Pattaya Grapevine Issue 2 February 2009

Pattaya

FR

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Grapevine Issue 02 - february 2009

A visit to Hanoi

where East meets West

An unlikely

star

Take

a tour

on the

magic bus Competition

A Fool in PARADISE

TOP 10

Thai DISHES

2 Tickets WIN to see ROD STEWART LIVE in Concert

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Underwater World Pattaya

contents Pattaya

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06. Where Are They Now - Adam Ant 10. World War II Monopoly 14. An Unlikely Star

20. Places to go - Things to do - People to see 22. A Visit to Hanoi 26. Underwater World Pattaya 30. Treasure Hill 32. Nightmarch 34. Take a Tour on the Magic Bus 36. The Magical Mystery Tour

10 World War II

Monopoly 54

of Dr Penguin Part 2 . Thai Lite . On the Lighter Side . A Fool in Paradise . Pavement Picasso . Top Ten - Thai Dishes . Rod Stewart Competition

40 42 44 50

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From the Editors’

I

Desk

would like to start my February ‘From the Editor’s Desk’, by thanking all the people who have contacted me over the last month, be it by telephone, email or in the street, to pass on their congratulations on our first issue. The general concensus seems to be that we are on the right wave length but need more pages, so I am pleased to tell you that we have gone from 52 pages last month to 60 in February. We have also been asked if we could make the ‘Pattaya Grapevine’ available on subscription and as our aim is to please, anyone interested will find a subscription form later in the magazine.

It is always difficult to start a new venture, and of course, it has been made that much harder in recent months with the collapse of the world economy and the problems that have faced Thailand and Pattaya on the home front, so I would like to take this opportunity of thanking all our advertisers for having faith in this new venture and believing that it will become a success.

Please remember to let advertisers know you saw their adverts in ‘Pattaya Grapevine’ so they will see what a great vehicle we are for getting their message across.

I would also like to invite any of our readers who feel they may like to contribute to the magazine to please contact me, I would be delighted to hear from you, likewise, if you can think of any stories or articles you would like to see within our pages, whether on a regular basis, or only a one off we would greatly appreciate your input. It’s not always easy trying to find topics for our writers each month.

Also a big thank you goes out to our writer’s who spend many hours each month at their keyboards, keep up the good work, and to the business owners and private people who take time out of their busy lives to spend with our reporters to bring you the most interesting stories and articles.

Well, I think I have thanked everybody now, or have I? No, I have left out the most important ingredient to making ‘Pattaya Grapevine’ a succes, you the reader, I do hope you enjoy this our second edition, support the advertisers and enjoy reading our efforts as much

as we have enjoyed creating them for you, a big thank you.

This month our competition, as you may have gathered from the front cover, is two tickets to see Rod Stewart in Concert in Bangkok on the 4th March.We had such a fantastic response last month from readers telephoning the office and sending their answers by email for our Simply Red Competition, that when we heard that Rod was due in town we could not resist the temptation of offering tickets to see him perform. Having only seen him on the television in the past, I bought extra tickets and will be going along to Bangkok to see him with my wife and another couple. So check out the question at the end of the Rod Stewart article and good luck if you decide to enter, much better odds than winning the lottery?

We have not got as many jokes this month as I would have liked, I really think it helps to read a publication that puts a smile on your face, we had too many interesting articles to bring you, but hopefully next month,we shall be able to increase the number of pages again and find room for those lighter moments in life.

Well that’s it for another month, I hope you enjoy the rest of the magazine and I look forward to meeting you again in the months to come, not only in these columns, but in the streets as well.

Peter Read Telephone: 0806 442 511, peteread@teleline.es

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where are they now? - 1.

a da m

a nt

Adam Ant, New Romantic Icon of the ‘80s, variously dubbed ‘The Randy Highwayman’, ‘Prince Charming’ and the ‘Dandy Pirate’, after a career spanning 31 years, received one of the most prestigious pop media awards at The 19th Q Magazine Awards held at Grosvenor House Hotel, Park Lane, London on October 6, 2008.

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As his official website, adam-ant. net puts it - ‘Adam was thrilled and surprised to be given the Q magazine Icon Award today at a ceremony in London. Receiving the statue from the Sugababes, he said how flattering it was to get an award that last year had gone to Paul McCartney, and that it was an honour to be chosen for the work that he’d done in the past.’

It all started in an emergency ward of a hospital in North London, apparently, where an overdose victim was shaken into consciousness by a hard-faced charge nurse saying “Wake up, you little bastard.” He recollects “As I sat up, groggy and lost, I saw the name Stuart Goddard written in chalk on a board next to a door. But I had killed Stuart Goddard.” From thenceforth, he was to be Adam Ant, who for three glittering years was the biggest name in British pop, influencing such individuals as Prince and Michael Jackson and wowing thousands of women, most significantly Amanda Donohue, Jamie Lee Curtis, Carole Caplin and Liza Minnelli.

His first passion, however, was painting and, in 1973, he went to Hornsey Art College in North London, where he met Carol ‘the cutest blonde at college’, whom he later married. But, like most of his relationships, it wasn’t to last. Significantly, Adam says ‘In November 1975, I saw The Sex Pistols play their first gig at St Pattaya

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Martin’s Art School. They were the support act for my band - Bazooka Joe - and their rawness and energy, which made our performance look hopelessly out-of-date, had a hair-raising effect on me. From then on, I wanted to be something different and be someone else.’

Then came his attempted suicide, due to the manicdepression, or bi-polar disorder, that has plagued his life. He recalls when he was four he suffered frightful hallucinations “Sitting wide awake in the early hours, I’d be in the middle of a giant aquarium. Perfect, 3-D Technicolor fish would swim around the room.

Sharks, stingrays and Portuguese men-of-war.”

A few weeks after hospital, in 1976, he started a new band, Adam & The Ants – “I chose ants because they are hard-working, tough and communal,” he relates. That was the start of a dazzling, worldwide pop career that would earn him over £10million and 15 Top 20 UK hits, including Stand & Deliver, Goody Two Shoes, and It’s Got To Be A Sin and albums like King of the Wild Frontier, Antmusic and Dirk Wears White Socks.

Describing his first foray into his new genre Adam says “Our music wasn’t outright punk, but it was still raw - and loud. I called it Antmusic. In the first incarnation of my new alter ego, I wore black leather and white Japanese kabuki face paint.” But it was only when he linked up with guitarist, Marco Pirroni, that they devised the sound and look that came to give the band its signature. He recalls “I had taken to reading books on American Indians and African tribes, and adopted an Apache/gipsy-warrior look, with knee bells to make my moves percussive, a kilt and the now legendary white stripe across my nose.”

Their first gig was in May 1977 and he was once more single, staving off depression by remaining busy and “having as much sex as possible,” he confesses.

“Sex was my panacea. I had to have sex with new, different women whenever I could. The sex distracted me, kept me sane.” But then he is a Scorpio, the archetypal sign of sex! Born November 3,1954.

Solid gigging led the band to ever greater heights via such influential venues as the John Peel Radio Show and Top Of The Pops, by which time in July 1980, they’d signed up with the CBS record label.

After three years of hard work, they finally made it into the Top 20 and with the fame “Women were now more available to me than ever before. On tour, I would go down to the hotel lobby to meet girls who had followed us back from a show. Sex was available every few feet,” he recollects. Needless to say, all

this rampant sex had a devastating effect upon all the women, like Amanda Donohue, Jamie Lee Curtis, Carole Caplin and Liza Minnelli that he tried to form relationships with. Nevertheless, their run of success continued, with their third album, Prince Charming in 1981.

However, Adam was beginning to look further afield, to acting. He says “My personal life was still unsettled and, by the mid-Eighties, my pop career was also faltering. Our recent records had not been quite as successful as earlier ones and the critics were lining up to dismiss us. My 1985 album, Vive Le Rock, flopped.” The final crunch came in December of that year when his record company abandoned him. He recalls “At that moment, I knew I was stone cold as a commercial prospect and was floored by a tidal wave of depression. In less than five years I had gone from the height of global fame to the lowest point in my career.”

Shortly after, he was to split with the band and go solo, eventually, after some considerable time, pursuing his acting career to feature in Joe Orton’s play, Funeral Games,1996, and in films such as “Cold Steel”, “Nomads”, “Slam Dance”, “Drop Dead Rock”, “Face Down” and “World Gone Wild”. He also featured in videos and documentaries. There was even a film about the band, “Ant Muzak”, a short comedy film recounting Adam & The Ants’ eventful late-night trip to their local 24-hour supermarket, which won an audience award in Sydney and was screened at the Brisbane International Film Festival and the London ‘Soho Shorts’ film fest.

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He effectively disappeared from the public eye for 10 years, but his tracks were played on media presentations, like Goody Two Shoes in Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” movie, a Slimfast ad, and as remix track on MTV DJ mash songs, Kings of the Wild Frontier, in “Marie-Antoinette”, Stand and Deliver in a Sony Playstation Quiz game and Antmusic in the TV drama “Gilmore Girls”.

Despite Adam’s disappearance from the public stage, he continued to be amazingly influential with Ant fever resulting in millions of teenage girls’ walls being festooned with pictures of Adam and the Ants, a huge following among teenyboppers and spawning a significant number of Ant cover bands and tribute acts like Antflavour, Ligotage, Family of Hindus, Antmuzik, Ants Invasion, Zerox, and Kings of the Wild Frontier, plus Ant remixes by Niall X, Defi, Simon Clarke, Rob Lesman and Carty.

“

The Madness of Prince Charming

Media-wise, Adam made various guest star appearances over the years, including first on an episode of ‘Never Mind the Buzzcocks’, on 31 January, 1997, repeated on 11 September, 2007.

While living in Tennessee, in one of his only known public appearance in ’97, Adam guest DJed on one of LA’s hippest radio stations, KROQ, September 5.

As part of the all 80’s weekend, Adam announced the records, chatted on air and spoke of his new wife, Lorraine, who he’d married in May and baby daughter, Kaitlin. In 1999, Adam played Crachet in the Canadian TV series, “La Femme Nikita”, appeared in the madefor-television, docu-drama, “Sweetwater” and also featured on a show called “Where Are They Now?” In January, 2001, on the BBC TV series “I LOVE THE 80’s”, Adam hosted “I LOVE 1981” and in December the UK’s Channel Four ran “The History of the Pop Video”, where Adam appeared briefly. In the US, Adam was also interviewed in “From the Waist Down” which chronicled pop music’s influence on the Sexual Revolution. Adam made another guest appearance on XFM.co.uk, September 12, 2003, talking about his gorilla project and Adam and Boz recording Save the Gorilla, the recorded remake of Stand and Deliver.

