Philadelphia City Paper, December 16th, 2010 by Philadelphia City Paper

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MFA THESIS EXHIBITION

RECEPTION: DECEMBER 18, 2010 6 - 9 PM

Exhibition continues: December 18-21, 2010 and January 3-14, 2011

www.uarts.edu/smfa

Veronica Cianfrano, Jessica Anne Clark, Jess Cohen, Christine Colby, Renee Cortese, Martha Ferguson, Marshall K. Harris, Andrew Heisey, Michele C. Kishita, Sean Mattio, Lauren McCarty, Teresa Anna Palmer, Nancy Gail Ring, Andrew R. Walker, Matt Zigler Low Residency MFA Program in Studio Art - Application deadline: January 15, 2011

THE UNIVERSITY OF THE ARTS The University of the Arts Galleries

320 South Broad Street, Philadelphia, PA

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9 1 9,@563+: ;6)(**6 *6

By Brian Howard

³ HAD I DECIDED to turn in a few minutes earlier,

COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

last year was, at least according to some reports, about money. Trading for Roy Oswalt required Houston to pay part of his salary. Not signing Jayson Werth was about coin. Now, according to reports, Amaro “wasn’t going to lose [Lee] over $5 million.” The Phillies play baseball, but their owners run a mint. Three: Remember all those single-minded, almost troll-like commenters? The ones who, even after Oswalt was added to the fold, never let go of the idea of Lee nonchalantly catching World Series pop-ups against the Yankees? Who dreamed up scenarios in which Lee wasn’t going to take the big New York money and come back to Philly because, gosh darn it, he liked it here so much? Holy shit! The trolls were right! Has that ever happened? Does dark matter now become light? Does the Möbius strip snap? Do M.C. Escher drawings become real? The Phillies had lulled their fanbase into thinking their offseason was over. Monday, the team brought out the defibrillators. If you missed it — the panicked blogging, the obsessive Googling, the manic Tweeting — don’t worry. It’s just begun. (bhoward@citypaper.net)

contents Cookin’ and bookin’

Editor’s Letter .....................................................5 Naked City .........................................................10 Man Overboard ..............................................12 Cover Story .......................................................16 BQ Reviews.......................................................20 Arts & Entertainment..................................22 Full Exposure ...................................................28 Movie Shorts ....................................................30 The Agenda .......................................................38 DJ Nights...........................................................40 Food & Drink ....................................................49 I Love You, I Hate You ..................................53 Jonesin’...............................................................60

SNUS

WARNING: Smokeless tobacco is addictive.

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I’d have missed it all. It was a Facebook post by my friend Andrew that caught my eye as I was about to close my laptop for the evening. “So nice to have Cliff Lee back in Philly,” he wrote at two minutes past midnight. Weird, I thought: Is ol’ Clifton Phifer in town for an event? Killing time on a layover en route to New York for some kind of LeBron-esque announcement about where he’s bringing his talents? Dropping the puck at a Flyers game? The truth was the kind of shocker that, in a world filthy with pundits and a media landscape dominated by strategic leaks, just doesn’t happen these days. While everyone was convinced that the free agent left-hander was headed one of two places — The House that Ruth Built or Deep in the Heart of Texas — Lee called an audible. By deciding to sign with the Phillies for less money and fewer years than either New York or Texas were offering, Mr. Lee has, in essence, created a seismic shift — hell, he’s warped space-time — in this city, probably permanently. There are at least three reasons. One: In finally reversing his greatest folly (no, not the Raul Ibañez contract), GM Ruben Amaro Jr. has emboldened the chattering columnist class, who excoriated last offseason’s flip of Lee to Seattle for prospects as the follow-through of dealing prospects to Toronto for Roy Halladay; they will told-you-so this move ad infinitum — or at least until the Phils’ new four-headed beast of a starting rotation hits its first bump in the road. Two: No one can ever believe what the organization says about money again. Trading Lee

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CLIFF JUMPING

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We made this

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Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright © 2010, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public. LETTERS & SUBMISSIONS Letters should be brief and are subject to editing. Authors must sign their name for publication and each must contain an address and telephone number for verification, although neither address nor telephone number will be published. Unsolicited submissions are welcome but must be accompanied with a SASE if return is desired.

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city

EVAN M. LOPEZ

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AMILLIONSTORIES Broke the seal

emember Robert N. Coyle Sr., the slumlord and alleged fraudster who (under more than a dozen business

names) bought up a small empire of run-down properties in Kensington and Port Richmond [Isaiah Thompson, “Default Lines,” Cover Story, June 9, 2010]? The guy who, at the peak of the housing boom, took out enormous mortgages on gigantic packages of the properties, many of which were just abandoned shells? And who, meanwhile, was allegedly luring tenants with fake rent-to-own agreements? And who suddenly defaulted on his enormous loans, leaving behind a looming, massive, highly localized miniforeclosure crisis? He’s fine, thank you. At least, he’s still free: More than year after the Daily News first detailed some of the allegations against him, Coyle has yet to be charged with a crime. As far as anyone seems to know, he’s chilling in New Jersey. His old houses, though, are still right here. And in many cases, they’re just as much a blight on their respective neighborhoods as ever — despite the fact that some of them have brand-new owners. Take, for example, the house on Argyle Street. An abandoned, drug-ridden shell it was when my friend Jamie Moffett moved, three years ago, into the house next door, and an abandoned, drugridden shell it remains today. Moffett had originally figured he’d just buy the place, but it turned out to be bundled up with dozens and dozens of other houses,

mass-mortgaged to area banks for millions of dollars — money Coyle used to buy, and then mortgage, even more properties. After Coyle defaulted on the loan, the house on Argyle became property of Realty Capital Management, which, at least, saw to it that the place was finally sealed. When Moffett found the seal missing recently, he investigated again and found the house — and about 50 other nearby properties, some or all of which used to belong to Coyle, have been sold to a new owner, one “GCG Investment Inc.” Once again, the house has been bundled up with dozens more and sits vacant and unsealed, its owner a new mysterious company. As in the days when Coyle owned it, Moffett finds himself calling another unknown landlord who, like Coyle, seems uninterested in fixing the place up. Exasperated, Moffett, who would love to see such places fixed up and sold at low cost to actual homeowners, has begun making regular calls to 311 and the Department of Licenses & Inspection. Imagining a conversation with the owners, Moffett says, “If you’re going to fix it, fix it, but if you’re not, I’m going to make just sitting on it like this painful for you.”

If you’re going to fix it, fix it!

—Isaiah Thompson

FLASH FLOOD? The normally quiet neighborhoods of Roxborough and Manayunk have been besieged by the biggest, most elusive and oft-exaggerated inner-city bane of 2010: flash mobs!

You might recall that the phrase entered the greater Philadelphia lexicon in June 2009 and then returned early this year when young folks flooded South or Market streets, knocked over pedestrians, broke into fights, vandalized and injured some onlookers. Race seemed to play a role, though no one ever pinned down exactly what it was: The mobs, mostly made up of young black kids, hit primarily white business districts. Now, huddled masses of teenagers have spilled into the Northwest. According to the Roxborough Review, “unusually large crowds of people” — young people, that is — have been converging in the neighborhoods, late at night. The gatherings start out on the small side — a dozen or so people — and then suddenly explode into the 50s, 60s, sometimes 100s. The so-called flash mobs “appear” to have been organized via Twitter and Facebook, wrote the Review. And they’re getting worse: According to patch.com, they’re a “growing party trend.” Philadelphia University Dean of Students Mark Govani lent credence to the media claims when he called flash mobs the “most intensely difficult” problem >>> continued on adjacent page

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thebellcurve

police manhunt went into full operation in the neighborhood.

✚ A Million Stories <<< continued from previous page

of this type that he’s ever dealt with. And the Central Roxborough Civic Association held a meeting about them in early December. And yet, just as was the case in Center City and along South Street, debate remains heated over what flash mobs actually are and whether the new incidents fit the bill. “There is no flash-mob problem,” says Charlie Kline, community relations officer for the Northwest’s 5th District Police. “What happens is, a lot of college kids live here, and they have parties that are sometimes a problem.” Kline does admit that the number of parties has increased, most likely because more youth have been moving into the neighborhoods. Both issues have been recurring topics at community meetings for several years now. But the key difference, according to Kline, anyway, between Flash Mob I: Center City and Flash Mob Returns: Roxborough and Manayunk is simple. In the latter, “no one’s getting beat up, no one’s getting hurt.” —Holly Otterbein

MANHUNT Last week, excitement — if that’s the word for it — over the so-called “Kensington Strangler” reached fever pitch, with the Inquirer

and Daily News both running lurid front-page headlines about the supposed perpetrator of as many as five or more choking murders and assaults of women in and around Kensington, while a massive

What got significantly less attention, though, were small bits of information that threw into question the idea that these various crimes are, in fact, linked — or that the Kensington Strangler, such as he’s been portrayed, even exists. Police are clear about one thing: Two recent murders of women who were choked have been linked, by DNA, to the same person — and that person, as far as we know, had not been apprehended as of press time. But much of what gave the Strangler such vividness in the press was the idea that he may have committed three other recent assaults in which women were choked. And police are much less ready to make that connection. Last week, Lt. Ray Evers told City Paper he thought the media was “going overboard,” cautioning that many of these incidents could be unrelated. “We believe the three [assaults] are closely tied,” Evers says. “The two homicides are definitely tied. And the three assaults and homicides may be tied together. But this is [an area with] high-risk activities” — an area, in other words, where crimes like the choking of a prostitute is not, unfortunately, necessarily unheard-of. The idea of a single Kensington Strangler gets even more complicated. It turns out that police have already made one arrest and detained a person of interest in two cases potentially involving choking — but don’t believe either is tied to the two murders definitively attributed to the Strangler. These tidbits might not be very glamorous, but they suggest a subtler story about the regular violence these women face — that’s anything but breaking news.

CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ + 6 ] Pitcher Cliff Lee, who helped lead the Phil-

lies to the 2009 World Series, re-signs with the team. Hank Steinbrenner offers $120 million for a lock of Lee’s hair. “If we can’t sign him, we’ll make our own.”

[ + 5 ] Cliff Lee is rumored to have rejected the

Yankees’ offer because his wife was spit on and yelled at by New York fans during this year’s ALCS. Think about that, New York fans. Think about what this says about you, knowing what we all know about us.

[ + 4 ] UPenn Hospital announces it will soon

begin performing hand transplants. Penn: Pushing for better hand jobs since 1740.

[ + 3 ] Philadelphia philanthropist Linda Lee Alter

donates most of her art collection to the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts. “I guess that’s a better way to do it,” sighs the humiliated ghost of Albert C. Barnes. State Rep. Michael P. McGeehan accuses Arlene Ackerman of suspending five whistle-blowers who spoke up about the school district’s no-bid contracts. “I will convene the finest volunteer Red Velveteen Ribbon committee to address these claims,” says Ackerman.

[ -2 ]

To promote safer sex, the city’s Department of Public Health invites artists to design their condom wrappers. -(====8 heheheh

photostream ³ citypaper.net/photostream

[ + 5 ] Lois Fernandez, who founded Philly’s Odun-

de Festival, opens Osun Village, a $4.7 million complex for low-income seniors in South Philadelphia. “Just another salvo in the war on Christmas,” says Jane Q Philly.com Commenter.

[ + 2 ] Joan Carter becomes first woman president

of the Union League of Philadelphia. Next on the bucket list: its first tan member.

