Philadelphia City Paper, September 10th, 2015

P H I L A D E L P H I A

SEPTEMBER 10 - SEPTEMBER 16, 2015 ISSUE #1580

BUZZ FEED MEET THE HIVE MINDS BEHIND PHILLY’S HONEYCOMB HIDEOUTS.

BY JENN LADD

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET

STILL STANDING YOU

Pieter Ampe & Guilherme Garrido | CAMPO (Belgium/Portugal) Painted Bride Art Center | 230 Vine St Sept 9, 10, 11 at 7pm

[or] Still supporting you. [or] Still bearing you. [or] Still standing for you. [or] Still standing with you. [or] Still standing. [or] Just still.

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Photo: Phile Deprez

Tickets: FringeArts.com 215.413.1318

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C I T Y PA P E R . N ET

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FAIRMOUNT FLEA MARKET

IN THIS ISSUE … p. 14

Largest Outdoor Flea Market In Center City!

More Than 150 Vintage Vendors From The Tri-State Area Surrounding The Eastern State Penitentiary 22nd & Fairmount Sat, Sept 12th

(RAIN DATE - SUNDAY) 8AM TIL 5PM Parking Available In The Adjacent Lot

www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org Proceeds Benefit “Friends Of ESP Park”

SEPT. 10 - SEPT. 17, 2015 // CIT YPAPER.NET

THE ROBOT SAYS THANKS FOR ENDING MY MISERY

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IN PENN & INK, c o m i c a r t i s t Ma ë l l e Doliveux tells the story of HitchBOT’s demise, this time from the little robot’s point of view.

Doliveux is a French and Swiss illustrator, car toonist and an imator who lives and works in New York City. Her contribution to last year’s an thology Little Nemo: Dream Another Dream, published by Philly’s Locust Moon Press, recently was awarded a gold medal from the Society of Illustrators in the comic-strip category.

CP STAFF Associate Publisher Jennifer Clark Editor in Chief Lillian Swanson Senior Editor Patrick Rapa Arts & Culture Editor Mikala Jamison

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Food Editor Jenn Ladd Senior Staff Writer Emily Guendelsberger Staff Writer Jerry Iannelli Copy Chief Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, Dotun Akintoye, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Bryan Bierman, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Mark Cofta, Adam Erace, David Anthony Fox, Caitlin Goodman, K. Ross Hoffman, Jon Hurdle, Deni Kasrel, Alli Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Josh Kruger, Drew Lazor, Alex Marcus, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, John Morrison, Michael Pelusi, Natalie Pompilio, Sameer Rao, Jim Saksa, Elliott Sharp, Marc Snitzer, Nikki Volpicelli, Brian Wilensky, Andrew Zaleski, Julie Zeglen.

Production Director Dennis Crowley Senior Designer/Social Media Director Jenni Betz

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AULETTO CATERERS

Weddings s 'ARDEN #EREMONIES Lovely ,AKE 6IEWS s 7INE #ELLARS

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Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Charles Mostoller, Hillary Petrozziello, Maria S. Young, Neal Santos, Mark Stehle U.S. Circulation Director Joseph Lauletta (ext. 239) Account Managers Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Russell Marsh (ext. 260), Susanna Simon (ext. 250) Classified Account Manager Jennifer Fisher (215-717-2681) Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel founded City Paper in a Germantown storefront in November 1981. Local philanthropist Milton L. Rock purchased the paper in 1996 and published it until August 2014 when Metro US became the paper’s third owner.

CIT YPAPER.NET @CIT YPAPER

Renovations coming January 2016 Don’t Miss Our Complimentary Bridal Show on Monday, September 21st, 2015 Register Online at www.auletto.com

Graphic Designer Megan Milburn

30 South 15th Street, Fourteenth Floor, Phila., PA 19102.

215-735-8444, Listings Fax 215-875-1800, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535.

BEST BIG WEEKLY IN PA 2015 KEYSTONE PRESS AWARDS

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COVER PHOTOGRAPH // Maria S. Young COVER DESIGN // Jenni Betz

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET

THE CLAY STUDIO

CLAY FEST Presented By PNC Arts Alive A Free Community Festival

Saturday, September 12, 10am-4pm

10am – 1pm

1pm – 4pm

Make a clay animation movie

Decorate your own bowl

Help us create a giant clay sculpture

Watch as artists turn two tons of clay into incredible works of art

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Learn to throw on the pottery wheel

Watch as artists turn two tons of clay into incredible works of art

Learn to throw on the pottery wheel

11:30am and 1:30pm

Tour The Clay Studio’s galleries, school, and artist studios Media Sponsor:

Special Thanks:

PHILADELPHIA

137-139 n 2nd street, philadelphia pa 19106

215 925 3453 у www.theclaystudio.org

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PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // SEP T EMBER 10 - SEP T EMBER 16, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

THE BELL CURVE

OUR WEEKLY QUALITY-OF-LIFE-O-METER

+1

THIS WEEK ’S TOTAL: +3 // THE YEAR SO FAR: -14

-2

District Attorney Seth Williams announces he will not fire anyone over the “porngate” scandal. “It would have taken forever to figure out who was guilty of what,” says Williams. “So I decided to just seize everything they had on them and drop the case.”

+1

The World Meeting of Families announces the musical acts that will perform before Pope Francis’ speech at Independence Hall, including the Philly Pops Festival Brass, an African dance and drum group, a mariachi band and more. “We have no idea what he’s into, but …

I mean, we gotta be close on one of these, right? ”

+3

Philly native/ marijuana activist Bobby Tuna begins airing pro-medical marijuana spots on local radio stations. “You know, I used to think all this ‘legalize it’ business was just an excuse for a bunch of hippie dippy dudes to get high at the mall,” says motorist. “But then I heard the reasoned arguments of Mr. Robert Tuna, and I saw the light.”

SEPTA increases the number of subway stations that will be open during the pope’s visit. “Under this contingency, train doors will remain closed at all times, but the trains themselves will follow a normal weekend schedule,” says SEPTA spokesperson. “Seeing the empty cars arriving and departing may perhaps provide some comfort as the hours grow long.”

JO N D AW SO N

-1

The World Meeting of Families announces that many of the pope’s appearances will be ticketed but there will be two parades open to the public. Hmmm, a bunch of old white dudes marching down the street in extravagant dresses representing traditions we can’t quite reconcile with modern life? Thank you for pandering to the hometown crowd.

1

+

A Flyers fan starts a fundraising campaign to buy the Pittsburgh Penguins. But his plan, upon completing the purchase, to compel one of his new employees, Sidney Crosby, to forgo playing hockey in favor of a career “wearing a diaper and crying his dumb baby face off till he explodes” is a blatant OSHA violation and it makes us wonder how seriously to take this whole thing.

LOU BARLOW

SECRET CINEMA: OUTSIDE THE WALL

Ever since Secret Cinema began hosting screenings inside the peeling, claustrophobic walls of Eastern State Pen it entiary, Outside the Wall has been something of a Holy Grail for series founder Jay Schwartz.The little-known 1950 crime thriller, starring Richard Basehart as an excon, was filmed in various recognizable Philly locations — including inside the then-operational ESP, making this overdue screening a homecoming for the long-lost obscurity.

9/11, Eastern State Penitentiary, thesecretcinema. com. —Shaun Brady

When your most prominent credit is Tommy Wiseau’s notorious un-masterwork The Room, perhaps it’s wise to embrace the infamy.

With the invaluable help of co-author Tom Bissell, Greg Sestero’s The Disaster Artist allowed the actor to position himself as in on the joke rather than one of its butts. At PhilaMOCA, Sestero will read from the hysterical book and reprise the role of Mark in scenes live with fans. 9/11, PhilaMOCA, philamoca. org. —Shaun Brady

Weyes Blood

WEYES BLOOD

LAURA LYNN PETRICK

more picks on p. 25

A NIGHT WITH GREG SESTERO

RACHEL ENNEKING

QUICK PICKS

Lou Barlow Deep Wound, Dinosaur Jr., Sebadoh, The Folk Implosion — Lou Barlow has been a pivotal force in some of the best bands of the ’80s and ’90s. His solo career has proved to be just as satisfying, starting with Sentridoh in ’87 and then under his own name since 2005. His latest, Brace the Wave, was released by Joyful Noise Recordings last week. Hop Along’s Frances Quinlan opens the show with a solo set of her own. 9/10, Johnny KUMAIL NANJIANI Brenda’s, johnnybrendas. com.—Cynthia Schemmer Last month, T.J. Miller rolled through the Troc.

This month, we get his Silicon Valley co-star Kumail Nanjiani, a seasoned standup with some of the most tightly crafted and astute material in the game. Pakistani-born, Nanjiani uses his immigrant status to set himself apart from standard observational comics, delivering jokes wide-eyed, with exaggerated sincerity and amazement at the absurdity in daily American life.

9/10, The Trocadero, the troc.com. —Alex Marcus

Pennsylvania-born Natalie Mering named her musical project after the Flannery O’Connor novel Wise Blood — the dark story of a World War II veteran suffering a crisis of faith after returning home to his quirky Southern hometown. Weyes Blood relates, often writing songs about travel, a decrepit America and a loss of faith in self while drawing from ’60s protest songs. 9/15, Johnny Brenda’s, johnnybrendas. com.—Cynthia Schemmer

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C I T Y PA P E R . N ET

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PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // SEP T EMBER 10 - SEP T EMBER 16, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

THENAKEDCITY

NEWS // OPINION // POLI T ICS

FOOL’S GOLD: Andrea Thies, a five-year Airbnb veteran, says she thinks newbies to the home-sharing site got fooled by the hype, thinking they could make thousands of dollars.

MARK STEHLE

POPENADO!