There were also programmes about Adam Ant; in March, 1999, the U.K Channel 4 featured an 80’s

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‘New Romantics’ series, which discussed the most influential 80’s bands and Adam & The Ants came in at Number 2. London Weekend TV also showed an Adam and the Ants special in January, 2001. Channel 4’s July 2003, Adam Ant documentary “The Madness of Prince Charming”; an overwhelming success with over 3.69 million viewers and the Adam Ant documentary, “Stand and Deliver” screened on ITV-London, November, 2006.

Adam’s official on-line fan club, adam-ant.net, was started in March 1996 and continues to organise annual well attended Antfests/conventions, where thousands gather to exchange and buy memorabilia.

Some of which included “Ant Musings”, a humorous look at the lives of Ant fans in England in the 1980s, NME The ‘80s, a 148 page, A-Z of The New Romantics, including Adam and the Ants, and “Whip Avantgarde” Ant fanzine/book ­Adam & the Ants in Italy, 1978.

Two long time Ant fans also featured Adam: Beatriz Monteavaro in her art exhibit in Florida and Felix da Housecat allowed a brief glimpse of Adam in his video.

Adam’s recording career was intermittent, but he did one unofficial session in 2002, recording CF British Indian – P.unk Now. After an eight year absence from recording, Adam did sing vocals on Black Pirates in the 2005 release of “Mike’s Bike” by the Lavendar Pill Mob, a newly formed band of onetime Antman, Kevin Mooney, and Gary Asquith.

Then there was “Persuasion’, never officially released, and Digital Tenderness Ant DVD, March, 2006. But numerous remasterings and digital productions were produced over the years, including Dirk Wears White Sox, Kings of the Wild Frontier, Prince Charming, Antbox, Essential and the Best of Adam Ant. Despite persistent rumours that the Ants were to reform and tour in 2002, it never happened. Adam and Marco had performed a few surprise gigs a couple of times in London in 1996, though, and in Jan, 2002

Adam had been playing secret, ad-hoc gigs around London’s Camden jazz scene. The much hyped appearance of Adam in The Here and Now Tour 2002, likewise, never materialised.

January 2002 was a time when his bi-polar disorder got the better of Adam. On Jan14, he was arrested for threatening pub hecklers with an imitation firearm for ridiculing his bizarre “cowboy “ clothes and two days later was briefly admitted to a psychiatric ward and sectioned under the Mental Health Act. The next incident involved being arrested on June 12, 2003 for allegedly dropping his trousers in front of cafe-goers.

Apparently, by September 2006, Adam had recovered, sufficiently well to face the public at the official launch of his autobiography, ‘Stand & Deliver’.

He says of the launch “It was my first tour for ten years and I was really nervous. I kept thinking, what if no one turns up? And then I saw them, a queue of people snaking along the street and around the corner...there was no doubt these were Adam Ant fans. For the first time that day, I felt myself smiling” He followed this with more interviews for radio stations, newspapers and magazines, quoted in October’06 Uncut Magazine as saying “I am also looking forward to making music again. There was a time when I thought that was all finished. Now I

know there is some great music still in me.”

In September 2007, Adam gave a one-off performance at the Bloomsbury Theatre, London.

It was his first headlining appearance in the UK for almost 12 years. He had reinvented himself, confident, witty and appealing as he entertained fans for two hours non-stop, with the same energy and charisma he displayed 30 years before as he culminated to a standing ovation, whistles, cheers and chants of “We want more”. This success was followed by a guest interview on ITV’s “This Morning” and later a Daily Mail two week ‘80s album promotion on 8 September 2008.

On 7 July, 2008, Adam featured on erstwhile Antman, Boz Boorer’s forthcoming album Miss Pearl, singing “Jungle Rock”. Adam is also trying to sell his Adam Ant Art, which celebrates his artistic influences and inspirations, both musical and visual, and will include words and pictures on his musical and artistic heroes. The book will feature some of Adam’s unpublished original artworks, storyboards for videos, sketches, collages and original hand-written lyrics and lyrical ideas.

“Music is part of me as much now as it has ever been.......” Adam Ant 2007

WW2 Monopoly

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Starting in 1941, an increasing number of British airmen found themselves as the involuntary guests of the Third Reich, and the Crown was casting about for ways and means to facilitate their escape. Now obviously, one of the most helpful aids to that end is a useful and accurate map, one showing not only where stuff was, but also showing the locations of safe houses’ where a POW on-the-lam could go for food and shelter.

Paper maps had some real drawbacks -- they make a lot of noise when you open and fold them, they wear out rapidly, and if they get wet, they turn into mush.

Someone in MI-5 (similar to America's OSS) got the idea of printing escape maps on silk.

It 's durable, can be scrunched-up into tiny wads, and unfolded as many times as needed, and makes no noise whatsoever.

At that time, there was only one manufacturer in Great Britain that had perfected the technology of printing on silk, and that was John Waddington, Ltd. When approached by the government, the firm was only too happy to do its bit for the war effort.

By pure coincidence, Waddington was also the U.K. Licensee for the popular American board game, Monopoly. As it happened, 'games and pastimes' was a category of item qualified for insertion into 'CARE packages', dispatched by the International Red Cross to prisoners of war.

Under the strictest of secrecy, in a securely guarded and inaccessible old workshop on the grounds of Waddington's, a group of sworn-to-secrecy employees began mass-producing escape maps, keyed to each region of Germany or Italy where Allied POW camps were.

When processed, these maps could be folded into such tiny dots that they would actually fit inside a Monopoly playing piece. As long as they were at it, the clever workmen at Waddington's also managed to add: 1. A playing token, containing a small magnetic compass 2. A two-part metal file that could easily be screwed together 3. Useful amounts of genuine high-denomination German, Italian, and French currency, hidden within the piles of Monopoly money!

Of the estimated 35,000 Allied POWS who successfully escaped, an estimated one-third were aided in their flight by the rigged Monopoly sets.

Everyone who did so was sworn to secrecy indefinitely, since the British Government might want to use this highly successful ruse in still another, future war. The story wasn't de-classified until 2007, when the surviving craftsmen from Waddington's, as well as the firm itself, were finally honored in a public ceremony.

It's always nice when you can play that 'Get Out of Jail' Free' card! I realize most of you are (probably) too young to have any personal connection toWW 2 (Dec. '41 to Aug. '45), but this is still interesting, isn't it?

Sent by Geoff Spinks

British and American air crews were advised, before taking off on their first mission, how to identify a 'rigged' Monopoly set -- by means of a tiny red dot, one cleverly rigged to look like an ordinary printing glitch, located in the corner of the Free Parking square.

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e l z z u P a i n a M Sudoku

Silly Quiz!

1 Runs all day, but never walks, Often murmurs, but never talks, It has a bed, but never sleeps, It has a mouth but never eats. What is it?

2 What grows bigger the more you take out of it?

3 How many times can you subtract the number 2 from the number 50?

4 Mr. and Mrs. Rabbit have six children who are boy rabbits. Each boy rabbit has two sisters. How many children are there in the Rabbit family?

5 Every morning, it takes Mr. Finster 3 minutes to boil an egg for his breakfast. One day, 2 friends joined him for breakfast. How long will it take him to boil 3 eggs?

6 If 5 horses can eat five bags of oats in five minutes, how long will it take 100 horses to eat 100 bags of oats?

Answers later in the magazine, good luck

Hope you enjoy the Crossword, answers later in the magazine

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An Unlikely Pattaya

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LEFT Curt at Bira statue TOP LEFT 2 all lined up and ready to race MAIN Coming home to the finish

At first glance it’s hard to believe 47-yearold Curt Guy, US-born but residing in Britain, is a sporting champion. He has the girth of a gastronome and the receding hairline of an harassed secondary-school teacher, but get him behind the wheel of a 125cc go-kart pulling 18,000-plus revs and he is one of the best in Thailand.

Star

12-21 Dec Khao Keow Open Zoo TourBus 2006

In 2007 Curt Guy won the Super-Kart Thailand Pro-Senior Championship (the Formula One equivalent of the karting scene) and in 2008 he came into the final day of competition in the defence of his title in second place, but so close to the leader that a win or even high placing could see him snare the title yet again, depending on where his main rival finished.

That final event of the championship series took place in September at the Bira International Racing Circuit, near Pattaya. Racing takes place from late January to December each year, alternating between the Bira circuit and a track in Saraburi.

While all the other drivers on the competition circuit live in Thailand, Guy commutes from his home in the town of Luton in England. He has been doing it this way for the past 15 years. Perhaps it’s no surprise then that his team G-Tec is sponsored by Thai Airways, as well as cable television operator UBC. Despite his success over

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They race in all kinds of weather

the years Curt says, “I can’t get a contract because I’m too old. Not that I’m not good enough, just too old.”

Curt Guy’s own sporting hero is Prince Birabongse Bhanutej Bhanubandh, the grandson of King Mongkut (Rama IV), whose sporting achievements have led many pundits to declare him as one of, if not the, greatest sportsman produced in Thailand. Born on 15 July 1914 in Bangkok he was sent to England when he was 13 to attend that most famous of all public schools, Eton College. It was here he had his named shortened to ‘Prince Bira’ by a teacher who could not pronounce, let alone spell, his full name. She simply began referring to him as ‘Prince Bira’.

When he was 20 years old, his cousin, Prince Chula Chakrabongse, who headed up a motor racing team called White Mouse Stable in Britain, gave Bira the opportunity to try his hand at piloting a race car.

He proved a natural. Prince Bira was so successful as a racing driver he won the British Racing Drivers Clubs’ Road Racing ‘Gold Star’ award for 1936, 1937, and 1938, a hat-trick never achieved before or since.

According to sources, Prince Bira competed in 30 races between 1935 and 1939 for a remarkable 10 wins, eight seconds, five thirds, one fourth, one fifth, and five retirements. He also set lap records at Donington, Phoenix Park, and Crystal Palace. Apart from racing cars, Bira was also an accomplished sailor and learnt to fly.

Bira competed in Britain’s first post-war international race, in August 1946 at Ballyclare in Northern Ireland. The race, known as the Ulster International Trophy, saw him defeat ‘Parnell (England) with a speed of 78.48 mph…For the last 25 miles, over a most difficult and exciting course, Bira…and Parnell fought it out so closely that

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it brought the crowd to its feet.’ (Bangkok Post 11 August 1946) After retiring as a racing driver, Bira concentrated his sporting efforts on the water, and was part of the Thai team to compete in the 1956 Melbourne and 1960 Rome Olympic Games. He was also on the Thai team for the 1972 Munich Olympics, even though he was then 58 years old.

In 1969, Bira contested his last major motor racing event when he took part in the Vientiane (Laos) to Singapore Rally. In 1970, he competed in, and won, the inaugural Firebird Trophy, a long-distance sailing race for a small racing vessel known as the Fireball and held in the waters off Pattaya Bay. The Prince sculpted the perpetual trophy, a massive 200-kilogram piece cast in bronze. A fountain in a corner of a Silverstone paddock erected in memory of Pat Fairfield, a British racing driver killed in the 1937 Le Mans 24-Hour Road Race, also has a bronze bas-relief sculpted by Prince Bira.

