Philadelphia City Paper, September 8th, 2011 by Philadelphia City Paper

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the naked city

SEPTEMBER 23 RD

GATES AT 2:30PM

THE SHINS • CAGE THE ELEPHANT PANDA BEAR • ELBOW • THE HOLD STEADY

THE PAINS OF BEING PURE AT HEART • THE JOY FORMIDABLE

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FRIDAY

COMPANY OF THIEVES • DALE EARNHARDT JR. JR. • YUCK MINIATURE TIGERS • DEAD CONFEDERATE SATURDAY

SEPTEMBER 24 TH

GATES AT 10:30AM

PRETTY LIGHTS • GIRL TALK

FOSTER THE PEOPLE • RAKIM • CULTS • KREAYSHAWN

BLACK THOUGHT & J. PERIOD MIXTAPE • TITUS ANDRONICUS DJ ?UESTLOVE • THE BUDOS BAND • CHARLES BRADLEY MATES OF STATE • ZEE AVI • BLACK LANDLORD ANAMANAGUCHI • PATTY CRASH

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Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa Associate Editor and Web Editor Drew Lazor Arts & Movies Editor/Copy Chief Carolyn Huckabay Associate Editor Josh Middleton Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Cindy Fuchs, K. Ross Hoffman, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Robin Rice, Lee Stabert, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West Editorial Interns Megan Augustin, Matt Cantor, Ryan Carey, Jessica Leung, Esther Martin, Cassie Owens, Massimo Pulcini, Nicole Rossi, Brian Wilensky Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Editorial Designer Alyssa Grenning Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Designer Alicia Solsman Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Jonathan Bartlett, Ryan Casey Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Accounts Receivable Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Advertising Director Eileen Pursley (ext. 257) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260) Kevin Gallagher (ext. 250), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel citypaper.net 123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Letters to the Editor editorial@citypaper.net, Listings Fax 215-8751800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright © 2011, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

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Naked City ...................................................................................6 Cover Story ..............................................................................13 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................22 The Agenda ..............................................................................39 Food & Drink ...........................................................................49 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY EVAN M. LOPEZ DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

According to state and federal special education regulations, annual public notice to parents of children who reside within a school district is required regarding child find responsibilities. School districts, intermediate units and charter schools are required to conduct child find activities for children who may be eligible for services via Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. For additional information related to Section 504/Chapter 15 services, the parent may refer to Section 504, Chapter 15, and the Basic Education Circular entitled Implementation of Chapter 15. Also, school districts are required to conduct child find activities for children who may be eligible for gifted services via 22 Pa Code Chapter 16. For additional information regarding gifted services, the parent may refer to 22 PA Code Chapter 16. If a student is both gifted and eligible for Special Education, the procedures in IDEA and Chapter 14 shall take precedence.

Consent School entities cannot proceed with an evaluation, or with the initial provision of special education and related services, without the written consent of the parents. For additional information related to consent, please refer the Procedural Safeguards Notice which can be found at the PaTTAN website, www.Pattan. net. Once written parental consent is obtained, the district will proceed with the evaluation process. If the parent disagrees with the evaluation, the parent can request an independent education evaluation at public expense.

Program Development This notice shall inform parents throughout the school district, intermediate unit, and charter school of the child identification activities and of the procedures followed to ensure confidentiality of information pertaining to students with disabilities or eligible young children. In addition to this public notice, each school district, intermediate unit, and charter school shall publish written information in the handbook and on the web site. Children ages three through twenty one can be eligible for special education programs and services. If parents believe that the child may be eligible for special education, the parent should contact the appropriate Regional Office or Charter School Principal identified at the end of this public notice. Children age three through the age of admission to first grade are also eligible if they have developmental delays and, as a result, need Special Education and related services. Developmental delay is defined as a child who is less than the age of beginners and at least 3 years of age and is considered to have a developmental delay when one of the following exists: (i) The child’s score, on a developmental assessment device, on an assessment instrument which yields a score in months, indicates that the child is delayed by 25% of the child’s chronological age in one or more developmental areas. (ii) The child is delayed in one or more of the developmental areas, as documented by test performance of 1.5 standard deviations below the mean on standardized tests. Developmental areas include cognitive, communicative, physical, social/ emotional and self-help. For additional information you may contact Elwyn SEEDS at (215) 222-8054. Evaluation Process Each school district, intermediate unit, and charter school has a procedure in place by which parents can request an evaluation. For information about procedures applicable to your child, contact the school, which your child attends. Telephone numbers and addresses can be found at the end of this notice. Parents of preschool age children, age three through five, may request an evaluation in writing by addressing a letter to Elwyn SEEDS at 4025 Chestnut Street, 2nd Floor, Philadelphia, PA 19104.

Elwyn SEEDS 4025 Chestnut Street, 2nd Floor Philadelphia, PA 19104 (215) 222-8054

CHARTER SCHOOLS Please contact the principal of your child’s charter school.

Conﬁdentiality of Information: School districts, intermediate units and charter schools maintain records concerning all children enrolled in the school, including students with disabilities. All records are maintained in the strictest confidentiality. Your consent, or consent of an eligible child who has reached the age of majority under State law, must be obtained before personally identifiable information is released, except as permitted under the Family Education Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). The age of majority in Pennsylvania is 21. Each participating agency must protect the confidentiality of personally identifiable information at collection, storage, disclosure, and destruction stages. One official at each participating agency must assume responsibility for ensuring the confidentiality of any personally identifiable information. Each participating agency must maintain, for public inspection, a current listing of the names and positions of those employees within the agency who have access to personally identifiable information. For additional information related to student records, the parent can refer to the Family Education Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) This notice is only a summary of the Special Education services, evaluation and screening activities, and rights and protections pertaining to children with disabilities, children thought to be disabled, and their parents. For more information or to request evaluation or screening of a public or private school child contact the responsible school entity listed below. For preschool age children, information, screenings and evaluations requested, may be obtained by contacting Elwyn SEEDS.

SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PHILADELPHIA PARENT AND FAMILY RESOURCE CENTERS Parent and Family Resource Center The School District Education Center 440 N. Broad Street, 1st Floor Philadelphia, PA 19130 (215) 400-7272

Parent and Family Resource Center-Northwest Leeds Middle School 1100 E. Mt. Pleasant Avenue, Room 8 Philadelphia, PA 19150 (215) 248-6687

Parent and Family Resource Center Central East and East Ramonita Rivera Building 2603 N. 5th Street, 4th Floor Philadelphia, PA 19133 (215) 291-5696

Parent and Family Resource Center- North Grover Washington Jr. Middle School, 201 East Olney Avenue, 2nd Floor Philadelphia, PA 19120 (215) 456-0458

Parent and Family Resource Center-Southwest 6900 Greenway Avenue Philadelphia, PA 19142 (215) 727-5920

Parent and Family Resource Center-Northeast 4101 Chalfont Drive Philadelphia, PA 19154 (215) 281-2645

Parent and Family Resource Center- South 427 Monroe Street Philadelphia, PA 19147 (215) 351-7604 Parent and Family Resource Center - West 3543 Fairmount Avenue Philadelphia, PA 19104 (215) 823-5530

The school entity or charter school will not discriminate in employment, educational programs, or activities based on race, color, national origin, age, sex, handicap, creed, marital status or because a person is a disabled veteran or a veteran of the Vietnam era. No preschool, elementary or secondary school pupil enrolled in a school district, Intermediate Unit, or charter school program shall be denied equal opportunity to participate in age and program appropriate instruction or activities due to race, color, handicap, creed, national origin, marital status or financial hardship.

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PRESCHOOL (Ages 3 to 5)

Once the evaluation process is completed, a team of qualified professional and parents determine whether the child is eligible. If the child is eligible, the individualized education program team meets, develops the program, and determines the educational placement. Once the IEP team develops the program and determines the educational placement, school district staff, intermediate unit staff, or charter school staff will issue a notice of recommended educational placement/prior written notice. Your written consent is required before initial services can be provided. The parent has the right to revoke consent after initial placement.

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Notice to Parents

the naked city

Annual Public Notice of Special Education Services and Programs, Services for Gifted Students, and Services for Protected Handicapped Students

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the naked city

naked

the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ - 2]

A thief steals a briefcase containing $30,000 in Northern Liberties. “My lunchbox!” says Bart Blatstein.

[ -1 ]

Contract negotiations between the Catholic school teachers and the Archdiocese of Philadelphia are not going well. Says bishop, “These days we’re all about screwing children indirectly.”

[ +1 ]

An online poll by ESPN names Chickie’s & Pete’s the top sports bar in North America. Calling to mind Bell Curve’s most trusted adage, that there is no better barometer than an online poll.

[ -2 ]

Mayor Michael Nutter is booed while speaking at the Labor Day parade. Calling to mind Bell Curve’s second most trusted adage, that the collective knee-jerk reactions of large groups of people also makes for a fine barometer.

S E P T E M B E R 8 - S E P T E M B E R 1 4 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

[ -2 ]

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city

[ -5 ]

Residents of a block in West Oak Lane say they’re under siege by raccoons and have received little help from the city and the SPCA. “It’s not that they’re not cute,” says block captain. “It’s just that I’ve got whole a lot of rabies right now and I kinda want to bite your face.” According to the Daily News, there have been several clashes between cops and witnesses recording the cops with their cell phones, even though it’s legal. “We decide what’s the law,” says spokesman Officer Angry. “I’m right about that, aren’t I?”

[ -5 ]

A Temple student pulls a gun on a would-be mugger, leading to a shootout in which both are injured. And thanks to a new scholarship program, one might be the other’s R.A. as soon as next year.

[ +3 ]

A new poll shows that half of Pennsylvania residents now support gay marriage. And the other half is pretty old and dying all the time.

[ +3 ]

After getting carded and denied entrance into a club in Manayunk, a 19-year-old man injures himself by falling 15 feet into the Schuylkill while trying to sneak around the back. “Yes, there is a me,” says God.

This week’s total: -10 | Last week’s total: -7

WATCH THIS SPACE: Bookspace’s Ben Orlock and Mike DiProspero in their Fishtown store. NEAL SANTOS

[ entrepreneurship ]

NOT BY THE BOOK Bookspace tried to change the typical bookstore formula — until the city took notice. By Anjali Tsui

ookspace, housed in a dusty warehouse on Frankford Avenue, was reinventing the typical bookstore formula. Instead of hosting just an occasional poetry reading or lecture, Bookspace flipped the equation, using the space for performances that drew customers. It was gaining a reputation as a venue for events — everything from weekly jazz jams to circus performances to African percussion. In late July, the wizard rock band Harry and the Potters performed a benefit concert there. But not anymore, at least for the foreseeable future, after the fire marshal shut down Bookspace’s ability to host events as of last Friday. It’s still open as a bookstore, but the creative business plan has come to a screeching halt. Bookspace started in 2002 as the result of owner Ben Orlock’s dream to set up an online business. “It was nice that it was books, but it could have been anything,” admits Orlock. A year later, he teamed with buddy Mike DiProspero to find books and list them on sites such as Amazon, eBay and Half.com. They moved their growing inventory several times before finding a storage space in a converted elevator factory. Then, when online sales slowed in 2008, the duo turned their warehouse into an eclectic, chaotic, 11,000-square-foot storefront.

How many books they have, no one really knows. Orlock estimates 100,000. Most are stacked on gray shelves, but others can be found sitting on a wooden table, leaning on an abandoned piano or balanced on the hood of a DiProspero’s old car, one of two parked inside. DiProspero recalls the bibliophiles who showed up early on expecting categories, price tags and a section of rare books. On the other hand, some people “thought we were more of a flea-markettype deal,” he explains. “They would come in and want to buy books for a dollar. I would just say, ‘Look, we’re not a thrift store.’” In recent years, bookstores nationwide have been struggling, whether chains like Borders or small, independent operations. In 2008, financial woes threatened to close Robin’s Books, the city’s oldest bookstore, but the owners resuscitated the business by renting out its storefront on South 13th Street, moving operations upstairs and expanding their events calendar under the Moonstone Arts umbrella. Orlock and DiProspero decided to make their own changes. After two years of the bookstore formula, they set up a stage to host musicians, trapeze performers and other artists. But the radical measures Bookspace took to stay afloat didn’t fly with the city. “We’re kind of in limbo,” says DiProspero. “We need a special assembly permit to host events. We need to define what exactly that means.” In the meantime, he adds, “The good thing is the bookstore is still open. We’ve been selling books for the past nine years and we just started hosting events. We can switch gears.” (editorial@citypaper.net)

“We just started hosting events”

the naked city

[ a million stories ]

✚ FLASH DANCE Legs fly out, swing under and then around torsos before the pretzel-shaped forms freeze upside down — the one side mocking their opponents in classic battle form. “Ladies and gentlemen: This is not a flash mob,” a judge yells out to the crowd. And it’s not the racial violence that has plagued Philly schools, either. As a matter of fact, “This is young people in Philly supporting Philly,” the judge announces. It’s a breakdance competition in Rittenhouse Square, its contestants made up mostly of local high school students: black, Asian and white. A big crowd assembles to watch the tournament, which is part of the End of Summer Jam, explains David Seng, a senior at Bok Technical High School. “Everyone’s coming from all over Philadelphia,” Seng notes. “We started in Love Park, but people thought we were a flash mob and kicked us out.” By “people,” he clarifies, he means the Philadelphia Police Department. A few hours later, a horde of naked cyclists comes through the square for the annual Philly Naked Bike Ride. God bless all those people who don’t mind their butt cheeks being plastered across —Daniel Denvir philly.com’s highest-trafficked photo gallery.

✚ NOT GOING SWIMMINGLY Say that all a totally hypothetical Philadelphia guy (or gal) wanted to do this past weekend was to take in a nice, pastoral scene from the comfort of a warm, aquatic dip: go inner-tubing, say, down the relatively nearby and exquisite Delaware Water

Gap. Say he’d already made the two-and-a-half-hour drive to

Stroudsburg, Pa., in pursuit of this goal — when he realized that the Delaware River, the whole river, was “closed” due to high water levels resulting from Hurricane Irene, as was the case this past Friday. But this man’s (or woman’s) itch to swim was strong: so strong, let’s say, that he decided to try his luck hiking a few miles through the Delaware Water Gap National Recreation Area to Catfish Pond, a scenic watering hole in which swimming is allowed — only to discover that the park, too, was closed, except for the small portion comprising the Worthington State Forest. That forest is home to Sunfish Pond, a deep glacial lake near the Appalachian Trail, in which swimming is prohibited. Say he marched on anyway, a couple of hours up the un-peopled trail, arrived at the pond and, seeing no one around, said, “To hell with it!” and, flinging off every shred of clothing, began wading into the quiet, calm, warm water as the setting sun bathed the ancient pond in deep yellows and pinks — when suddenly a “Hey there” sounded from above, the voice adding, “Don’t worry, I’m not coming down any farther.” It would likely have belonged not to a park ranger, as the hypothetical man might have feared, but a New Jersey “Ridge Runner,” one of three volunteer caretakers of that state’s portion of the Appalachian Trail. “I’m sorry to have spoiled your afternoon,” the kindly bearded man might have said almost apologetically. “One person swimming here probably wouldn’t hurt anything, but imagine if everyone did it.” It would have been, we suspect, a long, dark trudge back down the path. —Isaiah Thompson

Women on the Fringe JAMES J. KELLY FLICKR: JKEL

By Isaiah Thompson

SCOOPS ³ BESIDES THE SEA-BATTERED cap your own Man Overboard! dons to write this column, I’ve worn a few other hats at City Paper this past year, including, until this week, that of “news editor,” which title I’m vacating for now to focus on reporting. Don’t try to steer the ship and watch for white whales at the same time, say I. But before I get back to scrubbing the deck, one last “editorial” thought: Last week, staff writer Daniel Denvir published a story citing anonymous sources who allege that at least three members of the School District communications office spent taxpayer time orchestrating what amounted to a personal PR campaign for former Superintendent Arlene Ackerman. District officials neither affirmed nor denied these allegations. We felt it an important story, and the good people at philly.com, the website for both the Inquirer and Daily News(and with which CP has a content-sharing partnership), apparently agreed, featuring it prominently. On Saturday, the Daily News cited Denvir’s story in its own reporting, noting that Councilman Bill Green has called for an investigation. Not so the Inquirer, which — amid weeks of hard-hitting School District stories by a phenomenal reporting team — has so far reported neither the allegations nor the call for investigation, which means, for its most dedicated readers, that the news simply never happened. It wouldn’t be the first time the Inquirer eschewed following a story generated outside the walls of its Broad Street fortress. In April, CP intern Emily Apisa reported that La Salle professor Jack Rappaport had hired strippers for a school lecture. It was a heck of a scoop — “strippers” and “professor” in the same headline! — and went viral immediately. Apisa’s story had also cited anonymous sources — meaning other news outlets would have to credit her reporting or leave the story be. The Daily News chose the former, citing Apisa’s work in a follow-up. But the Inquirer ignored it (though an Inquirer reporter did ask Apisa to share sources), waiting several days before running an unusual article about how La Salle University’s student newspaper had been working on a “more authoritative” version than ours. Maybe it’s just that ol’ spirit of competition, which once drove the city’s seven morning and six evening newspapers to be at one another’s throats — back, that is, in 1892. But in these lean times, who wins in that fight anymore? I suggest the Inquirer lower its drawbridge: We make good news here — and you’ll just love those page hits. ✚ Isaiah Thompson is now scrubbing the deck. Reach him at isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net.

