Pattaya Grapevine Issue 7 August 2009

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Pattaya

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Grapevine Issue 07 - AUGUST 2009

where East meets West

Where are they now?

London

DIARY Battle

of the Bulge The Sanctuary

of Truth

CafÄ— des Amis COMPETITION

Thai

Lite

Fool A

in Paradise

New

Ladies Section

z i Qu

s e g Pa

Hi everyone, and welcome to the August edition of the Pattaya Grapevine. This month the magazine is jammed packed full of interesting articles to keep you amused, whilst enjoying a cool beer in the comfort of your air conditioning. Yes, although the temperature is dropping, it still seems much hotter than this time last year, and I for one, along with my dogs, Patches and Gizzy, are certainly feeling the heat and humidity. With our temperatures still around 35 degrees, I long for the cooler weather we experienced last year.

This month we have many new advertisers, please remember to mention that you saw their advert in the Grapevine when using their services, after all without their support, we could not bring you the magazine each month. And our thanks go out to the advertisers themselves, I do hope you see what a terrific response you receive from advertising in Pattaya Grapevine and continue to use us in the years to come.

This month one of the articles we are featuring is the launching of the new Toyota Camry Hybrid, Toyota’s first dabble into the Hybrid market, with a car that is manufactured in Thailand. No doubt, other car manufacturers will be looking closely at sales for the new Camry, which incidentally is approximately 100,000 baht cheaper than the old model, to see when is the best time to make their move into the greener vehicle market.

The ASEAN Summit, is under way again in Pattaya as I write this editor’s page, and so far, touch wood, everything seems to be going according to plan, with no demonstrations from the red, blue, yellow, green, pink, purple, black, etc, shirts, let’s hope it continues that way.

I am sure you will join me in hoping that the political problems, we know they will not go away, however, hopefully they will keep their demonstrations on a low key. With the presentation of a 5,000,000 signature petition, due to be presented to the King on the 15th, to try and get the former Prime Minister Thaksin, a Royal Pardon for his past indiscretions, I have a feeling things could escalate out of control again, especially as the government seem hell bent on stopping the petition being presented. I am sure the coming weeks will make for some interesting times!

Don’t forget to pick up your copy of our sister publication, Pattaya Today, which hits the newsstands each fortnight on the 1st and 15th of the month. It is packed with local news item, regular columnists, Property and Classified section, great value at only 25 baht per issue.

If you haven’t already, you really should check out our website at www.pattayatoday.net, we spend many hours each day updating our sections on local news, news from around Pattaya, news from around Thailand and we scour

the world’s media sites to bring you strange and interesting news items from around the world. In July our website hit the milestone of 1,750,000 hits for the month, I think you will agree with us, that is an incredible achievement.

Well that is all from me for this month and I look forward to writing for you again in our September edition.

Please remember to mention to advertisers, that you saw their advertisement in Pattaya Today.

Thank you to you, our readers, for taking the time out of your busy, or not so busy day, to read our publication, we are very proud of it.

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Then speak to the experts, Ph. Phil English 081-0044-971 Nittaya Thai 087-0656-929 Or email phil@pn-poolshop.com

So many people commented on the picture of our grandson in the June edition and asked if he could become a regular.

Here he is enjoying his new rubber ring in the pool at Great Grandma’s. Definitely turning out to be a water baby.

62 A Quick look around

The Sanctuary of Truth

contents Pattaya

Grapevine

50

TOP 10 Outrageously Expensive Items

08. Where Are They Now? 07. UK Pensions 16. Puzzle Mania 18. Amazing Thailand 14. Did you know?

26. Short Story 28. Local Hero 30. Growing Poinsettia 32. Lighter Side 20. London Diary 36. Thai Lite- The Nerdwell Guide to Shopping with women . A Fool in Paradise . Battle of the Bulge . CafĂŠ de Amis Competition . The New Toyota Camry Hybrid

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38 45

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When should you start claiming your Pension?

From April 2005, you can get extra State Pension worked out at 1% for every five weeks you put off claiming (this is equivalent to about 10.4% extra for every year you put off claiming).

Prior to April 2005 you got an extra 1% for every seven weeks you put off claiming (this is equivalent to about 7.5% for each year). If you choose this option, you will obviously not be paid State Pension for the weeks you put off claiming, as you will get a higher State Pension instead.

You must put off claiming your State Pension for at least five weeks to get extra State Pension.

A lump-sum payment You could get a one-off taxable lump-sum payment based on the amount of normal weekly State Pension you would have received, plus interest. You also receive your State Pension from when you claim it paid at the Normal rate.

You must put off claiming your State Pension for at least 12 months in a row to be able to choose a lump-sum payment.

The amount you get will depend on your circumstances. But someone putting off a full basic State Pension of £84.25 (from April

Pensions

2006) for five years could, at current prices and interest rates, get a lump sum of just over £25,700 or extra State Pension of nearly £44 a week for life.

Tax Allowance If you live in Thailand and have told the Tax people (which you should do), and are a non resident for tax purposes and only have the old age Pension and you are not getting your full tax allowance of £9750.00. You should be able to claim back any tax paid on your bank interest in the UK. This also applies if you have not reached pension age (I did this for 8 years until the O.A.P. took me over the limit).

If you have not told the UK government you are living here you could be liable to have to repay all the extra, with interest and penalties.

Do not forget OAP is a benefit not a right and is classed with social security.

Remember the UK has access to Amadeus the airline booking system also Pisces the anti terrorism database for all air travel which is now also in operation at Savarnabhumi Airport Bangkok. I am personally aware of a large number of expats whom the UK government have caught. They are watching. The policy is to note where you are and after the amount you have over claimed reaches £2K pounce.

They don’t do it immediately as they would look pretty stupid taking someone to court for a measly £50, however, £2,000 is a substantial and they look good, as they have discovered a serial fraudster. So be warned.

The Inland Revenue and Customs and excise now share a database and the Social security will have access to it, the days of claiming benefit you are not entitled to from the UK are numbered.

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Were are they now?

Tony Bennett Born Anthony Dominick Benedetto, on August 3, 1926, in Queens, New York. Bennett grew up in a poor family, in circumstances made more difficult by the Depression and by the death of his father when he was nine. While he attended the High School for the Industrial Arts in New York City, Bennett began working as a singing waiter. After serving in the Army infantry during World War II, he took advantage of the G.I. Bill and studied singing and acting at the American Theatre Wing. During this period his vocal coach Mimi Spear offered some advice that he took to heart: don’t imitate other singers, emulate instrumentalists instead.

The young singer was discovered by Pearl Bailey in Greenwich Village and subsequently hired

by Bob Hope in 1949. Hope advised him to take the name Tony Bennett (rather than the name he had been using, Joe Bari) and put him in his road show. Bennett told Billboard in 1997, “I’ve been on the road ever since.” He signed with Columbia Records in 1950 and started working with record producer Mitch Miller. His early hits included “Rags To Riches,” “Because of You,” and “Stranger in Paradise.” His most famous song, “I Left My Heart in San Francisco,” was released in 1962 as a B-side on a single; it also earned Bennett his first Grammy award.

Bennett’s success led to some artistic differences between the singer and his record company. His interest in singing quality material made him want to try new songs and new kinds of music. Columbia, however, wanted to repeat the style of his early hits.

For some time, Bennett and Miller compromised by each selecting one half of the material to be recorded.

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After 20 years of recording with Columbia, however, he was told not to do any new songs. Company management wanted Bennett to cover top ten hits.

Soon thereafter, Bennett ended his relationship with the company, formed his own label, and recorded on others. Bennett ended up taking a long hiatus from recording, staying away from the studios for some ten years before he made the 1986 album The Art of Excellence.

Bennett’s break from recording coincided with some difficult times for the singer. He moved to California in the late 1970s and began using cocaine and marijuana, drugs that were an integral part of the celebrity party scene. A near death experience passing out in the bath tub and the memory of Lenny Bruce’s drug-related death scared Bennett into changing his habits. Bennett was also struggling with a change in the public’s taste in popular music, with the increased dominance of rock and roll.

When he began his career, pop music appealed to all ages. Bennett asserts that young listeners were being taught that rock music belonged exclusively to their generation and that this alienated children from their parents.

Moreover, music marketing was so

friendships. Signing his name Anthony Benedetto, he began showing his paintings in 1977 and has since sold his work for as much as $40,000 a canvas. What My Heart Has Seen includes a number of portraits of famous people, as well as still-lifes, landscapes, and cityscapes that are dominated by scenes of New York and San Francisco.

To mark his 80th birthday in 2006, he released Tony Bennett: Duets - An American Classic, recorded with a collection of stars including Barbra Streisand, Elton John, Elvis Costello, Bono, and Sting.

focused on young listeners, that it was the squeezing adults who bought Bennett’s albums out of the record stores.

Bennett has weathered such troubles and completely revitalized his career. He credits his son Danny, who is now his manager, with making many key decisions. Danny put Bennett on television, on the animated series The Simpsons, on talk shows with David Letterman and Jay Leno, and on MTV Unplugged. The last appearance earned the singer a flock of young fans. He now has a recording contract with Columbia that allows him to simply turn in his finished record, with no corporate input on content.

Among Bennett’s later recordings are the Grammywinning MTV Unplugged; a series of tribute albums, Bennett/Berlin (Irving Berlin), Perfectly Frank (as in Sinatra), Tony Bennett on Holiday (Billy Holiday), Here’s to the Ladies (miscellaneous female singers); and the children’s album The Playground. These recordings demonstrate that Bennett still has plenty of ideas about the music he wants to sing, and that he is in fine form. With a half-century of professional singing under his belt, Bennett credits learning bel canto technique with preserving his voice; he told Billboard, “it teaches you how to breathe properly and how to sing so that you don’t push and you don’t destroy your voice.”

During the 1990s Bennett published two books that gave fans an inside look into his personal life and career. Tony Bennett: What My Heart Has Seen (1996) is a coffee table book of his paintings, exhibiting a very serious pastime for a man who once aspired to be a painter. His autobiography The Good Life (1998) details his childhood, singing career, personal life, and

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drive gets into the wrong hands it could be incredibly damaging to the computer owner. PC’s that are “breached” once disposed of can very easily lead to a nasty case of identity theft that is very hard to track - the offender may literally have access to every single bit of personal identity they need to effectively steal the former PC owners identity. For those of you who have never been a victim of identity theft, rest assured it’s not a very pleasant experience and can affect your credit for a very long time as the investigation is held and the details sorted out.

Computers crimes are everywhere these days, there are entire divisions of law enforcement teams devoted to working on crimes that, in one way or another are linked to the use of a computer.

The root of many of the crimes perpetrated through the use of a computer stem from the fact that the highly sensitive information present on many personal and business computers isn’t disposed of properly. You may not realize it, because it may not really seem like a big deal at the time, but you have tons of highly sensitive information stored on your personal hard drive - and if you operate a business you may have many other people’s (your customers) highly sensitive information on there as well.

You could have: full names, social security numbers, complete addresses, accounts numbers (including bank

and credit card).

If you are getting rid of an old hard drive, even though you think you may have gone through every step to properly ensure that this sensitive information has been erased, it could still be present for anyone with even basic knowledge of computers to bring back and have full view of. Even if you have a good deal of computer knowledge and you make every effort to wipe a hard drive clean, there is no guarantee that an experienced computer programmer or hacker couldn’t easily resurrect the sensitive information and do whatever they wanted with it.

Whether it’s a business or personal computer, if the sensitive information that is present on the hard

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For business computers the scenario can be equally as bad, a business customer’s private information can be made public. This can be damaging to the business’ customers by having their sensitive information go out to the public and it can cause a wide rift created by distrust towards the company who let the information get out. One situation like this that isn’t swiftly and efficiently handled can spell almost instant doom for a business.