Prince Bira died on 23 December 1985 at the age of 71 after suffering a heart attack on a London underground train station.

For Curt Guy the almost non-descript statue of Prince Bira just inside the entrance to the track is like a shrine. On race days it is usually adorned with garlands, humbly presented by competitors who no doubt hope some of Bira’s amazing skills will rub off on them.

Motor racing -like yachting and polo- is a sport for people with money to burn. Prize money in go-kart racing is limited, with the average victory reaping only around 5,000 baht. Hardly a great incentive for someone to invest big bucks into a machine where the driver has his backside so perilously close to the unforgiving tarmac he could get wind rash haring

LEFT Two Bira circuit umbrella girls, looking suitably cute BELOW It pays to advertise, the Grand Mercure Hotel girls

around tight bends. Average lap times at Bira are about 57 to 58 seconds: “The difference between first and last on the grid is usually not much more than 1.5 seconds, it’s that competitive,” Curt said. “The karts reach speeds of around 80 to 90 kilometres per hour on the main straight,” he added. Of course, that’s the thrill: speed; never mind the average 250,000-baht cost of a grade-A machine.

For G-Tec some of the costs of racing are allayed by the fact they are the only team who build their own chassis, selling some to other racers. They also have aficionados who pay for the privilege of racing under their colours. The rent on their three-storey workshop and living space at the Bira circuit runs to 20,000 baht a month. A day’s racing with the fees charged by the racetrack as well as costs of fuel, tyres, mechanics and the like run to between 20-25,000 baht.

One race proved why go-karting is such an adrenalin rush. A heat featuring 19 go-karts saw one of the leading contenders, who had scored an easy victory earlier in the day, left floundering after the start.

While his 18 rivals raced into the first turn, he was still on the grid waiting to get his kart re-started.

When he eventually got moving

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The final provided its share of high drama. When Curt’s main rival spun out prior to the last of the 14 laps, he only had to finish the race to gather enough points to take the championship for a second successive time. At the time, Curt was in front of his rival for the championship but didn’t know he had been forced out of the race when his kart broke down. Knowing he needed to place as highly as possible to take the title, Curt forced the pace near the first turn, clipped the kart in front and the pair spun out, off the track, and out of the race. The bid for victory was over and never was the cliché ‘so near and yet so far’ more appropriate.

“All he had to do was finish the race to win,” was how one of his team described the incident, “but of course he didn’t know that.”

Curt walked back to the pits, clearly dejected. His mood wasn’t improved when he found out his rival had broken down. A couple of refreshing ales soothed the pain of defeat.Yes, he will be making the regular commute from England to Thailand every couple of weeks in 2009 in an attempt to win back the title he so narrowly, and unluckily, relinquished. Perhaps the spirit of Prince Bira will walk with him then. he was so far behind it looked as though he faced an almost impossible task of even catching up to the second-last vehicle. Not only did he manage to catch up to the field, he passed eight rivals to eventually finish 11th, a remarkable and exciting effort.

Anyone who has spent time on racecourses of any kind will know there are some days when everything falls perfectly into place; then there are other days when nothing seems to come right, no matter how well prepared or organised you may be. This final day at the Bira circuit was, for Curt, one of the latter.

He failed to finish in his first heat when a rogue spark plug caused his kart to break down in the final lap. Curt estimated the cost of repairing the damage to the engine of this vehicle at around 130,000 baht.

His back-up kart was made ready and Curt prayed to the spirit of Prince Bira it would be able to handle the stress he was going to put it under.

The penalty for failing to finish meant Curt had to start from the rear of the field in his second heat.

In this event he showed just why he became 2007 champion and was close enough to making it back-toback victories in 2008. Needing to ‘nurse’ his fresh go-kart through its paces in this heat, Curt came from 20th on the grid and passed rival after rival to finish a strong third and issue on ominous warning to his competition for the final.

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Story by Duncan Stearn Photos by DAK & Duncan Stearn

Places To Go Things To Do People To See

Ah, February, the shortest month of the year – but not short of things to do in Pattaya as well as other exotic places in Thailand. From flowers to motorcycles there are exciting and beautiful activities for everyone to enjoy.

Feb 6 – 8 (held annually): Northern Thailand is world famous for its wealth of flowering plants which reach full bloom as February marks the end of Thailand’s cool season. Be dazzled by over 3000 species of fragrant orchids blooming up in Chiang Mai, the city known as the “Rose of the North.” At the “Chiang Mai Flower Festival” see sculptures of temples, animals and scenes from the Ramayana (the Hindu stories of the Gods) made from flowers and paraded through the streets of this beautiful northernwestern city. Besides the orchids you’ll find the Damask Rose, a special variety found in Chiang Mai, as well as yellow and white chrysanthemums. In addition to the parades you’ll enjoy the multitude of floral displays, local handicrafts, sales and beauty pageants. Although Chiang Mai is the second largest city in Thailand it is slow paced and beautiful in its own right. After enjoying the gorgeous flowers take time for some trekking and visit the northern hill tribes.

continuing on through the finals held on Feb. 15.

Tickets for the qualifying rounds on Feb. 7 & 8 are only 200 Baht. The 1st and 2nd rounds held Feb. 9 – 12 cost 300 to 500 Baht. Quarter finals, semifinals and finals will be played Feb. 13 -15 and tickets run 300, 500, 800 and 1000 Baht depending on seat location. Additional information can be obtained by calling Pentangle Promotions Co. Ltd. At: 02-3823491-3 or by going to www.pentanglepromotions.com

Feb. 12 – 14: Pattaya will roar to life when the 12th Anniversary of the Burapa Bikeweek 2009 rolls into town. This is not some wild biker gang blow out like those featured in the 1960’s B-movies. It is a great day for the family even if you don’t own a motorcycle. This FREE annual event, a celebration of Peace in a gathering together of motorcyclists from all over the world in a spirit of friendship regardless of race, creed or club colors, starts Thurs., Feb. 12th with a street party in Jomtien Soi 4 featuring local bands. Friday, Feb 13th the party moves just south of Pattaya to the Pattaya Sports Arena on Soi Chaiyapruk east of Sukhumvit. Then on Sat., Feb. 14th the main event continues with all of Fridays attractions plus displays of Paramotors, a Wild West show, American car display, fire show and a classic motorcycle display plus a huge parade of motorcycles around Pattaya at about noon that runs from Sukhumvit west on North Feb 7 through Feb 15: Closer to home, attend the Pattaya Road to Beach Road, through Walking Street and on out to Jomtien. The evening will feature the PTT Pattaya Open Tennis Tournament at the Dusit Thani Hotel located at the Dolphin Roundabout. best of Western and Thai rock music culminating in a performance from the immensely popular Carabao Scheduled qualifying matches from 7 – 9 February band. As many as 10,000 motorcycles from around with the main events starting on February 9 and

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Thailand are expected to motor into this event. The event promotes anti-drugs, road safety and the benefit of wearing a helmet.

Feb. 9 (annual): Magha Puja – this important Buddhist holy day celebrates when 1250 of the Lord Buddha's disciples spontaneously gathered to hear him preach. Ceremonies take place during the day at Thailand's temples then at night triple candlelight processions are staged around monastery chapels.

Feb 12 – 15: Thailand Industrial Fair 2009 at the BITEC Center in Bangkok – Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor wouldn’t miss this major exhibition of industrial products and services. On display will be a wide range of machinery, tools, welding gear, material handling equipment, pumps, valves, metalworking apparatus and electrical gadgets. If you see something that trips your trigger you can purchase it because there will be a ‘total sale’ of the products on display on a scale never before seen. In addition you can attend free seminars put on by renowned institutes providing you with the latest knowledge on industrial technology. For information call T.B.P. Publication Co., Ltd: 02-937-3322

13 – 15 (held annually): Valentine’s Day, although not a traditional Thai holiday, is a fitting day for an Underwater Wedding Ceremony. This bizarre mass wedding ceremony is held in the southern province of Trang off Pak Meng Beach every year for couples from around the world who desire getting married underwater. Can’t swim? Not to worry.

Non-qualified divers can exchange their vows also.

In keeping with traditional Thai culture wedding couples dress in traditional hand-woven Thai wedding costumes and after the ceremony are escorted to their honeymoon suites by happily married older couples with the idea that the long close bond they share will also bless the newlyweds. The price: 30,000 to 75,000 Baht. When the average wedding in New York costs $26,000 US an underwater wedding in Thailand is not only a bargain, it will certainly be more memorable.

Feb 14: Not getting married? Why not attend The Elephant Banquet held in the northern province of Lampang? This banquet will amaze you when many elephants are treated to a feast of bananas, sugar cane, flowers and other elephant delicacies piled high upon toke tables (a round table approximately three feet across). But there is no free lunch here. The elephants must pay for this delicious feast by playing music and painting pictures you can buy.

Feb. 11 – 15: For art aficionados; head to the 100 Tonson Gallery located at 100 Soi Tonson, Ploenchit Road, Lumpinee, Patumwan in Bangkok. Open from 11am to 7pm, view a variety of contemporary artworks and visual culture from top quality young as well as established international artists. For information call: 081-806-5855 Feb 20 – Mar 1: Building or buying a home or condo?

Head to the BITEC convention center in Bangkok for HomeWorks Expo 2009 where the latest in quality home products will be on display and for sale at special prices at this fantastic event. Home Works – The Center and Power Buy – The Ultimate Center teamed up to present the latest in electrical appliances and gadgets from top brands from around the world.

This is a “must see” if you are furnishing your home or condo. For additional information contact CRC Power Retail Co. Ltd. by calling: 02-206-9300 ext. 4613.

Feb. 28 (held monthly on the last Saturday of every month): The last day of February go to the Phimai Historial Park for the Wimaya Nattakan Sound and Light Show which depicts the past glory of ancient Phimai and the Khmer empire. The first half of the performance features choreographic creations inspired by the bas-relief of the Phimai Sanctuary itself. Vignettes depicted include Buddhist religious processions, the ancient ritual dance of the boxers and the Phimaipura or Vimayapura dance. Folk and traditional dances such as the Bai Sri Su Kwan dance, Manohra Len Nam dance, the Dung Krok and Dung Sak mortar and pestle dance are featured in the second half of the presentation.

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A VISIT TO By Gary Hacker

HANOI Our taxi screams through the wildly busy traffic and stops in front of a pencil thin hotel almost hidden by the many street stands and activity on the narrow street. I step out with my daughter and look up at the eight levels, so narrow it is only one room wide.

