101 THE ENGLISH 101 MAGAZINE WHAT IS BLUE
MOUNTAIN STATE TRYING TO SAY?
1
Table Of Contents Topic
Pages
Reflective Essay ---------------------------------- 3 - 6 Substantial Revision ---------------------------- 8 - 13 Genre Change ----------------------------------- 15 - 19 Informal Writings ------------------------------- 21 - 25
2
Reflection English 101 has brought to my attention, many new styles of writing
that I may or may not have used before. This class focuses on improving your writing abilities through the introduction of different ways to write both critically and analytically. I started my path to improving my writing by taking Shayani’s version of English 101. At first I was asked to write reader responses based around either a passage to read, videos, or outside knowledge that asked for our opinion. At first I started writing reader responses just to get them done for the grade, but after the first few attempts, I started to actually read the material assigned so that I could write a cohesive response to it. When I read the passages in depth, I was able to see more than just words on a page. Instead I was able to see what the writer was writing and I was
3
able to see the message that the writer was trying to tell their audiences. When reading the short story, “Those Who Walk Away From Omelas,� at first sight I thought the short story was only about a utopic society and how grand it was. But after looking into the words and trying to find the point that the author was
trying to convey, I started to realize that in this flawless world, there were problems there just like in any other society. The sacrifice of this one child was made in order to have such a functional city to the outside world. That the whole was greater than its parts, and Omelas was able to keep turning without any
hindrance. This along with other reader response helped open my eyes to the importance of close reading and how it can affect the way in which I analyze different works. Another way I have had the chance to improve upon my writing is
through the group activities/workshops that have taken place throughout the course. Peer editing is once feature that is probably the most productive part, at least in terms of academics, of group work. When I peer edit, I notice mistakes that the other person who I am peer editing makes, and I try to avoid making 4
those mistakes the next time I go to write a paper. But I also have learned that
not many other people like to make negative critiques upon other peer’s paper because they are afraid that those mistakes will be pointed out in their paper. So when I find someone who is good at peer reviewing, then I can improve my papers greatly from the rough draft to the draft that is handed in
and graded. But unfortunately I have only had one peer review that has been helpful so that workshop activity is only as good as the person who reviews it. Out of all of the ways someone can comment and suggest changes to help make a paper better and able to get its point a crossed, to me the most
effective way was reading through the comments that were provided by Shayani. Not only will she provide me with comments of what was correct in my papers, I also receive the ingredients in what I need to do the mix together to make a better paper that is not only better in terms of sticking to the style of
the paper, but also to get the point a crossed to the reader quicker and clearer. In my op-ed paper, my rough draft was all over the place on deciding what point I was going to make, but after I read through my comments and met 5
with Shayani, I was able to get the next draft more to point. Another positive to reading though and understanding these comments are that they are coming directly from the grader, this way I can address what the reader is looking for in the next draft and hopefully gather points and put a limit to the confusion that my papers may cause due to my natural indecisiveness. By getting directly to the point of my paper, the reader is less confused and the stronger the point is. Throughout this course, I will say that the system works and stronger writers come out of these classes. By exposure to multiple styles of writing, a student can expand their horizons in writing and maybe one day use one of these styles, whether it is for a job or just for free write. My improvements are shown in the differences from first draft to the last drafts, where the material is vastly changed and clearer points are expressed to the reader.
~Ryan Smith~
6
Don’t Just Join The Class!
