Philadelphia City Paper, August 4th, 2011 by Philadelphia City Paper

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cpstaff We made this

Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Isaiah Thompson Associate Editor and Web Editor Drew Lazor Arts & Movies Editor/Copy Chief Carolyn Huckabay Associate Editor Josh Middleton Staff Writers Holly Otterbein, Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Mark Cofta, Felicia Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Cindy Fuchs, K. Ross Hoffman, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Gair Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Robin Rice, Lee Stabert, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West Editorial Interns Darren Ankrom, Emily Apisa, Megan Augustin, Diana Campeggio, Matt Cantor, Ryan Carey, Peter Chawaga, Clare Foran, Joshua Goldman, Khoury Johnson, Jessica Leung, Esther Martin, Martin Martinez, Grace Ortelere, Cassie Owens, Andy Polhamus, Nicole Rossi, Eric Schuman, Christopher Seybert, Anjali Tsui, Brian Wilensky, Dylan Williams Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Editorial Designer Alyssa Grenning Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Designer Alicia Solsman Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Jonathan Bartlett, Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Accounts Receivable Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Advertising Director Eileen Pursley (ext. 257) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Kevin Gallagher (ext. 250), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Business Development Manager Nicholas Forte (ext. 237) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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citypaper.net 123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Letters to the Editor editorial@citypaper.net, Listings Fax 215-8751800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright ÂŠ 2011, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

contents Absolutely religulous

Naked City ...................................................................................6 This Modern World..............................................................10 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................18 The Agenda ..............................................................................27 Food & Drink ...........................................................................34 DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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naked

the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ - 4]

A state audit finds that it cost the Liquor Control Board $500,000 when it ordered too much booze and had to pay security guards to watch it. To be fair, how were they supposed to know the Flyers would trade Richards and Carter?

[0 ]

With the city’s “failure to appear in court” rate at 30 percent, the State Supreme Court says it will begin locking up noshow defendants. But this’ll only work if you guys promise to report to jail when you’re supposed to.

[ -4 ]

A naked South Philly man is arrested for hoarding a number of animals, alive and dead, including turtles, cats, dogs, iguanas and an alligator. “Sorry I’m naked,” he said. “I was wearing a couple sloths, but they kinda died and fell off.”

[ +1 ]

The son of the South Philly animal hoarder attacks a Fox 29 reporter live on the air. So there’s your silver lining.

[ +2 ]

The Friends of the Wissahickon experiment with using Angora goats to fight weeds in Northwest Philly. Now, is there anything that eats goat poop?

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[ +1 ]

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[ -6 ]

[ - 1]

The Daily News awards a $50 smartcard to the reader with the biggest Parking Authority nightmare story. Posthumously. The Fire Department’s response times have spiked in the past year, but officials insist it’s not because of budget cuts and “brownouts.” You might think we’d make a poop joke here, but there’s nothing funny about reductions in funds and resources for our city’s firefighters. Developer Bart Blatstein will purchase the Inquirer and Daily News’ iconic “ivory tower” building on Broad Street. OK, so, it’s the year 2013. You just parked your ultra-Segway and are walking to Piazza at Knight Ridder Curvilinear Strip Mall. You push past some hobos warming their fingerless gloves over a burning honor box, and one turns and yells, “Watch it, buddy.” And you look into his weary, sunken eyes. My God, it’s Stu Bykofsky. “Stu,” you say. “Don’t you have somewhere you can go?” Stu coughs a little, spits, and whispers, “This was the only home I ever knew.”

This week’s total: -11 | Last week’s total: 7

ON CALL: A crisis counselor at Women Against Abuse, which has had to reduce its services. NEAL SANTOS

[ capacity ]

TREND OF DISBELIEF The number of abused women seeking shelter in Philly is skyrocketing. The number of beds for them isn’t. By Holly Otterbein

year and a half ago, Jeannine Lisitski thought her battered women’s shelter had suffered through its worst year ever. It was the end of 2009, and Lisitski — executive director of Women Against Abuse, Philadelphia’s only overnight shelter for victims of domestic violence, mostly women and children — was reviewing bleak end-of-year statistics. In that year, she found, Women Against Abuse had been forced to turn away 4,671 domestic violence victims, simply because there wasn’t enough room — compared to 2008, when the shelter was forced to turn away 1,705 victims. City Paper reported on the troubling increase at the time. But, more than a year later, things are even worse. In 2010, CP has found, Women Against Abuse couldn’t provide emergency shelter to 7,474 victims who needed it. By June of this year, it had turned away 3,115 people — an 8 percent increase, year-to-date from 2010. “To our horror, the numbers are continuing to spiral upward,” says Lisitski. The outlook wasn’t always so grim. In 2007, the domestic violence shelter doubled its beds, from 50 to 100. At the time, there were plans to acquire an additional 150 beds, which, says Lisitski, would have put Philadelphia’s capacity in line with other cities its size. But then the great recession hit in 2008, and in the face of huge bud-

get cuts, that reasonable plan suddenly looked more like a pipe dream. In 2008, the city cut $296,268 from its annual allocation to Women Against Abuse — or 11 percent of its shelter’s entire budget — an amount that was never reinstated. (Women Against Abuse receives about 85 percent of its funding from government sources.) Five years prior, the state cut all funds for domestic violence services in Pennsylvania by 4.7 percent, an amount that was also never restored. This year, the state cut even more funds with consequences for Women Against Abuse: The Homeless Assistance Program was slashed by 10 percent, and the Human Services Development Fund was reduced by 36 percent. As a result, the city was forced to pick up the slack, absorbing those cuts and spreading them throughout various departments, instead of passing them onto the shelter. “But we’re struggling to do that,” says Dainette Mintz, director of the city’s Office of Supportive Housing. “It’s devastating. We don’t know what the future of the program is.” Women Against Abuse didn’t reduce its number of beds, but did reduce staff and services, and was unable to expand as planned. Meanwhile, amid the budget cuts, more domestic violence victims than ever have been asking for shelter at Women Against Abuse — and that, too, may be an indirect result of the bad economy. A study funded by the U.S. Department of Justice found that domestic violence occurs three times as often in families under serious financial strain, and a National Resource Center on Domestic

“The reality,” he says, “is the reality.”

>>> continued on page 8

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[ a million stories ]

� OUT OF GAS One week after Pennsylvania Intergovernmental Cooperation Authority chairman Sam Katz suggested privatizing Philadelphia Gas Works to shore up the city’s underfunded pensions, City Paper has discovered that Mayor Michael Nutter has been quietly exploring doing just that. On July 8, 2010, the city announced it had commissioned financial advisers Lazard Ltd. to assess the feasibility of selling or leasing PGW, appropriating $200,000 of ratepayer funds and an additional $900,000 for a possible phase two study. Nutter was unwilling to discuss the plans. According to a terse email from spokesperson Katherine Martin, “The city is constantly reviewing its assets, and this study is another example of the city’s diligence and deliberativeness.” The report was expected by Oct. 15, 2010, but now it’s not known when it will be completed. Proposals to privatize PGW surface regularly. It was Public Financial Management, a firm Katz founded, that in 1999 reported that the city could make between $128 million and $528 million from a sale — but only if rates were not reduced, “significant” layoffs were put into effect, and social programs that provide subsidized gas to the poor and elderly were “essentially eliminated.” “The consequences of eliminating those programs would be tremendous social costs,” says Philip Bertocci, a Community Legal Services attorney and public advocate for PGW ratepayers. There’s not much fat left to cut, since PGW already trimmed personnel by nearly 40 percent since 1988 and boosted the collections rate to more than 98 percent. PGW is still loaded down with $1.217

billion in long-term debt, though at least they’re now not paying

off all that debt with new debt.

—Daniel Denvir

� WASTE NOT? A few months ago, we reported on the neglected railroad that runs along Lehigh Avenue and then into North Philly, and which has become a drug-ridden, trash-strewn wasteland and the scourge of those forced to live between it and the open-air drug markets of Kensington [Cover Story, “The Waste Land,” Isaiah Thompson and Anthony Campisi, March 10, 2011]. Access was made particularly easy by the absence of fencing at many places along the tracks, which are owned by Conrail. City agencies, meanwhile, seemed flummoxed by the situation. We’re pleased to report that there’s been some movement. The city’s Managing Director’s Office has taken up the charge, affirms Deputy Managing Director Bridget Collins-Greenwald. She has helped coordinate cleanup efforts with Conrail and community groups that have included clearing brush that obscured the goings-on and the removal of hundreds of tons of garbage and untold number of needles. Visit our blog, citypaper.net/ nakedcity, for photos of the efforts. —Isaiah Thompson

� CORRECTION In last week’s profile of state Rep. Daryl Metcalfe [Cover Story, “Right Makes Might,” Daniel Denvir, July 28, 2011], we stated that the American Legislative Exchange Council reimbursed Metcalfe for a 2007 meeting for which he was also paid state per diems. The payments were for two separate meetings. We regret the error.

Sleep/Employment Guide DAVID MOEBIUS/ DERTYDAVESKE

By Isaiah Thompson

ON RETREAT ³ MAN OVERBOARD! is back, dear readers, from a much-needed stay in Wonalancet, N.H. — a bend in the road in the magnificent White Mountains National Forest and whose wooded paths and high mountain cliffs are lodged as far back in my memories as my memories go. It is, to borrow a friend’s phrase, my Happy Place. But even over its silent peaks came the raucous news of the world this week. Last Friday, Anders Behring Breivik, a white Norwegian, bombed and massacred 77 people, mostly young political idealists on retreat, as part of his crusade against Islam and multiculturalism. In Washington, the U.S. looked decidedly thirdworld as Congress stalled over the budget when Tea Party Republicans insisted on, and eventually won, cuts that take government programs, in the middle of a recession, back to levels of the boom years of decades gone by. And here in Philly, another mob of mostly black youth raided Center City, again attacking innocent people. It was tempting, from my mountain perch, to climb ever higher from the chaos below — and so, too, does everyone else seem to want to retreat from these challenges to their own Happy Places of nonresponsibility. Although Breivik’s actions were based in popular anti-Islamic and anti-immigrant sentiment sweeping Europe and, indeed, the U.S.A., conservatives cheerfully waved aside any connections between such ideology and the tragedy, as if it weren’t patently, absurdly ignorant (at best) to pretend that ideology and action live separate lives. When it came to the federal budget battle, there can be no more fitting display of mass denial than the depressingly viral appeal of one man’s bold third-grade-esque Twitter tag, “#Fuckyouwashington” — as if We the People, apparently unable to dream up a vision for America grander than paying less taxes, hadn’t ordered just such vapid politics last November. It seems to me that Philly is poised to offer the same kind of couch-potato philosophy to the flashmob mayhem trickling into Center City from the great flood of problems dammed up in the neighborhoods surrounding it. Better policing is needed, but it’s a cheap and easy lie we tell ourselves that we can outsource this problem to the cops. Xenophobes, bad politics, violent kids: Who doesn’t want dub each Somebody Else’s Problem and head for the hills? But these are monsters of our own creation and they’ll follow us, right to our own Happy Places, until there aren’t any of those left. � Isaiah Thompson cheerfully waves aside any connec-

tions. Write to him at isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net.

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“Sure.” “Sex while you are standing up?” “No.” “Why not?” “Because it may turn into a dance.” Sergeev’s jokes are not meant to belittle, or mock, or insult. In the introduction to his collection of religious jokes, And God Created Laughter: Religious Jokes and Anekdotes, Sergeev cites the Talmud: “A person can be judged by how readily he laughs with others.”

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THE COLLECTION, PRINTED by a Czech publisher in Russian in 2005, has Book of Genesis jokes (“Why didn’t Noah kill those two mosquitoes?”), Russian jokes (“Adam and Eve were the first Soviet couple. Only a Soviet couple could live without clothes, have only one apple for a meal and still believe they are in paradise”), and Jewish jokes (“A rabbi in a supermarket asks, ‘How much is this fish?’ The salesperson says, ‘That’s not fish, it’s pork.” The rabbi replies, ‘So who is asking you?’”). In those Jewish jokes, Sergeev hears infinite wisdom: “The wisdom of a people

“THIS IS ONE of my best Jewish jokes,” says Mikhail Sergeev, an adjunct professor of religion, philosophy and modern art at Philadelphia’s University of the Arts. “I don’t tell it to my students.” A native of Moscow, Sergeev started col-

lecting jokes when he began teaching at UArts 10 years ago. He likes to pepper his lectures with punch lines to better connect with his American students. Here’s how it goes: A young bride-tobe meets with her rabbi, who explains to her that the Jewish faith has many rules that apply to married people. One of them is that man and woman must not dance together. The young woman nods and says she understands. “What about sex?” she asks. “Sure,” the rabbi responds. “All kinds of sex?” “Sure.” “Sex while you are lying down?” “Sure.” “Sex while you are sitting?”