[ + 1 ] Five-time champion El Wingador announc-

es he’ll participate in the 2011 Wing Bowl. To a mostly empty Dunkin Donuts. At 11 a.m. On a Thursday.

HARRY BYRNE

[ + 4 ] West Philly’s Clete Shields is commissioned

to sculpt an 8-foot statue of Willie Nelson for the city of Austin. In the basement next door, some dude is doing the same thing for free out of neck beard clippings.

This week’s total: 25 | Last week’s total: 7

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[ -3 ]

—Isaiah Thompson

On spying one of three American bald eagles living in the John Heinz National Wildlife Refuge: “I was just spinning my head, looking up, and I saw it.”

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[ is the “mystery team” ]

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[ the naked city ]

manoverboard! By Isaiah Thompson

SCHMIDTYLEAKS ³ WHEN IS A city worker not a city worker? When he or she isn’t doing the city’s work! Right? Anyone out there? Hello ello ello ello? Man Overboard! isn’t the only one getting the ol’ echo effect. Last Friday, local Republican insurgent and former candidate for city controller Al Schmidt announced his newest aspiration: a bid to become one of three city commissioners, a group that oversees elections. But that wasn’t all of Schmidt’s news. Along with his candidacy, the would-be pol announced the results of two years’ worth of Right-to-Know requests which, he said, revealed public officials, and lots of them — Council members, state reps, the BRT, PPA, lottery — using their taxpayer-funded offices and equipment for political work. The evidence comes in the form of pages and pages of requests to the city commissioners to certify poll watchers at polling places. A meat-and-potatoes part of the political machine, poll watchers keep an eye on malfeasance, yes, but also on the voter log of who showed up to vote, and who didn’t. Requesting they be certified is a normal part of any election. What caught Schmidt’s eye, though, is that a lot of the requests came directly from public workplaces, on public fax machines, and via public e-mail. Schmidt calls this activity illegal, but it’s not so simple: The Harrisburg “Bonusgate” scandal, which ended in a scad of indictments, involved state legislators running a massive campaign office within the state capitol, paid for by taxpayers and powered by the labor of state employees — a no-no on a grand scale. The political activity Schmidt’s unearthed so far doesn’t seem to rise to anything close but may, in some cases, run afoul of state and city ethics guidelines governing political activities and use of public property for personal use. Not that you’ll see anyone bragging about it: On the contrary, everyone implicated so far seems to be squirming out of the spotlight. With the kind of collective “Uh…” of being caught playing solitaire at work, implicated officials began blaming inferiors: The chief of staff for Congressman Bob Brady put several faxed requests on “an employee who was not aware that doing so was a violation,” according to the Inquirer. Likewise Vince Fenerty, head of the Philadelphia Parking Authority, cited an employee who has been gone for 18 months. The office of Council President Anna Verna, to which Schmidt traces several faxes, denied having sent them, noting that a fax machine sits in the public reception area. The Office of the Governor, meanwhile, via spokesman Gary Tuma, declined to comment until the documents could be authenticated. Had they come up with a fuller response four days later? “No,” said Tuma. Maybe they’re all hoping this one will just go away, and maybe it will: There’s nothing particularly Machiavellian in this alleged mixing of public work and private politics. On the contrary, it all seems quite run-of-the-mill. Which is Schmidt’s point, and it’s not a bad one.

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Man Overboard! isn’t the only one getting the ol’ echo effect.

✚ Isaiah Thompson doesn’t even know how to use a fax machine. E-mail him

at isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net.

feedback From our readers

IT TAKES A VILLAGE Re: Isaiah Thompson, Man Overboard!, “Village Idiocy,” Dec. 9. THANK YOU!!!!! I have read about three other columns about [the Christmas Village sign] issue, and several letters. You were the only one who came close to getting it 100 percent correct. It is about separation of church and state. And you stated it very simply and elegantly. It was about “respect and sensitivity.” Not even the law professor from Villanova who wrote a piece in the Daily News got it entirely correct. I am not a “hater” because I believe in this concept. Have a Merry Christmas, if you do indeed celebrate the holiday. But above all, have a happy, prosperous and healthy new year! William (Bill) Michael Piccinni SOUTH PHILADELPHIA

The whole idea that Christmas is under attack and needs some kind of defending is so ridiculous it defies comprehension, much less belief. One cannot turn on a radio station, go into a store or exit from your home without being bombarded with Xmas music, decorations and wishes. That is, on this part of the planet. I don’t know what part of the planet the Xmas-deprived people are living on, but it’s not here. This is just another way to make

everyone angry and decide that anyone who’s for a modicum of decency and concern for the feelings of one’s neighbors (i.e. liberals) is downright demonic. And it works. Appalling. Yes, I’m Jewish, and I don’t like being made to feel guilty for not loving Xmas enough, and, obviously, I’m the Antichrist. StanShap V I A C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

WHAT I ATE ON MY WEEKEND VACATION [From Meal Ticket’s “Notes from the Weekend”]: I started out at my new neighborhood bar, Kennett. I drank plenty of Yards and had their cheese and meat platter. It was enough for two, but I munched on it all night. Saturday was spent hopping all the Christmas events around City Hall, supplemented by Brauhaus sausages and warm Holiday Spice wine at the Christmas Village. We hit Nodding Head for three Triples, then ... dinner at the Khyber. The pulled pork BBQ was amazing paired with Port Brewing Mongo DIPA. MellodyBrew MELLODYBREWING.COM

[Editor’s Note: Check citypaper.net/mealticket on Mondays to weigh in on our staff’s weekend foodie files and to brag about your own.] ✚ Send all letters to Feedback, City Paper, 123 Chestnut St., 3rd Floor,

Phila. PA 19106; fax us at 215-599-0634; or e-mail editorial@citypaper.net. Submissions may be edited for clarity and space and must include an address and daytime phone number.

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ “I KNOW WE’RE a little behind,” laughs Heshey Schlachtermann.“But it’s happening now.” The “it” is the legendary South Street live spot Dobbs that Schlachtermann and his (then) pal Hank the Drag Queen bought 38 months ago. They were ready to rock it just like Nirvana, Kenn Kweder, Smashing Pumpkins, Alan Mann and Robert Hazard did in the old days, but L&I wasn’t ready to give them a liquor license so they operated, kinda sadly, as an all-ages place. Dobbs wasn’t meant for Sprite, man. Now Hank is out, Schlachtermann has two new silent partners from way-up in N.J., the liquor license is up (“it’s nice to feel it in my hands”) and the newly named The Legendary Dobbs held a soft opening last Saturday (“with oldheads and young”). The hard opening is Dec. 18 with Carfax Abbey.“It’s all about the future now,” Heshey laughs. It’s nice to see Heshey laugh. Mazel tov. ³ Rumor has it that Anthony Sembello and old-school punk haven maven David Carroll (Hot Club) are readying an edgy boite on the periphery of the Rittenhouse area for an early-2011 opening. Think a gritty fabulous dive a la Guru,Bar Noir and Limbo.³ You know Scott Weiner,my photog bud who contributes photos to my online Ice Cubes on Critical Mass? He’s stopping by “The Art of the Beatles” art/memorabilia show at Montgomery Mall on Dec. 17. Weiner’s proudly showing off a photo of John Lennon that he took outside WPVI-6 studios in 197-blahblahblah. ³ I was premature on the opening of Mike Stollenwerk’s glass-front Fathom on E. Girard. Its zoning hearing is Dec. 22. Stollenwerk’s Little Fish (Sixth and Fitzwater) should open for New Year’s Eve. Speaking of holiday dining, chef Michael Solomonov hosts Zahav’s “Very Jewish Christmas” on Dec. 22 with Israeli-inflected Chinese food and ’80s flicks on a big screen. For $50, he’s doing my fave non-Catholic tradition — a Festivus for the rest of us — yet opening the door to those fans of Jesus, too. ³ Me-meme-media: WHYY’s On Canvas recorded newly Grammy-nominated organ-pounding jazz family scion Joey DeFrancesco’s weekend shows at Chris’ Jazz Café for a television special to air early 2011. NBC Philadelphia Nonstop, the recently started “local 24-hour news/lifestyle channel,” will do its own local-music-themed show, Music Box, starting in January. ³ First we see Vesuvio on Eighth and Fitzwater closed (supposedly they’ll reopen once construction on their above-restaurant apartments ceases), and now it’s rumored that the D’Addesi Bros. (Michael and Jerry, who own the place) involved in the famed Make U Famous film scandal revolving around ex-CP scribe Mary Patel is looking to file bankruptcy. Whoops. ³ Let’s meet at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

WHAT IS THE WHAT: Kelly Swiderski (left) stars in 2005’s What Is It?, directed by Crispin Glover (right). ROCKY SCHENCK

[ film ]

HIGHWAY TO HELLION Crispin Glover’s making an art of making audiences uncomfortable. By Shaun Brady

asting Crispin Hellion Glover in Hot Tub Time Machine was on one hand simply another of the film’s explicit winks at 1980s pop culture, referencing the actor’s career-making role as George McFly in that other time-travel comedy, Back to the Future. But his role as a menacing one-armed bellhop also acknowledged Glover’s ensuing quarter-century of oddball performances, Hollywood’s designated weirdo from the Thin Man in the Charlie’s Angels films to the Knave of Hearts in Tim Burton’s regrettable Alice in Wonderland. But Glover is the rare character actor whose creepy onscreen persona often seems less bizarre than his real-life image. Whether demonstrating his kicking prowess to David Letterman or recording unnerving covers of songs by Lee Hazlewood and Charles Manson, Glover’s image and work have long dwelled in some nether region between inscrutable and alarming. Perhaps its strangest, if least-seen, manifestation has been through his directorial efforts. The first two films of his planned trilogy both cast disabled actors in lead roles: What Is It? is peopled almost entirely by actors with Down syndrome, while It Is Fine! EVERYTHING IS FINE. is a thriller written by and starring Steven C. Stewart, who was afflicted with cerebral palsy and died within a month of shooting.

“Although it is written in the genre of a murder detective thriller,” Glover says via e-mail of It Is Fine!, which he’ll screen at I-House Monday, “truths of Stewart’s own existence come through much more clearly than if he had written it as a standard autobiography. I feel It Is Fine! will probably be the best film I will have anything to do with in my entire career.” Glover is upfront about the fact that much of his work in Hollywood blockbusters is undertaken in order to fund his own projects. It Is Fine! was largely paid for by Charlie’s Angels (finally, a justification for McG’s existence). “Charlie’s Angels did very well financially and was good for my acting career,” he explains. “I started getting better roles that also paid better. I have been able to divorce myself from the content of the films that I act in and look at acting as a craft. If for some reason the director is not truly interested in doing something that I personally find interesting with the character, then I can console myself that with the money I am making to be in their production, I can help to fund my own films that I am so truly passionate about.” His first film, Glover says, explicitly addressed his feelings toward the mainstream film culture that employs him. “What Is It? is not a film about Down syndrome, but my psychological reaction to the corporate restraints that have happened in the last 20 to 30 years in filmmaking,” he says. “Specifically, anything that can possibly make an audience uncomfortable is

“I can console myself with the money I am making.”

