September 2019

September 2019

Inside:

P E T P I CK S 2019

Heroes HOMETOWN

Plus!

SEPTEMBER LUNCH BOX IDEAS

*Northwest Health Physicians’ Specialty Hospital is owned, in part, by physicians.

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-----------The Goddard Schools are operated by independent franchisees under a license agreement with Goddard Systems, Inc. Programs and ages may vary.

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3

At Pediatric Dental Associates and Orthodontics you’ll discover that we go the extra mile for our patients! From the moment you see our office, you’ll know what we mean. We have a fully themed environment that is comforting and fun for your children.

We offer preventive, restorative, and orthodontic services for kids ages 0-18.

We also specialize in dental care for children with special needs.

1607 E. Rainforest Rd. Fayetteville, AR 72703

801 SW Regional Airport Blvd.

Bentonville, AR 72712

Fayetteville: 479-582-0600

Bentonville: 479-268-5000

#brushflossrepeat

We accept all insurances and we are in-network with Delta Dental, Cigna, Blue Cross Blue Shield, ARKids, Delta Dental Smiles, and MCNA. 4 September 2019

Luminis is proud to announce the hiring of Gabby Potter, R.N.

Gabby Potter, R.N. Some of our patients may already know Gabby from her time working as one of our medical assistants during her undergraduate years at the University of Arkansas. Gabby is here to assist you with the following services we provide:

Todd Hannah MD Lawrence Schmitz MD Brandi Alexander APN Lorie Oswalt APN

* BodyFx for that stubborn fat in unwanted areas * Forma Plus for loose crepey skin. * Votiva vaginal rejuvenation for incontinence, and so much more * Fractora skin ablation and resurfacing Please Welcome Gabby to the Luminis family

www.luminisbylifespring.com

The

Family KIMBERLY ENDERLE Editor-in-Chief editor@peekaboonwa.com | 479-957-0532

JONATHON ENDERLE Creative Director jon@peekaboonwa.com | 479-586-3890

Jonathon and Kim with Grant, Ava, Gwen and Holden PHOTO BY MAIN STREET STUDIOS

FRANCES WILSON Assistant Editor

DISTRIBUTION/ CIRCULATION Joyce Whitaker Judy Evans Marcedalia Salinas

Jeremy Whitaker Michelle Dodson

BEN LACY Dad’s View

Columnist

Peekaboo Publications PO Box 1036 Bentonville, Arkansas 72712

MEAGAN RUFFING Columnist

Please send inquiries to: editor@peekaboonwa.com or call 479-957-0532 www.peekaboonwa.com Peekaboo may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Views expressed herein are those of the authors and advertisers, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the magazine.

PEEKABOO Northwest Arkansas accepts writing contributions

6 September 2019

DAVID HOVEY Story Design

Celebrating One Year

You can help kids of Care Close tobe Home

BRAVE this holiday season

Our first year was a big one and we're just getting started! Thank you to our donors, patients, families and staff. We're proud to deliver care close to home for the children of Northwest Arkansas.

2,003 Surgeries

30,104 Outpatient Visits

19,133 Emergency Visits

1,978

Inpatient Admissions

Your gift of $25, $50hospital or more will help Why choose a children's for your child?

Get an inside look at archildrens.org/oneyear champion children and the everyday heroes at Arkansas Children’s.

Please give generously!

Visit giving.archildrens.org (479) 725-6800 | 2601 Gene George Blvd., Springdale, AR 72762 Across from Arvest Ballpark in Springdale, Don Tyson Pkwy. Exit 70 or call (800) 880-7491 Patient data from March 1, 2018 – February 28, 2019

Inside

SEPTEMBER 2019

Also 14

Around Town

12

Never Too Late BY: MEG MEREDITH

18

September Lunch Box Ideas BY: MEGAN RUFFING

16

Warning Signs of Concussion BY: NORTHWEST HEALTH

36

Midlife Crisis or Heroine’s Journey?

BY: SONIA SPINKS

44

Ruff, Ruff, Read!

BY: BEN LACY

46

Back to School Checklist

48

20

Reclaiming Purpose BY: SCOTT WEST

40

Heroes Among Us

Dad’s View

26

WITH BEN LACY

BY: ETHAN CHRISS

Peekaboo Pet Picks

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

52

56

The Pehlman’s Battle Buddy: Meet Thor BY: FRANCES WILSON

*Northwest Health Physicians’ Specialty Hospital is owned, in part, by physicians.

Cover Sponsored by: Northwest Health www.northwesthealth.com 8 September 2019

On the Cover: Jax and Phoe, children of Kyle and Meg. Photos by: Lazer Lee Photography FB: lazerleephotography

If you have a story to share, or an idea for a story, email editor@peekaboonwa.com and become a part of the Peekaboo family!

From the Editor

HERE’S A LOOK AHEAD! _____________________________ In OCTOBER, we turn the spotlight on families of multiples and share their tales, tips and tricks! Are you a twin or triplet, or a parent of multiples? Email editor@peekaboonwa.com In NOVEMBER’s issue, we turn the spotlight on families who foster and adopt. This is one of our favorite issues of the year!

Finally, in DECEMBER, we offer readers the most comprehensive guide of holiday out-andabout activities across the area. If you have a holiday event or gift idea for the gift guide, email editor@peekaboonwa.com.

L

ast month I found myself in conversation after conversation where the words, “Being a mom is just so hard” were expressed at least once, if not twice or more. I’m not sure if those overwhelming feelings stemmed from the all-too-soon start of a new school year or the extreme heat that always makes life way more difficult, but the theme of “the parenthood struggle” was a common thread throughout.

These conversations led me back to the reason we created Peekaboo almost twelve years ago – to help keep parents in NWA from feeling alone, and to foster connections to help take the edge off of being a parent. It also reminded me that no matter how much we want to believe that our struggles are uniquely our own, saying, “No one could possibly be going through what we are – I mean, look at Facebook, everyone else has it together!” it just isn’t true. Every mom has those same thoughts -- from professional women who are dominating at their job, to stayat-home moms who are PTO president and homeroom mom all while nursing a newborn, young moms, older moms, moms with little ones, and moms with teens... it didn’t matter. The same struggles were present.

As a perfectionist myself, I know how hard it is to pursue the status of “perfect.”

Chasing perfection is exhausting, and even 10 September 2019

photo by: Lazer Lee Photography

though it can produce the results that we strive for, it also creates an equal and opposing amount of damaging anguish.

Trying to be ‘it all,’ in all ways, all the time, is impossible. A huge part of the drive to over perform is that moms are constantly at war with each other. Not outwardly, but inwardly, in a comparison battle that no one ever wins. A friend recently shared that she felt she didn’t ‘fit in’ with the other moms at her kids’ school. With their manicured wardrobe, styled hair and non-house shoe footware, she saw them as superior in their role. I know this mom very well, and I can tell you that she is one of the best moms I have ever met, so to hear her share these feelings of inferiority was eye-opening.

We walk around feeling like everyone is judging us, all the while creating a narrative in our own mind convincing us that everyone else is doing way better.

The truth is, other people are way too busy judging themselves – they really don’t have the energy to critique anyone else. Even if they do, that critique always stems from their own insecurities, anyway! It’s a vicious cycle.

Many times your biggest – and most specifically cruel – bully can be yourself.

After all, only you know all of your secrets. More than magazines, movies, or talking heads on TV, the voice inside your head can be the most damaging to your self-esteem. This voice often doesn’t

take the rational order of things into consideration. That voice is meant to motivate you to do your best (at least, that’s what it tells you) but sometimes, especially during times of lost sleep (like after a new baby), it goes into hyperdrive and tries to push way too hard. It’s okay to recognize that the voice is unrealistic! This month, I want to encourage you to be kind to yourself – to recognize when you aren’t being a very good self-cheerleader. When you are doubting yourself, take a moment to give yourself an internal pep talk.

When you look in the mirror, instead of picking apart the things you don’t like (which sounds like what a bully might do) point out the parts you love. Extend to yourself the same love and tenderness and grace that you give to your children and your partner every day. You understand that they deserve it, but you need it just as much.

Honestly, all parents that wake up each morning and embrace their role as mom or dad are heroes in their child’s eyes, and we should make the effort to look

at ourselves the same way our children do.

This annual issue of Peekaboo takes the word ‘hero’ to the next level, with stories from hometown heroes who have sacrificed their lives not only for their own family, but people they have never met.

Hometown heroes come in every shape and size, with many different experiences and tales to tell. I am honored for you to meet them and hear their stories on the pages inside, just as I am now honored and inspired to know them myself.

This month, as we take time to reflect on the sacrifices these amazing people make for us, take a moment to introduce them to your children. Schedule a visit with one of your local fire stations or police stations for a tour. Or, take a special treat to a family you know who has a mom or dad serving in the military, just to let them know that their sacrifice is not going unnoticed.

Finally, volunteer! Help your child find a way to do their own “super work” around their home, neighborhood, or town.

Until next time ...

Kim Enderle

We get you.

Care for Women, by Women | We know that a woman’s physical and emotional needs are unique, so we’ve designed a personalized care experience for women of all ages. For compassionate care and clinical expertise, HerHealth Clinic is here for you.

Visit us online for a complete list of services and clinic locations.

Call 479.463.5500 for Appointments

| wregional.com/herhealth

by Meg Meredith There are two quotes in my top five favorites – one

by C. S. Lewis and the other by F. Scott Fitzgerald – that echo the sentiment that no one is ever too old to dream a new dream, and it’s never too late to live a life you are proud of.

Everyone faces path divergences from time to time.

We face the risk of chasing a dream, or playing it safe with the status quo. We found ourselves at such a crossroads back in 2014, when my husband, Kyle, was at an impasse with his job. I remember asking him what he wanted to do, knowing that oftentimes as adults we make decisions based on what makes the most sense financially, logically, or both. With that in mind, I told him to take time to figure out what he wanted to do next.

One of the things that Kyle had always wanted to do was serve his country in some form with the Armed Forces, but he felt at that time that it was too late for him. He had almost enlisted right out of high school, but chose to play football at UCA instead. College eventually led him to Russellville, where he met me, a freshman at ATU, through a mutual friend. Our story began there, back in 2001.