“A PERSON CAN BE JUDGED BY HOW READILY HE LAUGHS WITH OTHERS.” who went through a thousand years of persecution, under all possible regimes, and know how to survive,” he says. “You can feel it in all the jokes.” Like this one: Four rabbis are walking together. The first three are arguing against the fourth on a biblical matter. The fourth lifts his hands to the sky and says, “God, send a sign to show that I am right!” Immediately, the sun is obscured by clouds and lightning lights up the sky. “See? I’m right!” “Bah,” say the other three. “A coincidence.” The fourth raises his arms and asks God again, and a lightning bolt strikes a nearby tree. “So what?” say the three rabbis. “Lightning happens in storms.” Then the clouds part and an ethereal voice booms down, “He’s right!” The three rabbis look at each other and agree that they had, indeed, just witnessed

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LAUGHING MATTER: Professor Mikhail Sergeev couldn’t find any religious joke books to use as fodder for his classes, so he wrote one himself. PHOTO BY JESSICA KOURKOUNIS

Segeev’s mother grew up Jewish, and his father, Russian Orthodox, “with a sharp sense of humor.” “My uncle told a political joke during Stalin’s time,” said Sergeev. “A friend reported it, and he got 10 years in prison. When he came back he told another joke to another friend, and he got another 10 years. He spent 20 years in prison for telling two jokes. He never stopped telling jokes. He told jokes until the day he died.”

ATA TIME when radical Islamist jihad is evoked over a cartoon, when a Norwegian Christian fundamentalist kills 77 people in the name of religious purity, making fun of religion may seem suicidal. Now, more than ever, Sergeev believes religious jokes are critical. “The person who cannot laugh at himself is socially dangerous,” says Sergeev. “The illusion of grandeur — if you have this and apply it to religion, that becomes very dangerous. You start to use God for the purpose of aggrandizing yourself. The purpose of religious jokes is to minimize you and your ego.” Joking, in this sense, is a highly personal

SERGEEV IS NO SAINT. His collection includes potentially offensive jokes, with sexist and degrading punch lines. “I didn’t want my book to be dry, so I included some politically incorrect jokes.” But one religion is notably absent from Sergeev’s comic prodding: The English manuscript does not include any jokes about Muslims. The reason, says the professor, is that right now the global climate regarding Islam is just too hot to play with. Even without Islamic humor, the book is not without risk. Sergeev says that after nearly a century of enforced atheism under a Communist government, the Russian people have begun to embrace religion again. “When people come from

“THE PURPOSE OF RELIGIOUS JOKES IS TO MINIMIZE YOU AND YOUR EGO.” atheism back to religion, they become neophytes,” he says. “Religion is everything to them. They may see religious jokes as anti-religion. I have a sense of uneasiness, but so far no problems. We’ll see. Hopefully not.” And then Sergeev lets loose one of his bleak yet blissful belly laughs. Finally, a joke proving the existence of God: “They say that one minute of laughter extends life by five minutes. Now it becomes clear why, after creating life on Earth, God lives forever.” Thank you. You’ve been a wonderful audience. (editorial@citypaper.net)

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a miracle. “It’s still three against two.” Instead of smug jokes that mine stereotypes, Sergeev is interested in jokes that implicate the joker. He prefers self-sacrificial material. “When I was starting to teach, art students regarded me as [an] authority in religion,” says Sergeev. “I needed something to be an icebreaker, to get them involved and show them I’m not an authority.” He looked around for anthologies and compendiums of religious jokes, and found none. So he created one. And God Created Laughter is composed of whoppers culled from friends, relatives, newspapers, books and websites — mostly Russian websites. The Russian version of the book has more jokes than his English manuscript (which has yet to be published), and less explanation. Many jokes hinge on quirks in the native language, as well as a 20th-century history of gulags, communists and perestroika, which don’t find purchase on the American funny bone. “Many Russian jokes are too dark, and not humorous at all to my American friends.” Here’s one of Sergeev’s favorite Russian jokes: A pessimist, an optimist and a realist walk into a tunnel. The pessimist sees only the darkness. The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees that the light is really a train, which is about the run them all down. “If you are ready to laugh at this joke, you are ready to laugh at Russia,” said Sergeev, chuckling.

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matter. “The purpose of a spiritual exercise is to make yourself smaller,” says Sergeev. “My ideal of a saint is a saint who is full of laughter.” The underlying subject of his collection is a send-up of human shortcomings. Across ethnic, national and ideological boundaries, everybody has one thing in common: We screw up. “People laugh at the same thing. Human imperfection — not religion,” said Sergeev. “The difficulty in translating is social context. But on a deeper level, people’s understanding of the world — it’s pretty much the same.” An example: One well-known city businessman once met the local priest and told him, “You probably noticed, Holy Father, that I don’t visit the church.” “Yes, I noticed and I regret this,” answered the priest. “I don’t go to the church because there are many hypocrites there.” The priest replied, “We can always find a place for one more.”

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hen you take a Continuing Education (CE) class at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts (PAFA) you become part of a two-century-old tradition of teaching excellence in the fine arts. Whether you’re venturing into art for the first time, returning after a long absence, or preparing a portfolio, PAFA is the place for you this fall. PAFA CE offers drawing, painting, sculpture, and printmaking classes and for all ages and levels of ability. Workshops are scheduled every weekend on a variety of topics. Highlights include master classes with Juliette Aristides, artist and author of the Classical Drawing Handbook, published by Watson-Guptill, and renowned painters Stuart Shils and Bill Scott; drawing and painting classes at Historic Yellow Springs – Chester Springs Studio, located in beautiful Chester County; Saturday classes for high school students; and art appreciation in the PAFA Museum. PAFA CE is an authorized provider of Act 48 hours and professional development credit for PA and NJ educators. For more information: www.pafa.edu/CE, continuinged@pafa.edu or 215-972-7632. ‹PHILADELPHIA FOLK FESTIVAL & PHILADELPHIA FOLKSONG SOCIETY

hiladelphia Folksong Society (PFS) is a not-for-profit educational organization that provides programs dedicated to preserving the past, promoting the present, and securing the future of folk music and related forms of expression through education, presentation, and participation. While we are best known for the Philadelphia Folk Festival, which this year celebrates its 50th anniversary, some of our lesser known programs are the most significant to the people they serve. Since 1974, our Odyssey Program has been sending professional folk musicians to Delaware Valley public, private, and parochial schools to enhance the teaching of our culture and history through music. Artists work with teachers to present programs that deepen and complement classroom studies. Musicians present age-appropriate songs written during various periods of American history. The Odyssey Program integrates sight and sound, helping students enhance their appreciation of music while learning about American historic and cultural events. Students learn to understand how songwriters ° CONTINUED ON ADJACENT PAGE

Open House: August 23 @ 8:45 am Please call (610) 667-1284 to reserve a space

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and traditional singers incorporated the stories of real people and events into songs that have been passed on through the generations. With a solid commitment to preserving artistic expression through programs that encourage participation in traditional folk music and educate the public of its history, PFS is among the vanguard of emerging trendsetters and innovators within folk music. â&#x20AC;šFRENCH INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL: EDUCATION WITH A WORLD VIEW

he French International School, located in Bala Cynwyd, offers a strong academic curriculum in French and English, preschool through eighth grade. Now in its 20th year, it attracts equal numbers of French, American, and international families. The 319 enrolled students represent 50 nationalities. Graduates attend top public and private high schools in the Philadelphia area and their equivalents abroad. To attend the August 23 information session, please call 610-667-1284.

New students with no prior knowledge of French are admitted at the age of 3, 4 or 5. â&#x20AC;˘ Diverse school community and global focus â&#x20AC;˘ Developmental preschool â&#x20AC;˘ Before and after school care and extracurricular activities â&#x20AC;˘ US and French accreditations 150 North Highland Avenue, Bala Cynwyd, PA 19004 info@efiponline.com â&#x20AC;˘ www.efiponline.com

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ducation Voters PA works to ensure that every child in Pennsylvania receives a quality education. We inform the public on education issues and provide them with opportunities to get involved in the policy process with presentations and trainings for groups large and small. Through our legislative outreach, political work and voter contact programs we strive to engage policymakers and hold them accountable for what they do (or donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do) for our public schools. Visit educationvoterspa.org TODAY to find out more!

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earn how to interpret art and see like an artist through the Barnes Foundationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Art & Aesthetics program. The program emphasizes focused observation as a means of developing visual awareness, with our world-renowned collection as a starting point. Fall and spring semester courses will be held at locations in Philadelphia and Merion. For 2011-12, the Barnes is offering a special, one-time tuition discount for art courses. The Barnes Foundation also offers horticulture courses, covering botanical sciences, horticulture practices, garden aesthetics, and landscape design. A faculty of 18 experienced instructors covers a wide range of specialties. This three year comprehensive program develops skilled practitioners through classroom lectures, self-guided learning, and hands-on practice. Students receive a certificate of achievement upon satisfactory completion of the program. Courses begin in September 2011. For more information or to register, please visit www.barnesfoundation.org or call 610-667-0290, x 4.

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ THE LAST WE saw Honus Honus (Ryan

Kattner) and Chris “Pow Pow” Powell, we barely saw them. Long story short, the Philly-based mustachioed Man Man were playing the side-stage lounge area at The Roots Picnic in June. No sooner had they revved their engines, than The Roots appeared on the main stage with Nas and blasted off. “It was ultimately OK but a bummer to play against The Roots at their own picnic,” says Powell. Honus jokes, “It’s not every day we get to participate in a barely audible live mash-up with Nas and The Roots. It was a real ‘character-building’ moment. Surreal.” Doubly surreal is Man Man’s new Life Fantastic and its uninterruptable first Philly airing Aug. 5 at the Troc with what promises to hold plenty of surprises. Like what? “I’ve heard West Philly Orchestra has a lot of horns. Have I said too much?” asks Honus. We’ll have more on Pow Pow and Honus at CritMass. ³ Rich Landau and Kate Jacoby are moving quickly from the recent closing of Horizon (off South) toward Vedge: a vegetable restaurant at the 12th-and-Locust space that formerly housed Deux Cheminees. Not only is Vedge heading toward a vegetable-focused (less faux-meat) product. They’re working swiftly to open (end of August/early September), will supposedly host an à la carte-heavy mix-n-match, and will hire chefs from Govinda’s and Blackbird Pizzeria. ³ Also coming up is Audrey Claire Taichman’s COOK at 20th and Rittenhouse with an Aug. 15 target opening and a planned Aug. 23 event with ?uestlove’s Food Ventures; Taichman’s also busy with her Live Arts fiesta Feastival (Sept. 14, Pier 9) and its pre-bash Aug. 8 at Percy Street BBQ. ³ We didn’t love the ’90s but we dug Ointment, that era’s crusty power-pop giants from Media. Before drummer Hoagy Wing does Gypsophilia (Aug. 20, Tiberino Museum), he’ll join with Ointment singer Bruce Scott for a first-time-in-10-years reunion gig (Aug. 10, Troc Balcony) co-starring American Babies and If’n. ³ Remember four years ago when Fringe/Live Arts’ Nick Stuccio changed the post-shows late-night program from burlesque and performance art to a bar with DJs? That’s probably why there seems to be some contention as to whether there is contention between the official 2011 Festival Bar’s recently implemented plan of cabaret and live acts at RUBA Club (booked by Brat Productions) and the renegade/unaffiliated Late Nite Cabaret 2011 producers (Mike Cataldi, Scott Johnson), who used to manage and book the Fest Bar’s live acts. All of which isn’t so sordid when you consider that Brat’s Madi Distefano and Jess Conda will host Late Nite Cabarets. ³ Check out Ice Cubes on this and so much more at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

Philadelphia Landscape, Philip Cohn, oil painting, part of the exhibit “Environmental Perspectives: A Landscape Show” at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts.

firstfridayfocus By Holly Otterbein

³ GRAVY STUDIO JP Bevins was hard up for cash, so he got a job — but not just any job. For seven months, he worked on a traveling carnival. He steered enormous trucks around the country, set up rides at town fairs, and even lived inside a trailer that “divided into five, six little rooms, with a shower on each side.” It was worth it, if only for a single photograph he shot while on the clock — Untitled, which captures a decades-long carnival worker named Eddie. He’s wiry, wears a gold chain necklace, and has the word “High” tattooed on his knuckles. It looks like a gritty Zoe Strauss shot, if only she had grown up in a small town instead of South Philly. Many of Bevins’ photographs in “20 Grand” are like this: character-driven, a little melancholy, “real.” Bevins, who hails from rural Connecticut but now lives in Philadelphia, says his style is the result of an underprivileged childhood. “The aesthetic you gain from growing up poor, it’s different,” he explains. “You notice things that other people don’t notice. The physical places you end up and type of people who you’re around are just different.” Opening reception Fri., Aug. 5, 6:30-10 p.m., free, ends Aug. 31, 2212 Sepviva St., gravystudio.blogspot.com.

