A813th, Features May 2011
May 27, 2011 B Features
TT hh e eP P hh i li l il pi ip ai a nn
What Do You Love Most?
3
Have You Ever Used Drugs on Campus?
You try to stay awake during AllSchool without speed
5
Wait, you mean Riley?
18%
14%
That's just a flower vase.
12%
Friends
YES!
Family
33%
Is there a "maybe" option?
LAMP
FOURSQUARE!!!
38%
30%
25%
Why is there a unicorn on the keyboard?
97 I am too 30% intimidated by Seniors yelling "FOURSQUARE!!!" Have You Ever Commited Academic to join.
Why the Bad Grades this Term?
Dishonesty
I cite my mom on every paper…in 4 pt white font
9%
My teacher failed to grasp the depth of my work
10%
If you ain't cheating you ain't trying 44%
Terrorists
23%
29% Well, I wasn't going to go to Blue and Silver with him for free
67%
Does it count as cheating if I fail anyways?
18%
Top Ten
What Race Do You Identify With?
Features Presents...
112
120
Senior Pranks
98
100
84
80
10. Send out a school-wide email confirming that there is school the next day.
60 40
36 25
9. Release pigeons during ASM.
20 Number of Responses 0 Bosnian
Superhero
Hipster and/or Artsy
Smurf
Bro
6. Put laxatives in the Commons chocolate milk.
How Do Students Feel About Andover?
5. Do nothing. They’ll never see it coming.
230
250
210
200
175 Freshman 112
Lowers
105
90
100
8. Shoot said pigeons skeetstyle. 7. Senior skip day. Everyone overcuts. No one walks.
Race
150
Doesn't matter, getting recruited for underwater basket weaving.
Uppers
4. Kidnap Mrs. Chase. 3. Steal a PAPS car and install hydraulics + spinnin’ rims.
Seniors 50
20 2 Number of Responses 0
2
6
11
3
Get me out of
Ryley dances are
Will I ever sleep
here!
sweet!
again?
Response
2. Get a “Senior Sleep Over” approved by the administration. That’s a real prank right? 1. Hijack the Features section.