>>> continued on page 24

the naked city | feature

[ it’s all about the future now ] ³ novel

By now we’ve read enough headlines and watched enough disaster movies to expect an extinction-level event any day now. But won’t we be embarrassed if civilization ends not by fire or ice, asteroids or aliens, but by some dark-horse apocalypse we didn’t even see coming? This sounds like a job for Richard Horne, and his glossy, graphic A Is for Armageddon (Harper Paperback, Dec. 21). Yay. Now I’m afraid of animal zoonosis, food chain collapse and gray goo. Yep. Gray goo.

For a young guy from New Jersey, Eric Smith knows his way around the tart, wiry contours of 1970s NYC. The Geekadelphia co-founder’s witty rom-com, Textual Healing (AuthorHouse, Nov. 19), finds novelist/scribe support group attendee “Ace” Connor regaining his mojo by hanging out with someone less neurotic. Fans of Annie Hall and Crossing Delancey will love the smartly smarmy New York state of mind, while indie kids will dig Smith’s characters — like the gun-loving children’s book author and the floral arranger/ninja. —A.D. Amorosi Very cinematic, this.

³ book drive While you’re out browsing bookstores for readable holiday gifts, stop by the kids’ section to pick up something for Philadelphia Reads’ Holiday Book Drive, happening now through Jan. 17. The local children’s literacy champions have five drop-off points throughout Center City for folks to bestow new and gently used books to supply their Children’s Book Bank, a library that benefits underprivileged kids in citywide public and charter schools. Call their office (215-279-7450) for donation center locations. —Josh Middleton

flickpick

M.J. Fine does it again

—Patrick Rapa

³ launch party

“It’s nice to be liked/ But it’s better by far to get paid.” ³ WHAT THE HELL is Liz Phair thinking?

In her new book, Spit That Out! (Lombard, Nov. 4), Philly PR maven (and once-upona-time CP intern) Paige Wolf provides ecoconscious parents a one-stop resource on child-rearing in the “Age of Environmental Guilt” — from avoiding fast food and brainrotting television to the lowdown on cloth diapers. It’s getting launch-party treatment tonight at NoLibs’ Arcadia Boutique (Dec. 16, spitthatoutthebook.com), where guests can swap parenting stories, munch on green apps and win raffle prizes donated by local, eco-friendly boutiques. —Josh Middleton

[ movie review ]

TRON: LEGACY

Technology is so soulless.

>>> continued on page 26

blockbuster that threw wisecracking hacker Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) into a digital world ruled by dueling Day-Glo jumpsuit warriors. It’s maintained its luster for one reason: Personal technology is so soulless, we’re all starved for any conceit involving glimmers of humanity fastened behind the circuitry. Picking up years after Flynn’s abrupt disappearance, Tron: Legacy focuses on his sullen son Sam (Garrett Hedlund), loner adrenaline junkie/majority shareholder of his Microsoft-like tech giant. Sam repeatedly rejects requests from his sole ally, Alan (returnee Bruce Boxleitner), to wrest control of the company from the board’s greedy paws. Then, just like pops, Sam gets zapped by a teleportation laser and finds himself on “The Grid,” which, with its sprawling 3-D, Daft Punk-backed mêlées, is a touch more Matrix sexy than its predecessor’s graph-paper landscape. Flynn, it turns out, has been trapped inside the computer this entire time, betrayed by the CLU program he wrote to create a digital utopia. (Thanks to painstaking CGI, CLU is portrayed as wrinkle-free Jeff Bridges ’82, with few cheese-bot shortcuts.) Exiled after discovering a strain of beautifully flawed programs that hold untold power for mankind, Flynn’s suspended in iLimbo with platonic house guest Quorra (Olivia Wilde). Sam, hellbent on busting out, relies on his “User” advantages to combat CLU and his battery-powered goons. The visual power of Tron: Legacy is undeniable — director Joseph Kosinski’s treatment of the franchise’s iconic disc battles and light-cycle races will draw squeals on infinite loop — but remember, this is a Disney flick, one with muddled storytelling and puddle-deep character development. Bridges’ vintage Flynn is as satisfying as a nostalgic Atari session, but Hedlund and Wilde are mostly concerned with being pretty, and Michael Sheen’s turn as a lascivious club owner is just a half-assed impression of the emcee from Cabaret. —Drew Lazor

She faces that question every time she deigns to make music, even as fewer people care about the answer. It’s been a constant refrain, from her audacious 1993 debut, Exile in Guyville, which titillated and terrified music nerds who didn’t know that pretty girls could be could be intimidated and turned on by them, to 2005’s Somebody’s Miracle, which was so aggressively bland that it self-destructed in the memory of the handful of people who gave it a chance. Throughout, her lyrics teem with WTF sing-along choruses like “Fuck and run/ Fuck and run/ Even when I was 12,” “It’s nice to be liked/ But it’s better by far to get paid,” “Give me your hot, white cum” and “Uh oh, I think I’m a genius/ Uh oh, you’re being a penius/ Colada, that is.” You can draw your line wherever you want, but if you’ve gotten any pleasure from listening to Liz Phair, it wasn’t from watching her coloring within the lines. With Funstyle (Rocket Science), her latest fuckyou to music-biz scum and fans alike, she lures listeners with a carrot — 10 of her long-sought-after Girlysound demo tracks — then slams them with the stick. The new material’s a mess of contradictions, with the stress on mess. To give her credit, there’s some decent stuff here: vulnerable pop (“Miss September”), feel-good funk (“My, My”) and a chill thriller (“Bang! Bang!”). But the good’s jumbled up with the bad and the ugly. Which is the lesser evil: a few blah tracks produced by Dave Matthews before his ATO Records dumped her, or the label-baiting skits that don’t know when to quit? Depends whether you’re more partial to watching nail polish dry or a trainwreck. In Column A, there’s the noodly, needly love song “Oh, Bangladesh!”; in Column B, you’ve got “Bollywood,” a bhangra-

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[ B- ] ON PAPER, THERE are few things more dated than 1982’s Tron, the special-FX

GAME ON: Tron: Legacy will draw squeals on infinite loop for its visual effects, but Olivia Wilde and Garrett Hedlund’s characters are puddle-deep.

LIZ LEMONS

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✚ Liz Lemons

<28 9( $/5($'< *27 7+( 7$/(17

<<< continued from page 23

After mining Girlysound on Exile and Whip-Smart, Phair had moved on in her life.

Now earn the business degree designed only for creative professionals. Master of professional studies in the business of art and design

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rap hybrid. Either one’ll make your gut ache, but they’re both preferable to “Beat Is Up,” which employs Phair’s Valley Girlvia-Chicago whine to comic effect. A tragedy, really. But you can’t say it’s out of character. For comparison, check out “California,” the last track on Funstyle’s Girlysound supplement. Recorded in 1991 and reworked for 1995’s Juvenilia EP, it’s got the same basic building blocks as “Beat Is Up” — exaggerated accent, cracked humor. One was born in a suburban Illinois bedroom and the other in an L.A. studio, and neither is as charming as it thinks. More endearing are “In Love with Yourself” and “Love Song,” which show the singer at her bruised best — hurt and lashing out, with a keen sense of self-awareness. It’s clear why she felt she needed lo-fi goofs on “Miss Mary Mack” and “Wild Thing” to draw attention to her snippy snapshots of single life, but such curiosities are worth just a cursory listen. Nearly 20 years on, it’s a shame she thinks it’s still the best bait she’s got. Hard to believe, but her third album, 1998’s whitechocolatespaceegg,met with cries of disbelief and disappointment. After mining the Girlysound trove for nine of the 18 compositions on Exile and four of the 14 on Whip-Smart,Phair had moved on in her life. No longer the shy 21-year-old who was bolder in her lyrics than in her life, by 28 she’d earned two gold records, beaten stage fright, gotten married and had a kid. As so often happens,

[ arts & entertainment ]

listeners who’d identified with the romantic turmoil in her work felt left behind. In hindsight, it’s obvious that jealousy and projection played a large part in the negative response. Even if you didn’t know Phair’s marriage would fall apart within a few years, it’s impossible to miss the domestic discord in “Go on Ahead” and “Love Is Nothing,” or the seeds of infidelity in “Perfect World” and “Fantasize.” Only two of the 16 songs here date from the Girlysound days: “Polyester Bride” is such a perfect single it’s hard to believe Phair was allowed to hold it back for so long, while “Shitloads of Money” matches a sharp character sketch with a prickly chorus. They’re in sync with the rest of the record, in tone and in quality. The album’s populated with judgmental friends, dysfunctional families and liars of all stripes. But Phair’s never sounded better — her unadorned voice is strong and bright even as she sings about getting off on being mistreated on “Johnny Feelgood” and it soars as the self-hating narrator of “Only Son” slips down a shame spiral. (m_fine@citypaper.net) ✚ Liz Phair plays Thu., Dec. 16, 9 p.m., $32.75, with Chris Brokaw, TLA, 334 South St., 215922-1011, livenation.com.

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ALL GOOD THINGS|AAndrew Jarecki’s shrewd reimagining of the true crimes involving — or is it implicating? — Robert Durst, All Good Things is pretty stunning. The unsolved cases — the 1982 disappearance of his wife, followed by a pair of murders two decades later — are disturbing, but Jarecki’s assured presentation of the what-may-have-happened scenario along with some top-notch acting make this film electrifying. In 1972, David Marks (Ryan Gosling, as Durst) meets and marries Katie (Kirsten Dunst); their domestic bliss is short-lived when David bows down to his father and starts acting out in increasingly weird and violent ways. After Katie disappears, and David goes into “hiding,” his behavior gets downright peculiar. Gosling, in another intense performance, rises to the challenge of making David both oddly sympathetic and despicable. The film ascribes David’s damaged psyche to a childhood trauma and the “sins” of his father. The suggestion makes sense, and that’s what makes watching David cope — or not, as the case is made — so fascinating, irrespective of the actual/absolute truth. Jarecki coaxes an amazing performance out of Dunst, whose expressions unsettlingly convey Katie’s pain and fear. All Good Things is full of bad behavior, and yet, watching Jarecki unpack the pathology is what makes it all so riveting. —Gary M. Kramer (Ritz at the Bourse)

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THE FIGHTER|B+ David O. Russell may not seem the most obvious choice to helm another underdog boxing story (and, in fact, wasn’t; the project has bounced around for years, landing in the laps of, among others, Martin Scorsese and Darren Aronofsky). But while the true story of “Irish” Micky Ward (Mark Wahl-

berg) has all the makings of a Rocky-style “triumph of the human spirit,” Russell finds plenty of fodder for his more caustic imaginings in Ward’s family. The most monumental obstacles Ward confronts come out of being born into a large Massachusetts clan seemingly intent on undercutting any chance of success in the name of a delusional family honor. Chief among these is Ward’s crack-addicted half brother Dicky Eklund, the pride of their hometown for once having knocked down Sugar Ray Leonard (or at least shared the ring when the champ tripped). Christian Bale, who has spent entirely too much time of late growling his way through action-hero roles, plays Dicky as a goggle-eyed, disheveled dynamo, an ingratiating self-promoter whose never-ceasing line of patter bulldozes over his obvious bullshit. But the Ward-Eklund clan is a matriarchy presided over by the brothers’ imperious and manipulative mother (Melissa Leo), assisted by their seven sisters, portrayed as a gaggle of white trash gargoyles. Russell at times succumbs to a penchant for cheap caricature, indicative of the film’s uneven tone, never deciding between black comedy or hardscrabble drama. But he wisely shoots the boxing scenes with vintage video cameras and an actual HBO crew, which renders the fights with the distance of watching at home, keeping all the direct brutality within the aggressive messiness of life outside the ring. —Shaun Brady (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Main St., UA Riverview)