³ LITTLE BERLIN Online relationships may have gotten their start in ’90s chat rooms with young lovers like stonerboy1985 and vegangrrrl,

but that’s not where they ended. Today, web-based partnerships are everywhere — in romance, work and even art. Little Berlin explores the history and peculiarity of three online artist groups in the show “Distributed Collectives,” with pieces by Computers Club, Manifest.AR and F.A.T. These artists, some of whom have never met in the flesh despite collaborating for years, have created everything from installations to rap music to “augmented reality public art” to a very funny list of Google’s official bad words. Opening reception Fri., Aug. 5, 6-10 p.m., free, ends Aug. 27, 2430 Coral St., littleberlin.org.

³ PENNSYLVANIA ACADEMY OF THE FINE ARTS Looking at John Pacer’s oil painting Falling Sky, in which a man floats sideways in the sparkling blue sky, is like taking a nap under the warm sun. It feels almost too serene. Other pieces in the PAFA alumni exhibit “Environmental

Like napping under the warm sun.

Perspectives: A Landscape

Show” are just as pretty. Take Philip Cohn’s Philadelphia Landscape (pictured), an Impressionist-like oil painting of the Fairmount Water Works, or Redon Dreams, a mixed-media piece by Andrea Packard that suggests, just barely, a landscape. It’s a wonder these artists are all graduates of a school in Philly, and not some idyllic countryside. Opening reception Fri., Aug. 5, 5:30-7:30 p.m., free, ends Oct. 23, Alumni Sales Gallery, 118 N. Broad St., 215-391-4184, pafa.org. (holly.otterbein@citypaper.net)

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[ the whiskey is talking ] ³ rock/pop

Detroit retro-soul MVP Mayer Hawthorne has been a busy man lately, popping up on tracks by Cool Kids, SebastiAn and Dennis Coffey. He’s also found time to cut a digital covers EP, Impressions (free at stonesthrow.com), offering his impeccable takes on awesome soul obscurities plus tunes from such less likely sources as Chromeo, Jon Brion and Electric Light Orchestra. Still, with album No. 2 on the horizon, Hawthorne better not start resting yet.

Of the increasingly many industry-dispossessed critic-darling songsmiths to go the self-released/fan-financed route, smartpop lifer Sam Phillips must be among the more ambitious. Solid State: Songs from the Long Play is merely a compact, physical distillation of a long-running subscription-based online project that yielded, in full, 43 new tunes. The ones compiled here should amply satisfy more casual fans that her rich, Beatles-indebted songcraft and wryly bittersweet vocals remain as singular and effective as ever. —K. Ross Hoffman

³ hip-hop Brooklyn DJ/rapper Theophilus London has been teasing us for quite some time. An EP here, a collaboration there, slowly building himself up. London’s debut album, Timez Are Weird These Days (Reprise), delivers on all that promise in abundance. London’s rhymes are smart and sassy, his hooks are catchy and he gets a lot of cool people to lend a hand. Sara Quin (of Tegan &) and Holly Miranda both make vocal appearances, and members of TV on the Radio help with production. Good timez. —Eric Schuman

flickpick

M.J. Fine does it again

—K. Ross Hoffman

³ honkytonk Wailing electric guitar, weeping steel and fiddle, drums suggesting the scrape of boots on the hard wood, tinkling piano and tight, tear-stained harmonies — that’s the sound of honkytonk. The Sweetback Sisters have perfected it on the new Looking for a Fight (Signature Sounds). The whiskey is talking, issuing an invitation to a drunken cat fight in the title track. Patience worn thin? Start that custom playlist with “Run Home and Cry.” Another broad hint from the barkeep, “Too Many Experts,” is hilarious in its sober look at drunken antics. The Sweetbacks play World Café Live on Friday —Mary Armstrong (Aug. 5, worldcafelive.com).

[ movie review ]

TERRI [ B+ ] AS TERRI (Jacob Wysocki), a pasty, blobby teenager who favors pajamas

Terri at least knows who he’s not.

ovic. Anyone with such a dedicated fanbase can count on a new release charting higher than ever, at least in the first week. And in fact Alpocalypse (Volcano), his 13th studio album and first since 2006, debuted last month at No. 9 — just behind Lady Gaga — and then fell to No. 44. But the nature of the Internet means that by the time Yankovic’s CD hit the streets, five of its 12 songs had been available online for going on two years. And some of the targets of his parodies — The White Stripes, Hanson, Jim Steinman for cripes’ sake — aren’t as timely as they might have seemed when he started recording. Good for him for going Gaga with “Perform this Way,” but Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the U.S.A.” (recast as “Party in the CIA”) and Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me” (“TMZ”) were bland blockbusters in 2009 and haven’t been given enough of a boost in character to merit the wait. The best thing is the obligatory polka medley — “Polka Face,” naturally — which jams in Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Lady Antebellum and Taio Cruz, among others. But overall, Yankovic’s a little like the subject of his B.o.B. homage, “Another Tattoo”: No matter how much ink he gets, he’ll always bear the mark of Ronald Reagan. Now, 1988: That was the perfect time to be Weird Al. With Reagan cruising to re-election and Michael Jackson’s Bad — which had come out the previous August — pumping out hit after hit, conditions were ripe for Yankovic’s Even Worse, which parodied Bad’s leathered-up album sleeve and its title track with the guilt-free corn of “Fat.” He injected some wit into George Harrison’s ubiquitous version of “Got My Mind Set on You” with “(This Song’s Just) Six Words Long,” turned “La Bamba” into the saucy “Lasagna,” tweaked chart-toppers like Tiffany and The Beastie Boys, and had an au courant original rocker in “Stuck in a Closet with Vanna White.” Funny thing: Even Worse sounds less dated — not to mention a hell of a lot more fun — than Alpocalypse. But don’t blame Weird Al; cheesy as the ’80s may have been, mainstream pop’s in even worse shape these days. (m_fine@citypaper.net)

SLEEPER HIT: Terri, the story of a frumpy teenager trudging through the doldrums of high school, feels more familiar than Azazel Jacobs’ past work.

³ IT’S A WEIRD time to be “Weird Al” Yank-

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because “they fit me comfortably,” walks to school, he passes through a wooded clearing as if he’s entering the world of fairy tales, or leaving it. In most ways, the terrain of Azazel Jacobs’ fourth feature is more familiar than the cluttered artists’ warren of Momma’s Man, which Jacobs — son of experimental filmmaker Ken Jacobs — shot in his childhood apartment. It’s a movie about a high school misfit who’s taken under the wing of an eccentric principal (John C. Reilly) and finds common cause with a sullen burnout (Bridger Zadina) and a pretty blond girl (Olivia Crocicchia) who’s ostracized for giving in to a boy’s sexual demands. But there’s a vein of unpredictability running through the film, a sense of the way children, and adults, construct ritual out of the flotsam of everyday life. After Terri’s uncle (Creed Bratton) gives him the task of setting mousetraps in the attic crawl space, Terri lies in his bed and listens to them spring. Later, he uses their bodies to lure a hungry hawk, letting out a whoop in sharp contrast to his generally glum mien. It’s as if he’s trying to create meaning out of the muddy soup of adolescence, to vault over the painful indeterminacy of a high school outcast. Terri’s regular meetings with the principal evolve into a kind of intellectual slapstick, as survival strategies are mooted and discarded. If he doesn’t know who he is, Terri at least has a good idea of who he’s not. In the film’s climactic set piece, Terri and his two sometime allies hole up in a garden shed and, with the help of a whiskey bottle and his uncle’s Alzheimer’s meds, hit their highs and lows in dizzying succession. It’s like a compressed parable of the teenage years, sometimes dazzling in its emotional sweep and yet another reason to keep a close eye on Jacobs. —Sam Adams

EVEN BETTER

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HAIL TO THE PHREAKS

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A new Philly festival makes room for everyone under the rainbow. By A.D. Amorosi

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hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a neat trick at the heart of the firstever Phreak Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Queer Arts & Music Festival. Along with presenting everything weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve come to expect in a Philly fest â&#x20AC;&#x201D; live music, visual artistry, films, lectures, performance art, poetry â&#x20AC;&#x201D; these organizers are pushing a super-niche agenda of radical gay entertainment: naughty cabaret, punk-rock fairies, nasty-ass MCs, dirty beats. The crew representing Phreak Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Queer is unreservedly DIY, unabashedly sexual â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t dig the mod-gay club life. These are dicey young drag queens in chipped nail polish, nothing like their blow-dried J-Lo impersonator counterparts. These are catty rappers screaming through noise, not some neatly applied, approval-ready sample. These are thespians practicing their craft while playing cute electro-pop, queer country artists singing alongside two-step dance lessons at the Gay Ole Opry, zombies performing atop heavy-metal tracks. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an edgy, skanky, neo-baroque quality to all of this. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not that these acts are new to the scene â&#x20AC;&#x201D; from Joe Jack Talcum and Sgt. Sass to Benni E and Erik Ransom, these punks have regular gigs throughout the city. But to have it all in your face, all at once, dazzles the imagination. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We want to inspire and surprise,â&#x20AC;? says Corinne Thornton, one of 12 principal organizers of Phreak Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Queer. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We want audiences to be like, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Whoa, I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t realize there were so many great queer artists in Philly.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Thornton has spent a decade holding events for the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lesbian, bisexual and transgender population to raise awareness, social consciousness and money. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been part of FUSE parties held at South Streetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s XO Lounge and is a Sapphire Fund board director with masterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s degrees in social work, law and social policy. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s witnessed every sort of gay-themed event â&#x20AC;&#x201D; but noticed that many of them feel overly slick and sober. â&#x20AC;&#x153;So many queer events in the city have this shiny commercialism to them,â&#x20AC;?

[ arts & entertainment ]

Thornton says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It still just feels like you walk into a gay bar or party in this city, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the same music over and over. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very Top 40. We wanted to show the underground side of our community.â&#x20AC;? She and her booking partners decided to do something that felt a little grittier, a little riskier, to push people out of their comfort zones while making a space for those who want to go out, but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to have to dress up or pay a lot of money. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We want to showcase diversity of genres, formats and people.â&#x20AC;? Oh, and zombies. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s where Rainbow Destroyer comes in. Certainly the freakiest Phreak Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Queer offering, the truckerhat-donning pair â&#x20AC;&#x201D; sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rainbeaux Brite, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Brian Reignbow â&#x20AC;&#x201D; present a kind of Yazoo-esque death-karaoke. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Plus weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re whores whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d take any show offer,â&#x20AC;? jokes Reignbow. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A queer music festival with a pun in its title â&#x20AC;&#x201D; whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d say no?â&#x20AC;? Reignbow agrees that the fest seeks to attract those who are uncomfortable or put off by regular Pride events, those who feel displaced or discounted by gay stereotypes. â&#x20AC;&#x153;People who could call themselves â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;non-homonormative,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? he explains. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rainbow Destroyer speaks to that audience because our music isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t about being queer. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about being awesome and, incidentally, queer.â&#x20AC;? In that regard, the festival is really all about inclusivity. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In avoiding the rainbow flags, it makes it more open and safe for closet cases and people who donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel comfortable being pigeonholed as strictly gay,â&#x20AC;? says Reignbow. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no sense of having to be â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;legitimatelyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; gay to participate or appreciate it. Every kind of artist and audience member has a place. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re really hoping for variety. It means more people paying attention to us. Besides, everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a little queer.â&#x20AC;? (a_amorosi@citypaper.net) ďż˝ The Phreak Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Queer Arts & Music

Festival runs through Aug. 7. For more information, visit wix.com/marseaumarseau/phreaknqueer.

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NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. WINNERS WILL BE CHOSEN AT RANDOM FROM ALL ELIGIBLE ENTRIES. EMPLOYEES OF ALL SPONSORS ARE NOT ELIGIBLE. THIS FILM IS RATED R. MUST BE 17 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER TO RECEIVE A PASS.

IN THEATRES AUGUST 12TH

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www.citypaper.net/win

On August 5th and 6th Sony Pictures will be giving away free pizza in Philadelphia! Follow twitter.com/30MinutesOrLess to ямБnd the pizza truck locations near you.

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INVITE YOU AND A GUEST TO A SPECIAL ADVANCE SCREENING

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The New York Times

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movie

EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT THE MUST SEE COMEDY OF THE SUMMER!