BY EMILY GUENDELSBERGER

AT POPE TIME, PRICE BOOM IS A BUST

City residents who listed their homes and spare rooms on Airbnb say there is less demand than usual during the weekend Pope Francis will be in Philly. “ A I R B N B H O S T S R AT C H E T Prices to $6,000 a Night for Papal Visit to Philadelphia,” was the headline in the U.K.’s Daily Telegraph in July, snarking, “Pope Francis may have eschewed worldly wealth and described the pursuit of money as the ‘dung of the devil,’ but that has not stopped residents of Philadelphia cashing in on a forthcoming papal visit.”

The situation, or so it appeared in the earlier months of preparations for the papal visit, was just too perfectly ironic. Even now, there are listings on Airbnb asking potential travelers to pay $5,500 a night. But Airbnb rentals that show up on the site are the ones that haven’t been booked, so the prices of what’s available don’t necessarily mean much — except that the host is very optimistic. Having heard that the Airbnb market was actually kind of a bust, we decided to check out the hype. Was anyone actually making tons of money hosting pilgrims on Airbnb?

“We started out at something ridiculously high, like $500 a night,” says Tom Hillhouse, who for the past two years has been renting out the spare bedroom in his Fishtown rowhome on Airbnb at $79 a night.

“We didn’t expect to get a whole lot of bookings at that price, but we wanted to make sure we didn’t undervalue our listing,” he says. Though he’s gradually dropped the price to $299 since then, he says, “We haven’t gotten any inquiries.”

In fact, there actually appears to be less demand for the Sept. 26 -27 weekend the pope will be in Philly than usual. “The Airbnb website has a suggested price algorithm that will tell you: ‘Here’s what you should be charging for this room based on the demand Airbnb sees for that weekend.’ Their recommended price for [the pope] weekend for our listing is only $77,” says Hillhouse.

Scott Pawlowski, an Airbnb member since 2012, rents multiple rooms in his Olde Kensington house under listings

titled “Cozy hostel w/ amenities” that normally run between $30 and $50. It’s more than a hobby for him and his partner — they’re booked“every day, 365 days a year,” he laughs. He’s also experiencing much lower demand than usual at the prices he’s offering for pope weekend.

“When the buzz was at its height, we were at $350 a night; then August rolled around and we still hadn’t gotten any hits, and we lowered it another $100.”

Still no interest. “I actually just lowered it today to $100 a night,” says Pawlowski.

Was the lack of demand surprising?

“Yeah, it kind of was! They were saying there’s 2 million people coming to the city and there’s only a certain number of hotel rooms — so clearly people are going to be looking elsewhere.”

At $40, Lily Yu’s listing for the small, spare bedroom of her apartment near Drexel’s campus is, at the moment this is being written, the lowest-priced option on Airbnb. It’s vaguely within walking distance of the Parkway. “I didn’t really expect to make a lot of money out of it.

I’m just trying to make full use of the room and help cover the rent,” she says.

Yu signed up for Airbnb this summer and has already hosted four people, setting the price at $40 after doing some online research on what similar rooms rent for. She didn’t change her rates for the papal weekend because she sort of forgot when the pope was coming, she says sheepishly. Even at $40 a night, she hasn’t had any inquiries for the papal weekend yet.When informed of the high prices some hosts are hoping to get, Yu laughs, shocked. “Five thousand dollars!

I had no idea people were so desperate!”

“These stories, ‘Oh, I’m getting $10,000 a night’ — it’s all hoopla,” says

Andrea Thies, a five-year Airbnb veteran. Thies, a leasing agent, manages three Airbnb listings around 20th and Spruce — two apartments for her job, plus her own studio. She actually does have renters for pope weekend.

The two apartments she manages rented immediately after the announcement of the pope’s visit back in February.

“It was announced, and boom, they were rented before I even had the chance to up the prices.”

If they hadn’t been snapped up immediately, Thies says she would have repriced them at somewhere between 1.5 to 2 times their usual value, a little bit higher than where she prices them for big, city-filling events like Made in America and the University of Pennsylvania’s graduation.

Thies usually only lists her own studio, usually at $80 to $100 a night, when she’s going to be out of town or during big festivals. Seeing how quickly the other two had gone at uninflated prices, she listed hers for $200 a night and figured she’d go stay with family if someone took it. (“I’m not going to charge anybody more than $200 a night for a 400-squarefoot studio, that would be outrageous.”)

It took a few weeks for the listing to be booked, she says, even though at the height of Popemania “it was the lower end of the price spectrum — everything else was probably $500 to $800.”

‘These stories, ‘Oh, I’m getting $10,000 a night’ — it’s all hoopla.’

Thies says she thinks many Airbnb hosts, particularly new ones, got fooled by the hype about making thousands of dollars and massively overestimated how much people would be willing to pay.

Some of them saw the rent calculator at Popedelphia.com, a website frequently name-checked in media coverage of Pope housing as “a clearinghouse for listings on Craigslist, Airbnb and other home-sharing sites.” Though the listings on Popedelphia tend to look way more expensive, with far more listings in the

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AT POPE TIME, PRICE BOOM IS A BUST

five digits, the site itself is kind of low-rent. Pernight and per-week prices get jumbled together (likely the root of some of the confusion about seemingly outrageous nightly prices) and someweb scraping misfire results in a rental listing for Buy Generic Viagra Online. (Oddly, this has roughly the same amount of views as the real listings.) Even at this late date, the minimum price suggested by the site’s papal rental calculator is $1,500.

“I have friends come out of the woodwork to put their places up for way too much money — no one has even contacted them,” says Thies. “I just went to dinner with some of them last night and they were, like, ‘Yeah, I think I’m going to put it up for $800 a night.’ I’m, like, ‘The Sofitel isn’t even booked.’ There are hotels in Philadelphia that aren’t fully committed — whereas with Penn graduation, you can’t get a room in Philadelphia.

“The reason my Airbnb is so successful is because there aren’t enough hotel rooms in Philadelphia,” says Thies. “Whenever there’s two or three conferences going on, I sell out that weekend.”

“I think people may be getting creative,” says Pawlowski, theorizing about the lack of demand for his listing. He noted that The Philadelphia Zoo rented out some of its space. “People are staying with friends, staying outside the city,” he says.

There’s also the World Meeting of Familes’ Host-A-Family program, which, with the help of the archdiocese, had signed up 1,750 participating families in the Philadelphia area, as of last week, to offer cheap or free rooms to pilgrims.

Even this close to the papal visit, there’s still a lot of truly choice places to stay.

A loft at 21st and Green, practically front row for the Mass on the Parkway, is listed for a $50 suggested donation per night. One block from the Cathedral Basilica of SS. Peter and Paul, there’s “a bedroom with a queen-size bed for a non-North American couple” available for a dollar a night.

A guest room in a doorman condo building at 22nd and Chestnut is also listed for $1, though

the host (who mentions that she is not Catholic) clarifies, “I am offering the room free of charge and will not accept any compensation.”

That’s some pretty stiff competition for all those three-, fourand five-figure prices still loitering on Airbnb.

“I’m still noticing a lot of places nearby us in Fish town and North ern Lib er ties that are still priced pretty high,” says Pawlowski.

“It seems like people want the $500 a night reservation or nothing at all.Whereas us, we’re going to keep lowering our price until we book somebody; we were hoping to make a quick extra buck, but we’re in the business for the long haul, so we’re fine with a lower price.”

The re luct ance of travelers to pay inflated prices for an Airbnb makes sense to Pawlowski, though.

“You could go to the Vat ican and see the pope for the same price that you’re going to pay for an outrageous room on Airbnb in Philly, so the benefits prob ably aren’t outweighing the costs.” (emilyg@citypaper. net, @emilygee)

TELL IT TO HIM, PHILLY-ST YLE

JEFFREY BRUNO:ALETEIA

WHAT WOULD YOU like to tell Pope Francis about life in Philly? Write your own message, up to 150 words, and City Paper will publish the best essays in our our Sept.

24 issue. There’s no guarantee the pontiff will actually read your messages, but maybe it’s the right time to push all the pomp aside and tell it like it is — Philly style.

You’re welcome to write about whatever’s on your mind — the condition of our prisons, the impact of the priest sex-abuse scandals or the number of homeless people on our streets. Or, tell him something good. It’s up to you.

Message us by email at editorial@citypaper.net, and include your name and neighborhood (and a daytime phone number, for verification purposes only). Put “Pope Talk” in the subject line.

Who knows? We may find a way to get our paper, and your message, under his nose.

WEDNESDAYS THROUGH SEPTEMBER 16 5PM - 7PM

HOSTED BY

$3 BEERS, $4 WINE AND $5 COCKTAILS LIVE DJ PLAYS FROM 6-8PM Every Wednesday, Rosa Blanca Café at Dilworth Park will participate in this Center City summertime tradition featuring Two Gingers Whiskey to sip at the PNC Terrace.

AT CITY HALL

DILWORTHPARK.ORG

PRESENTS

SPRINGFIELD DAY!!

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET

SOLDIER BEAR

PHILADELPHIA TRAINING ACADEMY

SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 12, 2015 10AM-7PM ONE DAY ONLY CLUB MEMBERSHIPS $89.00 (1 YEAR) FREE RANGE TIME FREE RENTALS FREE TARGETS

DISCOUNTS ON ALL SPRINGFIELD PISTOLS COMPLIMENTARY FOOD & BEVERAGES

world war II Family redefined

SPRINGFIELD REPRESENTATIVE AND NRA INSTRUCTORS ON SITE

based on a true story

Sept. 10-19th www.panteaproductions.com

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M T. A I R Y U S A P R E S E N T S

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET

MT. AIRY

Welcome to Mt. Airy, Philadelphia’s village in the city. CNN Money’s “Best Big-City Neighborhood” is a diverse and welcoming community that melds sophisticated sensibilities with a laid-back lifestyle. From an emerging restaurant scene to beautiful historic homes, from a bustling business district to the scenic trails of the great Wissahickon, Mt. Airy is the neighborhood that has it all – Go Mt. Airy!