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photostream ³ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

manoverboard!

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[ wanted to take in a nice, pastoral scene ]

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A Chicago program that has former shooters working to stop the violence comes to Philly. By Daniel Denvir

“

CeaseFire talked to the victims at the hospital. police about illegal activities: They are solely fixated on stopping the shooting. “Ninety-nine percent of the time, it’s someone of color, and someone young. But is it any wonder?” asks Kwesi, pointing to the grassy lots that mar half the block. “That lot used to be all houses.” CeaseFire cannot ensure adequate funding for poor people’s schools, decent health care or, most importantly, good jobs. But the Chicago program has succeeded in stopping some shootings. “If our people were killed by someone else, we would be rioting in the streets,” yelled Kwesi. “But when we are killing each other, we’re used to it.” Pastor Larry Patrick of Redeem Baptist Church led the group in prayer before they left to go home. “I’m going to be here week after week,” said Patrick. “I’m not going anywhere.” (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net)

feedback From our readers

LOW GRADES Our report on how former Superintendent Arlene Ackerman used the School District’s communications staff as her personal PR team [“Ackerman’s Message Machine,” Daniel Denvir, online Aug. 30, in print Sept. 1] brought a slew of comments to citypaper.net. Irishlaxer put it simply: “Does this surprise anyone?” And etbarksdale noted, “I hope the money [Ackerman] is supposed to get is revoked.”Tholonet pointed out that Ackerman “dared the School Reform Commission to fire her — because she knew they couldn’t. … It would have been easier for them to force Ackerman to resign or to fire her because then there would be no contract to worry about and no public to answer to about funds for the contract buyout.However, they had no ‘cause’ to fire her and she wasn’t going to resign. … Thus the dare.” A post to our Naked City blog about reactions to the Ackerman revelations [“Councilman Bill Green calls for investigation of Ackerman message machine,” Daniel Denvir, Sept. 1] prompted braindrains to write, “This is absolutely an appropriate recommendation and it should be as aggressive as education is important. There are massive inadequacies in the School District, and the first priority in fixing them should be cutting the type of fat epitomized by Ackerman’s management.” WHEELING AND DEALING Our story about people gambling away at SugarHouse Casino as hurricane Irene approached [“Safe Bets,” A Million Stories, Isaiah Thompson, Sept. 1] caused Paul Boni to note how casinos manage to keep patrons on the premises for as long as possible. For example, “A casino’s favorite tactic is to have a sweepstakes contest. Marketed heavily, tickets are sold early but the drawing occurs much later, requiring the ticket holder to stick around for a few hours.” HANDLING THE TRUTH And one last salvo in the comments about our 9/11 Truth Movement cover story [“The Truth About Truthers,” Patrick Rapa, Aug. 25] comes from Eric Hamell: “WTC7 wasn’t hit by a plane, but it was hit by a falling piece of one of the other towers. And you won’t see it on Inside Job sites, but there’s a photo showing the huge (12-story) plume of smoke from the resulting fire that brought it down. This and lots more real info can be found at ae911truth.info (‘Answers to Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth’s Questions’) and at debunking911.com.”

✚ We welcome and encourage your feedback. Mail letters to Feedback, City Paper, 123 Chestnut St., 3rd Floor, Phila., PA 19106. E-mail editorial@citypaper.net or comment online at citypaper.net. Submissions may be edited for clarity and space.

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his past Tuesday, two young men were shot,” a 25-year-old man shouted into a megaphone on the corner of 22nd and Berks streets in North Philly, the site of the violence. “We’re here to pay respects, and show that we will no longer tolerate these shootings. We have a problem in the city of Philadelphia. And the problem is senseless shooting and killing. My name is Brandon Jones, and I used to be a big part of the problem.” Indeed, Jones has finished serving four years in prison for attempted murder. The one-time shooters testifying at the vigil are part of CeaseFire, a path-breaking violenceinterruption program pioneered in Chicago that is now being piloted in Philly’s combined 22nd and 23rd Police Districts — a stretch of North Philadelphia, running from 10th to 33rd and Lehigh to Poplar, that suffers more shootings than any other city neighborhood. The Chicago program has drawn national attention, and a documentary, The Interrupters, premières this weekend (see review on p. 23). CeaseFire conceives of violence as a disease whose transmission can be stopped, and in Philly, Temple University’s School of Medicine runs the program. Though violent crime has declined nationwide over the past two decades, poor black and Latino neighborhoods continue to suffer from rampant gun violence. Indeed, CeaseFire programs are also under way in the most violent neighborhoods of other U.S. cities, including Baltimore, Brooklyn, New Orleans and East St. Louis. For this past Friday’s vigil, a dozen community activists stood on the corner with the former felons, holding signs that read “Stop Shooting People” and passing out brochures. “Do something, do something,” shouted Almira Stansbury, a 65-year-old recovering drug addict who walked over to show her support. “I think that some people might be afraid. I think that some people are angry and sad. And I think some people just don’t care.” A few heads popped out of rowhouse windows to listen, but most residents, if they were home, stayed behind shut doors. “We were hoping to get neighbors out,” said Atiba Kwesi, aka Jesse Johnson, who, along with other North Philly activists City Paper recently profiled [“Safe Haven,” Daniel Denvir, July 21], now works for CeaseFire. Kwesi was released nearly 20 months ago after 27 years behind bars for armed robbery. “But this is a rough block.” Suddenly, the family of one of the victims emerged from a house halfway down the block and watched. The bullets that didn’t pierce the

[ the naked city ]

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PART OF THE SOLUTION

bodies of the two young men flew into a house full of small children, one of whom was now outside. Carrie Gardner, a CeaseFire volunteer from Redeem Baptist Church, walked over to explain the city services available. CeaseFire had already met the victims. “We talked to them at the hospital,” said Terry Starks, who has served his own time. “One got shot in the legs, another got shot six times.” One day’s shooting victim is at high risk of becoming tomorrow’s shooter, so CeaseFire meets everyone they can as soon as possible — usually when they’re still lying in a hospital bed. The two boys have agreed to not retaliate, said Starks, and will become CeaseFire clients. In Philadelphia, police have community-relations problems ranging from incidents of excessive force to a “stop snitching” culture. CeaseFire is not trying to find the killer and bring him to justice, nor do they inform

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Drinking to Cope? The Treatment Research Center is currently conducting a clinical research study in which participants will receive naltrexone (an FDAapproved medication) or placebo (inactive medication). For further information, or an eligibility screening, call 215-222-3200, ext. 170.

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Prostate Cancer Screenings The Kimmel Cancer Center at Jefferson and Prostate Health International’s Gary Papa Run are offering free prostate screenings as part of a research program. Prostate cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death among men. Screening is important because prostate cancer shows no symptoms in its earliest stages.

Baseline screening is recommended for all men age 35 years and older. Free screenings, offering a blood test for prostate specific antigen (PSA), testosterone and cholesterol, and a digital rectal exam will take place at the following two locations: • Wednesday, September 21, 2011, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., at the Kimmel Cancer Center –Bodine Building • Wednesday, September 28, 2011, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., at the Radiation Oncology Pavilion at Jefferson’s Methodist Hospital Registration is required. To register for your free screenings, or for more information, call 1-800-JEFF-NOW.

www.JeffersonHospital.org/prostate

1- 800 -JEFF - NOW

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1604 West Rt. 70 Cherry Hill, NJ (1/4 mile East of the Garden State Pavilions) 856-665-1911 Tues/Thurs 10-6 Wed/Fri 10-8 Sat 10-5 Sun 12-4 (beginning October 2nd) Closed Mondays www.uniqueinteriors.com

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PICKUP POINT: The rescue mission Sunday Breakfast was the spot where several homeless men found the potato truck. PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

BETTING THE

FARM

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hyperbolic one. While Evans was not ñ acharged with slavery per se, another recent case, that of Ramiro and Juan Ramos, contractors who managed a team of 700 farm workers and kept them on the premises with death threats, were successfully prosecuted in 2004 for exactly that: slavery. Those running the North Carolina farm are quick to deny any such exploitation, presenting the operation as a chance for down-and-out men to pull their lives together. Before he boarded, I had asked Rideout to observe his surroundings on his summer journey to North Carolina and report back upon his return. What he and several other homeless men found paints a very different picture.

■ GEORGE WOODS FARMS comprises more than 2,700 acres of potatoes and is located, as Rideout later put it, in “the middle of nowhere” — at least three miles from the main road. He and four other homeless men who had traveled to the farm gave accounts of life on the farm, many of them jarringly reminiscent of allegations in the Evans case. The men — some 80 per season, by vari-

ous accounts — are housed in shacks located within walking distance of their work, which consists of stuffing potatoes into sacks from a conveyor belt and stacking the bagged potatoes into boxes that are then fork-lifted onto tractor-trailers. Each day’s work is marked by the sounding of a horn. Most of the workers, said the men, were “homeless, drug addicted, also dealing with some mental-health issues,” said “Charles,” who asked not to be identified and is now living in a Philadelphia shelter. “There might be 10 to 15 from Philly, 10 to 15 from Jersey, Baltimore, all the surrounding big cities,” added “John,” another man who asked that his name be withheld, who says he went to the farm after losing his job several years ago. Some of the men who’ve been to the farm describe sleeping on beds. Cedric Ellis, another homeless man who went to the farm, says he slept on a shack floor, with 20 other men. The work, they all agree, is brutal. Charles said he labored 14-hour days in hot, sticky weather. Rideout described working 11- to 15-hour days on the potato farm, moving 50pound bags of potatoes. “The work individually isn’t that bad,” he said. “How long we did it? That’s what really got to you.” For their troubles, most of the workers expected only to be paid North Carolina’s

minimum wage of $7.25 per hour — though John said he was promised as much as $10 per hour before he arrived. But the minimum wage, he and all the men interviewed for this story said, proved an elusive goal. Being miles from the nearest road, the bare necessities — especially meals — were hard to come by, and aside from farm-sold food, an apparently informal “company store” maintained on the premises charged exorbitant rates. Other niceties — beer, cigarettes — were astoundingly expensive: “You’ll be sweaty and drink cold beer, but it costs $7 a bottle down there,” said Ellis. After nearly two months of hard labor, Ellis said he saved only $160. “It’s designed to keep you broke if you’re weak.” When workers were low on cash, Ellis said, the “company store” was only too happy to extend credit, which meant some laborers wound up not only poor but actually in debt after weeks of toil in the potato fields — a system that forced workers to keep on working. “The men know that if they’re in debt, they aren’t allowed to leave until they’ve worked it off,” explained Charles. George Woods Farms officials and Rideout deny that a “company store” even exists. And, according to all of the men interviewed, cigarettes and beer weren’t the only luxury items the camp had to offer. A key part of life on the farm, said the men, is drug use.

“IF THEY’RE IN DEBT, THEY AREN’T ALLOWED TO LEAVE ” ■

Former workers said drugs, notably crack cocaine, were available on the property. Of the five men who talked about their experience, all except Rideout, who found lodging outside the farm, saw rampant drug use there. Four of the men — interviewed independently of one another — claimed that drugs, including crack cocaine, were not only available on the premises but could be purchased, on credit, via the “company store.” Crack users would wander into crop fields and “smoke their brains out,” described Charles. He said for many the situation was so bad that after a while >>> continued on page 16

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BETTING THE

FARM

weren’t even working for money. ñ addicts “You’re working to get crack,” he said. “It’s like slave labor.” Charles added that “you can even get sex on credit.” Prostitutes, he said, would come by on Saturdays, after workers were paid, and collect for those in debt. Asked whether he considered the situation exploitation or, as was ruled in the Ramos case, slavery, John replied: “Nobody puts a gun to your head.”

■ BOTH George Woods Farms owner Jimmy

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Harrell and his labor contractor, Brenda Moore (sister of Dolly Moore), deny accusations of worker mistreatment and illegal activities on the property. Harrell, who serves on the executive committee of the United States Potato Board, sits on the board of directors of the North Carolina Potato

Association and is chairman of the North Carolina Agricultural Finance Authority, says his involvement with the farm workers is indirect and that he has never received a single formal complaint of abuse. “We try to treat people fairly — they have a nice bed,” he said, adding, “I just pay the contractor a flat rate. … I do know that [Brenda Moore] gets the job done.” Harrell, too, denied there ever was a “company store” on the farm. As for hiring homeless workers, “It’s better than the street,” he argued. Moore, who’s worked in the potato business since she was a teenager, explained that the litany of allegations levied by the men can be attributed to the management of a former contractor, who she said died in 2000 — though all the men interviewed for this story had been to the farm since 2005. She denied drugs, prostitution and the existence of a “company store.”

■ FOR the 4,000-some labor camps across North Carolina, the state’s Department of Labor has only seven employees inspect-

EXPLOITATION OR SLAVERY? “NOBODY PUTS A GUN TO YOUR HEAD ” ■

ing for working violations, according to Melinda Wiggins, executive director of Student Action with Farmworkers in North Carolina, who is herself the daughter and granddaughter of sharecroppers. She and her team visit labor camps across North Carolina to interview migrant workers and encourage them to stand up for their rights. They also pressure federal and state authorities to >>> continued on page 18

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BETTING THE

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FARM

down on housing and labor violations. Beyond ñ crack the lack of resources, she says, is a lack of will by

HEADED SOUTH: In June, several homeless men boarded this white van headed for a North Carolina farm. PHOTO BY

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KRISTEN MOSBRUCKER

federal and state officials whom she says have been heavily influenced by the agriculture lobby. In 2008, the Charlotte Observer reported that campaign donors for the Department of Labor commissioner, Cherie K. Berry, had systematically reduced fines for labor law violations for certain companies. The Observer investigation found that companies that donated to the commissioners’ campaign saw a reduction of 70 percent in their citation fines. As a result, Wiggins says most companies in North Carolina don’t take Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) inspections seriously. “They consider it a cost of doing business; they can just budget to break the law,” she says. “We are fighting against a lot of power. “Our whole agricultural system in this country is based on a system where land owners, agricultural >>> continued on page 20

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BETTING THE

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and now agribusiness controls ñ employers every aspect of a worker’s life,” she says. “It’s a situation ripe for abuse.” While federal fines for violations concerning housing and general living conditions at a temporary labor camp are steep, ranging from $1,000 to $10,000 and up to three years in prison, no such action has ever been taken at the potato farm. According to North Carolina court records, Brenda Moore was charged in 1995 with “communicating threats” to one Eugene O. Bell. She was found not guilty. She says the whole case was a mistake. Her company was also found in violation of OSHA standards, twice for restricting kitchen access and once for unsafe handling of chemicals on the premises. Camden County sheriff Tony Perry acknowledged having heard of complaints by farm workers, but said he has never investi-

gated them, adding, somewhat inexplicably, that he had “no jurisdiction” over the farm in the county he polices. Locally, few in or outside of the homeless services world seem to know about the truck at all. Phone calls to various shelters and homeless advocates yielded few responses. “Doughnut Man” David Shively, who alerted me to the existence of the potato truck in the first place, says he’s seen many men gamble on going down there — and has wired money to North Carolina twice to help men buy return tickets to Philadelphia. He believes they are being exploited. “It’s not right,” he says. “I hate to see people get on that truck.”