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FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

TIME

Point Blank

� NEW THE CHANGE-UP Read Shaun Brady’s review at citypaper.net/movies. (UA Grant, UA Riverview)

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THE DEVIL’S DOUBLE Read Cindy Fuchs’ review at citypaper.net/movies. (Ritz East)

SCREEN GEMS PRESENTS A CASTLE ROCK ENTERTAINMENT/ZUCKER/OLIVE BRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT PRODUCTION A WILL GLUCK FILM JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE MILA KUNIS “FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS” PATRICIA CLARKSON TH RICHARD JENKINS AND WOODY HARRELSON JENNA ELFMANEXECUTIVEBRYAN GREENBERG WISTORY MUSIC SUPERVISION BY WENDE CROWLEY PRODUCER GLENN S. GAINOR BY HARLEY PEYTON AND KEITH MERRYMAN & DAVID A. NEWMAN SCREENPLAY BY KEITH MERRYMAN & DAVID A. NEWMAN AND WILL GLUCK PRODUCED DIRECTED BY MARTIN SHAFER LIZ GLOTZER JERRY ZUCKER JANET ZUCKER WILL GLUCK BY WILL GLUCK CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES

PASSIONE!: A MUSICAL ADVENTURE|C+ Naples, declares John Turturro at the start of his film, “has survived earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, foreign invasions, crime, corruption, poverty, neglect. But at the same time, it has continuously produced an avalanche of music, throughout the ages.” This mix of enthusiasm and awkwardness is an apt introduction to the film, which offers one passionate performance after another. These songs tell stories, the director asserts, and even if they might turn sentimental in translations, in their original forms, they are earthy, ironic and full of compelling contradictions. For the most part, they describe desire and infidelity. Sometimes, as in the case of James Senes, they reflect on racism and class, even national identity and gender. But the songs in this movie — framed by Turturro, artfully lip-synched and choreographed, set in piazzas or on balconies, on staircases and stages — rehearse the subject matter for which Italy is so well known (not to say stereotyped), which is sex. Occasional footage from WWII sketches a historical context, as do brief interviews with citizens — a chef, a woman with sunglasses, great artists. It doesn’t dig into causes and backgrounds, psychologies or ideologies. Instead, it offers performance as such, flamboyant and banal, often at the same time. —Cindy Fuchs (Ritz at the Bourse)

POINT BLANK|BNot, alas, a reissue of John Boorman’s psychedelic hitman classic, but a French ticking-clock thriller, originally titled À bout portant. Gilles Lelouche plays a nurse whose pregnant wife is kidnapped and held for ransom after he interrupts an assassination attempt on patient Roschdy Zem, himself wanted for the murder of a wealthy businessman. Lelouche’s task is to take out Zem himself, but instead the two form an uneasy alliance to track down their mutual adversary. Fred Cavayé, who directed the French source for The Next Three Days, stages the action with a minimum of fuss and frill, producing a lean, even undernourished, dish that clocks in at barely an hour and quarter (not counting a tacked-on epilogue). Lelouche’s everyman charisma engages you at first, but there’s so little to the character beyond his primal need to protect his family that it’s tough to stay firmly in his corner. The movie is engaging but shallow, like a sugar rush that leaves you feeling hollow when it wears off. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five) THE RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES Read Shaun Brady’s review at citypaper.net/movies. (Pearl, UA Grant, UA Riverview)

TERRI|B+ Read Sam Adams’ review on p. 19. (Ritz at the Bourse)

� CONTINUING A LITTLE HELP|BSitcom vet Michael Weithorn’s first feature is a drab, unremarkable indie lifted by a warm, understated turn by Jenna Fischer as a widowed single mother struggling

As a native New Yorker and a devout hip-hop head, Michael Rapaport could’ve easily set his Big Apple Rap Masturba-Tron™ to auto-jerk and let it run for the duration of his documentary on A Tribe Called Quest. But it turns out the actor and first-time director’s admiration for the influential ’90s act doesn’t cloud his sometimes-klutzy but altogether sincere and captivating examination of Tribe’s innovation — and eventual implosion. —Drew Lazor (Ritz at the Bourse)

CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE.|BAs mom and dad Steve Carell and Julianne Moore head toward divorce, their son (Jonah Bobo) nurses a fierce crush on his baby sitter (Analeigh Tipton), who is herself hot for Carell. Newly single Carell takes tips from seasoned pickup artist Ryan Gosling, who takes pity on the hapless older man but falls prey to Cupid’s wiles

“HHHHThelma ! FASCINATING!” Adams, US WEEKLY “SHOCKING AND RIVETING! AN EXCELLENT FILM!” Rex Reed, NEW YORK OBSERVER

“A DECADENT

THRILL RIDE!”

once the uncommonly resistant Emma Stone comes into the picture. Intertwining love plots go back at least as far as Restoration comedy, but the script peddles shopworn adages instead of hard-earned truths. Each story feels like something that happened to a friend of a friend, just far enough removed to feel naggingly out of whack. —S.A. (Roxy, UA Grant, UA Riverview)

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS|BYes, Friends with Benefits is basically a mirror image of No Strings Attached. But what elevates the second go’round is the chemistry between Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, a natural ease that went missing when prankster-douche Ashton Kutcher and icyhot Natalie Portman flopped around in bed together. Watching these two un-self-consciously explore sexual boundaries is a fun way to spend a

[ movie shorts ]

couple of hours. —Carolyn Huckabay (Pearl, UA Grant, UA Riverview)

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 2|B+ With our hero (Daniel Radcliffe) on a frantic search for the last of Lord Voldemort’s (Ralph Fiennes) Horcruxes, most Part 2 scenes are building blocks for the climactic Battle of Hogwarts, where the two factions finally dance. Though there are snack-size portions of the youthful, magic-charged mischief that four-time Potter director David Yates is so good at staging, there’s simply no time for Harry to sulk — Yates is too busy marching the kids through the thickets of death, remorse and salvation. —D.L. (Pearl, Roxy, UA Grant, UA Riverview)

the agenda | food | classifieds

BEATS RHYMES & LIFE: THE TRAVELS OF A TRIBE CALLED QUEST | B+

Wife dress-wearing Ella (Olivia Wilde) and Mr. Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), an irascible war hero turned cattle rancher whose every coarse utterance seems destined for the bottom of a rusty spittoon. With every instance of painful dialogue or logic-lacking plot development tempered by snarling CGI space monsters and idyllic desert topography getting freaking blown up by lasers, Cowboys & Aliens is mindless summer fare at its sunniest. —D.L. (Pearl, UA Grant, UA Riverview)

a&e

ANOTHER EARTH|B In Mike Cahill’s debut feature, Sundance darling Brit Marling is at the wheel, tipsy after a night of toasting her acceptance into MIT. While the celebratory drinking plays a part in the ensuing accident, which kills the wife and child of a composer, far more distracting to this would-be astrophysicist is the sudden appearance in the night sky of a new, parallel Earth. The implications of this shadow planet play out in the background of Another Earth, adding a layer of philosophical sci-fi to what is chiefly a human drama. —Shaun Brady (Ritz East)

of Scott Mitchell Rosenberg’s 2006 graphic novel, Cowboys & Aliens is cheesy, formulaic and at times utterly nonsensical. But it’s so comfortable in its corny-blockbuster clothes that it’s pointless to wag a finger at its contrivances. The lead cowboy in question is Jake Lonergan (top-ranked butterface Daniel Craig), a coach-robbin’ bandit who wakes up an amnesiac in the middle of the dirt, a strange metallic device locked onto his wrist. Making his way into town, he’s soon reminded of his outlaw status, sealed in a stagecoach bound for federal lockup — until a human-snatching gang of E.T. flying machines inadvertently busts him loose. Soon learning that his new bracelet has the ability to stop the alien freaks dead in their clawed tracks, Lonergan bands together with the townspeople to combat the otherworldy colonial threat, joining forces with meek publican Doc (Sam Rockwell), gun-totin’, Sister

the naked city | feature

to reassemble her life in the wake of 9/11. For a movie without much on its mind, A Little Help is impressively determined in its downward spiral, with only the minimum uplift to prevent audiences from walking straight out of the theater and into oncoming traffic. —S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

“ONE OF THE MOST THOUGHT-PROVOKING FILMS OF THE YEAR.”

“IT’S SCARFACE OF ARABIA...

David Ansen, LA FILM FESTIVAL

I LOVE THIS MOVIE!”

Harry Knowles, AIN’T IT COOL NEWS

D O M I N I C

“PROVOCATIVE, SMART ENTERTAINMENT.”

C O O P E R

FOX SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES presents

COWBOYS & ALIENS|C+ A blustery Jon Favreau interpretation

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LANDMARK THEATRES

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AnotherEarth.com

feature | the naked city a&e classifieds | food | the agenda

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS|B+ No filmmaker has been so self-aware and yet so trapped by his own neuroses as Woody Allen. Midnight in Paris is his latest auto-diagnosis, recognizing his chronic discontent and romanticization of an ideal other time, other place. That would be 1920s Paris, which screenwriter Gil (Owen Wilson) pines for as his own gilded age. Despite his role as chronicler of modern intellectual life, Allen has never shied away from leavening his films with fantasy, and the latest iteration results in his best film in recent memory. —S.B. (Ritz Five) SARAH’S KEY|D Gilles Paquet-Brenner’s swooning drama not only plays on liberal guilt but incorporates it directly into the narrative, paralleling the ordeal of a young Jewish girl during the infamous Vel’ d’Hiv Roundup of 1942 with the

well-appointed suffering of Kristin Scott Thomas as a present-day journalist uncovering her story. Of course, as with so much Academy bait, the horrors of the past are mainly relevant to helping muddle through our own life crises. We are the “product of our history,” Scott Thomas points out as a way to sum the film up, but Sarah’s Key is the latest product in a long line that forces history to be the product of our own overwhelming self-absorption. —S.B. (Ritz Five)

THE SMURFS|F The Smurfs, brought to the screen by Raja Gosnell, possibly the most shamelessly idea-free director working today, transports a handful of the little blue buggers to Central Park to complicate — but really, enlighten — Neil Patrick Harris’ life. With action and humor squarely aimed at the youngest and

l, nsefu like e p s u lays ” ely s prem iller that p EAM. u s , d r e c R h t a p h ET D ously Frenc W K ”A furi directed C E IN Z O Cy, PAPER MAGA IRECTED ” lly InTnisCDeH D rmod skillfu RED H ALLY PER. – De F GETIC E-PUM L R E E A IC N VO “AN E AN LIaN L AGE A n, VIL N E R oberm H D . J – A

A U G U S T 4 - A U G U S T 1 0 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

� REPERTORY FILM AMBLER THEATER 108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, 215-3457855, amblertheater.org. Pulp Fiction (1994, U.S., 154 min.): “If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.” Mon., Aug. 8, 7 p.m., $9.75.

Everyday Sunshine: The Story of Fishbone (2010, U.S., 103 min.) A

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Road trips offer freedom of exploration, unscheduled days — and the occasionally hellish confinement of being trapped in a tiny space with another person. Comedians Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon swerve between both extremes while traveling through the British countryside, carping at each other, riffing on inane comic concepts and sinking into self-absorbed silences. In short, it’s just like any long car trip — with the added neuroses of two professional comedians. —S.B. (Ritz at the Bourse)

Piazza at Schmidts, Second and Hancock streets, theawesomefest.com.

O VIE.C KMO

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least demanding of audiences, there’s also a chase through FAO Schwartz that manages to cram in as much advertising as an entire season of the old Saturday morning cartoon. Cynical, Crass, Aggravating and Joyless aren’t named onscreen, but they’re the Smurfs who make the most impression. —S.B. (Pearl, UA Grant, UA Riverview)

Daily: 12:20, 2:50, RITZ FIVE Center City 215-925-7900 5:30, 7:55, 10 LANDMARK THEATRES

chronicling of Fishbone, an ’80s punk/ funk band that made a name for itself revolting against the mainstream music industry. A Q&A with director Chris Metzler follows. Sun., Aug. 7, 8:30 p.m., free.

INVITES YOU TO AN ADVANCE SCREENING ON WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 10 AT A PHILADELPHIA AREA THEATER.

[ movie shorts ]

FAIRMOUNT WATER WORKS INTERPRETIVE CENTER

ganic About Organic? (2010, U.S.,

59 min.): Organic farming has become a multi-billion-dollar business. This film ponders what has to happen to cater to growing consumer interest while continuing to utilize healthy, eco-friendly farming practices. Thu., Aug. 4, 8:45 p.m., free.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. The Atomic Sublime (2010, U.S., 72 min.): Piecing together found footage, Jesse Lerner discovers a correlation between politics and the rise of modern art. Sat., Aug. 6, 7 p.m., $8.

MUGSHOTS COFFEEHOUSE AND CAFE 2100 Fairmount Ave., 267-514-7145, mugshotscoffeehouse.com. Back to the Future (1985, U.S., 116 min.): If you could take a trip in the DeLorean, would you go? Fri., Aug. 5, 7 p.m., free. The Time Traveler’s Wife (2009, U.S., 107 min.): This guy wouldn’t. His time-travel gene is screwing up his marriage. Mon., Aug. 8, 7 p.m., free.

