name means “blessing.”

(who they probably weren’t sure was my child) was screaming uncontrollably.

Three weeks into that transition, Asher’s birth mom reached out. She was pregnant, and wanted to know if we could take the baby because she wasn’t in a position to care for it right now. How do you say no? Of course, we had a screaming, scared little girl we had just brought home, a son who was at the doctor about every two weeks, and now... another one? I think Scott and I stared at each other for two full days letting that sink in.

We said YES! This sweet precious little one was Asher’s biological brother! We were already so in love. This time, though, it would be different. I helped transport her to every doctor’s visit. I helped apply for WIC and SNAP and other government and community programs. I viewed this as a dedicated seven months I could pour into her and her family. Her English was much improved in the past few years, so interactions were much easier.

Baby Kade Thompson Montie was born in June of 2016. Everyone was overjoyed. This was Mya’s (still Bless at the time) sweet spot. In her foster home,

Story continues on the next page

Within three weeks, we were driving down to Little Rock to meet her. All the feels - nervousness, anxiety, excitement. Asher and Bless hit it off immediately. Their love for the movie Frozen and chasing each other around Chuck E. Cheese was adorable. In two more weeks, we were driving down again to bring her back to our home.

That transition was rough, to put it lightly. We discovered lots of things. Mya (then Bless) had underdeveloped muscle tone and needed occupational therapy. She had food allergies we didn’t know about, a fear of dogs when we had two small ones, and she had no idea what most foods were. She had been very neglected, and there was a lot of trauma to work through. Needless to say, we spent a lot of time in public with people wondering why my child

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place! The adoption benefit and reimbursement is now available to over 2.2 million associates across the nation.

Now what? Well, not more kids, that’s for dang sure! But I knew I still wanted to continue advancing public knowledge of open adoption and supporting moms who had chosen to make an adoption plan for their child. she stayed in the baby room and cared for them, so this helped bring balance back into her little five-year-old life.

Asher was beaming to be an older brother. Scott and I were happy, but still at the brink of our sanity. Three kids! Seriously, everything they tell you about going from two to three is TRUE. Watch out! Two mobile and one completely dependent.

It was tough.

Mya’s adoption day finally came! With a private adoption in Arkansas, an adoption is usually finalized within 2 to 3 weeks. In foster care, the child has to be with you for at least 6 months before they can officially join your family. After Kade’s court date, not a week went by that Mya Bless didn’t ask when she would “be a Montie” or get to “go see the judge.” It finally happened in September 2016 in Little Rock! Her name changed to Mya Bless Montie.

We were officially ‘Montie Family of 5.’ All three kids had come to us within two and a half years.

Yes... we are crazy. We have tremendous long distance family support and have found great support in the NWA community.

All this time, we maintained our corporate jobs. I had been working to help make some changes in Walmart’s adoption benefits. When we walked through all our adoptions, I was only able to take FMLA leave and get paid for two weeks. In no way should my child be treated less like my child than if I birthed them. After three years of holding adoption awareness events at the Home Office, the announcement came in January 2018! I was able to act as a local spokesperson for the news and was elated to see this historical change take

In March 2018, two other local attorneys (Josh Bryant and Andrea McCurdy) came together to talk about what we could do. Our conclusion – legislation reform and a nonprofit birth mother support center. Shared Beginnings was founded in April 2018, and in December 2018 Shared Beginnings received our licensure to become an adoption agency in Arkansas – the first one to be founded in the last ten years. Act 1022 was passed in February 2019.

At Shared Beginnings, we are a mom-first organization. The public dialogue is usually parenting or abortion. We want women to know there is a third option. We are a small but mighty band of women – adoptive moms, birth moms, social workers, and attorneys – who want to see women who choose to make an adoption plan honored for their choice.

Any birth mother can receive support services through Shared Beginnings. Our goal is to use the time of pregnancy to provide education, support, legal protection, access to medical care, and more, so families reach a place of stability and are thriving. We are open to any expectant mom who thinks adoption might be right for her and her baby.

One of our areas of expertise is in helping Marshallese mothers who are acclimating to Western culture. The Marshallese culture is one of sharing, so open adoption (contact between adoptive parents and birth families) is a must.

If you’d like to donate, or get involved in any way, you can follow us on our Instagram or Facebook page and send us a message or email us at michaela@sharedbeginnings.org.

