Philadelphia City Paper, August 27th, 2015

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IN THIS ISSUE ‌ p. 10

NIGHT CRAWLERS Philadelphia’s Beer Authority

MARIA S. YOUNG

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Philadelphia Ceili Group 41st Annual Irish Traditional Music & Dance Festival

OUR EDITORIAL STAFF realized it wasn’t as young or sparky as it used to be in the past couple weeks, as we embarked on our respective 2 a.m. eats assignments. Groggy-eyed if not straight-up sleepwalking, we slipped into diner booths, pilgrimaged to the food trucks at Frankford and Girard, and posted up at tables in Chinatown, the Italian Market and West Philadelphia. The fruits of our labor are shoe-leather accounts of the wonders of eating after last call.

September 10, 11 & 12, 2015 The Irish Center, Philadelphia, PA John Byrne Matt Ward The McGillians Marian Makins Philadelphia Ceili Band

The River Drivers The Jameson Sisters John McGillian Haley & Dylan Richardson The Next Generation

McDade-Cara School of Irish Dance

and Saturday’s Festival Finale Concert Featuring

Girsa Mary Courtney For more info on the Festival’s three days of Irish traditional Singers & Musicians, Dancing, Sessions, Free Hands-on Workshops & Lectures for all ages* go to: www.philadelphiaceiligroup.org/2015pcgfestival

CP STAFF *Workshops & Lectures free for PCG members and students with paid admission on Saturday

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Associate Publisher Jennifer Clark Editor in Chief Lillian Swanson Senior Editor Patrick Rapa Arts & Culture Editor Mikala Jamison Food Editor Jenn Ladd Senior Staff Writer Emily Guendelsberger Staff Writer Jerry Iannelli Copy Chief Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, Dotun Akintoye, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Bryan Bierman, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Mark Cofta, Adam Erace, David Anthony Fox, Caitlin Goodman, K. Ross Hoffman, Jon Hurdle, Deni Kasrel, Alli Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Josh Kruger, Drew Lazor, Alex Marcus, Gair “Dev 79� Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, John Morrison, Michael Pelusi, Natalie Pompilio, Sameer Rao, Jim Saksa, Elliott Sharp, Marc Snitzer, Nikki Volpicelli, Brian Wilensky, Andrew Zaleski, Julie Zeglen. Production Director Dennis Crowley Senior Designer/Social Media Director Jenni Betz Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Charles Mostoller, Hillary Petrozziello, Maria S. Young, Neal Santos, Mark Stehle U.S. Circulation Director Joseph Lauletta (ext. 239) Account Managers Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Russell Marsh (ext. 260), Susanna Simon (ext. 250)

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Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel founded City Paper in a Germantown storefront in November 1981. Local philanthropist Milton L. Rock purchased the paper in 1996 and published it until August 2014 when Metro US became the paper’s third owner.

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COVER PHOTOGRAPH // Maria S. Young COVER DESIGN // Jenni Betz


C I T Y PA P E R . N ET // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

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THE BELL CURVE

THIS WEEK ’S TOTAL: -8 // THE YEAR SO FAR: -19

OUR WEEKLY QUALITY-OF-LIFE-O-METER

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-3

Pa. Attorney General Kathleen Kane is ordered to stand trial on conspiracy charges. “Actually, this case has no merit, so we’re dropping it,” says Kane.

-1

According to the Farmers’ Almanac, we can expect a harsh winter. “Anyway, when I’m not practicing meteorology, you can usually find me out back, picking corn and shoveling cow crap.”

A Philly cop is suspended after being recorded trying to sell fundraiser tickets to someone he pulled over for a traffic violation. “Now, is everybody gonna go to my Indiegogo page and help pay my legal bills, or am I gonna have to start tasing?”

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Some 4,500 people participated in this year’s Dîner en Blanc, held at the Navy Yard. And whoever spiked the champagne with laxatives accidentally started the city’s hippest, hauteest culinary event yet: Dessert en Marron! Check your LinkedIn page!

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According to CBS 3, there were nine phila.gov email addresses in the Ashley Madison hack data. Ha ha, those people probably like sex.

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Philadelphia Media Network says “fewer than 10” people have accepted buyouts. “Unfortunately, the guy who’s really good at counting was one of them. Or he was two of them, maybe.”

JE FF RE Y

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JEN KIRKMAN

more picks on p. 20

CAMP BLOOD

—Shaun Brady

—Shaun Brady

ROYAL HEADACHE

After a three-year break, fuzzy Sydney garage band Royal Headache returns with its second full-length album, High (What’s Your Rupture). Right now they’re touring the U.S. with Philly’s own Sheer Mag. 8/28, PhilaMOCA, philamoca. org. —Cynthia Schemmer

Jen Kirkman has made the late-night rounds, was a regular on Chelsea Lately and recently put out a bestselling book. All the while, she’s maintained a tone that’s fiercely sardonic and, at times, pitch-dark in its view of humanity. But with sharp observations and breathless delivery, Kirkman manages to make the misanthropy fun. 8/31, Underground Arts, undergroundarts. org. —Alex Marcus HARI KONDABOLU

DOUGLAS LANCE GIBSON

Forget toasting marshmallows and singing songs by the fire — every child of the ’80s knows summer camps are places where horny teen agers are slaughtered with gardening implements by supernatural killers with Mommy issues. Exhumed Films and the Mahoning DriveIn are giving horror fans a chance to live that experience with six slashers and other surprises for campers braving the weekend with tents and sleeping bags. 8/28-29, Mahoning Drive-In, exhumedfilms. com, mahoningdit.com.

ROBYN VON SWANK

When Ozzy, Iommi and co. became Black Sabbath, they left another perfectly good band name behind. That name wasn’t the only thing Earth picked up from them, taking the Sabs’ penchant for relentless, monolithic riffs to the furthest extremes. They’ve since pulled back from the feedback-drone abyss, retaining the glacial pace and grueling bombast. On their latest, Primitive and Deadly, elements of psych-folk and blues bubble up from the sludge. 8/28,Underground Arts, undergroundarts.org.

LE TE IA

World Meeting of Families unveils its Papal Visit Playbook to help attendees navigate Philadelphia. It just says “RUN” over and over again.

EARTH

QUICK PICKS

BRU N O :A

You could call Brooklynbased Hari Kondabolu comic relief for the Bernie Sanders crowd: Racism, intolerance and colonialism are a few of his favorite topics, and his enlightened takes tend to skew leftist. And yet, Kondabolu rarely feels like a political comic, perhaps because of how consistently clever his jokes are, and how easygoing and engaging his delivery is. 8/27-29, Helium Comedy Club, heliumcomedy.com. —Alex Marcus


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PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

THENAKEDCITY

NEWS // OPINION // POLI T ICS

BAD MAMA JAMA: Philly Roller Derby jammer V-Diva, aka Vanessa Sites, breaks away from the pack at last Saturday’s bout celebrating the league’s 10th anniversary. MARK STEHLE

SPORTS

BY ANDREW ZALESKI

A DECADE OF ROLLING DEEP WITH THE LIBERTY BELLES

Philly Roller Derby would like the championship title for its 10th birthday, please. E A R LY I N T H E bout between Phil a del phia’s Liberty Belles and Montreal’s New Skids on the Block, a tall woman with a star on her helmet and her four-woman pack of blockers skate onto the track of Feasterville’s Sportsplex. The track is an oval, tapedoff ring that covers just the center portion of this indoor hockey rink. It’s a Saturday in late August — bout day for the Philly Roller Derby (PRD), an all-women, skater-owned and -operated league ranked 10th worldwide in the sport’s most competitive division. Today’s doubleheader celebrates the 10th anniversary of PRD’s founding. V-Diva, the woman with the star,

is tall like an NBA point guard, with a tattoo of an owl on her right calf and two pierced studs framing her lips and a blond ponytail peeking out from beneath her helmet. The star signals that she’s acting as the Liberty Belles’ jammer — the one who scores the points. V-Diva squares off against Montreal’s pack of blockers whose job it is to prevent her from getting past, mirrored by Montreal’s jammer against Philly’s defense. The referee blows the whistle, and V-Diva rockets forward. Montreal’s blockers have locked biceps in a circle — facing center in sort of a human doughnut — and there’s an

audible crunch as V-Diva arm-checks straight into them. Simultaneously, the Belles’ pack blocks Montreal’s jammer, who, frustrated, skates backward and prepares to charge again. Then V-Diva makes a move. Tilting forward onto the toe-brakes of her skates, she edges alongside and around Montreal’s pack, tiptoeing along the outer track boundary. Fending off the chest blows meant to knock her out of bounds, she deftly bypasses all four Montreal blockers, then accelerates around the track. She skirts around the scrum where the opposing jammer is still tangling with Philly’s pack, then uses her momentum to lap Montreal’s blockers again, scoring 5 points for Philly. V-Diva then slams her hands against her hips to call off the jam — that is, end the two-minute round early, before the other jammer, who has finally gotten around the Belles’ blockers, has a chance to score. “We need 100 percent more highfives!” shouts Belles coach PaulWilliams. The nine players on the bench jump up and start slapping hands. Philly’s Liberty Belles are ranked second in the east and 10th worldwide in Division 1 of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA). In two weeks, the Belles head to Dallas to compete in one of four regional competitions leading up to November’s WFTDA international championships in Minnesota. The closest the Liberty