■ A COUPLE of weeks ago, I met with Rideout, who had recently come back from the farm. He had a new plaid shirt, new jeans, a new silver necklace and a heartshaped balloon animal in his hands. “It’s for my son,” he explained. Of all the various accounts of life on the

“IT’S NOT RIGHT. I HATE TO SEE PEOPLE GET ON THAT TRUCK ” ■

farm collected for this story, Rideout’s was the least dark, possibly because he managed to find lodging outside the camp. After a few months of labor, he managed to make about $1,500. He stayed away from drugs and out of trouble. Still in his early 20s, he sees the experience as an “adventure.” Rideout is, however, still homeless and out of work. If things don’t improve, he said, he plans to be waiting again next June for the potato truck. Maybe, he said, he’ll bring his nephew this time. (editorial@citypaper.net)

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artsmusicmoviesmayhem

icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ THE OTHER NIGHT I was watching Curb Your

Enthusiasm and marveling at how well Larry David honed in on the mix of pleasure and torture that was the music of the Mr. Softee ice cream truck. It got me thinking about how the recent rush of food trucks, could benefit from better music, or any music, really. Throw some Xavier Cugat on Guapos Tacos, and Demi Lovato for Sweet Box,f’rinstance. Matthew “Feldie” Feldman answered my call to arms. Last week’s Icepack Illustrated dropped the exclusive on how jazzbo Feldman, while in the midst of building his Lucky Old Souls live venue-restaubar at 17th and McKean, was readying a food truck starting late September. I said then that the LOS truck should, of course, have a soundtrack. Oh Feldie? “LOS is about keeping it real and human and avoiding all that’s generic and mass-produced, so the truck will be no different,” he says. “There’ll be speakers mounted on top of the truck.” Dig that. ³ When TMZ.com reported that Revelations Perfume sued Prince over the 3121 scent they had crafted for the Purple one, that he never lived up to his promotional end of the deal and that an NYC court ruled in favor of Revelations with accumulated damages estimated at $3,948,798.58 (the judge decides Nov. 1), the site missed an important element: Revelations’ Larry and Carol Couey have Havertown roots and their company is Philly-based, with a development office on Veit Road and a 35,000-square-foot packaging and assembly blocks away. Don’t fuck with Philly, Mr. Rogers Nelson.(Other local TMZ stuff includes a report that Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s Thesy Surface has a stalker emailing her nasty photos of an “animated finger spelling the c-word” in blood. Urgh.) ³ The Essential New York Times Cookbook’s Amanda Hesser and her co-creators at the swell food52.com have a book coming out in later October with the author tour more than likely stopping at Delicatessen. Could this have anything to do with the word that food personality and Delicatessen jackie-of-all-trades Ali Waks has recipes in the new food52 tome? Hoping. ³ Kudos to PhillyFilmGirl,who spotted The Silver Linings Playbook location scouts (Weinstein/David O. Russell/Bradley Cooper) in Ridley Park before anyone. Icepack spoke to local film über-boss Sharon Pinkenson weeks ago about getting the film shoehorned into production before year’s end. Expect Coop in the Park in October. ³ Congratulate slide guitar god Mike “Slo-Mo” Brenner for starting an Indian music project involving travel to Kolkata and recording with Debashish Bhattacharya,a master Hindustani slide guitarist. Slo-Mo was fast this time — he got allotted donations from Kickstarter a week before the deadline. Twang. ³ As always, Ice gets Illustrated at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

THREE’S COMPANY: (L-R) The Speed of Surprise!, WHaLE OPTICS, The Method Gun. PETE ENGLISH, KEVIN MONKO, ALAN SIMONS

➡ LIVE ARTS/FRINGE REVIEWS (2011)

THE WEEK THAT WAS Highlights and lowlights from the festivals so far. ³ DARK COMEDY If your problem with improv comedy is that part where somebody is suddenly like, “I’m a Martian,” and you’re looking at him like no you are not, I can see your wallet chain, then you might wanna check out Dark Comedy.This Philly Improv Theater (PHIT) production is performed entirely with the lights off, and has some rather artful if vague-seeming constructs that define it as well. The upside of the opening night’s performance: the recurring jokes and utter weirdness of it all. Coolly off-putting and surprising. The downside? Maybe it went a little long thanks to those extended noise-making sessions between scenes. Through Sept. 10, $15, The Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St.

—Patrick Rapa

³ HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY AND NEVER BE FOUND Fin Kennedy’s drama, performed by Luna Theater Co., poses an interesting idea, in several senses: Creating a new identity is intriguing, but we can’t warm up to Charlie (David Stranger), who’s so fucked up that jettisoning his life becomes necessary. Moreover, Gregory Campbell’s production has a great high-tech, video-screen coolness. Given Charlie’s fate, maybe it’s for the best that we don’t love him, but his journey — realized by a great ensemble playing

multiple roles — is a fascinating plunge into the nature of identity in the modern world. “You can change the shell,” Charlie’s told, “but you’ve still got to fill it.” Through Sept. 18, $20, Playground at the Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St. —Mark Cofta

³ THE METHOD GUN The premise is uproarious: An Austin troupe pretends to be legendary actor thespians who studied under the harsh guru tutelage of “Stella Burden,” a reclusive legend cast in the mold of Stella Adler and Lee Strasberg with a touch of Chris Burden-like savagery to her “Approach.” The goal of the fragile troupe is to finish Burden’s version of A Streetcar Named Desire — the one without the characters of Stanley, Mitch, Blanche and Stella — without stressing itself into disarray. They freak and fold while promoting risk and personal romances within the cast while welcoming a tiger into their midst (because wouldn’t a tiger eating that salesman be more interesting?). By the end, they perform a delicate, stirring, elegantly lit-movement-based version of Streetcar that would’ve made Burden proud.

The utter weirdness of it all.

—A.D. Amorosi

³ SMILEY None of my friends wanted to join me for Smiley, which promised “emotional pornography,” because the show featured audience >>> continued on page 24

the naked city | feature

[ too ferocious to feel ] ³ cabaret/pop

Though the initials in Bison B.C. stand for the band’s native British Columbia, the suggestion of a lumbering prehistoric beast is an apt one. On their third album, Dark Ages (Metal Blade), the Canadian metallers stay firmly rooted in the sounds of heaviness past, making sudden shifts from hammering sludge to precision harmonies to faux-classical acoustic melodies, all accompanied by a coarse growl that harkens back to frontman James Farwell’s hardcore days. Like some ancient animal too ferocious to feel the need to evolve, it’s nothing new but it’s effective. Bison B.C. plays the North Star on Friday (Sept. 9, northstarbar.com). —Shaun Brady

Zach Condon’s toponymy fixation is alive and well in the track list of The Rip Tide (Pompeii), Beirut’s quietly assured third full-length, but his old-world musical wanderlust is far less dominant than it once was. The defining Balkan, French chanson and Mexican folk currents of past efforts are synthesized here into a broader, more refined aesthetic; the characteristic barrage of trumpets, accordions, string bands and martial snares is more than ever in the service of these nine com—K. Ross Hoffman pact, comfortable songs.

—K. Ross Hoffman

flickpick

³ jazz Mary Halvorson and Peter Evans

The word “ethereal” gets thrown around a lot in reference to voices that are merely high, but Active Child’s Pat Grossi, on his spiritually ecstatic debut LP You Are All I See (Vagrant), unleashes a falsetto that’s veritably angelic (an attribute enhanced by the album’s copious, gossamer harp cascades) and also lavishly, deliriously dense enough to spread like velvety putty across these synthetic cathedrals of gleaming, electrified New Age crunk. Active Child plays the First Unitarian Side Chapel tonight (Sept. 8, r5productions.com).

are, respectively, a drummer of limitless belligerence, her generation’s most innovative guitarist, and a trumpeter given to exploring the nether reaches of his instrument. On Electric Fruit (Thirsty Ear), however, the three find common ground on the fringes, each evoking uncommon tendencies in the others — a remarkable feat given how utterly uncommon they all are on a regular basis. They play Highwire Gallery tonight (Sept. 8, museumfire.com/events). —Shaun Brady

[ movie review ]

A tiny dagger in the dark heart of repression.

Verdict: There are plenty of reasons to recommend Back From the Brink. Mainly because the songs have a great, quirky energy and because Kourosh’s efforts to blend traditional Middle Eastern motifs with the Mersey beat pepper the tunes with wonderful little sonic surprises, but also because every CD purchased is a tiny dagger in the dark heart of repression and a small victory for those artists who will not be silenced by fanatics. P.S. Fuck Rick Perry. (r_anonymous@citypaper.net)

✚ Kourosh Yaghmaei

Back From the Brink (NOW AGAIN)

[ A ] HOOP DREAMS DIRECTOR Steve James returns to the streets of Chicago to shadow the efforts of CeaseFire, whose mediators work to defuse inner-city disputes before they erupt into violence. Many of the mediators are perpetrators themselves, and all come from the same background as the people whose lives they’re attempting to re-route: Eddie Bocanegra served 14 years for murder; Ameena Matthews’ father was a notorious gang leader, and she was in a gang herself. CeaseFire’s approach proceeds partly from research that treats urban violence like an epidemic, not a wrong to be righted or a puzzle to be solved. The goal is to stem the infection before it spreads, breaking the chain of reprisals and counter-reprisals; the results, captured over a period of years, can seem nothing short of miraculous. Although the theatrical version of The Interrupters has been shortened substantially, and needlessly, from the cut that premièred at Sundance, it still retains enough scope that the transformations are startling without being abrupt. James’ camera moves in close without being invasive, achieving an intimacy that verges on invisibility. The movie is less overtly aware of its responsibilities than James’ overlooked Stevie, but its span is a testament to the filmmakers’ devotion. Although The Interrupters shows plenty of process, from convocations at which mediators discuss strategy to one-onone encounters with at-risk subjects, there are moments when their success seems more like magic than the result of hard work. To see a hothead on the brink of getting locked up for life emerge from his house clean-cut in the uniform of his first straight job is to witness grand theories bearing fruit on the most basic level. The stories that don’t turn out well break your heart, and those that do make it swell. —Sam Adams

set that chronicles seven years in the musical journey of Kourosh Yaghmaei. The Iranian singer and guitarist — who correctly points out in the accompanying booklet that the modern guitar is derived from an earlier Persian instrument — fell in love with Western pop music and suffered the terrible misfortune of finding his muse just as a bunch of crazed religious fanatics seized control of his country. (Oh yeah, fuck Rick Perry.) Although Yaghmaei’s compositions are mostly permeated with a quiet sense of joy, the works can’t help but be laced with a hint of melancholy. It’s impossible for the listener not to constantly wonder what course Kourosh’s career would have taken had not a bunch of fundamentalist jackwads (fuck you, Rick Perry) banned an art form just because it caused their underdeveloped genitals to quiver, while the packaging makes you seriously question why every male between the ages of 16 and 30 living on planet Earth on during the 1970s looked like the late Freddie Prinze Sr.

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THE INTERRUPTERS

Startling without being abrupt.

HOOD DREAMS: Steve James’ powerful documentary treats urban violence like an epidemic, not a puzzle waiting to be solved.

IRAN!

³ BACK FROM THE BRINK is a double CD

It’s an unlikely trio: Weasel Walter,

³ rock/pop

aidorinvade Rodney Anonymous vs. the world

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September 16, 2011

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Get “vegucated” as celebrities share their vegan evolution.

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8pm (90 min.) The Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St. $15, cash at the door or online at www.LiveArts-Fringe.org or call 215-413-1318

Featured Guests include: Anti-War Activist Cindy Sheehan, Comic Myq Kaplan, Musician Cassendre Xavier, and Chef Kurt E. Smith

For more info visit: www.PublicEyePhilly.org

MOCK JURORS NEEDED FOR FOCUS GROUP

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Philadelphia, PA law firm looking for individuals to participate in a mock trial/jury focus group on Wednesday, September 21, 2011 From 6:30 – 8:30 pm

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[ arts & entertainment ]

✚ The Week That Was

$50 and parking payment for participation and light dinner

Call Barb at 215-972-1600

participation. They needn’t have worried — we sat on antique chairs and couches, were required to do little more than give our name and occupation, and do some deep breathing. Most of this intimate four-actor showcase about intimacy and communication featured the quartet of actors talking about enemas and fisting and golden showers, or acting as animals in heat. Not particularly stimulating stuff — at times, it bordered on boring — but it did have standout performances from Hilla Ben Gera and Ori Laizerouvich on its side. —Gary M. Kramer

³ THE SPEED OF SURPRISE! Alison King’s entrance — sporting a towering bouffant and neon-purple leggings as a space vixen on a cardboard-and-spare-parts backdrop — sets the tone for the Groundswell Players’ send-up of vintage (and cheap) sci-fi. Jesse Bowie Paulsen (the crew’s requisite foreign species), Jack Meaney (the rock-jawed captain) and Scott Sheppard (the shorts-pantsed sidekick) all nail the archetypes, but unfortunately this frontier’s been explored so much that the jokes hardly seem alien. With such an able cast and the gifted Charlotte Ford at the helm, it’s disappointing that the show devolves into so much flailing about in zero G. Through Sept. 10, $15, The Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St. —Shaun Brady

³ TWELFTH NIGHT, OR WHAT YOU WILL Pig Iron’s Twelfth Night is true to Shakespeare (a good thing), and truly Pig Iron (a very good thing). This girl-disguised-as-boy romantic comedy soars under Dan Rothenberg’s direction, with near-constant onstage accompaniment by Rosie Langabeer’s gypsy musicians, and remarkably clear, incisive, smart performances by all. I’ve never seen a Feste so caustic, cryptic, yet cuddly as Scott Greer, and James Sugg’s Keith Richards in a pink suit breathes new life into drunken Sir Toby. Maiko Matsushima’s set includes a quarter-pipe slide that adds to the fun — but after all the laughs, something elegant remains. Pure magic. Through Sept. 17, $25, Suzanne Roberts Theatre, 480 S. Broad St. —Mark Cofta

³ WATER BEARS IN SPACE Candra Kennedy (who also wrote/directed the fantastic Rails in Fringe ’09) finds melodrama in the least likely places — in this case, the day-to-day lives of the titular micro-organisms (scientifically, tardigrades) and the professional wranglings of the scientists who study them. Here are two parallel, quasi-archetypal narratives: a quest saga starring three plucky, adorable microbe puppets and a laboratory power struggle featuring the always-dynamic Kate Black-Regan as a gleefully demented, thumbless mad microbiologist. Act I ends with a chorus line of dancing thumbs, and by the second act, as gravity and sanity lose their grip, things rocket past creatively campy to utterly, transcendently bizarre. Through Sept. 16,

7 p.m., $10, Circle of Hope, 1125 S. Broad St. —K. Ross Hoffman

³ WAWAPALOOZA 5:

UNDER DESTRUCTION

There are as many misses as hits among the two short films and 13 sketches that make up the fifth installment of Wawapalooza, but not everyone will be in agreement over what works and what doesn’t. The difference between what tickles you and what leaves you scratching your head may well come down to which targets hit closest to home: self-righteous parents or self-righteous college kids, abusive baseball fans or weepy Patrick Swayze fans, clueless Mac users or lame Facebook friends. A good rule of thumb:

A space vixen with a towering bouffant sets the tone. The more twisted the premise, the bigger the payoff. Through Sept. 17, $15, Society Hill Playhouse, 507 S. Eighth St. —M.J. Fine

³ WHALE OPTICS Director/writer/stager Thaddeus Phillips’ usually hectic semicomic multimedia experience (e.g. El Conquistador) this time comes with a delicious sense of lonely rumination and calm. Carl Sagan (via his Cosmos television series), an elastic troupe of movement-thespians (in particular the quirkily humorous Lee Ann Etzold and the quietly dignified Makoto Hirano) and an audience seated on the Prince’s stage head confidently into the deep. That the deep concerns matters of the heart as well as the battle between snobby intellectualism and nature’s intuitions is what makes the weirdly funny Optics tick. Or swim. Through Sept. 11, $25, Prince Music Theatre, 1412 Chestnut St. —A.D. Amorosi ✚ For tickets and information, call 215-

413-1318 or visit livearts-fringe.org.

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tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no joke. Every year, hundreds of hungry young comics from all over the area gather at Helium Comedy Club on Sansom for the Phillyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Phunniest competition. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re there to prove themselves, to earn some glory, and to pocket that thousand-dollar cash prize. The preliminary rounds, held every Sunday since the beginning of June, consisted of five-minute sets voted on by audience members via secret ballot. All that led up to the finals last Wednesday, Aug. 31, judged by local celebs. The contest, which has grown every year, was up to 153 standups. But like the Highlander, there can be only one. Following in the footsteps of last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s winner, Doogie Horner, 2011 champ/part-time cook Tommy Pope is a homegrown Philly comic. We decided to find out what makes him so damn phunny.

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LAST LAUGH Joking around with this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Phunniest champ, Tommy Pope. By Ryan Carey

CP: What have been your memorable com-

edy milestones so far? TP: Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve gotten really lucky with the comedians Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve worked with. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had a lot of sold-out shows. Opening for Eddie Gossling was fun, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s such a great guy, and Christian Finnegan and JB Smooth. â&#x20AC;Ś Every time I work a week at Helium, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a milestone experience. And Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve gotten a lot of experience from running the Bird Text [Comedy] Show, where we have tier-two next-generation headliners: the guys that real comedy junkies really wanna see.

part is, regardless of how the set goes, coming down afterward. You canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t match that feeling. The release of endorphins, the excitement of being on stage â&#x20AC;&#x201D; then all the sudden youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in the back of the Raven Lounge with a PBR. If I have a really good show, I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even go to bed that night, I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t slow down my mind.

always tried to talk me into it [and] he finally got me down to Heliumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s open mic. Back then, it was one of the only public open mics. At that time, you just signed up and hoped to get on. I got on once in the first three months, and then another quarter year went by before I got on again.

TP: My first and second year I got to the semi-finals, and then last year I got to the finals. And I ate it. The two semi-final years were great for me, but last year I really did bad.

CP: Was it immediately gratifying? Did you bomb?

CP: What happened?