48 November 2019

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Shared Beginnings

Continued

Adoption Fraud.

Human Trafficking.

Very scary words. On October 9, news broke locally. An adoption attorney, Mr. Paul Petersen, was being indicted on 72 federal felonies across the states of Arkansas, Arizona, and Utah. These indictments included: sale of a child, human trafficking, fraud and breaking immigration policies with the Republic of the Marshall Islands... leaving nearly 33+ expectant moms and hopeful adoptive families in the dark as to what to do or where to turn.

That’s what the news said. Here’s the impact to our community.

Nineteen of those expectant moms, and some of their families, live here in Arkansas, most in NWA-- in our backyard. Some are single mothers.

Some were flown here for the promise of a better life, but then were housed in tiny apartments with no furniture. Some fled in fear when news of Mr. Petersen and his associate’s arrest broke. Some are working to maintain normalcy and carry on at their jobs to feed their families.

This is the personal impact.

Expectant moms and their families are STILL living in temporary motel rooms. Families had been separated with false promises of being reunited. A single mom is here in a foreign country, listening to a foreign language with six kids waiting for her and counting on her coming back to the Marshall Islands. Fear. Uncertainty.

Some of these adoptions will move forward. Some of these ladies have decided to parent. But all are

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now being given CHOICE in theirs and their babies’ futures.

A few local organizations have come together to provide support for these expectant moms and their families. To provide hope and a safe haven.

Shared Beginnings’ goal is to offer services to any expectant mom seeking to make an adoption plan or any birth mom in need of support. In collaboration with the Marshallese community, HARK, Community Clinic, other local health systems and vendor offices, the NWA community is stepping up to help meet basic needs such as laundry detergent and toilet paper, along with longer term needs like housing, jobs and more.

If you’d like to sponsor one of these families for the holidays, or find out other needs, visit www.facebook.com/ SharedBeginnings.

For monetary donations to assist in helping these families get long term stable housing and resources, go to www.sharedbeginnings.org/ donatenow.

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y t i n u m m o C

NEWS

Short and Sweet Plans for Outdoor Destination in Bentonville Unveiled Foundation-Supported Osage Park Will Offer Adventure-Based Recreational Opportunities The Walton Family Foundation recently unveiled plans for Osage Park – an adventure-based outdoor destination in Bentonville that will engage and excite visitors of all ages, interests, and abilities. Once complete, the urban park will offer opportunities to fish, explore the wetlands, and enjoy local music. The park will help meet the demand for recreational green spaces south of Walton Boulevard, where 58 percent of residents currently live, according to the City of Bentonville.

“Osage Park will deliver a unique outdoor experience for visitors by creating a gathering place near Thaden Field and Lake Bentonville Park,” said 52 November 2019

Steuart Walton. “Our community’s environment also stands to benefit as the park will preserve additional green space and improve water quality in the Illinois River Watershed.”

Osage Park will be located on 55 acres on I Street near Thaden Field. Aviation, art, and preservation are the themes that inspired the park’s design. The current lake will be expanded by more than 6 acres for kayaking, canoeing, and paddleboarding and will include multiple piers, platforms and banks for fishing. There will be a diverse range of amenities, including a multipurpose lawn, an aviation-

C O M M U N I T Y

themed play active zone, pickleball courts, multiuse trails, and floating boardwalks that offer a firsthand look at the site’s 12-acre wetland system. The park will also feature an open pavilion, intimate music venue, and 84 parking spaces.

The connectivity between Osage Park and Lake Bentonville Park, which is currently under renovation, will enhance the overall outdoor experience. At Lake Bentonville Park, visitors will be able to take advantage of an expanded lake, a destination playground and a pavilion with boardwalks and fishing piers. For further accessibility, both parks will have ADA-compliant parking lots.

“The renovation of Lake Bentonville, when paired with the seamless connection to the new Osage Park, will prove more than the traditional park opening,” said David Wright, City of Bentonville director of parks and recreation. “These nextgeneration parks will provide our citizens public spaces that will have an immediate impact on our community. From preserving wetlands to providing areas for social and passive recreation, Osage Park and Lake Bentonville will offer something everyone can enjoy.”

The Walton Family Foundation is supporting the development of Osage Park and improvements to Lake Bentonville Park as part of its efforts to improve quality of life in Northwest Arkansas.