We have arrived in Hanoi, Vietnam after a three hour plane ride from Bangkok. I worked in this city almost two decades ago and my original surprise was the Airport, now relocated 40 minutes north of town from its original location edging the city. Much expanded now, it is equipped with all the latest accordion ramps and baggage carousels.

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This is my daughter Kelly’s first trip to Vietnam and she is amazed by the heavy traffic composed of more motorbikes than I have ever imagined in one place. It’s a motorized mob scene as they crowd together and cut around the few slow moving vehicles, often brushing against each other in their rush, encompassed in the bark of roaring engines. We check-in, take the elevator to our front facing rooms on the upper floors and unpack. We are anticipating an exciting stay in Hanoi followed later by a cruise on a modern Chinese Junk Replica on Halong Bay.

Getting here, we had booked the infamous Thai discount Airline only to have them cancel our flight two days before departure without alternative.

Fortunately we were able to re-book on Vietnam Airlines (6,400 Baht RT) requiring a jaunt to Bangkok as they have no online booking and take no credit cards. Their office is in the “Wave Building” on the corner of Sukhumvit and Wireless Road just up from the Vietnam Embassy. Our “instant” same day visas cost us 3,000 Baht each as opposed to 1,600 Baht if we’d planned ahead.

Our accommodation, suggested by a friend, is the Lucky Star Hotel (18 Hang Hom Street) in the Old Quarter of Hanoi and only a stones throw from the picturesque Hoan Kiem Lake that shimmers in the morning sun. With eight floors, the last two a walkup, this place gives the feeling of intimacy that the large hotels do not offer. Room rates start at $35 and go to $50 for a large suite including breakfast. Our rooms are spacious with carved wood furniture and large windows looking out onto the street (#402 & #502).

Dollars can be used in some establishments but the locals prefer Vietnamese Dong. Currently, there are 17,000 Dong to one US Dollar. (An even better almost identical hotel alternate is The Lucky2, 46 Hang

Hom) Be sure and order an Airport pickup to the hotel for $15.

In the early nineties, I recall a sleepy little town with only a handful of vehicles and plenty of bicycles cascading in all directions.Young Vietnamese ladies, outfitted in French garb with sparkling white blouses and cocked hats, sat up straight in the saddle and peddled slowly along the streets. I rode a bicycle then and my government job had me bouncing in and out of the Country weekly. The Lake in the middle of town was the focal point of entertainment and couples walked hand in hand and sat on the benches under colorful lanterns strung around the entire perimeter.

Even now as in the past, early risers practice Tai Chi and joggers pass the charming Ngoc Son Temple built on a small inlet alongside the Lake My cell phone, picking up the local provider, goes off jarring me back from my memories of old Hanoi.

“Good afternoon Mister Gary, can we meet this afternoon?” The agent we found on the Internet wants to get together and show us the town. “Bac” has constantly communicated with me since I found his name and email on Trip Advisor. He has suggested our coming lake cruise itinerary and seems eager to meet us. I make arrangements for them to meet us at the hotel.

We unpack and get ready to explore. We walk out on the busy small street which seems crowded with shops and street stands. I thought Pattaya had an abundance of motorbikes but it is nothing like Hanoi and the roar is constant. “Dad, how can we possibly cross the street?” my daughter asks. The answer is to walk slowly into the wild cascade of traffic without stopping; the bikes slalom around you as your heart races. These streets are truly fascinating. Kelly and I are overcome with excitement as we step around and over objects and vender offerings. The smell of durian blended with whiffs of shrimp drying in the sun tweaks our nose; a street market appears and we

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walk adjacent to the row of vender stands admiring the many squirming fish, fat pulsating frogs and wiggling black eels. We make our way North and find a busy outside noodle shop on a street corner with tables covering the sidewalk. The patrons look up with smiles and we sit with a young Asian couple. They are eating a bowl of some kind of black concoction with small legs in a thick soup. I order a bowl of VN noodles popularly called “Pho” with a taste of something resembling chicken. Kelly enjoys her Vietnamese version of Thai Som Tom (raw green papaya) and a glass of strong tea. The meal is both satisfying and delicious (Ga Tan Cay Si, 29 Tong Duy Tan St.). Art shops appear on almost every street; I might add that the artwork found here dwarfs the works from adjoining counties and many come just to pick out a unique masterpiece. We wander some more, and finally, tiring, we head back on the long trek to our hotel.

Bac is waiting in the lobby with his business partner named “Sy”, (pronounced “Sea”); these are two young men for whom we immediately take a liking (info@ friendlyvietnamtravel.com). After an interlude of unpacking, Sy takes us by taxi to see several of the notorious highlights that I had previously mentioned to Kelly.

The Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum is a large square marble cubicle with stately columns that dominates a park like setting in a traffic free area set aside for monuments, memorials and pagodas. Ho Chi Minh rests in state here and lines of Vietnamese sprinkled with tourists queue up around and outside the building.

A dress code is enforced and stern looking guards with machine guns give those standing in line a sense of unease. On the same grounds, a pond filled with carp accent the small wooden house where Ho Chi Minh spent his time near a museum dedicated to his name.

A replica of the ancient One Pillar Pagoda, pointlessly destroyed by the French prior to quitting Hanoi, has been rebuilt under the trees and over a pond.

The largest lake in Hanoi is the massive West Lake, over a mile in circumference. Our taxi slows to a stop and we get out as Bac and Sy explain the surroundings.

This is the lake where Presidential candidate McCain was once plucked out, crashing after a bombing run and paraded through the town with his hands tied. A walk through the Tran Quoc Pagoda finds a multi level Chinese style tower and many small temple enclaves that sit on the cusp of the majestic lake. We hear tourists around us chatting in all languages. The almost musical sing-song of Chinese blends with a young girl speaking French and a smattering of Swedish is heard behind us.

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There are so many things to do in Hanoi. Sy talks about a cooking school and a festival taking place near the Lake. “The Jazz Club” hops in late evening and everyone catches the Water Puppet Show. We walk along a tree lined street with majestic French style homes that were no doubt built by prominent officials during the colonial period. Many have been taken over as embassies and one can only imagine the parties and social events that took place under French rule.

After a nap, we are ready for dinner. There are more restaurants in Hanoi than can possibly be covered in a short stay. “Bobby Chin”, the famous eatery on the south end of the Lake is known to be fabulous and expensive. A couple of blocks west at 25 Ly Quoc Su we discover “La”, a tiny tucked away eatery in the maze of clothing and art shops. Inside is a small dining room with a round bar in the rear and seven tables set in elegant style. The menu varies from Lamb Shank in brown gravy to traditional Vietnamese fare and specials which tonight include fresh soft shell crab.

The Wine Board is displayed high on the side wall and covers a spectrum of wines at far cheaper prices than Thailand. The Chocolate Expresso Brownie with lemon frosting and homemade ice cream is a must.

Another, “gotta try” is the “Green Mango” (18 Hong Quat), almost kiddy-corner to our Lucky Star Hotel. Food and drink are beyond compare, coupled with exotic cocktails, a romantic atmosphere and fabulous service. We mark this one as a winner.

The following days we continue our exploratory walks around the Old Quarter, finding a treasure of shops that pique our interest. Van Can Street, just north of Haan Kiem Lake, spiders out into small side streets, each one a delight. Kelly spies a traditional green sport jacket and it is a perfect fit; a Vietnamese look, but also classy enough to wear in the West (T&D Fashion, 15 Ly Quoc). We drift into a small traditional eatery called “Little Hanoi” (9 Ta Hien) and delight in a dish of thin noodles topped with fresh fish and shrimp and a sauce to die for. Be sure and get a glass of the local beer, “Bia Hoy” brewed locally and about 15 US cents a mug.

After lunch, we take a taxi to ‘Bay Mau Lake’ on the south side of town and explore the park and rec grounds that surround it. Local people and herds of children gather in social groups and clusters of young folk play Badminton. There is an audible pop of a shuttlecock as it is batted back and forth between two gorgeous young gals. I stretch my arms in the air in delight, feeling a part of the local life and warmed by the many smiles and greetings as we stroll along the paths under the trees. The fresh aroma of the greenery blends with the breeze coming across the Lake adding new vitality to my aging body. “Come on Dad, let’s start home” as Kelly struts out in the direction of our hotel; we end up walking the entire distance back to the Old Quarter, past the narrow streets that we have become so fond of.

The inevitable question from my Pattaya friends is, “what about sex”? Aside from some side-street massage parlors staffed with outstanding young ladies, the outward exhibit of companionship is rarely seen in Hanoi. Very young masseurs of both genders offer patrons the most tantalizing and professional massages at reasonable prices.

From Thailand, visa runs are made in all directions but few ever think of North Vietnam. This trip for me has been one of the most memorable ever. A few days are just not enough to cover the multitude of sites and adventures contained here. There are trips, even train trips, available to small towns in the mountains north and to the outskirts of the City. I am anticipating our planned cruise on Halong Bay knowing little of what to expect but imagining days spent on calm waters exploring islands and caves. What will it be like?

The story of this fabulous Heritage Site and all it encompasses is another article soon to come.

For more facts and suggestions about planning a visit to Hanoi, email me at sanmyn@aol.com and I can enlighten you with all kinds of additional details.

Underwater World Pattaya A Unique Marine Experience for All the Family

Underwater World Pattaya has not long since celebrated its fifth anniversary of bringing the denizens of the deep to the close attention of the public, particularly families. Over the time it has been in operation, it has gradually expanded its scope, educational programmes and exhibits to include 2,500 marine animals from more than 200 species, as well as being at the forefront of marine conservation and the enhancement of social awareness and responsibility towards marine ecosystems, including ‘Save the Turtle’. Here, they are working in close collaboration Sri Racha Municipality (where the turtles are bred) and with Burapha University, Bang Saen, with whom they have a mutual exchange and ongoing training programme.

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The emphasis at Underwater World Pattaya is on close personal interaction with the fish and its structured tour starts the ‘voyage to the bottom of the sea' at the shallow rock pools at the water’s edge with the Touch Pool, where visitors get the opportunity to feel the texture and see at first-hand such marine flora and fauna as the sea cucumber, starfish, lobster, blue-spotted stingrays, bamboo sharks and archer fish.

From there, you can take time out to pose in front of the backdrop of the Stone Temple Waterfall, with its Japanese koi carp, as a photo-record of your visit.

From here, you progress past the spectacularly colourful tropical fish, which inhabit the coral environment; here represented by the Sala and Reef Tanks. Amidst the artificial coral, you can glimpse the fluid grace of such fish as the blue ring angelfish, electric blue damselfish butterfly-fishes. Passing on past the latest exhibit, you can witness the diversity of some of the crab species, including the pebble, frog, decorated, rock and giant hermit crabs.