HOW DO YOU KNOW|BWhere’s the question mark? The literal one, in James L. Brooks’ ambiguously interrogatory How Do You Know, is missing, sure. But it’s gone in a figurative sense, too: For a movie about a woman who’s lost her career and a man who’s being indicted by the feds, nobody seems particularly bothered. Lisa (Reese Witherspoon), a pro softball player

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ADVENTURE.” Peter Travers,

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THE TEMPEST|D+ It seems appropriate that Julie Taymor is the creative force behind the much-delayed, mega-million-dollar Spiderman musical, the Broadway equivalent of a Hollywood summer blockbuster. Both the scale and the subject of the production seem more suited to the director’s hyper-aestheticized sense of spectacle, which always feels like an art-directed bludgeoning in movie theaters. Onscreen, Taymor comes off like the art house equivalent to Michael Bay, churning frantic entertainments out of the NPR crowd’s sacred cows — Shakespeare, The Beatles — the same way that Bay does for their 14-year-old grandsons. Even with talent like Helen Mirren, David Straithairn and Chris Cooper reciting

TOTAL FILM

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THE KING’S SPEECH|B+ Given that the awards buzz for Tom Hooper’s The King’s Speech started seconds after its first screening, you’d be forgiven for thinking the fact-based story of a British monarch overcoming a physical disability is an awards season special. Just add one widely respected but oft-overlooked actor and poof, instant Oscar. Mercifully, Speech’s approach is more down-toearth than the capsule summary might imply. As the soon-to-be George

THE 3-D MOVIE EVENT OF THE YEAR.”

VI, Colin Firth plays a reluctant royal, his anxiety amplified by the stutter that has dogged him since early childhood. With his father (Michael Gambon) ailing, Prince Albert, known to his family as Bertie, thinks he’s dodged a bullet. His wayward brother Edward (Guy Pearce) will ascend to the throne, and Bertie will live out his life in happy obscurity. Still, there’s that stutter, which acts up particularly around his domineering father, and grows bad enough for him to seek help from an offbeat Australian named Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush). A thoroughly emancipated colonial subject, Logue refuses to address the prince by anything other than his nickname, and rolls roughshod over Bertie’s attempts to rebuff personal inquiries. There’s no fixing his speech without the talking cure. It boils down, of course, to fatherson issues, as well as a fear of failure that spikes when Edward abdicates to spend more time with his American divorcée lover. From there, you could practically finish David Seidler’s script yourself. The trick is that rather than relying on trumped-up dramatic catharsis, Speech boils down to a series of head-to-head confrontations between patient and therapist. Rush’s flamboyance is tempered by Firth’s muted sorrow, and his character’s gradual opening gives Firth a chance to push past the boundaries of his own interiority. As the future queen mum, Helena Bonham Carter mediates between them. It’s a small part, but a welcome return to nuance after years of Tim Burton collabs and Harry Potter screeching. The King’s Speech ought to be the kind of tastefully tasteless fare that gives real cinephiles hives, but it’s too thoughtfully constructed to be mere Oscar bait. —S.A. (Rave, Ritz Five)

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I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS|C+ Bad Santa scribes Glen Ficarra and John Requa make their debut behind the camera with the story of a Texas con artist whose schemes were fueled by his love for his cellmate. The story has roots in fact — “This really happened,” an opening title informs us — but the duo’s arch approach is rootless, coasting glibly on shiny visuals and movie-star charm. Jim Carrey plays Steven Russell, and Ewan McGregor is his prison romance, no apparent relation to the tobacco conglomerate. Once the two meet, the film finds its footing as a lovesick farce. McGregor is released, Carrey breaks out and tracks him down, gets caught, in between passing himself off as anything likely to generate fast income and few questions. Carrey’s low-key performance is commendably camp-free, but without shtick to fall back on, he can’t get his hooks in; the last thing a gay professional con man should be is dull. —Sam Adams (Ritz at the Bourse)

“SPECTACULAR!

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just cut from the team, distracts herself with goofy, philandering Matty (Owen Wilson, reprising every role he’s ever played); meanwhile George (Paul Rudd) is being investigated for a crime he’s sure he didn’t commit. Their lives intersect on a blind date, and a love triangle with a predictable ending ensues. But the characters’ external conflicts are not only trumped by George’s crush on Lisa, they become completely irrelevant. Perhaps it’s because these two don’t deal with conflict like you and me: Rudd’s George is delightfully reactive — slamming his head against tables when he’s upset, flailing his arms when he’s frustrated, literally running away from bad news — while Lisa’s the kind of person who plasters motivational Post-Its on her bathroom mirror, and actually sticks to the lessons they advocate. Filmed in Philly but set in the D.C. area, How Do You Know lets its characters fall in love during the crappiest days of their lives. The question is, how do you know their happy ending isn’t just a Band-Aid for their bigger problems? —Carolyn Huckabay (UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

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the Bard’s lines, Taymor feels compelled to outfit The Tempest with attacks by ravens, bees and hellhounds, while Ben Whishaw corkscrews in and out of corporeality like a wood-nymph Gazoo. Shakespeare doesn’t appear to be the source for her visual fancies so much as an excuse for them, with each aspect amplified to such an extent that everything threatens to drown out everything else. The comedy (courtesy of Russell Brand and Alfred Molina) is not broad but shouted, the costumes suited for an Elizabethan Hellraiser, Eliot Goldenthal’s score a knockabout mélange of screeching rock, blaring jazz and insistent Philip Glass-isms. It’s such an unceasing assault on the senses that even after all the characters have been washed ashore, the titular storm never seems to stop raging. —S.B. (Ritz Five)

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TINY FURNITURE|B Put aside, if you can, the preposterous cloud of hype on which Lena Dunham’s first feature arrives. Forget the New Yorker profile, the Fresh Air interview, the development deal with Judd Apatow, and look at the film, and what you’ll see is a mildly ambitious, tonally uneven and occasionally inspired portrait of a young woman muscling her way into adult life. Fresh out of college, Aura (Dunham) makes an awkward return to spacious Manhattan loft owned by her mother, a successful artist, where her bratty younger sister bristles at giving up her “special room.” That Aura’s mother and sister are played by Dunham’s mother and sister (Laurie Simmons and Grace Dunham) is less revealing than the cavernous white-on-white space in which they live, a monument to privileged minimalism that lays Dunham’s haute-bourgeois cards on the molded plastic table. Dunham

doubles up on the Kubrickian chill by shooting in widescreen; when she and her sister talk through the wall of their adjacent rooms, they’re shot as if they’re in a dollhouse with the wall pulled away, each pressed against the edge of her own little box. But while her observer’s eye is acute, Dunham doesn’t have much insight into her characters. They’re sharply drawn, but they’re all edges. —S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

TRON: LEGACY|BRead Drew Lazor’s review on p. 23. (AMC Cherry Hill, Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Main St., UA Riverview)

YOGI BEAR|F Even among the decidedly limited charms of the Hanna-Barbera canon, Yogi Bear has never really been anyone’s favorite. The character, a picnic basket-thieving bear built on an Art Carney impression, is simply too shallow a creation to evoke more than a few chuckles over the course of a sixminute cartoon. The problem for a filmmaker tasked with translating Yogi and friends into a feature film, then, is how to build an entire narrative around such thin conceits. The answer, in this case, is to make Yogi a supporting character in his own film and to focus instead on the human denizens of Jellystone Park. But in knocking together the story of dedicated Ranger Smith (Tom Cavanagh), his documentarian love interest (Anna Faris) and the power-hungry mayor (Andrew Daly) who wants to auction off the park for logging, the creative team has taken a path as lazy and predictable as the old cartoons’ endlessly cycling forest. Dan Aykroyd does a passable impression of an impression as Yogi himself, while Justin Timberlake (as Boo-Boo, as always the sad sack voice

of reason) is around for no more than name value. This isn’t one of those modern-day, self-aware takes on a cherished childhood memory, meant to entertain the kiddies and throw some knowing self-referential winks at their parents. It’s simply a careless elaboration on a carefree original. —S.B. (Pearl, Roxy, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Main St., UA Riverview)

✚ CONTINUING 127 HOURS|B+ Devout outdoorsman/professional loner Aron Ralston (James Franco) finds the sticky end of solitude when he’s trapped at the bottom of a remote ravine, his right arm pinned by a loose boulder. Like a steroidal Into the Wild, the movie follows Aron to the logical end of his lone wolf lifestyle, leaving him with nothing but his wits and the contents of his backpack. It may take a while to recover from the movie’s stomach-turning climax, but that’s only because Danny Boyle succeeds so thoroughly in getting under your skin. —S.A. (Ritz Five) BLACK SWAN|AAlthough it’s set in the world of ballet, Darren Aronofsky’s movie hits a pitch that would normally be called operatic. Natalie Portman is provisionally cast in her first lead, but she needs to prove she can dance both white and black swan in Swan Lake. Portman, not surprisingly, nails the glacial perfection of the first, but it takes bad girl Mila Kunis to get her in touch with her dark side, which she does with a vengeance. As Portman’s transformation progresses, Aronofsky makes over her body, as well; she decomposes and renews in a manner worthy of a Cronenberg heroine. The trouble is,

Portman’s role too closely matches her own limitations. Even after the movie’s over, you don’t quite buy her as the black swan. —S.A. (Ritz East, UA Riverview)

BURLESQUE|D Film history is hardly lacking for small-town girls with big-city dreams, but Christina Aguilera’s Ali is inarguably the most easily satisfied of them all. That an aspiring singer would be so dedicated to making her name in a club where the talent doesn’t actually sing is the smallest of logical leaps that Burlesque asks viewers to make, but director Steve Antin seems more intent on forcing the film into the shape of an intentional camp monument than on making sense. —S.B. (UA Grant) THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER|B The Voyage of the Dawn Treader sets our puberty-stricken heroes out on the water, an auspicious setting that ensures any dull moment can be broken up by fanciful distraction. The trio’s tossed back into Narnia (via painting this time, not wardrobe), where they’re picked up by the suddenly bearded Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes), on a marine mission to see some lords about some magical swords and so forth. Family-friendly action sequences mostly make up for the movie’s shortcomings, which include ham-handed life lessons and a few forehead-slapping “Reminder: The lion is actually Jesus!” moments. —Drew Lazor (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Main St., UA Riverview)

FAIR GAME|A If you walk out of the theater seething

[ movie shorts ]

— at Scooter Libby, at Karl Rove, at the post-9/11 lapdog media — then Fair Game will have accomplished its goal. This is the story of outed spy Valerie Plame (Naomi Watts) and her exdiplomat husband, Joe Wilson (Sean Penn), famously getting screwed over by the Bush era. Its heroes are sympathetic, but hardly idealized: Wilson comes off smug and self-righteous; Watts, meanwhile, plays Plame like a woman shattered, her secret agent confidence giving way to depression and defeatism when her cover gets blown. —Patrick Rapa (Ritz Five)

FASTER A haiku: Check out this tagline: “Slow Justice Is No Justice.” Speed it up, justice! (Not reviewed) (UA Riverview)

FOR COLORED GIRLS|D Tyler Perry’s approach in adapting Ntozake Shange’s landmark play For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf is to build a conventional melodrama scaffolding on which to mount several of the original texts. Perry opts not to update the source, thereby retaining outdated segments like a back-alley abortionist, belaboring them with cartoon horrors. If Perry has finally found a way to meld his tastes for maudlin melodrama and broad comedy, it’s by turning the former unintentionally into the latter. —S.B. (UA 69th St.) HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1|B This is less a battle of sparkly-wand wits and more an effete college road-

Jim Ferguson, ABC-TV

“CUTER THAN YOUR AV-ER-AGE FILM!”