Street Fare: Sip, Savor, Stroll Street Fare showcases Mt. Airy’s growing and vibrant restaurant scene to the entire region. On Thursday, September 17th, Street Fare will pair award-winning mobile food vendors with notable local restaurants and bars for a night of street eats, craft brews, handcrafted cocktails and wine. Mt. Airy restaurants will include Earth Bread + Brewery, Herb Scott Catering, Jyoti Indian Bistro, and Trolley Car Diner. Food truck, carts, and stands will include Dump-N-Roll, Farm Truck Philly, Foolish Waffles, Hai Street Kitchen & Co., Ka’Chi, Mac Mart Cart, Oink and Moo BBQ, PB and Jams, Pbons Fresh Phood, Say Cheese and Weckerly’s. More than 50+ vendors and restaurants have already signed on. Bring your appetite!

While strolling historic Germantown Avenue, shop from an artisan fair organized by Renaissance Craftables that includes Russ Brown Photography, Philly Word Art, Philly Phaithful, Broad Street Broad, Stitch Prism and Sweet Sally’s Soaps. Enjoy free family fun with locally designed temporary tattoos from Mt. Airy-based Kadillac Tattoo, kid’s hairstyles from Culture Hair Salon, an arts and crafts station from Mary’s Learning Academy, and more!

Entertainment will include live music on two stages from School of Rock, ReLive, Hennessey Bonfire, Bethlehem & Sad Patrick, Philly Bloco, and The Band Sheep.

With the region’s most unique eats, locally brewed beers, handcrafted cocktails, music from around the globe and free family fun, this is truly an event that you won’t want to miss!

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Dining In a city that takes its dining scene seriously, this quaint neighborhood is making a big splash and leaves a lasting impression. Fresh fare with a friendly smile is the standard in our cozy restaurants and cafes. Try a soul food platter, have a house-brewed pint, or grab ice cream from a 1948 trolley car. For sophisticated dining in a laid-back atmosphere, dine in Mt. Airy and see what the buzz is about.

Events Outside of Street Fare, there’s always something happening that keeps the excitement alive in Mt. Airy. Every week, restaurants and arts groups host special activities that includes Quizzo, beer tastings, art receptions, open mic nights, walking tours, festivals, live music and more. Other highlights include: UÊ

> ÞÊ À `>ÞÊ Ê" ÊÌ iÊ >ÃÌÊ À `>ÞÊ vÊi>V Ê Ì ]ÊV iÊ ÕÌÊ and enjoy fun festivities in a laid back yet vibrant setting.

Local businesses stay open late and feature special items and events that connect the arts with the neighborhood’s restaurants and retailers. Keep watch for special guest vendors to keep the excitement alive.

UÊ

Ì°Ê ÀÞÊ >ÞÊ qÊ >V Ê Ã«À }]Ê >ÃÌÊ > `Ê 7iÃÌÊ Ì°Ê ÀÞÊ neighbors come together to celebrate our diversity, food and uniqueness. Festivities include 150 vendors, food trucks and local businesses.

UÊ

} ÌÊ Û iÃÊ Ê >V ÊÃÕ iÀ]Ê Ì°Ê ÀÞÊ1- Ê> `ÊÌ iÊ Trolley Car Diner hosts free movie screenings outside at the Lovett Library Park, and at Trolley Car Diner. Bring your lawn chairs and blankets, family and friends!

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,iÛ ÕÌ >ÀÞÊ iÀ > Ì Ü Ê iÃÌ Û> Ê Ê ÛiÀÞÊ v> ]Ê Ì ÃÊ unique celebration features reenactments of the Battle of Germantown on the historic grounds of Clivedon with kids’ activities, Historic Germantown sites showcases and a beer garden.

Year-Round Fun Northwest Philadelphia is home to historic treasures, outdoor adventures and fun for all ages. From Forbidden Drive to a network of trails, there’s always a new path to discover on a trip to the Wissahickon. Enjoy rock climbing, horseback riding, biking, fishing, bird watching, feeding the ducks, picnicking and much more. Journey to the past and discover living history. Discover >Ê +Õ> iÀÊ Ã>viÊ ÕÃiÊ v ÀÊ ÀÕ >Ü>ÞÊ Ã >ÛiÃÊ Ê Ì iÊ 1 `iÀ}À Õ `Ê Railroad. Wander throughout the residential streets and admire more than 250 years of architectural history. Venture into historic houses that are open to the public. Sip on sangria inside an 18th century estate or enjoy a Dickens production in a restored Victorian mansion. Let your night at Street Fare be the first of many visits for all these treasures.

Getting Here Philadelphia’s Village in the city is only a short drive or SEPTA ride away from Center City. Two regional rail lines connect Mt. Airy to Center City Philadelphia. East Mt. Airy is served by The Chestnut Hill East line (formerly the R7) at the Mount Airy, Sedgwick, Stenton and Washington Lane stations. West Mt. Airy is served by the Chestnut Hill West line (formerly the R8) at the Allen Lane,

>À«i ÌiÀ]Ê 1«Ã> Ê > `Ê /Õ «i V i Ê ÃÌ>Ì Ã°Ê / iÊ - */ Ê ÓÎÊ LÕÃÊ also travels the length of Germantown Avenue through Mt. Airy.

Driving in with the family? By day, enjoy complimentary parking at a free municipal parking lot on Germantown Avenue, or at night park for free on Germantown Avenue itself after 6:00pm (and on Sundays).

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C I T Y PA P E R . N ET

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SEPT. 10 - SEPT. 17, 2015 // CIT YPAPER.NET

WHAT IS A shuttered public school building worth? The answer, it seems, depends on whom you ask.

Last week, activists at Jobs with Justice (JWJ) launched an Internet campaign against the reuse of the former Bok Technical High School in South Philadelphia. JWJ said the School District had sold the building for way below the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s valuation of it and decried its use for a pop-up beer garden and a yoga studio.

The financially beleaguered School District slated Bok for closure in 2013 and sold the building for $1.75 million to a development team called Scout. Scout plans to turn Bok into â&#x20AC;&#x153;a new creative ecosystem that seeks to reuse â&#x20AC;Ś existing infrastructure for makers, innovators and entrepreneurs.â&#x20AC;? This summer, Scout used the building for a temporary rooftop beer garden called Le Bok Fin â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and some yoga. (To be fair, students and teachers came up with the name years ago for Bokâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s culinary-arts program.)

The company told the Passyunk Post it wanted folks to see the possibilities for the space as soon as possible.

But activists say the new use makes fun of the School Districtâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard times, and so they wanted to â&#x20AC;&#x153;let patrons know that Le Bok Fin is a sick joke â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and ask them if they really want to be part of an economy that replaces its schools with expensive pop-up beer gardens.â&#x20AC;?

Worse than the optics, though, was the buildingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s price tag, activists say. JWJ strenuously emphasized that the sale price was â&#x20AC;&#x153;$16 million less than the assessed property value.â&#x20AC;?

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true that the city valued the building at over $17 million in 2014. And, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true that the District sold the building to Scout for $1.75 million. So, whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s with the difference?

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The appraisals were $15.5 million apart.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x153;We do not know how the city [attaches] their market value [to] any of our properties,â&#x20AC;? School District spokesman Fernando Gallard tells City Paper. He says a real-estate-appraisal firm, E.H. Lynn & Associates, valued the building at $1.5 million on April 1, 2015. Given that the School District sold the building for $1.75 million on July 6, it sounds like it was actually a good deal for Philly. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I believe all of the properties we have sold have been sold above the appraised value,â&#x20AC;? Gallard says. He laments that the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s valuations often donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t match the Districtâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appraisals, and says he often gets angry calls from the public about it.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clear that the developer didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get out ahead of the complaints and try to understand the fair critisism some were levying against the beer garden and yoga classes. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s equally clear that either the districtâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s property assessment was off â&#x20AC;&#x201D; which doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem likely given that it had to be certified â&#x20AC;&#x201D; or, the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s property-assessment system was seriously flawed this time.

In terms of Bok, though, we should be kissing the developerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s feet for doing something, anything with this beautiful â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and previously vacant â&#x20AC;&#x201D; building. (josh@joshkruger.com, @jawshkruger)

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PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // SEP T EMBER 10 - SEP T EMBER 16, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

PARODY

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET // SEP T EMBER 10 - SEP T EMBER 16, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

I. URBAN BEEKEEPING

BUZZ FEED

D

on Shump’s beater of a minivan charges through tangles of Japanese knotweed in West Philly’s Mount Moriah Cemetery. The AC is set to full-blast, and bulky pest-removal equipment clacks around on top of the bent-down backseats. Shump, the owner of Philadelphia Bee Co., navigates overgrown brush that’s swallowed an untold number of headstones and grave markers.

A slab of a wasp’s nest that once was part of a beehive slides back and forth on the dashboard. The comb is slick and hard, covered in what appears to be solidified resin. “The bees entombed that wasp’s nest in their colony,” the 10-year-veteran beekeeper says, explaining the ornament.

Shump has an entourage in tow today: myself, a photographer and a group of teens with the Student Conservation Association. In separate cars, we wend our way through the wilds of the sprawling cemetery to the site of his Southwest Philadelphia honeybee hives. There, Shump will outline the basics of beekeeping for the students.

But first we have to get there. Shump stops the van at one point, grabs a pair of hedge trimmers and starts lopping off shrub branches in hopes of saving his guests’ vehicles from unsightly scrapes.