Select areas of Osage Park are scheduled to open to the public summer 2020.

The Story Behind Arkansas Youth Anglers by: Luci Johnson I started Arkansas Youth Anglers 5 years ago when I quickly realized that there was a need for it in our area for high school fishing. I started with 12 kids – six boats of 9th-12th graders. The organization quickly grew to 36 high schoolers, then 54, and as of 2019 we have 128 junior and high schoolers grades 5th-12th. As we continue to grow, so does our need to run tournaments of this size. We became a nonprofit, 501(3)c, last year in order to help get funds for this program and to continue to grow.

Arkansas Youth Anglers meet once a month at AQ Chicken in Springdale and host one tournament per month. Our tournaments are anywhere from

N E W S

Arkansas, Oklahoma or Missouri, from lakes such as Dardenelle to Table Rock. We host a championship in late April / early May where all cash and prizes are donated to the anglers.

Hosting meetings and tournaments is a passion and completely done by volunteers. I love to watch how these kids grow from the start of the year to the end of each year. We have many businesses, and parents and grandparents who help to support the organization in every way possible from financial to emotional and physical or just what ever we may need.

To learn more about the Arkansas Youth Anglers visit us on facebook, snapchat, instagram or our website www.arkansasyouthanglers.com

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Hope Academy Charter Approved The Arkansas Department of Education (ADE) has approved an open-enrollment charter school to be housed on the campus of the Northwest Arkansas Children’s Shelter (NWACS).

Hope Academy of Northwest Arkansas is designed to serve children who have experienced significant childhood trauma. It will be the first school of its kind in Arkansas and one of the first schools of its kind in the United States. “Since 1993, the Shelter has provided safety and love to children who have been abused and neglected,” said Maury Peterson, NWACS Executive Director. “In 1998, with the addition of our on-site school, we also began meeting the unique educational needs of the children in our care. What is now known as trauma-informed education is something that we have been practicing for more than 20 years.”

At Hope Academy, trauma is defined as “detrimental events that have occurred in a child’s life that significantly impact the child’s ability to cognitively and behaviorally function in a classroom setting.” Hope Academy will focus on students who have experienced abuse, neglect and other adverse childhood experiences including the death of a parent or caregiver, exposure to substance abuse in the home, homelessness, living in a chronically chaotic environment, etc. Small classroom settings in which specially-trained teachers provide personalized, trauma-informed instruction will give these students the best chance to succeed.

Hope Academy will accept students from all across Northwest Arkansas who are most in need of a trauma-informed educational setting.

Applications will be available in January 2020 with an application deadline of the end of February 2020. An admissions lottery will be conducted if applications received exceed the number of available slots in each classroom. Hope Academy is set to open to grades K-3 for the 2020/2021 school year. The goal of the charter is to add grades each year until it is K-6 with a capacity of 70 students by the 2023-2024 school year.

“Children who have experienced significant trauma need to feel safe and loved,” said Jake.

54 November 2019

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In fact most of the the succulents in the arrangements are born and raised in Bentonville, AR. These long lasting, custom succulent arrangements, are Peekaboo’s Must Have Product for the holiday season (and all year long!) succulent/evergreen wreaths for the holidays as well.

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By: Tiphanie Gurwell Project Zero Outreach Coordinator, NWA projectzeronwa@gmail.com

+ There are approximately 345 children and teens in Arkansas waiting to be adopted + Nearly 200 teens will “age out” of foster care each year + Adoption out of foster care is FREE (some small fees may apply) Project Zero, a local non-profit, in partnership with the Department of Children and Family Services has a mission to see every waiting child in the Arkansas foster care system, find their forever family through adoption. Most people are unaware that adoption out of foster care exists or that adoption out of foster care is free. When a child enters foster care and reunification is no longer an option, their goal will then become adoption, and this is where Project Zero comes in. +

About Project Zero: The mission of Project Zero is to diligently and enthusiastically promote adoption through the foster care system with the ultimate goal of finding a forever family for every child who is waiting. We do this in three strategic ways.

1. Raising Awareness about the

need for adoptive families through the Arkansas Heart Gallery’s online exhibit and three traveling exhibits, through short films featuring waiting kids, and through promotional products and speeches.

2. Building Hope in and relationships with waiting children/teens through exciting monthly events filled with new experiences.