Belles have come to winning one was in 2009, when the championships were held at the Pennsylvania Convention Center. They’re hungry for it this year. “I think we tend to get in our own heads,” V-Diva says later, after the Belles have beaten Montreal 166 to 154. It’s PRD’s second victory of the day — earlier, the Independence Dolls won their bout against Montreal’s Les Sexpos in a matchup of the two leagues’ JV-ish teams. “When we’re not in our heads, we’re definitely unstoppable,” she says. V-Diva goes by Vanessa Sites when she’s not geared up — taking a derby name is a big tradition. The Belles practice four times a week and compete in and out of town on the weekends. During their Decemberthrough-October regular season and any postseason playoffs, players have to balance derby’s intense time com-

‘There’s an audible crunch as she arm-checks straight into them.’ mitment with their day jobs. Sites, 30, who also skated for Team USA in the 2014 Roller Derby World Cup, is a nurse. She’s been driving two-and-a-half-hours to and from Scranton for four years to practice and compete with the Belles. “This is a sisterhood. … We live, breathe, sleep derby,” says Sites. “I don’t know any other sport that I’ve ever played that’s been like this.” Derby bouts consist of two-minute “jams” with 30-second breaks in between. Teams play both offense and defense simultaneously. One jammer per team is offense, like V-Diva was, and she’s in charge of scoring; four blockers per team try to both stop the other team’s jammer as well as protect their jammer from opposing blockers. Sometimes one blocker is designated pivot, meaning she can take over as jammer. Players switch positions between matches, and in certain circumstances during matches. Points are scored when a jammer is able to get by the opposing blockers, then get all the way around the track and lap

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MARK STEHLE

continued f rom p.4

A DECADE OF ROLLING DEEP WITH THE LIBERTY BELLES

them, with an extra point for passing the other team’s jammer en route. When roller derby originated in Chicago in 1935, it was just an endurance race between single opponents skating around a banked track. By 1937, it had begun to resemble the modern version:Teams of five circled a banked track, scored points for passing and blocked opposing players. In 1961, with the creation of the National Skating Derby, roller derby became more theatrical — campy, even, a bit like pro wrestling is today. The Philadelphia Eastern Warriors competed at the Philadelphia Arena at 46th and Market in front of large crowds between 1967 and 1976. Stars like Judy Arnold raced around an enclosed, banked track, pulverizing opponents — an especially gratifying YouTube clip of a 1974 bout between the Warriors and the Los Angeles T-Birds features an unhelmeted Arnold placing the T-Birds’ jammer into a headlock, slamming her into a gate and dropping her to the floor. She then appears to kick her in the head with her skate, to spectators’ delight. (“The Philly crowds always wanted us to smash someone,” Arnold told the Inquirer for a retrospective on the team a few years ago.) By the ’80s, derby had faded to the periphery of American sports. But in the early 2000s, derby underwent a revival. The key re-emergence was in 2002, coming out of the Austin, Texas, punk scene as an amateur, all-female sport with a heavy D.I.Y. ethos. In Philadelphia, the revival arrived in 2005 with the creation of the Penn Jersey Roller Derby (PJRD), a co-ed league co-founded by two Warriors fans that today puts on banked-track bouts in a warehouse up at 18th and Indiana. That same year, a group of PJRD skaters broke off to form their own league, eventually named Philly Roller Derby. Today, PRD competes on flat tracks against teams from some of

the other 316 WFTDA member leagues. Quick primer: Local derby organizations like the PRD are called leagues, which usually have a few teams grouped by experience — think of it as high school, college and pro teams that compete against teams from other leagues at the same level. The PRD’s 50 skaters comprise three teams: Block Party, a home team that competes primarily against teams from New Jersey, Maryland and Delaware; the Independence Dolls, which travels to compete against national and international Division 2 competitors; and the Liberty Belles, the all-star Division 1 travel team formed in 2006. There are about 10 different roller derby leagues in the Philly area, says Mishel Castro, 39, an art director for an advertising agency and a blocker for the Belles. But the PRD is the only league in Philadelphia that plays in the WFTDA. In leagues governed by theWFTDA, bouts look quite different from the headlock-allowing spectacles of the ’60s and ’70s. Derby as sport is more emphasized than storyline. “It’s more strategic than any sport I’ve played in,” says Kristen Herrmann, a 31-year-old DJ for Ben FM who competes with the Liberty Belles as Ginger Vitis. She often blocks for her 26-yearold sister, Courtney, a jammer known as Herrmann Monster.“If you are focusing completely on offense, getting your jammer through — that other jammer just flew by you. And if you’re focusing all on keeping that [opposing] jammer in your pack, your jammer, in the meantime, is getting beat to hell.” WFTDA bouts are played on flat tracks exclusively, and there’s an extensive rulebook with penalties: Checking an opposing player, for instance, cannot happen within the “bra-strap zone” of a player’s back, and jabbing elbows to the body and face will earn a player a 30-second penalty. In other words, don’t attend a

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A DECADE OF ROLLING DEEP WITH THE LIBERTY BELLES

PRD bout expecting to see someone get kicked in the face. But there’s plenty of checking, body-slamming and airborne players. And, unlike in hockey, spectators can grab a seat right next to the track, with no separating barrier. “It’s always my release. There’s not a lot of aggressive, fullcontact sports for women out there,â€? says Angela Moscoso, a pharmacy worker who plays jammer — sometimes for the Belles, sometimes for the Dolls — as Antidote. At Saturday’s bout, she sent a Montreal player flying like John Elway at the 1998 Super Bowl with a particularly brutal bodycheck, turning sharply to pass the remaining blockers as the crowd went wild. Despite these kind of thrills, it can be tough for the PRD to draw consistently big crowds, even to hometown bouts. When their teams compete at the 23rd Street Armory or the University of Pennsylvania’s Class of ’23 Arena, more than 300 people sometimes come out to watch, but fewer than 100 trekked out to Feasterville for Saturday’s doubleheader. “Philadelphia is a ‌ big sports town, but we’re a very traditional-sports town. And in the summer everyone tends to go to the Shore,â€? says Castro. “We’re trying to figure out how to make more use of our time in Philly so that it’s a consolidated season that’s more accessible to people.â€? For now, the Liberty Belles are focused on the championships in Minnesota; they’ll practice

more than 16 hours a week pre paring. It seems like a lot of work for a small amount of rec og nition, but the women of Philly Roller Derby found the sport by look ing for something else: a way to keep active; a release from the pressures of working life; or a sisterhood, inV-Diva’s words — people who just understand you. “I had been looking for a phys ical out let and a social outlet. In your late 20s, early 30s, it’s not as immediately easy to meet people. Derby was a great, immediate interest,� says Castro, who started her time in rol ler derby on Mother’s Day, 2005. “It’s more than a second-time job — it’s like a second life.� (editorial@ citypaper.net)

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PARODY


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C I T Y PA P E R . N ET


FISHTOWN FOOD TRUCKS

PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

Dining out is frequently less about the food than the experience. Especially after last call, when hungry, intoxicated and otherwise beleaguered citizens stagger out of the bars in search of someplace, any place, to feed. There aren’t a lot of options. For a second year, City Paper’s editorial staff was dispatched to savor both the social and culinary offerings of Philadelphia’s 2 a.m. eats. —Jenn Ladd

INTERSECTION OF FRANKFORD AND GIRARD AVENUES @GRUBAHOLICS, INSTAGRAM.COM/ WHATS.IN.THIS.PHILLY, CALLEDELSABOR.COM, SMOKINTACOSTRUCK. COM

HOURS: THURSDAYSATURDAY FROM APPROXIMATELY 10 P.M.-3 A.M.