“RYAN GOSLING IS

ASTONISHING.”

THE HUFFINGTON POST

Francine Brokaw, Los Angeles Family Magazine

“KIRSTEN DUNST GIVES

A LUMINOUS AND GROWN-UP PERFORMANCE.”

INSIDE JOB|A Charles Ferguson’s new doc provides a remarkably coherent, galling analysis of the recent financial crisis, focusing on the lack of consequences for those who caused it. As interviewees respond to off-screen queries, the drama comes in watching them think through their answers, using their expertise to explain or obfuscate. The film insists on the culpability of individuals; that they are not suffering consequences is a problem Ferguson refuses to let alone. —Cindy Fuchs (Ritz Five)

RYAN

GOSLING

KIRSTEN

DUNST

FRANK

LANGELLA

magpictures.com/allgoodthings THEATRES EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT LANDMARK RITZ AT THE BOURSE STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17 Center City 215-925-7900

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LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS|B+

“OUTRAGEOUSLY FUNNY!”

Jamie (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a salesman who meets Maggie (Anne Hathaway) while he’s peddling Zoloft at a doctor’s office. She’s there to treat her early-onset Parkinson’s, and he’s there to make an easy buck. But despite Maggie’s stone-cold insistence that sex is all she’s after, they wind up sleeping together and staying together. At first it feels like small-ball for Edward Zwick, but Love and Other Drugs is surprisingly affecting. Turns out Maggie — just like the rest of us — needs somebody, even if it’s a bitter pill to swallow. —C.H. (UA Riverview)

-Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE

“A NERVY COMEDY! MR. CARREY HAS RARELY BEEN MORE-Stephen CHARISMATIC ON THE SCREEN!” Holden, THE NEW YORK TIMES

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENTS START FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17 CHECK THEATRE DIRECTORIES OR CALL FOR SOUND INFORMATION AND SHOWTIMES

NEW JERSEY RAVE MOTION PICTURES RITZ CENTER 16 900 Haddonfield - Berlin Rd 856/770-9065 SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS NO PASSES OR DISCOUNT COUPONS ACCEPTED

MOBILE USERS: For Showtimes - Text PHILLIP With Your ZIP CODE To 43KIX (43549)

STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17 - CHECK DIRECTORIES FOR LISTINGS

CENTER CITY LANDMARK THEATRES RITZ AT THE BOURSE 4th St N of Chestnut 215/925-7900

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NIGHT CATCHES US|B In Tanya Hamilton’s debut, former Black Panthers Marcus (Anthony Mackie) and Patricia (Kerry Washington) navigate the pitfalls of a post-radical life. The Panthers have petered out by 1976, but their militant rhetoric remains. Rizzo-era racial tension is omnipresent if never explicitly invoked, contributing to the sense that violence is only one wrong move away. Hamilton wants to reach beyond the art house, to people who’ve experienced stories like Patricia’s firsthand. Even undeclared wars have their casualties, and the scars don’t always show. —S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

A SPELLBINDING ” TRUE CRIME STORY. “

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FOR THE HOLIDAYS. IT’S BIG, 3D FUN!”

RIVETING! IT WILL KEEP YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT UNTIL” THE VERY LAST FRAME.

“

a&e

trip movie. A fuming Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), enraged by the death of Dumbledore, sets off on a search for the Horcruxes, soul fragments Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) has hidden to ensure he never really dies. Harry and his besties traverse landscapes magical and muggle alike, wearing oversize sweaters, sulking and bickering about which direction they’re going. Luckily, David Yates orchestrates a slew of exhilarating sequences that remind us why J.K. Rowling’s universe is so compelling. —D.L. (Pearl, Roxy, UA Grant, UA Riverview)

“THE PERFECT FAMILY MOVIE

FROM THE DIRECTOR OF “CAPTURING THE FRIEDMANS”

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[ movie shorts ]

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THE TOURIST

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TANGLED A haiku: The timeless classic Rapunzel — now rendered in dead-eyed CGI! (Not reviewed) (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Main St., UA Riverview)

The Tourist spends as much time with the watchers as the watched in the spy game, but here the former are nothing but interchangeable Scotland Yard functionaries under the command of a constantly frustrated Paul Bettany. The end result is that focus is repeatedly yanked away from stars Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie, and the

script contrives to keep them apart. Aside from one sequence set in a Venetian canal, meaningful glances and endless conversations take precedence over gunplay and movement, but this isn’t a thinking man’s action film so much as a dullard’s. —S.B. (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Main St., UA Riverview)

UNSTOPPABLE|BTony Scott, fresh off his last Denzel Washington train movie, brings his action-fiend eye to this satisfying tale of an unmanned locomotive that folks are having a bit of trouble stopping. Disregard screenwriter Mark

actually offers a number of solutions. —S.B. (Ritz at the Bourse)

Bomback’s lazy jabs at corporate avarice and you’ve got a real old-school meat-and-potatoes actioner here, one that takes best advantage of the shortcuts the “groups of people watching a disastrous event unfold” format provides. —D.L. (Pearl, UA Riverview)

THE WARRIOR’S WAY A haiku: C’mon, assassin, just kill this wittle baby and we’ll go eat cake. (Not reviewed) (UA Riverview)

WAITING FOR “SUPERMAN”|B+ Davis Guggenheim offers an impassioned argument against the neglect of the U.S. education system in his latest film, and while it inevitably recycles W’s famous “Childrens do learn” gaffe, Waiting for “Superman” is hardly partisan. He not only lodges complaints about the status quo, but

WHITE MATERIAL|AClaire Denis plays it relatively straight with the story of African coffee plantation owner Maria (Isabelle Huppert), who clings to her land despite an imminent native revolt. It’s not clear whether it’s determination, stubbornness or psychosis that keeps

EXQUISITE.

“

‘THE TEMPEST’ IS STATE OF THE ART JULIE TAYMOR, THAT IS, A STUDY IN THE SPECTACULAR.” REGINA WEINREICH, THE HUFFINGTON POST

REPERTORY FILM AMBLER THEATER 108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, amblertheater.org. Home Alone (1990, U.S., 103 min.): “I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass.” Poor Kevin. Sat., Dec. 18, 11 a.m., $9.

1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. Gremlins (1984, U.S., 106 min.): “Tell me something, Billy. How come a cute little guy like this can turn into a thousand ugly monsters?” Mon., Dec. 20, 7 p.m., $3.

THE BARD’S PICTURESQUE LANGUAGE FLOWS INTO A STORYLINE THAT IS REMARKABLY EASY AND ENJOYABLE TO FOLLOW. YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE YOU’RE LISTENING TO 17TH-CENTURY POETRY; YOU'RE JUST LIVING IT.”

BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE

STEVEN MARK, STAR ADVERTISER

“HELEN MIRREN IS AT THE PEAK OF HER POWERS. WHEN SHAKESPEARE IS DONE WELL, IT BYPASSES THE BRAIN AND GOES STRAIGHT TO THE HEART.”

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her behind, or whether her failure to recognize the rapidly changing circumstances around her is due to an act of will or a perceptual block. Even some Denis admirers have underestimated White Material due to its relatively transparent style, but its simplicity is deceptive. Like Huppert’s character, the film resists easy interpretation. —S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

THE BALCONY

“MARVELOUS! THE CAST IS FIRST-RATE.

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[ movie shorts ]

ROBERT BEAMES, THE TELEGRAPH

“DJIMON HOUNSOU IS TERRIFIC. HELEN MIRREN IS DEFINITELY OSCAR MATERIAL.

824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. It’s A Wonderful Life (1946, U.S., 130 min.) Mandatory holiday viewing, no matter how cool you think you are. Sat., Dec. 18, 11 a.m., $5. Open Screen Mondays Submit your film to be shown on the big screen. Mon., Dec. 20, 9:15 p.m., free. The Sound of Music Sing-Along (1965, U.S., 174 min.): “I can’t seem to stop singing wherever I am. And what’s worse, I can’t seem to stop saying things — anything and everything I think and feel.” Wed., Dec. 22, 7 p.m., $10.

CINEMA 16:9

THE COSTUMES, THE LIGHTING, AND THE PRODUCTION DESIGN ARE SUPERB.”

35 N. Lansdowne Ave., Lansdowne, 484-469-0169, cinema169.com. The Galaxy Invader (1975, U.S., 79 min.): A band of hillbillies chases an alien that crashed in their field, y’all! Tue., Dec. 21, 7:30 p.m., free.

ROGER FRIEDMAN, SHOWBIZ 411

COLUMBIA PICTURES PRESENTS A GRACIE FILMS PRODUCTION A FILM BY JAMES L. BROOKS “HOW DO YOU KNOW” KATHRYN HAHN COMUSIC MUSIC EXECUTIVE PRODUCER ALDRIC LA’AULI PORTER SUPERVISION BY NICK ANGEL BY HANS ZIMMER PRODUCERS JOHN D. SCHOFIELD RICHARD SAKAI PRODUCED WRITTEN AND BY JAMES L. BROOKS PAULA WEINSTEIN LAURENCE MARK JULI E ANSELL DIRECTED BY JAMES L. BROOKS

COLONIAL THEATRE

Buy tickets now at www.tempest-themovie.com

STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17 SORRY, NO PASSES

MOBILE USERS: For Showtimes - Text TEMPEST with your ZIP CODE to 43KIX (43549).

227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. It’s A Wonderful Life (1946, U.S., 130 min.): “Hey look, mister — we serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don’t need any characters around to give the joint ‘atmosphere.’” Sun., Dec. 19, 2 p.m., $8.

EXHUMED FILMS International House, 3701 Chestnut

A Family Friendly Evening of Mischievous Monsters A back-to-back

get a life...