It you don’t want the potential disaster of highly sensitive information getting into the wrong hands, then it’s imperative that the information be completely wiped away from the hard drive. The only one way to one guarantee that the information is completely destroyed is to use a hard disk crusher.

For a home PC, there are services available that you can enlist that will use the hard disk crusher on your system to remove all of the sensitive data before you dispose of the hard drive, or you can rent one from a service and perform the job yourself. For businesses who will be getting entirely new office equipment and have a multitude of machines that need to be “crushed”, there are companies that lease or sell hard drive crushers that you will then have access to forever, or as long as you may need it.

If things continue to go the way they are going, it may not be long before crimes stemming from information found on computer hard drives comprise the bulk of the crimes committed in the US. Don’t let yourself fall prey to this type of situation, before you dispose of any hard drive - use a hard disk crusher to clean all of the sensitive information off of it.

On the

A Blonde o

n a Plane

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He looked nt him onkey? Se dachshund a m rn a d t a that ugly, w t me closely. Then, “Where’s th me another leopard.” ri nkled, old, fat, bald, gray, decre bring p it hour ago to SOB asked did you tea , “What ch?”

Pattaya

Lighter Side

e p a c s E y A Luck

I’m not get

ting old

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Did You

Know The British royal family changed their surname (last name) from Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to Windsor in 1917.

Ravens are kept in the Tower of London because, according to myth, the British throne will come to a fall if the ravens leave the tower. The wings of the ravens are clipped to prevent them from flying away.

Traffic lights were used before the advent of the motorcar. In 1868, British railroad signal engineer J P Knight invented the first traffic light, a lantern with red and green signals. It was installed at the intersection of George and Bridge Streets in front of the British House of Commons to control the flow of horse buggies and pedestrians.

The smallest island in the world - according to the Guinness Book of Records - is Bishop Rock. It lies at the most south-westerly part of the United Kingdom.

It is one of 1040 islands around Britain and only has a lighthouse on it. In 1861, the British government set out the parameters for classifying an island. It was decided that if it was inhabited, the size was immaterial. However, if it was uninhabited, it had to be “the summer’s pasturage of at least one sheep” which is about two acres.

The Christmas cracker was invented in 1847 by Tom Smith, a baker of wedding cakes from Clerkenwell, London.

On a trip to Paris in 1840 Smith discovered the “bon-bon,” a sugared almond wrapped in a twist of

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paper. Back in London, his “new” sweets became quite popular. When he noticed that young men were buying them for their sweethearts he began to place love mottoes on small slips of paper inside the wrapping. In 1846, standing at his fireplace, the crackle of a log gave him the flash of inspiration for the cracker. After much experimentation (and burning hands and furniture), he got it right. He pasted small strips of saltpetre to two strips of thin card. As the cards were pulled away from each other, the friction created a crack and a spark. (The concept is still used today.) By 1947, Tom Smith’s cracking sweets were the fashion. They were first known as “Cosaques” after the cracking of the Cossack’s whips as they rode through Paris during the FrancoPrussian wars. The name stuck for about another decade before simply being known as Christmas crackers.

The cracker concept was hot and others were quick to copy Smith’s idea. The outer wrapper became the showcase in the fight for market share, with more varied and colourful designs. They were also being sold 12, sometimes 6, in a matching box. It forced Smith to head for the patent office to protect his design, and his company, called the Tom Smith Crackers.

By the 1880s, Smith’s company produced more than a hundred cracker designs. By 1900, Smith sold more than 13 million crackers. They were being used not just at Christmas, but at just about any festive occasion, including fairs and coronations.

During the 6th Century, it was customary to congratulate people who sneezed because it was thought that they were expelling evil from their bodies. During the great plague of Europe, the Pope passed a law to say “God bless you” to one who sneezed.

Judges’ robes were not always black. In fact, they used to be as colorful as predicted by the fashion of the day. However, to mourn the death of Queen Mary II in 1964, judges wore black robes... and never changed back to another color.

During a trip to Asia in the early 1800s, a German merchant - it is said - noticed that the nomadic Tartars softened their meat by keeping it under their saddles. The motion of the horse pounded the meat to bits. The Tartars would then scrape it together and season it for eating. The idea of pounded beef found its way back to the merchant’s home town of Hamburg where cooks broiled the meat and referred to it as it as Hamburg meat.

German immigrants introduced the recipe to the US. The term “hamburger” is believed to have appeared in 1834 on the menu from Delmonico’s restaurant in New York but there is no surviving recipe for the meal. The first mention in print of “Hamburg steak” was made in 1884 in the Boston Evening Journal The average lifespan of a cow is 7 years. The oldest cow ever recorded was Big Bertha. She reached 48 in 1993. She also holds the record for producing 39 calves.

He is handsome, tall, drives a fast car, has an unlimited expense account, and always gets the girl. That’s just the actor. The character he portrays also has a licence to kill.

James Bond debuted in Ian Fleming’s novel Casino Royale in 1953. The novel was adapted for television in 1954, featuring Barry Nelson as 007. The first Bond movie, Dr No, was released in 1962, starring Sean Connery. David Niven took the lead in a spoof version of Casino Royale in 1967; it is not recognized as part of the Bond franchise.

Since Dr No, the equivalent of half the world’s population have seen at least one Bond movie.

Chocolate is the number one foodstuff flavour in the world, beating vanilla and banana by 3-to-1 When Ferdinand Magellan led the first circumnavigation of earth in the 16th century, his 5 ships were about 33 metres (100 feet) long, and reached 10 knots. Today, cruise liners exceed 300m (1,000ft) in length and reach speeds in excess of 25 knots.

On average, people can hold their breath for about one minute. The world record is 21 minutes 29 seconds, by David Merlini.

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e l z z u P a i n a M Sudoku

Answers later in the magazine, good luck

16

Hope you enjoy the Crossword, answers later in the magazine Pattaya

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where East meets West

GREG’S KITCHEN

Pattaya’s most talked about Restaurant - Your first visit, won’t be your last

Sunday Specials Every Sunday we will be serving 4 choices of Traditional Sunday Roasts starting at 12 noon 260b

Roast Loin of Pork with Apple Sauce

260b

Traditional Roast Beef with Horseradish Sauce

260b

Chef Greg has more than 35 years experience in Hotels and Restaurants in the UK, offers Top Quality British, European and Thai Cuisine.

Greg’s Kitchen serves the freshest food possible using ingredients of the highest quality. We like to describe our menu as “full Flavoured”, and we are proud of the fact that Greg’s kitchen really defines the word quality with our food.

With every meal, every dish and every bite, you’ll taste two uncompromising ingredients, big bold flavours, generous portions and awesome quality.

Friday Special Half Roasted Chicken Don’t Miss this one!! with Stuffing 299b

All Day Breakfast

Voted Best in Pattaya

299b Norwegian Cod Fillet deep fried in the Chef’s crispy batter, Roast Leg of NZ Lamb served with homemade chips, peas, with Fresh Mint Sauce tartare sauce and bread and butter

2 Egg’s (any style), English Sausage, Bacon, Baked Beans, Tomatoes, Sauted Potatoes, English Tea or Fresh Coffee, Orange Juice, White or brown Toast

Daily Specials - Take-Away Available - Open 8.30am - 11.00pm 7 days a week

Greg’s Kitchen 2nd Road, Opposite Soi 6 - Telephone 081 254 3624 or 038 361 227

For full menu check our website at www.gregskitchennorthpattaya.com

fun activities.

Healthy recreational sports are fast filling up the Thailand events calendar.

Now in its fifth year, the Bhumibol Invitation International Mountain Bike is one example of the many popular sports events that attract both locals and overseas visitors to test their skills and enjoy a healthy pastime.

Mountain bikers and their families will gather at the starting line on the crest of the spectacular Bhumibol Dam for two days of races from 29 to 30 August.

This very scenic location provides a variety of race routes that will both challenge the semi-pro mountain bike racers and also please recreational riders.

It is really up to the participants as to how far they wish to push their bikes and bodies. If they want the thrill of dropping down steep slopes through jungle terrain, or the steady pace of a trail over rolling hills that border the reservoir, the organisers have a choice of categories to deliver the right experience.

Bhumibol Dam is located in Tak province, 426 km north of Bangkok. The race site, at the crest of the dam, is 60 km north of Tak provincial town, where most of the hotel accommodation is located.

Places to go

People to see Things to do August in Thailand is pretty slow on the festival front.

H.M. the Queen’s Birthday Celebrations Date : 12 August 2009 Venue : Nationwide An alms-giving ceremony in the morning is followed by a huge festival of music and culture at Sanam Luang in Bangkok to celebrate Her Majesty the Queen’s birthday. You can also appreciate the beauty of the decorations along Ratchadamnoen Avenue.

Bhumibol Dam Invitation International Mountain Bike Championship 2009 At Bhumibol Dam, Tak Province 29 - 30 AUGUST 2009 A biker’s dream event.

Thai Health Songkhla International Marathon Date : 30 August 2009 Venue : Songkhla, Thailand Including a Marathon, Half Marathon, Mini Half Marathon, Wheelchair Marathon and Jogging for Health event, the Songkhla International Marathon has a category for all ages and abilities. Some of the world’s most experienced runners take part in this event which offers the biggest marathon prize money in Thailand. The event begins and ends at the spectacular Songkhla Provincial Hall.

Every year mountain bikers gather at one of Thailand’s most scenic dams for a series of races and

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by Gerd Treuhaft Author of ‘Goodbye Yesterday’ Your Vegetarian Diet A VEGETARIAN diet can almost halve the risk of cancer, a study has found, with veggies being 45 percent less likely to get blood cancers such as leukaemia and nonHodgkin lymphoma. Stomach and bladder tumours were also significantly reduced. And they had a 12 per cent lower rate of all forms of disease.

Scientists followed more than 61,000 people, slightly over half meat eaters, for more than 12 years. Sara Hion, Health Information Director at Cancer Research UK, said “These results add to the evidence that what we eat affects our chances of developing cancer.”

More Health Problem DOCTORS are set to prescribe the drug ‘Statins’ which appears to cut the risk of heart attacks to one in four over 40’s. The cholesterol-lowering drug can reduce the danger by 30 per cent.

Statins also cut the risk of strokes by 19 percent and death rates by 12 per cent.

Critics fear it could turn healthy people into patients, however, the NHS believes it will benefit 15 million people with heart risk factors.

The benefits were revealed in a study of 70,000 patients led by Dr. Jasper Brugts in Holland. NHS risk assessment checks will be phased in over five years..

Unreported Arthritis RHEUMATOID arthritis is more widespread than first thought, a report by the National Audit Office says. It believes that 580,000 adults in England have the condition, against existing estimates of 400,000 . They also estimate that there are actually 26,000 new cases in England each year, not the 12,000 reported.

Anti- obesity pill cuts fat in days SCIENTISTS are working on an anti obesity pill that could reduce body fat in days. Tests on mice have shown that the potential wonder drug decreased body weight by a quarter within seven days. However, the researchers,

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whose findings are published in online journal, Nature Chemical Biology, said that more research was needed before the pill could be used on humans.

Poor sleep raises blood pressure MIDDLE-aged adults who get too little sleep are more likely to develop high blood pressure. A US study found that missing an average one hour of sleep a day, over five years, raised the risk of developing high blood pressure by 37 per cent. Adults need between seven and nine hours of sleep.