Mount Moriah might not seem like the most convenient field trip destination, but given Philadelphia Bee Co.’s 13 or so other hive locations, this is the best option. Shump maintains broods on hotel and restaurant rooftops. To check on them, the former high school football player has to hoist himself through roof hatches and wriggle through crawl spaces. Not to mention having to lug the hives up in the first place.

In the past decade, beekeeping has gained popularity nationally and locally. As knowledge of colony collapse has become mainstream, the number of hives has climbed: A 2014 Department of Agriculture report counted 2.7 million hives in the U.S., the highest number in 20 years. In Philadelphia, city dwellers who want to get more hands-on with food and agriculture can turn to beekeeping, which doesn’t require tracts of land. There are more than 350 registered honeybee colonies in the city, a significant uptick from a decade

15

MEET THE HIVE MINDS BEHIND PHILLY’S HONEYCOMB HIDEOUTS. WORDS BY JENN LADD PHOTOS BY MARIA S. YOUNG

ago, according to Shump.

Beekeepers here are numerous enough to have their own organization. The six-year-old Philadelphia Beekeepers Guild now claims more than 150 members. Attendance at the guild’s Honey Festival has grown from 500 in 2010 to more than 2,500 in 2014. A growing contingent of Philadelphians are finding they can learn how to manage bees, care for hives in a small space and collect a reward that’s sweeter than honey in the process.

And in the city, anyone with a potted plant outside the door is an unknowing participant in nudging along the life cycle of a hive.

Shump’s presentation on this muggy August morning covers the basics of beekeeping. “As you work the bees, a lot of what we do is based on feel and hearing,” Shump explains to the teenagers — now clad in jackets and mesh veils to protect from stings — clustered around the Mount Moriah hives, home to more than a quarter-million bees. You can detect the bees’ mood by listening to their collective buzz. You can wear gloves, he says, but you’re liable to squish more bees, since you’ll be deprived of the tactile sense.

Next, he launches into the daily life of a bee: Scout out nectar sources in the morning, report back to the hive and do a “waggle dance” to convey where the other bees should fly.

“See the yellow?” Shump asks the group, indicating a goldenrod-colored fuzz on a frame he’s removed from a hive. “That’s actually pollen — that’s their protein.”

In addition to honey production and

hive removal, education makes up a key part of Philadelphia Bee Co.’s business, and Shump can gear his lessons to any age. The beekeepers’ guild also offers classes for novices and higher-level beekeepers. But many beekeepers study informally under a friend’s tutelage, as did Chelsea Thoumsin.

The Counter Culture Coffee customer-support rep learned beekeeping from a friend in Berwyn. She’s kept her own hives for two years now, but her place in Rittenhouse doesn’t have roof access, so she practices what she laughingly refers to as “guerrilla beekeeping.”

This year she has a patch of land in Gray’s Ferry, allotted to her by the Schuylkill River Development Corp.

But last year, Thoumsin’s two hives resided at Counter Culture’s training center in Graduate Hospital. She bought about $1,200 worth of equipment (woodenware, frames, hive tools, a jacket and a veil, etc.) and set the hives up on a third-floor balcony. She had to climb through the landlord’s bedroom window to access them. “My first thought was, ‘If they [the bees] ever really got mad at me, I don’t have anywhere to go,’” she says.

Luckily, she averted any incident. She estimates she’s been stung a dozen times in three years of beekeeping. Shump, by contrast, once endured more than 50 stings in a sitting. Both beekeepers talk about their bees’ moods as if they were people. Shump calls angry or aggressive colonies “hot hives,” though he says he tries not to anthropomorphize the bees too much.

Thoumsin says her two hives this summer have been fairly mild-mannered, but one just replaced its queen.

continued on p. 16

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continued f rom p. 15 “I think she’s a little bitchier,” she says.

Beekeepers become attuned to their hives’ feelings, and they tend to express sympathy for bees whose emotional well-being is ignored — which is the case for bees that are part of large-scale commercial operations. Their hives are Saran-wrapped together and trucked around the country in tractor-trailers to feed on whatever crop happens to be in season. “The pollination circuit is stressful for the bees,” says Suzanne Matlock, a Mt. Airy beekeeper and president of the Philadelphia Beekeepers Guild. The strain makes the bees more susceptible to disease and puts them at risk of contaminating other, healthy bees.

When hobbyists care for bees, they don’t have much need to transport their hives. They merely manage colonies: seeing if the queen is laying eggs, monitoring for diseases or mites or any maladies and ensuring the bees have enough room in a hive. They might do this once every two or three weeks in the summer, less often during the winter. That’s when a beekeeper has to pull back and hope for the best — that a hive can weather the cold. During that time, the bees cluster together to keep each other warm and feed on stored food.

Last winter, Shump lost 50 percent of his beehives — a little below average for Pennsylvania beekeepers. Thoumsin, who was tending to her first-ever hives, lost all her bees, even though they had an ample store of honey to eat. “I opened the hive, and they were like 2 inches away from honey and they starved,” she says, explaining the bees weren’t populous enough to move the cluster to new honey quickly enough. She had to throw out the dead bees. “It was pretty heartwrenching.”

That potential for loss is one risk of beekeeping. But many beekeepers say the rewards outweigh the challenges — and aren’t measured purely in honey.

“It’s surprising how calming [beekeeping] is,” Matlock says. Some might think it would be stressful sticking your hand in a beehive, she says, but she finds it almost meditative. It forces her to focus.

For those hesitant to chance the perils of urban beekeeping, however, there’s still a role for non-keepers. Bees in the city pollinate the flowers on our patios and by our doorsteps. They feed on the weeds in abandoned lots. “That’s blight for a lot of people,” Shump says, “but that’s all food for my bees.”

Thoumsin distributes packets of wildflower seeds through an organization she founded called The Pollinator Project; the variety of plants in the packet bloom during different seasons, so that bees will always have something to feed.

“Lots of people are asking what they can do to help bees,” she says. The answer is simple. “Plant flowers.”

II. HONEY NUTS

W

hen the chefs at Shane Confectionery cook a batch of honeycomb candy, the thirdfloor kitchen fills with the scent of honey.

“It’s a real delight,” says Shane co-owner Eric Berley.

To make the sweet — which is folded into sister business Franklin Fountain’s honeycomb ice cream — the confectioner mixes water and baking soda with the honey that’s been extracted from Shane’s rooftop hives, which are managed by Don Shump.

The concoction foams in a pot as it cooks and then is poured out onto a tabletop, where it’s hand-cut into strips. At that temperature, the candy has the consistency of pudding, Berley says. But when it

cools, it’s crunchy. Its color resembles the inside of a Butterfinger, but the treat has none of that candy bar’s stability.

“It has to be used very quickly because it’s very hygroscopic,” Berley says. “It’ll start to get soggy.” In fact, when the candy is added into Franklin Fountain ice cream, it melts back into liquid honey over time.

So the Shane/Franklin staff has to make fresh batches often. The Old City ice cream parlor sells about 25 gallons of the stuff each week.

For cooks and confectioners alike, honey offers a more complex, versatile sweetener than sugar. It takes on characteristics of the plants that bees pollinate, so its flavor, color and intensity are mutable with the seasons.

Come fall, the honeycomb ice cream recipe will get tweaked: The confectioners will cook the honeycomb at a higher temperature, caramelizing it more; then they’ll add salt. The resultant ice cream flavor is dubbed autumn honeycomb. “It’s a darker amber color than the summer honey,” Berley says.

Honeycomb can be chewed like bubble gum. But at East Passyunk’s Paradiso restaurant, chef Lynn Rinaldi incorporates whole honeycomb retrieved from rooftop hives into the restaurant’s cheese-cart selections.

Rinaldi says that the spring honey tends to be lighter in color and more delicately flavored; this year’s harvest had a lavender undertone. She pairs early honey with

soft cheeses like goat to balance the sweetness with acidity. She breaks out a pungent blue cheese for fall honey, which has a fuller, more caramelly flavor.

Both Rinaldi and Berley agree: The best way to taste the honey is to sample it straight. Its flavor is determined by forage — what sustenance the bees find in a season’s work. So if honeybees happen upon a large field of sunflowers, the resultant honey will be light and herbacious. Not all plants are equal. Buckwheat

continued on p. 18

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continued from p. 16 honey is dark and pungent; Don Shump of Philadelphia Bee Co. says it’s for black coffee and porter drinkers. “I have a morbid curiosity to try onion honey, made from the blooms of onion plants,” he adds. “It’s supposed to be awful.”

All of Philadelphia Bee Co.’s output qualifies as wildflower honey. “It just means the bees kind of went nuts and got into a lot of different things,” Shump says. To classify as a specific honey varietal, at least 51 percent of the honey’s makeup has to derive from the pollen of one type of plant. He wagers his Old City fall harvest honey, from the hives on top of Shane Confectionary’s roof, would pass the test for Japanese knotweed honey. Although knotweed is an invasive species, its honey is fairly desirable — dark in color and robust in flavor without being bitter.

When a beekeeper harvests honey, she takes a frame from the beehive, removing bees from it either with a brush, a firm shake or an escape board — a one-way valve that won’t let bees that have left that frame return. The honey is inside hexagonal cells capped with wax, which is shaved off to extract the honey from the comb. Once the sealant is removed, the honey can be separated from the comb mechanically with an extractor (essentially a centrifuge) or manually.

The wax must be filtered out.

Philadelphia Bee Co. honey can be found in boutique shops like Green Aisle Grocery, Moon + Arrow and Shane Confectionery. Eight-ounce jars of Shump’s honey — the labels reflect region and season — retail for between $14 and $18. “It’s very pricey,” he says, “but that whole process I talked about, running through rooftops, it’s nuts.”

III. BEE LIFE

A

bee’s life shares some trappings of human life: A community that exists within a hive has a clearly defined hierarchy. Bees fill positions based on age and need — bees will act as nurses, guards, foragers, builders, fans and morticians. And, of course, there’s the queen and her entourage.