640 Waterworks Drive, 215-685-0723, fairmountwaterworks.com. Rango (2011, U.S., 107 min.): In line with its monthlong Discover the Moon and Tides series, FWWIC is screening this computer-animated tale about a chameleon who gets dumped in the waterdeprived town of Dirt. Saturdays in August, 1:30 p.m. and 3:30 p.m., free.

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[ the agenda ]

food | classifieds

Sat., Aug. 6, 9 p.m., $10, with Heavy Cream and Hans Condor, M Room, 15 W. Girard Ave., 215-739-5577, mroomphilly.com.

the food, the carnival games, the good vibes â&#x20AC;&#x201D; all signs point to this being a big fun family outing. But, uh, good luck explaining Das Racist to the kiddies.

the agenda

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Patrick Rapa

has been a staple of the Philly underground and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sure to go out with a bang and all sorts of

the naked city | feature | a&e

thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing to fear. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why you and I are here.â&#x20AC;? Probably Hamesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; greatest trick, though, is sneaking these deep cuts and hurtinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; bombs into just the catchiest, most jubilant rock songs. The Nashville bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brand-new Wicked Will (Varese Fontana) is a brilliant barrage of garage punk and swinging Phil Spector-ish pop. You will love this album.

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Wired 96.5 on the Main Floor House Music on The Roof Thursday Birthday - bottle of champagne and cake on the house!

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the agenda

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the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city food classifieds

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portioncontrol By Adam Erace

HALL PASS FRANKFORD HALL | 1210 Frankford Ave., 215-6343338, frankfordhall.com. Open Mon.-Fri., 4 p.m.-2 a.m.; Sat.-Sun., noon-2 a.m. Appetizers, $5-$12; sausages, $5-$9; entrées, $14-$15; sides, $3-$4; dessert, $2.50-$3.

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³ WINE OR BEER? Fish or beef? Dessert or

cheese? Dining in a restaurant is a process fraught with decisions. But nowhere besides Stephen Starr’s spiffy new German beer garden, Frankford Hall, will your friend take sip of his pint, turn to you and ask, “Ping-Pong or Jenga?” Frankford Hall has both, as well as a variety of other board games stacked by the mustard and curry ketchup dispensers. After ordering our beers at the bar on the garden’s south side — predictably heavy on Teutonic brews — and food from the counter on the north, we settled into a match of the block-stacking game, it being 90-plus degrees and the less sweat-inducing of the two activities. Twenty-foot brick walls of a Fishtown warehouse frame the courtyard on three sides, sucking in unsuspecting breezes like water down a drain. Even on days so hot and still that everything outside seems suspended in molasses, the squad of shady Linden trees is in perpetual rustle. It’s cool here, in both definitions of the word, but the hot mustard will definitely make you sweat. Spread it along the curves of the warm Bavarian pretzel — way better than the clammy cheese dip, and not $2 — or on one of six sausages served naked. To get them snuggled in potato buns costs an extra buck. Only the frankfurter, crafted by Illg’s Meats of Bucks County, comes on a roll. Hot, plump and perspiring with juices just itching for your teeth to free them, it makes a damn fine summer dog. I also tried the käsekrainer, beef, pork and cheese mummified in a casing so taut I needed a chainsaw to get through it. Tangy but mushy red cabbage and uncharacteristically creamy German potato salad piled on the disappointment like so many Jenga blocks before me. But there was salvation in the haystack of thin, salty fries, springy spätzle and jägerschnitzel, crisp cutlet perfection flooded with mushroom gravy. Conceived by S.R.O. corporate chef Chris Painter and executed by Jim Davidson, formerly of Barclay Prime, Butcher & Singer and Starr’s Art Museum café, the menu is due for a makeover. Once the Lindens shed their leaves, the glass garage doors that divide the beer garden from the interior will be sealed for the season, and Frankford Hall will offer a more traditional restaurant experience. Too early to start thinking Oktoberfest? (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

COCK OF THE WALK: Gunners Run’s excellent Cajun-spiced barbecue chicken, served with grilled veggies and a side of buttermilk potato salad. NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

STRAIGHT SHOOTIN’ The food at Gunners Run won’t change your life, but it’ll certainly improve your night. By Adam Erace

GUNNERS RUN | Piazza at Schmidts, 1001 N. Second St., 215-923-

4600, gunnersrun.com. Open Mon.-Fri., 11:30 a.m.-2 a.m.; Sat.-Sun., 11 a.m.-2 a.m.; brunch Sat.-Sun., 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Appetizers, $6-$10; entrées, $8-$20; desserts, $4-$5.

n a hot, malarial Thursday, love flowed in the Piazza. And I don’t just mean Summer Love, the Victory Brewing beer currently on tap at Gunners Run, the new faux-dive squatting in the faux-square’s southwest corner. No, I mean actual love. You could feel it in these loveless badlands, dispelling the bad juju plaguMore on: ing the place like a desecrated burial ground. Of the Piazza’s four sit-down restaurants, two (Apollinare and Swift Half) called it quits this year, to say nothing of the Boy Who Cried Speck. But already, three new eateries have slid into these graves like lovers into silk sheets. Gunners Run is one, taking up Swift Half’s torch as the enclave’s neighborhood pub. Whether it will outwit the wiles of the revamped ruins of this one-time brewery remains to be seen, but a recent visit proved that Gunners is, at the very least, trying very hard. “Would you like to sit outside?” the hostess asked us. With Philly

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feeling like a convection oven, no, no, we didn’t want to sit outside. “I know, I feel ridiculous for asking,” she offered as staffers in clingy tees hustled like moving men on deadline to clear the center of the masculine, exposed brick-wrapped room. Tables lumbered into the sunlight, speakers taking their place. A long, wood communal table, home to a build-your-own Bloody Mary bar during weekend brunch, was pushed to the side. Electrical cords snaked across the floor, stuck down with duct tape. “We’ve got a show tonight.” That show turned out to be a Warped Tour after-party, with a performance by the band Lionize. It’s not surprising considering two of the owners of Gunners Run — it’s named after the creek that once flowed where Aramingo Avenue is now — are concert promoter Bryan Dilworth and booking agent Tim Borror. (Jason Goldberg, tattoo artist and owner of Olde City Tattoo, is the third.) The staff rolls squad-deep, and there’s power in numbers. That hostess went out of her way to wrangle us a table inside, where our pert server laced a friendly attitude with MORE FOOD AND a pro’s acuity and a saint’s patience. From DRINK COVERAGE the composed demeanor of the Gunners AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / Run crew, I never could have guessed that M E A LT I C K E T. the back-of-the-house was upside-down. The opening chef had bounced shortly after the restaurant opened in March; his replacement lasted only through early July. On the busy night I visited, Dilworth’s brother, Shane, was doing his best Michael Martinez, called up at the last minute and performing ably under the circumstances. Yeah, the mussels’ fennel-and-white wine broth was so buttery I could have rolled an ear of corn in it. And the lackluster linguine >>> continued on adjacent page

ďż˝ Straight Shootinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; <<< continued from previous page

That frosty gazpacho was a stir of vegetable echoes.

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LIBERTY DELI

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PA RT Y P LATT E R S FULL LINE OF GROCERIES LU N C H T I M E D E L I V E RY

326 W. POPLAR ST.

(Corner of Orianna & Poplar)

215-238-0055

MON-FRI 7AM-9PM SATURDAY 8AM-8PM SUNDAY 9AM-6PM

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with grape tomatoes, asparagus and shrimp seemed present more by obligation than merit. But besides those flubs, Dilworth, a criminal defense attorney and one-time chef at the Five Spot, delivered in the rest of the meal. Baked with thyme then fried, his wings gleamed in a fire-orange chili-sauce soak that started vigorously peppery and ended with a wink of honey sweetness. The vegan â&#x20AC;&#x153;chickenâ&#x20AC;? cutlet sandwich could convert a carnivore with its tenderness, though the seeded Liscioâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s roll, sautĂŠed spinach and onions and tomato sauce didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hurt. Fresh-fried, featherweight tortilla chips distinguished the nachos from countless others; they were dressed in layers so no chip was left naked, with vegetarian refried beans, house-pickled jalapeĂąos, pico, sour cream and cheddar clinging to each chip. The cheese could have been more molten, though, and fortunately, the place has already switched to a better-melting brand. These greatest hits might not change your life, but theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll certainly improve your night. A few extra flourishes in the recipes and more thoughtful ingredient sourcing â&#x20AC;&#x201D; see: Standard Tap, South Philly Tap Room â&#x20AC;&#x201D; would go a long way toward earning Gunners Run admittance to the gastropub pantheon. Maybe thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just my selfish desire, though. Gunners Run is still a bar where Miller Lite outsells Sunshine Pils, Yards Brawler, Bellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Oberon and the seven other craft beers on tap, and it would be unwise of them to price out their cash cows. At least the sweet, tangy strawberry-rhubarb pie was seasonally tuned, and the tomatoes in the refreshing gazpacho were Jersey fresh. I found the soup on the blackboard of nightly specials, where Dilworthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most compelling plates dwelled. That frosty soup was a stir of vegetable echoes: the sweet tomatoes, cucumbers, red onion, red pepper. Thankfully, Dilworth didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t purĂŠe the gazpacho to smithereens, instead emulsifying only half of each batch with extra-virgin, the rich yin to the yang of piquant red wine vinegar. Slicked with house-made Russian dressing, a traditional Reuben rose high on rye, sauerkraut peeking out its edges in another special. Saucy barbecued chicken resonated with Cajun spices, its sweet and tangy glaze staining a snow-white buttermilk potato salad on the side. Most entrĂŠes also come with seasonal vegetables, mine being squash, fennel and tomatoes in a lightly grilled ode to summer. Another tribute to the season: a thin buttermilk waffle piled high with ice cream, strawberry sauce and hot fudge that would be at home on any boardwalk. By now, several of Dilworthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one-offs will have migrated to the revamped main menu, but who knows if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be deported now that another new chef is in charge: James Ciampaglia, a veteran of Amada and Lacroix, will certainly want to brand the bill of fare as his own. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hoping heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll settle in for longer than those before him. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

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gracetavern.com

CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT...

IT GETS BETTER

NOT YOUNG ANYMORE!

I love you so much and always will. you and I have been thru so much and even though we’ve both tried to walk away we’re more in love than ever. I promise you it’ll get better. it has to. It’s proof of that. cheer up we love you. BABYDOLL

At my current age I know that I can pass for someone that is totally younger...But your ass really makes me sick when I see you, you think that you are hot! Your a stupid ass pissy bitch you know you smell and you left the smell on the chair. Your childish ways are no longer acceptable at this age!

LA PENA How can i express? You’ve heard it all before and you’ll hear it all again. Maybe seeing this in print will make you smile, and seeing as how that is such a beautiful thing to witness i might as well

CRUNCH TIME! Now is the time...it begins...I thought that you and I were going to make a future together and if I have the baby where does that leave me with your cheating ass! You need to get it together and make up your mind of which situation is more important to you...I just don’t understand the way that you are thinking anymore! I love the fact that I can talk to you about things...but for me right now that is not enough...I need to know exactly where I stand in your life! Tell me what the hell you want from me!

I thought that you were a good nice person, but finding out that you were a piece of self shit, wasn’t surprising to me at all! I think as a matter of fact I know that you are selfish and you think that the sun rises on you and it doesn’t! I am so tired of you doing the things that you do to me and others, I really want to smack you in the face so bad... it kills me that I can’t do it and get away with it! I hold myself back all the time from smacking your face! I want you to know how selfish you are...starting now I am fucking ignoring you....

To all those people who think that they are better than someone else, fuck you and you are a fucking devil. I can’t believe that you are just doing what you are doing. The most two-faced person that I know! I can’t believe that you get away with half the shit that you get away with. I want you to know that I have my eyes on your fucking deviled ass! I wish sometimes that I could do a magic spell and you would go away! If you are as miserable as you say that you are you would go away already! Take a hint nobody wants you stinky ass around anymore! I know that I sure don’t...I hate you, you fucking devil!

WOMAN ON BUS!

Absolutely gorgeous - saw you at the Trader’s checkout. Guess I was staring at you, but you also looked familiar and could not place you. Afterwards I thought that you were a younger version of this woman I am secretly (of necessity)crazy about - not to say that you are not stunning in your own right - God, you are! Well, as I was slogging my bags home, there you were just across the street on my street. Wonder if my dream was her, or was it you?

I DON’T KNOW

out of the house in the morning! PS: Do you have a girlfriend, or if you do, does she know and appreciate how sexy you are, cause I know I would!

