PROSE
ALONE I can still see Earth, safe and warm and getting smaller everyday. I try not to look for too long or the wanting starts to hurt. I cried when they sealed me in. I was still crying when the thing started to shake. It was horrible violent shaking that rattled the very core of my being. It was like being turned upside down and inside out. All the while my lips were starting to feel the salt traveling down my face. I cannot tell you why I was afraid. They told me not to be. They showed me all the maps and calculations and things beyond my understanding. It all seemed very secure. But in the days before I couldn’t hear much more than my own furious heartbeat. The days before take off felt like nothing more than a dream. Cai, Arnold
The shaking lasted so long that I had almost gotten used to it. It was a terrible shock when it stopped. There is nothing like the complete and total stillness that makes you painfully aware of everything. Of course I was quickly distracted by the view from the windows. But the allure of the vast wears off faster than you would expect. For an hour, maybe two, all I could do was stare at it. All of it. Everyone I’ve ever known. Everyone I’ll never get to know. Animals and plants and millions of little lights. But it was so far away and only getting farther. I am the most alone that anyone has ever been. Sometimes I can feel my skin reaching out, desperately wanting to be touched. It is a craving so innate that it feels like hunger. I wonder if anyone will even be there when I come back. My nightmares are filled with images of a desolate planet. Maybe I will return only to be alone forever. Everyday I delve deeper into the ever expanding vacuum. It’s cold and cruel and all that I have to protect myself is a little metal box. A box made by human hands, which really are so small compared to the monstrous expanse. I hear it creaking sometimes and the wave of fear crashes into me anew. There’s always a little bit of fear there though. That bit never leaves, like a dull knife constantly digging into me. I keep looking into the cold and hollow void, imagining what it might do to me. I can still see Earth, safe and warm and getting smaller everyday. I try not to look for too long or the wanting starts to hurt. If I had the chance to lay on soft sunlit grass right now, I don't think I would ever get up. There is so much space between me and everyone else. It’s so cold and dark here and I want to go home. JAN 2021||The penchant|24
