ROYAL FLUSH An Opera in One Act
Music and Libretto by Frank Pesci
FINAL Draft: Köln, Germany; 27 April, 2018
Libretto © copyright 2018 by Frank Pesci THIS DOCUMENT IS FOR INTERNAL PRODUCTION USE ONLY AND MAY NOT BE SHARED
CHARACTERS
THE PLAYERS – four sisters, either by blood or common experience ROSIE (Coloratura Soprano) Her “tell” is prolific vulgarity. CEE-CEE – (Soubrette) Her “tell” is incessant giggling. FRANKIE – (Lyric Soprano) Her “tell” is overbearing self-confidence. ANNIE – (Lyric Mezzo-Soprano) Strong willed, patient, measured. Her “tell” is aggressive outbursts. THE DEALER – their mother DEE-DEE – THE DEALER (Lyric or Dramatic Mezzo-Soprano) Has a perfect poker face. Knows everyone’s “tells.”
The action takes place in the present time, in a parlor, family room, or living room of a modest home.
PERFORMANCE NOTE: This work contains mature language. “Clean” options are included in the score for use at the discretion of the performing entity.
Lights up on a parlor, family room, or living room in a modest home. A table takes up most of the space in the center of the room, and a piano is in the corner. At the center of the table (center stage) sits DEE-DEE; to her right sit ROSIE and CEE-CEE, to her left, FRANKIE and ANNIE. Around the room are various pieces of furniture, including a makeshift bar on which are a few bottles of wine and empty glasses. On this makeshift bar leans the PIANIST, who is looking on while a hand of poker comes to its conclusion. FRANKIE with a grand, triumphant gesture Read 'em and weep, suckers! HA HAAA!!! Gimme all your money! DEE-DEE, having folded long before the showdown, watches calmly as ROSIE lets out a string of obsceneties, CEE-CEE tries to laugh off the loss, and ANNIE seeths at having been fooled once again. FRANKIE rubbing it in: When, oh WHEN, Dear Lord, will they ever learn! Girls, when "The Frankie Show" is playin', you ain't watchin' nothin' else! Cee-Cee, you had to have been joking with that awful... DEE-DEE calling to the PIANIST, and interrupting FRANKIE, to the relief of the OTHERS: Honey, play something nice, would you? PIANIST nods, crosses to the piano, and begins to play. DEE-DEE collects the cards, arranging them into a deck. FRANKIE rakes in her winnings. ANNIE avoids eye contact, focusing on the pile of chips in front of her. ROSIE fumbles with her cell phone, and CEE-CEE snatches it from her, calmly shaking her head as ROSIE protests. FRANKIE holding up an empty wine glass Who wants a fresh one? FRANKIE rises and crosses to the bar. The others talk over each other. ANNIE Why not? ROSIE I do! ANNIE not looking up Why even ask? DEE-DEE No thanks, dear. FRANKIE Lord, we’re gonna need a new bottle! CEE-CEE trying to get anyone’s attention Oh, what a fun time tonight!
ROSIE holding up her glass Ah! Sweet nectar of life! DEE-DEE Who’s driving? ANNIE irritated What a dumb question. DEE-DEE to ANNIE Take it easy… FRANKIE Where’s the corkscrew? ANNIE to DEE-DEE Am I wrong? CEE-CEE Isn’t it nice…? ROSIE …Nectar of Life! FRANKIE finding the corkscrew Here it is! DEE-DEE to ANNIE Cool it! FRANKIE uncorks a new bottle, pours herself a big glass then moves around the table, topping glasses off. CEE-CEE is startled by an incoming text on ROSIE's phone; ROSIE gasps and lunges for it. Talking over each other: ROSIE Gus! UGH! That son of a bitch! FRANKIE Take it light, Rosie. Wait for what you deserve! CEE-CEE Rosie, Rosie! He isn’t right for you! ANNIE shouting over all of them Can we PLEASE get on with the DAMN GAME?! Anybody care?