As sophisticated as that structure seems, “The life of a honeybee is absolutely brutal,” beekeeper Don Shump says.

A queen bee is the center of a hive’s culture. Her temperament determines that of her offspring. She

can live two or three years (by comparison, worker bees stick around only about a month and a half).

She typically mates with 12 to 15 drone bees — who die after mating and serve no other purpose than to fertilize the queen — over the course of several days once in her lifetime, then retires to the hive to lay eggs. She stores up the sperm and can lay between 1,500 to 2,000 eggs a day at her peak. That labor prevents her from doing anything else, so an entourage of bees follows her around the colony, feeding, grooming and cleaning up after her.

When the queen starts to falter, when she cannot produce any more eggs, her purpose is served. The worker bees tend to know her time is near within 40 minutes, Shump says. They make new queens by nourishing larvae exclusively with royal jelly, a protein-rich substance secreted by worker bees. Seven to 15 new queens will emerge after about a week of this diet. And then they kill each other — and the old queen — until one is left. Then, the cycle begins anew.

If a queen lays eggs and a hive is otherwise healthy — free of mites and blights — a colony can live indefinitely. A healthy brood will contain more than 60,000 bees in the summertime. They fly about 15 miles per hour, searching for nectar in a 1.5- to 3-mile radius. They feed on pollen for protein and on nectar or honey for energy.

To make honey, bees suck nectar from flowers, store it in a second stomach and fly it back to the hive, where they transfer it to worker bees. Those bees place the nectar in a cell made from beeswax (also produced by the bees), but the nectar is watery.

So the bees will fan the nectar until its moisture content drops below 18 percent — lest it ferment. Then they cap the cell with wax to preserve it for winter.

A beekeeper might be able to harvest 30 to 60 pounds of honey from a strong colony. But there needs to be at least 75 pounds left in the hive if the bees are to eke out the winter. A colony that survives is likely to swell to such a number that, in the spring, it’s able to split and form a new colony.

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IV. HISTORY & HONEY FRIDAY, SEPT. 11 POLLINATOR POWER Geared to children ages 6 to 12, this program includes waggle dancing instruction, open-hive and honey-extraction demos and a scavenger hunt. 3-5 p.m., Wagner Free Institute, 1700 W. Montgomery Ave., free.

P

HONEY HAPPY HOUR Vendors with bee and honey products will be peddling wares at this event, which will feature mead, beer and kombucha tastings, open-hive and honey-extraction demonstrations and Don Shump dumping bees on his face (at 6:30 p.m.). 5:30 p.m., Wagner Free Institute yard, $10 suggested donation.

hiladelphia’s beekeepers assembled in 2010 to commemorate the 200th birthday of the Rev. Lorenzo Lorraine Langstroth, the inventor of the modern-day, moveable-frame beehive, by installing a historical marker at the building where he was born, 106 S. Front St. The beekeepers planned to call the attendant party Langstroth’s Birthday Bash, but they ultimately changed the name. “It just seemed like Honey Festival was a little more marketable,” says Suzanne Matlock, president of the Philadelphia Beekeepers Guild.

The guild organizes the annual event, which has expanded to three venues and three days. It hopes to draw more than 2,500 people to this year’s fest. Here are highlights of the festival:

SATURDAY, SEPT. 12 OPEN HOUSE Tour the Wyck Historic House and explore a marketplace of local vendors and organizations. Honey, honey beer, open-hive and extraction demos, children’s activities, more bee “bearding” and a guided tour of Wyck’s new permanent full-size hive are among the many offerings on the house’s grounds. 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Wyck Historic House, Garden and Farm, 6026 Germantown Ave., free.

HOMEBREWING WITH HONEY Allentown’s Colony Meadery gives a presentation on meadmaking — complete with samples — in the Wyck rose garden.

Homebrewers can receive professional feedback from

Mike Manning, Colony’s co-founder and mead maker, if they drop off a mead or honey beer to the Wyck house beforehand (Friday from 1 to 4 p.m. or Saturday between 9 and 11 a.m.); participants will be able to try others’ products during a sip-and-share event.

Noon-4 p.m., Wyck Historic House, free. 21 and over.

YOUNG BEEKEEPERS PANEL Young beekeepers share how and why they got involved with bees. 12:30 p.m., Wyck Historic House, free.

BEGINNER BEEKEEPING The Philadelphia Beekeepers Guild presents an overview of what’s taught at its annual three-day course on beekeeping basics.

1:30 p.m., Wyck Historic House, free.

SUNDAY, SEPT. 13 HONEY FEST AT BARTRAM’S GARDEN Feed Philly’s bees by investing in some fall-blooming plants that are pollinator-friendly at Bartram’s plant sale.

During the afternoon, Philly Homebrew gives a demonstration on brewing beer with honey; judges decide the winner of a cooking contest at 11 a.m.; kids participate in a carnival or a bee parade; and people can peek into real hives and see how honey is extracted. Plus, one last bee-beard session. 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Bartram’s Garden, 54th Street and Lindbergh Boulevard, free.

FOR FULL DETAILS ABOUT THE HONEY FESTIVAL, VISIT PHILLYHONEYFEST.COM.

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PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // SEP T EMBER 10 - SEP T EMBER 16, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

BY THE NUMBERS: Sonic Liberation 8 is joining other local arts orgs for an evening of sonic and visual dream interpretation, inspired by “dream books.”

JAZZ/CHAMBER/NEW

BY SHAUN BRADY

LOST IN A DREAM

Daring music ensemble Sonic Liberation 8 taps a supernatural source for its latest numbers.

LONG BEFORE the States got into the lottery racket, illegal numbers games flourished in poor communities across the country, typically within ethnic enclaves — Italian, Irish, Latino or African-American neighborhoods in particular. Bettors would attempt to guess randomly chosen three-digit numbers to win a daily pool. In many African-American communities, those guesses would be supplemented with the aid of a little hoodoo magic in the form of a “dream book” — a small volume listing the subjects of dreams alongside their corresponding lucky numbers. Nearly every conceivable topic is covered, from“flying” to“monkeys;” “the sea” to “mob violence.”

“Elders would ask grandchildren, ‘What did you dream last night?’” explains Kevin Diehl, founder of the band Sonic Liberation 8. “The child would say, ‘I dreamt I was running,’ and they would go play number 135. I thought that was a really interesting, exotic cultural thing right here in our midst that we didn’t know about as

non-African-Americans.”

Diehl has long drawn inspiration from cultures other than his own.

As a fledgling jazz musician in late’70s New York, the percussionist discovered the burgeoning free jazz movement at the same time that he was hearing Latino and Afro-Cuban sounds merging with jazz in various neighborhood scenes. He returned to Philadelphia and formed his own hybrid, merging avant-garde jazz with the Afro-Cuban devotional music of Santería ceremonies to form his long-running ensemble Sonic Liberation Front.

The ensemble has evolved in recent years to become Sonic Liberation 8, a more compositionally focused octet that incorporates elements of chamber and new music into the mix.

Earlier this year the band, supplemented by string players, premiered a number of new works featuring saxophone great Oliver Lake which will comprise its upcoming recording. On Saturday, the ensemble will team with

ARTS // MUSIC // T HEAT ER // BOOKS

several other culturally minded local performance groups for Diehl’s most ambitious work to date, a multimedia suite titled “The Dream Book.”

To bring those dreams to life, Sonic Liberation 8 will be joined by Kùlú Mèlé Dance Company, the Prometheus Chamber Orchestra, post-punk poetess Moor Mother Goddess, CubanAmerican vocalist Mayita Angarcica and video artists Hubbard & Son. Together they’ll present an evening of sonic and visual dream interpretation that Freud would never have imagined.

The piece is divided into six movements, each named for an Orisha — the spirits of Yoruba and Santería — and their accompanying dream. There’s Eleguá, whose dream deals with journeys (#186);Yemaya and the seas (#742); Obatala and the image of a white dress (#644); and so on, building to a climax dealing with several dreams involving wind and water that will bring all of the companies on stage together.

Ironically, Diehl says he rarely remembers his own dreams, making the suite a more abstract interpretation of the theme than a direct translation of nocturnal wanderings. “My wife can wake up every morning and remember seeing a zebra in the bathroom,” he says.

“It’s a rare occasion when I remember a dream — maybe a couple times a year.

Having said that, I probably live more in a dream state than most people do.”

The concert is presented by Bowerbird and supported by the Philadelphia Jazz Project, which encouraged Diehl to widen his scope in imagining a piece.

“When I met with the Philadelphia Jazz Project,” Diehl recalls, “the discussion

was really about how to present jazz in new ways to broaden it up and bring in audiences. They pushed me to really swing for the fences.”

Though “The Dream Book” was envisioned on a much larger scale than anything he’s done in the past, Diehl says that the piece shares goals with much of his earlier work, which appealed to diverse audiences that wouldn’t otherwise have crossed paths. “With our earlier music, the Santeros would listen to it and recognize the authenticity of the Santería music, and the free jazz people would listen to it and realize the authenticity of that. But the Santeros would never otherwise listen to free jazz and vice versa.”

The band’s latest evolution is another way for Diehl to reinterpret the AfroCuban music that he’s spent his life mastering. By adding classical music accents — or more, as in an interpolation of Philip Glass’ String Quartet No. 5 that Prometheus will perform during “The Dream Book” — the composer hopes to change listeners’ minds about the music of those cultures.To that end, he’s adapting traditional Santería music for the octet to play in combination with Prometheus in order to spotlight its melodic content.

