IT’S OK. OK?

Words by Katherine Peach, Penarth View Sales Associate

I don’t have to tell you that these are difficult times. But I think it’s safe to say we never thought lockdown would be this hard. Stay inside? Don’t go to work? Get to spend your days doing whatever you want? That should be easy, right?

It’s okay that you’re having a hard time adjusting. It’s human nature to create a routine for yourself. We don’t thrive in chaos, so we do our best to control and order the things around us. But no matter how organised we are, or how we control the scenarios in front of us, we just have to accept the fact that sometimes things aren’t going to go the way we want it. And that’s okay.

With all the extra time on our hands, it’s no wonder that we find ourselves endlessly scrolling through social media, in an attempt to make ourselves feel more at ease. Yet we find ourselves bombarded by strangers displaying all the wonderful things they’ve been doing, celebrities giving you the best home workout routine, or your old high school friends showing off their new skills.

At first, I found myself feeling really guilty that I wasn’t doing the new 30- day ab workout, or learning to bake, or paint. I felt guilty that I wasn’t getting up early every morning and honing my new skills. I hated myself for not being super productive every waking minute. The voice in my head was asking why I hadn’t written a book, or learnt to play the piano, or become fluent in French. Never giving myself the time to breathe and relax—time which I should have given myself to accept the situation.

But it was ridiculous to think that I was alone in feeling like this.

So if ever you start to feel yourself slipping into a spiral of guilt, remember this—it’s okay!

It’s okay that you didn’t get up until midday today, or that you didn’t have a healthy breakfast. It’s okay that you spent most of the day bingewatching a show you’ve been dying to watch. It’s okay that you stayed in your pyjamas. It’s okay that you still haven’t done that DIY project that’s been staring you in the face for the past four months. It’s okay to not be okay.

It’s okay that you’re struggling with this new normal, because believe me, you’re not the only one. If you’re feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed or angry, it’s okay!

If spending a day watching TV makes you feel calm and relaxed, do it! If you want to have a lie in or spend the day just sitting and reading you’re favourite book, do it!

Having said that, if you find yourself falling into a pattern of activities that make you feel grumpy and groggy, it may be time to mix up your routine. Do just one thing slightly different. Maybe do try a workout video, or do a second attempt at that Victoria sponge. But do it because it makes you feel better, not because some old high school classmate made you feel bad about yourself.

This is your time as much as anyone else’s. You may be luckier than others, your situation may be easier than most. But that doesn’t mean that those feelings rattling around inside your head aren’t valid. Don’t apologise for feeling that way. Accept these feelings instead of pretending they’re not there, and try to find healthy ways of dealing with these emotions.

And it’s okay if you’re not feeling so great—reach out. Reach out to friends and family, even if it’s just for a little chat over the phone or a quick video chat. Remember you are not going through this alone. Once you realise that there is nothing to feel guilty about, you can begin dealing with these emotions better.

Despite everything going on, we can take comfort in the fact that it won’t last forever. And in six months’ time, we will be able to look back on this and see the positives within it. The moment when we took the time to reconnect with our families, the spent quality alone time we always wanted. The time we realised what was really important. The time when we played board games until we mastered them all, sunbathed outside with our questionable homemade cocktails.

I, for one, have never been prouder of this community. We will look back on these days and see how when crisis hit, we didn’t hide away from our neighbours. We did whatever we could to help and I hope these actions will carry through once this is all over.