12 September 2019

After a lot of research, we discovered that he barely made the age cutoff to enlist in the National Guard. He ended up passing the ASVAB test with such good scores that he got to choose any path within the Guard, and he chose to pursue being a Combat Medic Specialist. At age 33, Kyle enlisted in the Army National Guard.

At the time, our kids were both six and in school.

Our son, who was born with a cleft lip and palate, had just had a surgery, but wouldn’t need anything else for the rest of the year, and our daughter’s adoption had just been finalized the year before. I remember telling Kyle that if there was ever a good time to go, it was then.

We knew it was going to be a huge sacrifice on everyone’s part, but it was only going to last for a short time, and I knew that we would all be stronger for it. So, the day before Thanksgiving of 2015, with a wife and two kids at home, Kyle left for basic training.

We endured ten weeks of no communication except for letters, with me single-parenting while he endured constant physical and mental

exhaustion. Not to mention, he was the oldest Private First Class there. After basic training, he relocated to Texas for his medic training, which lasted another sixteen weeks.

I gained a new appreciation for brave mommas raising kids solo while pursuing careers. Our whole family gained a new respect for military families of all shapes and sizes, who sacrifice their time, money, bodies, family events, and so much more to serve and protect. That year was hard – we won’t even gloss over that. It was lonely, challenging, emotional, tiring, and sometimes dark. The kids struggled, like most kids at that age, with the concept of time – “How long will Dad be gone?” and “Why is it taking so long?” By the time Kyle graduated and returned, it had almost been a year.

Now, four years and several more changes later, we have a new rhythm and normal where Kyle is gone once a month and several weeks every spring/ summer. Kyle is currently the COO at a local non-profit, and we are active in our community as an ambassador family for Arkansas Children’s Hospital while staying busy with our kids’ activities, like swim team and guitar lessons. Needless to say, we are thankful for the time that he has at home.

I, Megan, am an author of four novels, the first of which was published in 2014. Just this year, I got my certification to become a yoga teacher. I am grateful for my flexible schedule, which allows me to juggle everything solo when I need to, and be ready to do so at a moment’s notice. Although he has yet to deploy overseas, there have been leadership classes for weeks in another state and stateside deployments, such as Hurricane Harvey last year, when we only get a few hours between Kyle getting the call and needing to report for duty.

students. One thing we know from being an Army family is that you rarely get to know all the facts, or the plan, in advance, and even if you think you do, it will change. We have learned to be flexible, resilient, fluid, patient, and constantly prepared for change. This requires communication, selfcare, therapy, faith and good coping skills; all of which are subject to an ebb and flow. Sometimes we handle situations well and sometimes… not.

Ultimately, I hope we never stop figuring out how to be the best versions of ourselves to each other and the world around us.

As a cleft family and an adoptive family, we are no strangers to doing hard things, but being a parttime Army family presents new challenges that we continually face together. The time apart, the missed events, the fatigue, and the solo parenting are all worth it to us. Not only does my husband get to serve his state and his country, but we get to believe in each other and lead by example that it’s never too late to dream a new dream. Its never too late to be who you want to be.

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you are proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

This past year, when I did teacher training for six months, we often alternated weekends of trainings. These times are when we, as a military family, learn to let the village help and support us.

Whether it’s childcare, fixing household issues, meals or prayer, we have solid friends and family that would move heaven and earth if we needed it... and we couldn’t do this life without them.

Looking back now, I suppose it could be said that we were both extremely ‘late to the party’ of figuring out our path to what we wanted to do, but I see it more as the result of us being lifelong

PHOTOS BY: LAZER LEE PHOTOGRAPHY

Town

Around

Bridges Family Center Offers course “Between Two Homes”

Parenting is tough. Additional strain can be experienced when parents are raising a child in two different households. This situation may occur during separation, after divorce, or because of other unique family life situations, such as grandparent guardianship or foster parents raising a child between two homes. How do caregivers work in the best interest of the child?

Bridges Family Center offers a co-parenting course monthly. “Between Two Homes” is curriculum for any individual raising a child living between two households.

Classes are approximately 3 1/2 hours in length and offered on-site. Participants may take one or both classes, and each part is $40 per participant.

In Part One, participants explore the adult issues of two households. Parents will learn how to build a successful co-parenting relationship so that both parties can stop fighting and start communicating. Participants will learn to recognize obstacles to the co-parenting relationship.

Wilson Springs Preserve Immerse yourself in nature at Wilson Springs Preserve, a 121-acre prairie wetland nestled in the heart of Fayetteville. After seven years of restoration by the Northwest Arkansas Land Trust, which included removing invasive species and allowing native plants to thrive, Wilson Springs Preserve will open for public access on Saturday, September 7th, 2019, with the nature and arts festival, Immerse.

IMMERSE will explore the connection between nature, arts and wellness through small- and large-scale art installations, interactive performances, guided and self-led hikes, natural art making activities, workshops, and wellness sessions.All events are free and open to the public. www.nwalandtrust.org 14 September 2019

Oftentimes, participants will learn of alternatives to litigation.

In Part Two, participants will explore the child’s issues. Participants will be encouraged to empathize with the child, and be provided with tools to talk to their child about the changes in their family using language he or she can understand.

Participants will learn the special needs of their child at various stages, from newborn to teenager.

Creating a co-parenting plan is encouraged, and samples are provided during the course.

Participants are taught what behaviors, and even what words, can help or potentially hurt their child during difficult family life challenges.

For more information, email Bridges Family Center at info@bridgesnwa.org.

HIPPY HIPPY home-based educators visit parents of 3-, 4-, and 5-year-old children in their homes once a week for at least 45 minutes of role play lessons. Each set of lessons includes activities focusing on literacy, math, science, motor skills, and language development.

Parents also meet with other parents in the program at least once a month for group meetings designed to further enhance parenting skills. These two delivery methods, role play and group meetings, empower parents as their child’s first and most important teacher.

All lessons and story books are available in English and Spanish, and all of this is at no cost to the parent! www.hippyarkansas.org

Play with Passion Play with Passion is dedicated to serving athletes with special needs in Northwest Arkansas. We are committed to providing monthly fitness-based events that are designed to help these athletes achieve or surpass their unique developmental milestones. We engage age-appropriate volunteers who are committed to building friendships with our athletes and demonstrating both sportsmanship and positive social skills.

September 18th, from 5:30-7:30pm Join Crystal Bridges, Mojo Cycling, Bar S, and Play with Passion outside at the Buckyball for an evening of glow-in-the-dark fun! This Crystal Bridges program will feature glow-in-the-dark art projects at the Buckyball, followed by a glow ride to Orchards Park with a cookout sponsored by Mojo Cycling and Bar S Hot Dogs. Be sure to bring your bike and get it all decked out for the glow ride!

Questions? Contact Sheila Munn, Bentonville Schools, at smunn@bentonvillek12.org, or Kathy Breed at breedmack1014@aol.com.

Dave, the Friendly Fireman One of Northwest Arkansas’ own heroes, fireman David Carr, has published his first children’s book! “Come and join Dave, the friendly fireman as he embarks on his journey to become a fireman. Learn how working hard and never giving up leads Dave to achieve his dream of becoming a fireman.” You can order it now on Amazon just search “Dave the Friendly Fireman by David Carr.

Pet-Friendly Restaurants Crepes Paulette - www.crepespaulette.com Bliss Cupcakes - www.blisscupcakecafe.com Good Dog Cafe - thegooddogcafe.com City Pump - www.facebook.com/pg/citypump623 Arsagas off Dickson - arsagas.com Fossil Cove Brewery - www.fossilcovebrewing.com Fosters Pint and Plate - fosterspintandplate.com Grub’s - www.grubsbargrille.com Sassy’s - sassysredhouse.com

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Warning Signs of

Concussion W

ith fall around the corner, training for football and soccer are well underway. Sports and outdoor activities are good ways to stay healthy and active, but there are risks of injury too, especially with contact sports. Here’s some helpful advice from Northwest Health Physicians’ Specialty Hospital, which is the official medical provider for the Arkansas Razorbacks.

Other common symptoms include:

• Headache • Amnesia • Dizziness • Ringing in the ears • Nausea • Vomiting • Slurred speech • Fatigue

Concussions are common sports-related injuries that frequently go unnoticed or are overlooked. Take time to learn the warning signs of concussion to keep your child from experiencing a more serious brain injury.

Sometimes symptoms will not appear until a few hours or days after the injury, such as difficulty concentrating, memory loss, personality changes, sensitivity to light and noise, sleep disturbances, feeling depressed, and issues tasting and smelling. Anyone with these symptoms should rest and not “A concussion is a type of traumatic return to sports or other vigorous activities until they have brain injury that alters the way your been checked and approved by a medical professional. brain functions,” said Dr. Danelle The effects of a concussion are usually temporary; however, Richards, MD, Medical Director of if a person with a concussion does not take time to heal, they Emergency Services, Northwest Health. can experience serious complications.

“They can be caused by a blow to the head or when the upper body and head “Resting and slowly returning to regular activities is the are shaken. Brains of children and teens best way to recover from a concussion,” said Richards. “If have not fully developed, putting them a concussion is left untreated, you risk getting another at risk for more serious brain damage concussion or permanent brain damage.” from a concussion.”

Take precautions when your child participates in contact Symptoms of a serious head injury include repeated vomiting, loss of consciousness lasting longer than thirty seconds, a headache that gets worse over time, changes in behavior, changes in coordination such as stumbling or clumsiness, disorientation and slurred speech. If someone is experiencing any of these symptoms, they should seek medical attention immediately.

sports and make sure equipment such as helmets and pads are in good condition. If an athlete experiences a blow to the head and feels disoriented, have them sit out the rest of the game.

They are more susceptible to getting another more serious concussion if they keep playing.

Northwest Health Physicians’ Specialty Hospital, an affiliate of Northwest Health, the largest health system in Northwest Arkansas, treats many patients with many sports-related injuries, including concussions. The hospital, which is owned in part by physicians, is the official medical provider of the When someone suffers a more Arkansas Razorbacks®. Northwest Health provides certified mild concussion they could lose athletic trainers to nine high schools in the Bentonville, consciousness temporarily and become Elkins, Huntsville, Lincoln, Pea Ridge and Springdale school systems. confused.