I’M IN PAIN Your fat stinking ass tried to kill me...she laid her big fat stomach and laid all her fucking weight on me...I waited 13 years for this for your hot stinking breath and your musty smelling body. You are a disgrace to every big, beautiful woman out there. you want everything done to you and when I asked you to ride me you couldn’t even do that! Other than trying to kill me with your big fat stomach, I think you bruised my ribcage! Never again, I am not leaving all big women alone!

go for it. love you. Always have your back. Never want to hurt you in a million years, sorry i fuck up on that so commonly. When i wake up in the morning I sometimes think I can smell you. Of course none of this has any worth... i still think it’s just so pretty. I sink into the filth cloud and when I do you’re always in my thoughts. It’s gotta be ok. It’s gotta be.

LOST FOR WORDS I can do bad all by myself without your cheating ass. I have given you 6 years of my life for you to have a child behind my back. I gave you my last when you never had. No more pleas of you doing right by my side, this is my final goodbye to your broke deadbeat ass. I will be better without you....

but I am here...you know that I love you and I hope that facebook is not going to break our relationship up! I know that you are married and I know that you love me, I know you do! You can’t say that you don’t...when you make love to your wife, you think about me! I know that you do...I just don’t understand, why you aren’t coming to Philly to see me! I would go there to see you if you sent me a ticket! All in all, it is what it is...surprisingly you sent me a voicemail. I hope that you aren’t on there saying something nasty because honestly save that for your wife!

� To place your FREE ad (100 word limit), go to citypaper.net/ILUIHU and follow the prompts. ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

When I walk down the street I seem to see you

YOU ARE THERE..

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You stupid ass bitch, why did you sit right next to me and there were a million fucking other seats to sit at, then you had the nerve to have all those kids with you and then the funny part you look at me like I am crazy when I get up and move! You dumb bitch, there were plenty of other seats for you to sit at! I hope I don’t see your stupid ass the rest of the week! I am getting tired of bouncing from seat to seat! If is ridiculous. People if there are enough seats why the hell would you want to smash someone into a seat knowing damn well there are plenty of other seats to sit in! Dumb bitch!

GORGEOUS

How dare you sit there continously and rub your leg on mine and then when I asked to be let up to move you look at me like I am crazy...Some of you guys are really playing with fucking fire because you don’t know what women are carrying on them, because I was going to straight up spray your ass with mace! I really was. Sometimes you guys need to understand that just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean that we don’t have it! I hope I don’t see your ugly ass again! Because I have some mace with your name on it!

The same stupid fights every night the same spite in your eyes your wandering eyes your stoney face. The same disrespect and your closet resentment. The years haven’t improved a thing. So I’ve sworn loyalty and tied this anvil to my heart, and now, I think I should fly,....Rather than live every day without love,without a purpose, but with you at my side. I’m not an unattractive or undesirable person, as you would like to make me believe after a while. You reap what you sow, and I’ll sow my wild oats.

SELFISH

DEVIL

GUY ON TRAIN

OVER AND OVER

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I hate the fact that we live so far apart. I really hate the fact that you have a boyfriend. But I love the fact that I found you because I never thought that I’d talk to you again. Ever since we came back into contact. I think about you all the time. Your facebook messages always make me so happy. Most of the time they’re the highlight of my day,as pathetic as that sounds! But I’ve had so many girls that I liked for a little while and and totally forgot about and after like 4 years I still wish you were my girlfriend. I don’t know why I feel this way, I guess there just really is something about Mary LOL.Someday, girl... someday.

wherever I go and to be quiet honest I am just wondering if you are trying to get to know me or something. I like the fact that you are everywhere I go but I wish that you would say something to me or be like hi or something. Then you and I can get together and do somethings. You seem to be a person or great interest for me and I can’t wait until you decide to open your mouth and say hi! I want to say hi over and over just to hear you speak which I haven’t had the opportunity to get yet, but when I do you better watch out because we would definitely be dangerous together! I love the fact that I know that I will see you when I get

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[ i love you, i hate you ]

27 31

By Matt Jones

“WE NOW INTERRUPT YOUR ADS ... ” — WITH EVEN MORE ADS

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� ACROSS 1 “Buddy on ___” (Buckethead song) 6 Pierrot le ___ (Jean-Luc Godard movie) 9 Sheet music header for the viola or bassoon 14 Drag Me To Hell director Sam 15 Neighbor of Greece: abbr. 16 Pimiento’s place 17 Make an escape 19 Hot dog option 20 Really, really integral baseball stats (or a hair stylist ad interrupted by a cookie ad)? 22 Annabel Lee author 23 Alum 24 Hip-hop label “Respecting DJs since 1984” 28 Nat ___ (documentary network, for short) 29 Spooky mammal 32 Native Alaskan 33 Took to court 34 E pluribus ___ 36 Dubliners add liquor to the circle (or a soap ad interrupted by a furniture store ad)? 39 ___ Maarten (Caribbean island) 40 Feels under the weather 41 Sunni’s faith 42 One way to wager on horses: abbr. 43 Dachshund diagnoser 44 Ron who’s changing his name 45 Clan of the Cave Bear author Jean 47 Dept. of the Interior org. that

employs forest firefighters 48 Reynolds’ impressions of an MTV dimwit (or a cosmetics ad interrupted by a rental car ad)? 54 Stephen Vincent ___ 55 King Arthur’s sword 57 Scrabble 3-pointer 58 “Go team!” 59 Circumvent 60 Horny mythical beast 61 Baseball execs 62 Final decision

� DOWN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 18 21 24 25 26 27 28 30

Wall St. worker Health scare of 2002-2003 “In ___ of flowers...” ___ of the World (Pat Metheny album) Dirt trail in a park It’s a travesty Muffin spread They make techies look tame Hot chocolate Thunderous event Bellybutton stuff Days before the big day Palin impersonator Gift tag word Wear away Speaker’s platform “The river,” in Mexico Fakeout move By a hair Remorseful feeling Like an old lady (anagram of

ELIAN) 31 Sushi fishies 33 Director of 2011’s The Adventures of Tintin 35 Band with the 2010 album Congratulations 37 Comes to the rescue 38 Money in the sky 44 Thomas Edison’s middle name 46 Speak 47 Family of classical composers 48 Test release 49 Student’s daily workload 50 Big test 51 Lead single from The Smashing Pumpkins’ Gish 52 Place to do your bidding? 53 Brew 54 Little bullets 56 Rock’s ___ Speedwagon

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merchandise market Desktops/Laptops & Repairs/ Upgrades net ready. Incl MS Ofc, $200 215.292.4145

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.50s sf (215)365-5826 CABINETS GLAZED CHERRY Brand new, solid wood/dovetail. Crown molding. Can add or subtract to fit kitchen Cost $6400. Sell $1595. 610-952-0033

POOL TABLE Gorgeous 8’ solid wood 1" BDRM SET: Solid Cherry Sleigh Bed, slate, lthr pckts, dec legs & access/ Nvr Dresser, Mirror, Chest, & 2 Nite Stands. High Quality. One month old, Must sell. used, $4500, Sell $1495. 610-476-8889 Cost $6000 ask. $1500. 610-952-0033 BED A brand new Queen pillow top mattress set w/warr. $229; Full $220; King $299. Memory Foam $295. 215-752-0911 BD MATTRESS Luxury Firm w/box sprIng Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033

everything pets pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

PERSIAN Gorgeous Grand Champion Kittens $800 USD one female/one male 215-295-5444

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AMERICAN BULLDOG PUPS, 5 M, 5 F, 267.408.2092 phillyamericanbulldog.com

Australian Shepherd Pups: blue merle & tri-color, $400, 609-254-2727 Beagle Pups AKC, shots, wormed, vet certified. Call 215-547-6314 BEAGLE PUPS, AKC, SHOW CHAMP LINE, health guarantee, $350, 215-256-1575 Bichon Shih Tzu, farm & children raised only males left, $300. (610)653-8751 Border Collie Puppies AKC Registered $200.00. 215-738-7477 CANE Corso 100% Full Blood puppies 5 M/F, all colors tails docked shots & wormed ICCF Reg parents on premises $500. 215-421-8105. CANE CORSO: 7 month Female, trained, housebroken, Call 267-351-1270 Cane Corso pups, male & female, black & blue, parents on premises, 267-339-9265 CAVALIER King Charles, Pups, Blenheim, 3F, 1M, ACA, $750. 215-353-2303 Cavalier King Charles Spaniels Pups, Retired Adults & Rescues, New Litters Avail, $800-$1500, 215-538-2179 Cavalier Spaniel King Charler Spaniels 610-857-0165 CHIHUAHUA pups, 6M, shots, wormed, $350 available now, (267)918-9987 COCKER SPANIEL Pups, vet checked, 1st shots, M/F $350. (267)242-3408 COTON DE TULEAR PUPPIES: Adorable, Home bred, non-allergetic/shedding, 215-840-0101; www.looeycoton.com DOBERMAN pups, AKC Int. champ Altibello bloodlines, M & F, reds & blacks, ready 8/5, deposits taken 610-698-1379 DOBERMAN SHEPHERD $300 USD 856-252-9118

English Setter Pups Top Champ Field Trial Pedigree, personal hunting dog parents 3 boys avail 2 tri & orange & white pups AKC/FDSB reg. 484-401-6194. mlagsd1@verizon.net ENGLISH SPRINGER SPANIEL Pups, AKC, shots, wormed, good bloodline, familyraised, avail in 1 wk, $900. 717-327-1698 German Shepherd Puppies. ACA reg., farm raised, $475 Cash only 717.529.3830 German Shorthaired Pointer Pup (female) $800. USD 484-371-8326. Golden-doodles Cream$1500 Neg. shots, dewormed, vet check, guaranteed. 570-765-5026

Mini Schnauzer Pups - shots & wormed, salt & peper, $300 and up. 610-960-5471 PEKINGESE PUPS: Gorgeous males & females, $275. 267-243-9526 PITBULL, F, 19 mos, blue, white chest, cropped ears, $250, 215-254-0562 PIT BULLS ears cropped, 1 blk/wht, 8 wks. 1 red nose, 6mo. $250 267.414.9033 PIT BULLS - must see, little beauties, $250, call 215-422-2844 PIT BULL TERRIER RED DEVIL PITS $500.00 USD 609-287-1647 POODLES Std, AKC, blk, M/F, champ parents, shots, ready now. 856-304-7487

Golden Retriever Pups-AKC, family raised, parent on site $550. 610.644.3966 Golden Retriever Pups AKC. M & F, family raised, $550. Call 302-757-0963 Great Dane puppies, AKC Fawn and Brindle colored $1200. Parents on prem ises. 302-764-3184 / 302-379-3423 GREAT DANE Pups Blk Champ bred, AKC reg, all shots, 5 gen ped 443-922-7254-h 785-375-8815-C 1000-1500 Irish Setter pups, AKC, vet chkd, shots, parents our pets, $700+. (302)328-1720 Lab Puppies - 10 wks, 3 black females, 1 chocolate male, vet checked, shots, parents on site, $395. (717)327-5696 L ab Pups 100% GUAR READY NOW MUST COME SEE!!!! $400 215-768-4344 LAB PUPS - AKC, choc., beautiful, raised w/ TLC, 484-494-1302 or 215-490-3245 Lab pups, Choc., AKC, M & F, wormed & dew claws, $550. (609)220-1818 Labradoodle Pups, fam raised, 2nd gen, many colors, S&amp; W. $675. 717-823-1431 LABRADOR RETRIEVER Puppies $500.00 USD. 717-587-2425 LAB (Silver) pups, AKC, family raised, shots, wormed, $700. 609-352-6102 LHASA APSO PUPPIES AKC, CH. line, no shed, vet check, health gaur 610.703.7382 MALTESE Pups, 3 Males, AKC, healthy, ready now, call 215-519-6591 Maltese pups, champ sired, AKC avail., guaranteed, $550 & up. (610)588-5224 MASTIFF AKC Reg. English Mastiff Puppies. $750 USD. 717-572-7699 Mini Doberman Pinscher 8 weeks, black & brown, $350. 215-739-2160 MINI SCHNAUZER - 12 weeks, 1st and 2nd shots + rabies, and wormed, males $375, females $425. 610-960-5471

POODLE: Toy, Tiny, 2 Females, cream, $450/obo, call 609-903-1791 PUGGLE or CHIHUAHUA PUPPIES Cute & playful, $350-$500, 717-333-1376 Rhodesian Ridgeback Puppies for sale 2 boys & 1 girl. Both parents AKC reg. & hlth chkd. $1000. Barbara on 267-242-9381. Rottweiler Puppies: AKC, German, tails clipped, shots, $475, 267-622-1322