Going to the Cinema FILM audiences have hit a seven-year high as people seek cheaper fun during the credit crunch. Cinema admissions, for the first half of 2009, stand at 83,459,465 ticket sales, according to the Cinema Advertising Association. Anna Cremin, CAA spokesperson said. ”It’s terrific to see the success of cinema continue throughout 2009 as the UK flocks to the silver screen. It seems that even when money is tight, the UK is incredible dedicated to the cinema experience”.

Playing golf can make you deaf PLAYING too much golf can damage your hearing doctors have revealed. Researchers at the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital, found modern drivers make such a loud noise when hitting the ball that they can make players deaf.

Crunch hits UK tourist numbers THE NUMBER of visitors to the UK is down for the first times since the 9/11 attacks in 2001. Last year, visitors to Britain, fell 2.7 per cent from 2007 to 31.9 million say the Office for National Statistics. The economic crisis is being blamed.

Our ‘Third Age’ THE WORD retirement will become redundant as people enjoy their independence and financial freedom,

age experts forecast. The fact we are living longer and healthier lives means people will enter a ‘THIRD AGE’ rather than retiring from work and winding down when they turn 65. Psychologist Honey Langcaster-James explained that ‘retirement’ shouldn’t be used because it no longer reflect the reality of growing old for the over 50’s.

Instead the Third Age should be looked upon as the first time most people will have the independence, and money, to live the kind of life they want to, after decades spent juggling family and career demands, Due to longer life spans, people will now spend close to a third of their life in Third Age when they will be healthier and wealthier, than any generation before them, according to The Death of Retirement Report commissioned by Standard Life.

Pensioners will outnumber under 5’s PENSIONERS will outnumber the under fives worldwide for the first time within a decade. Improvements in health care, diet and lifestyle across the world have fuelled an unprecedented growth in the number of those aged 65 and older.

There are currently around 506 million over 65s, or seven per cent of the world population, under-fives account for about nine per cent, But falling fertility rates and increased longevity means by 2019 the trend will have reversed, say analysts at the US census department. By 2019, 1.9 million will turn 65 each month, compared with 870,000 people a month at the moment.

By 2040 the proportion of older people will have doubled to 14 per cent, according to the Ageing World report. The study warns an ageing population will push up pension and health care costs and it will also put pressure on housing and social services, and place children and grandchildren, under strain to provide practical and financial support.

Death caused by alcohol DEATHS caused by alcohol have soared by 40 percent in the last decade, a total of 7,341 people died last year because they drank too much, 2,500 more than in 1999.

The number of deaths among people aged 51 to 60 rose 50 percent, and the figure was up by a third in the 21 to 30 age group. The Tories blamed labour’s 24-hour drinking laws for fuelling the crisis Stay for dinner CHILDREN who eat dinner at the table with their parents are less likely to get into trouble when they are older. A report shows that they are less prone to drinking, smoking, taking drugs and getting into fights.

Family meals help children bond with adults, say researchers by the US’s University of Alabama. It added “Family meals may reduce problem behaviour by improving family communications which protect against depression, anger and other social problems.”

Coffee stops Alzheimer’s COFFEE stops Alzheimer’s was the headline of the ‘DAILY EXPRESS’, drinking two cups of coffee a day

reverses the effects of Alzheimer’s, ground-breaking research has revealed. Scientists say powerful evidence shows caffeine not only helps to stave off the disease but can even treat it, as it helps to sharpen memory.

With 500 new cases being diagnosed every day in the UK, and a global epidemic predicted by 2050, there is a desperate need for a cure.

Around 700,000 people in the UK suffer from dementia, 60 per cent of whom have Alzheimer’s. As the population ages, that number is set to rise to 1.4 million, within 30 years.

US Neuroscientist Dr. Gary Arendash, who led the research, said “The new findings provide evidence that caffeine could be a viable ‘treatment’ for established Alzheimer’s patients and not simply a protective strategy. That’s important, because caffeine is a safe drug for most people, it easily enters the brain and it appears to directly affect the disease process.”

Why men live longer MEN who marry younger women are more likely to live longer, according to population statistics. The study at Germany’s Max Planck Institute also found that men marrying older women are more likely to die early.

Men cut the risk of premature death by 11 per cent, if their wives are seven to nine years younger. The figure rises to 20 per cent for men who marry women between 15 and 17 years younger.

Scientists say the figures may be the result of natural selection, that only the healthiest, most successful, older men are able to attract younger mates. Another theory is that a younger woman will care for a man better and therefore he will live longer, said institute spokesman Sven Drefahl.

The results showed that women benefit from marrying a man of the same age.

Wives with husbands older or younger by between seven and nine years increase their chances of dying early by 20 per cent. This rises to 30 per cent if the age difference is close to 15 and 17 years.

On average in Europe, most men marry women around three years younger.

The average age to get married has risen steadily since the 1960s. The study examined deaths between 1990 and 2005 for the entire population of Denmark Couples turn into fatties GETTING married, or moving in together, can make you fat, according to research. Couples are twice as likely to become obese if they live together.

The study published by the journal OBESITY, also showed the risk of weight gain rises the longer people live together.

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Help save a life

I received an email this week from a friend asking if I would help her by forwarding it, like one of those irritating chain letters that we all love to hate, however, having read the contents, I understood the message she was trying to get across. I decided that the content was so important and relevant, I would share it with all of you, our valued readers, and maybe you can help save a life.

STROKE IDENTIFICATION During a recent BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics), she said she had just tripped over a stone because of her new shoes.

They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken, Ingrid went about enjoying herself for the rest of the afternoon.

Ingrid’s husband called later informing everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 pm Ingrid passed away). She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some sufferers don’t die, instead they end up in a helpless, hopeless condition.

It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

Sometimes the symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify, unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors tell us a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions: S *Ask the individual to SMILE. T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (i.e. It is sunny out today) R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS. If he or she has trouble with ANYONE of these tasks, call emergency services immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue NOTE: Another ‘sign’ of a stroke is: Ask the person to ‘stick’ out their tongue. If the tongue is ‘crooked’, if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE Thank God for the sense to remember the ‘3’ steps, STR . Read and Learn!

A cardiologist claims, if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.

Scientific truth or dieting urban legend?

Let’s take a look at the most common weight loss myths Real facts aren't always clear when it comes to losing weight and staying in shape. A common misconception is that as long as you exercise, and eat healthy, you will never gain weight. This is not always the case. As you get older, your metabolism slows down (around 40 years of age).

Unfortunately keeping the same eating and exercise habits from your younger days will result in a very different outcome.

Weight Loss Myths You don't really need to count calories Wrong! Counting calories is vital in any weight loss program. People always underestimate calories in food which leads to overeating.

Have your biggest meal for breakfast Not true! You don't have to eat a huge breakfast, or even as soon as you wake up, most people simply can't eat first thing in the morning. Eat within the first 3 hours of waking up and you'll avoid becoming extremely hungry later and over eating. Pace your meals.

Avoid snacking When thinking of snacking, many fatty foods spring to mind, obviously these should be avoided.

However, snacking is fine in moderation. You can eat as many times in the day as you like, as long as the calorie intake is under control.

Avoid fats Don't avoid fats completely, this will make you feel full. Cut out the fats from your diet and you'll experience hunger all day.

Just exercise - forget dieting Exercise just doesn't burn enough calories on its own. It's the combination of increased metabolism from exercise and more frequent smaller meals - combined with lower calorie intake.

Don’t weigh yourself - you'll lose motivation!

Weighing yourself is important to track progress, measure your weight at least once a week to make sure your new weight loss plan is working.

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Short Story

a p a n g n u

R

n e d i a Star M

In January, 1930, a daughter was born to a poor Thai-Chinese family in a village near Nong Khai. From the offset, the mother was aware her daughter was extraordinary. Her eyes had a glittering, magnetic translucency, with a depth unlike anything the woman had ever seen in a new born. Dragon’s eyes, her mother, Lek, innocently called them, not realising they signified charisma and great inner power. Her parents decided to name her Rungnapa because of the highly unusual, rainbow-like, iridescent tone to her skin.

Lek’s intuition was confirmed when, in the second month, the baby was found levitating, but asleep, three feet above her cot; a feat she maintained throughout her life. Added to this, she had a blue luminescence surrounding her body. Not surprisingly, Rungnapa, was an infant prodigy. This became apparent when she started to walk at eight months and to talk two months later. Over the next three years, she developed bilingualism; everyone recognised the Thai, but the other language, at first appearing to be complete gibberish, was only identified five years later. A professor of archaic languages, passing through Nong Khai, en route to Laos, and while in a local restaurant, overheard Rungnapa conducting a one-way conversation, in what the astounded academic recognised as an obsolete, ancient Egyptian dialect.

Shortly after, Rungnapa began to develop both an incredibly inventive imagination, coupled with an astounding artistic skill, but she only drew hideous creatures, one of which the girl called Yog-Sothoth of the Cthulhu; best confined to the worst nightmares. As her graphic

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e r i a n i d r o Extra

skills rapidly improved, these creatures became increasingly more detailed and even more nightmarish: huge, malevolent, red-eyed, white, shaggy-haired monsters, with amazingly sharp, elongated teeth, frequently appearing against a backdrop of snow and ice; all the more astonishing as neither she nor any of her relatives had ever experienced such environments. Rungnapa maintained she’d encountered them while dream wandering. These creature-depictions then began to take the form of dinosaur-like creatures, plesiosaurs, and pteranodons, with leathery skin, fearsome talons and 20-foot wingspans; likewise astonishing, seeing the majority of Thais, then, were completely ignorant of such prehistoric creatures.

The Thais, however, weren’t ignorant of monstrous dragon fish, the legendary Naka, which they firmly believe inhabits the depths of the Mekong River. Towards her twelfth year, Rungnapa was prone to wander alone on the banks of the Mekong. One day, she was observed by a villager crouching on the river bank, uttering a low-pitched, ululating cry, at which point the head of a Naka, easily recognisable from stylized depictions, was seen to emerge from the aquatic depths, staying on the surface for 10 minutes and just as quickly vanishing.

Not long after, Rungnapa started to go into four-day trances. Her mother, Lek, was initially very concerned about these, especially when poltergeist-like rappings began to be heard around the house! When she regained consciousness, she told her astounded mother she had gone through a quantum wormhole to a parallel universe,

Short Story travelling back some 850,000 years in time to a vast continent of giants, which she called Daitya, the original High Atlantis.

Inevitably, her mother was understandably highly skeptical, until Rungnapa started drawing what even today would be incredibly futuristic crystal cities with huge pyramids and gleaming towers, unlike anything she could have ever imagined. Rungnapa, when informed about the rappings, told her mother it was her spirit guardians showing they were looking after her. She also kept Lek totally enthralled with her accounts of the timetravel and the tales of a war between white and black magicians in Atlantis, who were using mega-crystal power, focussed through the pyramids, and some highly advanced form of laser to battle each other.

On the next time-travel, which she undertook one month later, Rungnapa maintained she had gone back countless millions of years to the time of the dinosaurs and a very primitive, gigantic ape-like man, that was over 200 foot tall and ethereal, seemingly appearing and disappearing at will. When she returned, Rungnapa appeared to have developed the capacity be able to ‘bring through’ denizens of this era, which she demonstrated soon after. Again emitting a low-pitched, ululating cry, similar to that used to summon the Naka, the girl was seen to conjure up a pterodactyl-like beast from out of a cloud, which alighted at her feet, much to the total astonishment of local observers, before disappearing into thin air. Needless to say, she soon drew an avid coterie of admirers, for whom she would perform similar astounding feats, including making gigantic crocodiles and other monstrous, 13-metre Ichthyosaurs materialize from the Mekong’s legendary depths, along with summonsing glowing golden balls of light, which suddenly transformed themselves into Buddhist saints, floating above the transfixed watchers; all of which vanished just as miraculously as before.

