The Exonian
November 9, 2012
The Sad State of the Academy IQ By Time Spent At Exeter
The Exonian
How Exeter Students Spend Their Days
100
Not Frowning 1%
80 Alone 20%
IQ
60
Studying 40%
40 20
Playing Dungeons and Dragons 15%
0 -20
B5
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Star Trek Marathon on Spike
120
SOS
In Saturday Classes 4% Fall Winter Spring
Fall Winter Spring
Prep
Fall Winter Spring
Lower
Fall Winter Spring
Upper
In Class 20%
Senior
Exeter Problems vs. World Problems
Exeter Student Diversity Aliens .999%
Harkness Tables 10%
Mamas’ Boys 7%
99.99%
100
Cool Kids .001%
Sadness High Cholesterol
84%
80 Andover Rejects 34%
76%
Black Death
62%
60 46%
40 Exeter Students 21%
20
Who Cares? 27%
Percent Incidence In Exeter Matriculants
Number of Exeter Students Right Now* NUMBERCrying OF EXETER STUDENTS CRYING RIGHT NOW* *of the 93 who weren’t too sad to respond to the survey
80
Percent Incidence In the World
Percentage of Exeter Students Prone to Premature Balding
*of the 93 who weren’t too sad to respond to the survey
100
1%
0
Not Crying
60
Crying
40 20 0
State of the Weather Forecast Munday
Toosday
Whensday
The Sky is Crying
Raining Sweat
Smokin’ Hot
Hi: To the window Lo: To the wall
Hi: 420 °F Lo: Hyp0thermia
Hi: -272 °C Lo: 0 °K
Thersday
Fryday
We’re not in Walken Weather! Kansas anymore...
Hi: Fever Lo: More Cowbell
Hi: Yeah right. Lo: All the time
Saterdai
A Hurricane.
Hi ppos Lo mein