Then, with the entry into the 100 meter-long acrylic tunnels, you can get close up and personal to the sharks and rays as they swim around you and over your head. These rays, the ‘birds of the ocean’, so

called, include stingrays, shovelnose rays, shark-rays and giant groupers, as well as shoals of other fish. The sharks are represented by nurse, leopard and blacktip reef sharks, but no great whites, unfortunately; but then they are a protected species and the GM of Underwater World, Khun Bernard Wong, made a point of telling Pattaya Grapevine that it is against the organisation’s policy to exhibit any protected species.

In the Giant Siam Tank, next, you can marvel at some of the huge fish that inhabit the Mekong River and further on, the even huger varieties, which make the Amazon their home.

Apart from the fish, you can also witness the antics of mammals like the sea otters and the symbiosis of the anemone and anemone fish. Among the last exhibits, be sure not to miss out on the dangerous fish, some of which are lethal; these include moray eels and scorpion fish, lionfish and puffer fish, whose venom, tetrodotoxin, can apparently paralyse and kill a person in under an hour, if eaten. Pride of place for killing-ability goes to the stone-fish, however, the venom from which, if it doesn’t kill you, can have life-lasting effects. The stone-fish is only bettered by certain varieties of water snake, one drop of whose

poison is reputed to be able to kill up to five fullygrown men. Underwater World, however, doesn’t have any examples of them; thankfully, some may say.

In the sea around Pattaya are a number of examples of coral, specifically Koh Larn (Coral Island), which Underwater World, in collaboration with various interest groups, including Burapha University, are doing their utmost to conserve, due to their extreme fragility. Coral reefs and outcrops play host to a multitude of marine species and plants and represent an ecosystem of extraordinary diversity and symbiosis, with each species virtually dependent upon each other as they all play their individual parts in maintaining this rich sphere of marine life. Wishing to uphold the conservation of this complex natural habitat, Underwater World uses artificial rather than genuine coral.

Indeed, apart from providing marine life with a home, coral and its derivatives can also be of immense value to mankind in the form cancer fighting drugs and the

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use of hard coral in bone transplants. Accordingly, Underwater World strongly advises coral reefs should not be used for frivolous decorative purposes, like jewellery, or for popular or tourist amusement, which irresponsible local diving groups have been known to do, thus harming the coral and disrupting the marine life. They also advocate responsible disposal of rubbish away from the sea, more regulated disposal and treatment of sewage, the prohibition of mining coral reefs for building materials and the practice of using dynamite to fish.

Another rich breeding ground and habitat of marine diversity are the wrecks of ships, many of which gradually become covered with coral and thus serve as artificial reefs, and Underwater World has replicated this phenomenon in yet another of its exhibits.

In its policy of encouraging greater human-marine interaction, Underwater World stages fish-feeding exhibits, underwater weddings and the ultimate thrill of diving with sharks and rays. Diving under the guidance of qualified divers, you can really get up close and personal in either the Coral Reef Tank or Sharks and Ray Tank, or both.You should hold an open-water dive certificate, or if not you can snorkel instead; all you need to be able to do is swim.

Underwater World’s GM, Khun Bernard stressed how involved his organisation is with all local and national schools in enhancing their awareness and appreciation of all things marine. They have a very

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comprehensive educational programme from primary to tertiary levels already in place. Recently, a schools competition to provide a suitable slogan for global warming was run with 12 scholarship winners, out of 2000 national entrants. Global warming is one of the contributors to coral destruction, along with the depletion of the ozone layer, which allows in harmful cosmic rays. Underwater World is also working strongly in support of governmental initiatives, both to generally encourage awareness of marine ecosystems and to encourage tourism, Underwater World being a very popular tourist attraction. It is also the organisation’s policy to continually upgrade and expand the infrastructure of its exhibition with the future addition of cuttlefish, upside-down jellyfish and other unique species, and perhaps even dolphins. They also have an adventurous ray and shark breeding programme; evidence of which can be seen in the shark egg exhibit. Khun Bernard’s ultimate mission, however, is essentially to change the popular mindset of what constitutes an aquarium and make the marine environment a more general attraction overall.

Underwater World Pattaya Opening Hours : 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily Admission Fee : Adult 450 Baht, Child 250 Baht 22/22 Moo 11, Sukhumvit Road, Pattaya, Chonburi. Tel: 038-756 879

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Treasure

Hill

This course has a pedigree. Golf courses, like art, designer clothes, perfumes, watches etc. have greater cache, greater comparable value when a known name is attached to them.

Most golfers know of or are positively impressed, perhaps in awe of Blue Canyon C.C. in Phuket. Ok there is only one Blue Canyon, what a unique piece of land to build a golf course upon.... Three Johnny Walkers and voted one of the top ten courses in Asia by Golf Digest. Like Pebble Beach every golfer wants to play it, at least once. Who designed it ? Few golfers know that Yoshikazu Kato designed Blue Canyon and he is also the designer of Treasure Hills.

Treasure Hills (TH) is no Blue Canyon one may be quick to add....true, but it is not the Ugly sister either. This article will hopefully reveal a few charms and challenges of TH that are all its own.

Kato brought the same Zen sense to the development of TH as he did to Blue Canyon.

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In an era of “ we can build anything “, Kato stayed true to the old design theory that less is more, use the land in front of you, move as little dirt as possible and simply let the land speak to you. Sort of seeing the figure in the block of marble and removing just enough stone to free it.

What a vision. The course is set at the foot of a steep, wooded hillside. No houses, cars, electric poles etc. to disturb the serenity. Fifteen holes have water in play. Three holes have trees strategically placed in the fairway. And, in this writers opinion, the most fascinating and challenging green complexes of all the courses in the Pattaya area.

What is a green complex? In short, the green and all the immediate area surrounding the green and the design thereof ; bunkers, run-off areas, elevation, slope, slant, size and undulations of a green as well as numerous fair pin positions. The green complexes at TH have it all. They are challenging, varied, testing and sometimes maddening. They appeal to the masochist in all golfers.

It is said that Jack Nicklaus, in his pursuit of majors, used to view a hole from behind the green, looking back in the direction of the tee in order to best determine the way to play a particular hole.

Taking into account that particular green complex the analysis would dictate what side of the fairway from which to approach a green thus minimizing the possible disasters waiting to happen. Where best to have the ball stop on the green in relation to the pin placement. Also, and equally important, where best to miss a shot should the planned shot not come off as visualized. ALL MISSED SHOTS ARE NOT EQUAL. Short side yourself and you have no chance at par....

miss wide and leave yourself a fair chance of getting up and down, limiting the damage and moving on.

TH is strategically designed with this in mind.

Getting the ball on the green in regulation does not guarantee par.You are only half way and the real fun is just beginning. Get on the WRONG side of the pin on these greens....good luck, good-bye and hello to 3 - putt hell.

TH opens with a big 1,2 punch....better be warmed up and feeling spry. The first hole is a daunting 576 yard par 5. You can’t sleepwalk into the first hole of your round. A very good tee shot gives you the possibility of getting past the two ponds that brackett the fairway at the 200 yard mark on your second shot.

Anything less calls for a lay-up leaving you with a 200 yard plus for your third shot and par a long way off.

The fun is just beginning. The second is a 213 yard par 3. The green is set behind two bracketting ponds.

No bump and run here. Anything less than a 200 yard carry and your wet....this is your wake up call.

The fourth hole is as strategic as it gets. A 388 yard par 4, dogleg left, red staked right, water and sand left and a fairway that narrows such that some say your 4 ball has to walk down it in single file. Find the fairway and a mid-iron will get you to an uphill V shaped green that has a camel buried in the middle of it. Get on the wrong side of this pin placement and you will pray for a 3 - putt. A bogey never felt so good !

The front side closes with a very demanding uphill par 4 of 415 yards. Trees left and water right define the driving area. A well struck utility or fairway metal will get you to the long, narrow slip of a green which is guarded by a bunker and a tree right and water left.

This is do or die golf. If you elect to go for it a 4 or 5 is a great score....double digits, dribbling and shouts to your god of “ Why Me ? “ are a real possibility.

The 11th hole is # 1 HDCP of 442 yards, dogleg left. A wide inviting fairway may offer a false sense of security. The long second shot calls for a precise shot to a green guarded on the right by a pond and bunkers left. The green slants steeply left to right towards the pond. Over protect and miss the green left and the pond looms large. An approach above or left of the hole and your singing the 3 - putt blues.

The 200 yard par 3 thirteenth demands an extremely accurate shot to a shapely figure 8 green that is narrow to begin with. Since we are in a new and more sensitive era let’s just call it a ladies size 4. Any shot that lands

on this green is no small accomplishment. It may be easier to get a hit at a nunnery than to get a ball to alight onto this green.

The 16 th is a reachable par 5 for long hitters. A drive against the backdrop of the soaring hillside is a joy in it self. The tee shot must avoid the bunker right and OB left. Take the ravine on and you may be rewarded by reaching the green in two. Play safe and a short iron remain for your third shot... a very birdiable hole that offers the golfers choices.

The course closes with an enticing par 4 of 387 yards. At first glance it may appear somewhat benign. Upon closer inspection you must avoid the hill and red stakes right and trees left that block off a part of the fairway left. If you end up behind them you are forced just to bump it along , there is no shot to the green. A mid-iron second shot should favor the left side of the green but this brings the bunker into play. This green is slanted sharply right to left. A putt from above the pin may well run off the green.

For the undaunted this course is a big challenge.

The driver is not always called for. Analysis and strategic play to the greens is a great priority.

Hopefully you are on good terms with your putter.

You may have to put your ego aside and forgo your usual 36 points. The challenge and beauty of Treasure Hills is well worth that small cost.

Written by : smascari@hotmail.com

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NightMARCH That was the month that was (email: duncanstearn@gmail.com)

As anyone who has been longer in Pattaya than five minutes would soon realise, taking photos in chrome pole palaces is strictly forbidden for the average customer.

There are some ogling dens where the management take their own pictures and post them on their respective websites; others where a photo is about as rare as the Tasmanian tiger; while still others appreciate promotions and for selected and trusted outsiders they permit internal photography.

Over the years, this column and its ‘cousins’ in other publications, has beenable to supply a varying degree of photographic evidenceof the comings and goings in a variety of dens. On some occasions the number of places prepared to allow pictures is significant; at other times the opportunities are limited and hence the variety of photos is reduced.

The reason for the above preamble is simply to make it clear that as the months go by it will become clear to the regular reader that a core group of chrome pole playpens and their wallet-emptiers are consistently featured.

This is not favouritism, merely opportunity. As I have stated categorically elsewhere on more than one occasion, I have

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absolutely no financial or physical interest in any bar or entertainment venue anywhere in Fun Town. The dens who have, over the years, taken the lion’s share of picture space have been places such as Diamond (Soi Diamond) and Casino Club (Soi Diamond) and in recent times Baby Dolls (Soi 15, off Walking Street) and Sisterz (Walking Street).