Scottish Terrier Pups, AKC, 2 wheatin males, ch. lines, $895. 610-705-3322 SHIH TZU YORKIE HYBRID: 2, 8 week F, lovely, great, temperaments, blk/gold & tan/blk, trained & extremely smart. $800. www.myminisuki.com 215-275-9297 Shih Tzu/Yorkie Mix Puppies, just gorgeous, vet shots, call 610-497-3093 Shorkie-Tzu Pups,papers starting $350, financing avl, cash discount 484.955.6378

BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Mattress Set w/warr, In plastic. $175; Twin $140; 3 pc King $265; Full set $155. Memory foams avl. Del. avl 215-355-3878 BEDROOM - Hand Carved Mahogany, Sleigh Bed, 2 Night stands, dresser, mirror & chest Like new, will deliver. Retail $10,500, Sell for $3,250. 610-299-1804 Bedroom Set brand new queen 5 pc esp. brown $489. Del Avail 215-355-3878 Dining Rm set Handcrafted Mahogany 2-pedestal table, 10 chairs, 2 piece China cabinet & server, like new, will deliver, retail $16,500, Sell $5,995 (610)299-1804 New Mattress Sets $99, Twin, Full or Queen. Delivery avail, 215-307-1950 Sofa & Loveseat, dark brwn, $595, Ent. Ctr, walnut $450. like new 610.563.3855

YORKIE PUPS Vet chk, shots, friendly. Males $595 lgarman@emypeople.net 717-336-4398 YORKIES - reg. Toy Teacup, AKC, Teddy bear faces. $1200. 302-697-3515 YORKIPOO PUPS 9 wk old cuties! Vet chk shots. $495. 717-336-4398 lgarman@emypeople.net

DIABETIC TEST STRIPS & NICOTENE PATCHES/GUM. BUYING. Highest Prices. for pickup Call 215-525-5022

JUNK CARS WANTED Up to $250 for Junk Cars 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903 SAXOPHONES, WWII, SWORDS, related items, Lenny3619@aol 609.581.8290

Contender 32’ CC w/Cabin - 2 Yamahas O/B, Full Elec. Radar Auto Pilot, etc. Ex. Cond. Ask: $89,500 610-304-8307

jobs

BUYING EAGLES SBL’s WANTED - CASH PD

CALL 215-669-1924K EAGLES 2 Season Tickets Section 121, Row 4, 42 yd Line. Best offer over $4900. moriarty1@ymail.com. 941-751-0478 EAGLES SBL’s (2) Section 214 Row 1, $10,900. (302)893-9191

** Bob 610-532-9408 **

HOUSEKEEPER (Experienced) seeks position, reasonable & reliable 267.271.5948

apartment marketplace

$700 & $800

540 N. 52nd St. 1 BR Newly renov. 267-767-6959 lic# 333911 54th St. 1 & 2 BR $600-$625+ utils newly renov, hrdwd & crpt, 215-748-0850

882 N 41st small 1BR $560 2 month sec + 1 month rent 215.300.9382

9xx Belmont Ave 3br apt $850+ elec $1700 mve in,cats welcome 215.779.0363 Parkside Area 1,2,3&5 BR starting $900 newly renovated, new kitchen & bath, Section 8 OK. Call 267-324-3197

Walnut St 1br $550+utils 2br $695+utils renovated, 215-471-1365; 215-663-0128

16xx W. Passyunk 1 BR No pets, 2nd floor, (484)753-2013

Various 1, 2 & 3 BR Apts $725-$850 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

$650

18xx S. 22nd (Pt Breeze area) 2br $700+ lrg 2nd flr apt w/lrg kitch & bath, separate entry, washer optional 215-463-2403

Cameras, Clocks, Toys, Radios, Dolls, Porcelain, Magazines, Military I Buy Anything Old...Except People! Please Call Al 215-698-0787

7xx S 22nd St 1br’s $650-$675 +utils. avail Sept. 1, Quiet, Call 215-370-2898.

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

65th/Woodland area 1 & 2 BR also efficiencies other area. 267.671.7848

55xx Girard Ave. 2 BR $750+ utils $2250 move in, Must See! 215-284-7944

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

62xx Dickens Ave 1Br $575+utils 1st mo. free, 3 month dep. (215)356-2256

52xx Delancey St. Studio $525 clean,1st/last & dep,Sec 8, 215-236-5473

22nd & Washington Studio $645 new kitch, bath & hdwd flrs, 215.292.2176

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

61xx Wheeler St. 1 BR $575+ utils bkyd, storage, bsmnt, 407-304-0434

52nd & Parkside 2 BR $650+utils 3rd flr, $1300 move in. (215)284-7944

WANTED: EAGLES SEASON TICKETS. Top $ paid. Call 800-786-8425

33&45 Records Higher $ Really Paid

59xx Carpenter St 2br Luxury apt $750+ dplx w/6 rooms, prvt porch, 215.747.8505

41st & Girard modern 1 BR $525-$550+ 3 BR homes, $625-$650, 215-431-6677

13xx Locust Studio $1050 all utils inc. fully furnished,cable, gym, 973-768-5362

* * * 215-200-0902 * * *

50th & Baltimore 1BR $550+utils 3rd flr, 3 mo. deposit (215)237-4737

13xx N 61st St 1br $525+utils 1st, last & sec., w/w carpet 267.278.1492

CHILD CARE: Part Time, in Kennett Square, PA home. Experience a plus. Please Email: Drpattym@yahoo.com 2 EAGLES Seat Lic: 50 yard line, Section 120, Row 26, Seats 17 & 18, Best offer, 267-664-8095

apartment marketplace

Paschall Ave 2 & 3 BR 267-251-2749

Hot Tub 2011 model 6 person Still in wrapper. Fully loaded w/warr. & cover Cost $6000 Sell $2750 610-952-0033

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

TOY POODLES - Apricot, 3 females, 9 weeks old, home raised, parents on premises, just gorgeous, $450, 215-695-0888 YORKIE PUP, M, AKC reg., gorgeous teddy bear face, shots, $975, 215-824-3541 YORKIE PUPPIES: home raised, AKC reg. Starting at $650, 215-490-2243 Yorkie Pups - beautiful, small, shots, vet checked, $600. 856-816-3385

Diabetic Test Strips! $$ Cash Paid $$ Local pick-up, Call Martin 856-882-9015

FAIRMOUNT TERRACE APTS. great specials, bring ad for $250 off (215)477-6814

52nd & Montgomery nice 2Br $750+utils 2 mo security+1 mo rent. (484)278-4025

12xx Airdrie St. 1Br $500/mo 1st floor, full basement, 215-228-6078 16xx W Huntingdon 1 BR $425+utils newly renov, $1275 move in 215.559.9289

1100 S 58th St. Studio, 1br & 2br apts newly renov, lic #362013 267-767-6959 2xx S. 50th St. 2br $785+utils 1st flr, newly renovated, (267)243-3518

3349 N 18th St. 1br $550+utils 2nd flr, newly renovated, 215-765-5008

12xx W Allegheny 2-3br Apts large, new renov, c/a, hdwd 267.784.7038 13xx W Allegheny 2BR $625+util Newly renovated, carpet 215-221-6542 18xx Glenwood 1 BR $510+utils 1st flr duplex, credit check 215-878-9309

46xx Broad St. 2br $800+utils 1st, last, sec 215.329.2863 / 215.229.2433

1684 Margaret St. 2BR 4648 Edmund St. 2BR newly renovated, Sec 8 OK 267-257-0144 4630 PENN ST. 1br $525 Efficiency $435 w/w, close to transp. 267-235-5952 46xx Mulberry St. 2BR $575+utils 2nd flr, $1725 mvn,Sec 8 ok267.978.8480 7333 Sackett St. 1br $600+utils remodeled, 1st floor. 215-259-8666 Harrison St. Studio $450 & 1br $525+utils, 917.837.6316 or 215.983.1026

2217 E. Cumberland 2 BR Newly renov. 267-767-6959 lic# 356258 Residential Life: Studio, 1Br & 2Br apts Spacious & Bright Apts near LaSalle Univ. Regional Leasing Office-5600 Ogontz Ave Call or Come in M-F 9a-5p 215.276.5600 1st Month Free to Qualified Applicants

3331 North 16th St. 2BR/1BA $800 A must see!!! Apt., washer and dryer in the unit, dishwasher, front porch, front and back yards, separated electric & gas, security alarm, high ceilings, hardwood floors in living room, carpeted bedrooms. 267-312-6852. 37XX N Sydenham St. Effic. $475 mo & Utils Temple University area. 1st mo & 2 mons dep. App fee 267-496-7971.

4000 Old York Rd 1st fl 2BR, pvt entr, new crpt/paint. $625+. 267-645-9421 N 6th & W Erie Av remod 1st fl 1BR dplx Lg livrm Big yd $600+elec 267-991-5980

12xx Elbridge Street 1br $625 +util. newly remod. Call 866-344-9741 535 McKinley Street (Lawncrest) 1 Br/1Ba $550 mo incl water T&L Realty 215-914-0859 63xx Summerdale Ave. 2br $775+utils spacious, w/d, remod. kitch 215.327.1789

Mayfair 1 BR, 2nd flr $650+ utils washer/dryer, no pets, 215-946-7079 Torresdale & Unruh 2BR/1BA $650 util. Apartment available immediately 215-904-8804 Wissinoming 1 BR $550+ 2nd fl,storage, Seniors welc. 267.456.9118

A1 Nice, well maintained rms, N & W Phila. Starting @ $115/wk 215.858.9898

Broad & Hunting Park, lg furn room, newly renov, prvt BA, w/w, call 215-552-5200 Broad & Lehigh Ave. Vic. $350/mo. No drugs, kitchen priv. Jessy, 215-913-9760 Broad & Olney deluxe furn rms priv ent. $110/wk Sec $200. 215-572-8833 C & Roosevelt Blvd. rm priv house, conv to shops, trans. & Temple Univ. $100/wk, $400 move-in. 856-217-2477, after 2pm

Frankford area rooms $115 to $125/wk newly renov Sec dep req, 215-432-5637 Frankford, furn, no drugs, near El, room in apt, $90/wk+ $250 sec. 215-526-1455 Frankford room for rent $115/wk, $460 move in. (215)221-4737 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (215)548-6083

Germantown fully furn, newly built rms cable, use of house,laundry 215-391-8132

KENSINGTON, Clean Furnished Rooms, $300-$400, 856-465-6807 MT. AIRY (Best Area) $135/week. SSI ok, 215-730-8956 NICETOWN Large Modern Furn. Rooms Private entrance 215-324-1079

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $705-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371

2123 Spencer Efficiency $450+elec private entrance,back patio 267.338.9649 233 W. Queen Ln 2 BR $650 3 month’s rent to move in, 215-223-7547 5220 Wayne Ave. Studio & 1 BR newly rehab, Lic# 507568, 267.767.6959

WARMINSTER Lg 2 BR $799/mo or $899 with FIRST MONTH FREE!! Pets & smoking ok. We work with credit problems. Call for details. Other unit sizes available, call 215-443-9500

COLLINGDALE 1br $600 heat & water incl., Call Dan 610-789-3765 DARBY 1 BR $525 W/W, AC, near transportation & shopping, private entrance. 610-358-2438

52xx Greene St 1 BR+ den $700+util country setting, great trans, 610.287.9857

607 E. Church Lane 1 BR apt nr LaSalle Univ,267.767.6959 lic# 494336 6311 GARDENIA St 1br $650 luxury, 2nd floor. 215-432-0980 Efficiencies & Rooms $550-$600/mo. available August 1st. 267-549-4690 The Fieldview Apts: 705-15 Church Ln Comfortable Living- Historic Germantown 1br $750, 2br $850 Gas,Water,Heat Free Close to Septa,Grocery,Eatery & LaSalle U. Call for appt. 215-276-5600 M-F 9-5

Wayne Junction Studio $475/mo + elec. shared ba, ww $1000 mv in 215-416-6538

66xx Cornelius 2Br $700 newly renov., near transp. 267-981-1018 75xx Mayland St 1br $600/mo. newly renovated, Call (267)335-4080

14xx W. 71st Ave 1 BR $625 utilities included, close to transporation and shopping. Call 215-574-2111

66th Ave near Broad 1br $565 Near trans., avail. immed. 215-990-9709 68xx N. Broad 1 BR $650+ utils 1st floor, spacious, hardwood floors, new kitchen. MUST SEE! Call 215-549-1454 BROAD & GODFREY Lg 2BR $800 w/d, off st parking, newly renov, private storage, Call 215-350-7861