RECOMMENDED DISHES: Grubaholics’ “Big Azz” hot dog and “Twerkin’” island wings; Calle Del Sabor’s al pastor tacos and jerk chicken po’ boy

PHOTOS BY MARIA S. YOUNG

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THE FIRST TIME I ate the chicken quesadilla from the Calle Del Sabor food truck at Frankford and Girard, I knew I was in big trouble. Forget pants that fit and a flat belly; now I know these plump, crispy triangles of melty queso and perfectly seasoned protein, topped with a zigzag of tangy crema and a sprinkling of chopped tomatoes, are available just minutes from my home. Having to “dine” standing on a sidewalk across the street from Johnny Brenda’s hardly bothers you when you’re in late-night food-truck heaven. A couple trucks show up here on Thursday nights, but the real food fete goes down on Friday and Saturday, when Calle and several other trucks roll in: Grubaholics, offering Jamaican specialties; What’s in This?, serving pierogies and empanadas (including the CFC empanada, made with fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy); and, usually, Mexican purveyors like Smokin’ Tacos or Mi Pueblito. On these nights, the strip of pavement in front of a Wells Fargo is packed like the red carpet outside an L.A. nightclub. Drunk-and-hungry patrons scramble to decide from myriad options what’ll best sate their munchies.

On a recent visit, a group of four friends sampled offerings from Calle and Grubaholics. Vegetarian Courtney McCloskey chose Calle’s veggie quesadilla, and pescatarian Sanjeev Kotamraju, fish tacos. “I’m not kidding, it’s among the best I’ve had,” Kotamraju said of the quesadilla. “I stopped ordering [veggie quesadillas] because I hate them.” This one, the friends said, was perfection, as were the fish tacos — Kotamraju had already had an order earlier that night. Graham Cooper and Erin Hoffman went for Jamaican. Cooper gobbled up a jerk chicken cheesesteak the size of his forearm. Hoffman dug into a serving of thick, gooey baked mac and cheese, which arrived in a tidy package — a “little pie” of noodles, she said. Grubaholics’ heaping cup of fries made the rounds, too, along with a sweet and spicy, utterly delicious Jamaican pineapple ginger beer. As we snapped photos under the glow of neon menu boards and tube lighting, Grubaholics owner Natalie Daley, a smiley presence beyond the bright red truck’s window, implored us to take care of her prized cheesesteak. And that we did — taking a pretty picture before making it disappear. —Mikala Jamison


MAKKAH MARKET

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

4249 WALNUT ST. 215-382-1821 MAKKAHMARKET.COM

HOURS: 24 HOURS , THOUGH IT’S SORT OF A WINDOWLESS SPACE WHERE TIME IS MEANINGLESS

RECOMMENDED DISHES:

PHOTOS BY HILLARY PETROZZIELLO

Shawarma platter, lamb stew, foul platter, baklava

FOR THE UNINITIATED, stepping into Makkah Market, a 24-hour Middle Eastern grocery store in West Philadelphia, is a bewildering experience, especially at 2 a.m. It’s easy to believe that the whole of the Levant has been shoehorned into a single city block. There are the requisite plates of stewed and curried meats steaming on the countertops; phone cards plastered on a wall; bags of falafel chips and stacks of pita bread crammed onto shelves; Islamic books, clothing, scarves and cookware strewn at random on the second floor. There is also a powerful, throbbing energy, stemming in equal measure from two blaring televisions, which blast grainy Middle Eastern news programs at an earsplitting volume, and the clientele, who all seem to know exactly where they’re going and what they’d like to eat.

After pacing around the store for too long, I elect to order the shawarma platter. The chef, who defaulted to chicken shawarma, cooks it in front of me and serves the meal in a Styrofoam container. I then settle into the tiny, walled-off section of seats in the back. A group of severely drunk men, all over age 50, have spread themselves over three of the tables and are carrying on in a foreign language. One tells a joke, and another doubles over a chair in laughter, slapping a table with his palm, hard. Our eyes meet. “Sorry,” he says, straightening himself. The shawarma, which looks like it came from a curbside cart in Center City, is instead tender, freshtasting and seasoned, for once, with a human amount of sodium, as is the yellow rice, which billows with steam when prodded. I happily scarf it down to the

tune of Arabic news, which keeps playing the theme to Mission Impossible between interviews. On the way out, I pass a man and woman in their 20s who appear to be as lost as I initially was. They stand in front of the cashier, gesturing at sweets inside a glass display case. “We enjoyed our meal so much, we’re back for dessert,” the woman says. She turns to her companion. “Have you ever had a bean pie?” she asks. He shakes his head from side to side. The woman raps her finger on the glass, right over an orange square of kanafeh — a dessert made of cheese, topped with sugary filo dough. “What’s that one? We’ll take one of those, whatever it is.” —Jerry Iannelli

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PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

PHOTOS BY MARIA S. YOUNG

HO SAI GAI RESTAURANT

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1000 R ACE ST. 215 -922- 4930

HOURS: MON .-THU., 11 -2 A . M .; FRI.-SUN ., 11 - 4 A . M .

RECOMMENDED DISHES: Avocado puffs, steamed dumplings, hot beef noodle soup, beef with brown gravy and mushrooms

HO SAI GAI lacks the harsh lighting and sterile decor of a diner, but the near-deserted dining room moments before 2 a.m. on a weekend possesses a lonely aura. Two men finish up a quiet meal. A bright TV playing episodes of Scandal murmurs in the corner. With its tan, textured wallpaper, polished wood carvings and crystal chandeliers, the restaurant’s efforts at class seem wasted on absent patrons. It’s meticulously tidy, attended by vigilant staff. A hostess in a crisp pink silk blouse seats us, and within seconds an avuncular old man brings us a metal kettle of tea. It’s so scalding, we cushion our cups with napkins to sip. We begin with pork egg rolls, dipped in piquant Chinese hot mustard tempered by duck sauce. The server scratches our order on his pad in Chinese characters.

Around 2:15, the after-hours crowd starts to drift in. They arrive in varying levels of sobriety and stages of maturity: A Chinese couple with wheeled suitcases in tow; a group of six men — five Asian, one Black — who claim a center table as if they owned the place; a lone man who greets the server before seeming to pass out at a table; a gaggle of mid- to late-30s bros who post up next to the party of six; three young men, one of whom is shirtless. A woman leads in a pack of men, only to rub the belly of the blood-red laughing Buddha, arms raised over his head. She laughs, snaps a photo and makes a swift exit. As noise swells up in the dining room and our server bustles around the room, delivering steaming plates of food — Hunan wings lacquered in sauce, cavernous bowls of sweat-inducing hot beef noodle

soup, vibrant avocado puffs that look like they’ve been shaded in with a crayon — the spell of gloominess begins to dissipate. Instead, Ho Sai Gai takes on the convivial quality of a beer garden. Neighboring tables bleed into one another, becoming communal. One bro knocks over a plate of wonton crackers with a clamor and everyone oohs. The sound grows to such a pitch that two men shush the whole place; the silencers then break into laughter, and we all follow suit. You could arrive at Ho Sai Gai in the early morning hours in a state of sadness and leave with a smile on your face, cheered by man’s ability to befriend, if only for a moment. —Jenn Ladd


BROAD STREET DINER

PRIMA PIZZA TAQUERIA

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HOURS: 8 - 4A . M . EVERYDAY

RECOMMENDED DISHES:

THERE’S A MAN sleeping at one of the tables near the window facing the Italian Market. His order sits in a plastic bag a few inches from his head, but he doesn’t know it’s there yet. His snoring is drowned out by the laughter of tipsy extroverts on the sidewalk, announcements of finished orders at the counter and a TV showing the buddy comedy Cop Out dubbed in Spanish. The voice actor doing the Tracy Morgan parts has brought his A-game, expertly reimagining his bewildered yelps en Español. The sign outside says Prima Pizza Taqueria, but the lady behind the counter tells us they don’t do pizza anymore. Also they ran out of chicken. “And I’m not making burritos tonight.” Maybe they’ve exhausted their supply of the big tortillas, or maybe she’s drawing a line in the sand. We are a party of three. We’re two-thirds inebriated, three-thirds exhausted. We order tacos and quesadillas and sit down near the sleeping guy. A few minutes later our orders are up and so is he, escorted to the door with his bag by a man in an apron. Our tacos are al pastor with a Hulk-green salsa and chorizo with a smoky red. The quesadilla, also al pastor, must be exhumed from a lawn of white lettuce. It is delicious and fresh. We eat like the recently rescued. Quickly. Heads down. Cheeks full. Tears streaming from spice and relief. When Cop Out erupts into a surprisingly bloody Uzi battle, we look away and, in so doing, spot a cellphone face down on the tile floor. It’s right below where the sleeping guy was. He’s long gone. We look at it while we chew but say nothing. Our food came flanked by sweet onion bulbs and tiny scarves of nopal, both roasted until they’re soft as throw pillows. Despite sitting on Styrofoam plates and being drenched in harsh fluorescence, the food looks amazing, a verdant oasis of color and texture that wakes us up long enough to consume it. When we are finished, we are more tired than before. We smooth hands over pockets to check for phones. We slump back into the night. —Patrick Rapa

PHOTOS BY MARIA S. YOUNG

Chorizo tacos, al pastor quesadilla

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1135 S. BROAD ST. • 215-825-3636 THEBROADSTREETDINER .COM

HOURS: 24 HOURS , EVERY DAY RECOMMENDED DISHES: Belgian waffle, breakfast combo, turkey club on multigrain bread

THEY CAME BY car, they came on foot, they came by bicycle and even by cab. All of them hungry souls in search of simple food and a cozy booth, looking for a way to extend the hot August night in air-conditioned comfort. From its corner spot, a half-block from the Boot & Saddle, up the street from The Dolphin, and not far from Methodist Jefferson Hospital, the Broad Street Diner welcomed all with an extensive late-night menu. Sixteen people were seated in booths or at a counter when we slipped in after 2 a.m. on a weeknight. “What’s popular at this hour?,” I asked our waitress, Andrea, who was pulling a double, working by day at Jefferson and by night at the diner. The breakfast combo, she answered quickly — two pancakes, two eggs, two slices of bacon and a sausage link, for $8.99. “To soak up as much alcohol as possible?” my companion asked. “Yes!” she answered with a laugh. I chose instead the Belgian waffle, crisp and fresh off the iron, with a layer of strawberries sliced as thick as nickels and a cloud of whipped cream on top. As I ate, the three waitresses carrying plates of fries and pancakes and grilled cheese sandwiches floated by to other tables. The two guys in the booth behind us said they were waiting for eggplant Parmesan. The televisions were on, but the sound was turned down, allowing a low hum of chatter to be heard across the room. I overheard one diner say she had been up on her roof watching the meteor shower; another was talking excitedly about attending the Phish concert at the Mann. Cops parked a patrol car out front and one came in for takeout. The diner gets a lot of cops, the waitress said. All of them order the cranberry-walnut salad, but she doesn’t know why. The next surge of customers would arrive after 4 a.m., she said, when the bouncers, the waitresses and others in the restaurant business have finished for the day. When we arrived, the manager had come out to shoo a disheveled-looking man in the parking lot asking for change. “Go! You’re here every night,” the manager said. But inside, we witnessed compassion. An elderly man named Pop was fast asleep in the booth across from ours, his head bowed and his cane perched at an odd angle on the seat facing him. They told us that in the morning he would head across the street to get dialysis. No one disturbed him. It turned out that mercy, South-Philly style, was on the menu, too. —Lillian Swanson


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PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

ARTS // MUSIC // T HEAT ER // BOOKS

SOUND ADVICE

BY PATRICK RAPA

KICKING AND SCREAMING

LONG AS I CAN SEE THE LIGHT

Folk heroine Meg Baird still loves you, Philadelphia. SOMETIMES MEG BAIRD’S voice is so pretty it can be kind of spooky. She hits these high, soothing notes, often accompanied by a single, lightly plucked guitar, that send a static charge up my arms and spine. When I tell her this, I can practically see her blushing even though we’re communicating via email. “Can I print this out and frame it? Maybe tuck it in my guitar case?” she replies.“It’s rough out there. I always want to feel like there is a worthwhile effect to listening to my work.” Baird, once a fixture in the Philly folk scene with The Espers and as a solo artist, lives in San Francisco these days. I asked her about that and her latest record, Don’t Weigh Down the Light (Drag City), in advance of her big homecoming show this week. City Paper: I love the song “Don’t Weigh Down the Light.” Tell me something about it that nobody knows. Meg Baird: There are a ton of ideas and influences behind that song’s DNA, but it largely came together when I was thinking about arranging covers for Gene Clark’s unreleased demo “For No One” and Tom Petty’s “Wake Up Time” from Wildflowers. CP: “Mosquito Hawks” might be my favorite thing you’ve ever done. Not a question, just saying. MB: My first middle eight! I wanted that to sound sort of like Jimmy Page and Kristin Hersh in the chord voicings. CP:What song on the new album gave you the most trouble? MB: A song that didn’t even make it

on the record! I was trying for a mood that made you feel like you were swirling past a cascading pageantry of light and villages and scenes — you know, like Pasolini’s Decameron — but it wound up sounding more like an old jalopy Model T trying to make it up a hill. I’m glad I stuck with it, but it really didn’t work out in the end.

ESPERANTO: $10 // Thu., Aug. 27, 9 p.m., with Samara Lubelski and Mary Lattimore, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.* ALISSA ANDERSON

CP: Why’d you leave Philadelphia? MB: Good reasons — for love! My partner, Charlie, is from the Bay Area. CP: You miss us, right? You must. Philly is so great. MB: Philly is wonderful. I miss things about being there all the time. CP: Tell me about San Francisco. MB: It’s incredibly beautiful. Magic even. It’s also currently a disaster of income and housing inequality and displacement. I’m so new here but, even so, it can feel kind of under siege. I think lots of American cities are going through the same thing right now, but it is so acute here right now. Be careful, everyone. CP: What are you reading right now? MB: Elissa Washuta’s My Body Is a Book of Rules and William Gibson’s Pattern Recognition and Rebecca Solnit’s The Encyclopedia of Trouble and Spaciousness. CP: What else should I know? MB: Reading three books at once can trick you into feeling like they’re never gonna end. And Philadelphia’s beautiful and magic, too. (@mission2denmark)

I wanted that to sound sort of like Jimmy Page and Kristin Hersh

LANCE BANGS

FOLK

BY PATRICK RAPA

THE SCREAMING FEMALES are a good band to listen to when you’re feeling wronged by the universe. It’s not about escaping your problems, it’s about shouting them down. I’ve got some problems. Problem # 1: Marissa Paternoster, the Screaming Females’ singer and guitarist, was on a cell phone outside a diner somewhere in the Texas desert when I tried to interview her, and our connection sucked. I asked my questions but I could only make out every fifth word or so of her replies. Everything sounded muffly and droney. I faked like we were having a real conversation, hoping the issue would be resolved once I sat down to transcribe. Problem #2: I just poured a half-full glass of water on my laptop and now it won’t turn on. This was the laptop with the .mp3 of the interview on it. I’ve made an appointment with a Genius. In the meantime, I guess I can’t transcribe the interview I couldn’t hear in the first place. So I’m listening to The Screaming Females do loud and defiant really, really well. Their latest record, Rose Mountain, released by the Don Giovanni label back in February, can be pretty but mostly it’s in-your-face. “Broken Neck” — obviously inspired by Paternoster’s long battles with mono and other afflictions — makes me want to stand up to my oppressors, namely water and shoddy cell phone signals and (soon enough) Geniuses. “It’s my mad disease!” she yells during the powerhouse chorus. “Pills and scripts, they push me!” I asked her a question about the song and she answered me, pretty sure. Then I asked her who “Empty Head” was aimed at because it’s part salty dis track and part wild cosmic adventure. She answered that too, I imagine. When The Screaming Females play Union Transfer on Saturday, it’s kind of a homecoming — even though the band is two-thirds from Jersey. Drummer Jarrett Dougherty lives in West Philly, and it’s not uncommon to see all three band members at shows around town. Paternoster had a comment about that, too, if I recall correctly. (pat@citypaper.net)

$14 // Sat., Aug. 29, 8:30 p.m., with Vacation, Radiator Hospital and Pinkwash, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, utphilly.com.