“Whenever Westerners think of AfroCuban music, their brains go automatically to the drums,” he says. “But this is beautiful music with very advanced and modern melodies, even though it’s 2,000 years old.” (editorial@citypaper.net, @ShaunDBrady) $15 // Sat., Sept. 12, 7 p.m., Venice Island Performing Arts & Recreation Center, 1 Rector St., Manayunk, bowerbird.org.

CIT YPAPER.NET // SEPT. 10 - SEPT. 16, 2015 // PHILADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

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DRAMA

MALIGN ELECTRICITY: Longtime friends Elisabeth Moss (left) and Katherine Waterston share a lakeside cabin, but the dynamic between them is anything but placid.

QUEEN OF EARTH

/B+/ Audiences introduced to Main Line-raised Alex Ross Perry by the acid literary comedy Listen Up Philip may find themselves overwhelmed by its successor, a claustrophobic chamber drama in which Elisabeth Moss pitches into mental breakdown. Although it evokes evanescent predecessors from Polanski’s Repulsion to Altman’s Images, Queen of Earth is more grounded in the mun dane micro aggressions that eat away at the fragile remnants of Moss’ mind.

Queen is entirely set in a lakeside cabin owned by Virginia (Katherine Waterston) — or rather her family, since the inheritance of privilege is very much at issue here. Catherine (Moss) is a would-be fine artist who’s lived her entire life in her painter father’s shadow, “managing his affairs” for a living instead of striking out on her own. After his death, and after she’s unceremoniously dumped by boyfriend Kentucker Audley, she spirals, beginning as a mascara-smeared mess and heading

downward from there.

Perry shifts backward and forward in time, toggling from Catherine’s current emotional black hole to her confident, apparently with-it past self, whom Virginia ironically envies for seeming to have it all. It’s a vivid, sometimes startling, reminder of how close we — or at least some of us — are to losing control at any moment, propped up by external factors rather than supported from within.

At times, Queen of Earth strains for effect, especially when it expands beyond the malign electricity of the Moss-Waterston dynamic. That everyone who comes into their orbit behaves like a minor-key monster pushes the movie from misanthropy into mere cynicism, although it does set up one of the movie’s best exchanges: “Sorry, I’m not good with faces or names.” “So you mean, like, people?” The movie won’t restore your faith in humanity, but it might make you think that, no matter how bad people are, they’re not that bad.

—Sam Adams (The Roxy)

ENROLL TODAY!

22

PHILADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER // SEPT. 10 - SEPT. 16, 2015 // CIT YPAPER.NET

BY DREW LAZOR

REPERTORY FILM

Fall semester begins September 28!

Acting Classes for ADULTS, KIDS and TEENS

Film events and special screenings.

The Theatre School at

Call Now to Register 215-574-3550 ext. 510

CLARK PARK

4398 Chester Ave., universitycity.org. Selma (2014, U.S., 128 min.): David Oyelowo looms on-screen as Martin Luther King Jr. in Ava DuVernay’s recounting of the Selmato-Montgomery march. Fri., Sept. 11, dusk, free.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE

3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org.

Filmmakers in Focus: Sylvia Schedelbauer: Berlinbased filmmaker Schedelbauer, who will be in attendance, presents six shorts, largely based around archival and found footage. Fri., Sept. 11, 7 p.m., $9. The King and the Mockingbird (1980, France, 83 min.): Based on the Hans Christian Andersen fable, Paul Grimault’s standout French animated film has influenced a number of directors. Sat., Sept. 12, 2 and 7 p.m., $9. Spirits of Rebellion: Black Cinema at UCLA (2015, U.S., 90 min.): African-American filmmakers discuss how their studies at UCLA shaped their art and the state of black film today. Director Zeinabu Irene Davis, who’s featured in the doc, will be in attendance.

Tue., Sept. 15, 7 p.m., $10. The Great Museum (2014, Austria, 94 min.): Insightful doc taking art fans behind the curtain of Vienna’s Kunsthistorisches Museum, home to one of the most distinctive collections in the world. Wed., Sept. 16, 7 p.m., $9.

PFS THEATER AT THE ROXY

2023 Sansom St., 267-639-9508, filmadelphia.org/roxy.

The Graduate (1967, U.S., 106 min.): “I think you’re the most attractive of all my parents’ friends. I mean that.” A BYOB screening ($2 fee). Wed., Sept. 16, 7:30 p.m., $10.

Register Online:

www.WalnutStreetTheatre.org

PHILAMOCA

Season 48

531 N. 12th St., 267-519-9651, philamoca.org. Dead Giveaway (2015, U.S., 32 min.): A young woman awakens to the lifeless body of her one-night stand in this Philly-shot horror comedy. The screening will be accompanied by a number of other shorts. Fri., Sept. 11, 7 p.m., $10 (includes refreshments). A Night with Greg Sestero: Sestero, best known as Mark from The Room, stops by PhilaMOCA to screen and discuss behind-the-scenes footage of the cult classic. Fri., Sept. 11, 11 p.m., $12. Wakaliwood Invades Philadelphia: Wakali, a small village in Uganda, enjoys a growing reputation for producing entertaining action films with little-to-no resources or budget. This screening of Who Killed Captain Alex? will be accompanied by various shorts and a Skype Q&A session with director Nabwana Isaac Godfrey Geoffrey. Sat., Sept. 12, 8 p.m., $10.

for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf

by Ntozake Shange \aj][l]\ Zq D]] C]ff]l` Ja[`Yj\kgf

September 16 - 24

THE ROTUNDA

Randall Theater

4014 Walnut St., therotunda.org. Andrew’s Video Vault: An as-yet-unannounced surprise program curated by Dan Buskirk of Phawker.com. Thu., Sept. 10, 8 p.m., free.

Temple University 2020 North 13th Street Philadelphia, PA 19122

SECRET CINEMA

Tickets: $20 - $25 Join us for a free event:

A Conversation with FLGR9C= K@9F?= GR K;GLL Sunday, September 20 at 4 pm Temple Performing Arts Center 1837 North Broad Street Philadelphia, PA 19122

L]ehd] L`]Yl]jk :gp G^Ú[]

STUDENT DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE

215.204.1122 tfma.temple.edu/events

I think you’re the most attractive of all my parents’ friends. I mean that.

Eastern State Penitentiary, 2027 Fairmount Ave., 215-2363300, easternstate.org, thesecretcinema.com. Outside the Wall (1950, U.S., 80 min.): Secret Cinema tracked down an ultra-rare 16 mm print of this prison drama, actually shot inside Eastern State Penitentiary and at other locations around Philly, for a special screening. Fri., Sept. 11, 8 p.m., $10.

TROCADERO THEATRE

1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc.com. Hackers (1995, U.S., 107 min.): Next time you meet an actual, real-life hacker, ask him/her what he/she thinks of this movie. Guaranteed interesting response. Presented by Geekadelphia. Mon., Sept. 14, 8 p.m., $3.

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET

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EVENTS

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET // SEP T EMBER 10 - SEP T EMBER 16, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

: SEPTEMBER 1O - SEPTEMBER 16 :

25

GET OU T T HERE

L7

Iconic feminist grunge band L7 is thankfully shoving their way back into our lives. The radical four-piece — who started playing in ’85 and heavily inspired the ’90s riot grrrl movement — reunited late last year, but this is their first Philly show since. A documentary about the band, PretendWe’re Dead, is in the works, telling the story of the fierce foursome’s influence and how they came to be known at the “queens of grunge.” —Cynthia Schemmer

thursday

9.10

CHELSEA WOLFE

$15 // Thu., Sept. 10, 8 p.m., with Wovenhand, Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St., undergroundarts.org.

ROCK/FOLK Gothic queen Chelsea Wolfe has done the near-impossible by playing folk music that garners the attention of metalheads.

Her epically distorted guitar, apocalyptic synths and powerfully elegant voice add up to a strange strain of metalinfluenced neofolk that has been aptly used in The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones. Her fifth album, Abyss, was released last month on Sargent House Records.

—Cynthia Schemmer

GLENN ZALESKI

$10 // Thu., Sept. 10, 8 p.m., Chris’ Jazz Café, 1421 Sansom St., 215-568-3131, chrisjazzcafe.com.

JAZZ Aside from My

Ideal, his solo leader debut, Glenn Zaleski’s name has appeared on at least a half-dozen other CDs this year alone. The reason for that demand is obvious throughout his trio outing with bassist Dezron

Douglas and drummer Craig Weinrib, who will also accompany him at Chris’ tonight: a captivating patience, leaving illuminating space in the music; and a keen insight, providing fresh perspectives on even well-trod standards.

—Shaun Brady

SMELL THE MAGIC: $24.50-$27 // Fri., Sept. 11, 8 p.m., with The Pretty Greens, The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc.com.

f riday

9.11 RECONDITE

$10 // Fri., Sept. 11, 9 p.m., with Sean Thomas, Dolphin Tavern, 1539 S. Broad St., 215-2787950, dolphinphilly.com.

HOUSE The word that Germany’s Lorenz Brunner chose for his production alias — one I personally will never encounter without hearing Gang Starr’s Guru discuss Thelonious Monk, though that’s another matter — means “abstruse” or “little-known.” It’s a nifty name, sure, but not especially applicable to his music. It’s decidedly straight-ahead, if particularly elegant minimal tech-house, garnished with warmly seductive bass tones (as on his recent Iffy LP — another top-notch adjective) or subtle tweaks of 303 (per

2012’s breakthrough On Acid). Nor, at least in certain circles, does it apply to the man himself, considering that scene-defining electronica website Resident Advisor named him the most popular live act of 2014.

—K. Ross Hoffman

saturday

9.12

THE ORB

$17-$22 // Sat., Sept.

12, 9 p.m., with The Beating and Mr. Bill, Ardmore Music Hall, 23 East Lancaster Ave., Ardmore, 610-649-8389, ardmoremusic.com.