For her next adventure, not satisfied with the humble Earth, Rungnapa switched dimension to space- travel, journeying in astral form to the Andromeda galaxy, where she encountered luminous star beings who

recounted how they had aeons before not only helped seed the Earth with humanity, but were due very soon, in the 21st century, in fact, to return to save it from impending cataclysm.

They welcomed her as the reincarnation of a great star maiden, who had been reborn on Earth after many incarnations on one of the planets of one of the suns of the Andromeda galaxy.

This she recounted with great joy, saying how they had also transformed her so that now she could telepathise, which she proceeded to do to the complete astonishment of her parents, transmitting messages soundlessly through the ether to them and correctly reading their thoughts.

It may have been that the stress of travelling in quantum space-time and in astral form to Andromeda, but she died soon after returning to Earth, to the great tribulation of her family.

When they dug her up twenty years later, to replant her, Chinese-fashion, Rungnapa’s body was found to be completely unchanged from the day she died; truly an immaculate star maiden.

p & n pools

The Antics of Tom Gathercole Continued from our last edition, if you missed it you can collect a copy from the Pattaya Today Offices

A Tale of Derring Do Ingenious Enterprise 2

&

Tom, you may remember from the last issue, was still doing his National Service with the RAF. He had managed to get into flying by a roundabout route, having first dealt with unexploded bombs.

Now it was out to the Malayan jungles, along with 13 crated-up Spitfires (Spits), their airframes and engines, which the mechanics had to assemble before fighting the communist guerrillas, Vietnam style.

Now Spits were somewhat old by this time, having saved Britain from the Luftwaffe during the Second World War, but they were the only planes that noncommissioned officers could fly, jets being reserved for officers. Tom, by this time, was a flight sergeant, but he didn’t resent only being able to fly Spits because jets, like the Meteor and Vampire, were still being developed and were totally unsuitable for aerial jungle warfare, being too heavy on fuel and unmanoeuvrable, apart from the only being able to stay in the air for one hour at a time.

Spits, on the other hand, were simply perfect, being capable of tight aerobatics, easily recovering from spins and sufficiently slow to be able to actually attack the wily insurgents, who had a crafty habit of hiding in the jungle at the slightest opportunity. The Spits had been completely revamped, from those used in the war, with tree-green camouflage and smoked glass cockpits, supercharged Griffin engines, capable of 400mph, twin contra-flow props and ran on 100 octane fuel, plus the fact, Tom says, if you can ride a bicycle, then you can fly Spits.

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Now, the Brits have always had the reputation of being brave amateurs, doing things on an ad hoc basis and this time was no different. Only flying Chipmunks and Bulldogs doesn’t exactly equip you to face dogfights against Russian Migs or to strafe insurgents, though, so the first thing Tom had to do was to learn the capabilities of the Spits and to practise gunnery. This is when he first came into everyday personal contact with the officer class, mainly Flight Lieutenants, who were arrogant, contemptuous and as thick as two short planks. In Tom’s words “the most dangerous thing in the world is an officer with a map”, not that there were too many maps of the jungle, you understand, and the officers were confined to training on jets, so Tom was effectively left to his own devices. He picked up the art of flying Spits in aerial combat very quickly, however, which he put to effective use shooting down Mig 15s.

Tom was tasked to provide aerial protection for the Australian troops working through the jungles. They couldn’t read the jungle themselves, so they had Malayan guides, who would throw smoke grenades when they spotted the insurgents. A flight of three planes would then dive in tandem to attack the insurgents in river boats, or on the roads in trucks.

Armed with 2,500 rounds of .303 and 250 rounds of cannon shells, which gave them approximately 2 minutes of fire power, one would initially break off and wrack the trucks with cannon-fire. Then, as the insurgents leapt out of the trucks and tried to

sprint into the roadside bushes, the other two planes would swoop in at 200mph down the valley bottom at treetop level and machine gun them before they reached safety. It was like a turkey shoot, but Tom didn’t think too much about the killing because it was too abstract and impersonal.

All they really had to watch out for was cunning snipers on the viaducts, who, having watched their previous mad flying sessions, would lie in wait and take pot-shots at the pilots brazenly flying under the supports. This wasn’t exactly standard flying practice, but Tom and his fellow airmen were young and audacious and took many unnecessary risks. One of the pilots even used to fly with a pig in the seat behind him. Tom was lucky and was only shot once in the leg and lived to tell the tale.

Their tour of duty eventually over, Tom and his mates took leave in Bangkok for two days, during which time they were constantly drunk, perpetually involved in fights and sh*gged themselves stupid.

They were then sent home by ship. When he got back to the UK, he was like a fish out of water. He still couldn’t fly jets, not being an officer, and was put to work defusing unexploded bombs in the Midlands and off the coast, until the Army took over.

Soon after his demob, Tom married his wife Betty, a nurse. Civvie life took some getting used to, but conveniently there were still quite a few American air-bases in the UK, a couple of which he worked at, eventually becoming a bar manager, after which he became a digger-operator, handyman and painter, a forte he gained in the RAF where he learnt ‘if it moves salute it, if it doesn’t, paint it’.

He and his wife came to Thailand on holiday, ostensibly to keep an eye on his wayward son who had married a Thai wife. They soon retired here and he spends his time making significant contacts, like police chiefs, who regularly extricate him from dicey situations, like when he beat up three Thai bandits single-handedly who tried to mug him.

The rest of his time he avoids the surveillance of his wife and daughter attempting to stop him sneaking off.

Bangkok shortly after the war, could they have foreseen the changes to come?

Next, they wanted to put Tom in the RAF Regiment, which he really didn’t want, so they allowed him to fly air-sea rescue missions, as one of the support crew, hoisting sailors from the decks of burning vessels.

Occasionally, a generous Flight Officer would let him fly, but he said you needed six hands to fly a helicopter. By this time, Tom was a warrant officer, which is as high as he could go, so he took the money and ran.

Some of his friends have had outrageous experiences here, like the guy who was one of the five serial-lovers of a Thai woman, all of whom she successfully persuaded to buy the same plot of land for Bt1 million a time.

Tom and his wife are extremely happy here and are content to spend the rest of their days in the sun and partaking of the beaches.

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Poinsettia If by now you have managed to keep your poinsettia alive, now is the final time to take cuttings.

Cuttings should be taken from the tip growth of the mother plant with three or four eyes, severing them at a slight angle. Now the next stage is recommended but I must admit that when I took my cuttings, I never bothered with the rooting hormone and I have been successful so this step is up to you. Dip each one in a rooting hormone and plant them in 2 1/2-inch pots filled with sand or a combination of sand and peat moss.

at night. Mother Nature’s signal for poinsettias to begin flowering is short days and long nights.

You must duplicate this environment for both the cuttings and the mother plant, by providing full daylight during the daytime hours and complete darkness at night. This means not even a lamp should be turned on after the sun goes down. During this period, temperatures of 68 to 72 degrees should be maintained. The plants will not tolerate sudden temperature changes.

Take care when watering your new cuttings, too much water will result in the plant drowning with the stem turning brown and going to mush, I found that for the first couple of weeks constantly spraying the plant all over gave good results. Do not place your cuttings in direct sunlight as they will die, but do place them in an area of good light. Once they have taken root and have filled the pot with a complete root system, you can report two of three of them into a four to six-inch pots.

If by December you have taken proper care of your poinsettia plant, it may begin to flower.

Watch the watering and humidity and enjoy the striking flowers during the holidays and into the New Year. The plants started from cuttings should also come into bloom and should be treated in the same manner as the mother plant.

Come September you will need to feed your new plants. Feed them every two or three weeks with a low nitrogen, bud-setting type of fertilizer. Keep in a bright, sunny location but not in direct sunshine.

October and November- This is the critical time for setting flower buds; the key is total darkness

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Mealy bugs and aphids are occasional insect pests. If either appears on your plant, simply dust or spray with an all-purpose houseplant insecticide.

The Truth about Lif

e

A little girl asked her mo ther, “How did the human race appear?”

The mother answered, “G od made Adam and Eve and they had children , and so was all mankind made..”

Two days later the girl as ked her father the same question.. The fathe r answered, “Many years ago there were mo nkeys from which the human race evolved.”

The confused girl returne d to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it po ssible that you told me the human race was create d by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?”

The mother answered, “W ell, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”

On the Lighter Side

Life is Greener

Having a Bad Day

A guy came into a bar on e day and said to the barman, “Give me six do uble vodka.”

The barman says, “Wow ! you must have had one really bad day.”

“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”

The next day the same gu y came into the bar and asked for the same dr inks.

When the bartender aske d what the problem was today the answer ca me back, “I’ve just found out that my younge r brother is gay too!”

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six doub le vodkas.

The bartender said, “WOW ! Doesn’t anybody in your family like wome n?”

“Yeah, my wife...”

looked at his After being married 25 years, a man years ago wife one day and said, “You know, 25 a cheap car, we lived in a cheap apartment, drove black and had only a sofa bed and watched a 14” got to sleep white television. BUT, every night I with a hot 25 year old blonde.” e house, Husb and always insisted on ma “Now,” he continued, “We have a nic king love in the to e hav I but , TV een -scr dark. a new car, a big flat sn’t seem After 20 years wife turns on the sleep with a 50 year old woman. It doe light, finds him holding a vibrator. fair.”

She goes ballistic, “You His wife was a reasonable woman. She impotent bas*ard! How get and out go could you lie to me all the replied, “Well, why don’t you se years?” n I’ll Husband looks her straig yourself a hot 25 year old blonde? The ht in the eyes & calmly a cheap says, “I’ll explain the toy make sure you will once again live in , you explain the ya kids.....” apartment, drive a cheap car, have onl white sofa bed and watch a 14” black and television.”

The man rethought his priorities.

Boys and Toys

t g Ticke The Sputethee83dyeain r old woman who talked

Did you hear abo ing the young herself out of a speeding ticket by tell she forgot officer that she had to get there before where she was going?

Bite The Sninatheke woods when one is

Two campers are hiking . “I’ll go into bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake runs ten miles to town for a doctor,” the other says. He y doctor, who is a small town and finds the town’s onl doctor says. ‘But delivering a baby. “I can’t leave,” the little X where the here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a on the ground.” bite is, suck out the poison and spit it o is in agony.

The guy ruins back to his friend, wh asks. “He says ‘What did the doctor say?” the victim you’re gonna die.”

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PET HOT...restaurant on the move Pub & Restaurant

Welcome to a new dining experience

At the end of the day - It’s all about Quality!

Nestled between the mountains of Sattahip and Ban Chang, in the heart of the countryside, is a dining experience not to be missed.

The Scandinavian patrons , have more than 30 years experience in the leisure industry, a fact that is readily believed by their many returning customers, accustomed to the finest dining, in beautiful surroundings, at prices that are hard to beat.

Whether you decide to pop into the restaurant and pub on your next visit into the countryside, or as an ideal meeting place after a day of golf, it is very close to the Eastern Star and Plutaluang Navy courses, you are always assured of a warm welcome.

The alfresco restaurant offers a wide range of European and Thai Cuisine, something for everyone.

The owners pride themselves on serving the very best quality Danish and Scandinavian Cuisine prepared daily with locally grown fresh produce. So wether you decide to have a drink at the new extended bar, or enjoy a meal from their larger, improved kitchen, with in house bakery, you are always assured of a warm and friendly welcome.

