Features State of the Academy

Page 1

A813th, Features May 2011

May 13, 2011 B Features

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Would You Use A Foursquare Arena Built Under the Den?

Percentage of Students Attending Moonlight Semi-Formal by Age

Wait, you mean Riley?

3% 12%

12% YES! 33%

Freshmen Lowers Teachers

25%

FOURSQUARE!!!

I am too intimidated by Seniors yelling "FOURSQUARE!!!" to join.

30%

85%

Do You Like Pacman?

CD: Happy birthday! Love cd. No Yes Fruit

HI KIDS!

How often do you watch porn?

9%

I have 3 Windows Open Now

How I had Sex

My Roomate Often Goes to the Bathroom…

3%

Doorless Parietal (Wincek Strikes Again)

26%

Under the Crew Docks

72%

6. Personal time + 4 cuts + Case of Ramen... Wait it out.

47%

3. Get infected with leprosy... its worth it in the long run.

76

80

5. Giant Hamster Ball 4. Carry a building around with you.

What do you complain about most often?

64

2. Get Senior Spooning cancelled. Everyone wins. 1. Never let petty things like doors stop

60 50 40

28

30 20

17

12

10 Number of Students 0 Work work

8. Run fast.

On the Crew Docks

In a crew boat

70

10. Jetpack

7. Attach your spoon to a baseball bat.

6%

I am the perfect Andover student, thus I have no sex drive and therefore do not watch porn.

Ways to Win Senior Spooning 9. Jet roller blades

21%

Please Don't Look at my History

16%

Top Ten Features Presents...

People Who people Complain who About Work

complain about work

Why Can’t I lack Fly?of

time

My roomate having to lights me on filltooout fire often. annoying surveys

Got a 5

having glass doors in Morse


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