Any owner or manager of any house of internal entertainment who would like this column to present a feature on their dancing stable is more than welcome to contact this writer at the email address featured at the head of this column. There’s no charge for pics as a digital camera is used and the results, while shared with the bar in question, remain the property of the photographer. So, if you have a line-up of chrome pole shufflers and you think a nice spread in a magazine of this quality might draw a few more bums through the door to occupy your seats then we are only an email away.

In the meantime, this issue features ladies from two dance contests, one held in the Diamond den of the chrome pole and the other in the Sisterz house of many showgirls.

All photos by DAK

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Take a Tour on the

Magic Bus

Every day I get in the queue (Too much, the Magic Bus) To get on the bus that takes me to you (Too much, the Magic Bus) I’m so nervous, I just sit and smile (Too much, the Magic Bus) Your house is only another mile (Too much, the Magic Bus) Thank you, driver, for getting me here (Too much, the Magic Bus) You’ll be an inspector, have no fear (Too much, the Magic Bus) I don’t want to cause no fuss (Too much, the Magic Bus) But can I buy your Magic Bus? (Too much, the Magic Bus) (opening verse from ‘Magic Bus’ by The Who)

Many Thais are artistic and creative: just witness the incredible variety of items, from wood carvings to ‘tuk-tuks’ made from soft drink cans, that make up a seemingly endless list of arts and crafts made from just about everything imaginable. Arguably art in the form of paintings commands the top of the list. Whether you have your portrait painted or commission a copy of a Rembrandt, an exact likeness can be obtained from a Thai artist at an affordable price.

One group of artists whose artwork is the most visible comes from those who use the sides of tour buses for their canvas. Drive down any highway and sooner or later you will see a huge tour bus brightly decorated, with murals depicting cartoon characters, movies, landscapes, flowers, or simply psychedelic.

Just looking at these giant airbrushed paintings on wheels is a joy in itself.Yet they also serve a very important function: identity. Hundreds of tour buses visit tourist attractions all over the country, so before you board a tour bus it is important to look at how it is decorated. That way, once you have finished visiting

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a tourist site and return to a parking lot filled with colourful buses you will be able to recognise your particular vehicle. Some visitors become a little jealous when they discover their bus isn’t as nicely decorated as some others. A beautiful bus is not only of pride to the artist, but also its passengers.

“

Some visitors become a little jealous when they discover their bus isn’t as nicely decorated as some others

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DR. PENGUIN

THE MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR OF

Dr. Penguin is a character whose fame has spread far and wide, despite his relatively retiring disposition.

He gained his present nickname because of a misheard remark in an obscure Thai village. While giving a performance in front of the villagers, they remarked his gait resembled that of a penguin, which in Thai is “nok penguin”. What he heard, however, was “doc penguin” and he immediately adopted the name and has kept it ever since.

We left off the last article at the momentous first meeting of the pair who were to become “The Too Much Brothers”, Dr. Penguin and Count Bruno the Terrible, to start the Magical Circus, which began to tour Europe, and later, North Africa. At this juncture, Count Bruno split off to go to Goa in India, leaving Penguin to follow him. Penguin, being American and therefore somewhat geographically challenged, wasn’t even sure where Goa was and eventually got the impression it was a small town. It is, in fact, quite a large province, but Penguin only found that out when he got there. Through a process which can only be described as fate, or serendipity, Penguin miraculously managed to meet up again with Count Bruno and they took the Magical Circus overland, via Afghanistan to eventually end up in Kathmandu and later, Tibet.

Whilst in Kathmandu, the pair received a telegram, which read “Magic show confirmed for Lhosar. Come to Rumtek, now,” signed “His Holiness the Carmapa”.

At the time, they had not the faintest idea who the Carmapa was, the location of Rumtek, or what Lhosar was! Nevertheless, being of an adventurous disposition, they began their journey, which took them first to Biratnagar by plane, and then by jeep up the long steep road to Darjeeling. Here, they met up with a disparate group of very standoffish European Buddhist pilgrims,

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2 t Par

who were to take them reluctantly, hiding undercover in a supply jeep to avoid detection, to Gangtok, the capital of Sikkim, where they continued alone to the Tibetan border and on to Rumtek.

When they arrived, the whole side of the mountain was covered with Tibetan temples; one being a huge monastery; the seat of power of the Carmapa, one of the 4 regents of Tibetan Buddhism. Penguin, now known as Dr. Himali, recounts “We were immediately ushered into the Gompa to meet His Holiness the Carmapa. There was the Carmapa, sitting at the end of the room, looking very stern and serious. We started to say ‘Hello’ in Tibetan and fumbled around, not sure how to sit or stand, or even how to act! The Carmapa,

who had a translator standing next to him, bent over and right away started speaking to the translator, who said, ‘His Holiness says he’s been waiting for you two to come for a long time.’ We answered quickly saying that we came as fast as possible after we received the telegram, and Carmapa spoke to the translator who said: ‘No! His Holiness says he’s been waiting years, since 1938, when he let his two African birds go. And now you’re back, and together! That makes him very happy to see you both here now. He says he didn’t have to bring you together, you found each other first!’”

Ironically enough, Dr. Himali and Bruno, at this point known as Professor Chu Chu Re, had spoken often about having dreams that they had been birds in a past life, or had some sort of connection to birds.

They stayed in the exclusive Bird House of the Carmapa, later entertaining the Carmapa, himself, and even jamming with him on native instruments. Afterwards, they entertained the monks at the Tibetan New Year – Lhosar – later watching a Tibetan Opera, written by the Carmapa, which took eight days to perform! And then on into the Himalayas.

Not all Penguin’s magic shows are taken in the jocular spirit they are intended, though. Once, in Papua New Guinea, Penguin used a member of the audience to make a high denomination note disappear and then reappear from his left ear. Rejoining the audience, the unfortunate fellow nearly had his right ear ripped off by natives, intent on finding more money!

In Asia, Penguin began delving into ancient cultures and magic, developing a deep love of anthropology and travel. He next began extending his talents to TV and radio, performing, writing, directing, editing and producing. To date, his productions include over 200 episodes of international travel features. Apart from his own TV series- Dr. Penguin’s Magical World - broadcast in 25 countries , from Singapore to Mexico, he also appears regularly on Star TV’s “Travel Asia and Beyond”, which airs weekly in over 100 countries. He’s also appeared extensively on other networks from Discovery Channel, BBC, to CNBC. Penguin is currently in production of “Dr. Penguin Just Visiting this Planet” a new TV series which deals with environmental problems, teaches magic, and entertains children of all ages, soon to be released on US and European travel channels and also networks worldwide. He’s also currently negotiating with Disney for a new show to be aired late 2009.

The ‘almost famous’ Dr. Penguin also worked several years performing at various prestigious hotels, sometimes as the resident magician, and has also entertained

various members of the international royalty. He’s also acted as a consultant and performer for the Singapore Zoo, Singapore’s Jurong Bird Park, Thailand’s Safari World, Taiwan’s Ocean World and Xintiandi, Shanghai, developing safe and friendly magic shows with animals, mammals and birds.

In addition, he’s organized children’s arts festivals and events in Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Singapore, Bali, Hong Kong, Shanghai, Sydney, Perth, Kathmandu, New Delhi, Goa, Penang, Phnom Penh, Saigon, Bangkok, Phuket, Isarn, and Rayong. For the past 6 years, he’s been working in China, the USA, Vietnam, Thailand, Singapore, Cannes, and Australia.

Apart from the above mentioned roles and his celebrity profile, Penguin brings in his train extensive media and artistic contacts, as well as Dr. Penguin’s Magic Circus; now a group of top performers who travel annually to raise money for children’s charity projects. They offer their collective talents for the pure pleasure of making people laugh at a variety of venues.

In addition, Dr. Penguin and Captain Treetops, aka “The Laughing Wizards”, have formed another charity project known as “The Laughing Wizards Upcountry Show”, a wacky magical musical comedy show performed free at back street schools, orphanages and hospitals in some of the most diverse and poorest locations in South East Asia, including Esarn, where they also distribute free essential items like first aid kits and school supplies. A TV documentary will be made of their travels, highlighting local traits, traditions and customs unique to each area, as well as embodying teaching vignettes, such as educating children in personal hygiene, equipping the kids with free toothpaste and toothbrushes, first. This TV series will be distributed worldwide to help raise funds for charity.

All the various projects that Dr. Penguin and his associates are involved in are essentially about promoting the spirit of humanity through the universal language of humour, with the declared mission of bringing happiness to as many as possible in a very short period. .

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Whinning About Everything Worth Whinning About Written By

S. Tsow

The other day I was sitting at a bar whining about trivia with some of my fellow expat geezers. This is a favorite activity of expat geezers in the Land of Smiles. Present on this occasion were the brothers Tex and Bubba Hogwaller, poncey Brit-twit Cedric Smarmington-Fyffe, and illustrious dirtbag Shagwench McSwyne.

Tex: Y’know what really gets up mah nose? That ad on CNN that starts off with a piano playin’ an’ Christiane Amanpour in a full-face closeup, lookin’ all solemn as she intones, “You have seen the devastation caused by natural disasters…”

Bubba: Oh, man, Ah hate that ad so much! They’ve been showin’ it for somethin’ like five years now, an’ they show it ALL THE TIME. Makes me want t’ throw mah beer at the TV set. Be a terrible waste o’ beer, though.

Cedric: If you gentlemen would just watch a decent channel like the BBC, you would not have to endure such colonial trash.

Me: Yeah, well, you know what frosts my buns? Brits who can’t pronounce “Nepal.” I spent two of the best years of my life in the Peace Corps in Nepal, I’ve met Brits who’ve lived there 20 years, I’ve listened to professional British journalists reporting from Kathmandu, and I have yet to meet a single one of them who doesn’t pronounce the name of the country “Ne-PAWL.” Cedric: Well, how do you pronounce it, dear boy?

Me (grinding my teeth in righteous wrath): Ne-PAHL. It’s pronounced Ne-PAHL. In Nepali that’s spelled N-E-P-long A-L. The long A is pronounced “ah.” Hence the correct pronunciation: “Ne-PAHL.” I also get annoyed with people who say “Him-a-LAY-as” when the name of that mighty mountain range is pronounced “Him-AHL-ya.” Means the Abode of Snow.

Tex: Shoot fahr, Ess, “Him-AHL-ya” sounds awful hoity-toity fer a bunch o’ mountains. Makes ya think o’ lace doilies and crinoline.

You want a robust and manly pronunciation like “Him-a-LAY-as.”

Reminds me of a nip o’ whisky on a cold winter’s night. Which is jest what a man needs in mountains like them.