ELECTRONIC For anyone who may have lost the signal sometime in the quarter-century since Dr. Alex Paterson first kinda-sorta launched the concept of

ambient house: Yes, the Orb are still orbiting; still blithely bouncing around the cosmos; still grooving along in their lush, trippy, gently whimsical fashion. And they may quite well still be doing so 688 years hence. Or such seems to be the promise of Moonbuilding 2703 AD (Kompakt) — somehow, improbably, the outfit’s first overtly moon-oriented LP — whose four typically languorous, extended bliss-outs, apart from the titular trip-hoppy funk-a-thon, mine an enjoyably fluid, slowly morphing minimal techno vein.

—K. Ross Hoffman

the best films,” Isaac Nabwana’a Ramon Film Productions is churning out dirt-cheap blockbusters in the slums of Wakaliga, Uganda. The delightful trailer for Nabwana’s commandos-vs.-drug dealers epic Who Killed Captain Alex? features endless gunfire and martial arts, eruptions of CGI blood, and blatantly digital destruction. PhilaMOCA will screen the film in its glorious entirety, followed by a Skype Q&A with the director.

—Shaun Brady

THEE OH SEES

WAKALIWOOD INVADES PHILLY

$10 // Sat., Sept. 12, 8 p.m., PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., philamoca.org.

$16 // Sat., Sept. 12, 8 p.m., with Purling Hiss, Residuels and Under the Clothesline, Underground Arts at the Wolf Building, 1200 Callowhill St., undergroundarts.org.

MOVIES With a tagline boasting “the best of

ROCK/PSYCH Mutilator Defeated at Last (Castle

Face), this year’s Oh Sees episode (they’ve reliably issued one album — or more — annually since 2006, last year’s putative “hiatus” notwithstanding) sure sounds victorious. And it is indeed a triumph: One of the band’s strongest outings yet, despite (or perhaps due to) representing a significant retreat from their typically coarse, blistering garage-psych assault. Fear not: John Dwyer and co. still bring the flamethrowing guitar-scrawl and regular bouts of gnarly, contortionist punk-scuzz — they’re just tempered here by atypical levels of moody, kraut-blues nuance and relative polish; even, on murky seven-minute centerpiece “Sticky Hulks,” some downright pretty organ playing.

—K. Ross Hoffman

continued on p. 26

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PHILADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER // SEPT. 10 - SEPT. 16, 2015 // CIT YPAPER.NET

EMMYLOU HARRIS & RODNEY CROWELL

$59-$69 // Sun., Sept. 13, 7:30 p.m., Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside, 215-572-7650, keswicktheatre.com.

COUNTRY/POP

Emmylou Harris and Rodney Crowell first harmonized 40 years ago, but waited until 2013 to record their first duet album. Old Yellow Moon felt like a cozy reunion of old friends, consisting mainly of cover tunes. Their follow-up, The Traveling Kind (Nonesuch), ups the collaboration with a half-dozen new songs.

If a couple too many are generic rave-ups, they’re always redeemed by the sound of the pair’s supple but road-worn voices. —Shaun Brady

wednesday

9.16

LANGHORNE SLIM & THE LAW

THE UNITY OF INDIAN SPICES

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Our Special Blends Are The Freshest.

All Spices Freshly Ground On Premises Come In And Taste The Difference

$16-$18 // Wed., Sept.

16, 8:30 p.m., Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-2322100, utphilly.com.

COUNTRY/FOLK/POP

Before foot-stomping, drum-kicking, hey!-yelling bands like The Lumineers existed, there was Langhorne Slim. If you’re a Phillies fan, you might even remember Langhorne, Pa., native Sean Scolnick singing “God Bless America” at a Phillies game at Citizens Bank Park in ’09.

These days, Skolnick is praised by Conan O’Brien and celebrated

by Rolling Stone. In August, Langhorne Slim and his band released their latest banjo-driven folk-pop album The Spirit Moves (Dualtone).

—Cynthia Schemmer

citypaper.net/events

Highlights from Fringe so far.

9.13

FRINGE REVIEWS

EVENTS

sunday

WE CAME, WE SAW EXIT THE KING Tina Brock’s assured production starts hilariously, with the characters strutting a red carpet like decadent celebrities in Erica Hoelscher’s cartoonishly crumbling throne room.

Robb Hutter is the titular king, presiding over a kingdom in disarray. His two wives — pragmatic Queen Marguerite (Patricia Durante) and arm candy Marie (Anna Lou Hearn) — along with royal doctor Susan Giddings and maid Jenna Kuerzi, attend to him as he faces death.Though Marguerite announces early on that he’ll die “by the end of the show,” Hutter and Durante make his final moments achingly sincere. What felt like broad farce turns spiritual and bittersweet. The label “absurdity” — which King playwright Ionesco rejected — doesn’t do justice to the hilarity and heart of this silly and sublime experience. $22-$25 // Runs through Sept. 20, Walnut Street Theatre Independence Studio on 3, 825 Walnut St. —Mark Cofta POPE UP An old yarn-dyeing factory hosts Philadelphia Sculptors’ “Pope Up,” one of the hidden gems of this year’s Fringe. Joan Menapace’s Tend Your Flock is a standout, inspired by and in collaboration with her 50-year-old transgender daughter. The crocheted miter in bright pink, white and blue and painted wood sculpture in the colors of the transgender flag are an attention grabber. Humor has a place at the altar too, as Stephanie Kirk’s Church Sign Project provides a visually impactful outlet for her fear of church signs. A wall of over 70 photographs of church signs include messages like: “God Wants Full Custody, Not A WeekendVisit” and “AndYouThink It’s Hot Here!” Go see “Pope Up” with your own eyes. Free // Runs through Sept. 19, Globe Dye Works, 4500 Worth St. —SJ Punderson THE WAITSTAFF’S VACATION This crew carries no pretensions, except to shine a comedic light on a grab bag of contemporary topics. And like a grab bag, the offerings here are hit and miss.

A bit about schlepping to the Jersey Shore despite the usual traffic jam is a spot-on spoof of the local summer ritual. A DonaldTrump skit soundly skewers the pompous presidential candidate. Other sketches, such as Hillary Clinton as Evita and a sendup of the male/female dynamic, hit meh on the funny scale. $15 // Runs through Sept. 19, L’Etage Cabaret, 624 S. Sixth St. —Deni Kasrel SPOOKFISH This great young cast — including Joe Canuso (not the Theatre Exile director!), Arlen Shane Hancock, Jenna Kuerzi, Campbell O’Hare and Zoe Richards — doesn’t play Haygen Brice Walker’s horror-flick inspired script for laughs, but takes it to a higher level. Employed at a decrepit haunted house attraction, they drink, snort and fuck to pass the time — until the bodies start piling up. If swearing, violence, drugs, sex, bloody body parts, sex with those parts and shocking personal revelations disturb you, sit this one out. I found the cleverly plotted self-destruction of this band of misfits outrageous and engrossing, with a committed genuineness that kept it from devolving into winking satire. $15 // Runs through Sept. 13, Headlong Studios, 1170 S. Broad St. —Mark Cofta Fringe Festival 2015 runs through Sept. 19. Box office: 140 N. Columbus Blvd. (at Race Street), 215-413-1318, fringearts.com. Our critics are reviewing shows every day at citypaper.net.

FOOD&DRINK

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET // SEP T EMBER 10 - SEP T EMBER 16, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

27

REVIEWS // OPENIN GS // LIST IN GS // RECIPES

FANCY FEAST: One-bite fare from last year’s Feastival.

NEAL SANTOS

Hungry Pigeon is coming. Federal Donuts always does a special flavor just for us that they’ve never done in the store. We’ve got La Colombe, we’ve got Rival Bros.

There’s a good mix of sweet and savory, and booze is always fun. We have The Olde Bar and Emmanuelle coming this year. You’re getting good quality stuff.

It’s not just like, “Here’s sour mix.”

CP: Well, it’s a pricey ticket.

RM: It is, but honestly, that’s for four hours — if you get the early admission, 6 to 10 p.m — of all the best food in the city. Nicholas Elmi asked me to get him a sneeze guard because he wants to do some really cool new plating technique. We’ve always gotten the feedback that everybody who comes, not just our guests but also our chefs and our bartenders, they all have a good time, too. We encourage the chefs to walk around, talk to people, try other people’s food, have some drinks and have a good time. A lot of people go all out for this event, which is fun because it’s 1,000 people.

FEEDING FRENZY

BY JENN LADD

FRINGER FOOD

FEASTIVAL // Thu., Sept. 17, 7-10 p.m. For tickets, visit phillyfeastival.com.

Feastival lassos more than 75 restaurants for one of the biggest Fringe benefits of the year.

AS FRINGE APPROACHES its midpoint, one of its biggest sources of financial backing, Feastival, is likewise in full gear. The restaurateur-studded food event — it’s officially hosted by Stephen Starr, Michael Solomonov and Audrey Claire Taichman — has raised more than $2 million for FringeArts’ operating costs in the past five years, according to Feastival Managing Director Resa Mueller.

City Paper interviewed Mueller at the site of this year’s Feastival, in front of FringeArts’ two-year-old headquarters in a converted pump station at the corner of Race Street and Columbus Boulevard. “We decided it makes sense to bring Feastival to the doorstep of FringeArts,” she says. “This is what the money is for. So why not let everybody see all the cool things?”

A team of about 20 workers will set up the four-hour-long festival on Sept.

17, when the event will take over the east end of Race Street. The crew will set up seven bars and 79 restaurant tables in preparation for wining and dining roughly 1,000 attendees. Tickets for the gala are steep: $300 for general admission (from 7 to 10 p.m.), $350 for early admission (6 to 10 p.m.) and $500 for VIP access. But Mueller explains why the event is worth perhaps the biggest dining splurge of your year.