TP: It was immediately gratifying for me. Maybe not so much for

TP: I think nerves. There was an elevated state of expectations

season? Are all these natural disasters a harbinger of end times? TP: I was on my laptop on my couch when the earthquake hit, and I ran into the archway. I have very high anxiety, and at first I thought my body was having a reaction to a late night and booze. As for the world ending, I think I had a stronger opinion on Tuesday, but after winning Phillyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Phunniest, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t care if the world ends. (ryan.carey@citypaper.net)

the crowd. Looking back, the set was pretty brutal but I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know at the time what a good set was. The high of getting even one giggle, you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really explain it unless you experience it once. The worst

in the finals. And also, I went first. Everything was just a hair off. Like when you watch a bad Schwarzenegger movie on TV and the dialogue is just a tad off.

â&#x153;&#x161; Follow Tommy Pope on birdtext.com and on Twitter @TommyJPope. Ryan Careyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s LOL With It column runs every Friday at citypaper.net/criticalmass.

City Paper: How long have you been doing comedy? Tommy Pope: I started comedy at the end of 2008. My brother

CP: Have you been in the Phunniest finals before?

TWELFTH NIGHT, OR WHAT YOU WILL

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“A FIX OF PURE URBAN ADRENALINE”

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“A THRILLINGLY MODERN BRAND OF CIRCUS” - TIME OUT NY

SEPTEMBER 15-18 at the MERRIAM THEATER Traces is high-energy urban acrobatics for all ages—poetic and explosive, humorous and thoughtful—from 7 Fingers, a Montreal-based circus arts company founded with the goal to bring circus to a human scale.

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keila cordova dances and 3 pony show presents

a modern day fable

a&e

Friday, September 16 at 9pm and Saturday, September 17 at 2pm & 8pm At Conwell Theater at Temple University.

www.keilacordova.com

New City Stage Company presents Summer Angel Production’s new version of

PLENTIFUL is Family Fun

Dance, Music, Treats and Revelry InMovement Studio, 500 Kenilworth St 9/10: 2pm and 7pm. $12

How to Disappear Completely And Never Be Found A two-part collaboration of POETRY, MOVEMENT & SOUND

SEPTEMBER 2-17

9/1-9/18 @ 2030 Sansom St. www.LunaTheater.org

Theatre Exile’s The Aliens

9/1-9/18 at Studio X 1340 S. 13th Street (13th & Reed) www.TheatreExile.org

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN A play by Tom Tirney

Texting and a High School Crush… Shows: 9/8-9/17 @ 8pm Matinee: 9/11 @ 2pm

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For more information about Agnes Falling, Ticket Information or to Support KCD Scan Here!

Philly Shakespeare Theatre 21st & Sansom Street Tickets $13 at Fringe Box Ofﬁce or go to: www.teachyourchildren-theplay.com

FOR TICKETS/INFO: 215-563-7500 WWW.NEWCITYSTAGE.ORG

BALLET FLEMING

“FEELIN’ ALRIGHT” WWW.BALLETFLEMING.ORG

For Tickets: WWW. LIVEARTS-FRINGE-ORG OFFICE # (215) 413-1318

The Wedding Consultant

Written & Performed by Eric Singel 9/2-9/18 @ Walnut St. Theatre Studio 3 LiveArts-Fringe.org (215) 413-1318

Lickety Skits

By Secret Room Theatre www.secretroomtheatre.com

The Dressing Room

Presented by Green Light Arts www.GreenLightArts.org

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Company Debut: Long Train Running Set to Music By Philly’s Own Time for Three & Hugely Popular Rock and Roll Ballet Janis and JOE! SEPT 14 & 15 • 7 PM Painted Bride 230 Vine Street

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IN THEATERS SEPTEMBER 16

³ IT’S HARD TO imagine how a pair of novels with such similar concerns could wind up in such different places as Dana Spiotta’s Stone Arabia (Scribner, July 12) and Kevin Wilson’s The Family Fang (Ecco, Aug. 9) do. Both feature a brother-sister pair; both want to show the costs that art can have. But even considering that Stone Arabia uses existential dread as freely as Fang cracks jokes, these books come up with divergent answers to similar questions about art and obligation. Stone Arabia is the kind of book we expect when we look for a book about making art. It’s serious, often to the point of bleakness, complex in its structure, unflinching in its depiction of the artist’s pain and isolation, and ambiguous in its conclusion. Largely narrated by Denise Kranis, sister to almostrock-star Nik Worth, Stone Arabia gives us Nik’s retreat from his failed big break into the navel-gazing parallel career he invents for himself: He records songs in his garage studio, distributes them, fabricates interviews and record reviews about them, and charts the imaginary influence of his bands and side projects on the face of rock ’n’ roll. Denise, meanwhile, supports and enables and tries to endure him, as his sometimes-unwilling No. 1 fan. For all of Spiotta’s seriousness and careful skill in creating Nik and Denise’s relationship, the skeleton of plot and character that needs to support her ideas about creation and compulsion and family is too slight; the solipsistic outsider artist doesn’t throw enough light back on ourselves to be universal, and the sister who supports his work without regard for herself is too otherworldly. We wind up only feeling sorry for these characters, without needing to examine ourselves. By virtue of being a comedy, The Family Fang sets a lower bar. Annie and Buster Fang, a scandalplagued starlet and sad-sack novelist, respectively, used to be Child A and Child B in their conceptualartist parents’ elaborate, madcap works. Wilson describes these pieces as equal parts practical joke and not-quite child abuse: dressing up a prepubescent Buster to take first prize in the Little Miss Crimson Clover pageant (after the big reveal, Buster pleads to keep his tiara), subjecting countless shopping-mall Santas to their terrified, crying

child (“Do you know how resilient kids are?”). Interleaved between these vignettes, grown-up Annie and Buster struggle to cope with their own lives and their aging parents; if they succeed in doing so, with a few hijinks along the way, who’s going to begrudge that? But if Kevin Wilson succeeds on charm, he still soft-pedals the hard questions. For the Fangs, art is fundamentally selfindulgent, not compulsive, and family is vital, at least until you need to save yourself. These two novels leave a hole in the field, one that gets covered in an unlikely fashion. Chad Harbach’s The Art of Fielding (Little Brown, Sept. 7), which follows a record-breaking season for fictional Westish College’s baseball squad, has at least as much to say about art and its effects as Spiotta or Wilson do. If it sits somewhere between the faint praise of “best novel about Division III baseball ever” and Infinite Jest’s use of tennis as perfect metaphor, Fielding still

No need to examine ourselves. captures an element beyond the mechanics of its game — the dedication of the player, and the corresponding desire of the fan. For Harbach’s characters, “Baseball was an art but to excel at it you had to become a machine,” substituting inspiration for “the elimination of error.” And for the spectator, for the fan, that art feeds faith: “Deep down, he thought, we all believe we’re God. We each secretly believe that the outcome of the game depends on us. … Each of us, deep down, believes that the whole world issues from his own precious body, like images projected from a tiny slide onto an earth-sized screen. And then, deeper down, each of us knows we’re wrong.” More than careful comedy or specific detailed tragedy, it’s the fan’s dilemma that explains the obligation of art. (j_bauer@citypaper.net)

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FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

Warrior

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✚ NEW

COLUMBIA PICTURES PRESENTS A HAPPY MADISON PRODUCTION NICK SWARDSON “BUCKY LARSON: BORN TO BE A STAR” CHRISTINA MUSIC RICCI WITH DONJOHNSONWRITTENAND STEPHEN DORFF SUPERVISIONMUSICBY MICHAEL DILBECK BRYAN BONWELL BY WADDY WACHTEL BY ADAM SANDLER & ALLEN COVERT & NICK SWARDSON PRODUCED BY ADAM SANDLER JACK GIARRAPUTO ALLEN COVERT NICK SWARDSON DAVID DORFMAN DIRECTED BY TOM BRADY

STARTS FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 9

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ATTACK THE BLOCK|A+ Fielding the adolescent-hero ball bungled by J.J. Abrams’ soulless Super 8 and absolutely burying it in the back of the net, Joe Cornish’s imaginative, funny and (yes) heartwarming Attack the Block is this year’s best action flick, proving once again that there’s no need for Michael Bay-caliber pyrotechnics, torrential bloodshed or specious romance when clarity of character is held in proper regard. The besieged “block” of the title is a high-walled South London housing project, home base for a gang of squeaky-voiced criminals led by the aptly named Moses (promising newcomer John Boyega). One minute, the kids — and they are just kids, as we’re reminded via telling glimpses into each of their bedrooms — are jacking mild-mannered nurse Sam (Jodie Whittaker) for her valuables. The next, they’re chasing (and being chased by) vicious jet-black space creatures who start peppering the ’hood like man-eating hail (“It’s raining gollums!”). The cosmic onslaught drives Moses, his crew and their conflicted victim into the claustrophobic arms of the block, where allies are few (Luke Treadaway’s eccentric stoner, Nick Frost’s slovenly weed dealer) and hiding places are fewer. With U.K. youth riots dominating recent international headlines, writer/director Cornish could’ve certainly gotten away with preaching from a product-of-their-environment pulpit, but he opts to show instead of tell, mining the relatable humanity of the day-to-day without making any insincere socioeconomic declarations. But that observation short-changes just how taut and captivating this singular 88-minute ride can be. —Drew Lazor (AMC Cherry Hill) CIRCUMSTANCE|BPersian-American Maryam Keshavarz makes her feature

debut with the story of young Tehranian women struggling against social norms. As it often does, teenage rebellion bleeds into (counter-)revolution; Sarah Kazemy, the daughter of disappeared intellectuals, and Nikol Boosheri, whose parents are wealthy and connected, go from hanging out at illegal parties to helping a friend dub Milk into Farsi. The movie has covert resonance for the two women, whose lifelong friendship has begun to turn sexual. They dream of escape to the relative freedom of Dubai, but when Boosheri’s drug addict brother (Reza Sixo Safai) returns from prison, their options start to dry up. Recoiling from his parents’ mistrust, Safai turns toward Islamic fundamentalism and a position with the country’s Morality Police, allowing him to gain the upper hand in the veiled power struggle within his own family. Keshavarz’s staging of period Tehran (shot in Beirut) is compelling, but her story plays like Sundance Mad Libs, a disappointment given the setting’s potential. Circumstance is solidly constructed, but without much in the way of inspiration. Its conclusion feels rushed and contrived, particularly where Safai’s transformation into a vindictive zealot is concerned. Perhaps it’s unfair to compare Circumstance to the very different Persepolis, but it’s hard not to drift off to Marjane Satrapi’s more pungent and personally inflected evocation of the same terrain, in which the characters are as vivid as their surroundings. —Sam Adams (Ritz at the Bourse)

CONTAGION Read Shaun Brady’s review at citypaper.net/movies. (Roxy, UA Riverview)

THE INTERRUPTERS|A Read Sam Adams’ review in the A&E section on p. 23. (Ritz at the Bourse)

CREATURE A haiku: Half-alligator. Half-man. Zero percent shark. Still kinda scary. (Not reviewed)

✚ CONTINUING APOLLO 18 A haiku: “There’s a reason we’ve never gone back to the moon.” Too expensive, right? (Not reviewed)

BRIGHTON ROCK|C

CONAN THE BARBARIAN|CSay what you will about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Conan the Barbarian, but the Governator undoubtedly brought his absurd charisma to the role. The same cannot be said for Jason Momoa’s Conan, a vengeful meathead who decapitates first and asks questions later. Without the camp humor there’s very little to like about this one-trick Barbarian, whose only solution to a problem is to grunt and run at it with his sword. —S.B. CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE.|BAs mom and dad Steve Carell and Julianne Moore head toward divorce, their son (Jonah Bobo) nurses a fierce crush on his baby sitter (Analeigh Tipton), who is herself hot for Carell. Newly single Carell takes tips from seasoned pickup artist Ryan Gosling, who takes pity on the hapless older man but falls prey to Cupid’s wiles once the uncommonly resistant Emma Stone comes into the picture. Intertwining love plots go back at least as far as Restoration comedy, but the script peddles shopworn adages instead of hard-earned truths. Each story feels like something that happened to a friend of a friend, just far enough removed to feel naggingly out of whack. —S.A. (Roxy)

THE DEBT|BIs it moral to lie in the name of national catharsis, or should citizens be allowed to confront difficult truths at the risk

DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK|C Sally, relocated by her flake of a mother to live with her architect dad (Guy Pearce) and his interior designer lover (Katie Holmes), is a troubled kid wrestling with abandonment issues — so (naturally!) she clings to the teasing voices pleading for her friendship from a deep, dark hole in the basement. Though the grown-ups don’t believe her, Sally soon starts being terrorized by these otherworldy monsters that operate solely in the shadows. You couldn’t pay for a better device with which to cultivate big scares, but the herky-jerky organization (screams one sec, snores the next) does no favors for Guillermo del Toro’s film, which takes little advantage of the latitude that comes with an R rating. —D.L.

FINAL DESTINATION 5|B Yep, FD5 follows the absolutely exact same formula as its predecessors: Too-pretty-to-live yuppies escape a blood-gurgling catastrophe (thanks to a good ol’ Unexplained Premonition) only to find themselves hunted one by one by the unseen Rube Golbergian Death. Lots of dripping pipes, self-loosening bolts, fraying wires, that sorta thing. This time the disaster’s a bridge collapse, and there’s some weird, unconfirmed and ultimately pointless loophole it’s not worth going into here. This franchise has few surprises to offer, so don’t let anybody ruin FD5’s ridiculous and self-congratulatory ending for you. —P.R. FRIGHT NIGHT|BUnlike many a remake, this revamp of Tom Holland’s 1985 horror-comedy learned most of the right lessons from its predecessor. Anton Yelchin is Charley Brewster, a high-schooler whose best friend is convinced Charley’s new neighbor is a vampire. It just so happens that he’s right; enter an endearingly hammy Colin Farrell, making speeches about the “scent of fear” while suggesting that one way to survive the tedium of immortality is to

TRISTAR PICTURES AND STAGE 6 FILMS PRESENT A COPRODUCTION EUROPACORP-TF FILMS PRODUCTION-GRIVE PRODUCTIONS WITH THE PARTICIPATION OF CANAL+ AND CINECINEMA ZOE SALDANA “COLOMBIANA” WITH MICHAEL VARTAN AND CLIFF CURTIS JORDI MOLLA LENNIE JAMES ORIGINAL LINE PRODUCED SCORE NATHANIEL MECHALY PRODUCER AJOZ FILMS BY LUC BESSON AND ARIEL ZEITOUN WRITTEN DIRECTED BY LUC BESSON & ROBERT MARK KAMEN BY OLIVIER MEGATON

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES

In his directorial debut, Rowan Joffe never attempts to explain why sociopathic anti-hero Pinkie Brown (Sam Riley) falls in with old-school mobsters

In Bogotá, a fantasy space full of yellow light and crooked hillside rooftops, a little girl’s dad is murdered by evil drug runners, inspiring in her a lifelong vengeance plot. When she grows up, Cataleya (Zoe Saldana) becomes a contract killer for her uncle and — oh yes — a pathological serial assassin of those she considers responsible for her father’s death. She’s slinky and well-armed and high-tech, eluding the FBI, the CIA and the drug kingpins who want her dead. She’s also elusive romantically, as such damaged girls tend to be. While it’s sometimes clever and sometimes just stupid, Colombiana consistently fails to surprise. —Cindy Fuchs

of widespread dissension? The Debt, a remake of a 2007 Israeli film, poses this question but muddles its answers. In the modern day, Helen Mirren plays Rachel Singer, a former Mossad agent whose daughter is publishing a book detailing her heroics as a Nazi hunter. The occasion brings a reunion with her two partners (Tom Wilkinson and Ciarán Hinds) and awakens memories that conflict with the story that’s been told for decades. The thriller mechanics remain taut but miss an opportunity to create more than tension. —S.B.

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A haiku: Can’t wait until this movie bombs and they stop those fucking commercials. (Not reviewed) (UA Riverview)

COLOMBIANA|B-

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BUCKY LARSON: BORN TO BE A STAR

instead of his scooter-riding contemporaries. It too often feels like a ’40s noir unfolding while Quadrophenia erupts in the background. The parallels hint at a theme of the basic amorality of youth and the struggle to reconcile violent impulses with Catholic guilt and the aimless energy of adolescence; worst of all, Joffe’s recasting of the Ida Arnold character as a matronly café manager not only squanders Helen Mirren but discards Greene’s most colorful asset, the brassy barfly-turned-amateur detective. —Shaun Brady (Ritz Five)

a&e

With the beguiling and bombastic Warrior, Gavin O’Connor (Miracle) might have finally cracked the cinematic code allowing the inborn gravitas of mixed martial arts to blossom on the big screen. But swinging fists (and feet, and elbows) in a cage can only cut through so much grotesque melodrama. Setting two Rocky-esque underdog cases on a literal collision course, O’Connor dons pugilistic tropes like a pair of well-worn gym shorts. In his sons’ Pittsburgh youth, hardscrabble alcoholic boxer Paddy (Nick Nolte) trained both his boys — seething lughead pill addict Tommy (Tom Hardy) and altruistic family man Brendan (Joel Edgerton) — to be topnotch athletes, but his violent drinking shattered the family unit, driving Tommy to the Marines and Brendan to Philly to start a family with high school sweetheart, Tess (Jennifer Morrison). Tommy eventually resurfaces on his father’s stoop, hoping pops will get him in shape for Sparta, an Atlantic City MMA tourney with a huge cash payout; Brendan, facing foreclosure, fixes his gaze on the same purse, building up his game under renowned trainer Frank Campagna (Frank Grillo). It’s no secret the brothers end up bashing each others’ heads in for the belt, fine since the true revelations here are Hardy and Edgerton’s wounded performances, made all the more mortal by Nolte’s throaty sad-sackitude (is he really listening to Moby Dick on audiobook right now?). O’Connor has a gift for coaxing raw intimacy out of his actors, but his massaging of audience heartstrings — father vs. son! brother vs. brother! husband vs. wife! military stuff! — is so frequent it’s hard not to label it pandering. —D.L. (UA Riverview)

the naked city | feature

WARRIOR|B-

feature | the naked city a&e classifieds | food | the agenda

simply not be very bright. The horror is tame, the comedy mild — both of which match the limited charms of Fright Night’s model. —S.B.