FRIENDS OF THE PHILADELPHIA CITY INSTITUTE LIBRARY Philadelphia City Institute Library, 1905 Locust St., 215-685-6621, library. phila.gov. Falstaff (1979, Germany, 125 min.): A staging of Verdi’s only comic opera, conducted by Sir Georg Solti. Wed., Dec. 22, 2 p.m., free.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE

“JOLIE AND DEPP SIZZLE!!” Mosé Persico, CTV, MONTREAL

3701 Chestnut St., 215-895-6543, ihousephilly.org. The Searchers (1956, U.S., 119 min.): John Wayne plays a Civil War vet in search of his niece who was abducted by Comanche Indians. Thu., Dec. 16, 7 p.m., $8. Seance on a Wet Afternoon (1964, U.K., 115 min.): A delusional psychic tries to gain fame through contact with her dead son. Sat., Dec. 18, 7 p.m., $8.

the agenda | food | classifieds

monster screening fest featuring Troll 2 (1990, Italy, 95 min.) and Gremlins (1984, U.S., 104 min.). Fri., Dec. 17, 8 p.m., $10.

a&e

djnights

St., 215-895-6543, ihousephilly.org.

the naked city | feature

T R O R E G G A E G O T H / I N D U S T R I A L HIPHOPWORLDTRANCER&BUNKSOULD&BINDIEROCKELECUNKSOULD&BINDIEROCKELEC TROREGGAEGOTH/INDUSTRIALUNKSOULD&BINDIEROCKELECTROREGGAEGOTH/INDUSTRIAL HIPHOPWORLDTRANCER&BHOUSEROCKELECTROBREAKSTECHNOPUNKSOULD&BINDIE ROCKELECTROREGGAEGOTHNDUSTRIALHIPHOPROCKEGGAEUNKSOULD&BINDIEROCKELEC HIPHOPWORLDTRANCER&BUNKSOULD&BINDIEROCKELECUNKSOULD&BINDIEROCKELEC TROREGGAEGOTH/INDUSTRIALUNKSOULD&BINDIEROCKELECTROREGGAEGOTH/INDUSTRIAL HIPHOPWORLDTRANCER&BHOUSEROCKELECTROBREAKSTECHNOPUNKSOULD&BINDIE ROCKELECTROREGGAEGOTHNDUSTRIALHIPHOPROCKEGGAEUNKSOULD&BINDIEROCKELEC HIPHOPWORLDTRANCER&BUNKSOULD&BINDIEROCKELECUNKSOULD&BINDIEROCKELEC citypaper.net/djnights TROREGGAEGOTH/INDUSTRIALUNKSOULD&BINDIEROCKELECTROREGGAEGOTH/INDUSTRIAL HIPHOPWORLDTRANCER&BHOUSEROCKELECTROBREAKSTECHNOPUNKSOULD&BINDIE ROCKELECTROREGGAEGOTHNDUSTRIALHIPHOPROCKEGGAEUNKSOULD&BINDIEROCKELEC TROREGGAEGOTH/INDUSTRIALHIPHOPWORLDTRANCER&B

[ movie shorts ]

‘‘‘THE FIGHTER’ IS ‘ROCKY’ PLUS ‘THE BLIND SIDE’ PLUS ‘THE DEPARTED’ BUT IT’S MORE SATISFYING THAN ANY OF THEM BECAUSE OF ITS VIGOR, ITS AFFECTION FOR ALL THESE DAFT SOULS AND ITS SENSE OF HUMOR.” RICHARD CORLISS

SNEAKS UP AND

FLOORS YOU . PETER TRAVERS

THE CAST IS

‘‘

‘‘THIS IMMERSIVE MARVEL OF A MOVIE

”

DYNAMITE.” DAVID ANSEN

MUGSHOTS COFFEEHOUSE AND CAFÉ 2100 Fairmount Ave., 267-514-7145, mugshotscoffeehouse.com. Wet Hot American Summer (2001, U.S., 97 min.): A campy, refreshingly summerthemed romp about a bunch of camp counselors looking to do the deed. Mon., Dec. 20, 7 p.m., free.

L’Etage, 624 S. Sixth St., 215-5920656, pifva.org. Cinema Speakeasy PIFVA presents: Weekly screenings of indie media arts works and conversations with the cats who made them. Tue., Dec. 21, 7 p.m., free.

“THRILLING ENTERTAINMENT!!” .Mosé Persico, CTV, MONTREAL

WOODEN SHOE BOOKS 704 South St., 215-413-0999, woodenshoebooks.com. High School (1968, U.S., 75 min.): Filmmaker Frederick Wiseman documents the oppressive social issues dominating Philadelphia’s Northeast High School in the ’60s. Sun., Dec. 19, 7:30 p.m., free.

A FLORIAN HENCKEL VON DONNERSMARCK FILM

GK FILMS AND COLUMBIA PICTURES PRESENT IN ASSOCIATION WITH SPYGLASS ENTERTAINMENT A GK FILMS AND BIRNBAUM/BARBER PRODUCTION IN ASSOCIATION WITH STUDIOCANAL JOHNNY DEPP ANGELINA JOLIE “THE TOURIST” MUSIC BY

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Tue., Dec. 21, 6-8 p.m., free (RSVP to nicole@artintheage.com), Art in the

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The tinkers at Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction want to creep up your Christmas tree and reduce waste at the same time. Artist Beth Beverly is teaching a class on how to make taxidermy ornaments out of old fur coats (which sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll supply). The products of previous workshops have looked like a cross between Tribbles and a lucky rabbitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s foot â&#x20AC;&#x201D; only more elegant. Using metal chains and other adornments, the furballs take shape like fuzzy droplets when hanging from a tree. And since thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing holidayspecific about their design, these Franken-ornaments can easily become a part of any decorative occasion.

DO IT

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;A.D. Amorosi

[ arts & crafts ]

â&#x153;&#x161; TAXIDERMY ORNAMENTS

ing on shows like Scrubs and Arrested Development. And if a

food | classifieds

TUESDAY

NEW YEARS EVE 10 -11

[ film/food drive ]

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Eric Schuman Sat,. Dec. 18, 7 p.m.-9 p.m., $15, The Expressive Hand, 622 S. Ninth St., 267-519-2626, expressivehand.com.

[ the agenda ]

the agenda

paint their own ceramics (thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve already been beautifully crafted â&#x20AC;&#x201D; by somebody else), will feature poetry readings from TS POET and Angel Perez, plus a drum circle. If all the folks on your list happen to be accounted for, throw down your paintbrush and let â&#x20AC;&#x2122;er rip at the open mic.

Age, 116 N. Third St., 215-922-2600, artintheage.com.

the naked city | feature | a&e

likely due to the abundance of random ashtrays and lopsided mugs that elicit forced smiles and strained gratitude from their recipients. The Expressive Hand is at your potterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;swheel-averse service: The shopâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Poetry N Potteryâ&#x20AC;? event, in addition to letting participants

NEW YEARS EVE 10 -11

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NEW YEARS EVE 10 -11

the agenda

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a&e | feature | the naked city

NEW YEARS EVE 10 -11

foodanddrink

portioncontrol By Drew Lazor

REAL WRAP: The dosas at Philadelphia Chutney Co. come stuffed with all sorts of ingredients, from turmeric-tinted potatoes and savory dal to American cheese and spinach. NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

DOSA REALITY Philadelphia Chutney Co. streamlines the Indian street food experience. By Adam Erace PHILADELPHIA CHUTNEY CO. | 1628 Sansom St., 215-564-6446,

phillychutney.com. Open Mon.-Thu., 11:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-11 p.m. Appetizers, $2.50-$6.50; entrées, $5-$8

citypaper.net

>>> continued on page 50

he front door at 1628 Sansom swings open, swings closed. Frost-bitten buyers bustle in, bandaged like late pharaohs in long spools of scarves, entering empty and leaving with tall white More on: bakery bags tucked like scepters in the crooks of their arms. In Center City it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, but on this block of Sansom, it’s beginning to look a lot like the 11th Arrondissement. Except inside the custom-made, neatly creased paper sleeves, you won’t find French baguettes, but aluminum-foil envelopes containing sourdough crêpes called dosas, a specialty of Southern India that until recently were rare here. A black awning runs the length of the storefront, once home to Remedy Tea: “Philadelphia Chutney Company,” it reads, the middle word spelled out in blocky blue letters, a pair of curry leaves perched on the tip of the Y like an emerald butterfly. In just three months, owners Nirav Mehta and Baldev Singh have amassed quite the congregation. The youthful, candy-colored joint’s 100

percent meat-free — and vegetarians are, if nothing else, loyal. “There aren’t many vegetarian fast-casual places out there,” Mehta, an attorney by trade, explained during an interview, “and though dosas have been around for many years, we thought, why can’t we modernize them by developing a variety of offerings?” “Modernize” means instead of filling dosas (and their thicker, pancake-y cousins, uttapas) with traditional Indian goodness, they get a red-white-and-blue omelette station of mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, peppers and cheeses in various combinations. Though none of Chutney’s offerings include animal protein, carnivores shouldn’t stop reading. Prepared on two 48-inch crêpe griddles by chef Lokesh, who goes by one name, the dosas and uttapas are hearty enough that they’ll never miss the meat. MORE FOOD AND Carry-out business is brisk, but a smatDRINK COVERAGE tering of tabletops and stool-lined bar rails AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / make the shop a welcome respite from M E A LT I C K E T. holiday hordes. Order at the counter and have a seat. One of the lovely, well-informed cashiers will call your name at chow time. For such a young operation, Philly Chutney runs so smoothly you’d think its cogs were lubed with ghee. A big part of the reason is Singh, the hospitality side to the Chutney twosome. Like Mehta, he has a law degree, but Singh has spun the restaurant roulette wheel before. Currently, his portfolio includes his Aman’s eateries in East Norrington and Chalfont, and he tapped his network of Indian cooks to find Lokesh, who hand-grinds lentils and rice (basmati, jasmine and long-grain) into a flour that, when mixed with water, forms the batter base for the crêpes. The mix then ferments

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are unavoidable. But why not get a little history-buff workout on breaks from gorging? Food writer Dave DeWitt’s The Founding Foodies: How Washington, Jefferson and Franklin Revolutionized American Cuisine (Source Books, Nov. 16) takes a lively and erudite look into the culinary proclivities of the dudes on our money, from our first president’s immense brewing, distilling and farming prowess (he was among the first American farmers to adopt composting, and pioneered breeding mules for field work) to TJ’s passions for French wine, Italian cheese and Belgian waffles (the claim that the third president introduced them to America is unproven and controversial). DeWitt starts with early settlers’ first agricultural dealings with American Indians and moves into the dining habits of Colonial times, providing a number of original recipes along the way. (At last, you can bake Martha Washington’s fruitcake!) The author’s snappy recollections help foster the realization that food carried immense importance to the nation shapers, whether our forebears were simply sitting down to enjoy a meal or laying the groundwork for how we eat today. (Many credit Benjamin Franklin’s essays for America’s love of corn.) Philadelphia, of course, plays a huge role in The Founding Foodies. The City Tavern, replicated at Second and Walnut, famously adheres to Colonialera cooking techniques and was a site of innumerable handshake agreements and just as many hard-drinking evenings for the likes of John Adams and Paul Revere. DeWitt also provides the original recipes for regional classics like snapper soup and pepper pot, the tripe-and-calves’-foot stew that’s labeled “The Soup That Won the War,” due to American “baker-general” Christopher Ludwick sating hungry soldiers with it at Valley Forge. (drew.lazor@citypaper.net)

classifieds

³ BLOATED WAISTLINES THIS time of year

food

FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN BEERS AGO

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

f&d

[ food & drink ]

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

[ the week in eats ]

12 BEERS OF CHRISTMAS poured for me

“a Partridge in a Pale Tree” 12/10 Summit Pale Ale a partridge in a pear tree

12/11 Terrapin Brewery 2 turtle doves JG Domestic Battle Sparkling Wine Dinner

Through Dec. 30, $65-$90 ³ In honor of his recent bubblybased Iron Chef America victory, Jose Garces is offering his winning dishes to the public for the first time. Guests can enjoy seared diver scallop with sparkling wine hollandaise and sparkling wine soubise, Prosecco-braised rabbit leg and more. For an additional $25, pair up your courses with various sparklings. JG Domestic, Cira Centre, 2929 Arch St., 215-222-2363, jgdomestic.com. Sixpoint Brewing’s Mad Scientist Series Dec. 13-

12/12 Duchesse De Bourgone 3 french hens 4 calling birds

12/14 Allagash Tripel

A Very Jewish Christmas at Zahav Wed., Dec. 22, 6

12/18 Stoudt’s Scarlet Lady

—Rachel Burgos

citypaper.net/ mealticket

6 geese-a-laying

12/16 Duck Rabbit 7 swans-a-swimming

12/17 Lancaster Milk Stout 8 maids-a-milking 9 ladies dancing

12/19 St. Somewhere Pays De Soleil 10 lords-a-leaping

12/20 Otter Creek Stove Pipe Porter

Chosen Top 100 Chinese restaurant in the U.S.A for 2008 and 2009 by Chinese Restaurant News.