PET HOT Moo 6, 332 Rd, Bangsaray, 5 Km Sattahip, Chonburi 20250 Tel: 083-1383823, 085-9230190 332 E-mail: pethot2@gmail.com Pattaya Web: www.pethot.info

Rayong Ban Chang

Sattahip

Kitchen open from 10.30am until 10.00pm Bar till late

Toyota launches new

Camry Hybrid

The long anticipated Toyota Camry Hybrid has finally made it onto the local market in Thailand, the new breed of car is being produced at the Gateway plant in Chachoengsao province.

The previous Toyota Camry was a good looking car, however, the most startling thing about the new model is the price we will be able to pick one up for. The top of the range model is a staggering 100,000 baht cheaper than its old equivalent. Other models, including the HV AVX DVD and the HV 6 CD, are around 90,000 and 70,000 baht cheaper respectively.

What this all boils down to is that if you had purchased a new Toyota from your local dealership around a month ago, the vehicle you will have taken possession of, will have set you back around 100,000 baht more and will not have some of the cutting edge technology available in the new model. We are sure that anyone who purchased one of these vehicles recently is going to be very vexed, however, the local dealers are telling us that these are introductory offers, and that the price may rise in the not too distant future.

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Anyone who was thinking of purchasing a Honda Accord or Nissan Teana in the near future will have to take a much closer look at their decision. With the new Toyota Camry, not only will you be getting a cheaper car, you will also Pattaya

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be taking advantage of the latest technology, which Toyota claims will save you around 30% on your fuel costs.

You may well ask yourself how Toyota has managed to cut the price of the new models so drastically. Under the Japan-Thailand Economic Partnership Agreement (JTEP), the Toyota Camry enjoys certain tax privileges, as well as extra privileges from the Excise Department for environmentally friendly vehicles, Excise duty on the new models has been slashed from 30% to only 10%. There is also good news when it comes to maintenance, depending upon the spare parts you require, under the JTEP agreement, you will receive a minimum of 5% reduction for the next four years, until JTEP meet for further rounds of negotiations.

Toyota are very confident that they are really going to hurt their competition. The company has stated that it expects to sell around 900 of the new units in the remainder of this year; this is in addition to the 400 units of the older model sold earlier this year. When Toyota launched the new models, they already had around 1,000 models on order. No doubt the competition are going to keep a very close eye on the sales of the New Camry over the coming months, to see how they get on in the present economic situation.

Honda Automobile Thailand President, Khun Atsushi Fujimoto, stated that his company

Mob. 0847 233 275 Off. 038 40 66 11

would be interested in seeing how sales progressed, in order for them to best plan the launch, and type of Hybrid vehicles, they will make available in Thailand.

SCANDIC PROPERTY

info@scandicproperty.com www.scandicproperty.com

At a recent press conference the management of Toyota claimed that they had no plans to export the vehicle, however, I am sure that if the success of the new models continues in Thailand, it will only be a question of time before they start to send them abroad.

Will the new Hybrid technology make it into the rest of the Toyota range? Toyota President, Khun Kyoichi Tanada, explained that he wants to see the public’s reaction to the Camry before they start looking at including the new technology into other models. So it would seem that a great deal of responsibility rests on the shoulders, or should we say bumpers, of the new Camry range.

Toyota specification claims that the new vehicles are around 40-50% more efficient in city traffic, and up to 20% more efficient on the motorways. For our traffic-clogged streets, the Toyota Camry is a God send, as it will shut off its engine at each set of traffic lights. Other Hybrid vehicles have found their way onto the streets of Thailand, albeit through the backdoor, however, the import duty on such vehicles has made them almost unique.

Before you get carried away with the new Toyota Camry, it is worth baring in mind that the Hybrid is not the end-all of fuel saving technology, other small cars, including the Honda Jazz and Proton Savvy, are both really great when it comes to fuel economy, and they are fantastic cars to drive around our cities.

It is hoped that the new Camry Hybrid is a great success throughout the kingdom, paving the way for other manufacturers to follow suit and offer more fuel efficient cars. It is also, ‘one in the eye’, for all of those manufacturing big wigs, many of them from Toyota, who claimed it would not be cost effective to build a Hybrid vehicle in Thailand. Hopefully this is the first step in making our cities a little greener.

New built shop and townhouse in Thai-bali style Ready to move in july 2009 20% Discount available Price start at 2.96 million Na Jomtien 350 meter from the beach

Pattaya Driving Range Bar

Pattaya Third Road, close to North Pattaya

Official re-opening

under New Management

Many of you will know Gary Haines so why not pop into see him when he opens his new bar

Throughout August

Pool Tournament

Each day we will be holding a SINGLES Pool Tournament at 3.00pm.

Why not try your luck and win some prizes?

The Nerdwell Guide to Shopping with Women The other day, my friend Fardley Nerdwell made an odd boast. “I know how to shop with women,” he claimed.

y

B Written

S. Tsow

This

surprised me.

Fardley and I had agreed long ago that going shopping with a woman was, for a man, the quickest way to insanity and financial ruination.

It was an activity to be avoided under all circumstances. And now he was bragging that he knew how to do it! The ensuing dialogue went like this: Me: Isn’t that a little like saying you know how to commit suicide?

Fardley: Hear me out.

Under most circumstances, the skillful and discerning male will know how to weasel his way out of going shopping with his woman.

Employing all his artful wiles, he will plead a headache, or some other indisposition, or a previous engagement so vital that that his life will be

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destroyed if he does not fulfil it— an appointment with the prime minister, perhaps, or the pope, or God. But sometimes the woman, who in matters of spending money is always craftier than the man, will outmanoeuvre him. He may wriggle and writhe, twist and turn, weasel and dodge, but will be unable to escape the awful fate she is determined to inflict upon him. Soon the mighty battlements of the dreaded megamall will loom up before him like the portals of doom.

In such cases, the canny male will protect himself from unwanted depredations on his wallet by observing a few simple rules.

Me: Like what?

Fardley: Rule #1: If she expresses interest in an expensive item, fabricate whatever excuse you can to avoid buying it.

For example, Noy and I were passing through the bathing suit section of a major shopping mall. A mannequin with a frizzy hairdo was modelling a bikini whose price, even with the advertised discount, would quickly reduce me to penury. “Oh, this bikini is so beautiful!” Noy exclaimed. “You buy it for me, na?”

“It can’t be any good, Noy,” I objected. “Look at the ugly hairdo on the mannequin.”

Noy’s face fell. “I buying bikini, not mannequin,” she said.

“That bikini can’t possibly be any good if a woman with an ugly hairdo like that would buy it,” I assured her. “If she’s stupid enough to get a hairdo like that, her taste in bikinis is bound to be atrocious.”

Noy agreed that I had a point, and I swiftly guided her to the men’s sports section, where the danger of her wanting to buy anything was considerably reduced.

Me: Very clever. I’m impressed.

Fardley: Another example: Noy wanted to buy an expensive dress. I said, “Oh, that’s a nice dress. I saw a fat woman wearing one just like it yesterday. In fact, I’ve seen several fat women wearing that exact same design. Yes, indeed.

And some of them had dark skin. I guess fat, dark-skinned women like that kind of dress.”

Instant loss of interest from Noy. If there are two things the average Thai woman fears, it’s being fat and having dark skin.

Me: You sly devil, Fardley! You really

understand the Thai female mind.

Fardley: Thank you. Rule #2: Always point her to the cheapest model, but never let her know that you know it’s the cheapest. Women hate to buy anything cheap. They always go for the expensive stuff.

So if she’s comparing two handbags and wants to know which one you think is best, never ask, “Which one is cheapest?” Instead, surreptitiously check the price tags while pretending to inspect the handbags, and suggest that the cheaper one excels the other one by far in terms of looks, utility, and craftsmanship. You might also remark that you’ve seen photos of movie stars and supermodels carrying the exact same handbag.

Don’t even mention the price.

Me: That might work if she doesn’t catch you checking the price tags beforehand.

Fardley: Rule #3: Diss the discounts. No Thai woman can resist a discount. The bigger the discount, the greater the certainty that she will buy the item even if she has a hundred better ones already in her closet.

So suppose she comes across an expensive face cream, accompanied by a big sign screaming “80% Discount!” Have her figure out the net price including the discount, then smile wisely and say, “Ah, yes. Why, just the other day, I was in here, and the price for this very face cream was the exactly the same as it is now with the discount.

They’re cheating you, Noy. They’re not giving you any discount at all.”

If you can get away with this, and especially if you can convince her that all discounts are spurious, you will have scored a significant and enduring victory in the shopping wars.

Me: That would be a victory, all right.

Fardley: Finally, there is one way to make sure that she will never take you shopping again.

Don’t shave for three days, and wear your oldest and most ragged clothes—scruffy shorts, smelly old T-shirt, broken-down sandals. Then lead her to the section that sells bras. Find the bras with the biggest cups available, and test them all out by going down the line and squeezing each pair of cups in turn, squealing in your loudest voice each time, “Boop-boop!” She may give you hell for making her lose face in front of all the other customers and the salesgirls, but she’ll never take you shopping again. If she suggests it, just say, “Oh, good, I want to check the bra section again.

I’ll wear my shopping clothes.” That will stop her cold.

Me: Fardley, you really are a genius.

S. Tsow can be flamed at s.tsow@ymail.com, except when he’s testing the cups on the bras in department stores. Boop-boop!

Fool A

in Paradise

In Thailand, the antics of some foreign men in their liaison with Thai girls brings tears of laughter to my eyes. Most interactions merely result in the farang losing a little money and a little pride. Other bouts result in the loss of a substantial amount of money but, in most cases, this is not terminal. Sometimes, however, the foreign male unwittingly becomes the pawn in a much more dangerous game.

Andy is a soldier, a British soldier, and as such is trained to handle dangerous situations. The trouble is, how do you handle danger when it comes in such a beautiful package? He was stationed in Brunei which meant he had little trouble getting to Thailand each time he had time off. As a single male, he found the delights of Pattaya a welcome break from his stressful life in the army. He was yet to discover there is a price to pay for the easy life and although some men get away with it for a while, even years, eventually it will be time to pay the piper.

One fateful night in Walking Street, Andy met Lek, a 21-year-old Go Go dancer from Udon Thani, putting an end to his carefree wandering days. Over the next twelve months, he managed eight trips to Thailand and stayed with Lek on each occasion.

Andy admitted having a great time with Lek and never having cause to suspect something going on behind the scenes. For this reason, when the ‘M word’ came up in conversation, he could see no reason not to take the plunge into marriage. In fact, being a married man in the British army attracted some extra benefits. On a subsequent trip to her village, Mama mentioned a ‘bride fee’ of only 10,000 baht and Andy handed over the loot.

The ceremony took place on his next trip to the village. Andy paid for the ceremony, the party, gifts – everything – and it was a joyous day for all concerned. Unfortunately, Andy was now stationed back in the UK and had to fly home a few days later.

While in the UK, he went through the process of trying to obtain a visa for Lek to come and visit him.

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y r o t S s ’ y And

On his first try, the visa application was rejected. He decided on a different tack and found an agent in Thailand who said he could get the visa for 25,000 baht. He sent the money and all the documentation required to Lek. Andy flew back to Pattaya and asked Lek how her visa application went. She said she did not apply because, when the time came, she had no money left.

“What about the 25,000 baht I sent you?”

She said she had been sick and the money was needed to pay hospital bills. Andy did not believe that for a second but there was nothing he could do about it. This was, however, the first time he sensed that all was not well in the relationship. He returned to the UK and came back to Pattaya in December.

New Year’s Eve came but Lek said she could not spend it with him because she had to visit her Aunty.

She did not return to the room until 5:00am. That was the last straw for Andy. He knew she was lying about where she had been and he was sick of being treated like an idiot. That evening in their room, he confronted her and an argument ensued. She began to cry which, at this late stage, had no effect on him.