City Paper: What’s cooking for this year’s Feastival?

Resa Mueller: One of the coolest things that makes our event stand out from a lot of other chef events in the city is the amount of vendors that we have participate. Literally any restaurant that you want to try is going to be here. We have some really cool people like Whetstone Tavern — they just opened up.

Nicholas Elmi asked me to get him a sneeze guard because he wants to do some really cool new plating technique.

CP: How do you eat everything in four hours?

RM: You don’t. You go to the places that are tough to get a reservation in — so definitely prioritize going to Laurel or go to restaurants that you think you want to try but are not really sure. The new spots are always good, like last year Pizzeria Vetri debuted at Feastival.

So it’s always good to get a taste of it. And then just talk to chefs, see who has a life, see who is engaging with the guests, because those guys are always fun.

And once you get to know the chef, I find that you get to have a little bit more fun when you go to their restaurants. But definitely go to the expensive places, because they really do put out restaurant-quality food in this event. And it’s really impressive what they can do in one small bite.

CP: Is that the format? Everyone has one dish?

RM: Yeah. Every now and then there are some people who do a couple different things. For example, Tria usually does a couple different bites.We have La Divisa Meats from Reading Terminal coming, and they, I think, are going to be doing a couple different charcuterie things. We have the Farm at Doe Run doing different cheeses. And then there’s Éclat Chocolates, they’re based out in the suburbs.

CP: Is the booze all-you-can?

RM: Yup. Basically we get all of our liquor product donated by Southern Wine & Spirits. This year I think we have nine brands that are being donated, and then we asked each bar and the main bar to basically choose a spirit and make a signature cocktail with that. However, in addition, they also run a fullservice bar. (jenn@citypaper.net, @jrladd)

28

SEPT. 10 - SEPT. 16, 2015 // CIT YPAPER.NET

BY ADAM ERACE

REVIEW

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THE BIG CHILL

CITYPAPER.NET/ CONTESTS

WHEN IT COMES to DanDan, everybody has the same question. Sitting on the second floor of this slick double-decker Sichuan spot wedged like a narrow paperback into a library of storefronts on 16th Street, I posed it to my chipper server: â&#x20AC;&#x153;So what is DanDanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s relation to Han Dynasty?â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;I get asked this a lot,â&#x20AC;? she laughed/lamented/screamed. In the upstairs dining room jammed with university kids and unforgiving metal surfaces, the noise level could qualify as assault, and I had to strain to hear her answer.

But hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the deal: Husband and wife Kevin and Cat Huang own DanDan. They used to operate Han Dynastyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s University City location. Cat is also Han Dynasty owner Han Chiangâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sister.

The similarities between Dan and Han are striking. On both menus youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find spicy, crispy cucumbers for $6.95, dumplings in chile oil for $6.95, dry pepper shrimp for $20.95, cumin-style lamb for $16.95. The twinning is so evident, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to evaluate DanDan as its own independent restaurant instead of simply a Rittenhouse branch of Han Dynasty.

Over the course of my meal, on the balcony overlooking floating paper lanterns and a bar, I did find some differences. From the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Specialties of the Houseâ&#x20AC;? section of the menu, the spicy and sour rib-eye pot, while neither very spicy nor very sour, was definitely not something Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d had before. It turned out to be a big bowl of glass noodles, pickled mustard greens and enoki mushrooms in a canary-colored broth crowned with dried chilies, cilantro and thinly sliced rib eye. The tenderness of the frilly shaved beef brought to mind cheesesteak meat, not in a bad way; I mostly just picked that off the surface.

But the central difference between DanDan and Han Dynasty is the absence of heat. Danâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spicy, crispy cucumbers should have been colder in temperature and hotter in spice, while the pleasantly chewy dumplings barely made me break a sweat. The restaurantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s namesake dan dan noodles were so tame, I thought Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d ordered the cold sesame noodles by mistake.

On the menuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s burn index of 1 to 5, both the rib-eye pot and the cauldron of green peppercorn hot sauce-style pork I tried are listed as 4s. They were 1s.

I set down my chopsticks with a lot of food still left on the table. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Was the spice level OK, too hot?â&#x20AC;? the server asked as she cleared, then made a funny admission: â&#x20AC;&#x153;I really donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t eat spicy food.â&#x20AC;? Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s working at the right restaurant.

(aerace.citypaper@gmail.com, @AdamErace)

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET

BY MATT JONES

BY RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL

LET’S GET IT ON

JONESIN ’ ‘ BAR HOPPING ’ going from bar to bar.

ACROSS

1 5 10 14 15 16 17 19 20

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21 23 25 26 29 30 33 35 37 38 40 42 43 45 46 48 50 51 52 54 57 61 62

Call it quits Sobs loudly Some barn dwellers Jai ___ (fast court game) Out of season, maybe “Ain’t happenin’!”

How to enter an Olympic-sized pool of Cap’n Crunch?

“Please, Mom?” “Naughty, naughty!” noise First substitute on a basketball bench Public Enemy #1?

That boy there Art follower?

Safe dessert?

Slangy goodbyes Biceps builders Greek sandwiches “Ode ___ Nightingale” Zagreb’s country Letter recipients Altar agreement New York and Los Angeles, e.g.

Grimy deposits GQ units Abbr. in a help-wanted ad After-school production, maybe Calif. time zone Post outpost?

Like ignored advice, at first?

Chilean Literature Nobelist Margaret Mitchell mansion Milky Way and Mars, for instance?

64 Home theater component, maybe 65 Guy’s part 66 American Dad! dad 67 “That’s ___ for you to say!”

68 Sign of some March births 69 Edamame beans

DOWN

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

10 11 12 13 18 22 24 26 27 28 30 31 32 34

True statement Arena cheers Carefree diversion Fountain drink option Pack on the muscle “... ___ a bag of chips” Irish coffee ingredient Beside oneself X-ray ___ (back-ofcomic-book glasses) “That looks like it stings!”

Mallet to use on the Press Your Luck villain?

The moon, to poets Knee-to-ankle area Pokemon protagonist College composition “Exploding” gag gift M minus CCXCIV ...

OK, I’m not that mean, it equals 706 Italian bread?

Sister channel to the Baltimore Ravens Network?

Groundskeeper’s buy Heart’s main line Full of spunk Neighbor of Tampa, Fla.

36 Watch again 39 Google : Android :: Apple : ___ 41 Higher-ups 44 Resident of Iran’s capital 47 SEAL’s branch 49 Club proprietors 52 Become narrower 53 Common Market abbr.

54 “Am ___ only one?”

55 Zilch 56 It is, in Ixtapa 58 Golden Rule preposition 59 Saving Private Ryan event 60 Author Rand and anyone whose parents were brave enough to name their kids after that author, for two 63 “Take This Job and Shove It” composer David Allan ___

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION

Rachel Kramer Bussel is the author of the essay collection Sex & Cupcakes and editor of over 50 erotica anthologies, most recently Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica.

©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

I kind of like the idea that fellow hotel guests might know it was me slamming the bed into the wall.

WHY I LOVE HOTEL SEX FOR ME, THERE’S just something about being in a hotel with a lover that makes sex hotter. Sometimes, it’s situational — with some people, the only time we hooked up was in hotels, so, of course, our encounters took on an added risqué factor.

But even now that I live with my partner, I still can’t get enough of hotel sex. While I certainly appreciate the perks of a luxury hotel, for me it’s less about the number of stars the hotel has than that I’m in a blank space; in private, yet surrounded by people who very likely are getting busy, too.

One of the biggest problems I have with sex is, believe it or not, letting myself simply enjoy the moment. I’m the type of ADD person who has a constant “to do” list running through my mind, so turning that off and putting 100 percent of my focus on being naked with my guy can be a challenge — especially at home. It’s something that I’m working on, but it’s a slow process.

When I’m in a hotel, though, as I was last weekend, I can more easily get, and stay, in the mood. I know I’m there for a limited time, and I don’t have the same reminders that I should be, say, cleaning my room. I don’t have an agenda — or at least, not a stressful one.

Because of that, I can almost be someone else — not that I’m explicitly role-playing, but I feel more comfortable actively shedding all the worries I tend to cart around, even into bed. Maybe it’s because I’m paying for the privilege of using the room. Maybe it’s because when I turn down the covers, they’re crisp, clean and perfect. Whatever the reason, hotel rooms allow me to mentally escape “real life” and be the sexiest version of myself.

During my recent staycation, my boyfriend and I promptly got into bed and wound up doing it for longer than we usually do. “I need a break,” he said. I was fine with pausing, but usually at home, when we take a “break,” we never quite get back to it.

This time was different. Round two was even more vigorous, intense and exciting than round one. When we were done, we both were a little in awe of what had just happened. Can I prove it was the hotel room — a nice enough but pretty bland one — that did it? No. But I do believe that simply being in that room gave us more motivation to keep going.

Another secret of hotel sex — it doesn’t have to be fancy.

Yes, I appreciate that, say, Philly’s Hotel Monaco has an option with “romantic rose petal turndown service” and “an aphrodisiac amenity,” as well as a “Gaycation” option.

But for me, simply being in a hotel room with a lover is what makes it hot. At home, I worry that if I’m too loud, my condo neighbors will hear me. At a hotel, who cares?

In fact, I kind of like the idea that fellow hotel guests might know it was me slamming the bed into the wall. Even when hotel sex leads to embarrassing moments, like the time we left a flogger in a room and I had to sheepishly go back and ask if any items had been found (yes, I retrieved it), it’s worth it.

Hotel sex is also a rare, few-times-a-year treat, which keeps it special. If we did it all the time, I’m sure it would lose some of its luster. Thankfully, we’re a long way from that.

(rachelcitypaper@gmail.com)

@RAQUELITA

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