N. Phila Furnished Rooms. Use of Kitchen, No Drugs, $350/mo, 215-924-4078 N Phila Furn, Priv Ent $75 & up, SSI & Vets ok, nr trans. Avl immed 215.763.5565 N. Phila Room & Large Room for rent w/kitchen, cable ready. 910-305-4971 N Phila/W Phila/Logan,pvt ent,$75-$110 wk, pvt BA/kit, $140 wk 609-877-0375 Pennsville, NJ - 1 room, w/ meals & car for $1/mo. Driver’s license & light home cleaning required, 856-514-3218

SW, N, W Move-in Special! $60-$115/wk room sharing avail, SSI ok (215)220-8877 10th & Erie, large furnished room, $350-$400. Call 267-414-4819 1338 W. Toronto St., newly renovated room, $100/wk, utils incl, 302-279-6023 16th & Lehigh - lg room, $340/mo, $450 move in, same flr as BA, 484-343-3278 17th & Erie: Neat & Clean Furnished Rooms, $100/wk., SSI ok, 267-690-0204 2213 W Huntingdon, Studio, pvt BA, Ent & Kit $130/wk, $390 mv in, 267.250.0761 23xx Lehigh, $320-$360/mo, income verification/references req. 267.456.3786 24th & Allegheney Ave: microwave, bed, fridge $100/wk. 7th & Porter: furnished, shared kitch & ba $110/wk (267)228-1143

29xx OXFORD St. - Large Rooms $75 & up. SSI ok, no drugs. 215-240-9499 40xx Old York Rd Efficiency $475/mo. $900 move in req. (267) 456-9403 41xx Old York Rd., lg furn rms, nwly ren, w/w $85-$100/wk, must see 215-552-5200 45th & Lancaster; C & Allegheny; 21st & McKean; 13th & York. (215)290-8702 50th & Girard Newly renovated house clean rooms $100-$120wk (267)784.5671 52nd/Westminster: Near transportation $100+/week, 215-748-7077 53xx Girard Ave: Large clean rooms $90-$110/week. Call (215)917-1091 55th/Thompson furn $115 wk frig micro priv ent $200 security 215-572-8833

SW Philadelphia Room for rent. $250 move in, share kit & bath. 267-251-2749 SW Phila room 58th & Beaumont newly renov. $120 week 347-262-3485 West Phila. lrg rm, $500/mo, access to kitchen & bath. No Drugs. 267-602-7808

W Phila - medium clean room & efficiency avail. Near trans 215-494-8794 W. Phila: Rooms $90/wk & Efficiency, Near transportation, 267-574-3039 W & SW Phila Newly renov rooms, share kitchen & bath, all utils incl. 215.768.7059

homes for rent 18xx S. 5th St. lg 3 BR bi-lvl $950 modern kitch/BA, Sec 8 ok, 215.748.3076

3rd & Jackson vicinity 2br/1ba $1250 rec room, hdwd flrs, exquisite, granite kit, c/a, back patio, must see. 215-292-2176

BUICK CENTURION Convertible 1973 $10k/obo. Good Cond. 215-432-7662

MT. EPHRAIM 2 BR $1545 Liv,Din, Kit, Fin Bsmt, w/d, yd, shed. some utils, 3 season rm, avail now 856.546.6114

resorts/sale Barnegat Light, Long Beach Island, NJ Oceanfront 3BR, Call 973-919-9530 or 973-476-6673. $1,999,500

resorts/rent N. Wildwood 2+br apts from $99/night 2 blocks to bch/boardwalk 609.729.0561

252 N. Simpson Street 3br/1.5ba $850 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

16xx W. Lehigh Ave. 1 BR $550 renovated, near transp, 267-979-4577 2344 W. Oakdale 2 BR $600 newly reno,spacious,h/w flr 215.908.4538 23xx N Gratz St 3br $675+util $2025 to move in. Call 267-591-0021 24th & Lehigh Area 3BR Sect. 8 ok new paint, near transp, (610)337-2244 29XX N. Taney 3BR/1BA $550+utils good credit only,$1650 mvn 201.871.0856 29xx N. Taney St. 3Br $600/mo front porch 215.229.0556; 215-228-6078 3107 N. 28th St. 2 BR $650 newly renov,hrdwd flrs,C/A, 215.908.4538 31xx Chadwick 2br/1ba $650+utils 1mo rent, 2mo sec, rdy 8/1 215-858-7240 31xx N. Stillman 2 BR $675 $675 dep. renov, Sec 8 ok, 215.298.3977

WILDWOOD clean 2-3br, low rates Wkly Cable, pkg, nr beach 609-522-7678

MARGATE, NJ: BAYFRONT NEW CUSTOM BUILD 5br/4.5ba, weekly, monthly or rest of season @ ($30k/obo.) (609)442-5383 N Wildwood 3br/2ba $1600 8/27-9/3 Beachfront condo, w/d, great views, private deck, parking for 2, (609)523-1385 Ocean City : sunny duplex, central A/C, parking, 1 BR: now to Labor Day - $3750; month of Aug. $3250, 732-995-3926

Wildwood Crest 4BR weekly (reduced) No Pets, Close To Beach, 877-207-2743 WILDWOOD, NJ: RUS MAR MOTEL steps to beach, pet friendly, ocean views, renovated rooms. 609-522-0101

4415 N. Orianna St. 3 BR/1.5 BA $750+ remod, w/d,fridge, Sec 8 ok 215.499.2364 Ocean City, MD , condo sleeps 6, 9/310, $2000. Call for details (717)669-5233 52xx Rubicam St. 2br/1ba $800+utils newly renov, small kitchen 215-843-2005

206 E. Upsal St. 3 BR/1 BA $1250 bsmnt,1 car garage,drvwy, 267-872-1164 W Sharpnack St. 4br/1ba Section 8 ok $1000 move in 215-740-4629

Port Richmond 4BR/2BA $1200 fin. bsmt., across from pk 484.300.9699

W. & N. Phila. nice rooms, well maint., kitchen privileges, utils incl 215-350-6626 W Phila 60th & Market vic. vic. $360 mo, $450 move in., SSI ok, 215-313-3562

SKIPPACK 3br/2.5ba $1425+ conv to 73 & village, Call 610-458-8205

18xx Lippincott St. 2 BR $550 back yard, finished bsmnt, 267-242-5615 7xx E Westmoreland 3 BR/1 BA $700 new paint & floors, call 215-833-6673

20xx Kingston 3BR/1 BA $700 2 mo security, 1 mo rent, 267-307-6964 4356 Josephine 3BR/1.5BA $750 Beautiful, hdwd, must see 215-760-0206 43XX Leiper 3br $550/mo+ fridge incl, oil heat. 215-839-6468 Juniata: 40xx Potter St. 3br $850+utils renov, sec. 8 ok, nr trans (267)467-4322

commercial industrial NE Phila: Garage for Rent, 2000 sqft, $800/mo, Call 215-338-1780 W. Mount Airy - Johnson Street Garage 86 W Johnson St. Approx 7500 sqf garage area. Approx. 3500 sqf fenced-in parking. For info call A Jefferson, 215-849-4343

automotive 740 I, 2000, 4 door with sunroof (new body style) really exceptional, regularly serviced, garage kept, senior citizen must SACRIFICE TODAY, $6950, 215-627-1814

Jeep Grand Cherokee 2006 $10,800 98k, loaded, well maint. 302-463-3683 6xx Mayfair St. 3br $850+utils 40xx Maywood 3br $800+ 215.725.7079 Juniata 3 BR $1100 Lawndale, 3 BR, $1100, 215-350-2338 President St 3br/2.5ba twnhouse $1275 new kitch w/granite, w/d (215)904-5292

Grand Marquis Broughm 2004, luxury 4 door with formal roof, custom wheels, premium tires, few original miles, special car for particular buyer (1 of a kind) $7985, Call Mary, 215-922-5342

$275 & Up For Junk Cars Call 215-722-2111

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

Chrysler Town & Country Ltd. ’05 $9975 70k miles, leather, sunroof, nav, power doors, stow & go seats, 302-584-0631

H.D. Sportster 1200 CC 2009 $6500 2K mi, immaculate cond., 610-587-7449

FORD F-150 PICKUP 2003 $9985 Luxury, 4 door crew cab, extended body, full power, a/c, original miles, garage kept, owner sacrifice today, considerably less than book value. 215-922-2165

International Dump Truck 4700 series 1999 $14k/obo. 163k. 215-432-7662

low cost cars & trucks Chevrolet Lumina 1993 $2490 55K orig mi, like new 215-432-4580 Chevrolet SS Impala 2004 $4475 supercharger, moonrf, blk, 267-592-0448 CHEVY BLAZER K5 1989 $5000 black, short body w/4 in. lift, automatic, 4 WD, newer 350 cu. in. V8, 4 new Cooper Discover on or off road 33x12.5x15 tires, deep dish american racing aluminum rims, 4 new Rancho Performance shocks. Needs some work for inspection. (610)872-3800

CHEVY Van 1990 $1650 good cond, 137K, Inspected 215-657-6737 Dodge Caravan 2002 $3500 6 cylinder, full power, 120k miles, Call 215-813-0897 Dodge Neon 1998 $1495 auto,cold a/c,4 cyl,new ins, 215.620.9383 Dodge Spirit 1990 $795 auto, a/c, 4cyl , nw insp, 215.620.9383 FORD E-250 Cargo Van 1998 $3300 149K miles, call 856-577-6463

FORD EXPLORER 2001 $3250 power, like new, red, 135k 215-237-0109 Ford Taurus GL 1989 $995 auto, a/c, 94k, runs exc 215.620.9383

FORD Taurus SEL 2001 $3150 loaded, leather, spoiler, all power, like new, moon roof, Call 215-237-0109 Ford Windstar 1999 $2490 New tires/battery/insp. 215-432-4580 Ford Windstar Lmtd. 1998 $1850 all pwrs, cold a/c, runs new 215.620.9383 GMC SAFARI 1999 $2895 8pass, loaded, insp, like new 267.595.7186 GMC SUBURBAN 1987 $1750/obo custom truck, Hummer body, 22" rims, runs great. 267-970-7428 Nissan Maxima 1999 $4600 loaded, ex cond, very clean 267.401.2765 OLDSMOBILE SLS 1995 $2500 dark green, leather inter, 100k mi, A/C, pwr steering, cruise cntrl, 215-389-3587 PLYMOUTH Acclaim 1994 $1800 new inspection,4 cyl, clean, 610.667.4829 Saab 93 sedan 2002 $2875 black, leather, moonroof. 267-592-0448 Saturn SL 2 1998 asking $1750 4dr, auto, loaded, low mi 215.947.9840 Subaru Legacy AWD S/W 1995 $1850 auto, cold a/c, cln, insp, 215-620-9383

Broad Oaks 2br lndry rm, Summer Special! 215-681-1723

Lower Merion 2br $950+utils beautiful apt, garage, d/w, w/d, xtra storage, convenient commute 610-613-4359

N. Phila - furnished rooms, $100/week Call (267)888-0889

38xx W. Girard Ave 5 BR/2 BA $1200 rear deck, $3600 move in, 215-365-4567 52nd & Haverford 3br $750+utils hdwd flrs, w/d, no pets, (267)258-0759 W. & N. Phila 1br-4br Apts & Houses, $700-$900. 215-878-2857

VERSA CVT 2008 $14,000 2000 miles. 37 MPG. Hatchback. Cobalt. Like new. Warranty. Terry 484-995-0304

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | A U G U S T 4 - A U G U S T 1 0 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

5321 Wayne Ave Efficiency $550 2br $700. avail now (215)776-6277

N. Phila: clean, modern rms, use of kit, no drugs,reasonable rent.215.232.2268

Near Airport 2 BR $800 newly renovated kitchen, granite tops, microwave, new ceramic tile bath & windows, hardwood floors, 215-694-4001

Collegeville 3br/2.5ba twnhse $1350+ no smoking/pets, all appl’s 215-527-5031

classifieds

49XX North Camac St 2br $700/Mo newly renovated, spacious 267-496-4998

62nd St: W. Phila - Furnished & Reno vated $125/week. Call (267)770-6723

11xx S. 53rd St. 3Br $900/month newly renovated, w/w carpet, available immediately, 1st/last/sec, Section 8 OK, application fee. (215)715-4157 26xx S. Bonaffon 3 BR $825+ utils hw flrs,$2475 mvn,avail 8/1 215.365.4567 56xx Litchfield St 3 br/1 ba $700+utils 14xx S. 52nd St 3 br/1.5 ba $700+utils 57xx Delancey (W Phila) 3br $700+utils renovated, near transport. 267-574-6591 62XX Cedar Ave 3BR 1BA $825 plus util Avail Sept 1. Stove, fridge and clothes washer. 856-278-2525 63rd & Woodland Ave 3Br/1Ba, $795/mo front porch, rear yard. Avail immed. 215-850-0099 63XX WHEELER lg 3BR, new paint/ crpt, yard, $775+. 267-645-9421

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