The following day they had planned to drive up to her village but Lek cried that she did not want to go. Andy argued that they would go because he had already paid for a rental car to be picked up early in the morning. Lek insisted they not go. Then she dropped the bombshell.

With tears streaming down her cheeks, Lek’s confession left him stunned. She said that a plan was

in play that once they were on an isolated stretch of road about two hours from her village, a Thai man would be waiting along side the road. Lek would tell Andy to stop and pick him up because she knew him and he lived close to her home. At a pre-selected spot, the man, who would be sitting in the back seat behind Andy, would produce a weapon (she did not know whether it would be a gun or a knife) and make Andy pull over with the intention of robbing him. Once outside the vehicle, the guy was going to kill Andy and make a prearranged escape.

Once the police arrived on the scene, Lek was to put on the performance of her life by saying that a stranger approached their car and tried to rob them.

Andy put up a struggle and was killed by the robber.

Her description of the assailant was to be so broad as to fit any number of Thai men. She confessed that the whole plan was devised by her parents who had coached her in every aspect.

The motive, of course, was money. Her parents believed, because Lek was his legal wife, she would inherit everything in the event of his death. It is impossible to say at what point the plan was hatched.

Was it when they first met or after they were married? Perhaps the turning point was when Andy

sent Lek the documents to apply for her visa. He had to include proof that he had the necessary funds to take care of her in the UK and perhaps her parents saw those figures. Andy is not a rich man but what he did have was probably a fortune to them.

Andy told Lek to leave immediately. He was in shock and needed time to himself in order to comprehend what had happened and what had almost happened. There was no point in going to the police because Lek would simply deny everything.

Her parents could not be charged because they had not done anything. And why had Lek confessed?

Was she showing some compassion or merely a guilty conscience? Maybe she was scared. Lying and cheating is one thing but being an accessory to murder is another ballgame.

For the next week, Lek came knocking on his door every night but Andy refused to answer.

Eventually the knocking went away. He has not seen her since.

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900), German philosopher.

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n o i t i t e mp

Co

In association with

Café des Amis Bistro and Wine Bar

M

ariah Carey (born March 27, 1970) is an American R&B singer, songwriter, record producer, and actress. She made her recording debut in 1990 under the guidance of Columbia Records executive Tommy Mottola, and became the first recording artist to have her first five singles top the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 chart. Following her marriage to Mottola in 1993, a series of hit records established her position as Columbia’s highest-selling act. According to Billboard magazine, she was the most successful artist of the 1990s in the United States.

Following her separation from Mottola in 1997, Carey introduced elements of hip hop into her album work, to much initial success, but her popularity was in decline when she left Columbia in 2001, and she was dropped by Virgin Records the following year after a highly publicized physical and emotional breakdown, as well as the poor reception given to Glitter, her film and soundtrack project. In 2002, Carey signed with Island Records, and after a relatively unsuccessful period, she returned to the top of pop music in 2005.

Carey was named best-selling female pop artist of the millennium at the 2000 World Music Awards. She has the most number-one singles for a solo artist in the United States (eighteen; second artist overall behind The Beatles), where, according to the Recording Industry Association of America, she is one of the best-selling female artists and sixteenth overall recording artist. In addition to her commercial accomplishments, Carey has earned five Grammy Awards, and is wellknown for her vocal range, power, style, and use of the whistle register. She is ranked as the bestselling female artist of the U.S. Nielsen Soundscan era (third best-selling artist overall), with sales of over 62.5 million albums in the US. and has sold over 200 million albums worldwide.

n o i t s e u Q n o i Competit

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The Pattaya Grapevine would like to thank Blu at ‘Cafe des Amis’ for giving away this fantastic prize, a three course meal for two with bottle of house wine, especially for you, our readers.

If you haven’t yet experienced the beautifully decorated Bistro and wine bar with exquisite food, and waiters that care, then this is your chance to dine in luxury. All you have to do is answer this question correctly to stand a chance, Good Luck!

Question: In what year did Mariah Carey perform live on the X Factor (that’s the UK version) All answers to be emailed to competition@pattayatoday.net, including your name and contact details or telephone Pattaya Today on 038 374 535 it’s that easy

Chauffeur driven pick-up service available, please ring for forthur information

Crossword & Sudoku Answers

Competition winner for June

Our June Winner

Our congratulations go out to James Fisher Brown who won a meal for two at the Special Monthly Jazz Night at Manhattans Restaurant Don’t forget to enter our Special

‘Cafè des Amis’ Competition on page 34.

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d class an n i s e k o they dirty j t it. So s or told e s t s o e r f p o r Ap ed to the en want next time that m o w f e th e kind o t in the s a e h t h t d h e t d i deci as a art w r will st leave the class o s s e f o pr ill ey all w jokes th bout the a d r a e h protest. the professor w the Someho ning of n i g e b te in the plan. prostitu ecture, l a t n x e e d n e n Sw In the said: “I ht.” e h e r u lect r nig ted to 2000 pe od up and star them: $ s e k a m sto after women houted s e h to o All the class. S ng? The plane e r h t e v i a le day afte go e u h o t y l i e t r n a u “Where esn’t take off o d n Swede w.” tomorro Bedsi Susie’s husband de Manners ha out of a coma fo d been slippin g in and r severa looked lm gri every si m, but she was onths. Things ng b back in le day. One da y his bedside to ya her to c consciousness, s he slipped ome clo he moti se to hi on chair cl m ose to t . She pu ed for h l e led close to bed and be able leaned h the t o er ear hear him “You kn . o w ” he filling w ith tears whispered, hi s , “you h me thro ave bee eyes ugh all n t he bad with fired, yo time u my bus stuck right bes s. When I got ine ide me.

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On the Lighter Side

Lucky Leprechaun

st almost run and lo le b ra e is m s from his ad a o.” He pull ing. He’s h g n e st v la e e ll n a o been there “I’ll give it ys world. ntoon. He’s he thinks to himself. o p g in left in this h*t !!!” he sa y S s la “ a p h x ” o e e si n g h a n si g a a n c e h in ck must c future ts everyth opeful. Th Bob is in a is represen urely my lu hand as his ck - looks h h S ja “ T is . . h a g se st in u in ir o s th h F rd . every s to his s them up the two ca et the deed and he pick He stares vacantly at s ping rd a c jacket pock e th do.”

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44

bust.” ist. Go on!” rechaun “Twist, tw that the lep lf se im h to to back Bob thinks he decides so t e y n w im do hasn’t let h me. ti it one last Bob se.” p rd. Slowly a “Twist lea c e th s w r dra d. He The croupie pulls it up to his han d n a c e it a fiv ard reaches for enty One, w T . o tw A looks at it.

He’s got as done it. oney and h e H trick. d all his m re e v o c re , ack eeesssss!!!!! his house b mping d on top. Y n ra g w stopped ju fe w o n s a made a h haun who the cards. It The leprec , staring at ss le n o ti o er!!” n is m mmy Bugg ja u up and dow o Y “ s y b and sa turns to Bo Pattaya

Grapevine

where East meets West

e l t t Ba

e h t of

elly Belly, Love Handles, Dunlop Disease. Whatever you want to call it, the excess fat around your midsection, that wiggles and jiggles in all the wrong places just isn't pretty. Not only is belly fat unattractive, it can be downright dangerous to your health.

Extra fat carried around your abdomen can increase your risk of heart disease. With so many pills, potions and programs flooding the weight loss industry today, many people are left feeling just plain confused about how to effectively reduce belly fat.

The first thing you must know about how to effectively reduce belly fat is that there is no magic bullet when it comes to weight loss. Reducing body fat levels requires a three pronged approach that doesn’t come from popping diet pills or gulping down foul tasting drinks. Belly fat also won’t come off by trying to spot reduce only doing sit-ups or crunches. It’s just not possible to spot reduce, so don’t waste your time.

So, the question remains, how do you effectively reduce belly fat? Here is a safe, practical three pronged approach to get rid of belly fat.

1. Healthy Meals. Notice the word diet isn’t part of the equation. That’s because the word diet conjures up visions of carrots and celery and not much else. The word diet gives us nightmares of deprivation and hunger, and that’s not the image we’re looking for with permanent weight loss. Just because the word diet isn’t used does not mean you’re free to gorge on junk food at will.

Healthy meals consist of lean protein, lots of vegetables, whole grains and some fruit. Your should consistently choose foods that are as close as possible to their natural state.

2. Cardiovascular Exercise. Regular cardiovascular exercise will reduce body fat levels. Where should you start? Walking is great cardio! Put your shoes on and get moving for at least 30 minutes per day.

It doesn’t matter how fast or how far you walk in the beginning, the most important point is that you’re moving your body aerobically on a regular basis. If you don’t enjoy walking then ride a bike, roller-skate, jog, run. Participate in whatever aerobic activity you enjoy.

3. Lift Weights. Yes, you did read that correctly! If you’re wondering what lifting weights has to do with effectively reducing belly fat, then read on. Regular weight lifting has several beneficial effects for those folks trying to reduce their body fat levels. Muscles burn extra calories. The more muscle you carry on your frame, the more calories you burn in a 24 hour period which translates into extra fat burning power. Muscles take up about one third less space than fat. Muscles give you the power to carry on your daily activities more effectively and with energy to spare.

Learning how to effectively reduce belly fat isn’t a difficult task. The three principle keys to getting rid of your gut rely on diet, cardiovascular exercise and weight lifting on a regular basis.

Remember, you didn’t sprout belly fat overnight and you can’t get rid of belly fat in a day, but you can reduce belly fat if you’re willing to put forth a bit of effort.

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Have you ever been suspicious about who your Thai girlfriend or wife are telephoning, or are you worried what your children are up to? Maybe you need to put your mind at rest, about your partners texting day and night? Now you can solve your nightmares.

There is a new software on the market for 99% of Mobile phones, it’s spyware called ‘Blueware’, which allows you to listen into the targeted Mobile phone, read their text messages, view their contact list, calls made or received, photos and you can even make calls via the Mobile you have targeted .

This software boasts that it will work in any country, as it doesn’t depend on country or network, you don’t need to add anything on the targeted phone, and there is nothing logged to the targeted phone so there will be no trace of your spying activities. This program is 100% software so you will not need to alter or modify your handset at all.

If you were wondering if this software was illegal then put your mind at rest, it is simply implementing the same technology used by law enforcement agencies around the world The very latest technology and programs allow you to spy on any bluetooth enabled mobile phone.

Blueware has just been awarded software of the year 2009 by Softglare Magazine and is sold on line only, as an instant download, all you need to do is visit www.phonestealth.com Your mobile phone refers to a Bluetooth enabled device capable of running java applications.

Every customer must agree to the legal and liability terms and agreement.

Not compatible with iPhone OS, Android, or some specific Blackberry models.

Please refer to the compatibility chart for a list of compatible Blackberry phones.

Please use this software responsibly.

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“Kissing”

When passion takes a grip, a kiss locks two humans together in an exchange of scents, tastes, textures, secrets and emotions. We kiss furtively, lasciviously, gently, shyly, hungrily and exuberantly. We kiss in broad daylight and in the dead of night. We give ceremonial kisses, affectionate kisses and Hollywood air kisses.

Lips may have evolved first for food and later applied themselves to speech, but in kissing they satisfy different kinds of hungers. In the body, a kiss triggers a cascade of neural messages and chemicals that transmit tactile sensations, sexual

excitement, feelings of closeness, motivation and even euphoria.

Not all the messages are internal. After all, kissing is a communal affair.

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The fusion of two bodies dispatches communiqués to your partner as powerful as the data you stream to yourself.

Kisses can convey important information about the status and future of a relationship.