3. Helping to C onnect waiting

children/teens with the right forever family through our partnership with Arkansas DCFS, through ‘connection’ events that bring waiting families and waiting children together, and through oneon-one interaction with interested and waiting families.

Jabarious is full of happy, positive energy and loves to play and

cuddle. That’s Jabarious! He has some physical and developmental challenges that his Adoption Specialist can go through with you when you ask about adopting him, but we can tell you this – nothing keeps Jabarious down. He is what you see... a gentle, happy, caring young man who needs you. He has a developmental disability waiver, so he has a host of supports and services that will follow him post-adoption, so you’ll never be alone as you love and care for Jabarious. His team has taken him on a great path and he’s growing and developing at an amazing pace with almost everything he needs to thrive. The only thing he’s missing is you. Look into his big brown eyes and imagine seeing his smiling face looking back into yours as you celebrate milestones and make memories together. That’s the good stuff, y’all, and Jabarious is ready to know the security and love that a home like yours can provide.

58 November 2019

Our waiting kids have been through more than some of us can fathom, and they need and deserve to be loved, protected and given stability. They are not “troubled,” they have trauma, and that healing process will take patience and grace from a family who is willing to be in it forever, through good and bad. These kids deserve a chance to be cared for and not forgotten. They are not disposable, they need and desire to be loved just like any other child in the world.

We want nothing more than to see ZERO waiting children, but we can’t do this alone. We need the local community members to join us in this cause. We believe waiting kids deserve the best while they wait, which is why our events are geared to making every waiting child feel as special as possible. I think the biggest need right now for DCFS is more open homes with families who are willing to consider all waiting kids, including teens and those with special needs. We need people who are willing to make a small sacrifice to say YES! It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

To learn more about Project Zero and how you can get involved, visit TheProjectZero.org

Travis and Emily

Meet Emily and Travis. These two need a forever home filled with laughter and love, but also with an understanding that with time and therapy, they will find their safety again and their minds won’t be ruled by fear. Trust is the only way to find safety and we all know that trust takes time to build. Despite all they have been through, these kids are still resiliently living.

They both love to read and be outside. Travis, specifically, enjoys riding his bike outside.

Emily loves to help do things and is a natural encourager. She has been known to make encouraging notes for others and leave them for her peers to bring them a smile. Emily and Travis are waiting for their forever home with a forever mom and dad that can let them be the only kids and will cherish them, even on the hard days, as they begin to release their fears and find safety through building trust. Are you ready to begin that journey with Emily and Travis? Age: 8, 10

Harmony, Dontae,, and Malakhai Look at these three siblings! Harmony, Dontae, and Malakhai

are great kids. Little sister Harmony is very smart and sweet. She loves playing school and cheering, and she also enjoys playing with her baby dolls. She also enjoys swimming, riding her scooter, and playing soccer.

Harmony can struggle at times with showing her emotions and she takes things very literally. Middle brother Dontae is helpful and great with younger kids. He loves video games, basketball, and swimming; however, he struggles with listening and following instructions at times and can throw a whopper of a temper tantrum when he gets wound up. Big brother Malakhai is very caring and thoughtful. He has a “good moral compass” according to his foster parent. He enjoys video games and basketball, and he loves eating crawfish and ribs. (So do we!) However, he holds grudges and isn’t as quick to forgive as he should be. Collectively, these are good kids who need a two-parent home with a strong male role model for Dontae and Malakhai. With a little patience, structure, and consistent routines and expectations, these three will just take off... and you’ll be right there to watch them do it! Ages: 8, 10, 11

Thanksgiving 2.0

by: Meagan Ruffing

Thanksgiving used to be one of my favorite holidays. I remember going to my grandma’s house up in the country where the temperature was always a few degrees cooler. Her house was nestled in the hills of Massachusetts, where leafpeeper season is so famous, people come from all over the world just to see the magnificent colors of the falling leaves. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen. Never have I ever taken in the beauty of so many different hues of reds, yellows, browns, and oranges than I do when I see the big, arching trees that New England calls home. Thanksgiving with Gram was a tradition in my family.

I’m learning to let go of the things I cannot control, even when they involve three human beings I gave life to. Instead, I’m choosing to be thankful for the time I do have with my kids. If you’re struggling to find thanks in something this year because of a divorce, separation, loss of a loved one, or you’re a transplant and just miss home, let me encourage you with 20 practical things you can do this holiday season.