To learn more about concussions or to find a doctor, visit NorthwestHealth.com.

16 September 2019

SUPER HERO SMILES ARE HERE!

Kids get a free Super Hero cape when they say, “I have the Super Hero power of Kindness!”

Smile-Shoppe.com Fayetteville (479) 966-4100 Springdale (479) 756-6377

Bentonville (479) 876-8883 Rogers (479) 631-6377 peekaboonwa.com

17

September

Lunch Boxs Idea

It’s September, which means we’re officially one month into the school year, and coming up with creative lunch box ideas is already slowing me down. I’m sure you started out the year like I did: with lunch box notes and stickers. Maybe you even cut out heart shapes and triangles to separate your daughter’s cheese from her ham. Kudos to you if you’re still doing it!

6. Homemade granola: Mix rolled oats, chia seeds, flax seeds, brown sugar and salt.

If not, no worries – I’ve got you covered. Here is a month’s worth of lunchbox ideas for your kiddo that are super simple and inexpensive:

9. Hot dog cut up in to bite-sized pieces, with a side of ketchup to dip it in

1. Make your own “Lunchables”: Whole wheat crackers, sliced cheese, and pieces of meat

11. Bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.

(BLT)

7. Apple sandwiches: Cut apples into ring slices and spread peanut butter on each slice.

8. Cottage cheese with fruit mixed in

10. Hard-boiled eggs

2. Bagel and cream cheese

12. Mini sliders: tiny hamburger patties with a slice of cheese on a mini roll

3. Mini pizza: English muffin, pizza sauce, cheese, pepperoni

13. Hummus and vegetables

4. Banana slices and peanut butter with a handful of popcorn 5. Ants on a log: Celery sticks with peanut butter and raisins sprinkled on top 18 September 2019

image: valeria_aksakova

14. Half of a pita pocket stuffed with sliced meat, lettuce and mayonnaise 15. Chili with cheese sprinkled on top 16. Your child’s favorite kind of soup packed in a small canteen so it stays warm

17. Salad with all of your child’s favorite fixins’ on top: Put salad dressing in a small container so the lettuce doesn’t get soggy.

18. Fruit kebabs with yogurt dipping sauce: Squirt a little lemon juice on fruit so it doesn’t brown.

19. Bologna and cheese sandwich 20. Peanut butter and fluffernutter

(fluff sandwich)

P L A N N I N G R E T I R E M E N T* O N Your T E R M S .

21. Pancakes: Put syrup in a separate container.

22. Your child’s favorite muffins packed

with fruit 23. Omelet 24. Breakfast casserole: hash browns,

eggs, meat, cheese 25. Waffles: syrup on the side 26. French toast sticks: syrup on the side 27. Yogurt parfait 28. Smoothie or breakfast shake 29. Macaroni and cheese 30. Frozen peas and carrots (which will thaw by lunchtime) with pasta

Feel free to recycle these ideas and add some of your own. Once you have a rotating lunch schedule going, it will be a breeze to get your kids packed and out the door to school.

I would love to see what you packed! Drop me a picture on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ writermeaganruffing and I’ll add it to my recipe box.

Parenting journalist Meagan Ruffing loves getting her kids excited about going back to school. She likes to spice it up with fun notes and has found that packing creative lunches encourages them to get involved with prepping their meals for the week.

Investment products offered are: Not a deposit, not FDIC insured, may lose value, not guaranteed by the bank, not insured by any federal government agency.

Member FDIC

Reclaiming

Purpose

by Scott West I was born on August 24th, 1985, in Olympia, Washington. My mom was 16 years old, and both of my parents were crack addicts, so I was taken from them at birth and immediately placed in foster care. I met my biological parents – or, at least, my biological mother – for the first time at the age of 3 (though I found out years later that the abusive man I thought was my biological father actually wasn’t.) At any rate, my mother and the man I called father at the time were given visitation rights to see me on the weekends, in the church right next to where my foster family lived.

One weekend, they decided to kidnap me and run off back to Olympia.

After about two weeks, during which they hid me in the dryer every time someone came over, they were caught by the cops. After that, I was brought back to Columbus, Kansas, to the foster home I had been previously living in. A few years passed, and, when I had just turned 8, my biological uncle decided he wanted to take me in, as he and his wife had a son the same age as me.

Within months, my aunt and uncle were divorced, and days later their son and I found my biological uncle murdered. After that, his wife felt that she couldn’t take care of both of us, so back I went to Columbus... again.

Luckily, soon after that I was adopted by the people who are my parents and my family now. The judge presiding over my case in Columbus went to my parent’s church at the time, so he knew they had been trying to adopt because they had been told 20 September 2019

they couldn’t have children. After a few home visits, I was adopted by Scott and Leanne West, which we all agree was a total ‘God thing.’ If they hadn’t raised me, I wouldn’t have had the fortitude to adapt to and overcome what had happened to me, and what would happen to me, in this life.

Because of them, my word as a man today means something. Additionally, after they adopted me, my mom became pregnant with my sister, and less than a year later, pregnant with my brother!

A year after I was adopted, my father was promoted at work, and we moved to Branson, Missouri.

In high school, I had great grades, was involved in lots of sports, and had a lot of adventurous energy, so, after the Twin Towers fell, I felt like I should put that mental and physical energy toward helping my country. I graduated high school in 2003, and shortly after enrolled in Basic Training at the age of 17. I ended up celebrating my 18th birthday in Basic... which, as you can imagine, wasn’t fun for an 18-year-old, to say the least. I was a 19D, CAV Scout (RECON) in the military. I graduated from Basic and went on to Advanced Individual Training (AIT) in Fort Bliss, Texas, and Airborne School at Fort Benning, Georgia. In December of 2004, I was shipped to Iraq to be stationed at Camp Anaconda in Ballad, Iraq. We were attached to the 101st Airborne Division, working with military intelligence and Special Forces gathering information on ‘High Value Targets.’ I did a lot of raids, route clearance, and cache searches. One week out of each month,

we pulled Quick Reaction Force (QRF) in another Forward Observing Base (FOB). Iraq was incredibly tough. We lost five out of our initial 13 guys in the first three weeks, and ended up with only four left by the time we went home.

On December 16, 2005, while pulling QRF in an FOB, I was asked to take a buddy’s spot that wasn’t feeling well. We had to take our Captain back to Camp Anaconda to do paperwork on a best friend of mine that had passed away the day before. I had just gotten off a 12-hour guard post, and was headed to bed, but I decided I’d rather head back to Camp Anaconda, since I needed to pick up a few things there. I had three days left before I went home. I was driving the lead vehicle, which wasn’t the usual vehicle that I drove – I usually brought up the rear, so this was unusual for me. It was ‘dark thirty,’ meaning we had the highest chance for casualties, and we were driving down a road that was known as ‘Death Alley’ when it came to IEDs, due to poor visibility. While we were traveling along this road, we came up on the hole my buddy

got hit in the day before with an IED. As we got closer to it, we realized it was filled back in with dirt, instead of concrete (the way our military filled in those holes). Usually a hole filled in with fresh dirt meant that they either planted another IED in the same hole, or on the other side of the road. My Team Chief told me to veer to the left, but the last thing that went through my mind was that I wouldn’t want anyone to get hit by the IED and feel responsible for it, so I jerked the wheel right, putting the blast on the driver’s side. After all, my team had gotten hit by 258 IEDs while we were over there, and I’d survived so far.

It ended up being a far bigger IED than I had imagined. It was three 155 rounds, three times the blast of a normal IED. It blew the truck close to 4 feet off the ground and left a hole 8 feet wide and 6 feet deep. Everyone else in the vehicle was okay, but I lost both my legs instantly, crushed my femur in 14 pieces, collapsed

Back To School Check Ups!

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

Kimberly L. Cadle, M.D., F.A.A.P. Jason B. Foster, M.D., F.A.A.P. Andrea King, A.P.R.N., C.P.N.P.

Remember to get your flu shots come October

Address: 2719 SE I St., Bentonville, AR 72712 Phone: 479-273-5437 (KIDS) Fax: 479-273-9932

www.bentonvillepediatrics.com

both lungs, and ended up bleeding out for 55 minutes while we waited for the helicopter Medivac. I lost 45 percent of my blood mass, flatlined three full times, and woke up at Walter Reed Army Medical Center three days later, which felt like only 10 seconds later to me. I was only alive by the grace of God. My mom was at my bedside at Walter Reed, and it wasn’t until I reached up to hug her that I felt the lack of weight underneath me and realized my legs were gone. Once I was aware I’d lost my legs, I was in a very dark place. I thought my life was over for quite a while. Then, one day, I had a visit from a vet in his 40s who had also lost both legs, and was walking with prosthetics. I thought, “Heck, I’m 19, I can do that,” and set to work. I had experienced 38 surgeries in 30 days, and within 3 months of being injured I was up walking without a cane, crutches, or anything.

Within four months I was snowboarding, and five months later I was wakeboarding.

I retired and left WRAMC in February of 2007.

Once I got home, signs of intense PTSD, coupled with my inherited addictive personality, started to show.

I started smoking weed to deal with the constant numbness and fight-orflight symptoms of PTSD, and eventually got into selling it. In September of 2007, I was pulled over and ended up getting charged for selling and distribution. I was lucky to get off (by the skin of my teeth, honestly) with five years of probation and no felony. After I got in trouble, I quit selling and went back to just smoking. I actually got reacquainted with my now ex-wife Samantha, who I had known in high school, mere hours before I got pulled over in 2007. In January of 2009 I married her, and in August of 2010, my amazing son, Kipton, was born. While Samantha was pregnant, I had stopped smoking in solidarity with her, and soon after we had my son, I started taking the pain medications that I was prescribed. I had been prescribed them since I left Walter Reed, but never really took them because I was smoking. I was hooked almost instantly. After about a year and a half, I was up to taking what I was prescribed, so I started abusing my medication, asking for more and taking more than I was prescribed. Long story short, in October of 2013, Samantha found 22 September 2019

out I was abusing my prescription and the next day she left me. I knew I had a problem, and that same day left for a 30-day rehab. At this point, I didn’t believe that I was an addict, however, and I believed that I could learn how to take my medication correctly. I figured I would go to rehab so that I could look good and not lose time with my son, telling myself that eventually I would be able to take my medicine and not abuse it. That, unfortunately, wasn’t the case. After 10 months of rehab, I went to the doctor to get a prescription.