So much, in fact, that, according to recent research, if a first kiss goes bad, it can stop an otherwise promising relationship dead in its tracks.

Some scientists believe that the fusing of lips evolved because it facilitates mate selection. “Kissing,” said evolutionary Psychologist Gordon G. Gallup, of the University of Albany State University of New York, last September, in an interview with the BBC, “involves a very complicated exchange of information—olfactory information, tactile information and postural types of adjustments that may tap into underlying evolved and unconscious mechanisms, that enable people to make determinations … about the degree to which they are genetically incompatible.”

Kissing may even reveal the extent to which a partner is willing to commit to raising children, a central issue in long-term relationships and crucial to the survival of our species.

Whatever else is going on when we kiss, our evolutionary history is embedded within this tender, tempestuous act.

In the 1960s British zoologist and author Desmond Morris first proposed that kissing might have evolved from the practice in which primate mothers chewed food for their young and then fed them mouth-to-mouth, lips puckered.

Chimpanzees feed in this manner, so our hominid ancestors probably did, too.

Pressing upturned lips against lips may have then later developed as a way to comfort hungry children when food was scarce, and in time, to express love and affection in general. The human species might eventually have taken these proto-parental kisses down other roads until we came up with the more passionate varieties we have today.

Silent chemical messengers called pheromones could have sped the evolution of the intimate kiss. Many animals and plants use pheromones to communicate with other members of the same species. Insects, in particular, are known to emit pheromones to signal alarm, for example, the presence of a food trail, or sexual attraction.

Whether humans sense pheromones is controversial. Unlike rats and pigs, people are not known to have a specialized pheromone detector, or vomeronasal organ, between their nose and mouth, see ‘Sex and the Secret Nerve,’ by R. Douglas Fields; Scientific American Mind, February/March 2007].

Nevertheless, biologist Sarah Woodley of Duquesne University, suggests that we might be able to sense pheromones with our nose. And chemical communication could explain such curious findings as a tendency of the menstrual cycles of female dormitory mates to synchronize, or the attraction of women to the scents of T-shirts worn by men whose immune systems are genetically compatible with theirs.

Human pheromones could include a drostenol, a chemical component of male sweat that may boost sexual arousal in women, and female vaginal hormones called copulins that some researchers have found raise testosterone levels and increase sexual appetite in men.

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“Bling H20” Bottled Water Hollywood writer and producer Kevin Boyd knew in his gut that something was missing from our world: A good $40 bottle of designer water.So he started his own high-priced water company, and now he is a very wealthy guy indeed.

Top

ten The fact is, not everybody is depressed and not everybody is poor or about to become poor. One retail category that actually saw stock appreciation throughout 2009 and continues to do well is luxury goods--and oh boy, what goods they are!

It seems that while most of us are spending our days wondering if we should A) eat the house or b) heat the house, other folks are rolling around in French feather beds smeared with Belgian chocolates and diamond dust, then washing it all off in vats of imported Champagne and Evian water whilst noshing on snacks flecked with real gold leaf.

The $300,000 Romain Jerome “Night & Day” Watch Made with base metals salvaged from the wreck of the Titanic, the ‘Night & Day’ watch has an open clock face that sports the RJ logo, visible gears, and not much else. The pricey watch (made by fabled Swiss watchmaker Romaine Jerome) retails for $300,000 and is based on “...an interpretation of time based on two tourbillions operating sequentially.”

The RJ $300,000 “Night & Day” watch sold out in the first 48 hours.

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Bling H20 is made from, um...water. According to Boyd, the water used in Bling H20 is natural spring water bottled in Dandrige, Tennessee and subjected to a “nine step purification process.” The bottles are available in limited edition frosted and/or cobalt glass covered in Swarovski crystals which retail for between $25 and $75 a piece depending on design, with the most popular white frosted model retailing for $40.

The World’s Most Expensive Toilet Hang Fung Gold Technology, a jewelery firm located in Hong Kong and owned by entrepreneur Lam Sai-Wing, doesn’t really let anyone use its solid gold bathroom.

The room, which includes an 800 pound jewel-encrusted 24-carat gold toilet, is part of a display museum set up to illustrate the many uses of the precious metal that Lam’s specializes in trading. Lam is very proud of this museum, which is a big tourist draw, and especially proud of the toilet.

When gold hit record highs this past summer, Lam came under severe pressure by the Hong Kong business establishment (and the popular press) to melt down and sell his prized loo, but he steadfastly refused.

Thirsty for a Mouthful of Gold?

Mojitos are OK, if you’re into that sort of thing, but when you really want to impress your date, pop into London’s Modiva nightclub (if they’ll admit you) and order a “Flawless.”

The “Flawless” consists of a generous measure of Louis XII Cognac, half a bottle of Cristal Rose Champagne, brown sugar, agnostura bitters, and a few flecks of 24 carat gold leaf floated across the top.

The piece de resistance is an 11 carat white diamond ring waiting at the bottom of each cocktail glass.

Clearly, you don’t want to knock down too many of these things, and you don’t want it to be your last drink either, or you’ll be searching that solid gold toilet bowl for something sparkly the next morning.

Still, at $70,000 a snort, if this doesn’t impress you’re date, call Mr. Hilton and tell him his daughter has passed out again. $500,000 Bat Cave Home Theater Stay Home in Style--TV and DVD Player Not Included.

Going to the movies is getting so expensive, The popcorn and drinks alone will make you tap into your home equity, if you have any left. Why not stay home and watch a movie instead? And what better place to watch it than in your very own bat cave home theatre!

“We chose to go with the Batman theme because the environments are very visual and give that ‘wow’ effect,” says Elite Home Theatre CEO and founder Bobby Bala. “In our opinion, Batman is a bit more cool, dark and ‘theatreish’ than, say, Spider-man. It also has a few more props that can be more easily incorporated into a home theater.”

Popcorn is not included either. Sigh, it never is.

The 34K per night Ty Warner Penthouse Suite in NYC New York, New York, It’s a Heckuva Town!

The Ty Warner Penthouse Suite at the Four Seasons Hotel in New York City takes up the entire top floor of

the hotel and includes its own waterfall, a view of downtown Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty, a four foot high cut glass chandelier by French designer Francios-Xavier LaLanne, and walls inland with thousands of pieces of mother-of-pearl. The bathroom floors and ceilings are solid onyx, which makes the rest of the bathroom features--an infinityedge bathtub complete with chromatherapy, a separate glass-enclosed rain shower, radiant-heated floors, and sinks carved from a solid block of rock crystal--stand out nicely. The dressing room is clad in solid leather.

It used to be tackier. Recently, the Four Seasons redecorated the penthouse suite to the tune of $50 million, so if you plan to go there, go there soon before it gets trashed by some rock star or something.

Champage, Chocolate, and Evian Feeling a little dirty after a gruelling day of selfindulgence and debauchery? Do your arms ache from lugging all that cash and plastic around all day? Are those red-soled million dollar Louboutin pumps just killing your feet? Zip on down to the Spa V at the Hotel Victor in trendy South Beach, Florida and ask for the Evian bath. Over a thousand bottles of Evian water will be uncorked and specially heated just for you, then sprinkled with rose petals.

The Evian Bath at Spa V includes a bottle of Champagne, a slice of the signature desert The Seven Sins of Chocolate from the hotel’s restaurant, and your choice of two other spa treatments. A room at the hotel will set you back about $700 a night, but if that sounds too mundane, they also have a 4,000 square foot suite available with hot tub on the ocean view terrace and surround sound throughout. If you have to ask the price of that, you really can’t afford to stay here.

Rich People Die Too You may be filthy rich, you may get out of paying your taxes, but when it comes to death, that’s a much tougher nut to crack. You probably will die, unless we get some Republicans back in the White House.

But you don’t have to spend eternity in some tacky socialist nightmare of a resting place. The Santa Barbara Cemetery can set you and your beloved up

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in a lovely ocean view plot for only $83,000.

You will be surrounded by other filthy rich people (although not too closely surrounded) and you will spend eternity languidly looking out on the Pacific shore, remembering how great your tanlines used to look and being thankful that your lipsuction days are finally over.

Besides, nothing is more romantic that a gorgeous dual cemetery plot. Makes a great anniversary gift!

Move Over Jimmy Choo When designer Jimmy Choo created a pair of sandals strung with diamonds for Vogue magazine, he started something that still hasn’t been finished. Every year now at the Oscars ceremony some starlet shows up in multimillion dollar pumps, often crafted by cobbler-tothe-stars Stuart Weitzman.

The latest fund-a-third-world-economy foot gear designed by Stuart was a pair of gold tone, 40s-style pumps encrusted with over 1,800 Kwiat diamonds weighing over 400 carats.

And Finally, a Little Dessert...

I don’t know about you, but after a long day spending money I like to finish up on a little bit of a sweet, and Serendipity 3 in NYC has just the thing with its “Frrrozen Haute Chocolate” dessert.

Made with 12 kinds of imported chocolate, five grams of 24 carat gold fleck mixed into a slushy-type consistency, and topped off with lots of whipped cream and a la Madeline au Truffe imported French cherry, the tempting morsel is finished off with even more gold leaf. (You just can’t ingest too much 24 carat gold.)

in association with

e Bar nt & Win

Restaura

Take great plesure in inviting you to attend their

The Frozen Haute Chocolate is served in a goblet surrounded with a crown made, of course, of gold.

And diamonds. If that is not enough, the spoon is gold, too. At only $25,000 per serving, that’s really a bargain, when you consider all the precious metals and blood jewels involved.

The ancient Romans, no slouches themselves when it came to debauchery, used to ingest gold leaf.

It caused them to go mad. And then, there was that fall of the Empire business. I think some of these folks might already be there.

With the Creations of Guest Chef

‘Patrick Zellweger’ on Sunday 23rd August at Bruno’s Restaurant Pratumnack Road

On the Lighter Side

10 Downing Street London SW1 Dear People of the United Kingdom

caused by Due to the current financial situation Government the slowdown of the economy, your put workers has decided to implement a scheme to rement. This 50 years of age and older on early reti tire Aged People scheme will be known as RAPE (Re Early). ly to the Persons selected to be RAPED can app AFT scheme government to be eligible for the SH n).

(Special Help After Forced Terminatio SHAFTED will Persons who have been RAPED and m (Scheme be reviewed under the SCREW progra person may be Covering Retired Early Workers). A SCREWED as RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and appropriate. many times as the government deems D can get AIDS Only persons who have been RAPE & Spouse) or (Additional Income for Dependants Personnel Early HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired have AIDS or Severance). Obviously, persons who SCREWED any HERPES will not be SHAFTED or further by the government. staying on, Persons who are not RAPED and are h Intensity will receive as much SHIT (Special Hig nt has always Training) as possible. The governme it gives out. prided itself in the amount of SHIT ive enough Should you feel that you do not rece n of your local SHIT, please bring this to the attentio you all the SHIT MP. They have been trained to give you can handle.

Sincerely, Gordon Brown

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The Colonoscopy

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decid e who was the one in charge.

“I should be in charge” sai d the Brain, because I run all the body ’s syste ms, so without me nothing would happen.

“I should be charge” said the Blood, because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you’d all waste away.

“I should be in charge” sai d the Stomach, because I process food an d give all of you energy.

“I should be in charge” sai d the Legs, because I carry the body where ev er it needs to go.

“I should be in charge” sai d the Eyes, because I allow the body to see wh ere it gose.

“I should be in charge” sai d the Rectum, because I’m responsible for waste removal.

All the other body parts laughed at the Rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the Br ain had a terrible headache, the stomach w as bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got wate ry, and the Blood was toxic.

They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story ?

The Ass Hole is usually the

one in charge!