Shag: Tell ya what gets me, and that’s in them space movies and war movies where two guys are talkin’ over the radio and one of ‘em says, “Do you copy?” And the guy on the other end says, “Copy that, Houston.” Copy what? He ain’t got no notebook. What the hell is he copyin’?

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Bubba: They used to say “Roger,” and “Wilco.”

What ever happened to that?

Cedric: That is utterly out of date, dear boy. What we need is something more precise, and also more elegant, for such communications. I favor something along the lines of “Do you comprehend my meaning, my good fellow?”

Me: That’s too long. I’m an old 1950s boy, myself.

I’d favor something simple, like “Dig?” The answer would be “Dig.” Cedric: “Dig” is terribly retro, my lad. None of our contemporary airheads and teenyboppers will know what it means. However, you might translate it into French. French is always more elegant than English. I believe that the French would say, “Diggezvous?” And the answer would be “Alors, je dig.”

Me: This is Thailand, right? So how about going for Tinglish? “Dig mai?” or “Dig reu plao?” And the answer would be “Dig laew.” I’ve always liked “laew.”

Very emphatic.

Cedric: Now that we’ve solved that problem, what other petty concerns agitate our tiny brains?

Bubba: This ain’t petty, this is a major p**s-off.

Y’all cain’t buy no decent baseball cap no mo’.

They’ve all got fancy logos an’ designs on ‘em. If Ah want a logo on mah baseball cap, Ah’ll have one sewn on mahself. Besides that, them big companies are gettin’ free advertisin’ when Ah wear a baseball cap with their logo on it. If Ah wear a cap advertisin’ the New York Yankees or Ford or Budweiser, they ought to pay me a commission—or at least give me a discount on the price. A simple baseball cap: no logos, no design, no frills, no nothin’—that’s all Ah want.

Shag: Shoot fahr, Bub, it gets a hell of a lot worse’n that. Nowadays you cain’t buy a baseball cap that looks new. They’re all pre-aged an’ worn out an’ bashed up before ya even buy ‘em. They got the visor all chewed up an’ the cloth all raggedy an’ torn. Ah’m supposed t’ pay money for a piece o’ crap like that?

If Ah want a scuzzy ole cap that looks like it’s been through a war zone, with holes in it and loose threads poppin’ out all over an’ the visor eaten away by rats an’ termites, Ah’ll scuzzify it mahself.

Cedric: You are not au courant, my lads. It is now the fashion among the young and brainless to wear clothes that look as old and ragged as possible.

Witness the rage for pre-faded blue jeans with holes in the knees. But you are hopelessly behind the times.

I’ll bet you wear your baseball cap with the visor pointed forward.

Bubba: Wal, shore! That’s the way yer supposed to wear it. Keeps the sun outa yer eyes.

Cedric: If you would exercise a modicum of observation, you would note that, amongst the young and zit-faced, it is now the fashion to point the visor backward. This conveys an image of insouciant daring, of defiance of convention. Indeed, the onvention among the young has always been to defy convention. Nobody over the age of 25 wears a baseball cap with the visor pointing forward anymore.

Me: The younger generation is going to hell. The younger generation has ALWAYS been going to hell.

You can ask old geezers of any generation. In fact, everybody under the age of 25 ought to be classified as pre-human and locked up for the good of society.

Tex: Shoot, Ah know people who say the same thing about us.

S. Tsow can be flamed at s.tsow@ymail.com, except when he’s trying to figure out whether he’s pre-human or post-human.

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On the

Lighter Side

lice us? ip to their local po tr ld Isn’t it Obvio fie a on as w ergarten class of the 10

board, Little Johnny's kind cked to a bulletin ta , es ur ct pi w sa a picture and station where they gsters pointed to un yo e th of ne O e inals. rson. "Yes," said th pe d most wanted crim te an w a of o as the phot Little Johnny y to capture him." asked if it really w dl ba ry ve t an w es tectiv cture?" policeman. "The de hen you took his pi w m hi ep ke u yo asked, "W hy didn't

Quick off the Mark

A man in his 40's bought a new BM W and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to ope n her up.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mp h, he suddenly saw flashing red and blu e lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... then the reality of the situation hit him.

"What the heck am I doing?" he tho ught and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift, and it's Friday the 13th. I don 't feel like more paperwork, so if you can giv e me an excuse for your driving that I hav en't heard before, you can go." The guy thin ks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you we re trying to give her back." "Have a nice we ekend," said the officer.

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Fool A

in Paradise

Mia Noi

The adolescent male mind is a strange and curious thing. I remember in my late teens and early twenties my mates and I used to fantasize about the joys of being married but having a girlfriend as well. We thought it would be the best of both worlds; providing a wife and family for stability and ‘a bit on the side’ for fun. Unfortunately, as we all fell like lemmings into apparent ease. I am of the opinion the former the marriage trap, we came to realize that it was just argument is more correct but it depends a lot on your that – a fantasy. Any single woman with potential ran definition of ‘mia noi’. What I am about to say comes for the hills as soon as she found out we were married purely from eight years of personal observations and while the wives let us know it would be divorce court discussions with Thai females. I have not studied up if they ever caught us enjoying the company of another on the history, statistical predominance or cultural woman. Such is life in the West. aspects of the minor wife custom.

Imagine my surprise when, coming to Thailand, I My good friend has a Thai friend who is now found that a Thai husband having ‘a bit on the side’ was in his nineties. This guy is the head of a wealthy widely practiced and accepted (in most cases). Not Bangkok family, lives in a beautiful house in an upper only that, but a husband could have a permanent ‘bit class suburb and has always been what we would class on the side’ by way of a mia noi or minor wife. Wow! as ‘rich’. He also has two – yes two – mia nois who he My adolescent dreams coming true. Over the has supported for the past forty years. Both women subsequent years I’ve learned that this matrimonial are now in their sixties. He pays everything for them; male freedom comes at a price and it is not quite as their accommodation, food, clothing, medical bills; simple as it sounds. and has left substantial provision for them in his Will.

Firstly, there are two schools of thought from a To my logic, that is the true definition of mia noi.

Western viewpoint. On the one hand, many of us Not far from where I live there is an attractive see the mia noi as being predominantly a rich man’s lady; I guess in her mid thirties; who lives alone in her privilege and thus an option unavailable to those men nice apartment. She does not work but I notice two without the funds to support two women. On the or three nights per week a very nice car pulls up and other hand, some have witnessed even poor farmers a well-dressed Thai man pays her a visit. He always having two wives and managing to juggle both with brings food or gifts. Sometimes they go out together,

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sometimes they stay in, but the guy never stays the whole night. With only this circumstantial evidence to go by, I will bet she is his mia noi. He probably has a wife somewhere who accepts that he ‘stays late at the office’ a couple of nights a week.

I also know a lady whose family comes from a very poor village in Isaan. A year or so ago there was trouble in the village because mama found out he had a mia noi. Now, I happen to know the old man and, truthfully, he doesn’t have a pot to p**s in. Any baht he does manage to get hold of goes to cheap Thai whisky or a game of cards with his few friends. This guy has massive problems supporting his own wife and could not possibly support a second one. I drew the conclusion, rightly or wrongly, his ‘mia noi’ was simply a lonely, desperate old widow who was probably giving him money rather than the other way round. In this case, she was not a mia noi in the strict sense but merely his ‘bit on the side’. He was definitely shown both doors once his dalliance became local knowledge.

I accept there are possibly many less affluent Thai husbands who have mia nois, but I think they are the exceptions rather than the rule. By my definition of a mia noi, i.e. a woman totally funded by the husband of another woman, it is beyond the financial scope of the poorer classes. These guys may have occasional one night stands or even long-term affairs, but as far as keeping another woman financially, I suspect it is beyond their means.

So what does all this mean to us – the farang – living in this wonderful country? I hate to disappoint my male readers but it means nothing. Without exception, every Thai lady with whom I have discussed the subject of mia nois has informed me that, whereas it may be culturally acceptable for a Thai man to indulge, it is out of the question for a farang husband. The old Thai double standard raises its head once again. I was told in no uncertain terms that if caught, my googlies would be cut off while I slept and fed to the ducks.

Ok, I’ve got the message.

But in all honesty, a man having an occasional one night stand is understandable but the idea of having multiple spouses should be left to Mormons and boyhood fantasies. I’ve decided that having two wives is just twice the trouble of having one. Instead of being told you are wrong by one woman, you are

now told by two! The mia noi knows you have a wife so you have her jealousy to put up with, and if your wife knows you have a mia noi, you cop it from both sides. (That is assuming you get away with it and are not forced to sleep on your stomach for the rest of your life.) On top of that you have to buy two birthday presents, two Valentine’s Day gifts and two Christmas presents. Give me a break!

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Hosing down the street Everything is fake, even the hose and water!

People avoid the hole.

Rafting Watch out!

The 3D aspect to his work came much later while he was working in Brussels , "I decided to get into 3D after seeing the effect of tiles being removed from the street and later trying to recreate the sense of depth in a drawing."

pavement Julian Picasso Beever Julian Beever is an English artist who's famous for his anamorphic art on the pavements of England , France , Germany , USA , Australia and Belgium

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Beever gives an amazing illusion to his drawings, so that the objects appear to be three dimensional rather than flat as they actually are.

Hard to believe that the little boy is standing flat on the pavement!

Julian admits that some people see his work as graffiti, and don't feel it has a place on public streets. Happily, he says, he mostly receives a positive reaction and people like and enjoy his art.

Did you spot tiny Julian Beever on the Top of the Bottle?

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The Next Train at Platform Eight r was A few days after Christmas, A mothe her son working in the kitchen listening to in the playing with his new electric train set p and her living room. She heard the train sto o want to son yell “All you sons of bitches wh e this is get off, get the hell off now, becaus hes that the last stop! All of you sons of bitc train are getting on, get your asses in the t in and cause were leaving”. The mother wen of language told her son, “we don’t use that kind into your in this house.” Now I want you to go e out, you room for two hours. When you com want to can play with your train, but I don’t hear any bad language. of his Two hours later, the son comes out n. trai room and continues playing with his

ther heard Soon the train stopped and the mo disemthe son say, “All passengers who are take to barking the train, please remember thank you all of your belongings with you. We r ride was for riding with us today and hope you with a pleasant one. We hope you will ride o are just us again soon. For those of you wh stow all of boarding the train, we ask that you remember your hand luggage under the seat, club car. We there is no smoking except on the xing journey hope you have a pleasant and rela with us today”. with “For those of you who are pi**ed off cow the two hour delay, please see the in the kitchen.”

Quick Crossword & Sudoku Answers

Silly Quiz Answers

1. A river 2. A hole 3. Once, then the number is 48.

4. There are eight children in the Rabbit family, 6 boys and 2 girls.

5. He can cook all the eggs in one pan in 3 minutes.

6. 5 minutes. Each horse can eat 1 bag in 5 minutes.