Barely a few days later, I was abusing again. On May 3rd of 2015, I was driving and got pulled over – I was intoxicated on my medication, and did an unlawful lane change. I ended up getting charged, and went to jail for 21 days.

After that, I was scared straight. I told myself that I needed to grow up for my son, and also do it for me. The day I got out of jail, my mother took me to another 30-day rehab in Joplin. This time I could feel things were different, and after the 30-day rehab I put myself in a one year program, where I quickly gained responsibilities, excelled, and started to feel happy again. When I was in my rehab program, I reconnected with a battle buddy of mine that lived in Fayetteville. He had helped save my life when I got hit in Iraq. He came and saw me, and told me about Sheep Dog Impact Assistance, which is a veteranrun nonprofit organization that was founded in Rogers. He kept telling me how the folks at Sheep Dog helped him get that feeling of purpose again – that feeling of camaraderie, motivation, challenging yourself, and being around like-minded people. Their mission is to help veterans and First Responders get up off the couch by engaging, assisting, and empowering them through outdoor adventures and disaster response missions. And they mean get off the couch... the first event he invited me to was tandem skydiving!

I went a little begrudgingly, but ended up having a wonderful time. I was most amazed, however, when invitations and communications poured in after we got back. With other organizations, I’ve sometimes noticed that the folks who put on events are there for the photos, but not for the days in between. With Sheep Dog, I wasn’t displaced.

And the rest is history... we went to Yosemite, a host of other places, and have been doing the

Spartan Race every year since as a team. I felt like I had found my purpose in life. A guy that worked for Sheep Dog even invited me to live with him in Rogers and work with Sheep Dog, and I was immediately all-in, willing to do whatever was needed for my brothers. This brotherhood, this ride-or-die mentality, was what I missed about the military, and they got that. Now, my main mission and full-time job with Sheep Dog’s national office is to openly and honestly connect with veterans, tell them about Sheep Dog. Strangely enough, the reason that I found my actual biological father, Sean, was because of Sheep Dog as well – I won a 23andMe kit for having the best ‘ugly Christmas sweater’ at our holiday party, created my account, and was contacted by my biological aunt, who introduced me to the biological family I didn’t know I had. Because of my history with my biological mom and supposed father, I hadn’t wanted to connect with my biological family, but now I have biological family beating my door down to get to know me! It’s been surprising, and overwhelming, to say the least, but I enjoy the relationship I have with my biological father now.

Beyond that, being with Sheep Dog has changed my life in incalculable ways. The November after I joined the team at Sheep Dog, I met my future wife, Bridgette, and married her a year later. We have a 19-month-old son, Jackson, now, and I am able to see my 9-year-old, Kipton, every other weekend. He even goes on Sheep Dog adventures with me! My family trusts me again, and above all else, I HAVE A PURPOSE! Sheep Dog filled that void that I longed for after I got out of the military. I say that I was given a new life twice. Once was when I was revived in the field that day I died three times, and the other was when Sheep Dog found me. If I could go back in time to that day that I lost my legs in Iraq, I wouldn’t change a thing. God had a plan for me, and a wonderful future.

swest@sheepdogia.org

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This Is Their Year.

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Not All Heroes

Wear Capes

by Ethan Chriss

What is a hero? No other word contains a greater platitude than the word hero. When we envision a hero, the first thing that comes to mind may be a flashy, mysterious, caped figure, tasked with saving the world – a cliché brought to light in countless superhero movies. I describe a hero, however in a much simpler manner: a hero is an individual who puts the needs of others before their own. Look no further than our very own fantastic community in Northwest Arkansas for countless examples of heroes. Simply put, these are our Hometown Heroes.

I first became involved with our Hometown Heroes when I joined the Young Men’s Service League (YMSL) my freshman year in high school. YMSL is a national organization made up of mothers and high school-age sons serving together to impact their local communities. It offers a comprehensive four-year program dedicated to service, learning and leadership. Our mission at YMSL is to assist, serve, and support those who are in need in our community, develop leadership skills among our membership, and promote mother-son relationships. Through the YMSL program, my mother and I have been given the chance to meet, learn from, and appreciate our Hometown Heroes, many of whom work extensive volunteer shifts in

challenging conditions to ensure that the members of our community have their basic needs met.

Some Hometown Heroes I’ve had the honor to work with are the kind, gentle, and caring volunteers of the Samaritan Community Center.

These individuals dedicate numerous hours to the Samaritan programs, such as the Samaritan Dental Clinic and the Samaritan Cafe.

This summer, YMSL has offered me the opportunity to volunteer with these programs and assist the Hometown Heroes that make it all possible. Let me tell you, it was nothing short of inspirational. On one volunteer shift for the Backpacks for Kids program, my mom and I were tasked with counting and sorting 4,320 toothbrushes and toothpaste tubes! After an hour and a half of mentally exhausting, arduous work, we had finished. I think we take for granted having a toothbrush and toothpaste to use twice a day, and when we realized that the hour and a half of sorting toothbrushes and toothpaste would benefit over 4,320 kids, the experience became profoundly impactful. And, that short hour-and-a-half session pales in comparison to the amount of time that the volunteers at the Samaritan Community Center have devoted to the betterment of our community.

For children battling a critical illness, a wish is more than a dream. It can be a turning point that can give them the emotional and physical strength to keep going.

WISHES NEED YOU

R E F E R A C H I L D T O DAY AT MIDSOUTH .WIS H .ORG/RE FE R

I wish to be a cowgirl Kionna, 10 cancer

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With the time that these individuals dedicate, they accomplish incredible, selfless, charitable acts on a truly gargantuan scale. These are our Hometown Heroes.

Another group of Hometown Heroes that I have had the privilege to work alongside are the volunteers at the Northwest Arkansas Children’s Shelter’s “Shelter Shop.” The Shelter Shop is a store created by the Children’s Shelter to generate revenue so that the Children’s Shelter can continue offering the children of Northwest Arkansas a safe haven from abuse. Since opening in March of 2019, The Shelter Shop has been a pretty massive undertaking, just like opening any small business.

Furthermore, the volunteers at The Shop have taken this challenge head-on and are working hard towards offering another way for our community to get involved and give back. Over this past summer, I volunteered on multiple occasions to help tag and sort clothing, of which there was no shortage. After two hours in the warehouse with 100+ degree temperatures, I was beat, but the volunteers kept charging on! Needless to say, I was impressed – impressed with their upbeat attitude, hard work, and dedication. These individuals don’t get the praise they deserve for their work in our community, yet here they are, working towards making our community better, one day at a time.

These are our Hometown Heroes.

I am now entering my sophomore year in high school and have amassed over 40 hours of community service, and countless more to come, through the Young Men’s Service League program. I am grateful for the opportunities that YMSL has given me; the kind, wonderful, philanthropic individuals that I have been surrounded with; and the boundless future opportunities that are to come. I am thankful for all the work that our Hometown Heroes put into our community. These heroes strive to ensure that everybody is welcome, everybody is safe, everybody is cared for, and everybody has a place.

Ethan Chriss is a sophomore at Bentonville High School. He is on the BHS Swim and Dive team and swims competitively for Northwest Arkansas Aquatics. He has been playing the cello since he was 8 years old and plays in the Chamber Orchestra at BHS. In his spare time, he’s a music producer, DJ, and aspiring entrepreneur. Ethan is an excellent example of the fine young men that participate in the Young Men’s Service League (YMSL).

To learn more about YMSL, visit ymslozark. org or ymslnational.org, or follow ymslozark on Facebook.

These are our

Hometown Heroes.

Bentonville's premier Cage-Free Doggy Daycare and Hotel for dogs. Our staff loves dogs and people, too! We offer a 24 x 7 staffed 12,000 square ft facility on 4 acres with tons of space to roam with large indoor and outdoor play yards, swimming pools and other enrichment activities.

Staff is trained in Pet CPR/First Aid as well as Dog Behavior & Group Play.

Don't miss NWArkansas first NADD/AKC Dock Diving competition on October 12-13.

CHECK US OUT AT COOLWAG.COM/EVENTS

We offer training for puppies through adult either one-onone, group classes or during daycare or boarding. Behavior, manners and sport!

TO REGISTER: coolwag.com/register | FACEBOOK: facebook/coolwag | 479-273-3553 / info@coolwag.com | 1100 J ST, Bentonville AR 72712 28 September 2019

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500 SE Plaza Avenue Bentonville, Arkansas

30 September 2019

September to November

FALL

Enroll in Trike Academy this Fall!

Registration opens August 1.

Classes are available for PreK through 12th grade.

Visit triketheatre.org to learn more and sign up!

Cultivate Creativity.

Build Character.

Strengthen Communities.

Get 10% off classes by using code TrikeFall10.

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September PET EVENTS! 1 Year Paw-Versary Party September 7 - 1pm EarthWise Pet, Bentonville Can you believe it’s been a year since we opened our doors here in Bentonville?!?

Join us for an event full of fun for you and your pets, including: -Giveaways -Adoptable pets -FREE pet photos -Free pet and human treats!

-Free pet bandanas while supplies last -Pet vendors for dog walking, pet sitting, etc.

-Grooming specials

Pooch Plunge benefiting Springdale Animal Services September 8 - 1-3pm Springdale Aquatic Center “Pooch Plunge”: a pool day for the dogs. Let your dog swim and play with other dogs. The pool will be drained following this event. To get in the gate, you must bring a pet donation (one per dog) and proof of your dog’s current vaccinations.

Barks, Booze and BBQ September 14 - 11am The Hive · Bentonville Join us during Farmer’s Market Dog Days for a delicious barbecue by James Beardnominated chef Matthew McClure, with Bike Rack Brewery drafts. Animals are welcome and encouraged! Rogers Humane Society will be on-site with furry friends that you can adopt and give a forever home! Three Dogs Bakery will also be present with treats for your pets. Tickets purchased in advance include barbecue buffet and one drink token.