Don’t Just Join The Fun! Join The Conversation! 7
“Blue Mountain State” Academics, the Old Form of Smart The TV show “Blue Mountain State,” is a satire that shows the viewer, you don’t have to be the smartest person in the world to overcome obstacles. “Blue Mountain State” is a deadly combination of “American Pie” and college football, that provides the viewer with and endless amount of laughter and entertainment. The show has gained a vast amount of popularity since it first premiered in 2010; with its use of ridiculously over exaggerated situations that the football players seem to always find themselves in. And even though these football players are not the brightest students, they always manage to come together and figure a way out of whatever corner they are been backed into. In today’s modern world, college football players are viewed to only attend a university for one reason, and that reason is to play football. Sadly this stereotype has discredited many student athletes that actually perform well in the classroom by being overshadowed by those who don’t. “Blue Mountain State” uses this stereotype as a device to develop its football characters, by making them sex-crazed Neanderthals. Many of these 8
episodes expose us to the value of the “Nerd” to these football players. Whether the task is
to complete a small homework assignment or a term paper, the nerds are tasked with completing theses assignments so that football players can focus on football and still pass school. “In the show the football players are able to get away with almost everything, including missing all of their classes, having “nerds” and “computer geeks” at their beck
and call, doing all of their homework for them.” In the episode “Nerds,” the importance of the role assumed by the nerds is put directly in the spotlight, when the nerds go on strike for the mistreatment of a fellow nerd. In this episode, all of the sports teams meet up to try to figure out a way to end the nerds strike before their homework piles up too high and they become academically ineligible to participate in their athletics season. By the end of the show, a truce is made between the nerds and jocks, and the role of the nerd is resumed. “Such a different type of intelligence can be related to Blue Mountain State, because where the team does not excel in the classroom, the series is still trying to push that athletes are actually smart by putting the players in situations of extreme stress and they are forced to problem solve, they need to react quickly and precisely in order to get themselves out of trouble.”
9
With the lack of intelligence shown by the football players, the need of another source to complete their assignments is critical. If the football players attempted the assignments by themselves, they would be in trouble, thus giving even more importance to the need of nerds. Another episode that brings attention to the poor academic performance displayed
by the football players is the show “Midterms.” In this show the players are stuck in the situation of having unsatisfactory grades and have a midterm coming up that they need to pass in order to play in the next football game. This presents a problem for the football players, because none of them attend the class and have very little chance to pass. In this situation
most students would find themselves in the library studying until they drop, but not the Blue Mountain State football team. Instead they team up to brainstorm different ideas that could possibly get them out of taking the test. The backup quarterback finds a way out of the test by taking the professor’s mother off of his hands for a night in return for a C on the test. This plan
works out until the other players catch wind of this and try this same strategy with alerting the professor about their activities. But things go on a twist for the football players when the find out that the professor’s mother likes to give out hand jobs while they are spending time with her. The professor walks in on an instance of this and becomes so furious that he backs out on 10
the original deal that he made with the backup quarterback. Now the players are faced with their original dilemma of having to take the test. But instead of studying, the players look for a new way to get themselves out of the hole that they are currently in. At the time of the exam, the players blackmail the professor into giving them a C, and in return they would broadcast a live video feed a crossed the campus of his mother pleasuring three of the football players. Even though the football players’ weakness
is their academics, they are able to work around the obstacle of passing a test. Because they knew they had no chance to pass the test by taking it, they had to come up with a creative way to work around that and in the end they were able to get over that bump in the road and move back to focusing on football. The players show that they can overcome with challenges
that they face, whether it is individually or as a team. In the episode “Superstition,� the kicker, Harmon, is in a slump and has missed the past several field goals, including a game winning one. To shake the funk he is in, he seeks help from unusual sources. Harmon ends up at a fortuneteller where he buys herbs and remedies that will hopefully cure him and 11
set him back on his normal streak of converting on field goal attempts. But instead, the herbs make him sick and put him even more off the path then where he previously was. Finally he decides to go to the fortuneteller and have her read through his thoughts to try and diagnose the root problem. She reveals the source of his problem and leaves the rest up to him to figure out how to overcome his own problem. Harmon takes the captain of the
football team that has been giving him grief about missing the field goals, and ties him up to the field goal posts and start drilling him with footballs. After doing this, Harmon defeats the evil that has been holding him back and goes back to how he used to kick. Harmon is able to solve his issue, individually but still in a very obscure way. He might not have used
the most conventional way handling his problem but in the end he is able to overcome the task given to him. The football players are always finding themselves in very unusual situations and seem to execute upon them without thinking the situations through. In the episode “Dic
Pics” Harmon is sent a picture of a penis from his coach that was actually meant to be sent to the coach’s wife. Without thinking about it, Harmon automatically thinks that the coach is interested in him in a sexual way, and becomes confused. Later in the show, the coach’s wife accidently sends Harmon a picture of her private parts. Now again without much
thought, Harmon assumes that the coach and his wife want to have a Ménage à trois.