A GOOD OLD FASHIONED ORGY|BIn theory, a movie about a bunch of very funny friends throwing a big, crazy sex party should be a kick in the nuts to all the moralistic casual-sex comedies that dropped this year. In practice, A Good Old Fashioned Orgy is as ridiculous as the rest of them. Jason Sudeikis is charming, if not quite empathetic, as a semi-spoiled man-child whose dad (leathery apparition Don Johnson) decides to

sell the house in the Hamptons, thus putting an end to all those improbably elaborate theme parties his son and pals like to throw all summer long. It’s about a quarter sexy, half funny and, like any decent non-rom-com, entirely inconsequential. —Patrick Rapa

THE GUARD|AJohn Michael McDonagh, brother of lauded playwright and In Bruges director Martin McDonagh, takes a whole-hog approach to exploiting the provincial reputation of the Irish in his directorial debut, following the amoral exploits of Gerry Boyle (Brendan Gleeson), an acid-dropping, hooker-

hiring, socially stunted police officer who could very well be the last clean cop on the Emerald Isle. What makes The Guard such a watchable black comedy, aside from its grinningly McQueen-like pace, is Gleeson’s serrated performance, at once childlike, cold and chummy. —D.L. (Ritz Five)

THE HEDGEHOG|C Paloma (Garance Le Guillermic) is a wealthy, precocious 11-year-old who hides from her family via a camcorder she uses to chronicle “why life is absurd.” Her story is paralleled with that of her apartment building’s janitor, Mrs. Michel (Josiane Balasko), whom Paloma dubs “the Hedgehog” because she is prickly on the outside, refined on the inside. When an elegant Japanese man, Mr. Ozu (Togo Igawa), moves in with his cats, he helps Paloma and Mrs. Michel come out of their shells. All this drama, adapted from Murial Barbery’s novel by writer/director Mona Achache, unfolds at a snail’s pace; Achache layers her film with some nice visuals and even a nifty bit of animation, but it is all just lipstick on a pig. —Gary M. Kramer (Ritz Five)

THE HELP|C

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The Help maintains an air of glossy nobility, sanctifying every one of its characters for their courage while shielding its eyes from hard truths at every turn. For all of its Oprah’s Book Clubbiness, the source novel at least maintained

that very real threat of violence and abuse that any African-American faced by stepping out of line — lines constantly redefined by their angry and frustrated white neighbors and employers. But Tate Taylor places his emphasis squarely on crowd-pleasing, alternating scenes of quiet, dignified suffering with those silly racist, rich white folk showing their true colors. Its prevailing mood is self-congratulatory, tsk-tsk-ing bigotry from the safe haven of its own more enlightened era. —S.B.

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS|B+ No filmmaker has been so self-aware and yet so trapped by his own neuroses as Woody Allen. Midnight in Paris is his latest auto-diagnosis, recognizing his chronic discontent and romanticization of an ideal other time, other place. That would be 1920s Paris, which screenwriter Gil (Owen Wilson) pines for as his own gilded age. Despite his role as chronicler of modern intellectual life, Allen has never shied away from leavening his films with fantasy, and the latest iteration results in his best film in recent memory. —S.B. (Ritz Five)

ONE DAY|B+ Can a man and a woman be friends without letting love get in the way? One Day may be the umpteenth film this year to address that thorny question, yet only heartless cynics will be bothered by the familiarity of this shamelessly irresistible romantic melodrama.

“TRULY ONE OF THE BEST FILMS I’VE SEEN ALL YEAR!” AIN’T IT COOL NEWS

“A MUST-SEE!

AN UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE!” Pete Hammond, BACKSTAGE

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¸( Z\WLYI ZJPLUJL ÄJ[PVU OVYYVY ÄST ^P[O H [OVYV\NOS` ^PJRLK ZLUZL VM O\TVY ¹

“RIVETING! DRAWS YOU IN FROM THE FIRST SCENE.” Krista Smith, VANITY FAIR

“FIERCELY MOVING!”

“THRILLING!” Drew McWeeny, HITFIX

“A STORY AS POWERFUL AND UNFORGETTABLE AS ‘ROCKY!’”

“INCREDIBLE! BETTER THAN ‘THE FIGHTER!’”

Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE

Ed Douglas, COMINGSOON.NET

Alex Billington, FIRSTSHOWING.NET

)Y\JL +PVULZ A SCREEN GEMS RELEASE IN ASSOCIATION WITH STAGE 6 FILMS STUDIO CANAL FEATURES FILM4 AND UK FILM COUNCIL PRESENT A BIG TALK PICTURES PRODUCTION “ATTACK THE BLOCK” STARRING JODIE WHITTAKER JOHN BOYEGA ALEX ESMAIL FRANZ DRAMEH LEEON JONES SIMON HOWARD LUKE TREADAWAY CASTING HAIR & MAKE UP COSTUME VISUAL EFFECTS VISUAL MUSIC MUSIC JUMAYN HUNTER AND NICK FROST DIRECTOR NINA GOLD DESIGNER JANE WALKER DESIGNER ROSA DIAS SUPERVISOR GED WRIGHT EFFECTS BY DOUBLE NEGATIVE SUPERVISOR NICK ANGEL BY STEVEN PRICE ADDITIONAL PRODUCTION DIRECTOR OF POST PRODUCTION LINE MUSIC BY FELIX BUXTON AND SIMON RATCLIFFE DESIGNER MARCUS ROWLAND PHOTOGRAPHY TOM TOWNEND EDITOR JONATHAN AMOS SUPERVISOR MICHAEL SOLINGER PRODUCER JAMES BIDDLE EXECUTIVE PRODUCED WRITTEN AND BY NIRA PARK AND JAMES WILSON DIRECTED BY JOE CORNISH PRODUCERS MATTHEW JUSTICE TESSA ROSS JENNY BORGARS WILL CLARKE OLIVIER COURSON AND EDGAR WRIGHT

AMC LOEWS OAKS STADIUM 24 56> 73(@05. HADDENFIELD :;(9;: -90+(@ REGAL CHERRY HILL 24 180 MILL ROAD, OAKS RD. & ROUTE 38 (610) 666-6697 :,7;,4),9 (5+ *65;05<05. 800-FANDANGO #748

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR SHOWTIMES

IN THEATERS FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 9

[ movie shorts ]

The “one day” in question is July 15, St. Swithin’s Day, when Emma (Anne Hathaway) and Dexter (Jim Sturgess) first meet; the film chronicles Em and Dex’s lives on the same day every year for two decades. This narrative gimmick and the film’s “live for today” message may be contrived, but director Lone Scherfig’s sure hand and fast pace makes the conceit surprisingly moving. —G.M.K. (Ritz East)

OUR IDIOT BROTHER|C+ After being tricked into selling pot to a uniformed police officer, ingratiating hippie Ned serves a short stint behind bars, after which he’s kicked out by his ex and forced to live successively with each of his sisters. He complicates each of these situations simply by approaching them honestly and being unable, or unwilling, to navigate the convoluted narrows of lies and secrets his sisters have been using to get through their days. There’s more to Ned than meets the eye, and his naÏveté may be more choice than nature, leaving open the question of whether he stumbles into saving his sisters’ lives or actively pursues the task. —S.B. (Ritz East)

POINT BLANK|BGilles Lelouche plays a nurse whose pregnant wife is kidnapped and held for ransom after he interrupts an assassination attempt on patient Roschdy Zem, himself wanted for the murder of a wealthy businessman. Lelouche’s task is to take out Zem himself, but instead the two form an uneasy alliance to track down their mutual adversary. Fred Cavayé, who directed the French source for The Next Three Days, stages the action with a minimum of fuss and frill, producing a lean, even undernourished, dish that clocks in at barely an hour and quarter. The movie is engaging but shallow, like a sugar rush that leaves you feeling hollow when it wears off. —S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse) RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES|C+ Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a prequel to the original, which unfolds almost solely to set up a franchise — which already exists. Best not to spend too much time thinking about it. James Franco stars as the least competent scientist in film history, developing a potential Alzheimer’s cure and smuggling home a hyper-intelligent chimp to raise as his own. The ape revolution that results would have played as junky fun on a shoestring budget in the drive-in era, but some-

SARAH’S KEY|D

As recounted in Asif Kapadia’s terrific documentary, Formula One driver Ayrton Senna was not only skilled and daring, but also charismatic and thoughtful. Considering the many ways that politics manifest in Formula One racing while also conveying what’s thrilling about driving, from a driver’s perspective, the film leads inevitably to Senna’s death in 1994, following a crash at the San Marino Grand Prix in Imola, Italy. Less celebratory than contemplative, more nuanced than definitive, the documentary articulates risks and also allows the drivers to describe their nearly ecstatic experiences. —C.F. (Ritz at the Bourse)

SHARK NIGHT

SPY KIDS: ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD IN 4D A haiku: Thanks, Aroma-Scope! We’ve always wanted to smell Jessica Alba. (Not reviewed)

THE TREE OF LIFE|A-

0723, fairmountwaterworks.com. Six Degrees Could Change the World (2008, U.S., 96 min.): Teach your

tots about global warming with this film, which runs in conjunction with FWWIC’s monthlong Troublesome Temperatures series. Saturdays in September, 1:30 p.m. and 3:30 p.m., free.

“ONE OF THE BEST

FILMS OF THE YEAR. PITCH-PERFECT PACING AND GREATKevin PERFORMANCES.” McCarthy, FOX-TV

“UTTERLY TERRIFYING. ‘CONTAGION’ IS A POWERFUL THRILLER.” Stephen Rebello, PLAYBOY

AWESOME FEST

FILMADELPHIA CLASSICS

Piazza at Schmidts, Second Street and Germantown Avenue, theawesomefest. com. The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975 (2011, Sweden, 100 min.) A documentary about the U.S. black power movement as viewed by a group of Swedish journalists. A panel discussion follows. Thu., Sept. 8, 7 p.m., free.

Asylum Arena, 7 W. Ritner St., 215-6877560, filmadelphia.org. Rocky (1976, U.S., 119 min.): For details, flip to p. 44. Wed., Sept. 14, 7:30 p.m., $5.

THE BALCONY 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s Season 7 Première Party (2011, U.S., 30 min.) Hosted by WMMR’s Preston and Steve. Thu., Sept. 8, 8 p.m., free tickets available through wmmr.com. X-Men: First Class (2011, U.S., 132 min.) “Tomorrow, mankind will know that mutants exist. They will fear us, and that fear will turn to hatred.” Mon., Sept. 12, 8 p.m., $3.

BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. Young @ Heart (2007, U.K., 107 min.): A chorus of senior citizens that covers songs by Hendrix, Coldplay and Sonic Youth. Tue., Sept. 13, 7:30 p.m., $10.

CHESTNUT HILL FILM GROUP Free Library, Chestnut Hill Branch, 8711 Germantown Ave., 215-248-0977, armcinema25.com. Marie Antoinette (2006, U.S., 123 min.): Sofia Coppola’s take on France’s let-them-eat-cake queen. Tue., Sept. 13, 7:30 p.m., free.

COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. MST3K: The Horrors of Spider Island

(1960, U.S., 90 min.): Mike and the bots watch a German film about someone named Bob Box Body and his harem of chesty broads. Fri., Sept. 9, 9:45 p.m., $5-$10. Silent Film and Pipe Organ Concert (1950, U.S., 92 min.): An intermingling of Laurel and Hardy slapstick and end-of-summer-themed organ music to benefit the TOSDV Theatre Pipe Organ Restoration Fund. Sun., Sept. 11, 3 p.m., $5-$10.

FAIRMOUNT WATER WORKS INTERPRETIVE CENTER 640 Waterworks Drive, 215-685-

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. Resurrect Dead:

“TAUT AND THOUGHT-PROVOKING, THIS MOVIE ISSam INFECTIOUS TO THE CORE.” Hallenbeck, NBC-TV “GRIPPING, PROVOCATIVE AND DEEPLY ENGAGING.” Scott Mantz, ACCESS HOLLYWOOD

The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles

(2011, U.S. 85 min.): Locally produced, this film follows a man who uncovers a mystery when he pieces together cryptic tiles that have appeared in streets across the U.S. and South America. Each screening will be attended by the West Philly cast and crew. For details, flip to p. 39. Sept. 8 and 11-12, 7 p.m., Sept. 10, 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m., $9.

MEDIUM RARE CINEMA Video Library, 7141 Germantown Ave., 215-247-3020, regrettablesincerity. com. A Bittersweet Life (2005, South Korea, 120 min.): The director’s cut of Kim Ji-woon’s drama about a crime boss who is targeted for a nixing. Thu., Sept. 8, 7 p.m., $7.

SECRET CINEMA Eastern State Penitentiary, 22nd and Fairmount streets, 215-236-3300, thesecretcinema.com Rare Prison Films. A back-to-back screening of hardly seen prison flicks in the creepy confines of Eastern State Pen. Oooooooo. Fri., Sept. 9, 8 p.m., $10.

WOODEN SHOE 704 South St., 215-413-0999, woodenshoebooks.com. The Day I Became A Woman (2000, France, 78 min.): The life of an Iranian woman is depicted through three interconnected stories about women at different stages in their lives. Sun., Sept. 11, 7 p.m., free.

More on:

citypaper.net ✚ FOR COMPREHENSIVE EVENT LISTINGS, VISIT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / L I S T I N G S .

foodanddrink

portioncontrol By Drew Lazor

HOORAY FILLET: The Happy Rooster’s redfish, served in a lobster broth with plump mussels and heirloom cherry tomatoes, is a terrific example of chef Matt Savastano’s abilities. NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

HOME TO ROOST A young chef plus an old bar equals a recipe for rediscovery. By Adam Erace THE HAPPY ROOSTER | 118 S. 16th St., 215-963-9311, thehappyrooster.com. Lunch Mon.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m.; dinner Mon.-Sat., 5-11 p.m.; Sunday, 11:30 a.m.-11 p.m. Appetizers, $7-$14; entrées, $13-$23; desserts, $8.

citypaper.net

>>> continued on page 50

even thousand, eight hundred and fifty-four. In my years living in Philadelphia, that’s probably how many times I’ve walked by the fire-engine-red front of the Happy Rooster. Seven thousand, eight hundred and fifty-four times, and never once had I gone More on: in. I’d peered into the cranked-out café windows, at the bar full of lunching lawyers, racks of glasses hanging upside-down over their heads like a colony of slumbering crystal bats. En route to flashier neighbors, I’d even scoped the menu, but never gave this 43-year-old stalwart (currently under its third owner, Debora Reid-Jordan) the proper follow-through. Talk about disrespecting your elders. Matt Savastano finally got me in the door. He had me at homemade gnocchi with braised duck and honey butter, the dish I’d earmarked for dinner while scanning Happy Rooster’s menu upon hearing the news that this 23-year-old former sous chef had taken over the kitchen for Jason Goodenough back in May. I didn’t care about the duck (even if it is slow-braised in chicken stock and

white wine fortified with smoky bacon). It was all about the honey butter. On gnocchi. Like a biscuit, but with pasta. Genius. So I walked toward the Happy Rooster for the seven thousand, eight hundred and fifty-fifth time, and I went in. Waxy late sun slunk in through the open windows, lighting the front room sympathetically. Still, there’s no hiding the four decades under this bird’s belt. You can see them, in the petrified collage of faded menus from fancy-shmancy restaurants in London and Rome. You can feel them, in the busted maroon booths so saggy you’d think elephants just had sex on them. A little Walt Wit in my cup, a little Phillies on the TV, a little gnocchi on my mind. I was happy to finally be here. Savastano’s potato dumplings arrived, and then I wasn’t. Where was the pasta I’d pictured, lightly glossed, faintly sweet MORE FOOD AND and fresh-herb freckled? Not here. These DRINK COVERAGE gnocchi were surrounded by a viscous, AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / mud-brown sauce, making them look like M E A LT I C K E T. innocent turtles caught in a sewage leak. There’s honey and butter in there all right, but mostly it’s the duck’s braising liquid, reduced until thuggish and dim and way too sweet. Snow peas, a curious addition, made the saccharine dish taste Asian-ish, truly capturing the spirit of a P.F. Chang’s. The actual gnocchi were the sole bright spot, soft and light as marshmallows; I’d love to try them again in a different sauce — say, a reduction of the finessed, coral-colored lobster broth surrounding a block of redfish, the best-cooked piece of fish I’ve had all year and a dish far more emblematic of Savastano’s abilities. The chef cuts a strapping fillet, tall and thick as a stud o-lineman,