Library Story Times: Bentonville Public Library: bentonvillelibrary.org Fayetteville Public Library: faylib.org Springdale Public Library: springdalelibrary.org Rogers Public Library: rogerspubliclibrary.org Siloam Springs Library: siloamsprings.com

Sunflower Jubilee

September 6, 7, 13, 14, 20, 21 Farmland Adventures We have planted a larger patch with more varieties than ever before! We will also be selling sunflowers during the event for the first time. A viewing platform is being planned so that you can see them even better. Don’t miss out... sunflowers don’t last long!

Salvation Army Cornhole Tournament

September 7 | 11am Salvation Army of NWA | Fayetteville Join us for free family fun! Bounce houses, face painting, games, food, and more! The proceeds from the cornhole tournament will help support the Salvation Army’s Community Youth Program. Details about the tournament are as follows: Registration begins at 11am for $50/team; double elimination 2-person tournament; prizes for 1st - 3rd place; and 50/50 raffle tickets available at the event.

Blue Man Group

September 10 -September 19 Walton Arts Center More than 35 million people on our blue planet have experienced the exciting and spectacular show that is Blue Man Group. And now, the Blue Men return with a brand new show — Blue Man Group Speechless Tour. Speechless will feature new and original compositions, acts and instruments alongside iconic Blue Man Group moments based in joy, art, music, comedy, social commentary and profound absurdity. We see fun in your future. If you like normal, think again — ‘cause Blue Man Group is a rollicking rave of a good time. Join us to experience a brand new blue!

Downtown Rogers - Art on the Bricks - Art Walk September 12 | 4:30-7:30pm Downtown Rogers You’ll meet talented artists, craftsmen and musicians as they bring their products to shops and restaurants and provide an exciting opportunity to explore revitalized Downtown Rogers. Participating businesses are located on 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Streets, as well as Arkansas St, Walnut St, Elm St and Locust St www.godowntownrogers.com/art-on-thebricks

Bentonville Oktoberfest

International Festival

September 15 | 2-6pm Botanical Garden of the Ozarks This family-friendly event is FREE and open to the entire community! No tickets necessary. Guests can visit interactive booths with displays and activities from all corners of this diverse planet. Traditional dance performances from different countries will take place on the Great Lawn throughout the evening. Picnics, blankets and lawn chairs are welcome. No pets, please. This event is part of Welcoming Week, a series of events nationwide bringing together immigrants, refugees, and native-born residents to raise awareness about the benefits and importance of welcoming everyone.

Play with Passion

September 18 | 5:30pm Crystal Bridges Join Crystal Bridges and “Play with Passion” at Buckyball for an evening of glow-inthe-dark fun! Play with Passion NWA is a volunteer organization through the Bentonville Schools that visits community sites once a month to promote activities and athletics for youth with disabilities and their families. The event at Crystal Bridges will feature art projects that glow in the dark at Buckyball, plus a glow ride to Orchards Park with a cookout by Mojo Cycling. Free.

Register by contacting Sheila Munn at smunn@bentonvillek12.org

September 21 | 6-9:30pm First National Bank of NWA 402 SW A Street, Bentonville This outdoor event features local and regional breweries, brats, music and a silent auction.

The Brewhouse sponsor is Keurig Dr. Pepper and proceeds will benefit Havenwood and the Northwest Arkansas Children’s Shelter.

Tickets are available at nwaoktoberfest.com.

Fees/Admission: Regular: $45 VIP: $60

Community Craft Fair

September 21 | 9am Bentonville Community Church of the Nazarene Come shop from over 50 vendors, enjoy food, and have a chance to win a raffle every 15 minutes (all vendors will put in a prize!)

Free entrance!

Family Art Social

September 22 | 2pm University of Arkansas - Delta Delta Delta Bring your little artist out to the Tri Delta Chapter house, where we will have the Art Feeds Bus there for your little ones to paint a dolphin and/or pig. Yes, both girls and boys are welcomed to this event--the more the merrier! **There will be a $5 fee per child for the art supply that is needed**

2019 Homegrown Festival

September 28 | 10am - 5pm Main Street Siloam Springs The Homegrown Festival showcases locally handmade goods, curated vintage, food trucks, and live music.

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LO O K A N D F E E L

YO U R B E S T At Women’s Health Associates, we want you to feel confident about every aspect of your life, including how you look. That’s why we offer a number of aesthetic services designed to help you be your best self at every stage of your life.

FA C I A L S Designed to help you put your best face forward, let us help you discover a more beautiful and youthful-looking you. All facials include an in-depth skin analysis, cleansing and exfoliation of the neck, face, and décolleté.

Also Offering: Dermaplaning | Microneedling | Chemical Peels | Microdermabrasion

I N J E C TA B L E S A N D D E R M A L F I L L E R S As we age, our faces naturally lose subcutaneous fat and the “plump” look of our youth. Injectables and dermal fillers can be used to help diminish facial lines and restore volume and fullness in the face. Plump thin lips, enhance shallow contours, soften facial creases and wrinkles, and improve the appearance of recessed scars.

Offering: BOTOX® Cosmetic | JUVEDERM®

I N T I M AT E W E L L N E S S CO2RE Intima vaginal treatments help restore your vaginal health… and help you rediscover what you’ve lost. The procedure only takes a few minutes and many women report symptom relief after the very first treatment. The treatments use laser energy to stimulate healing and renewed collagen that results in increased elasticity and natural lubrication, decreased urine leakage, and more pleasurable sex.

B O DY C O N T O U R I N G Love the idea of reshaping your body, but not the reality of incisions or scars? Our non-invasive procedures don’t require any incisions and deliver noticeable results. The treatments work to improve the appearance of cellulite, reduce dimpled skin, and tighten skin on the abdomen, love handles, hips, thighs and other areas that require fat reduction. BodyFX addresses problematic fatty tissue in larger body areas such as the abdomen, back (flanks), and thighs. MiniFX addresses problematic fatty tissue in smaller areas like the neck, arms, and knees. Forma tightens the skin on the face, neck and hands.

Also offering: Photo facials with Lumecca | Laser Hair Removal | Waxing Spider Vein Treatment

500 SE PLAZA AVENUE BENTONVILLE, ARKANSAS

479-876-8111 www.whanwa.com 34 September 2019

welcome,

Grant Gaines, MD Dr. Grant Gaines is a welcome addition to the pediatric care team at Northwest Arkansas Pediatrics in Fayetteville and Pinnacle Hills.

Schedule your child’s wellness exam or acute care appointment with Dr. Gaines by using the myMANA Health Portal or by calling (479) 442-7322. wellness care / acute care / newborn care / adolescent care walk-in clinic / immunizations / ask the nurse

nwapediatrics.com

PINNACLE HILLS

FAYETTEVILLE

FAYETTEVILLE

Wellness Clinic & Acute Care & Walk-in Clinic

Wellness Clinic

Acute Care & Walk-in Clinic

3730 S. Pinnacle Hills Pkwy Rogers | 479.464.5597 Monday-Friday, 8am-5:30pm

3383 N. MANA Ct., Suite 101 Fayetteville | 479.443.3471 Monday-Friday, 8am-5pm

3380 N. Futrall Drive Fayetteville | 479.442.7322 Monday-Friday, 8am-7:30pm Saturday, 8am-11am

Midlife Crisis - or -

northwestarkansas.citymomsblog.com

by Sonia Spinks My 9-year-old son is obsessed with Marvel characters. Last summer, he watched all 10 million movies in three months so he could see “Infinity Wars” in the theatre and never miss a beat. He loved every minute, but I certainly didn’t get it.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

36 September 2019

This summer, he decided I needed a “project” (he gets that from his mama), and memorizing Marvel character storylines and traits while he quizzed me was my assignment. It’s been... interesting.

davidadams.com

100 West Center, Ste 101 Fayetteville 479-444-7778

As I’ve given superheroes more attention, I’ve begun relating to the broad appeal. After all, impossible underdogs rise to the occasion, power and humanity collide, stuff blows up, and, just when you think all is lost, the hero has a moment of clarity to save the day. The lessons are simple:

Be compassionate.

Connect with your friends.

Believe in yourself.

All the stuff we tell our kiddos.

At 41, I’ve accomplished a lot, and to say I’m grateful is an understatement. Statistically, I should have been a teen mom with a drug habit. Instead, my hubby and I are breaking the mold and fighting for a new generation!

Then why am I so blue?

I assumed I must be having a midlife crisis. After all, I’ve been questioning my life choices, and I beat myself up over every mistake. I count the years until my kids move out and agonize over wasted time. I work my butt off in corporate America, just to realize I love something that will never truly love me back.

These are telltale midlife crisis symptoms, right?

Minus the sports car and boyfriend, of course.

But, as I’ve been studying these superheroes, I’ve given myself a lot more grace. There’s not one single character who didn’t massively screw something up before ultimate victory. There has been disappointment, narcissism, betrayal, and even death required to pivot from tragic flaws to heroism.

Anyone can be a Hero.

Shazam went from being a foster kid to (arguably) more powerful than Superman. His unlikely rise also made it more fun. When you realize your power, enjoy it!

Be Confident in being Unique.

We are all specifically created to be ourselves. A lot of these superheroes are ‘mutants’ just trying to find a place in this human world. Sound familiar? Pro tip: most of social media represents unique mutants just pretending to be perfect.

Your flaws can be your greatest qualities.

I’m just saying that when I turn into the Hulk, stuff gets done.

You are not alone.

Sometimes this life beats us down, and we feel the need to retreat. Never forget, however, that you are part of a larger community of mothers who understand and will lift you up. Just say you need it! Teamwork makes the dream work. Avengers... assemble.

Build a Lair.

Create a space away from the world that lets you connect with something bigger than yourself. No kids allowed.

It’s hard to admit to the struggle (see point #2), but one benefit of this life stage is caring less about what people think and more about life purpose. It’s not about recovering lost youth, it’s about maximizing your light in this world full of shadows.

So, lets leave the midlife crisis to the balding billionaires.

The Key is Clarity.

And, since us mamas are superheroes, I’ve decided that these superhero and heroine lessons are the best examples for pushing through the drama to overcome every circumstance.

