Alpha Parenting Teenagers Course

Compiled by: Esther Soon

In the middle of September this year, the Family Ministry conducted "The Parenting Teenagers Course" via Zoom. Approximately 22 parents attended this course. This course was designed by Nicky and Sila (co-worker of HTB, London, UK) and it is meant for parents who have children between the ages of 11-18 years old. The course is divided into five lessons, and is conducted via pre-recorded videos whereby the speakers, Nicky and Sila share with us effective ways of parenting teenagers.

The course emphasizes that the ultimate aim of parenting is to groom our teenagers towards maturity and independence. Parents should mold their characters, and help them cultivate good values. It's necessary for parents to satisfy the teenagers' need for love by using their love language. Parents also need to learn the art of listening as well as helping the children in expressing their anger in a healthy way. The course also talks about the importance of setting boundaries. Parents have to stand firm with important boundaries, but in other areas, there should be as few rules as possible. Furthermore, parents must be willing to negotiate and compromise with their children. Finally, the course also reminds the parents that parents are the most influential people in their children’s lives. Therefore, it's very important for parents to pass on information and good values to their children so as to enable them to make wise decisions whenever they face critical issues in their lives.

There is a discussion time during each lesson for all participants to share among themselves the challenges and experiences in parenting.

Parenting is an important task entrusted by God to parents. The "Parenting Teenagers Course" will equip the parents, and help the parents lay a strong foundation for their children's lives.

Sharing by the Participants

Annie Chiang

After attending this course, I have learned to be more empathy towards the struggles faced by the teenagers. I have also learned how to avoid conflict as much as possible, setting boundaries for teenagers and helping them in making good choices.

Joseph Chan

The course is interesting and practical. The discussions among the parents helped us to delve deeper on the practical aspects of each lesson. I would recommend this course to parents who have teenage children. Besides that, I have also learned that we can let our "home" be a place for fun as well as a place for releasing our emotions.

Michael Ngu

The course has two parts. The first part consists of a video by the parenting expert, giving us explanation and analysis. The second part is sharing and discussion among the group members. These two parts have helped me to understand the course contents better.

Throughout the course, I have learned some practical parenting skills. For instance, educate the child with correct information at an appropriate time. With a purpose of having better parents-child relationships, parents can create some family atmosphere or even do some crazy stuff with the children. At the same time, parents should maintain 4

good communication with children. Besides that, parents should refrain from giving criticism. On the other hand, parents ought to give more affection. The teenagers are going through brain development, and parents should patiently help them to journey through this period. The nature of children is not bad and they are not rebellious. Parents must have persistence and should always pray for more strength from God.

Dorcas Ng

Whenever my child acts coldly towards me, I don't have to overreact. Even though his changes may be unpredictable, I can still view it positively. I believe that his weird behaviour will not be forever, and he will become mature gradually. I have also learned to handle my worries and anger.

I learn to put down my own prejudices, appreciate more on the good aspect of my child. To make my home a place for fun by carrying out activities that will improve our relationship.

When I am worried, I will calm down first before I communicate with my child. I don't have to be a perfect parent, only be a good parent.

If there's a chance, I will recommend this course to other parents. In the video, they also interviewed kids, teachers, principal, counsellors, and physiologists which I think it's very good. It helps us to view parenting from different perspectives.

Carmen Lee

The sharing from the speakers and members is a helpful guide to me. It prepares me to face the problems or emotional changes faced by a teenager. I will try to use the methods that I have learned to grow with my kids.

Esther Soon

People always say that once a child enters adolescence, he or she will form his or her own opinions and will no longer listen to their parents. Most of the people would describe them as rebellious. When my son turned 11 years old, I discovered that his behavior was changing slowly. Just like other teenagers, he would not follow everything I said and sometimes like to go against my word. I was facing tremendous pressure as I didn't know how to communicate with him. I realised that I couldn't use the method in the past any longer. I need to change the way I teach him. Otherwise, our relationship would definitely become worse.

After this course, I realised that adolescents are affected by their changing hormones. They are not mature simply because their brains have not fully developed. They are going through a transition period, and they need understanding and acceptance from the parents. Realising it, I don't have to fight with him in all matters. Sometimes, he doesn't mean to rebel, it's just that he is not mature enough to understand our feelings.

I am the type of mother who likes to have control over my children. The course teaches me to let them go gradually and to move from being a controller to consultant. As parents, we can always provide our opinions, but the decision maker should be the children themselves. Sometimes, I would get furious over the negative emotions of my children. As a parent, I need to control my own emotions, and listen patiently to my children, so that they will be willing to share their negative emotions with me.

Alpha Marriage and Parenting Course Series

1. Alpha Marriage Course

To help any married couple strengthen their relationship.

2. Alpha Marriage Preparation Course

To help any couple develop a strong foundation for a lasting marriage.

3. Alpha Parenting Children Course

To help parents and carers of 0 to 10-year- olds, and parents-to-be, equip their children for life.

4. Alpha Parenting Teenagers Course

To help parents and carers of 11 to 18-year- olds, and parents-to-be, equip their teenagers for life.

Follow Permai CMC Family Ministry Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/PCMCFM) or speak to sis. Esther Soon for more information on the course series.