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Thai Dishes

Top

ten

We recently got hold of a book that claimed the following were the Top 10 Thai Dishes eaten by Farang, are your favourites amongst them?

Hot and Sour Soup with Shrimps Serves 4

1. Hot and sour soup with shrimp 2. Green curry with chicken 3. Fried Noodles 4. Pork fried in basil 5. Red curry with roast duck 6. Coconut soup with chicken 7. Thai style salad with beef 8. Satay pork 9. Fried chicken with cashew 10. Panang curry

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Ingredients 3 cups fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth 1/2 cup presliced mushrooms 1 tablespoon low-sodium soy sauce 1 (8-ounce) can sliced bamboo shoots, drained 2 1/2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice 1 teaspoon white pepper 1 1/2 pounds medium shrimp, peeled and deveined 8 ounces reduced-fat firm tofu, drained and cut into 1-inch cubes 1 tablespoon cornstarch 2 tablespoons water 1 large egg white, beaten 1/4 teaspoon chili oil 2 tablespoons chopped green onions Preparation Combine first 4 ingredients in a large saucepan; bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer 5 minutes.

Add juice, pepper, shrimp, and tofu to pan; bring to a boil. Cook 2 minutes or until shrimp are almost done. Combine cornstarch and water in a small bowl, stirring until smooth. Add cornstarch mixture to

Thai Dishes pan; cook 1 minute, stirring constantly with a whisk.

Slowly drizzle egg white into pan, stirring constantly.

Remove from heat; stir in chili oil and onions.

1 small red bell pepper, seeded and slivered 1/4 cup peanuts, chopped 1 lime, cut into wedges

Thai Green Curry with Chicken

Preparation Cover the noodles with warm water and soak for 30 to 45 minutes or until softened but not mushy. Drain and discard the water.

In a wok or large stockpot, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the garlic and stir-fry 15 seconds. Add the shrimp and stir-fry 2 to 3 minutes or just until pink and opaque. Add the tofu and toss until lightly coated with oil. Add the eggs and scramble.

Fold in the softened noodles, fish sauce, vinegar, 1/4 cup water, brown sugar, and paprika and toss for about 2 minutes or until well combined. Add the scallions and bean sprouts and heat through. Pile onto a large platter and garnish with the red pepper, peanuts, and wedges of lime.

Thai curries have an Indian spice blend, which makes them even more flavorsome. This happy Indian and Thai marriage may have been the result of Hindu and Buddhist religions spreading in to Thailand. The end result has been a culmination of grand flavors and divine tastes. Green curry paste can be used in the preparation of pork, chicken or seafood as well !

Fried Noodles Serves 6 Ingredients 1/2 pound dry rice noodles, preferably 1/4 inch wide 3 tablespoons canola oil 3 large garlic cloves, minced 1/2 pound cleaned and peeled shrimp, cut lengthwise in half 1 pound extra-firm tofu, cubed 2 large eggs, lightly beaten 1/4 cup fish sauce 1/4 cup rice vinegar 2 tablespoons brown sugar 2 teaspoons paprika 6 scallions, cut into 2-inch pieces 2 cups bean sprouts

Pork Fried with Basil Pork fried with basil is one of the most common dishes in Thailand. It’s usually served as a one-dish meal, a quick meal eaten over rice, and is usually topped with a fried egg. If you plan on making this as a dish to serve with others for a shared meal, double the recipe. Unfortunately, it’s hard to get Holy Basil outside of Thailand, so most restaurants in the West substitute with Thai Basil, which isn’t as good in this dish. Pad Ga-prao can be made with ground or sliced chicken, beef or pork using this same recipe.You can even use pre-fried tofu. Serve with a sliced chili in a bowl with a teaspoon of fish sauce.

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Thai Dishes Barbecued Beef Salad Thai Style Thai Barbecued Beef Salad is called “Yam Neua Yang” in Thai. It is a great beef dish that has a little bit of spicy and sour taste. It is a great dish to serve with rice. Some Thai also like to have the dish, when they are drinking.

Fried Noodles with Beef Serves 6

Coconut Soup with Chicken A rich, aromatic dinner soup, which is enjoyed throughout the meal. Whenever possible, fresh kaffir lime leaves should be used, and their flavor and aroma is increased when they are torn instead of cut with a knife.Young galangal is pale yellow, with firm unwrinkled pink shoots. Fresh young ginger can be substituted if necessary, but the flavor will not be quite the same.

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Ingredients 1/2 cup fresh lime juice 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro 2 tablespoons brown sugar 2 tablespoons Thai fish sauce 2 tablespoons chile paste with garlic 2 garlic cloves, minced 1 (1 1/2-pound) flank steak, trimmed Cooking spray 1 1/2 cups vertically sliced red onion 4 plum tomatoes, each cut into 6 wedges 6 cups torn romaine lettuce 1 1/4 cups thinly sliced English cucumber 2 tablespoons chopped fresh mint Preparation Prepare grill or broiler.

Combine first 6 ingredients, stirring until sugar dissolves; set half of lime mixture aside. Combine other half of lime mixture and steak in a large zip-top plastic bag; seal. Marinate in refrigerator 10 minutes, turning once. Remove steak from bag; discard marinade.

Place steak on grill rack or broiler pan coated with cooking spray; cook 6 minutes on each side or until desired degree of doneness. Let stand 5 minutes.

Cut steak diagonally across grain into thin slices.

Heat a large nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray over medium-high heat. Add onion; sauté 3 minutes. Add tomatoes; sauté 2 minutes. Place onion mixture, lettuce, cucumber, and mint in a large bowl; toss gently to combine. Divide salad evenly among 6 plates. Top each serving with 3 ounces steak; drizzle each serving with 1 tablespoon reserved lime mixture.

Panang Curry Panang Curry (sometimes written Penang Curry) is a dry curry which is fried in coconut milk, and not boiled. Panang uses the thicker part of the milk, or the cream only. It’s typically made with beef, although you can make it with pork or chicken as well. It is usually just meat, and is seasoned with sliced lime leaves and sometimes a few leaves of Thai basil.

t n a o e iti

t r e g p

m o C

Win

Tickets to see one of Rock’s Greatest,

Rod Stewart

with Pattaya Grapevine

With the release of Still the Same - Great Rock Classics of our Time, Rod Stewart returns to his roots and Pattaya Grapevine are delighted to be able to offer you the chance of winning two tickets to see him perform in Bangkok on March 2nd 2009.

Rod Stewart and his characteristically throaty, impressively expressive, and surprisingly versatile voice had been knocking around the London club scene with groups like Steampacket and Long John Baldry’s band before he connected with ace guitarist Jeff Beck in 1968.

Their collaborations in the Jeff Beck Group brought Stewart to the spotlight, but it was when Stewart joined forces with the greatest party band in rock history, the magnificent Faces, that he truly hit his stride.

For half-dozen years, Stewart went back and forth between recording and touring with the Faces and launching his own wildly successful solo career. After his first two albums on his own - 1969’s The Rod Stewart Album and 1970’s Gasoline Alley - revealed the range and artistry of a vocalist previously best known as a shouter, everything came together for Every Picture Tells a Story in 1971. Universally acknowledged as one of the greatest rock albums of all time, it includes Stewart’s soulful, commanding takes on folk, R&B, and blues material; the astonishing title track; and the international Number One smash, “Maggie May.”

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In the years that followed, Stewart solidified his standing as a superstar. “Tonight’s the Night” proved an even bigger hit than “Maggie May,” and while other rockers lost ground to a global outbreak of disco fever in 1978, Stewart simply responded with another Number One hit, the notorious “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy.”

Throughout the ‘80s and ‘90s, Rod Stewart remained a consistent presence on the charts including his intimate version of Van Morrison’s “Have I Told You Lately.” As the century turned, Stewart underwent throat surgery to remove a benign cancerous node, and also tackled some of his most ambitious material.

But no one would have predicted that the next move for this rock & roll icon would be an album titled It Had to Be You…The Great American Songbook, a collection devoted to the craft and elegance of songs like “The Way You Look Tonight” and “These Foolish Things.” Stewart maintained, however, that the project was actually a long time coming. “It wasn’t a sudden impulse or urge,” he said, “it’s something I’d been wanting to do for as far back as I can remember.”

And the more you think about it, the more logical a step it actually was. Rod Stewart has always been a remarkable interpretive singer - throughout his career, he’s recorded songs by the finest contemporary songwriters, from Bob Dylan to Curtis Mayfield, from John Lennon and Paul McCartney to Cat Stevens. Aside from that unique vocal tone, perhaps his greatest strength is his ability to put across a great set of lyrics clearly and directly.

If anyone still argued that this new iteration of Rod Stewart - complete with bow tie rakishly undone in the cover photo seemed at all far-fetched, the public immediately said otherwise.

It Had to Be You…The Great American Songbook entered the

charts at Number Four, Stewart’s highest perch in years, and went on to sell more than five million copies.

“The key to it all is trying to put my own stamp on these songs,” said Stewart, “because they have been done so many times—just not by someone who sang ‘Hot Legs’ and ‘Maggie May!’” In 2003, he released As Time Goes By… The Great American Songbook Volume II. This time, he entered the charts at Number Two. Duets with Cher and Queen Latifah helped expand his audience - which, judging from concert attendance, now included both the parents and the children of the baby boomers who grew up with Rod even further.

With 2004’s Stardust…The Great American Songbook Volume III, the “Songbook” series established itself as a truly historic phenomenon.

With Thanks for the Memory…The Great American Songbook Volume IV,

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his Great American Songbook series pushed Rod Stewart’s career into uncharted territory - he’s selling more records than ever and cultivating a new and growing audience in his fifth decade as a performer.

After Thanks for the Memory…The Great American Songbook Vol. IV, there was talk about recording a collection of soul classics. Clive Davis, however, came up with the idea of revisiting the rock songs that Stewart’sfans had grown up with. The triumphant result is STILL THE SAME…GREAT ROCK CLASSICS OF OUR TIME, on which Stewart takes all of the lessons learned from the “Songbooks” and applies them to the kind of songs he has always loved to sing – powerful, emotional, and heartfelt.

From brash pub-rocker to sophisticated balladeer, from soul man to folk troubadour to rock & roll shouter, Rod Stewart has been able to change sound and style over and over again. But one thing that’s never changed is the power of his singing. Four decades later, that truly is still the same.

Competition

Question

What day of the year does Rod celebrate his birthday?

To enter simply email your answer to competition@pattayatoday.net, drop your answers into our office on Sukhumvit Road or telephone our offices on 038 410 077 and leave your details and answer before February 20th 2009.

Winner will be notified on the 21st and published in next months Pattaya Grapevine.

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Pattaya

Grapevine

Winner of last months competition was Craig Wallace

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