38 September 2019

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”

– Kahlil Gibran

80% of all learning occurs visually, meaning children with poor vision are at a major disadvantage.

According to the American Optometric Association (AOA), infants should have their first comprehensive eye exam at 6 months of age, which is free nationally through the InfantSEE program.

Children then should receive additional eye exams at 3 years old, and just before they enter kindergarten or the first grade at about age 5 or 6.

(479) 268-3268 | www.BentonvilleEyeCare.com | Find us on facebook

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HEROES AMONG US

Colten Hutcheson I am proud to call my brother, Colten Hutcheson, a hometown hero. He started his career with Rogers Police Department, and now serves as a Sergeant at the Centerton Police Department. He attended Gentry High School and was a member of the football team.

He married his high school sweetheart, Emily, and they have two children together – Adelyn is three, and Maverick will be one this month.

He is also a member of First Baptist Highfill Church. He has served on numerous mission trips to Alaska, helping with the ‘Salmon Frenzy,’ and has had teaching positions at his church. In his free time, he likes to spend time with family, go hunting, watch the Hogs or Steelers play, and help out on the family farms.

Growing up, my brother and I shared a special bond, as he was the oldest and I was the youngest. We would have brother-sister date nights about twice a month that consisted of anything from movies, to mini golf, to shopping, to even just listening to and singing songs. He had a big brother ‘protector’ personality, and now I understand that it was due to more than me being his sister. Colten truly has a genuine passion for protecting people he cares about, and also people he doesn’t know. He just wants to offer help. When I asked him why he decided

to pursue a career in law enforcement, he said, without any hesitation, “I want to provide assistance to those in need, and give back to the community in any way possible.” Colten does just that. It doesn’t matter if he is on duty wearing his badge, or off work shopping at a store. If he sees something he can help with, he will jump up and lend a hand.

Colten also has a huge impact on my three kids’ lives. As I currently care for them by myself, they look to him as a positive male role model in their life. My children absolutely admire the amount of time he spends trying to teach them new things. Although they are young, they understand completely that he is the most sincere and loving man they know, and that he would do anything for them. I know that every day when he puts that uniform on, he doesn’t question if he made the right choice to go out and protect those he doesn’t know. Instead, he puts it on proudly and probably says something to the effect of, “Lord, please use me to help someone today that is in need.”

As Colten’s littlest sister, I am very proud of the man, father, leader, and hero that he is to our community and family. I love you bub!

Mattie Herrel

Chief Webb and Officer Hannah at Highfill oversee and protect the children at the Northwest Arkansas Children’s Shelter. Day in and day out, they are constantly bringing a new outlook on law enforcement to kids who, in most cases, only view police as bad guys who sometimes take away their moms and dads.

Britton Campbell

40 September 2019

Hunter Smith is an amazing dad to our five babies: Hudson, 10; Hadley, 9; Holden, 6; Hayes (who would be 3 - unfortunately, we lost him during my pregnancy); and Beau Henry I. Hunter is like so many dads – he’s ‘Mr. Fix-It,’ the grill master, coaches the boys’ baseball teams, and drives us on all of our trips, keeping us laughing with his corny jokes and singing in the car.

He’s also not like other dads. Hunter is a firefighter/ paramedic. He serves as Captain for the Bentonville Fire Department, and is also an EMS Operations Manager for Northwest Hospital.

For the past 10 years, he’s worked two jobs to get our kids through preschool and keep us ahead of the bills so that the kids can play all their sports.

Along with working two jobs, he’s been doing his best to show up to soccer and baseball games, dance recitals, school programs and presentations, conferences, and birthday lunches at school. He even occasionally helps me in my kindergarten classroom!

For 17 years, he’s been serving Bentonville by putting out fires, pulling people out of accidents, and literally saving lives. He’s been on the tough end of so many hard calls in our community... calls where he was with people in their last moments, or recovering those that have already passed.

Most recently, he went on a call for a little boy who was the same age as our youngest son. This sweet baby was found by his family, unresponsive in water. My husband and his crew brought this sweet little boy back to life. An absolute miracle! Hunter was actually supposed to be on the baseball field

with our 6-year-old, but, thankfully, the call came and he was present for the exact moment God meant for him to be in.

So many people don’t understand the sacrifices we make as a family because of his job. He misses holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, games, and vacations, etc.

They don’t think about the emotional toll his job comes with. I am so proud of my husband – how he balances being a dad who always does his best to show up with his career helping others, all in the town where he was born and raised.

Kali Smith

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42 September 2019

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, ff u r uff,

r

! d a Re

by: Ben Lacy

As a member of the Bentonville Library Foundation Board of Directors, and a member of the Peekaboo ‘prose posse,’ it was kind of cool to be tasked with writing an article that merged my memberships.

My job was pretty simple... or so I thought. My charge: “Write something fun about the library.”

It wasn’t easy, because there are about a bajillion awesome things happening at the Bentonville Public Library these days. Checking the calendar, I found I could sit back for some storytime, take a writing workshop, meditate, learn origami, get beaten badly in chess (I’m awful), learn how to interview, catch a film, go to Pokémon club (and get beaten worse than chess), attend a theater workshop, play with DUPLO® bricks, hear a band, learn more about genealogy – oh, or check out a book – just to name a few.

Nevertheless, one particular event caught my eye: Ruff, Ruff, Read. Upon further examination, I learned that meant reading to, and with, a dog!

What’s more, the dog’s name was Obi – which is like the most incredible amazing name ever for a Star Wars nerd like me. You see, my favorite Jedi was and is Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Alas, I got the name and the movie wrong. Nope, Obi the dog is a bit more classically inclined than me. Obi is short for King Oberon from Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream (which, honestly, I haven’t read yet, but has to 44 September 2019

be better than Star War’s Episodes 1, 2, 3, 7 and 8 – a purist, I am). Fitting that a dog named after one of history’s most famous poets found a job at a library. Obi doesn’t resemble any of the myriad of Star Wars characters and creatures; however, he is a dead ringer for Falkor, the giant dog-like luck dragon from The NeverEnding Story. Actually, he’s a Great Pyrenees. And honestly... he’s a really Great Pyrenees.

Love on a Leash is a nonprofit organization dedicated to assisting with volunteer pet therapy teams, and Obi is a five-year-old Love on a Leashlicensed therapy dog. He visits the Bentonville Public Library one Saturday per month (other Saturdays feature different pooches; unsure if they resemble 80s fictional movie characters, but I hope so) with his owner and partner, Mr. Larry, as part of the Ruff Ruff Read program. I say ‘partner’ because they both perform different but equally important jobs as they meet and greet youngsters in the Children’s Library. Obi’s assignment is to pay attention – sort of, since sometimes he catches a quick nap. Mr. Larry’s focus is encouraging kids to read. As he told me, “I don’t correct kids when they say a word incorrectly, and neither does Obi.” Which was nice, but also a bit of a bummer since a talking dog would be awesome (see: luck dragon).

But seriously, their team goal is to encourage children to read – and they know that the more kids read, the better they will get at it and, more importantly, enjoy it.

He’s also a trooper and will play (okay, lay) through the pain. Obi just returned to the Ruff Ruff Read program after recovering from his second ACL repair. His brother, Poe, filled in while he was laid up. I’ve also been told Poe is larger than Obi...

Wowza.

So, make some time and check out my new pal Obi (and check out some books too!) He’s at the Bentonville Library the second Saturday of each month. You can also meet his Ruff Ruff Read canine colleagues on the other Saturdays.

Finally, if you haven’t seen or read The NeverEnding Story and are sitting here wondering what a luck dragon is, know that the book, DVD and Blu-ray are all available for convenient checkout at the Bentonville Public Library!

Obi would tell you (again, if he could talk) that it takes practice to be a good reader, just like it takes practice to become a good therapy dog.

He’s gone through extensive training, passed obedience school, and logged over ten hours of behavioral review. He’s also super busy. Outside of lounging at the library, Obi regularly visits the VA Medical Center in Fayetteville and can be found on occasion at the Northwest Arkansas Airport.

The Ruff Ruff Read Program began in 2009 with Jesse, a yellow Laborador retriever, who served until 2015.

Since then, a host of other dogs have encouraged, supported and helped develop the reading skills of children at the Bentonville Public Library.

To date, the Ruff Ruff Read teams have welcomed over 5,500 visitors!

But, as Mr. Larry says, “kids are his thing” and Obi would happily chill in the library all day with his newfound friends. The day I visited, he had several, including Tanner Lundquist (pictured).

Tanner is a ten-year-old “first timer” to Ruff Ruff Read. He saw the program on the Bentonville Library calendar of events and thought it sounded cool (great minds…). He and Obi quickly hit it off, and soon Tanner was reading while his new fluffy friend relaxed at his feet. Several other children flocked to the canine, and Obi met all of them with a smile, a whole lot of fur and eyes that said, “Why yes, please do pet me.”

He’s a gentle giant. Take another look at the picture.

Yep, Obi’s pretty massive. I laid down next to him and he easily outsized my six-foot frame. Mr. Larry told me about a previous event they attended which also featured a therapy pony... except Obi was larger than the pony!

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Li st ec k Ch Sc ho ol to Ba ck

We’re off to see the DOCTOR...

Back-to-school check-ups offer pediatricians a chance to give your child a thorough physical exam, one that addresses any emotional and/or developmental concerns.

This information is invaluable as you head into a new school year, endeavoring to make it the most successful year yet!

T ime to Floss!

With Halloween around the corner, scary teeth shouldn’t be something you have to worry about. Studies show that dental check-ups are more than just a task to check off of your to-do list – regular dental exams for children are a critical part of whole body preventive health care.

All the Better to See You With Vision testing at an early age is vital to ensure your child has the visual skills he or she needs to perform well in school. According to the AOA, a child should have eye exams beginning at age 3, then before entering kindergarten or first grade, and every 1-2 years thereafter, unless diagnosed with vision problems.

If corrective lenses are prescribed, or other vision concerns appear, appointments should be scheduled yearly.