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✚ Drew’s recipe is at citypaper.net/mealticket.

classifieds

³ MY CRAVINGS DON’T usually inspire decisive culinary action — so I knew I’d stumbled onto something rich after my first bite of zhang jian mian. Originating in northern China and considered something of a home cook’s staple in the cuisine of Beijing, there’s not a lot to zhang jian mian, which translates in Mandarin to “fried sauce noodles” but is touted on menus as “Noodle with Pork Soy Sauce” at Chinatown haunts like Nan Zhou (927 Race St.) and Yummy Lan Zhou (131 N. 10th St.). Aside from base flavor builders like white onion, garlic and scallion, it’s really nothing more than ground pork and soybean paste stewed into a meat sauce. And yet, just like a lovingly executed Italian bolognese has the means to crawl into your headspace and wrap your brain in a blissful blanket, it’s a dish with the ability to become so much more than the sum of its humble parts. In other words, it’s easy to fuck up. Aside from the rudimentary ground pork, the only thing you’ve really got to worry about when cooking zhang jian mian is the bean paste. Or in my case, bean pastes — I combined two, both made by the ubiquitous Union Foods brand carried in all Asian markets, to poke that proper balance of spicy, sweet and vegetal-funky right in its eye. The first variety, in the red jar: regular bean paste, which looks, smells and tastes a lot like hoisin. The second, in the orange jar: hot broad bean paste, which looks, smells and tastes a lot like fermented napalm. Yes, it is serious stuff on its own, but combined with the non-deathly-hallows red jar stuff, it mellows without wussing out completely. My own additions of brown sugar, raw sprouts and diced cucumber, the latter ingredient cooking to a glassy, fruity translucency, also tip the scales back toward chopstick bliss. Variations on this dish are endless, meaning you’ll have to experiment to make your Beijing bolognese your own. (drew.lazor@citypaper.net)

food

BEIJING BOLOGNESE

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

f&d

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✚ Home to Roost

[ food & drink ]

<<< continued from page 49

Do something with Dunkaroos and I’ll really be impressed. and gets its well-seasoned skin so crisp it crunched like a cracker. Plump, buttery mussels and sugar-bomb heirloom cherry tomatoes joined in, wanting to see what all the fuss was about and creating the effect of a minimalist bouillabaisse. No need for 17 specimens of seafood in this bowl; Savastano knows the value of one or two good ones, something chefs twice his age still haven’t learned. Schooled at the CIA in Hyde Park, the Northeast Pennsylvania native put in time at Supper, Chifa and Table 31, where he worked with Goodenough, before coming to the Happy Rooster. When Goodenough left for the Rooster, Savastano followed. And when Goodenough left here, Savastano found himself in executive whites when most of his peers are still working the salad station. Don’t think him some flashy hotshot, though; when Savastano lumbers upstairs from the basement kitchen to cop a bottle of booze (to cook with, of course) or refill his plastic quart container with water from the soda gun, the babyfaced chef looks almost sheepish. He’s got the right to swagger. Even bumps like a soupy vanilla custard and pallid fries scattered alongside a lobster roll can’t erase the sweet satisfaction of his grilled octopus, tender and smoky with grilled peaches, pine nuts and arugula, or his shirred eggs, a creambaked diet-killer lavished with lobster salad and shiny lobster glace. Noticing a recurring crustacean theme? Thanks to the Happy Rooster’s very popular lobster roll (a standby that is not his recipe), Savastano finds himself up to his claws in lobster shells and leftover scraps. What’s an intelligent, hardworking chef to do? Make lobster stock, all day, every day, and turn it into the powerful broths and glaces mentioned above. But if you want the pure lobster experience, that sandwich is the jackpot. The meat of a whole Maine crustacean goes into each top-split bun, and while its presence on the menu precedes Savastano’s in the kitchen, he still deserves credit for not overcooking the meat and not gooping it up with unnecessary bullshit. Just a little mayo, lemon for brightness and celery for crunch. The classy chicken cheesesteak was a close second in the sandwich department. Instead of slimy chicken slices, Savastano uses whole chicken breasts that are pan-roasted and chopped before being loaded with caramelized onions, mozzarella and shiitakes into a dense, chewy Metropolitan baguette — a cheesesteak you could take home to mom and dad. Fries came correct this time around. Browner, crunchier, saltier. The same adjectives applied to dessert, a malty, vanilla-bean-laced, boardwalk-style waffle mined with crushed pistachios (right in the batter!) and crowned with mildly sweet, nutty pistachio-vanilla ice cream. It’s glorious — homey and chic at the same time, a joyful thing to eat. Being 23 has its advantages, apparently; while so many chefs are trying too hard to rediscover the lost flavors of their youths, Savastano’s are still fresh in mind. I love that. Now do something with Dunkaroos and I’ll really be impressed. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

[ the week in eats ]

✚ WHAT’S COOKING

A Full Plate’s Rib Cook-Off Sat., Sept. 10, 11 a.m.-4

p.m., $20 ($10 ages 5-12) ³ Grab a bib and some wet naps as A Full Plate hosts its fifth annual rib cook-off in Liberty Lands Park along with NoLibs’ fall music festival. The challenge features three categories for both amateur and professional chefs — veggie quick-fire, anything goes and, of course, ribs. Winners of the lick-your-lips event are selected by a panel of judges (including Meal Ticket’s own Esther Martin). Desserts by Flying Monkey and bottomless beer from Philadelphia Brewing Co. (an extra $15) will also be available. A portion of proceeds will go to Teens 4 Good. Liberty Lands Park, 926 N. American St., 215-627-4068, afullplateannualribcookoff.com. South Philly Food Co-op Garden Tour Sat., Sept. 10

(rain date Sept. 11), 11 a.m.-3 p.m., $20 ($25 day of) ³ The South Philly Food Co-op presents its first-ever garden tour, a self-guided fundraiser supporting the neighborhood’s need for a fine-quality, locally sourced grocery store. A ticket allows you to view more than 18 public and private gardens within a five-mile radius of South Philadelphia as local businesses along the way contribute refreshments. Check-in day of at Urban Jungle for tour maps and details. Urban Jungle, 1526 E. Passyunk Ave., southphillyfoodcoop.org. Johnny Brenda’s Annual Pils Picnic Sat., Sept. 10,

noon-night, pay as you go ³ Johnny Brenda’s third annual end-of-summer beerfest is all about the pils as they tap a slew of the region’s offerings, like Town Lakes Route 52 Pilsner, Victory Braumeister Pils with Saaz Hops, Dock Street’s Bohemian and a firkin of Stoudt’s Pils. The nocover event also features picnic-style fare to chow down on — housemade hot dogs, fried chicken, deviled eggs and potato salad. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com. Center City District Restaurant Week Sun.-Fri., Sept.

12-16 and 18-23, $20 lunch; $35 dinner ³ With more than 100 participants, CCD’s Restaurant Week is back and partnering with Philly Homegrown in an effort to bring locally sourcedmenus to diners. Check out CCD’s site to see which of your favorite — or perhaps soon-tobe-favorite — restaurants are serving three-course lunch or dinner during the two-week event. Throughout Center City, centercityphila.org. —Nicole Rossi

gracetavern.com

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

[ i love you, i hate you ] A DREAM... A simple fantasy...you were a dream that I could never control or never get out of my head and I am just confused to how you entered my thoughts from the beginning. I know that you and I were only a summer fling and I wish you all the luck in the world with your fat girl “R” she will never appreciate you like I do and she will never fuck you and do all those things that I did for you. Keep having a fucked up sex life. I hope the both of you will be happy forever. But I just want you to know that combined both of your initials would of been A.A.C. That is fucking awesome! Take care!

open up to me and let me know what is going on... I love you so much and you already know that I put you on a pedestal along with my parents! You mean the world to me and nothing would be greater than to say that my last name is yours! When we are together you make me feel so good. I smile when you enter the house when I hear your voice. I know that I am in love with you... I just hope that you feel the same way about me! Forever ever yours, Boogie!

LADY ON TRAIN Now you know that you were too big to be sit-

lazy fucking bitch why can’t you get yourself up early enough to get off the damn bus and walk them over to make sure they at least get in the damn building. You make me sick, and if this town had good effect laws, I would slap the shit out of you!

LET’S START THE LOVE You make me jump every time I think about your big hands touching my body. I explode over and over in my mind. I can’t wait until you and I join a union and become one! Every now and then it is you and I alone, thinking and talking. I told you

BULLY You try to bully people in the restuarant and I am getting sick and tired of the shit! I am tired of all the gossip and sleeping around that goes on at this place! You asked me before I would have sex with you and your wife at the restuarant and I told you no, so why are you still asking. Once my boyfriend comes up to the restuaunt there is nothing that I can do to stop him and you are going to have to deal with the outcome! Find someone else’s tree to bark the fuck up on! We are tired of you and we are definitlely going to management about this situation. Wise up or get out!

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SHUT UP YOUR FACE! I hate you. You show up to the movies late, trying to find a seat in the dark, as you text on your cell phone. You always pick a seat near me. Then you talk, loudly, through the entire movie to your fat girlfriend. Your jokes aren’t funny, your observations are obvious, and if you rattle that bag of chips one more time, I swear, I’ll tear out your throat and make you eat that cell phone. Do you come into the movies trying to figure out who the unfortunate one will be that has to sit near you? Do you come to the movies to annoy people? Next time you kick my seat, I’ll ignite into flames and burn you till you’re nothing but bones. Somehow, though, I think you’d still find a way to be annoying. Please DIE!

FAT BITCH IN RED The other day I was riding the train going northbound on 56th Street and this fat bitch got on the bus eating a ham hoagie and talking really loud! I couldn’t believe that this was happening! Then she sat down in the back still eating now, talking about how nobody is going to do shit for her, You fat bitch first of all you need to do something for yourself like wash the fuck up and also curbing your mouth and how about sitting and shutting the hell up! I couldn’t believe that you had a daughter with you and she was trying to calm you down and you still kept talking smack! I hope to God you know that I pray that I don’t run into you again! I just can’t believe that a woman would act like that in front of her child!

INCREDIBLE LOVE Once in awhile you meet that special someone... I know that you are the one...I just want you to

I told you before to stop worrying about what people are saying behind your back. It really doesn’t matter does it? It makes me sick to think that you are just telling me that your blood pressure got pumped up because people were talking about you behind your back! Who the hell gives a fuck if someone was talking about you or not! I really personally don’t care, so why do you? You are about to turn 39 and to me that is a big deal. Why do you care about stupid stuff that just doesn’t matter. I want you to understand that this is your life. You need to take control. Move with it!

You play like your marriage is all peaches and cream down in Texas but you are full of shit. You know you are and I know that you are. I think that you being my friend on that stupid-ass Facebook is a waste of time. I don’t understand why you are in my life in the first place. I told you that I apologized for saying that your wife looks like a man, and that she was ugly. I think you probably think the same thing but you just can’t admit to it! If you happen to come up to Philly it is going to be under false pretenses. Go see your old haggard mom and don’t even bother calling me. Alright?

Who do you think that you are? I probably asked you that acouple of times and you declined to answer. You dumb-ass bitch I am tired of hearing you complain about stuff then try to use me for information that you don’t even use! Well why the fuck did you even bother to ask from the fucking beginning. I am tired of your mouth and all the negative shit that comes between that. Stop trying to use me because the games you are playing are fucking over and it stops here!

I don’t care that I’m your GF 3 times and one police call removed - it was a storm and stormz are romantic! DICK! Why couldn’t you just invite me over to watch cool movies in your room? “Dances With Wolves”, no?! Shiiiiit! I sat alone crying real human tears. I use this same face to smile at dogs! You know that’s how I make my money! SHIT! If we did watch “Dances With Wolves” your name would have been “Rude To Sensitive Girls In The Wind!”

NOT ON MY LEVEL

REMEMBER ME?

DON’T USE ME!

HURRICANE HATER

fed up with the whole situation. Thanks but no thanks!

YOU ARE SHADY!

ting by me on the train. Half of your body was hanging off the side of the seat. You rubbed your sweaty arm on my arm and when I got home I immediately poured some alcohol on my arm. Your sweaty pork eating ass! I could have slapped the shit out of you! People if you know that you can’t fit in a small space why would you try to fit. Use common sense!

LAZY MOTHER I get on the bus with your stupid ass every now and then and when I do see you I want to slap the shit out of you so fucking bad! You make me sick because you let two of your small children off the bus by themselves and you stay on the bus and anything could happen to them, God -forbid. You

wouldn’t it be strange if you and I were related that you and I...how we like the same things...we like the same things all the time...this is really making me nervous...but the sexy part which I hate to admit, is that if you were my cousin, I would probably still sleep with you...I know it’s gross, but I can’t get enough of you...

LOVE OF MY LIFE You were the love of my life....can’t you see that... I am good without you...you seem like you keep pressing the issue of being together never-mind us that...I am really tired of the whole thing. But, yet you keep pursuing me. I am going to get my new boyfriend to fuck you up when he sees your ass! Let’s let this go! I am really tired and really

I don’t like what you did. You brought the manager to me to ask me a dumb question. You stupid-ass bitch you made yourself look really dumb, stupid and confused. I don’t like the games that you are playing. You are old why don’t you face it you can’t play the young people games because you aren’t cleaver at it! I am going to keep you at arms length and not talk or play with you too much! I don’t know what your aim is but I know that I don’t want anything to do with it! Please stay away from me because I know that shady comes in all shades and genders!

✚ To place your FREE ad (100 word limit), go to citypaper.net/ILUIHU and follow the prompts. ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

BUYING COINS-Gold, Silver & ALL Coins, Stamps, Paper Money, Entire Collections worth $5,000 or more. Travel to your home. CASH paid. Call Marc 1-800-488-4175.

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from Home. *Medical *Business *Paralegal *Computers *Criminal Justice. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. Call 888-220-3984 www. CenturaOnline.com.

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jobs

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is seeking an experienced bartender who will be required to work day shifts. The ideal candidate will be an upbeat, motivated team player capable of working under effieciency guidelines. Please send a message with resume to hr5150@hotmail. com in order to apply. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Can you Dig It?â&#x20AC;? Heavy Equipment School. 3 wk training program. Backhoes, Bulldozers,Trackhoes. Local job placement asst. Start digging dirt now! 866-362-6497.

Help Wanted How to Get Up to $13,535.00 in Cash -Every Month- for Mailing 500 Dir t-Cheap Postcards...Or Letting Our Experts Do It!!! Amazing 7Minute Recorded Message Reveals Details: 1-800-4469060, Ext. 2919. Needed immediately for up-

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Land/ Lots for Sale LAND FOR SALE

Cozy Cabin on 5 Acres $19,995. Beautiful woodlands. Our best deal ever! Call 800229-7843 or visit www.landandcamps.com

Barry Fisher Electrician â&#x20AC;&#x153;LOWEST PRICES IN THE CITYâ&#x20AC;?

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Attn: Exp. Flatbed, Reefer & Tanker Drivers: GREAT PAY. Freight lanes from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA 800-277-0212 www.primeinc. com

Lessons & Workshops

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MATH,SAT AND SPANISH TUTORS

Expert Math Tutors, SAT prep and Spanish Tutoring. Tutor Delphia for private Tutoring in Philadelphia. Call 267-4820627

Train for high paying Aviation Maintenance Career. FAA approved program. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance (888) 8349715.

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lulueightball By Emily Flake

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Wills & Estates â&#x20AC;˘ Custody â&#x20AC;˘ Child Support â&#x20AC;˘ Small Business Divorce â&#x20AC;˘ Real Estate â&#x20AC;˘ Civil Actions â&#x20AC;˘ Auto Accidents Power Of Attorney â&#x20AC;˘ Domestic Partners

215-627-8200 PA â&#x20AC;˘ 302-777-2201 DE 521 S. 2ND ST. PHILA.,PA â&#x20AC;˘ APPT. ALSO AVAIL IN DE & NJ

BE SEEN BY MORE THAN 380,000 CITY PAPER READERS FOR AS LITTLE AS $40/WEEK. Publishing every Thursday, and highlighted with a colorful banner, your ad is sure to be seen!

Call Chris at 215.825.2486 or chris@citypaper.net to get started!