All are startled by ANNIE's outburst, but they brush it off, as they've become used to it. DEE-DEE sighs and glances at ANNIE. Talking over each other in response: ROSIE O.K., then… ANNIE Of course… FRANKIE refilling ANNIE’s glass …you’re empty. ALL settle back into their places at the table. CEE-CEE Someone tell a joke. FRANKIE Your last hand was pretty funny. ANNIE and ROSIE giggle. ROSIE excitedly I’ve got a joke! DEE-DEE Is it clean? ROSIE …nevermind. Talking over each other: ROSIE thinking of the joke she was going to tell Hmm… CEE-CEE …no one? FRANKIE to herself …I can’t tell that one, either. DEE-DEE to the table …A clean joke? CEE-CEE Or a story? Does anyone have a funny story?
ANNIE You asked the same thing the last time we played. CEE-CEE Humor me. I could use a giggle. FRANKIE excitedly remembering a story. To ANNIE Remember the time I shoved chalk up your nose? ANNIE That wasn’t me… ROSIE That was me! I think I was FIVE at the time, and you said “Hey! Smell this!” ANNIE to FRANKIE No, I was the one about whom you said – to everyone in High School – that I wet the bed. FRANKIE with calm assurance There’s no proof it was me ANNIE boiling over I KNOW it was you! ROSIE casually It was me. CEE-CEE gasps. FRANKIE to ANNIE, pointing to ROSIE …see? ANNIE to ROSIE, in disbelief That was you? ROSIE I think it was me FRANKIE smug, vindicated Hmm! ANNIE turning both barrels toward ROSIE That followed me to college! ROSIE nonchalant What did I know? I was young.
ANNIE They called me “Diapers”!!! ROSIE feigning concern I was concerned for you – something seemed wrong… DEE-DEE Something is wrong, alright… FRANKIE, ROSIE, and ANNIE begin arguing over each other. CEE-CEE giggles nervously. DEE-DEE LADIES!!! Let’s calm down, please. Talking over each other: ROSIE Breathe. Be Cool. CEE-CEE Breathe in and out. FRANKIE Calm. Deep breath. ANNIE Calm down. Calm down. DEE-DEE Let’s all calm down. Calm down. FRANKIE to ROSIE O.K., remember the time I saved your ass… DEE-DEE What was that? FRANKIE …your hide from that horrible bucktoothed eighth grade bitch? DEE-DEE Try again… CEE-CEE …that poor girl who came from a broken home…
ANNIE …most likely. PLAYERS Poor Girl! Bless her heart! FRANKIE to ROSIE So what did you say to provoke such a reaction? ROSIE I don’t know what you mean. CEE-CEE to ROSIE I think you do… ANNIE to ROSIE Why did you have to be saved in the first place? ROSIE It was nothing! FRANKIE I almost lost a tooth in that fight! ANNIE And that wasn’t the end of it with that horse faced SKANK! DEE-DEE Ladies! ROSIE Alright! That little wench DESERVED IT! FRANKIE What did you say to provoke her? CEE-CEE and ANNIE WHAT DID YOU SAY! ROSIE I asked her if she knew WHAT SOAP WAS! beat DEE-DEE sighs audibly in embarrassment and shame. THE PLAYERS cackle with laughter Talking over each other:
ROSIE It’s all true! CEE-CEE Amazing! FRANKIE Ah! Mystery solved! ANNIE How charming. DEE-DEE That explains it. ROSIE I’m proud of how I handled myself! CEE-CEE Of course! FRANKIE to ROSIE You should be! ANNIE You’re still the same. DEE-DEE to ROSIE You always had a way with words… To CEE-CEE Did that so the trick? CEE-CEE to DEE-DEE It surely did. ROSIE to FRANKIE And thanks, by the way. FRANKIE to ROSIE My pleasure! beat DEE-DEE to THE PLAYERS Good Dad stories? They all pause to think about him. Talking over each other:
ROSIE Dad stories…just one? FRANKIE There are so many. Oh, dad… ANNIE A tough one. Let’s think… CEE-CEE Good dad stories… My favorite: CEE-CEE, ROSIE, & ANNIE Baseball… CEE-CEE & FRANKIE He would take us to all the minor league games… ANNIE & DEE-DEE Hot summer nights… ALL …and fireworks after every game… FRANKIE, ANNIE, & ROSIE …win or lose. DEE-DEE My first opera. I was in love with it all! It was so grand and beautiful. Then some old fool mercilessly booed the lead… SHE nods as they all realize who it was He shrugged and said, In “His” voice: “Sometimes they’re just not so good. The PLAYERS whisper reactions under their breath, then retreat into their memories of him. ROSIE Tossing a football. CEE-CEE At my wedding, crying like a baby.