46 September 2019

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Dad’s View

with Ben Lacy Just checked one off the ol’ bucket list! Yep, accomplished a personal major life goal, which is always fun, but also a bit concerning. Once you check them all off, does that mean it’s time to kick the bucket? I suppose it’s kind of like my neverending “To Do List”– it’s never-ending because of my irrational concern that, upon completion, the ‘guy in the sky’ will decide there’s nothing left for me to do and put me (hopefully!) on an express elevator upward. My wife thinks there’s another reason for the list’s longevity: procrastination.

Besides, I’m not that old, right? Isn’t it funny how your definition of “old”, and “young” for that matter, changes radically as you progress through the years (okay, decades)? I recall when twenty-five seemed really, really old; now, it seems really, really young.

Anyway, the recently marked-off bucket list item was a trip to a land of crisp clear blue waters, gently swaying palm trees, and warm sandy beaches.

48 September 2019

For me, it was paradise, or so I thought. Actually, “thought” is the wrong verb for this situation. It was going to be paradise, or so I had “planned.”

If you are a Dad’s View regular, or speak to my kids, you know I use (and overuse) my fair share of clichés, quotes and dad-isms. Comments like “The best ability is availability,” “God gave you two ears and one mouth so use them proportionately,” “Don’t ever ask anyone to do something you wouldn’t do,” “I will lay siege to this house if someone doesn’t bring back my iPhone charger,” and “You always miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” Yeah, I know, I’m a joy to live with. But another one I’ve used in these pages is, “Vacation is just home in another location.” I’m not so good at taking my own advice, and that leads us to today’s topic: Trouble in Paradise.

From a planning perspective, we stayed at the perfect spot on a perfect beach in a perfect town

with perfect restaurants and a perfect vibe. There were no crowds, the weather would have made San Diego jealous, the waves were spectacular, and our phones are now chock full of millionlike-Instagram-award-winning-pictures.

Heck, we even swam with dolphins! Problem was, we brought more “luggage” than I had anticipated.

Some very particular luggage that I thought, hoped, and planned would be left in 72712. You know, all those household disputes, debates and disagreements that really could have used a vacation of their own.

But... that’s super unrealistic. I mean, perhaps a request for some sort of truce or temporary standdown in the day-to-day family follies could have been proposed; however, that didn’t, couldn’t and wouldn’t have happened. There were several explosions that, once released, were very difficult to contain, ignore or suppress. Imagine trying to shove the Big Bang back into one of those little plastic things that you get bouncy balls out of quarter machines at pizza places. Yep, pretty futile.

Oh, there was plenty of blame and shame to go around. Let’s start with me, “The Dad”. Yes, I’m a full-on Clark W. Griswald Christmas Vacation clone. I believed everything on this trip would and should be perfect, because (1) this is at the top of my bucket list, and (2) it’s not free. Two big problems with that philosophy. This trip was on MY bucket list, but not everyone else’s. And the whole fun-robbing expense excuse inevitably led to the “You don’t know how hard I worked to get us here!” speech (well, tantrum). And yeah, that filibuster doesn’t hold much water, even when on the beach. Meaning, I actually answered my own

question, because obviously my kids have zero idea how much work and planning it takes to go on a beach trip... they’ve never done it. Duh. Next up: “The Queen.” Also known as, “the one the kids come to when something is wrong.” She’s the keeper of many an offspring secret and the unfortunate liaison between Dad and the children.

Her task of keeping the peace was about as easy as trying to catch fireflies in winter while blindfolded.

I discovered many things that apparently go on all the time at home when I’m not around, that also happened on vacation when I was around, which I didn’t quite find to be Kosher.

The kids contributed, too. The youngest is on the cusp of becoming a teenager, and since we’ve seen this movie before with his older siblings, the occasional episode of insanity was easy to brush away. However, the older urchins, ages sixteen and eighteen, brought new challenges. Both now have jobs and cars and lives outside of 24/7 parental supervision. Take that freedom away, and shove them into an overly bright blue Honda Accord rental car (never seen a car so bright blue) and a two-bedroom VRBO for a week without a “Get Out of Jail Free” card and things can get messy.

So, externally, paradise was there. We could touch it, feel it and smell it. Internally, though, we found we’re a bit shy of nirvana, and shoving the nuclear family back together occasionally led to nuclear-esque eruptions. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all Game of Thrones. There were moments of absolute bliss, uncontrollable belly laughs and an unforgettable epic game of spoons that we will never forget.

They say that pictures of paradise just don’t do it justice. True that! I always thought that meant it was even more gorgeous than the photos, but now I know it means there are things in the real-life, 3D world that you don’t get to experience while looking at pictures in 2D. Some are good, some are bad. However, I now have gigs upon gigs of pictures and videos of paradise. To close with another Dad’s View dad-ism,

“I can t wait to look back on them fondly”.

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Pet Picks

Picks www.dogpartyusa.com

Does your pup get the blues while you’re on vacation or when you’re at work? Do you feel anxiety or guilt when you (understandably) need some alone time, away from the responsibilities of home, hearth and hound? Enter Dog Party USA, the company that has, since 2005, been creating a fun, safe, and comfortable environment for NWA’s “man’s best friends” to socialize and wear themselves out with playful, healthy exercise. Their five-acre, state-of-the-art facility offers an incredibly array of benefits and activities, from five indoor, climate-controlled play areas for all-weather fun, to ten outdoor enclosures covered with ‘K-9 grass’ turf – specifically designed for dogs to avoid dirt and allergies – with shaded areas attached, and two acres of fenced outdoor land for dogs to run freely in safety. Also on site are gazebos, an agility yard, play structures, and trained play supervisors, as well as professional grooming technicians and obedience training lessons. Dog Party USA, as recipient of the award for Best Boarding and Daycare Facility in NWA for over 10 years than a row, definitely more than lives up to its name and reputation in excellent dog care. After all, dogs need (and deserve!) a vacation, too!

912 S. Maestri Rd., Springdale (479) 306-4660 52 September 2019

www.coolwag.com

When you head out of town, finding the right sitter or doggy daycare for your favorite pooch(es) can be a huge headache. Sure, you’ve found someone to come by once a day, but won’t your dog be bored and stressed with almost no interaction?

You don’t want them in a cage all day, waiting for a potty break. Take them to Coolwag! Coolwag is a doggy day care, hotel and spa run by firstclass dog lovers, dog trainers, and grooming professionals. It’s staffed 24/7 so pups are never left alone and aren’t put in a cage at night. In order to create the best environment for your pooch, they separate all dogs by age, personality, and size, and provide them with a choice of a 12,000 square foot indoor space or the 4-acre outside property (with a doggy swimming pool) to run and get all their energy out. The staff at Coolwag promises to give your furry best friend the best of care, taking safety, social interaction, exercise, and relaxation all into consideration.

In addition, Coolwag has a great, conveniently family-friendly location, as it’s right down the street from Crystal Bridges and the Amazeum!

1100 NE J St, Bentonville (479) 273-3553

Three Dog Bakery facebook : 3DogBentonville All-natural, handmade, high quality treats for dogs. Three Dog Bakery carries treats, food, accessories, and more!

Located on the Bentonville square. A ‘one stop shop’ for your dog!

113 W Central Ave, Bentonville (479) 268-5599

facebook: wagsmobile The Wags Mobile Dog Salon is designed to operate independently, without needing to connect to your home. The interior of the van is designed with a stainless steel tub, a hydraulic grooming table, and all other grooming necessities much like any professional grooming salon. The service includes two shampoos to ensure a clean, healthy coat, a facial scrub to maintain a healthy snout while safely cleaning around the sensitive eye area, a conditioning treatment, ear cleansing, gland expression, teeth brushing, pawdicure (nails trimmed), blow-out, and style of your choice.

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Picks

www.jointforcesk9.com It is a truth universally acknowledged (or nearly universally, if you include ‘cat people’) that dogs have been “man’s best friend” for millennia.

Once domesticated from their fellow wolves, they quickly learned to perform valuable tasks for their humans, coupling that usefulness with the affectionate companionship we still enjoy today. This storied history informs the work that Rob Shewmake, a U.S. Army veteran and former military police officer, does with his company, Joint Forces K9.

Shewmake’s experience with the K9 section of the military inspired his current line of work, as he “grew to love dogs and what they were capable of.” The unique strength of the humandog relationship is highlighted at his company, which offers everything from basic pet training, to boarding, to working dog-level services.

The latter encompasses service dog, hunting, protection, tracking, and detection dog training (i.e. narcotics and explosives.) To cover all these bases, Joint Forces K9 employs five trainers, three of which are Master Level, who specialize in tracking, scent and bite work, and service dog training. They also have a dog behaviorist with a 4-year degree from Purdue on staff who works with special case behavioral issues. If you already have a dog that you’d like to train

for obedience, protection, or another skill, the Joint Forces staff offers a free evaluation of your dog. “Not just any dog can be a protection dog,” explained Shewmake. The dog has to show signs of having the proper motivation and ‘environmentals.’ Additionally, “a concern from owners is that their dog is too old for training,” said Shewmake,”but all dogs can get something from our training. A well-mannered dog can really make a difference in your daily activities at home.

Of course, if you have a puppy, it’s good to start them [with obedience training] when they’re 8-12 weeks old, to work on lasting behaviors.”

When it comes to specialized training, Joint Forces K9 takes their job very seriously. “Scent training, or detection work, is very important,” said Shewmake, “not only in law enforcement and military jobs, but also for some service dogs as well. In fact,” he continued, “we just completed training for a service dog for a client that had lifethreatening reactions to any apple odors. We also had the privilege of placing the first service dog in the Walmart Home Office for a veteran with PTSD.” Dogs also save lives by getting dangerous narcotics off the streets and clearing areas of explosives for the general public, the military, and other government operations. While these specially trained dogs don’t necessarily have to be breed-specific, there are some breeds that are preferred. “We have partners in the Netherlands that hand-select the working dogs that are sent to us,” said Shewmake. ‘Joint Forces’ is meant to signify the two countries working together.

What’s next for a top-of-the-line training facility like Joint Forces K9? “We should have our new 4,000-square foot indoor training facility open by November of this year, and, at the same time, our private detection services should also be up and running,” explained Shewmake. “This will allow private companies and individuals to call us for the detection of narcotics and bed bugs.”

