What characteristics of Cyndy do you see that you love of her, and that attracts you to her. P a s t &/or P r e s e n t Trust is what comes to mind as the most important characteristic of Cyndy. She trusted me to give up her whole (american) background. Quotes of the book of Ruth frequently were present in our lives: and your people will be my people, and your land will be my land. She did venture into a big change, to another country, not speaking the language, with all the social prejudice of her peers and family; who are those people? and yet her gamble or trust (in me) was rewarded by God giving her, and me, a very nice life. The start was rocky, at our honey moon, lack of communication or difficulty in doing so, even drove me to such frustration that I hit her* - perhaps an unforgivable situation. From there on maybe she has always been afraid of me, of what an ill tempered, latin-mediterranean, macho man she married. For my peace of mind the slap produced - *no blood, no bruce, no missing teeth; besides much apologies it has not re occurred in the following 40 years. Perhaps, “better communication” has been the ingredient. It has also meant, no foul language in either of the languages, not that there ever was such a thing. I do recognize that I use analogies, and dramatize ideas, which have helped when ever lack of understanding happened. Persistence, as these lines will show, resemble my side of things, though not fanatic - by not changing my mind, nor the topic. Selecting our first home - La Casita. Though her “tact”first reaction, indicated I don’t trust your choice, maybe understandably so, it soon changed that it was nice, and perhaps very nice. At this point, since it is too far back in time, perhaps it was mediocre and she had no choice - how could she if she lived in another city? Plus she was not there to (help) find the best available. However for everyone around, it was like a dream house, and I think for her eventually too, definitively for me it was. We had been engaged for several months - since December, and this is late July or August when the wedding would be in October, and after deciding that La Casita was the best for us, the rent was $2,500 pesos a month, Cyndy asked: How much do you make? I answered, before taxes, $2,500 - but I am confident will make it, push or shove. She trusted me, and we did make it. We sold several wedding gifts, and enjoyed that place for three years. Than an angel came and (windfall) gave us a fantastic gift to buy a house. We looked and looked for months everywhere we liked, and
…. what we could afford, we didn’t like, and what we liked, we couldn’t afford. Our first son José Daniel was born June 27, 1973, and at the hospital, my dad who was NOT Jose Daniel’s godfather asked me: What’s up with you finding a place rather than renting - he knew we had that huge gift to buy a house from his mother who NEVER had given a gift to anyone, having 18 grandchildren, but for Cyndy, and maybe me too, she did. It was enough for a house or a very good portion of a larger and better one. I told my father the previous lines and he said where are you looking? In the neighborhoods we liked, convenient for work, near where they were, etc. He said, I have a lot there check it out. Told him that one particularly is way out of our budget; how much do you have for obtaining a lot? Told him the amount, and he said if you want it for that amount is yours. Couldn’t wait to tell Cyndy about it, hoping she would like it. She was still under sedation of the birth. I did not push the THIS IS IT bottom. On the way home from the hospital, we stopped at the place, Cyndy (in my opinion) was delighted. Some six months after we started the construction and lived there like in a dream, walking in the clouds. The design of it went beautiful, and the construction to an extent also. The bumps in the road, as we did push the envelope, made it very nice, but more expensive, and harder to finish. We were disenchanted with the builder, and had to finish it as if we were the construction company dealing with subs, etc. The help from the architect that designed the house Willy, was invaluable, he also had married an American girl about the same time. We moved into the house with a push, on a prayer - no services (water, gas, electricity - they were temporary) but we got in, and I believe we had a blast living in that place. As a matter of fact for seven years I though that was THE DREAM house, and we were just shy of paradise. The situation was adverse very adverse, at the beginning but Cyndy trusted (me) that we could make it. The help financially of her parents, and grand parents was invaluable. They also trusted us, perhaps just Cyndy, (maybe me too), and they were paid back with interest, and it all went wonderful for 7 years. At the second or third year of living there, my dad passed away - he was my mentor, plenty of good example and tough judge. He also was my boss at work. Shortly before he died. He trusted me to go (send me) and manage a company that had been abused (robbed, by the manager) and had very difficult time with keeping up with production, and dealing with the