DEE-DEE, ANNIE, & FRANKIE His temper. ROSIE & ANNIE His pride. DEE-DEE His tenderness. ANNIE, FRANKIE, & CEE-CEE Affection. ALL His jokes. His terrible jokes – how awful! His laugh. CEE-CEE We never had much… ROSIE, FRANKIE, & ANNIE We had love. DEE-DEE …but we never wanted much. CEE-CEE He was always saying to us… ALL Ladies! Be kind to each other. They all take a moment for one more private thought, the turn their attention back to the game. Talking over each other: ROSIE Let’s do this! CEE-CEE Thanks for that, ladies. FRANKIE O.K. ANNIE Can we, please?
DEE-DEE That last one was most important… Shuffling the cards O.K., ladies. Let’s get down to it, shall we? Five Card Stud. Twos are wild, as is the Suicide King. Ante up, ladies! Slyly, they all try to size each other up. Talking over each other: PLAYERS Poker face… Ante up… Play to win… Here we go! Starting to HER left and moving around the table, DEE-DEE deal one card, face down, to each player, ending with herself. ROSIE to CEE-CEE Two cards and out again, CEE-CEE? CEE-CEE I’m picking my moments. FRANKIE to ROSIE Another ill-advised bluff? You’re running out of chips. ROSIE staying calm I know how many fucking chips I have. ANNIE to ROSIE Had…how many chips you had. Most of yours are in front of me now. ROSIE I think you’ve had too many chips… CEE-CEE & FRANKIE giggle; DEE-DEE sighs. DEE-DEE deals an additional card, face up, to each PLAYER, calling them as SHE deals. DEE-DEE to ROSIE Four of hearts… to CEE-CEE Jack spades… to ANNIE Wild two… to FRANKIE There’s the first ace… to HERSELF Ten of hearts to the dealer.
The ace bets first. ROSIE curses under her breath. FRANKIE bets, and everyone except ROSIE calls. ROSIE sweet as pie What in the fuck is this fucking pile of shit? What the fuck is this fucking awful hand? And how do I possibly play this total un-fucking-believable hand, this hand that I’ve been dealt? Am I mistaken, or doesn’t this look like a fucking mess that could have been caused by my love, by my darling Giuseppe? That son of a bitch. That little prick still lives with his mother. Cheap bastard! He said he was a king! He said he was an Ace! But that man is a joker! That bastard is a fucking joker! And he’s not even wild! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fucking bullshit! Fuck! She pick up her facedown card, and gazes at it lustily. Well, look at you. Aren’t you so handsome! I could lead with you; you have so much potential! But you wont up the ante, and you’ll probably never call me back! Oh fuck! How do I keep ending up with these fucking men?! Cards…these fucking CARDS is what I meant! Realizing that everyone is staring at her, SHE throws chips into the pile. I’ll…uh…call DEE-DEE …moving right along. The PLAYERS gets back to contemplating their hand. DEE-DEE surveys the table before dealing the next round, face up. to ROSIE no help… to CEE-CEE possible flush… to ANNIE that makes a pair… to FRANKIE no help there…
to HERSELF Queen hearts to the dealer The pair leads… ANNIE bets ten, ALL call. FRANKIE to ANNIE Ten is bold, considering your skill. ANNIE to FRANKIE Bolder still to call, with what you’re showing. FRANKIE I’ve got plenty… ROSIE That’s for sure! CEE-CEE tries to stifle a giggle. FRANKIE to CEE-CEE What was that, sweetie? Whose got the biggest pile? CEE-CEE to FRANKIE Yes! The biggest pile! CEE-CEE loses control as HER giggle become full on laughter. CEE-CEE begins to giggle. Oh, here we are again, at this same table, playing cards. Isn’t it nice that we’re all here together? I don’t think that we could find one thing that we admire in each other. You all think you’re so witty, and clever, and insightful! But never so much that you notice a thing about me. The PLAYERS fade off into their own hands as CEE-CEE retreats within herself. The PLAYERS fail to notice the change in HER, except DEE-DEE who watches her with compassion. Do they remember the last time we played? Did they notice that I hadn’t a word to say? Did they notice that night that my ring was gone? Do they notice that it’s still gone, that she’s gone, that I’m alone? Not a call or a word of concern I can’t tell them, they wouldn’t understand. SHE takes a deep breath, then turns outward again, her brave, laughing face back on. Ah ha ha! Oh! Isn’t it nice that we’re all here together?