Brooker, Richardson, Dickerson, Lee and Associates

Criminal Law, Family Law, Immigration and Personal Injury â&#x20AC;&#x153;As long as I have any choice, I will stay only in a country where political liberty, toleration, and equality of all citizens before the law are the rule.â&#x20AC;? - Albert Einstein Free Consultation....Good Customer Service....Reasonable Prices.....Fights vigorously for Clients.

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P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | S E P T E M B E R 8 - S E P T E M B E R 1 4 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

DIRECTV Summer Special! 1 Year FREE Showtime! 3mos FREE HBO/Starz/Cinemax! NFL SUNDAY TICKET FreeChoice Ultimate/PremierPkgs from $29.99/mo. Call by 9/30/! 1-800-360-2254.

Business Services

Health Services

coming roles $150-$300/day depending on job requirements. No experience, all looks, 1-800-560-8672 A-109. For casting times/locations.

classifieds

UNIQUE ADOPTIONS. Let us help! Personalized Adoption Plans. Financial assistance, housing relocation and more. Giving the gift of life? You deserve the best. Call us first! 1-888-637-8200 24-hours hotline.

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com

creet! Jolene $1.00p/min 18+ V/MC 1-800-573-2995, www. jolenesbedroom.com

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

market place

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WANTED

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

&AIRMOUNT !NTIQUE 6INTAGE &LEA -ARKET This Sat, Sept 10th (Rain Date â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Sunday) Surrounding the Historic Eastern State Penitentiary 22nd & Fairmount/ Center City Phila 9AM til 5PM (But Early Birds Welcome) More Than 175 Vendors Featuring Antiques, Collectibles, Vintage Furniture, Antique Jewelry, Vintage Clothing & Accessoryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, Glassware, Pottery, Primitives & Much More! Free Admission / Handicap Accessible Parking Available In The Adjacent Lot More Info:

215 - 625 - FLEA (3532)

For Our Entire Fall / Winter Schedule, Log onto

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60 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

S E P T E M B E R 8 - S E P T E M B E R 1 4 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Use 2201 Fairmount Ave, 19130 for GPS Directions

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You may also contact us by email at study.Baltimore@parexel.com Or visit www.baltimoretrials.com You may also contact us by email at study.Baltimore@parexel.com Or visit www.baltimoretrials.com

LAND FOR SALE

FREE LIST of hunting land bargains in West Virginia. 100 acres & up. Loaded with wildlife. Lots of timber. Great investment. www.timberbargains.com

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rentals

Apartments for Rent

Washer and Dryer Included Quiet Street $850 a Month 1835 Dudley St Philadelphia PA, 19145 Please Call 215-518-1183

Homes 4XX HOFFMAN (PENNSPORT AREA)

Newly Renovated Modern 2 Bedroom, Hardwood Floors, New Carpet, New Tile Kitchen & Bath, Fridge, W/D, Yard. $795. Call Pete: 267-3070371 AVENUE OF THE ARTS

15TH/SPRUCE: BEAUTIFUL ART DECO HIGH-RISE

Large 3BDR home, ceramic tile kitchen & bath, fireplace, W/D, deck, large private yard with garden. A must see at $1,200/mo. Call: 215-4681047

NORTHERN LIBERTIES

Roommates

1Bdrm Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitch, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! From $1120/Mo. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789 306 B West Wildey St. 2 Bedrooms, A/C, hardwood floors, fireplace, intercom. $900 + Utilities. Call 215-520-1232. UNIVERCITY 2 BEDROOM $650

Large 6 rooms, Walnut duplex near PENN,shopping,transport ation,4jcush@gmail.com

One Bedroom 1717 SOUTH 5TH STREET

Modern 1 Bedroom/1 Bath, Hardwood Floors, Tile Kitchen & Bath, Deck, Fridge, Easy Parking, $650/Month, Call Pete: 267-307-0371

Three+ Bedrooms BEAUTIFUL 3 BEDROOM

Newly Painted Interior

ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com. ROOM FOR RENT

Room For Rent W/TV, W/D, Full Use of Kitchen and Bathroom! $70 Wk and Up. Call 267-496-0065

Real Estate Marketplace TAKEOVER PAYMENTS

on existing loans 20-50% OFF thousands of homes available. No Credit requirements. CALL today 805-683-8600 Please no section-8.

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the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food classifieds

merchandise market Artist Retiring Selling machinery, specialty tools & copper artwork. Call 856-563-0102

Cash for Comics: 1940-1970’s Collectors Welcome. 215-510-4372

Arcade video games pinball machine jukebox. Trade for home generator system tntquality@aol.com 215.783.0823

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.50 sf (215)365-5826 CABINETS GLAZED CHERRY Brand new, solid wood/dovetail. Crown molding. Can add or subtract to fit kitchen Cost $6400. Sell $1595. 610-952-0033 Grass Fed Beef Packages, 1/4 beef: $725, 1/2 beef: $1259. Call (717)5156160 email: beef@swissvillaLLC.com POOL TABLE Gorgeous 8’ solid wood 1" slate, lthr pckts, dec legs & access/ Nvr used, $4500, Sell $1495. 610-476-8889

OLD FILM CAMERAS WANTED 4 CASH Call 215-504-0101 or 215-870-5289

Laptops Net Ready, MS Office, Wireless From $170. 500 games $10, 610.453.2525

Sofa set: 6-piece, 2 chairs, 2 footstools, end tble Gd cnd. This End Up 610.688.8439

BD MATTRESS Luxury Firm w/box sprIng Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033

BDRM SET: Solid Cherry Sleigh Bed, Dresser, Mirror, Chest, & 2 Nite Stands. High Quality. One month old, Must sell. Cost $6000 ask. $1500. 610-952-0033 BED A brand new Queen pillow top mattress set w/warr. $229; Full $220; King $299. Memory Foam $295. 215-752-0911

Bedroom Set brand new queen 5 pc esp. brown $489. Del Avail 215-355-3878 FRIDGE - S/S, Ice, water, exc cond $450. Solid butcher block $250. 856.786.1670 New Mattress Sets: $99, Twin, Full or Queen. Delivery avail, 215-307-1950

LOST: BADGE, item #192, if found please return to Waring Elem., 18th & Green St’s

PIANO: Mason & Hamlin Studio Grand, 2007, A92652. 5 ft 8 in., black satin finish, includes stool. Moving, must sell! $22,500. Call 609-941-1758

Hot Tub 2011 6 person, 7ft. w/lounger 30 jets, waterfall, LED color lights. Factory warranty and cover. Still in wrapper. Cost $8000; Sell $3695. 610-952-0033

(2) Eagles Season Tickets: 8 games, Sec 132. Row 24. $2950. 609-685-2100 BUYING EAGLES SBL’s & TICKETS

CALL 215-669-1924

Eagles Season Tix (3): playoff rights, Sec. 243, Row 14, 30 yard line, 215-990-0486

EAGLES TIX - Season or Single Games At cost, 1st row, 2nd level. 267-975-4379

Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

American Bulldog/Pit Mix Pups - M & F. Born 7/10/11, $150. 215-768-0926 American Bulldog Pups, born 5/29, $600 267.408.2092 phillyamericanbulldog.com AMERICAN BULLDOG Pups: NKC/UKC, Parents on site, 7 M, 3 F, $1000. Taking deposits, call to reserve: 610-551-2673

AUSTRALIAN Shepherd Pups - beautiful, AKC, ch. parents, hlth guar, 215-482-6553 CANE CORSO PUPS: 4 months old, shots & wormed, 267-240-8435

GERMAN SHEPHERD PUPS - AKC S/W, Excellent European bloodlines www.kunzwald.com 215-527-8187 GERMAN SHEPHERD Pups - farm raised, shots & wormed, $325. 717-687-5236 German Shep Pups: ACA, s/w, nice guard dog,nice markings $195 717.442.5261 GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPIES - AKC, vet papers, shots, wormed, family raised, good bloodlines, $500, 610-273-3388 Golden Retriever pups, 4M, 3F, ready for new homes now, $350. (302)653-2047 Golden Retriever Pups 500 ready to go 215-768-5841 parents on site

C ane Corso Pups For Sale. ACA reg, wrmd, shots. $500 (267)259-2499 Cavalier King Charles Spaniels Pups AKC Champion Lines, New Litters Avail $800-$1500, 215-538-2179

CHOCOLATE LABS, AKC Pups, home raised, shots, vet checked. 717-821-2287 COLLIES - good w/ kids, vet exams, AKC beauties. SW, Blue, Tri, 856-825-4856 DACHSHUND - Mini, 2 males, AKC, $450, call Shawn, 318-217-9266 Doberman Pups, cropped, $1500 & up adrkdobermans.com 856-287-6840

ENGLISH BULLDOG Puppies - ACA, s/w, health checked, $1200, 717-354-5771

Rottweiler: AKC, sire German bloodline, shots, wormed, $800. 717-445-6751 Rottweiler pup, AKC, male, vet checked, adorable, $850. Call 610-286-5213 Rottweiler Pups - ACA, family raised, vet checked,wormed, $600. 717.445.9158 SHELTIES AKC, bi blue small F 12 wks, blue males 11 wks, gorgeous colors, vet checked, health guarantee. 610-838-7221 SHIH TZU Pups - ACA, shots, wormed, vet checked. $400. 717-813-1580 SHIH TZU YORKIE HYBRID: 2 lovely F, affectionate pups, 3 mo., great temp. $500. www.myminisuki.com 215-275-9297 Yorkie mix & Malshi puppies, 2 year health guarantee, $475+ (610)913-0393 YORKIE PUPPIES - AKC, Male, 10 weeks, shots & wormed, $650, 302-697-3515 YORKIE PUPPIES: home raised, AKC reg. Starting at $650, 215-490-2243 Yorkie pups ACA, adorable, health guaranteed, $450. 610-286-9076 YORKIE PUPS: ACA, cute, friendly, ready now, $450. Call 717-283-6783 YORKIE PUPS - ACA registered, family raised, s/w, 1 M, 1 F, $550, 717-354-5336 YORKIE PUPS AKC, shots, F Toys, $1000. Also large pup, $850. (215)824-3541 YORKIES - AKC, 2 Females, 1 Male, shots, ready, $800, 856-430-9017

1100 S 58th St. Studio, 1br & 2br apts newly renov, lic #362013 267-767-6959

52nd & Montgomery nice 2Br $700+utils 2 mo security+1 mo rent. (484)278-4025

56xx W. GIRARD lge 2+ BR , 3rd fl, w/w, new paint, refrig, $650+ 267-645-9421

WANTED: EAGLES SEASON TICKETS. Top $ paid. Call 800-786-8425

* * * 215-200-0902 * * *

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ REALLY PAID

** Bob 610-532-9408 **

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

Diabetic Test Strips! $$ Cash Paid $$ Local pick-up, Call Martin 856-882-9015 JUNK CARS WANTED Up to $250 for Junk Cars 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903 SAXOPHONES, WWII, SWORDS, related items, Lenny3619@aol 609.581.8290

WILL PAY YOU!!

If you remember Danny’s Pub, Jumps Inn or Dirty Dancing at Richmond & Allegheny. 215-859-8354

jobs

58th & Florence 2 BR $690+utils 54th & Greenway 3 BR house $750+utils newly renovated. Call 215-432-3144 Southwest/ North Philly Two 1BR 1BA $600 267-265-6817. All utilities included. Available ASAP

42nd & Girard 1 Large BR $575+elec or $150/wk. newly renov, (267)808-4537 4xx N. 51st St. 3BR $760+utils Beautiful home, 201-362-9342 50th & Haverford 1BR $560 & up Lg kitch & bath, sec+rent.215-747-4049 53rd & Media 1 BR $525+ utils cozy 1st flr, 1st/last/sec, (215)473-0231 540 N. 52nd St. 1 BR Newly renov. 267-767-6959 lic# 333911

58th & Lansdowne 2 BR $600+ utils newly painted, Call 610-864-6315 9xx Belmont Ave 1 BR $600 Also 2 BR, & Studio avail, 215-284-7944 9xx S 58th St lg 2 BR $600+ utils great condition, sec. 8 ok 215-416-5862

Belmont Ave Efficiency $525+ elec $1050 mve in,cats welcome 215.779.0363 Parkside Ave 1 br bi-level & 2br $900 New: granite countertops, appliances, hdwd flrs & central air. Call 215-219-1715

38xx Fairmount Av 1br/1ba ap fee $50 non refund. $500. 215-964-8157

50th & Osage Ave 1BR $700+utils privt entrance & hrdwd flrs, 215-747-3157

8xx Wynnewood Rd 2br $695+ Newly renov, new w/w cpt. 215.908.4613 Caregiver des pos. in caring for elderly adults. A+, exc refs. Call 215-528-8625 Gentleman w/Truck Desires Work Moving & Junk Removal. 215-878-7055

1, 2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY - PARKING 215-223-7000

13xx W Allegheny 2BR $625+util Newly renovated, A/C 215-221-6542 17th & Ontario 1br $550 2 months security, Call 215-290-8702 18xx Glenwood 1 BR $500+utils 2nd flr duplex, credit check 215-878-9309 29xx N. Woodstock 1 BR $600 all utils incl, $1200 move in, 267.259.4477 9xx Lehigh Ave 1br Efficiency $400+util 1st/last/sec. 3rd flr walkup (267)255.2174

Rockland St. 1 BR $550+elec Rooms also avail, $90/wk. 267-444-5274

5636 Walnut Studio: $400, 1 BR: $575, newly renovated, Call 215-778-2862

50th & Catharine 3BR $1,200+utils hrdwd flrs, W/D, side entr. 215-747-3157

Housekeeper, errands, PT-FT, 5 yrs exp, refs,car,bkgd chk,Overbrook,215.290.2100

17xx W Tioga St. 3br +den $750 super large & modern (215)409-8383 25xx N 18th St. 2 BR $480+ utils Call Gene for appointment, 215-525-6315

Golf View Apts nw carpets 1br/1ba $695 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900 Various 1, 2 & 3 BR Apts $595-$850 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

5217 C Street, 2nd floor 1BR,1BA $675 includes heat&water. Need 1st/last & security. Paula 267-242-1706. 60XX Warnock 1 BR $595+ near Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534 Melrose Park 2 BR/1 Ba $715+ utils 1st floor, private parking, free washer/dryer use, call 215-264-2725 Residential Life: Studio, 1Br & 2Br apts Spacious & Bright Apts near LaSalle Univ. Regional Leasing Office-5600 Ogontz Ave Call or Come in M-F 9a-5p 215.276.5600 Section 8, Students & Seniors Welcome.

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $705-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 1xx W Hansberry St. 1br $425+elec 1st flr, $1275 move in. 267-978-8480 4617 Wayne Ave 1br $450 incl heat/ht wtr, large renovated eat-in kitchen. 215-303-3605 or 215-416-2757 5220 Wayne Ave. Studio, 1 BR & 2 BR newly rehab, 267.767.6959, Lic# 507568 607 E. Church Lane 1 br & 2br apts nr LaSalle Univ,267.767.6959 lic# 494336 Greene St 1 BR $685 bi lvl $720+ util country setting, Call 610-287-9857

English Bulldog male, ACA, 6 mo. old, health certified, excellent disposition, very pretty, $1250/obo. Call (717)629-8137

GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPS - AKC, shots, wormed, vet checked, family raised, ready to go now! $600, 610-286-0062 GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPS Reg., vet checked, both parents on site, 5 female, 2 male, ready now, $750. 570-205-0011 HAVANESE Pups, AKC, non allergic, 4M, 3F, ready for new homes 302-492-3216 Labs (Chocolate) AKC, shots/wormed, vet checked, rdy 9/1, $500. 610.286.7749 Mini Pincher Pups ACA, healthy, great watch dogs, vet chk’d, family raised, $400. 610-589-5445 no Sunday calls NEAPOLITAN MASTIFF pups, 9 weeks old, shots, papers, 215-882-4270 OLD ENGLISH BULLDOG PUPS: registered, M/F, s/w, $1500, 267-259-0187

Pembroke Welsch Corgie ACA reg., Goolden Doodles, all puppies S/W, farm raised, ready 9/18. $800. 717-627-0668 Pitbull Puppies (Blue nose). 5 girls & 2 boys avail. Price negotiable 267-253-5129 PIT BULLS - Razor Edge, blue/blue brindle, $500-$700, 215-303-5262 PIT BULL TERRIERS Blue and Champagne pups avail, ready to go, 8 wks, shots, papers, $500. 215-242-3563

Balwynne Park 2 BR $840+ W/D, C/A, W/W, Garage. 484-351-8633

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | S E P T E M B E R 8 - S E P T E M B E R 1 4 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

pets/livestock

English Bulldog Pups, parents on premises, papers, shots, de-wormed, vet certified, Call 215-696-5832 (Bensalem) German Shepherd Pups - AKC. lg boned, champ sired, F. 609-351-3205