What characteristics of Cyndy do you see that you love of her, and that attracts you to her. P a s t &/or P r e s e n t union. My cosy job of being the general buyer for the family business changed; it was nice to negotiate for large purchases and still come out better than the year before, a lot of satisfaction - though a bit frustrating that I was saving the company a lot of money, not only on the negotiating, getting the materials on time - a tough situation when production of a 4,500 people team depend on making materials available when and where needed - raw materials, as well as maintenance and services along. Thanx to good hands around me and very professional suppliers, I had a chance in designing better packaging. So I said to my boss (dad): last year year we bought 20 trucks at $10 grand each, every body complains that the prices have gone up and I got them for less than last years price, we also had cars for the salesmen and they were acquired for less than the year before, and also saved the company a bundle on the card board boxes by the new “high” designs, the glass mill does not skip our jars in the production queue because boxes are not there ready for the glass coming out of the ovens, and labels for the products, a mere less than 1% of the value of the product, are on the plant on time avoiding bottle necks in the production lines. Please, I would like to remind you that my salary has not been revised in more than a year, and we have a second child on the way, perhaps a portion of those savings could be…. he said, that is why we pay you, that is why you have a job. All through these events we were paying for the “move into the new house”, a push, as I mentioned, to say the least. And Cyndy trusted that we would come out fine, and unless otherwise stated somewhere, we did. The move to the States. With all the pressures of living the comfort of the “family business” and after my dad passing away I was being practically in charge of my mother’s estate, except for what the uncle was “miss handling” and some jealous siblings were wanting to do. She was being abused by my uncle’s ideas on how to run the business. Half of which was owned by my father, and at his death ALL his belongings went to her. If I wanted to remain “within the budget” I could have stayed there and just look away, and raise my shoulders with the typical “what can I do?” Dignity, or principles of such prevailed for us, and off to the US. It is said here lightly, we could have stayed in Mexico, somewhere - but JOINTLY we decided the U.S., and JOINTLY decided to search where we would live. Trust in God’s help was at the forefront. Our parish priest who was very concern about my mother’s “well being” as she was a good (contributing) member of the parish, and ours too of course, once he understood the vision of what we were doing, agreed with the following quote: I guess Our Lord also speaks english, and allows the sun to shine there as well. We preferred the coast - and more could be said about this, but the concept is/was that we worked together, and it
was a risk, and jointly we decided where - After traveling on motor homes for 2 weeks in the west coast from San Francisco to Seattle, and nearly 4 weeks in the east coast from Jacksonville to Norfolk. Charleston was our choice*. The story of being in Sullivan’s Island came after our decision of staying here. God’s hand was all over it, and Our Lady of Guadalupe’s too. Even though the situation got incredibly difficult, Mexico nationalized the banking system, and our savings went to less than 5% of what they were only weeks before when we had left Mexico, July ’82. Our prayers and trust in God’s help, resolved the move in more than a dream’s way. Cyndy trusted in God and perhaps in that WE were going to make it, and with God’s blessing it worked. The children had 5 years of living in Sullivan’s Is. Three of them front beach, and two years one block from the beach - I wonder if living on the beach is the most important thing in the world or one of them - a lot of people seem to think that, but it was a nice transition to our future. We had a “winter lease”, thus had to leave Sullivan’s and “do” something somewhere, from June 1, till September. One year we went to the mountains in NC, and even drove to Mexico from there to see family and friends. The following summer we went to Washington DC, and Vermont, and Canada a month in each place. The third summer we went to Biloxi - due to financial complications. The house in Mexico was not rented for a little bit and we adjusted, by spending the summer in Cyndy’s parents place on Biloxi (their 2nd home) rent free. Great help from them, we managed. We cashed everything we could, got really hammered on some items, but survived it. We moved to Snee Farm. Our landlord in Sullivan’s Island sold the house, and even though he was accommodating, the realtor involved in the sale transaction, made our lives a little bit difficult. We shook that situation by help of family (from Mexico), and we bought a house in Snee Farm. Eventually the house in Mexico was sold, and things moved right along, adjusting our debt in Mexico. Cyndy was very supportive and trusted that what I was doing (maybe both of us were doing) was worthwhile, in the short scope and in the latus sensu; she even learned to do the newsletter that contained the trade leads obtained from online sources for international trade, and got that info down to the originals for printing, and even past that, the final step mailing/ distribution to our subscribers. We worked together and I could trust her that things were going to get done, we dealt with home issues including teen agers, and other standard operating issues such as cooking, dishes, etc. together. I admit laundry is not my forte, though I can fold what comes out of there. Still I can do other things like put up the dishes and what precedes that. Have managed to make my bed and a few other things. She still has never had to wash a car, or resolve an IP address in computerese.