Poster Adds that Talk

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Lips All Ladies want irresistible Lips, so here are a few tips no matter how young or old you maybe Ok, before we start, you will need to make sure your lips are clean and moisturised, and that you have to hand a mirror, tissues, lip-liner and lipstick.

• Consider your lipstick colour and finish. You’ll do

well with colours that match the natural shade of your lips, opting for darker tones that complement your overall colouring. Matte lipsticks offer a muted finish, complementary to workday makeup, while satin and gloss finishes offer appealing evening looks.

• Prime your lips with a little foundation, this will help your lipstick last longer • Draw a thin line along the edge of your lips with a lip liner whose colour is one shade darker than your lipstick.

Start at the centre of the upper lip and work outward.

Hug the very outer edges to open up thin lips, and line well within the edges to downplay excessively full lips.

Wearing lip liner helps to stop your lipstick from bleeding.

• Apply lipstick from the tube or by using a firm, small lipstick brush. Coat the lips evenly. Pay special attention to staying within the lips’ edges.

• Gently blot to remove any excess colour and to even

out the texture.

• Touch up with some more colour. For a more natural

look for the day time, blot again lightly with a tissue, but if you like the shimmer on your lips for the evening, do not blot after the final application.

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The Infamous Maxi Dress 2

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The Infamous maxi dress where time stood still can be worn year after year, and can be dressed up or down depending on your function. These dresses are flattering to all body shapes so if you haven’t got one then ask yourself, why not?

1 A sale bargain at only £20, Zebra-print maxi. Cotton maxi dress, Dorothy Perkins; dorothyperkins.com 2 Orange halter-neck dress from Joy. Cotton maxi dress, £45, Joy; Joythestore.com 3 Black floor-sweeper Cotton maxi dress, £55, French Connection; frenchconnection.com 4 Palm print maxi dress. Jersey maxi dress, £16, New Look; newlook.co.uk 5 Floaty paisley number from Accessorize. Polyester-mix maxi dress, £45, Accessorize; accessorize.com 6 Graffiti-print maxi from high-street favourite Peacocks. Cotton maxi dress, £18, Peacocks; peacocks.co.uk 7 Floaty. Silk-mix beaded maxi dress, £65, ASOS; asos.com 8 Floral bandeau Cotton maxi dress, £40, Next; next.co.uk 9 A pretty tribal-inspired variation, Cotton maxi dress, £49, Miss Selfridge; missselfridge.com 10 Polyester maxi dress, £35, Therapy at House of Fraser; houseoffraser.co.uk

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Rasberry Pavlova Served with sharp fruits to counteract the sweetness of the meringue, it is truly one of the greats.

Ingredients 3 large fresh egg whites 6oz (175grams) caster sugar

For the topping 10 fl oz (275 ml) whipping or double cream, whipped.

12oz (350grams) prepared mixed soft fruits, such as raspberries, strawberries and red currants. a little icing sugar Preheat the oven to gas mark 2, 300째F (150째C) You will also need a lightly oiled baking sheet, lined with silicone paper (baking parchment), which peels off very easily.

Place the egg whites in a large clean bowl and have the sugar measured and ready. Now whisk the egg whites until they form soft peaks, and you can turn the bowl upside down without them sliding out (it's very important, though, not to over-whisk the egg whites because, if you do, they will start to collapse). When they're ready, start to whisk in the sugar, approximately 1oz (25grams) at a time, whisking after each addition until all the sugar is in.

Now take a metal tablespoon and spoon the meringue mixture on to the prepared baking sheet, forming a circle about 8 inches (20cm) in diameter. Then spoon round blobs next to each other so that they join up to form a circle all around the edge. Now, using the tip of a skewer, make little swirls in the meringue all round the edge, lifting the skewer up sharply each time to leave tiny peaks.

Now place the baking sheet in the oven, then immediately turn down the heat to gas mark 1, 275째F (140째C) and leave it to cook for 1 hour. Then turn the heat right off but leave the Pavlova inside the oven until it's completely cooled. I always find it's best to make a Pavlova in the evening and leave it in the turned-off oven overnight to dry out. It's my belief that the secret of successful meringues of any sort is to let them dry out completely, which is what this method does perfectly.

To serve the Pavlova, lift it from the baking sheet, peel off the paper and place it on a serving dish. Then just before serving, spread the whipped cream on top, arrange the fruit on top of the cream and dust with a little sifted icing sugar. Serve cut into wedges.

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? w e N s ’ t a h W

Harry Potter Glasses

The film, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, has broken box office records and it appears a load of Potter fans have been entranced by the wizard-student look. Glasses Direct is reporting a 100 percent jump in sales of its Harry Potter-style glasses, known as the John Lennon JL260F "We always see a surge in styles to match current trends. The Harry Potterstyle glasses have been getting more and more popular recently and we're seeing them flying off the shelves, on broomsticks!" said Jamie Murray Wells, founder of Glasses Direct. "What we're surprised by is that the popularity of these glasses seems to span all ages

SlimLipo™ Laser assisted Liposuction SlimLipo, from Palomar, uses a new laser technology that provides a less invasive procedure for fat reduction than traditional liposuction. Using a special patented laser wavelength, administered through several tiny incisions, SlimLipo gently melts fat for removal from your body — with smaller scars, less bleeding, less post-treatment healing and shorter recovery time. SLIM stands for “Selective Laser-Induced Melting,” and the procedure commonly takes less than an hour for a given area. It is effective for fat reduction for body areas of the abdomen, hip and thigh, arm, face and neck.

SlimLipo is for men and women, and is designed to ease any unnecessary trauma to the body, many patients can go to work the very next day.

SlimLipo is still a surgical procedure.

Gossard

Lingerie supplier Gossard have taken the plunge this season by teaming up with Marie Curie Cancer Care to offer customers the chance to buy a limited-edition discounted lingerie set in aid of the charity.

The Daffodil lingerie set, which was launched on August 1, will brighten up your day by flattering your figure, and making you look and feel fantastic. Available in 100% silk, the lingerie set is centred on Marie Curie Cancer Care’s Daffodil logo, using the associated yellow colour along with vibrant blue and grey hues.

Gossard’s mantra, ‘Look Good and Do Good’, is echoed in their policy to donate 25% (£10) of every set sold online at www.gossard.com to the worthwhile cause. The set, which usually retails at £48, has now been reduced to £40. Sizes range from 30-38B-G cup in bras and XS-L for briefs.

Money raised will then be donated to the trust, one of the UK’s largest charities, and will be used to provide free nursing care to terminally ill patients in their own homes.

Control Pants The department store, Selfridges, is set to launch on the high street Britain’s first range of ‘Control-pants’ for men. The collection, by Equmen, promises to deliver a pert posterior, and do for men’s bums, what brands such as Spanx have done for female thighs. The range of ‘power pants’ comprises briefs, at £35, and leg-hugging trunks (colloquially referred to as ‘Meggings’ (the macho form of leggings), £37, which feature Equmen’s revolutionary ‘Helix-Mapping Compression Technology’, to improve lightweight posture and provide support ‘down under’, in addition to lifting and smoothing “in all the right places”, to quote the press release.

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nt a i G e e d Th e p ti n e C

If you have been in Thailand for a while, you will at some stage, seen or at least heard, about the giant CentidedScolopendra Subspinipes-De kaap. The question is what is fact and what is fiction? If the Thai local stories are to be believed, this monster will jump up at your throat, and with his venomous bite, kill you more or less straight away. I have researched this monster and you have to give him a little respect, after all he has been on this planet, according to evolutionary theory, dating back 420 million years to the late Silurian age.

They belong to the subphylum Myriapoda which includes Diplopoda, Symphyla, and Pauropoda. The oldest known fossil land animal is a Myriapod.

The giant centipede likes dark moist leafy areas, probably best not to keep garden waste hanging around your home, as you might end up with a guest. And just to put your mind at rest, the rainy season will not force them to venture into your home, however, we are not assuring you that it won’t venture into your home and curl up in your linen closet, bedcovers or even in your shoes.

Reddish brown in colour and up to 35cm in length, Thais have claimed to have seen much bigger, the width of a man’s arm was one report, and who knows what length, but there is no evidence to support their claims. He is a nocturnal predator, he has 2 hollow fangs which inject paralysing venom into his pray. He has been observed eating reptiles, amphibians, small mammals, birds and even a bat in flight.

There has been reported cases were this centipede has caused death from their bite in the very young and very old, but having said that, its not their bite, it’s the reaction to the venom, that in extreme cases has caused death, the same principal as an allergic reaction to a bee sting. The normal reaction to a bite from one of these centipede is painfully agonising, lasting for 2 to 3 days, causing server swelling from their poison and possible a deep wound from their bite.

If you are one of the unlucky and end up being bitten, then you need to seek medical attention as soon as possible. These centipede do not need to be antagonised to bite you, so be warned!

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The Sanctuary of Truth

In 1981 wealthy business man Lek Viriyaphant began building his vision, The Sanctuary of truth in Nakula. Today this impressive monument to Buddhist spiritualism and artistic grace has come a long way but is still fifteen to twenty years from completion. The structure itself measures an impressive 100 meters from wing to wing and is 105 meters tall.

The four wings represent the different artistic views of Buddhism from Thailand, India, Cambodia, Laos, and China. Although it is called a temple it is not seen or used in a religious way as it is meant to bring people together through artistic spiritualism.

The temple sits at the end of a cape on the gulf of Siam in Nakula on soi 12 just 10-15 minutes outside of Pattaya in Chonburi province. The Sanctuary of Truth sits at the edge of the 32 acre complex which in the future will also have smaller buildings and guest houses.

The entrance fee varies depending on the activities you want to do. 500 Baht ($16.00) per person is the main entrance fee which includes a horse drawn carriage ride down to the temple as well as a guided tour and the dolphin show. The entrance

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fee increases if you want to add in horseback riding or a boat ride in the gulf.

Days Out

The temple itself is completely constructed of wood and primarily teak at that. All the wood is shaped and hand carved on site by many Thai artisans. Although the wood is treated for its environment its age shows in cracks and rot so even though the building process is ongoing there is also restoration being done all the time. Most of the carvings, especially the large ones, are made in pieces and everything is joined with wooden pins, no nails are used ever.

The sanctuary also has a restaurant on the premises which has a small cultural show and of course the dolphin show which seems out of place but after the show you can wander down and meet the stars for a picture and a kiss if you’re lucky.

Khun Lek died a few years ago but his family continues his vision and it makes for an amazing day trip that you shouldn’t miss.

The Sanctuary of truth is situated in northern Pattaya at Soi Nakula 12.

For further information please check out their website at www.sanctuaryoftruth.com

Do you ever feel Like your paying to light all of Pattaya?

Would you like to save 40% on your Electric Bill?

Special Offer - No outlay you only pay the monthly rental

Now I think we would all like to see lower electric bills, the rates in Thailand seem to be expensive compared with our home countries.

And with the marketing of their new product, the ‘Electric Power Saver Box’, Energy Saver Plus Ltd. can now help to reduce your monthly electric bills by up to 40% without a huge outlay at the start. The new product is affordable and easy to use.

Energy Saver Plus Ltd. have their manufacturing department in Lao, and have been supplying their innovative product to the huge Indian and Chinese markets for the past year, now they are in a position to be able to supply their product for customers in Thailand.

The company has only been trading for 2 years, however, already they have sold and installed 5,000 of their units into the domestic market and 2,000 into the commercial market to date.

Sales Agents required, earn in excess of 150,000 Baht per month

Mobile: 0847 998 796 or 0801 953 021

84/13 Moo 5 Paradise Hill, Nongprue, Banglamung, Chonburi

www.esp1.moonfruit.com