12xx S. 17th 2br $585+ new paint & carpet, call 610-710-1986

57xx Springfield Ave 1br $600+utils 1st floor, 267-320-3243 or 215-724-3806

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

everything pets

apartment marketplace

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

apartment marketplace Mt. Airy & Germantown: 1 & 2 BR Starting at $625, newly renov., beautiful apts, close to trans. Call 215-740-8049 The Fieldview Apts: 705-15 Church Ln Comfortable Living- Historic Germantown 1br $750, 2br $850 Gas,Water,Heat Free Close to Septa,Grocery,Eatery & LaSalle U. Call for appt. 215-276-5600 M-F 9-5

2103 Chelten (2) 1 BR apts $650 completely renovated, call 215-284-5394 63xx Gardenia St. 1 BR $600+utils 1st flr, duplex, EIK, garage. 302-312-3835

2xx W. Grange 3 BR/1.5 BA $745+ utils, beautiful apt, yard, 215-805-6455 67xx Woolston Ave 1br $525+utils w/w crpt, private entry, move in cond, avail now, $1050 move in 215-758-7129

Frankford & Castor 1BR $495+utils wall/wall, $1485 move in, 215.743.0503

35xx Frankford Ave 2br $550 1st & 2nd flr apts, sec 8 ok 215-335-3615 7333 Sackett St. 1br $600+utils remodeled, 1st floor. 215-259-8666 Hegerman St. 1 BR/1 BA $625 Fully Renovated. Call 215-852-9738 Margaret St. 1 BR $695+ utils beautiful, newly remodeled, 215-526-1455

153x W. Erie Ave $385 incl utils, cable, internet, kitchen access (267)269-0976. 16th/Hunting Park. Furn. rms, share kit &BA $100/wk $300 move in 215.669.3143 16th & Lehigh, 21st & York, 22nd & Allegheny - $325/mo. SSI ok. 215-485-8815 16xx S. 18th St. Modern mid size rm, w/w crpt, near transp. $85/wk. (215)760-5230 18xx N 24th St Rooms $500- $600+dep, Lg clean, furn’d room, comm kit, all utils incl, easy access to trans, 267-809-3809 21st & Allegheny: Fully Furn Luxury Rms. Free utils/cable, Call 267-331-5382 21xx W. Somerset St. - Rooms, Use of kitchen, $400/mo. SSI ok. 267-357-5454 22nd & Dauphin rooms for rent $75$100. $300 to move in. 267-972-2874

22ND & LEHIGH, $85/week, share kitchen & bath, SSI OK, call 267-973-0397 22xx N. Woodstock - $350/month, utilities included, SSI ok, 267-210-5381 24th & Allegheney Ave micro, bed, fridge $80 & 100wk; 17th & Ontario furn, shared kitch & BA $110/wk 267-228-1143 or 44 24th & Lehigh: Nice, clean Furn rms, $325/mo, SSI ok. No drugs. 215-768-2466 25xx Ingersoll St: $85/week and up. Furnished. Call 267-338-9709 2745 Germanttown Ave Luxury Room for rent $250/mo. Hank (267) 974-9271 27xx N. Oxford St, 29th & Cecil B Moore, $90-$100/week, 267-816-3058 29xx 7th St. & 16xx Orthodox St. Rooms, $100-$125/wk, 267-622-1426 29xx N. 23rd St., nice room, quiet block, shared kit/ba, $100/wk. 267-259-4477

29xx OXFORD St. - Large Rooms $75 & up. SSI ok, no drugs. 215-240-9499

2217 E. Cumberland studio & 2 BR Newly renov. 267-767-6959 lic# 356258

6724 Torresdale Ave 3 BR $750+ utils call 215-725-7079

62 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

S E P T E M B E R 8 - S E P T E M B E R 1 4 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Academy Rd. 1 BR $800 private w/d, d/w, close to I-95 & train. Security + reference check. 267-716-5733 Bustleton Hald Vic 2br/1.5ba $850+utils 2nd flr, central air, w/w, d/w, garage, back yd, avail 10/1, 215-429-9310, lv msg

Castor Gardens 1Br $625 Academy Gardens 2Br,$780 215.350.2338 Philmont 2 BR duplex, 2nd flr $820+ C/A, bsmnt, yard, garage, (215)752-1091 PHILMONT HEIGHTS 2 BR 1st flr $795 new kitch, w/w & paint, gar, 267.467.1596 Rhawnhurst 3br/2ba $975+ Large 2nd floor duplex, dish/washer, garb/disp, a/c, new paint, 215-354-0069

Morrisville 1br $860 heat/hot water inc 2nd flr, off-st. parking, a/c, no pets, yard, close to Rt 1, I-95, turnpike 215.736.8864

WARMINSTER Lg 1-2-3 BR Sect. 8 OK Great Move-in Specials!! Pets & smoking ok. We work with credit problems. Other unit sizes available. Call for Details: 215-443-9500

Paoli 1br heat & hot water included off st prkg, hdwd flrs, (610)783-7726

Penn Valley 1 BR/1 BA $1100 Tower at Oakhill , includes all utilities & amenities, available immed 610.296.5766

11xx N 55th St Single rms, $400, rms w/BA $500, rms w/ BA & kitch $600. Full size bed, dresser, fridge, SSI/SSD ok. S, W, SW, N. Phila & Frankford 267-707-6129

30th & Dauphin vic rooms 267-975-4602 or 215-763-6951

30th & Lehigh: Unfurnished, $120/week, $360 move in. Call 215-983-6144 34th & Baring room with DirecTV Use of kitchen, 215-620-3846 37XX N 19th St Efficiency $450/mo very small, furnished, (215)409-8383 40XX Haverford furnished rms for rent Seniors Place $400/mo. 267-601-6855 41xx Old York Rd., lg furn rms, nwly ren, w/w $85-$100/wk, must see 215-552-5200 42xx Frankford, $450/mo 2nd Flr rm, private entr, kit & Ba, clean 267-979-0413 4521 N Broad, lg rm, $425/mo, $200 sec. dep, 267.595.5089 or 856.553.2094 45th & Lancaster; 63rd & Market; 52nd & Race; 29th & Cumberland. 21st & Mckean. SSI/disab. ok, Call 215-290-8702 45xx Frankford Ave $400/mo, SSI ok, microwave, fridge no drugs 267.670.6689 4xx N. Redfield Rooms for rent 1BR 1BA $80 per wk 267-648-6074 507 E. Walnut Lane - Room for rent, $125/wk, utils included. 215-760-0206 • 55th & Media • Hunting Park • 55th & Girard • 54th & Lancaster Share Kitchen & Bath, $350 & up No sec dep, SSI OK. 215-758-7572 55th/Thompson furn $115/$135 wk frig micro priv ent $200 sec. 215-572-8833 63rd St N., large master BR, $120/week, 1 person only, 215-747-7537 652 Brooklyn, $125 week. $375 to move in. Furn w/refrige, no kitch 215-781-8049

A1 Nice, well maintained rms, N & W Phila. Starting @ $115/wk 610-667-0101 ALLEGHENY $90/wk, $270 sec dep Near L train, furn, quiet. 609-703-4266 Broad & Hunting Park, lg furn room, newly renov, must see, $100/wk, 215-552-5200 Broad & Olney deluxe furn rms priv ent. $110 & $145/wk Sec $200. 215-572-8833 BROAD ST. AREA-rms starting at $95 & up No drugs Other loc avl. 215-252-2839 Broad St & Huntington Park 2-ROOMS for rent. Attn: affordable furnished ROOMS $500-S550 /mo. FREE RENT for September 2011. Security Deposit required. SINGLE OCCUPANCY ONLY! Go to YouTube; www.safehavenhomesllc.net AL: 267-235- 6555

homes for rent East Mt. Airy, fully furn rm, microwave and refrige, TV, close to public trans, near the Shops at Lasalle $110wk 215.438.5309

Frankford, room in apt, furn, no drugs, near El, $85/wk+ $300 sec. 215-526-1455 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (215)548-6083

Germantown,furn rms, renovated, share kitch & BA, $125/wk. 215-514-3960

14xx N. 29th 3BR/1.5BA $1100. large BR’s, nice yard 215-519-5437

15xx S. Bailey, Gray’s Ferry 3br/1 ba $775 new crpts flooring, fresh paint. Conv block. Big patio. 215-228-1060. 21xx Mountain St. 2 BR $850 newly remodeled. 2 mo sec. 215-805-1145 23xx Greenwich St Pt. Breeze. 3BR 1BA $775 New Heater, H/W flrs, carpet up stairs. Back patio. 215-228-1060 23xx S Beulah, S Philly 2BR 1BA $800 215-228-1060 Very Nice. Central Air. Lots of closets. Carpets. Big back patio.

Germantown Rms, $120/wk utils inc, shared kit/ba, $500 move in 215.849.5861 GERMANTOWN: Rooms from $80$150/week. Priv. ent./bath. 267-593-2131 Hunting Park, Kensington, Oak Lane, Olney, W. Phila, S. Phila, NE Phila. $85$125/wk. Great loc. SSI ok. 215-668-4812 LaSALLE UNIV. Area. - Renovated, HW floors, 1.5 Shared BA, full shared kitchen, Patio. 215-850-6618, Max

Marvine St & Various areas: $90/week & up, SSI OK. 215-490-3977 N. CUMBERLAND spacious room, share ba, kit. sep. ent. SSI accptd 267-516-6235 Northeast & North Philadelphia $100-$125/wk. 2 furnished, renov rms. Use of 2 full BA, kit, cable ready. Seniors welcome, Drama free loc. 267-593-4869 North Philadelphia $400 mo or $100 week Use of kitchen, call 215-820-9627 North Phila furn rooms w/bathroom, $400/mo., call LB 267-808-7513

10xx S 51st 4BR $875+ utils nwly renov, hdwd, sec. 8 ok 215.416.5862 12xx S Bonsall St 3br $800 Newly renov 1st, last, sec 215-483-4344 26xx S. 70th St. 3 BR Section 8 ok nice 3br, 732-267-2190 or 215-839-9211 56xx Litchfield St 3 br/1 ba $700+utils renovated, near transport. 267-574-6591

1661 Robinson St 3 BR $725 Brown St. 1 BR apt, $500/mo, NO DRUGS! Call 267-259-0430 201 N Wilton St 2xx N Wilton St 4BR 1BA HW flrs new kit&bth $800 $2,400 req’d to move in. 215-919-8700 38xx W. Girard Ave 5 BR/2 BA $1000 rear deck, $3000 move in, 215-365-4567 53xx Malcolm 3Br/1Ba $850/mo Section 8 OK. Call 215-313-3322 56th & Girard 1 BR discount $500+ utils, carpet, info, 215-879-6666 59xx Pine St. 4 BR Section 8 ok newly renov, w/d, d/w, c/a, 215.668.9954 60th & Race 3 BR $750 newly decorated, (215)747-8150 6xx N. 42nd St. 3 BR back yard, Section 8 ok, 215-356-2434

N. Philadelphia, 3 rooms for rent, SSI ok, $350/mo, (215)900-4957

N Phila furnished room, $100/wk. $400 to move in. Call (215)221-4737

25xx N Gratz St 3br/1ba $695+utils washer, lrg kitch, sec 8 ok (215)425-3696

N Phila Furn, Priv Ent $75 & up, for SSI & Vets no security req. 215-763-5565 N. Phila: Newly renovated, private entry use of kitch $90-$125/wk 267.702.8688 N. Phila Room for Rent furnished room, Call (267)978-5575 Olney 5972 N Norwood lg furn rms cpt nr trans,kit,w/d,DISH $90wk+ 516.527.0186 Overbrook Newly renovated, large furnished rm, all utils inc. 215-879-2570

3315 W. Sargeant Street 3BR $750 215-385-1349 North Philadelphia 2BR 1BA HOUSE $625. 267-265-6817 Available Asap.

SW and West Philadelphia $100-$150 priv rm & ba, clean & new. 267-597-1536 SW,N, W Move-in Special! $90-$125/wk Room sharing avail. SSI ok, 215-220-8877 SW Phila room 58th & Beaumont newly renov. $120 week. 347-262-3485 SW Phila: Rooms, $90-$120/wk, private fridge & microwave incl, 610-717-2450 Tioga/Temple Hospital Area: large,clean rooms for rent, no drugs. 215-225-4109 W. & N. Phila. nice rooms, well maint., kitchen privileges, utils incl 215-350-6626 W. Phila Furn Rms, SS & Vets welcome, No drugs, $125/wk & up 267-586-6502 W Phila, Furn Rms, starting $100,util inc, shared kit & ba,clean,SSI ok 215.888.3050

7xx E. Tioga 3 BR $695 Newly renovated, Sec 8 ok, 215-335-3615

25XX Tulip St. 2BR/1BA 215-676-3934

$1000.

50xx Ditman 4 BR Section 8 approved, 215-205-9910 57xx Tulip 2br Section 8 approved, 215-205-9910

61xx Loretto 3br/2.5ba $950 & $1100 w/ finished basement, Call 215-601-5182 9xx Carver 3BR $750 avail 9/1, nr schl, new paint 610.710.1986

50xx N Sydenham 3br/1.5ba $1000/mo nr Temple/Lasalle, 2mo sec 215.620.4708

56xx 19th St. 3 BR/1.5 BA $1300+utils new kitchen, hrdwd flrs throughout, near LaSalle, avl Sept-May only. 215-924-6509

4338 N Franklin St. 3BR/1.5BA $750+ basement, porch, yard. Call 215-917-0020 4455 N Gratz St. 3 BR $750+ sec newly renovated, w/w crpt, 267.581.8393

53xx Wingohocking Tr 5BR/2BA $1500 Section 8 ok, 917-863-8624

14xx E Weaver St. 3BR $1200 +utils w/w, A/C, mod kit/BA, gar, clean bsmnt, quiet block,$3600 move in, 215-758-7129

86xx Thouron 3BR $1050 corner prop,grt loc,avail now610.710.1986

MUSTANG GT Conv. 1999 $14,500 obo 35th Anniv. Edt, 68k, ex con, 215.698.1313

YUKON DENALI V8 2005 $18,000 70k mi,ex cond,runs great, 267.304.6652

DISCOVERY SE 2003 $6950 luxury 4 dr all extras, orig miles, recently serviced, quick private sale 215-627-1814

MERCEDES BENZ ML 320 2001 4 door with sunroof, super mint cond, well maintained, garage kept, woman driver, must sac TODAY $6950. 215-928-9632

PASSAT 2006 $13,000 48k mi, excel. condition, 610-585-4666

Cottman/Castor vic. 3br/1.5ba $1000+ utils, Free Storage! 267-401-7375 Monte Carlo ’10: 40’, 4 slides, 2br, $28k /bo, w/d, c. ht/air, extras 610.470.7039 COLLINGDALE 3 BR/1 BA $900+ utils security deposit, avl now, 610-353-6705

$300 & Up For Junk Cars Call 215-722-2111

JUNK CARS & TRUCKS

SKIPPACK 3br/2.5ba $1425+ conv to 73 & village, Call 610-458-8205

$200 Cash & Up (267)241-3041

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

7xx E Tioga garage non comm’l, storage only $150mo Appl/dep req 215-335-3615

Family of 3 with 5 cats looking to rent long-term, up to $750. Must be 3BR, Harrowdate area. 215-537-0689

FORD F-150 PICKUP 2003 Best Offer Luxury, 4 door crew cab, extended body, full power, a/c, original miles, garage kept, owner sacrifice today, considerably less than book value. 215-922-2165

low cost cars & trucks BMW 540 1997 $4500/obo New black paint, moonroof, heated seats, new inspection. Call 215-917-2262

Cadillac Sedan Deville 1994 $1500 80K miles, looks/runs good 267-684-8191

Ford Aerostar XLT 1995 asking $1250 7 pass., loaded, clean, CD. 215-280-4825 FORD Taurus GL 1997 $1450 4 dr, loaded, clean, sunroof, 215.518.8808

Penrose & SW Rooms: $75 & up SSI & Disability ok. (267)784-0302 S. Phila Furn Rms SS & vets welcome. No drugs, $100 & up, 267-595-4414

35xx Pennhurst St. 3Br/2Ba $750+utils fresh paint, rear yard, avail ailable now. Call (215)514-7778

Chevrolet Suburban 2500 ’94 $3995 4WD, 7.4L, 77k., tow pkg, 610-931-2193 Broad & Diamond 2 BR $750 newly renovated, Sec. 8 ok,215-463-6366

automotive

20xx E Madison St. 4br/1ba Sec 8 ok no pets, yd, porch, oil ht 215-335-3615

Lincoln TownCar 2000 Signature Series, Luxury 4 door, original miles superb condition, not exagerrated, quick private sale, $4950. Call 215-629-0630 Merc Mountaineer AWD V8 1998 $3300 97K, lthr, mnrf, insp, like new 267-595-7186 MITSUBISHI Galant 2003 $2700/obo loaded, runs great, clean 267-441-4612 SATURN SE Coupe 1999 $1500/obo insp,cold A/C,all pwr,rns ex 267.600.8295 SATURN Wagon 1999 $1400 great on gas, clean, PW, PL, 215.920.2246 VOLVO V70 Wagon 2000 $2675 moonroof, lthr, CD, silver 267-592-0448

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