Tai Lake Chinese Restaurant Great Food - Best Prices Best Seafood in Chinatown

11 pipers piping

12/21 Troegs Mad Elf 12 drummers drumming

Each day is a gift from us to you

... ONLY $4 EACH NIGHT!!!

Banquet Room

120 Guests Capacity Karaoke & Dance Floor Open 7 days a week 4:00 PM to 3:00 AM 215-922-0698

(everything left over will also be $4 on December 22-24th) www.tailakeseafoodrest.com

134 N 10th St. Philadelphia, Pa 19107

1701 Locust St. Philadelphia PA 19103 | (215)789-6316

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Dec. 15-24, $65-$90 ³ Peter Woolsey will give a Gallic shout-out to his Burgundian in-laws with this five-course feast, his interpretation of the French tradition of an elaborate meal to celebrate Christmas. The dinner, which has a wine-pairing option, will feature dishes like Burgundy snails with Chartreuse-herb butter; seared venison; and a traditional Bûche de Noël. Bistrot La Minette, 623 S. Sixth St., 215-925-8000, bistrotlaminette.com.

Food news, recipes, menu exclusives

5 golden rings

12/15 Weyerbacher XV

French Christmas Dinner at Bistrot La Minette

Let the feeding frenzy begin.

12/13 Eel River Raven Stout

23, various locations, pay as you go ³ Sixpoint’s “Mad Scientist” line of limited, oddball, draft-only beers has begun invading Philly. The first in the series from the Brooklyn brewery is the 9.4 percent ABV Spelt Wine, a barleywine that features spelt introduced into the brewing process. The tapping schedule is as follows: Fri., Dec. 17, 5 p.m., at El Camino Real; Sat., Dec. 18, 2 p.m., at Village Whiskey; Mon., Dec. 20., 7 p.m., at Grey Lodge Pub; and Tue., Dec. 21, 7 p.m., at City Tap House. For more info, visit sixpoint.com. and 8:30 p.m., $50 ³ Michael Solomonov has creatively reworked a Jewish tradition into a fun evening for all faiths. He’ll be turning the takeout-and-a-movie standby, popular with Jewish families on Dec. 25, into an evening of Israeli-influenced Chinese cuisine and classic films from the ’80s. (The titles are top-secret.) The menu will feature eight different items, including wonton soup with Yemenite curry and veal dumplings; and Persian fried rice with smoked pork belly. Zahav, 237 St. James Place, 215-625-8800, zahavrestaurant.com.

food

on the 1st day of Christmas

classifieds

J A M E S “A N S E L A D A M S ” N A R O G

✚ WHAT’S COOKING

gracetavern.com

ALL DAY HAPPY HOUR CHRISTMAS EVE!

27 31

By Matt Jones

“IN A HOTSPOT” — THEY’RE CONNECTING WIRELESSLY, SORTA

market place

ADOPTION

ADOPT: Happily married, creative couple promises love, cozy home & vacation cabin, stay-at-home mom, big extended family. Expenses paid. www.CuddlyHome. com Marrianne/Dan 1-877739-6889. PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION?

Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293.

Public Notices CLASSICAL HOLIDAY CONCERT

First Presbyterian Church Friday December 17th @ 8PM 201 South 21st Street

✚ ACROSS

21 22 23 26 29 30 31 32 33 35 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 51 52 53 57 59

“Switched on Bach” synthesizer Diamond stat Jack on “24” Sony co-founder Morita Fine and dandy Bring into harmony What some things catch on like Candle store choices They can get busy during the winter and summer Half a dance step? Badminton divider Figures in early Salem history The Rent Is Too ___ High Party “I had too much root beer” noise Carson Daly’s former MTV show Late singer Cassidy Airport readerboard abbr. Counters in China XP protection Frodo’s home, with “The” Some Monopoly spaces: abbr. Mauna ___ “___ see it...” Ending for Scooby or Scrappy Space starter Steadfastly Pres. during V-J Day Suffix for McCarthy Least likely to speak up Mizrahi and Asimov Swimmer with large pectoral fins

✚ DOWN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 18 21 24 25 26 27 28 32 33 34 36

Bryn ___, PA “The Grapes of Wrath” extra Aromatherapist’s supply Sink Singer Bonnie Russian soups Tina’s ex “Seven Whole Grains on a Mission” cereal “No way!” It comes between printemps and automne Carnival food Put in data Takes a load off Part of TGIF Ozone layer pollutant, briefly Avoided capture by Play Pictionary Drops on the lawn Hertz competitor Vermouth drinks Ram’s ma’am “___ longa, vita brevis” Robert who played A.J. Soprano Trade gossip

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION

AUTOS WANTED

D O N AT E V E H I C L E R E CEIVE $1000 GROCERY COUPON. NOAH’S ARC SUPPORT NO KILL SHELT E R S , R E S E A R C H TO ADVANCE VETERINARY TREATMENTS. FREE TOWING, TAX DEDUCTIBLE. NON-RUNNERS ACCEPTED 1-866-912-GIVE.

Business Services EMPLOYMENT LAW ATTORNEY

- E m p l oye r Tr e a t i n g Yo u Unfairly? -Contesting your unemployment benefits? -Harassing you after being hurt on the job? -Age, sex, race or disability discrimination? -Fired you after telling them you’re pregnant? -Providing bad references? -Interfering with family & medical leave rights? -Canceled your health insurance coverage Call attorney Marc E. Weinstein 215.953.5200 or send an email to Marc@ MEWeinsteinLaw.com Read about him here: http://www. superlawyers.com/pennsylvania/lawyer/Marc-E-Weinstein/d117f8fe-da0a-466ba079-79efe05c9263.html

SPRING GARDEN INDOOR

!NTIQUE 6INTAGE (OLIDAY &LEA -ARKET This Sat, Dec, 18th Indoors At 9th & Spring Garden Streets 8 AM til 4 PM

Over 60 Vendors Featuring Antiques, Collectibles, Vintage Clothing,Furniture, Jewelry, Glassware, Pottery, & Much More!

SWAPCAFE.COM

Come join us! Trade your stuff, your skills, your inventory. Submit via SwapCafe.net for personal swaps or SwapCafe. com for B2B. Good luck trading! Questions to Info@SwapCafe. Net

Auditions/ Casting Calls FASHION FIT MODEL CASTING

female fit model Part-time position, two days per week: WED 9:30-3:00, THURS 10:00-3:30, Hourly pay rate START:Jan 2011, Submit your measurements & a full-length photo to cag48@drexel.edu to set up interview. MEAS: HT 5’9” to 5’10”, BUST: 35”, WAIST: 24-25”, HIP: 34-36” APPLY: send email & full length photo EMAIL: cag48@ drexel.edu/ “FIT MODEL” in the subject line

Lessons & Workshops BARTENDING CERTIFICATION

Looking for a career that’s fun AND lucrative? Bartending may be the career for you! Authentic Bartending offers hands-on training to teach you the ins, outs, and secrets of bartending. Upon completion of the course, you will receive your bartending certificate and access to our job placement database. Call and speak to one of our trained career specialists today! (1-800836-3227)

Business Opportunity BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

Frac Sand Haulers with com-

plete rigs only. Tons of Runs in warm, flat, friendly and prosperous Texas! Great company, pay and working conditions. 817769-7621, 817-769-7713. WANTED TO BUY:

Antique Furniture, Antiques and Old Furniture Jewelry, Broken Or Good Condition Gold & Silver Coins Call Walt, any time at 215275-2048

Garage Sales FREE CLOTHING & FURNITURE

December 8,2010 ILove2donate@earthlink.net 215-4398206 Rivera Recreation Center DONATIONS NEEDED/ FREE PICK UP Free clothes and small furniture perfect for everyone including college students, families, teens and kids will have something for everyone please help out and donate gently used items that you no longer want we pick up free and fast

For Sale BODY-WORN HIDDEN CAMERAS

http://www.dpl-surveillanceequipment.com/body-worn_ h i d d e n _ c a m e ra s. h t m l … [more] BUG-DETECTION EQUIPMENT

http://www.dpl-surveillanceequipment.com/detection_ devices.html COVERT AUDIO DEVICES RENT

http://www.dpl-surveillanceequipment.com/listening_ devices.html *FREE UGG BOOTS*

*Free Ugg Boots* Get 1 pair of Ugg Boots for free. Limit 1 per household. http://minyurl. org/freeuggs GPS TRACKER (RENTALS)

http://www.dpl-surveillanceequipment.com/tracking_devices.html NANNY CAMERA RENTALS

http://www.dpl-surveillanceequipment.com/dvr_based_ hidden_cameras.html

RASCO

AUTO SALVAGE TOP $$$ FOR COMPLETE

JUNK CARS & TRUCKS

Free Towing Same Day Used Vehicles and Parts for Sale 267-972-1398. 215-744-2131 Fax 3711 Sepviva Street Philadelphia, PA. 19137

Plenty Of On-Site Free Parking & Free Admission Handicap Accessible ATM On Premises

More Info:

215 - 625 - FLEA (3532)

LOG ONTO www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org FOR OUR ENTIRE FALL / WINTER SCHEDULE USE 820 SPRING GARDEN ST, 19123 FOR GPS DIRECTIONS

GENTLY MOVING YOUR EARTHLY POSSESSIONS

215.670.9535

WWW.MAMBOMOVERS.COM

58 59

Where germs usually enter Tyson’s ring nickname Buddhist near Thailand “The Chronic” rapper Dr. ___ Request Move like a top Subscription unit “___ die for!” Really really tiny Line section: abbr. Dublin’s land Job application nos. “Sons of ___” (Digital Underground song) Capone and Green Panda Express kitchen fixture

Softail FLSTF FatBoy, asking $2980, 96ci twin, contact for pictures and details eddft75@msn.com / 484443-2524.

I am a certified Reading Specialist available to tutor children and adults diagnosed as dyslexic and/or reading below grade level. I will target such areas as: comprehension, letter and word recognition, and fluency. Tutoring sessions will occur three times a week, at a local library.The fee per session will be 30.00. Please contact me if you are interested or have any questions. My e-mail address is atecosky@verizon.net.

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2007 HARLEY-DAVIDSON

READING TUTOR

classifieds

Adopt: A wonderful life filled with love, devotion and happiness awaits your newborn. Financially secure with extended family. Expenses paid. Please call Rosanne: 1-800755-5002.

Little stream Gives it a thumbs-up Writer Sarah ___ Jewett Not as much Important Answer, as to an invitation: abbr.