C I T Y PA P E R . N ET

Lyle, Lyle,

Crocodile

& Friends the art of

Bernard Waber

August 27 – November 1 The first major exhibition to explore the life and career of children’s book writer and illustrator Bernard Waber. Through over 90 original illustrations and other artifacts, Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile and Friends explores the whimsical and emotionally resonant characters and worlds Waber created over the course of his nearly 50-year career.

Learn more at NMAJH.org 5th and Market

15 // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile and Friends: The Art of Bernard Waber is organized by The Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art, Amherst, Massachusetts. Support for the organization of this exhibition has been generously provided by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Major support for this exhibition at NMAJH has been provided by Hallee and David Adelman, Jen Mendel and Fred Fox, the Louis and Bessie Stein Foundation Fund #2 Audrey Merves, Trustee, and the Solomon and Sylvia Bronstein Foundation. ILLUSTRATION © 1969 BY BERNARD WABER


C I T Y PA P E R . N ET

COMING

OCTOBER 22 To Advertise, call 215-717-2695 or email adsphilly@metro.us

C I T Y PA P E R ’ S INSIDER’S GUIDE TO PHILADELPHIA 2015 - 2016

RILEY!

T OP ADME!

5 years old

I’m Riley, a gorgeous 5-year-old lady who needs a family! I get along with dogs and laid-back cats, and love to lounge on windowsills. I have a few pounds to lose, but it’s just more to love!

Riley is waiting at PAWS Northeast Adoption Center · 1810 Grant Ave. Phila, PA 19115 215-545-9600 All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

PEABO BRYSON

LOOK WHO IS COMING TO THE REHOBOTH BEACH JAZZ FESTIVAL "THE GREATEST JAZZ FESTIVAL IN THE WORLD" OCTOBER 15 TO 18, 2015

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PIECES OF A DREAM URBAN JAZZ COALITION

CLUBPHRED

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GO TO rehbothjazz.com To buy your tickets

FOUR80EAST

16 // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

NORMAN BROWN


17

MOVIESHORTS

COMEDY

COOL IN SCHOOL: Adam Pally and Sarah Burns play colleagues at a Media high school in Slow Learners.

SLOW LEARNERS

/ C+ / You can’t write the kinds of twists that have impacted the documentaries of Phil a del phia film makers Don Argott and Sheena Joyce. As they were researching the history of nuclear power for The Atomic States of America, disaster struck Japan’s Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant. In the midst of filming As the Palaces Burn, a behind-the-scenes doc on Richmond metal band Lamb of God, their direction changed when frontman Randy Blythe was arrested in Prague over the death of a fan. Which makes it a bit disappointing that their first foray into narrative film, Slow Learners, is so obviously headed in a single direction from minute one. Jeff (Adam Pally) and Anne (Sarah Burns) are colleagues at a Media high school (he’s a guidance counselor, she’s a librarian) who decide to shed their dorky demeanors over the course of a summer and become “sex-in-a-bathroom people.” Every other character in the film joins every single audience member in realizing that the two will inevitably end up together, but first they both struggle to adopt a vaguely understood

notion of “cool” gleaned from reality TV and trashy books (notably Tommy Lee’s autobiography, Tommyland). Instead they simply become assholes, threatening to destroy every relationship in their lives in the process. Argott and Joyce have proved themselves keen observers in their nonfiction films, and they do bring some of that nuanced insight to the otherwise broad and predictable comedy in Matt Serword’s script. Pally and Burns play full-fledged characters with their own awkward charms and intelligence, not the maladjusted misfit nerds of so many movies; and the more attractive, popular dates that they couple up with are decent people – far more likable than the leads at their obnoxious worst – rather than the glib, disposable hotties they could have been. A few countered expectations don’t rescue the film from rom-com predictability, but they do provide several small delights along an otherwise too-straight journey. —Shaun Brady (iTunes, Amazon, YouTube, etc.)

more reviews on p.19

THE PHILLY RESTAURANT PASS

CIT YPAPER.NET // AUG. 27 - SEPT. 2, 2015 // PHILADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

24

gift certificates to Philadelphia’s best restaurants

Approx. Value: $1,600 20 Manning Alla Spina/Amis/Osteria/Vetri Audrey Claire BarLy Bufad Pizza Chima Brazilian Steakhouse City Tap House Dawson Street Pub Devil’s Pocket Fork Friday Saturday Sunday Good Dog RAFFLE The Industry Bar TICKETS Johnny Brenda’s $5 each or Kennett 6 for $20 Lucha Cartel Mac’s Tavern Mama Palma’s North Third Pennsylvania 6 DRAWING Positano Coast Saturday, Royal Tavern August 29 Spasso Tequilas

+

SECOND PLACE PRIZE: The Brunch Pass • 5 gift certificates

Honey’s Sit & Eat Magpie Sabrina’s Cafe Silk City Diner Soy Cafe

BUY

TICKETS HERE

It’s Philly’s most delicious RAFFLE PRIZE! all proceeds benefit

Tickets also available at:

LLS’s Phila. Office 100 N. 20th St., Ste 405 Philadelphia, PA 19103 610-238-0360

For more information, visit TheDudeHatesCancer.com


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PHILADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER // AUG. 27 - SEPT. 2, 2015 // CIT YPAPER.NET

BE INSPIRED, BE CREATIVE, JOIN THE FUN

Fall classes start Sept. 30 137-139 n. 2nd st theclaystudio.org

INVITE YOU AND A GUEST TO A SPECIAL ADVANCE SCREENING

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2 7:30PM THE PEARL AT AVENUTE NORTH 1600 N. BROAD STREET

VISIT WWW.GOFOBO.COM/CITYPAPER090215 TO DOWNLOAD PASSES THIS FILM IS RATED PG-13 for sequences of violence and action, sexual material, some language, a drug reference and thematic elements. Seating is on a first come, first served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theater is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket, and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. EuropaCorp, Philadelphia City Paper and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, recipient is unable to use his/ her ticket in whole or in part. All federal and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law.

IN THEATERS SEPTEMBER 4

&

INVITE YOU AND A GUEST TO SEE

UNSULLIED Enter to win tickets at: www.citypaper.net

No purchase necessary. Supplies are limited. Employees of promotional partners are not eligible.

OPENS FRIDAY AUGUST 28 UA Riverview Plaza Stadium 17 And Area Theatres

Film events and special screenings.

REPERTORY FILM

BY DREW LAZOR

ASIAN ARTS INITIATIVE

1219 Vine St., 215-557-0455, paaff. org. Garuda 19 (2013, Indonesia, 90 min.): Inspirational sports doc following Indonesia’s national under-19 soccer team, which won the ASEAN youth championship in 2013. Thu., Aug. 27, 7 p.m., $8. CLARK PARK

4398 Chester Ave., universitycity.org. Casablanca (1942, U.S., 102 min.): How can we get back to calling all nightlife venues “gin joints”? Big fan of that. Fri., Aug. 28, dusk, free.

PFS THEATER AT THE ROXY

2023 Sansom St., 267-639-9508, filmadelphia.org/roxy. Persona (1966, Sweden, 83 min.): Ingmar Bergman explores the complex relationship between a nurse (Bibi Andersson) and the ailing actress (Liv Ullmann) in her care. A 35 mm screening. Thu., Aug. 27, 2 and 7:30 p.m., $8-$10. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986, U.S., 103 min.): Woody Allen examines family drama at everyone’s favorite setting for interpersonal squabbling: the Thanksgiving table. A BYOB screening ($2 corkage fee). Wed., Sept. 2, 7:30 p.m., $10.

GREAT PLAZA AT PENN’S LANDING

PHILAMOCA

101 S. Christopher Columbus Blvd., 215922-2FUN, delawareriverwaterfront.com. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014, U.S., 121 min.): Last summer’s smash Marvel hit will have you Groot-ing your Groots all up in the Groots of the Groot, if you know what I mean. Thu., Aug. 27, dusk, free.