Since I’ve gotten older and started my own family, I’ve moved away from the east coast and now call Northwest Arkansas my home. I’ve been away from the hills of my grandma’s house for almost 13 years, and I miss it more with each year that passes.

This year will be my hardest, as it will be my first year without my kids.

Host a Friendsgiving or go to a Friendsgiving. I’ve never done this before, but I see one in my near future. I’ve heard they’re a blast!

Divorce is hard, but it’s even harder during the holidays. When I became a mom nearly 11 years ago, I never imagined having to be without my kids during some of life’s most time-telling moments.

This Thanksgiving, I will be surrounded by friends and family who have dedicated their holiday to making mine bearable. Two amazing women are foregoing their Thanksgiving up in the hills of Massachusetts with Gram so that they can get on a plane and be with me. My mom and my sister remind me almost daily that I am a strong person, but I think they know that a part of this mama’s heart will be missing this holiday season.

I’ve been humbled by the number of invitations I have received from loving friends wanting to make sure I have somewhere to go this year, and for that I am thankful. Deep down, I wish I could just be with my kids and have things be normal for us again. I ache inside knowing that my kids will be without me during a holiday that literally defines itself by being thankful for those we love.

60 November 2019

Volunteer this year. Call a food bank or shelter and see how you can help. My kids and I did this last year, and it felt so good.

Go for a run. There’s nothing a like a brisk jog in the neighborhood, especially after you’ve eaten your weight in pie. It might be hard to get started, but you’ll feel so much better after you get a good sweat going. Plus, you won’t feel so guilty having seconds and thirds.

Call your family. Long-distance relationships can be hard for the heart. Pick up the phone and tell your family you love them and you’re thankful for them.

Take a nap. Self-explanatory. This is a must-do.

Prep for Black Friday. Check out the ads online and start your Christmas shopping list. You don’t have to worry about who will watch your kids this year, since they won’t be with you. Use this to your advantage and get a head start on presents.

Go for a walk with your dog or take a hike. Just get moving. The endorphins will be good for your mood and might help you feel not so sad.

Clean your house. Who doesn’t like a clean house?

Bonus if you can find a few things to post on eBay to make some extra money.

Self-care. Think bubble bath, face mask, painting your nails. Basically, anything that makes you feel good and doesn’t require a lot of energy.

Get your Christmas decorations out. Start getting the bins out of the attic and line them up somewhere close by so when you are ready to set things out, they’re within arm’s reach.

Get your kids’ rooms ready for when they return.

I’m a big believer in making my kids pick up their own rooms but sometimes we’re in a rush, and I’d rather snuggle with them before they leave for their dad’s house. I like to make their beds for them and write a little note for them to read when they get back.

Pick up a side job and earn some extra money.

Inside secret: I have always wanted to work at a coffee shop. I have no idea why, but don’t be surprised if you see me pouring your next cup of joe at the drive-thru. This single mom salary thing is no joke.

Bake goodies or a meal for someone in need and surprise them with it. I used to do this quite a bit, but the divorce has gotten the best of me lately. It makes my heart feel good when I bake something yummy, wrap it up in something cute, and deliver it to an unsuspecting loved one.

Schedule a therapy appointment for yourself. I’m literally in school to be a marriage and family therapist right now, so I firmly believe in the power

of talking to someone about your problems.

Buy yourself some flowers. This one is pretty simple. You can snag a beautiful fall bouquet at your local grocery store for about five bucks.

Make freezer meals for you and your kids. How many nights a week are you saying to yourself, “I don’t feel like cooking”? Make a whole bunch of meals, freeze them, and save them for a time when cooking is the last thing you feel like doing.

Cake breaks also freeze really well (think, zucchini bread, applesauce bread, pumpkin bread, etc.)

They make a great breakfast choice, and can be a yummy addition to your dinner plate.

Clean your car inside and out. Everyone’s car can use a good run through the car wash. It’s time to get those stale French fries out from under you kids’ seats.

Take up a new hobby. If you’re not sure what your new hobby should be, poke around the craft store for inspiration or hop on Pinterest.

Take a yoga class. Most places will let you try your first class for free. Give a few studios a call and ask around. Yoga is great for the mind, body, and soul… especially post-divorce.