12
Harmon starts to read too deep into everything the coach says to try to figure out what the coach
expects from him. At the end of the episode, Harmon shows up on the coach’s steps to his front door, dressed only in a trench coach and bowtie. When the coach answers the door, Harmon exposes himself to the coach and his wife saying, “I’m ready.” Without analyzing the situation properly, Harmon actually puts himself in an even more awkward situation than what he was
previously in when the first dic pic was sent. Acting off of pure reaction, he ends up with the wrong idea and exposes himself to the coach. The football players at Blue Mountain State are all given the characteristic of having poor intellectual skills. By lacking intellect, the players seem to fall in to these ridiculous
situations that they have to find their way out of. In the end the players find a way around whatever obstacle presents itself but usually in the one of the most unconventional ways. This provides the viewer entertainment, as we sit a watch, waiting to see what the next idea these guys can come up with.
~Ryan Smith~
13
14
Behind the Lyrics Third Eye Blind’s first album hit record sales in 1997, producing several hits. One song that stands above the rest is the song “Jumper.” This song hit the charts peaking at number on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 charts. Just like other songs manufactured by Third Eye Blind, “Jumper” has an upbeat rock-pop sound that is complimented with meaningful lyrics. This mixture is the formula to produce an instant hit that is well known by people in their 30’s and younger. But despite its popularity among the younger generation, very few actually know that “Jumper” is about more than just suicide. When listening to “Jumper” for the first time, the lyrics “I wish you would step back from the ledge my friend,” immediately gives an image of someone about to jump off of either abridge or a building in an attempt to kill themselves. This lyric is repeated throughout the song and draws more attention to it than the other lyrics that are mentioned in the verses. 15
As the song moves into the verses, the lyrics start stating reasons for why the jumper
might jump. “You know you don’t belong,” is just one example of why the jumper is willing to leave everything behind and jump, because he feels that there is no place for him in this world. But we are never given any evidence in the song as to why he doesn’t belong or in what way is he an outsider. Is it his looks? His beliefs? The way he talks? Does
he smell funny? We don’t know. And the song alone does not tell us. In an interview with the band Third Eye Blind, a Vancouver radio station reveals the true meaning behind the lyrics and what inspired them to write this particular song. According to the lead singer, Stephan Jenkins, the song comes from a
story that their manager had told them. It was about one of the manager’s friends who attended a military school in San Diego. His friend was gay and not accepted by others who attended the school, because at that school it was unacceptable to be gay. After feelings off not fitting in and being hazed, his friend jumped off a bridge, ending his life. Third Eye Blind took this story and turned it into not only a popular song, but also a strong message to those who feel like they don’t belong. Telling them to hang in there because in the end everyone has problems and life is too important to end a temporary issue with a
16
permanent solution. . In the chorus of the song, the lyrics “you can put the past away,” is said again and again to enforce the message of the band; hoping that it will stick in people’s heads that thing that happen in the past should stay in the past. With the lyrics leaving out the roots of the song, the music video tries to fill those gaps and provide a background for the audience. The video contains quick scenes going back and forth between the band and a curly haired kid. The kid in the video starts off at a party where he goes from fighting another male to kissing him. As the video progresses, the kid witnesses guys hooking up with girls instead of other guys. He becomes confused and starts distancing himself from other people at parties, trying to figure what is wrong with him and why he isn’t like everyone else. He tries to cover up his secret by becoming violent and smashing car lights. Then he is confronted by the singer of the band, where they are faced to face with the singer repeating “I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,” and “I would understand,” being looped in the background. The singer is trying to help out his friend by confronting him and
hopefully his repetition will help the kid make the right choice. At the end of the video, the kid leans over the edge of a build, simulating him preparing to jump. 17
The message is repeated and repeated throughout the course of the song,
along with a very catch tune being played behind it. It is repeated so much that after listening to the song you would the name of the song would be “Put the past away,” or something the contains the word “ledge.” By not exposing the actual reason that the jumper has to commit suicide in the song, it opens up
the message to more than just homosexuals. It presents itself to anyone who may feel that they are different and that they don’t belong. It reaches out to those who are looking for a reason, a reason to
belong in the world that we live in today. That to me is what makes the moral of the song so powerful. Not only is it a great message, but it is directed at everyone, because let’s face it; everyone has had a problem in their life, whether it was being excluded from a small group of
people, or something as tragic as the death of someone close. For me, this song has a similar idea to Bill Withers song, “Lean on Me.” It may not have been derived from an event as devastating as a suicide, but it talks about a friend being there for another. In “Jumper,” the friend is directly telling his friend not to 18
jump and spare his own life. While Bill Withers is offering up his “shoulder� for someone, meaning that he will be there for them to help them get past whatever obstacles are in the
way. Both song provide a helpful message to a wide spread audience to help others get over a diverse set of issues. The message that Third Eye Blind portrays in their song is one that should be heard by everyone, whether they have a problem or not. So when they do run into
something that gets them down, they can remember that they are not the only person who is suffering and hopefully they can find the strength to get past it. Let’s face it, some things are meant to be left in the past.