531 N. 12th St., 267-519-9651, philamoca. org. A Top Gun Experience: The band Viper plays the Top Gun soundtrack in its entirety, working dialogue, celebrity impersonations and homoerotic volleyball into the mix. Talk to me, Goose! More info at viperplaysthegreatestsoundtrackofourtime. com. Sat., Aug. 29, 7:30 p.m., $12.

HEADHOUSE SQUARE SHAMBLES

RITZ AT THE BOURSE

Second and Lombard streets, 215-413-3713, southstreet.com. That’s Entertainment (1974, U.S., 135 min.): MGM rounds up its best movie-musical moments from the ‘20s through the ‘50s. Wed., Sept. 2, 8 p.m., free.

400 Ranstead St., 215-440-1181, landmarktheatres.com. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981, U.S., 115 min.): “Snakes. Why’d it have to be snakes?” Fri., Aug. 28, midnight, $10.


CIT YPAPER.NET // AUGUST 27 - SEPTEMBER 2, 2015 // PHILADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

FILM SHORTS MISTRESS AMERICA // B-

Though it lacks the earnest exuberance of 2013’s Frances Ha, Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig’s latest collaboration almost plays like an unofficial sequel. In the former, Gerwig’s twentysomething goober grand-jetés across a black-and-white New York City, a place that forgives her flightiness on the strength of her sincerity. In this movie,

Gerwig’s thirtysomething Brooke strains to keep up similar fancy-free appearances when reality is much heavier. Nailing in stakes on both ends of a generation, Mistress America wants to lead an expedition to the cloudy peak of Mount Millennial, but it’s too complacent to make much progress. New to NYC, young Tracy (Lola Kirke) is a woefully green college freshman who’s having trouble enjoying what everyone says are the best years of her life. She wants to write

vividly about her life, but she just doesn’t have one. She doesn’t have many friends, either, until Brooke, the daughter of the man set to marry Tracy’s mother, offers to show her a good time. A tall blonde bolt of lightning with thumbs in multiple pies, Brooke is New York to an impressionable outsider hungry for inspiration: She’s a million possibilities, tangled together in one gloriously messy ball of artisanal yarn. The issue, Tracy soon realizes, is that Brooke has never accomplished anything

19

of substance, shrouding her many shortcomings with an urban cool-girl affectation that’s not too hard to see through. Tracy’s naive initial read of Brooke is a biting commentary on the vanity of Generation Y, where faking it till you make it is inexplicably viewed as a noble pursuit. But Baumbach and Gerwig screw up by insisting that Brooke’s still special in spite of this. OK fine, she’s smart, witty and pretty — but Tracy, whom Kirke portrays with a nuanced mix of vinegar and vulnerability, wants to be more than that. As she should, goddammit. There’s an exasperating undercurrent of upper-class entitlement to everything Brooke does, and it’s not nearly as funny as her creators think. —Drew Lazor (Ritz Five)

citypaper.net/movies


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PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

JAZZ

EVENTS

: AUGUST 27 - SEPTEMBER 2 :

GET OU T T HERE

KAMASI WASHINGTON

This Trane-worshiping tenor hero’s involvement in the latest Kendrick and Flying Lotus opuses, and the self-evident audacity of his own three-hour, triple-disc debut for FlyLo’s Brainfeeder label, has turned plenty of (habitually jazz-averse) heads, raised some eyebrows and made The Epic one of 2015’s most deafening conversation pieces. But it’s a far more enjoyable, less intellectually taxing proposition than the hullaballoo suggests: a roundly impressive, surprisingly tradition-steeped set of lush, impassioned bigband jazz, ranging from knotty post-bop and acid-funk groovers to smooth, soul-stirring slow-burns — with just the occasional over-the-top choral/ orchestral apotheosis. —K. Ross Hoffman

thursday

8.27

VAN HALEN $35-$175 // Thu., Aug. 27, 7:30 p.m., with Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Susquehanna Bank Center, 1 Harbour Blvd., Camden, N.J., 856-3651300, livenation.com. ROCK/POP From recent tours by Black Sabbath, Mötley Crüe and Van Halen, it’s increasingly clear that arena audiences are satisfied simply by seeing rock stars of a certain age in the flesh, regardless of how atrocious they sound. The latter’s recent Tokyo Dome In Concert is thus an experiment in loyalty and a cash-in, two discs of sloppy playing and mumbled vocals — and they’re coming back to do it all onstage again! —Shaun Brady

f riday

8.28 JOE BORUCHOW/ KID HAZO Free // Opening reception Fri., Aug. 28, 5:30-10 p.m., runs through Oct. 10, Paradigm Gallery, 746 S. Fourth St., 267-2660073, paradigmarts.org. VISUAL ART Two of

Philly’s most striking street artists team up for an exhibition called “Intersections.” Boruchow’s well known for his eye catching black-and-white cutouts scattered around walls, doorways and mailboxes all over town. The mysterious Kid Hazo, meanwhile, turns heads with his is-that-for-real? street signs informing pedestrians about “unicycle parking” and “vampire squirrels.” —Patrick Rapa

GRANDCHILDREN

$12 // Fri., Aug. 28, 9 p.m., with Spaceship Aloha and White Bike, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

ROCK/POP Philly band Grandchildren can do it simple and small but their best stuff is big. “Nothing,” the first single off their new record ZUNI (grandchildren. bandcamp.com), has the right amount of bombast and bravado. A hipshaking beat comes and goes, building up a little breathing room between the nervy, psychedelic synth parts. Aleks Martray’s lofty vocals, always high in the mix, soar and span, giving you something to sing along to. This gig is the ZUNI release show, so expect the Grandchildren to be

wired. —Patrick Rapa

saturday

8.29

ARUM RAE

$10 // Sat., Aug. 29, 8 p.m., with Mechanical River, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com. SINGER/SONGWRITER

Austin/Brooklyn singer-songwriter Arum Rae — formerly known as White Dress — has a nimble voice, able to slink into some sultry blues or sprawl out over a trip-hop beat or just swagger a little to some rock ’n’ roll. Right now, she’s got just a couple EPs out there, and she’s only playing a handful of shows this year as she’s concentrating on recording her first full-length album. And here’s a bit of old-head trivia: That’s Pavement’s Steve West playing drums behind her. —Patrick Rapa

THREE MEN AND THREE WOMEN IN BLACK

Free // Sat., Aug. 29, 6 p.m., Pretzel Park, 4300 Silverwood St., facebook. com/ThreeMenAndThreeWomenInBlack. ROCK/COUNTRY

Here’s your once-inawhile reminder that Philadelphia has a statue of a soft pretzel. It’s in a nice place called Pretzel Park, in Manayunk. This evening of Johnny Cash covers — performed by a six-piece band that includes harp and violin — is a good excuse to pack a picnic, enjoy a cool summer breeze and stare at a big steel pretzel. —Patrick Rapa

DENA DEROSE TRIO

$20 // Sat., Aug. 29, 8 and 10 p.m., Chris’ Jazz Café, 1421 Sansom St., 215-568-3131, chrisjazzcafe.com. JAZZ On her most recent album, We Won’t Forget You, pianist/ vocalist Dena DeRose

EPIC: $15-$24 // Thu., Aug 27, 7:15 p.m., with Korey Riker and Darla, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215222-1400, worldcafelive.com. KAMASI WASHINGTON

pays homage to Shirley Horn, best known for her aching, languorous ballads. Not the elegiac type, DeRose naturally takes a warmer, more engaging approach. What she’s gleaned from Horn is a knack for turning any lyric into a personal story, as when she transformed “Imagine” into a poignant gay anthem at last year’s OutBeat Jazz Fest. —Shaun Brady

SABBRA CADABRA $10 // Sat., Aug. 29, 7 p.m., Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919, kungfunecktie.com. METAL/TRIBUTE

Amazingly, the molten metal core of Sabbra Cadabra — Joe Donnelly, Dana Toto and Jeff Mott (aka Ozzy, Tony and Geezer) — has been together since 1993.