Ah! Ha haha ! DEE-DEE to the PLAYERS Well ladies? Isn’t it nice? Like she said? ROSIE, FRANKIE, & ANNIE shrug and nod in halfhearted agreement. DEE-DEE I think so too! Everybody still in? SHE deals the next round, face up. to ROSIE possible weak straight… to CEE-CEE no help… to ANNIE no help… to FRANKIE no help… Ace of hearts to the dealer. The pair leads again ANNIE checks, FRANKIE checks, DEE-DEE bets, ALL call. ANNIE High rollers tonight! ROSIE to ANNIE Why are you still playing? Your tell is so obvious! CEE-CEE to ROSIE And yours isn’t? FRANKIE Oh, you fools! I had you all pegged two hands ago! ANNIE Oh, sure… CEE-CEE giggles ROSIE My ass! I’m blank fucking slate! Talking over each other:
ANNIE You’re all unbelievable… CEE-CEE No doubt! FRANKIE I was gonna say… DEE-DEE Indeed! FRANKIE to ROSIE See…? ROSIE See what…? FRANKIE Frankie! It’s The Frankie Show, it’s FRANKIE!!!! Oh, hi there. Did I get your attention? Good. Well, while I have it… The Frankie Show never ends! Step into the bright lights. Open up and shine! Let me show you how it’s done. Make your moment last. Feel it all come into focus, and burst forth to receive your adoration! Well, that’s how I do it. See – it’s easy to be me, and you can do just the same! Command the center of attention, as long as I’m not already there, raising my arms to the cheap seats, breathing in the adulation. It’s everything I deserve! And why not? Petty jealously is a child’s game that I’ve already won! Ah! Hear them calling my name, howling for another encore!
THANK YOU! Thank you! Whispers …thank you! ANNIE blows a raspberry. They are ALL well versed in FRANKIE’s routine. Talking over each other, to FRANKIE: ROSIE Well, thanks for the show, You need new material… ANNIE I’ve seen it before, And I want a refund… CEE-CEE So have I! DEE-DEE Last card, ladies. Talking over each other: FRANKIE I’m going to enjoy this showdown. ROSIE I’ve heard that one before, too. ANNIE to FRANKIE You enjoy losing? CEE-CEE giggles DEE-DEE Everybody ready? DEE-DEE deals each a card, face up, calling them as she deals to ROSIE no help… to CEE-CEE no help… to ANNIE still has a pair… to FRANKIE and no help… Two diamonds to the dealer. The pair leads again ANNIE bets fifteen; ROSIE scoffs
ANNIE to ROSIE Drop out! You’ve got nothing! FRANKIE & DEE-DEE call ROSIE to ANNIE Your pair ain’t worth shit! Throwing chips Here’s your fifteen, and another fifteen! CEE-CEE giggles nervously and calls ANNIE to CEE-CEE Weak. I’d expect a weak bluff from you most of all. DEE-DEE Come on now, Annie… ANNIE throwing chips I see your fifteen and raise you another. To the whole table Whatcha gonna do, now? FRANKIE betting Call. I don’t believe you… DEE-DEE betting Call. This is fun! ANNIE to ROSIE Well, Rosie, the call’s to you. ROSIE betting Here’s your fifteen… Throwing one more chip And here’s one fuckin’ more, Diapers, ‘cause you’re BLUFFING! ROSIE, CEE-CEE, & FRANKIE burst into riotous laughter. ANNIE bubbles with rage. DEEDEE tries to keep ANNIE from boiling over, but fails as ANNIE slams her fist on the table, which cuts off the laughter abruptly. There’s a tense moment. DEE-DEE to ANNIE Don’t do anything rash, honey… ANNIE radiating fury I’m all IN, you BITCHES! And you fools don’t have a single card to your names!