~Ryan Smith~
19
20
Reader Response For my ad pitch project, I wanted to focus on creating something new, something that is not currently on the market. I wanted to also have an ad that will provide amusement to the viewer but also have them remember the product I am trying to sell. I will use a sarcastic testimonial approach to sell my product, SEnergy, to people who are looking for a little extra kick out of their energy drinks. With work days getting longer and finals coming up, the need for a little extra energy is increasing. Because this is a product will be sold using a comedic approach I thought I would use tactics from the WTF blanket commercials. This commercial is a parody of the Snuggie blanket, where it makes fun of people who actually buy and use the product. I plan to do something similar to people who drink a lot of energy drinks, because in actuality, energy drinks are very unhealthy for someone to drink a lot of and it can cause serious cardiovascular problem. By endorsing an idea in a sarcastic way, hopefully I can bring up the problems with energy drinks. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h05ZQ7WHw8Y
21
Also another ad I plan to use some ideas from is an ad I found for the drug meth. The product I am selling contains speed in it, so I wanted to be able to match the energy and intensity that is being displayed in this ad. In my ad I also plan to have the person talking be on the product were you can see the drugs taking affect and the uncontrollable energy kick in. Also I plan to have ridiculous ramblings going on from the person giving the testimonial. Hopefully by matching the energy and the absurdness of this ad, I will be able to make a commercial that is funny and entertaining to the viewers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7xNult1GVM
22
Reader Response For my substantial revision I chose to use the Op-ed draft. In my first attempts I was all over the place and was unable to give off a clear and common point. My argument kept switching sides and I couldn’t stick to a solid point of view which made my paper not only confusing, but very poor. To help eliminate this problem, I have narrowed the stereotype I will be talking about.
Going from the all-around college football player to just the academics of it and how these specific players from the TV show “Blue Mountain State,” are able get out of sticky situations despite their lack of intellect. I will also use points about how even though all college players are seen as “dumb jocks,” there are some players who do not fall under this stereotype, unfortunately they are over shadowed by those who do fit the stereotype. By narrowing down the topic, this will require less proofreading the previous draft and be centered around a new
paper in general.
23
Another part I will improve upon is analyzing my point and backing it up with examples from the show. Before I would just list the examples and summarize the shows instead of using the episodes to talk about how they support the point
that I am trying to make. This will help clear up the point I am trying to make and lead to less confusion for the reader. My conclusion for my draft was off point too. It was just a copied down version of my introduction and forgot to conclude anything removing its value.
By improving upon this, I will have a last chance to get my point a crossed to the reader and hopefully it will strengthen the argument that I am trying to make. By improving each of these areas and more, my paper will be more
direct, less confusing, and stronger, leading to an overall better paper that has been substantially revised.
24
Reader Response For my Op-ed I will be using the show “Blue Mountain State,” which is shown on Spike TV. “Blue Mountain State” is the fictional college Blue Mountain State’s football team, which is one of the top division 1 football teams in the country. The show shows us that you don’t have to be the smartest person in the world to overcome obstacles you come in contact with. The stereotype being portrayed throughout the series is the “dumb jock.” The show gives each of the football players their own “nerd,” someone who does all of their homework for them, and shows us that these players cannot function in the classroom without the existence of these nerds. A few shows show what happens when these nerds are removed from the players grasps. Also throughout the show, the players find themselves in ridiculous situations, but they have to find a way out of the holes they dig themselves into. Even though the solutions they come up with are unconventional, they still manage to get passed the hindrance and on with their lives. The comedic approach of exaggerated situations provides an entertaining premise that exposes this stereotype but also how there players are able to adapt.
25