Netflix binge. Need I say more? Sometimes sitting on the couch or laying in bed just makes everything better.

Gobble, gobble.

Parenting journalist Meagan Ruffing will be using this list to help herself get through some of the quieter times during this year’s Thanksgiving. She looks forward to spending some time with her east coast family and can’t wait to welcome her kids home.

Visit her on Facebook at writermeaganruffing to read more of her parenting articles.

pre-primary (2-4 years)

primary (5-12 years)

secondary (12-21 years)

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Drs. Katie Beal, Amy Fry and Midwife Kelsey Gilley Form

Northwest Women’s Specialty Group

There’s a new women’s health clinic in northwest Arkansas, but the providers are already very well known. Board-certified OB/GYNs Katie Beal, M.D., and Amy Fry, M.D., along with Certified Nurse Midwife Kelsey Gilley, APRN, CNM, are now part of Northwest Women’s Specialty Group.

The practice is located at 2900 Medical Center Parkway, Suite 240A, on the campus of Northwest Medical Center-Bentonville. They deliver babies at The Family Birth Place there.

Dr. Katie Beal, an Arkansas native, has been in practice in Northwest Arkansas since 2017. She graduated summa cum laude from the University of Central Arkansas and attended medical school at the University of Arkansas Dr. Katie Beal for Medical Sciences. She then completed her residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Missouri in Columbia, Mo. An Arkansas native, Dr. Fry has been in practice for 14 years. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from the University of Arkansas at Little Rock and graduated medical School from the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences. She then Dr. Amy Fry completed her residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at Indiana University Purdue University, Indianapolis, Ind.

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Gilley, who is an Advanced Practice Nurse and a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM), earned her master’s degree as a CNM in 2016 from the University of Cincinnati.

Prior to that, she earned a bachelor’s degree in nursing Midwife from the University of Kelsey Gilley Central Arkansas in Conway.

Before becoming a midwife, Kelsey worked as a registered nurse in a maternity unit, serving in labor, delivery, recovery and postpartum (LDRP) care as well as in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). Kelsey has earned national certification in ACLS and BLS with maternal focus as well as in fetal monitoring and as a breastfeeding advisor.

Northwest Women’s Specialty Group is part of Northwest Physicians, which is affiliated with Northwest Health. Northwest Health is the largest health system in Northwest Arkansas with five hospitals, licensed for 487 beds, a combined active medical staff of more than 500 physicians and more than 2,400 associates working together to provide quality healthcare for the region.

Northwest Health is a member of the Mayo Clinic Care Network, a select group of independent health systems that work closely with Mayo Clinic to improve the delivery of health care and better serve their patients and their communities.

To learn more, visit NorthwestHealth.com.

For more information about Northwest Women’s Specialty Groupcall 479-553-3340 or visit www.nw-physicians.com

Glance At a

ARTS and MUSIC

Amazeum (Pg. 15) (479) 696-9280 SoNA Music (Pg. 25) sonamusic.org Vivlio Photography (Pg. 22) vivliophoto.com Walton Arts Center (Pg. 44) waltonartscenter.org

BANKS

First National Bank (Pg. 38) (479) 621-6800 fnbnwa.com First Security (Pg. 13) www.fsbank.com; www.onlyinark.com

CAMPS

Amazeum (Pg. 15) (479) 696-9280 Camp War Eagle (Pg. 25) CampWarEagle.org Super Science (Pg. 55) (479) 444-0303 www.super-sci.com

CHILDCARE/NANNY SERVICES

ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 49) (479) 202-5691 abchappykids.com Goddard School (Pg. 2) (479) 696-9280

Clothing

Oh Baby Boutique (Pg. 65) (479) 254-2911

DENTIST

Pediatric Dental Associates & Orthodontics (479) 582-0600 (Pg. 9) The Smile Shoppe (Pg. 16) www.smile-shoppe.com

DERMATOLOGY / SKIN CARE

Revive Medical Spa (Pg. 51) revivemedicalspa.com Women’s Health Associates (Pg. 32) (479) 876-8111 whanwa.com

Dog Training / Boarding Joint Forces K9 Group (Pg. 66) JFK9.us

64 November 2019

To advertise email: editor@peekaboonwa.com

EDUCATION

Crowder College (Pg. 43) crowder.edu Goddard School (Pg. 2) (479) 696-9280 Super Science (Pg. 55) (479) 444-0303 www.super-sci.com