What characteristics of Cyndy do you see that you love of her, and that attracts you to her. P a s t &/or P r e s e n t Though we were audited by the IRS once (1996), they found nothing in discrepancy to my style of accounting and fulfilling the IRS laws - owing them nothing. Though I am not an immigration attorney, when time came to become a US citizen, the authorities after verifying every document requested, including the tax returns up to 2008 that I had prepared, and answering every question asked; they decided that it was OK to grant me US citizenship. I believe some attorneys make a living by doing this. There are a few other chores, but the essence of these lines is that I am NOT an expert, but I study and get to the bottom of things. I apply my self to it, no excuses, learn the expertise and get things done. I never cut grass when I was growing up, but in the last 18 years I have not paid anyone to do so; I don’t particularly regret that the children, nor Cyndy, not once have done it, nor this is a complaint about it, but (some) facts need to be clear. What we have here now is a NO TRUST from Cyndy on what I do. Though it was known to us that this incredible place, where we have lived for 19 years now, would not be forever for many reasons, mainly that we are not eternal, and that we cannot take it with us; that we would use to the best of our abilities while still pursuing a way to preserve it, always trying to avoid being ostentatious, and to share it when ever we saw proper and fit. For as long as I can remember every time I had the opportunity to have someone listen to my part of the story about it, I would say the following: Remember what we were told when growing up that if we pray always, every day, God will take care of our every need well, it works! Further I would say, if appropriate, you can feel lucky if you are healthy, you can feel very lucky if you have a family that loves you, and can work, think and produce, and also healthy, and if in addition you get to live in a place like this, than this is not a matter of good luck or nice fortune. IT’S A BLESSING, and we should call it like it is. I am very pleased that still many of the local-yocalls when they come to the house for the first time we hear them say, I didn’t know that this was back here. We also knew from the very beginning that we were transitory in this place and should strive to make it self sustaining - perhaps the only way, for the Hernandez longer permanence in it. To this day there has not been a way. And if it has been shown as a glimpse to us, we seem to be purposely ignoring it. So the alternative is to: dispose of it, transfer it to someone, or some institution, that would perhaps respect it and cherish it as we have done, or better. This means that: we MUST LET GO of this place Slowing the process, piece milling it, chopping it, should be the NEXT owners concern, not ours, not mine. For me it will be better to keep the memories, like the ones before, nice experiences while they lasted. Why turning this into an agony, bleeding our resources and other people’s
dear to us to sustain a … someone else’s dream, a nightmare to us. I don’t want to be anchored, even if with a golden or silver chain, to carry this place for someone’s megadreams, much less to do so for the business aurea of some real estate advisors. Time has come to grow out of it, “downsize” our selves into the future. It is pointless for two persons to live in a 6,500’ place by the water when one of us - having boats of every kind, paddle, row, sail, power - has never even jumped once on a boat on her own to go anywhere. Waiting for grandchildren to enjoy this is as watching egg corns grow to have the shade of a tree; only one of our three children is married and very likely would love for us to visit them at the West Coast where they are making their life, and if they have children, watch them grow in their environment. For us to be and do, there are many nice places around the world, things to learn, people to meet, concepts to serve. Before closing this chapter of Trust, it would be good to reiterate that my believes are to stay in Charleston as long as Thais (Cyndy’s mom) lives here. I believe we owe our ancestry that. I think Thais relation to her daughter is fine, perhaps misunderstood and overwhelmed by each other at some points, nevertheless both can and should endure it. There is no divorcing in that relationship, nor would I endorse forsaking each other. Don’t want to go into elaborating that the lack of trust pervades Cyndy’s views. She needs reassurance on everything that surrounds her towards me. It does not come easy. There is trust if you want to see it. The long run almost 40 years has proven straight lines, with directions and goals met; there is more in front of us, God only knows how much. My commitment at the beginning of our marriage was one that has brought me (us) here, with God’s Grace of course. With due diligence we’ll try to continue on the same path in spite of adverse influences. Changes may come too late, opportunities may not be taken advantage of, we’ll also be judged by what we have failed to do. But if we try at least, we can rest assured that we did not waste God’s Trust/blessings to us. HE will be our judge; I pray for His mercy on us.