Motorcycle

Automotive Marketplace

Adoptions

60 61 62 63 64 65

Tickets are $15 Please call 215-370-8007

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

jonesin’

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

PERSONAL PROTECTION

http://www.dpl-surveillanceequipment.com/personal_ protection5.html SEPTA TRAILPASS ANYWHERE

Must sell a Septa monthly trailpass to anywhere for female only (month of December). Asking $150 but will consider reasonable offers! SIM CARD READER (PRO)

http://www.dpl-surveillanceequipment.com/800048889. html SPY / GADGETS (BUY OR RENT)

http://www.dpl-surveillanceequipment.com

Health Services A HOLIDAY GIFT FOR YOU

Unleash the potential of your mind and start living the life you want and deserve today through the power of hypnosis. Hypnosis can help you with: Smoking, Confidence, Anxiety, Phobias, Weight Control, And So Much More! Your experience with our hypnotherapist will be comfortable, professional, and profound. And for the month of December take advantage of a 10% discount on your session. This our way of saying thank you to all of our clients and friends. When your ready to make quick and long lasting changes in your life so that you can be happier, healthier, and maybe even a little wealthier call and make your appointment with Jessica Marion C.Ht. at (215)751-0344

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jobs

Help Wanted AIRLINES ARE HIRING:

Train for high paying Aviation Maintenance Career. FAA approved program. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance (888) 834-9715. AIRLINES ARE HIRING:

Train for high paying Aviation Maintenance Career. FAA approved program. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance (888) 834-9715. EMPLOYEES SOUGHT

PART-TIMER ACCOUNT REPRESENTATIVES, SALES PAYMENT REPRESENTATIVES, AND BOOKKEEPERS. COMPUTER LITERACY, 1-2 HOURS OF INTERNET ACCESS WEEKLY, EFFICIENCY, AND DEDICATION REQUIRED. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED OR WOLD LIKE FURTHER INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT lloyd1870@gmail.com. $$$ HELP WANTED $$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com. HELP WANTED DRIVER

CDL-A Drivers: Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Never Looked Better! Our package of benefits is the best itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ever been.

Pay,Bonuses, Miles, Equipment. $500 Sign-On For flatbed, CDLA, 6mo. OTR.Western Express. 888-801-5295. HELP WANTED DRIVER

SMITH TRANSPORT *CLASS A CDL DRIVERS* *Excellent! *Consistent home time *Great pay/benefits. 877-432-0048 www.smithdrivers.com. JOB/BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

HELP CUSTOMERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SAVE MONEY ON ELECTRIC BILL. NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY 646-226-2915 MOVIE EXTRAS

earn up to $150/day to stand in backgrounds of major film. Experience not required. CALL NOW! 1-888-664-0062. PAID IN ADVANCE!

Make $1,000 a Week mailing brochures from home! Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram.net.

real estate

Âł

ELKINS PARK TUDOR TWIN

Move-in ready! 20 minute commute to Center City $199,900. Four bedrooms, refinished parquet floors, updated kitchen and bath, new windows, gardens front and back.

Land/ Lots for Sale CENTER CITY LOT FOR SALE:

2333 ellswor th st. phila., pa.....price 55,000.....any question ??????????call 2159178348 LAND FOR SALE

Potter County - 4 acres near Galeton, Pine Creek frontage, flat, wooded, utilities, in-ground perc. Close to Ski Denton, state forest. $59,900. Owner financing.800-6688679. LAND LIQUIDATION

20 acres, $0 down, $99/moth. Only $12,900. Near growing EL Paso, Texas. Guaranteed owner financing. NO CREDIT CHECKS! Money back guarantee. FREE Map/pictures. 866-257-4555 www.sunsettanches.com.

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rentals

Homes for Sale 30,000 HOUSE FOR SALE:

4310 old york rd. phila., pa..... asking price 30K or best offer.....3bdrm, 1bath..... needs fixing.....any question call 2159178348

Apartments for Rent $1375 ROOMMATE STYLE - 2 BD

Immediate move in. First floor

location. Two bedroom / two bath. Roommate style. Private entrance - full size w/d - parking included. 1 mile to train - across from driving range 215.482.4889 theglenapartments.net Sign a 12 month lease - get January free! HOLIDAY PROMO - $1095 - 1X1

Private entrance leads to one bedroom one bath design. Breakfast counter, full kitchen, laundry room off bathroom. First floor convenience - rent includes parking. 1 mile to train - across from driving range *Call now to ask about free rent offers! 215.482.4889 ROOMMATE STYLE 2 BD/2 BATH

Convenient first floor two bedroom two bath. Discounted $200.00 a month to $1375.00. Sign a new twelve month lease and get December free! Parking and cardio room included. 215.482.4889 1 mile to train - 2 mile to Main Street Manayunk - across from driving range

One Bedroom 15TH/SPRUCE

Beautiful Art Deco High-rise 1Bdrm Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitch, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! From $1080/Mo. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789. 15th/Spruce: Huge 1Bdrm in Beautiful Brownstone, Large Rooms, Abundant Closet Space, Moder n Kitchen, Walk-In Cedar Closet, Laundry, Intercom Entry. $955/Mo. 215-735-8030. lic# 380139

Two Bedrooms ART MUSEUM

Renovated 2 bedroom with den, air, washer & dryer and hardwood floors! $800â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215-922-3400 BREWERYTOWN

62 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

D E C E M B E R 1 6 - D E C E M B E R 2 3 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

2 bedroom apartment with hardwood floors and air conditioning! Big kitchen! $600 Locators 215-922-3400 CEDAR PARK

Negotiable lease! 2 bedroom

!" ! #$ ! % & #!'"($)" #! *#( " + , ---. & " // " ! ! * "' #* #, #&! (' 01

'" 2 #(! ( 3 / #, ' "# #,0/ " " ' $4$( #,,$! " . 215 " '. 2 ( 6(##,'. #! 72 (8 ( 3 & 9 : ( . & " ( 3 " !"( !) !"# #, 1 + * . :( ! #,,$! " 6; ) !" "# < (=. #!3 ! !" "# (0#(". +0#("' #,0/ 4. ", ! ( 6 . # # ' //#& 61

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duplex, nice deck and off street parking! $500â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215-922-3400 Large 2 bedroom 21st & Cherry Brand New First Floor, Patio $1,600 a month Call 610-322-5460 MANAYUNK

Renovated 2 bedroom house apartment near transportation! Patio and hardwood floors! $600â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215922-3400 MOUNT AIRY

Renovated historic 2 bedroom duplex on the first floor with off street parking! $500â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215-922-3400 OXFORD CIRCLE

2 bedroom apartment near park! Big kitchen! No credit check! $600 Locators 215922-3400 PENNYPACK PARK

2 bedroom apartment with parking! Appliances! Storage! Air conditioning! $600â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215-922-3400 SPACIOUS 2 BEDROOM - PORT RICHMOND

C/A, W/D, Private Courtyard, Newly Remodeled, Available January 1, $900/mo, 215752-2074. TEMPLE

2 bedroom apartment with a fenced yard! Pets ok! Negotiable lease! No credit check! $600 Locators 215922-3400

Three+ Bedrooms House for rent in Upper Olney 3 Bedroom, 1 Bath, basemant and garage Only for $ 750 per month If you need more information call 215-745-0101 RITTENHOUSE SQUARE

Enormous 3bdrm w/ 2 Full Baths in Beautiful Historic Brownstone, Full Size Washer/ Dryer in Apt, HW Flrs, 2 Decorative Fireplaces, Hi Ceilings, Newly Remodeled Kitchen w/ Granite Countertop, Separate Dining Rm, Living Rm, & Fam-

ily Rm, A/C, Spacious Rooms, Terrific Location! $2650/Mo. 215-735-8030. #216850

SOUTH PHILADELPHIA

Have pets??? 5 bedroom 2 story house! Parking and hardwood floors! $700â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215-922-3400

Sublets TEMPLE U SUBLET SPRING 2011

Looking for someone to take over lease in a 4br 2bath newly constructed apartment. Apt is shared by 3 other male Temple U students and rent is $600 plus utilities. Available immedietely and Dec rent is already paid for. Lease ends Aug 1st. Please email if interested

Homes CEDAR PARK

3 bedroom 2 story house with rent to own option! No credit check required! $850 Locators 215-922-3400 FISHTOWN

Single house! Yard, near transpor tation, patio, big kitchen! $800 Locators 215922-3400 FRANKFORD

3 bedroom single house with deck and garage! Basement and pets are ok! $800 Locators 215-922-3400 LOGAN

No credit check! Huge 4 bedroom 2 story home with basement and den! Pets are ok! $800 Locators 215-9223400 OXFORD CIRCLE

3 bedroom 2 story house with a yard! Parking and full basement! $800â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215-922-3400 PENNSPORT

7 rooms 2 bath 2 story home with patio and parking! Nice yard and hardwood floors! $800â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215-9223400 PORT RICHMOND VICINITY

3 bedroom house with hardwood floors, nice yard and pets are ok! $900â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215-922-3400 QUEEN VILLAGE

$1200â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215-9223400

Gorgeous 4 bedroom 3 story house! Fireplace and yard!

TEMPLE

Negotiable lease! 3 bedr o o m h o m e w i t h p a t i o, washer & dr yer, and big closets! $625 Locators 215-922-3400 TEMPLE UNIVERSITY

Renovated 3 bedroom 2 s t o r y h o u s e ! Wa s h e r & dryer, formal dining room, fenced yard, and full basement! $750 Locators 215922-3400 UNIVERSITY CITY

3 bedroom house with negotiable lease! Yard, near park! No credit check! $700 Locators 216-922-3400 WEST PHILADELPHIA

Large 4 bedroom 2 stor y house with enclosed patio and pets are ok! $800â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215-922-3400

Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.com. ROOM FOR RENT

Nice Rooms for Rent in North Philly Newly renov-rooms w/ Cental Air & New carpet. Freshly painted. Utilities incl. No pets. $110.00 Weekly Ver y clean and cable TV /phone ready rooms. Contact No# 215.882.0791 TEMPLE/ARCADIA ROOMMATE!

Roommate needed in a gorgeous single house in Elkins Park, PA. Approx. 10 minute drive to Arcadia, and a 15 minute train ride to Temple University. House is about 4 blocks to Elkins Park train station. Cost: $570/month includes: all utilities, heat/ AC, washer/dryer, internet/ cable, will be furnished when we move in, early January. Thanks! :)

lulueightball By Emily Flake

SILK CITY

DINER â&#x20AC;¢ LOUNGE

12.31.10 SILK CITY & D24K PRESENT:

MIGHTY (newyears!)

w./DANNY KRIVIT OPENING SET BY DEL & DIRTY 9pm | tickets at tinyurl.com/mightynewyears or at Silk City

Open every day 4pm - 2am Sat & Sun Brunch 10am - 4pm 5th & Spring Garden www.silkcityphilly.com

7&3: (00%

FIRST TWO SHOWS SOLD OUT!

THIRD SHOW JUST ADDED!

â&#x20AC;&#x153;..#&&3 -*45 )"4 (308/ 50 &1*$ 1301035*0/4 ,*5$)&/ )"4 "%%&% "/ &953" #&-- 8*5) 1&3)"14 5)& $*5:Âµ4 #&45 '3*5&4 40.& 45&--"3 #&&3 #"55&3&% '*4) "/% 7&3: (00% .644&-4Â³

SATURDAY, JANUARY 15 AT 11PM BORGATA HOTEL CASINO & SPA

Buy at THEBORGATA.COM or call 1-866-900-4TIX (4849)

TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

ATLANTIC CITY, NJ

Craig LeBan, Philadelphia Inquirer, Revisited April 2007

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2740 S Front St . Philadelphia 215-467-1980