FAMILY FUN / ENTERTAINMENT

Amazeum (Pg. 15) (479) 696-9280 Downtown Bentonville, Inc. (Pgs. 34-5) DowntownBentonville.org Let’s Imagine Indoor Playground (Pg. 3) letsimagineplayground.com Rogers Historical Museum (Pg. 51) RogersHistoricalMuseum.org SoNA Music (Pg. 25) sonamusic.org Starlight Skatium (Pg. 41) (479) 444-STAR Super Science (Pg. 55) (479) 444-0303 www.super-sci.com Vivlio Photography (Pg. 22) vivliophoto.com Walton Arts Center (Pg. 44) waltonartscenter.org

HEALTH AND WELLNESS

Arkansas Children's Northwest (Pg. 7) ARchildrens.org Friendship Pediatric Services (Pg. 29) fccare.org NWA Health Solutions (Pg. 63) (479) 636-1324 Northwest (Pg. 68) mynorthwestphysicians.com

JEWELRY AND GIFTS

David Adams (Pg. 21) (479) 444-7778 davidadams.com Kindness & Joy Toys (Pgs. 4-5) KindnessandJoyToys.com Vivlio Photography (Pg. 22) vivliophoto.com

LEARNING CENTER/THERAPY

ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 49) (479) 202-5691 abchappykids.com Academic Math and Language Therapy (Pg. 56)

To advertise email: editor@peekaboonwa.com

(479) 253-3256 www.amltherapy.com Friendship Pediatric Services (Pg. 29) (479) 524-2456 The Grace School (Pg. 61) (479) 871-7994 Posh Tot Learning Academy (Pg. 47) (479) 268-6609

PEDIATRICIAN

Best Start (Pg. 39) (479) 575-9359 Friendship Pediatric Services (Pg. 29) fccare.org Mercy Clinic Pediatrics (Pg. 17) mercy.net/springdalekids Northwest Arkansas Pediatrics (Pg. 33) (479) 442-7322 Ozark Pediatrics (Pg. 43) (479) 544-9432

Photographer

Vivlio Photography (Pg. 22) vivliophoto.com

Real Estate / Moving

Midtown Real Estate Associates (Pg. 21) (479) 268-5170

Research

Woodland Research Group Northwest (Pg. 23) (479) 231-3051

Social Services

Shared Beginnings (Pg. 49) (479) 755-4127

WOMEN'S HEALTH

HerHealth Clinic-Washington Regional (Pg. 11) (479) 463-5500 Lifespring Women’s Health (Pg. 45) (479) 271-0005 The Perinatal Center (Pg. 53) (479) 268-4979 Siloam Springs Women's Center (Pg. 57) (479) 524-9312 Women's Health Associates (Pg. 28) whanwa.com

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Dr. Katie Beal and Dr.makes Amy Fry have joined Women’s Specialty Northwest Physicians it easier to see Northwest a primary care provider – quickly.

Group, a part of Northwest Physicians. They are accepting new patients, and Just call 479-255-2420. Most calls will result in a same-day appointment with welcoming all former patients. If you’ve been a patient of Dr. Beal or Dr. Fry, call ausphysician or nurse practitioner onemedical of ourrecords.

19 primary care locations. today for assistance in transferringatyour Extended hours available. Lab and X-ray facilities on-site at select locations.

Call 479-255-2359 or go to To schedule an appointment NorthwestHealthOBGYN.com for more information. online, anytime, go to

MyNorthwestPhysicians.com Katie Beal, M.D. Board-Certified OB/GYN

Amy Fry, M.D.

Medical LOCATIONS. Center Pkwy., Suite 240A 19Board-Certified PRIMARY2900 CARE

SAME-DAY SAME GREAT CARE. APPOINTMENTS. NEW 479-255-2420 OB/GYN

Bentonville, AR 72712

ADDRESS.

Bentonville • Centerton • Eureka Springs • Fayetteville • Johnson • Lowell • Rogers • Siloam Springs • Springdale

Bentonville • Centerton • Fayetteville • Johnson

Members of the Medical Staff of Northwest Medical Center - Bentonville, LowellMedical • Rogers Siloam and Springs • Medical Springdale Northwest Center • - Springdale Northwest Center Willow Creek Women’s Hospital.

68 November 2019