It would be so fun to watch you throw all of your money away. Better still to rake your chips into my pile. As long as you lose, and then I watch you admit that I am better than all of you, and not just at this silly game of cards! Why don’t we end this charade? Why are we even still playing? What is the point of these nights? The taunting and the meanness! The nasty little inside jokes And the arrogance, the self-centered arrogance! Do you know anything about anyone at this table? And not just the stupid stories, the pranks and the childish nicknames that aren’t funny, they’re just mean. Do you really know anyone… …anyone at this table? Well, I’ve had enough. I’m all in, and when I clean you all out, I will take all my chips and go home. There’s an awkward pause. ROSIE under her breath I think you’ve had too many chips. ANNIE glares at ROSIE and builds up another blast. Talking over each other: ROSIE Oh boy, here it comes! CEE-CEE It was a joke! Fun! We’re having fun! FRANKIE to ANNIE Did you hear what she said to you…? DEE-DEE Annie… ANNIE to ROSIE YOU UNBELIEVABLE, HORRIBLE, FFF… DEE-DEE LADIES!! The commotion stops and the PLAYERS all look at DEE-DEE.
DEE-DEE There’s a bet on the table. Annie’s all in. What’s your decision They all call. ANNIE flipping her facedown card HA! Well, there’s another queen, which makes three. FRANKIE I only see two… ANNIE pointing to a card This card is wild, remember? CEE-CEE flipping her facedown …beats my pair… FRANKIE reluctantly ...and mine… They all look at ROSIE, who dramatically flips her facedown card… ROSIE I’ve got nothing! ANNIE I WIN! SHE reaches for the pile on the table. DEE-DEE clears her throat. All look to her, startled. DEE-DEE calmly taking stock of her face-up hand Well, showing is.. the Ten of hearts, my Wild two is a Jack, the Queen of hearts, the Ace of hearts… There’s a moment of tense surprise as all the players look at DEE-DEE’ fifth card, which is still facedown in front of her. She flips it and shows them… DEE-DEE …the Suicide King, which is wild, but I think I’ll leave it as it is. A Royal Flush! The PLAYERS sink sheepishly, dumbstruck.
DEE-DEE Ladies, would you please learn your tells? They’re always visible. And you know to whom they’re visible? To the ones who stay, to the ones who don’t, to each other. Don’t forget - I’ve known them since the day each of you were born. to FRANKIE Remember the time you shoved chalk up your sister’s nose? So do I! Now, I wasn’t there, but I know, I know it was you! That look on your face, so calm and collected was the same when you made the misguided decision, such a predictable decision, to bluff! to ROSIE And you were the one who said about your sister, to everyone in high school, that she wet the bed! And there’s no denying it was you, my dear. Your prolific vulgarity gives you away, and this hand was no exception! to ANNIE Just as obvious is your tell. No one will get the best of you. And you lash out to push them away! to CEE-CEE Then there’s you. Giggling. That’s the mask you wear over everything. to ALL But you know this. So, be kind to each other. Because you’re never alone. Pick up your chips; keep playing if you want. I’m going to bed. Don’t stay up too late. PLAYERS Goodnight, Mom. DEE-DEE blows them a kiss and exits. CEE-CEE You all suck at poker. Talking over each other: ROSIE: What? Give credit, please....
CEE-CEE: It's true, you're all terrible poker players. FRANKIE: Oh, that's a lovely thing to say ANNIE has her first good laugh of the night. FRANKIE cutting everyone off ALL RIGHT!!!! ENOUGH! New Game: Two-Card Gut, Drop. Two-Three Rule is in effect. beat ROSIE Uh... CEE-CEE What does that mean? beat ANNIE OK! Let's...take a break. FRANKIE Holding up her wine glass Who wants a fresh one? PIANIST I DO! The PLAYERS, startled, cackle as FRANKIE leaps to her feet to get the PIANIST a drink. ANNIE to CEE-CEE, taking her hand She wasn’t right for you. CEE-CEE takes a deep breath and nods shakily. ROSIE reaches out for her other hand. ANNIE to ROSIE Now, what are we going about Gus? FRANKIE returns to the table and starts filling glasses. CEE-CEE collects the cards and begins to shuffle. Talking over each other: ANNIE I’m gonna run this game, too. FRANKIE to ANNIE Lord, could you give it a rest?
CEE-CEE to ANNIE Oh, what a joke! ROSIE to her wine glass Ah! Sweet nectar of life! ANNIE Now I know all your tells. I’ll own you! CEE-CEE to ANNIE We know yours, too! ROSIE & CEE-CEE laugh together. ALL Here we go! FRANKIE starts to deal. One of them starts laughing, then they all start laughing.
END OF THE OPERA