CIT YPAPER.NET // AUG. 27 - SEPT. 2, 2015 // PHILADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

TIME WHARP/ MAGICAL MISTAKES

$10 // Sat., Aug. 29, 7 p.m., with Astro Nautico DJs, Flote, Josh Hey, Mogillah, Chits and Lost Ships, Girard Hall, 527 W. Girard Ave., facebook.com/astronautico. ELECTRONIC True to its name, the Astro Nautico specializes in heady electronica that’s

Time Wharp

continued on p.22

THE GRUMPY LIBRARIAN

BY CAITLIN GOODMAN

Send the Grumpy Librarian two books you like and one you hate and she’ll tell you what to read.

That’s impressive for a tribute band. (And it’s a damn miracle for a Sabbath tribute band; Tony Iommi never managed to keep any two bandmates around for more than 10 years in a row.) Sabbra specializes, of course, in Sabbath’s ’70s heyday and their potential set list is insane; they can do “All Moving Parts” and “Junior’s Eyes.” Although … am I an ass for wishing they could do “Swinging the Chain”? Yeah, I am. —Patrick Rapa

21

A LI’L RETRO SATIRE LOVED: Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin LOVED: Michel Faber, The Crimson Petal and the White HATED: Kazuo Ishiguro, The Remains of the Day

JONATHAN STRANGE & MR. NORRELL SUSANNA CLARKE ( Tor Books)

LET’S BEGIN WITH a grateful pause to acknowledge that yes, The Remains of the Day is a terrible book; an Edwardian dress parade led by a flat character too unreal to be persuasively unreliable. There is plenty of bad historical fiction, but this phony and dull example has somehow been judged an Important Book. More positively, Atwood is pretty great at fancying up genre fiction, although there are an awful lot of genres stuffed in Assassin. Faber, by the way, is an excellently knowing mimic. Another option for a little retrospective satire is Susanna Clarke’s cute alterna-history of early 19th-century England, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell. And there’s something downright lovable in the completely bizarre The Name of the Rose, Umberto Eco’s first novel. It’s a theologically motivated medieval murder mystery, full of both untranslated Latin and postmodernist recursiveness. It was impossibly and wonderfully adapted into a film starring Sean Connery and Christian Slater. The Grumpy Librarian will understand if you just skip straight to the movie. (grumpylibrarian@citypaper.net)


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AUG. 27 - SEPT. 2, 2015 // CIT YPAPER.NET

EVENTS a little bit spacey, a little bit soupy. Saturday’s event, something of a local coming-out party for the label, in conjunction with their fellow Philly/Brooklynstraddling pals at Paxico Records, boasts live sets from Time Wharp and Magical Mistakes. Wharp’s recent eponymous LP swirled buzzy, meandering jazz-fusion vibes with zoned-out but fully serviceable house. Osaka, Japan’s Magical Mistakes’ Cracks in the Surface EP is built largely from wonky analog wheezes and kinetic, slightly cartoonish percussion. —K. Ross Hoffman

sunday

8.30 KEVIN HART $84-$300 // Sun., Aug. 30, 8 p.m., Lincoln Financial Field, 1 Lincoln Financial Field Way, 800-745-3000, livenation.com. COMEDY Philly’s biggest (and smallest) comedian is aiming to be the first standup ever to headline an NFL stadium. Will he pull it off? Yes. Will he sell out the house? Nah. But he’ll be funny and amped

up for the hometown crowd. Should be a blast. BYO binoculars. —Patrick Rapa

monday

8.31

DROUTH $6 // Mon., Aug. 31, 8 p.m., with God Root, Astroseer, Sunrot and Conqbine, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919, kungfunecktie.com. METAL There are only a few videos of this Portland doom band on YouTube and the audio on every one of them is in the red. These guys are heavy, dark and dangerous to the eardrums, with each chord change sounding like a tectonic shift and each cymbal crash dissolving into white noise. But there’s a little bit of thrash in there, too. Fun for the whole family. —Patrick Rapa

citypaper.net/events


FOOD&DRINK

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

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REVIEWS // OPENIN GS // LIST IN GS // RECIPES FORTY NORTH OYSTERS Location: Barnegat Bay. Owner Matt Gregg avoids getting too specific with his farm’s location, in case of poachers or scavengers. The farm is adjacent to a beach. Best time to visit: By appointment, usually on Saturdays. What to expect: Gregg likes to show visitors how an oyster progresses from its seed phase to market day. And prepare to get wet, unless you spend your entire time in a kayak. Tasting: Gregg can sell directly to consumers. He sells Forty North oysters in 100-count bags, which run about $85. Upcoming events: On Saturday, Sept. 19, Gregg will host a kayak tour of his farm for $75. He expects 15 or so participants, all of whom should be physically capable of kayaking half a mile. Best contact: fortynorthoysters.com; matty@fortynorthoysters.com.

TOUR DE FORK

BY JENN LADD

OYSTER TRIPPIN’

How to get hands-on with the Jersey Shore’s bivalve bounty. TO VISIT MATT Gregg’s farm, you’ll need a kayak. Or a canoe. But some kind of boat, for sure. Gregg’s flock resides in about 2 feet of brackish water in New Jersey’s Barnegat Bay. It’s there that he raises Forty North oysters on one of the Garden State’s relatively few oyster farms. “These boutique oyster farms [are] popping up all over the United States,” Gregg says. “It’s like microbrewery culture, where we’re producing small batches of these really high-quality products.” Oyster House proprietor Sam Mink, who’s wallowed into oyster flats before, says traveling to a farm can be eye-opening. “Most people — and these are educated people — don’t know what an oyster farm looks like, smells like, feels like.” Oyster farms are gradually entering the agritourism industry, following the lead of wineries and breweries in opening themselves up to visitors as educational and recreational outlets. New Jersey’s oyster operations haven’t formalized visiting schedules or procedures just yet — and perhaps that’s to the advantage of plucky tourists. Paying a visit to any one of these shellfish farms will require making special arrangements with their owners, but you will have the opportunity to find out what it’s like to do business according to the tides, to wade in mud and water for a living. Not every outfit will put you to work, but those that do caution that visitors should want to get dirty. “It’s muddy, hard work,” says Dias Creek Oyster Co. owner Richard Cash. He and his wife, Stephanie, harvest Venus oysters in the Dias Creek. They recommend wearing water pants and shoes, as well as thrift-store-bought long-sleeved dress shirts, to protect from the sting of jellyfish tentacles. If you’re willing to suit up or paddle over, here are three places to try.

RAW SHUCKS: An oyster farmer tends to the racks at Forty North Oysters’ setup in Barnegat Bay. FORT Y NORTH OYSTERS

Boutique oyster farms [are] popping up all over the United States. It’s like microbrewery culture, where we’re producing ... really high quality products.

DIAS CREEK OYSTER CO. Location: The Dias Creek section of Middle Township, in Cape May Court House. Dias Creek Oyster’s equipment is set up on a public beach. “Anybody can park at the end of High Beach Road,” according to owner Richard Cash, “and say, ‘Hey, what are you doing? Can you explain this to me?’” Best time to visit: Mondays during low tide. “We work our lives around the tide schedule,” Cash says. “It might be dawn, midday or sunset.” What to expect: If you arrange to spend time working on the farm, expect to learn how to count, sort and prep the oysters. Cash says it’s very dirty work and heavy. “You have to be prepared for it.” Tasting: Dias Creek’s Venus oysters need to be processed — pressure-washed and allowed 12 hours rest — in an approved space before they can be sold. Matthews Seafood Market (206 Mechanic St., Cape May Court House) and Budd’s Bait and Tackle (109 Fullingmill Road, Villas) are the vendors closest to the farm. Upcoming events: Nothing planned as of yet, but Cash says that the Cape May County’s economic development office has hopes to coordinate a joint event between the area’s oyster farms and its wineries. Best contact: Reach Richard Cash at 609-231-1507 or 609-465-5329. SWEET AMALIA OYSTER FARM Location: Near Green Creek, in Cape May County. Best time to visit: By appointment, typically on the weekends. The time varies with the tide. Working and non-working tours are possible. What to expect:Working tours entail walking through knee-deep water, sizing and sorting. “Nothing too strenuous,” owner Lisa Calvo says. Tasting: Calvo will sell 50-count bags to Sweet Amalia visitors for roughly $50. Upcoming events: Nothing firm, but Calvo and her team are discussing the potential for open-farm weekends. Best contact: facebook.com/ SweetAmaliaOysterFarm or 609-440-4560. (jenn@citypaper.net, @jrladd)


PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

BY ADAM ERACE

NAAN PLUSSED IMLI INDIAN KITCHEN

REVIEW

24

IMLI INDIAN KITCHEN // 69 E. Passyunk Ave., 267-858-4277, imlikitchen.com. Mon.-Sun., 5-10 p.m. THE ONLY SURPRISE when Ulivo turned off the lights for the last time at the corner of Catharine and East Passyunk was that the place had lasted as long as it did. The gnocchi were ethereal for sure, but Queen Village and Bella Vista did not need another Italian BYOB. An Indian restaurant, however … Arshad Chugtai, former Café Spice owner and resident of the neighborhood, opened Imli Indian Kitchen in the vacated Ulivo in May. The space doesn’t look all that different, a tiled trapezoid with tall ceilings and Indian objets d’art switched in for Italian ones. The side of a faux-pensione jutting into the dining room remains. I suppose if you squint it could be a cottage

on the Kerala canals. Imli’s menu comes preloaded with crowd-pleasers that won’t win any awards but are serviceable in that don’t-feel-like-cooking-on-a-Wednesday-night way. Chicken tikka masala, for example, suited the timid eater in my group but had redeeming qualities (moist tandoor-charred chicken, rich gravy) on which I could not hate. There was plenty to dislike about the baghara baigan, however, a curry starring squeaky blocks of eggplant smothered in a peanut-coconut sauce that had separated into oils and clots. Were it not for ginger lighting a spark in the pudina kebab, I might have thought I was at Zahav the way mint, garlic and cumin harmonized in Imli’s flavorful little lamb meatballs. Saffron and nutmeg gave a regal edge to another kebab, the zaffroni chicken, lathered in cashew paste. I followed my server’s enthusiastic suggestion to the koli verutha curry, another chicken dish scented with powerful curry leaves, cardamom, citrusy coriander and a trove of crushed peppercorns that tickled my nose. The various naan all seemed a little tough. Kheer, Indian rice pudding, showed a restrained hand in the sugar jar, but the syrup-soaked gulab jamun doughnuts for dessert would give you a toothache. I’ll take my Imli doughnuts on the savory side. Made with lentil flour, the warm medhu vada looked just like miniature doughnuts (holes and all) and, despite being a little dense, were delicious dipped into sticky tamarind chutney. Imli isn’t the city’s best Indian restaurant. It’s good enough, occasionally great, with friendly service. Take the kids and in-laws. (aerace.citypaper@gmail.com, @AdamErace)


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26

PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

BY MATT JONES

©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

ACROSS

1 5 10 14 15 16 17 20 21 22 23 25 27 33 34 35 39 41 43 44 46 48 49 52 55 56 57 61 65 68

Place for a nap Part of a sequence? Georgetown athlete Jai ___ Specialty Nursing school subj. Comment about all-soloist concerts? Critter with a pouch “___ Like It” “Fuel” performer DiFranco Audiophile’s collection, perhaps Slanted printing style Haulers that repel everyone? Wrinkly dog Half a new wave group? Rashomon director Kurosawa Like fine wine Member of the peerage Flying solo Shaun, for one Eugene of travel guides 8 1/2” x 11” size, for short Say “I guess we’ll take DiCaprio”? Disappear into thin air “Sweet” Roman numeral? Yes, at the altar Hit the weights, maybe At the Movies cohost “O.K., pontoon, I hear ya loud and clear”? Succulent plant

69 Bawl out 70 Brockovich of lawsuit fame 71 Grateful Dead bassist Phil 72 Pang of pain 73 Pineapple packager

DOWN

1 2 3 4 5 6

7 8 9 10 11 12 13 18 19 24 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 36

Pocketed, as a pool ball Butter substitute Bean mentioned in The Silence of the Lambs Do the Right Thing Oscar nominee Danny Hereditary helix “Club Can’t Handle Me” rapper Flo ___ Old French coins “Hey sailor!” Biographical bit Hawaiian pizza ingredient Shaq’s surname Live at the Acropolis New Ager Overhead storage Breakneck Straight ___ Compton Brush-off Wants to know Hot springs Julia’s Notting Hill costar S-shaped molding Botanical transplant Marcia’s mom Battery’s negative terminal “___ be sweet!”

37 38 40 42

45 47 50 51 52 53 54 58 59 60 62 63 64 66 67

Flat fee Farming prefix ‘50s sitcom name L.A. hardcore punk band with the 1994 album “Punk in Drublic” Green sauce Moved about Pushing force Like corduroy and, um... (hey, get your mind out of the gutter!) Crucial “Chasing Pavements” singer Cautionary list Aqueduct feature Frankenstein helper ___ contendere (court plea) 100 cents, in Cyprus Agitate Actress Daly Disgusted utterance Dedicatory verse

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION

Rachel Kramer Bussel is the author of the essay collection Sex & Cupcakes and editor of over 50 erotica anthologies, most recently Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica.

‘ O FOR TWO ’ singles only, please.

LET’S GET IT ON

BY RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL

JONESIN ’

Dee Viant

A T YPICAL DAY AT A PHILLY PORN COMPANY DEE VIANT, BLOGGING editor-in-chief of Philadelphia porn company HotMovies (hotmovies.com), starts her workday probably just the way you do: at her desk, with a cup of coffee, in a cubicle. Yet her job promoting the network of on-demand adult video sites is a bit unusual. You’ve probably never tweeted, “Hey, I can match a cock to the owner! I’m not useless” while on the clock. (Follow @FetishMovieBlog for more of her musings.) When Viant tells people she works in porn, the usual reaction is, “That must be such a fun job.” Yes and no. She doesn’t deny there are great perks, but cautions would-be porn peddlers that it’s still, well, a job. “It’s not a party all the time,” she says. “We’re not having sex on our desks. It’s not debaucherous. You don’t get to jack off here. We’ve had people come to work thinking, ‘I’m gonna watch porn all day,’ who end up editing gay leather videos and saying, ‘That’s not what I want to watch.’ But it’s not about what you want to watch; it’s your job.” Fittingly, she’s able to rattle off porn star names and their specialties rapid-fire, noting with admiration Adriana Chechik’s ability to perform triple anal, the XXX equivalent of a “stupid human trick.” She’s also learned what porn viewers really want. “When I started three years ago, my idea was that everybody who watched porn wanted to see lesbians and anal, which is not untrue, but I was really surprised to realize cuckolding was so big. It’s a very popular search term.” (Cuckolding is when a man’s wife is cheating on him — but he likes it.) She’s found that porn fans are incredibly dedicated to supporting their favorite stars, and says there’s a resulting “sweetness in hardcore” you might not expect. “There’s a guy who makes it a point to get on Twitter and remind people to watch Tanya Tate’s videos.” Being open-minded is an essential component of the job; while some are experts in a particular type of porn, like gonzo, all have to be conversant in many subgenres, but if there’s something you truly can’t stomach, you can pass on it. In Viant’s case, that’s food porn. She’s just not into watching people mix sex and eating, which has become a joke around the office. “Today someone showed me a gay video of a guy stepping in a pizza and another guy licking pizza grease off his foot.” She can laugh about it, but is grateful she can delegate those videos to someone else. While the epicenter of the porn biz is L.A., this local company does get involved in the Philly community; GayHotMovies. com is hosting the underwear fashion show and auction, #SpecialDelivery: Philly’s Packin, on Aug. 29 at Voyeur. Has Viant ever felt discriminated against because she’s a woman in a business largely focused on naked ladies? “Never,” says Viant, “but I’ve definitely felt that in more formal workplaces. At the office, it’s a business environment; we have to be mature about sex.” Yet she can appreciate some of the more absurd aspects of her job. She gets to travel to Las Vegas for the annual AVN (Adult Video News) convention, where Ron Jeremy signs DVDs — and body parts — at their booth. Her most surreal experience? “At AVN, it’s known that if you’re interested, Ron will lift up your top and fondle and/or kiss and suck your breasts. This year, one of the AVN staffers told me, ‘You’ve got to tell Ron the nipples have to stay covered.’ That was just hysterical. I thought, ‘What the fuck is my life?’” (rachelcitypaper@gmail.com)

@RAQUELITA


28 // A UGUST 27 - SEP T EMBER 2, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

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