Further, by next spring Joint Forces should have their dock diving pool up and running so that they can bring the sport of dock diving sports to NWA. Finally, if business continues at the current pace, Joint Forces will open another kennel building to increase their boarding and training capabilities, which is great news for current and new customers in Northwest Arkansas.

17606 Highway 16, Siloam Springs info@jointforcesk9.com

-The Pehlman’s-

y d d u B e l t t a B Meet Thor by: Frances Wilson

For Derrick Pehlman, his 17th birthday couldn’t come fast enough. Turning 17 marked his first legal opportunity to sign up with the National Guard, serve his country, and get his college tuition paid for. After graduating from high school a year later, in the summer of 1989, he left for basic training, and quickly realized that he was going to be, as he termed it, a ‘lifer’ in the National Guard.

“Once you get to training,” he said, “you figure out very quickly whether you’re just doing this to get it done, or if you’re going to be in for life.” He stayed in the National Guard throughout his time in college at the University of Illinois, Springfield, where he got a degree in biology, and kept reenlisting, eventually totalling up more than 20 years in the service. Sarah and Derrick met in their 20s, when they were both church youth leaders, 56 September 2019

and have now been married 19 years, with two children, Drew and Lydia.

During his 23 years in the National Guard, Derrick had special training every year for an average of three months out of the year. “The time obligation is real,” Derrick said. “A lot of that was by choice, though,” he continued, “because of the job I had.” Derrick was a battalion-level intelligence analyst, and, when he was sent to Iraq as part of the second wave, Operation Iraqi Freedom 2, he would manage battles live – air support, infantry, everything. He planned supply routes and convoys, working country-wide in Iraq, sometimes having to manage three convoys and battles at once, which was mind-bending, to say the least. He did this nonstop from early December 2003 to late

January 2005. “There’s no place in Iraq I didn’t go,” said Derrick, “during the worst, most violent year.

We fought a lot -- a LOT. I was being engaged, or engaging someone, on almost a daily basis. Even when we were on post we were getting mortared and rocketed.” Another one of Derrick’s jobs was to investigate all deaths, injuries and attacks in his battalion. “To this day, I can smell and taste iron from the blood drying in that heat. There’s no way back from that,” he said, “the whole thing was surreal. After a while, you just have to quit caring, and go about your day and try to survive.”

The mental switch to not caring was one that proved to be incredibly difficult to switch off once Derrick returned home. “He wants to go back to war because it’s easier not to care,” explained Sarah, “It’s hard for him here, home, because he has to care.” Derrick agreed, saying, “After you’re home for two weeks, you just want to go back to Iraq, even though all you wanted to do was to come home. Your brain gets reprogrammed like a war fighter, and your brain won’t stop being that war fighter. That’s where the PTSD comes in.”

part of the Army. “We ‘embraced t h e suck’,” as Derrick b l u nt l y put it. “When you’re a soldier, you never wanted to admit that you were hurt, broken, or damaged in any way.

You just overcome it -- whatever it is. Soldiers expect the unexpected, reject comfort, adapt, and overcome to get the job done.” This attitude, however, can only last for so long, and only cover up so much before it has to be addressed. “The Army is great at making soldiers,” said Derrick, “not civilians.” For Derrick, it was about four or five years after he returned that he truly faced that he had PTSD, a realization that was compounded with layers of extreme guilt. He felt guilty that he survived when others didn’t, that he planned routes where people died, and that other people didn’t have PTSD, but he did.

It took a long time for Derrick to even admit that he had PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, both because of the brain reprogramming and the culture of extreme endurance that was an essential

The PTSD from his time in Iraq affected not only Derrick, but his family. When Derrick mobilized, Drew was four months old, and Lydia was two years old. When he returned, Drew didn’t know

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him, though Lydia was ecstatic to see her dad. “That was the scariest time in my deployment,” said Derrick, “when I walked into the room coming home. That moment surpassed all the gunfire and IEDs (improvised explosive devises). The fear of knowing that you’re coming home, and you’re not the same, and you don’t know if you’ll be accepted or not is TERRIFYING.” Sarah had absolutely no idea that her husband was scared to come home. For her, she’d been waiting for this moment ever since he left. She and Derrick were coming into this moment from two vastly different mental places. “You send one husband away to war, and get another one back,” said Sarah.

Their family had to recalibrate entirely once he returned.

The inescapable truth is this: the way Derrick looks at the world is different now. He’s constantly in ‘fight or flight’ mode, analyzing every single situation he finds himself in as if he’s in battle and needs to ‘get his people out.’ Because of this nonstop paranoia, Derrick couldn’t be in public places.

He couldn’t go to his kids’ cross country meets or orchestra concerts, because the chaos of the crowd was too intense. He couldn’t stop his brain from cataloguing every movement and person present as a threat. And this loss of control is where his anger outbursts came in. “For instance, I can’t stand the sight or sound of spilling water or milk, or the dropping of a glass,” said Derrick, “because in the war, water was priceless. It’s a huge trigger for me... I go into a fit of rage.” Sarah was able to train Derrick to immediately leave the room when something like this happened, but she knew that this wasn’t the true solution for their family.

“The kids are a huge reason that we had to make a change,” said Sarah. Lydia is now 17, and a senior at Bentonville High School, and Drew is 16 and a sophomore at BHS. “As they have grown bigger, when Derrick would go into a flashback, he would see them as soldiers in uniform, not his kids.

We were dealing with more undesirable anger and outbursts, and it was so frustrating for all of us.”

Sarah began to do research on solutions for their family, and ended up finding impressive information on longitudinal studies that show dramatic improvements of PTSD symptoms in 58 September 2019

veterans who have a dedicated service dog. The decision to get a service dog would take a few more years, however, as Derrick was leery of the stigma that comes with having a service animal. “To me, the thought of getting a service animal was like hanging a sign around my neck that said, ‘I’m screwed up.’ It’s like a fire engine, screeching at everyone that you have a flaw, and that’s incredibly hard to deal with. It’s just not in my nature.” What finally pushed Derrick into acquiescing to the plan was the promise that he could make his kids’ lives better, and could reduce the intense, mind-numbing medication prescribed to him for his PTSD. Once Derrick was on board, Sarah went into overdrive. “From my research, I knew that the typical waiting time for a free service dog for a veteran is two to three years,” said Sarah, “and our teenagers weren’t going to last that long.” Luckily, Sarah found Joint Forces K9 at the Bentonville Farmers Market on Labor Day last year, which she attended solo because the crowd would be too much for Derrick. She met Rob Shewmake, the owner, who answered all of her questions about what getting a service dog entailed knowledgeably and at length. Because of how vital the work was that a potential service dog was going to do for Derrick and his family, Sarah wanted to work with a place that was nationally recognized, with high professional standards. A week later, she and Derrick met Thor, their service dog, and wrote Rob a check that day. “Rob was shocked,” chuckled Sarah, “but I told him our decision was years in the making. When the trainer brought Thor out, this little 15- or 16-week-old pup, I started to cry.

I can’t explain it, but seeing Thor and Derrick together... it was just right.”

It took ten months for the Pehlmans to finally take Thor home full-time due to the rigorous professional training he went through at Joint Forces K9. When he did come home with them, the effect was immediate and overwhelmingly positive. Service dogs, especially service dogs for veterans, are all unique, and need to be matched to the right human for them. Thor was picked with great care and trained specially to be Derrick’s ‘battle buddy’ – someone who always has his back, who will take care of Derrick the way Derrick takes care of him. Thor is a Belgian Malinois, a breed that Derrick describes as “German Shepherds

on steroids. Brilliant dogs, but definitely not for everyone. I’m high-drive myself, so Thor is perfect for me.” Thor helps Derrick in many ways, but he was specifically trained in nightmare interruption, flashbacks, and anger outbursts. Derrick’s nightmares were frequently violent, where Sarah would wake up to find him punching his pillow, and kicking and jabbing the bed. Loud noises, cars backfiring, and fireworks would trigger terrifying flashbacks, and anger outbursts made social (and family) interactions difficult. Thor intervenes and interrupts all these things for Derrick, as well as calming his crowd anxiety by leaning against his legs and alerting him to where everyone is in the room. With Thor, Derrick’s brain can finally take a break. “His outbursts have cut dramatically to happening hardly at all,” said Sarah, “and Derrick has been able to cut his medications, with his doctor’s approval. Thor is improving every aspect of our family life. Mike was his trainer at Joint Forces, and we can never thank him enough for all that he put into Thor for us. He has given us a priceless gift. ”

had to be made. Because PTSD is a hidden disease, I had to ‘come out,’ effectively, to my coworkers, and have a meeting to explain why I needed Thor, and how that would affect them. Thor is by my side 24/7, after all. Getting a service dog isn’t something you do alone... it involves everybody around you, too.” Thor even has his own Walmart Associate badge! Walmart has been, according to both Sarah and Derrick, “world-class” about Thor, making a difficult situation as comfortable as possible for everyone. Suffice to say, Thor has drastically improved life for the Pehlmans, and for Derrick, in ways they didn’t think were possible. “My goal is for a veteran to read this, or hear about this, and realize that there are options for them. That’s why I’m so open about what I’ve been through. There are options, and there’s hope.”

Additionally, Derrick has been able to bring Thor with him to his job at Walmart’s Home Office, which has been a huge blessing.

“Everyone has been super supportive,” he said, “but there were definitely accommodations that

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Dr. Averitt, Megan, Staci & and the staff of Best Start Pediatric Clinic would like to welcome our new Nurse Practitioner, Bessie Smith, APRN.

Dr. Katie Katie Beal Beal and and Dr. Dr. Amy Amy Fry Fry have have joined joined Northwest Northwest Women’s Women’s Specialty Specialty Dr. Group, aa part part of of Northwest Northwest Physicians.

Physicians. They They are are accepting accepting new new patients, patients, and and Group, welcoming all all former former patients. patients. IfIf you’ve you’ve been been aa patient patient of of Dr. Dr. Beal Beal or or Dr. Dr. Fry, Fry, call call welcoming us today for assistance in transferring your medical records. us today for assistance in transferring your medical records.

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for more more information. information. for

Katie Beal, Beal, M.D. M.D. Katie Board-Certified Board-Certified OB/GYN OB/GYN

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