Philadelphia City Paper, December 29th, 2011

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contents It’s easy being green

Naked City ...................................................................................4 Cover Story ..............................................................................10 Arts & Entertainment

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The Agenda ..............................................................................27 Food & Drink ...........................................................................34

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COVER ILLUSTRATION BY EVAN M. LOPEZ DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

[ NEW AND IMPROVED ]

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Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Associate Editor and Web Editor Drew Lazor Arts & Movies Editor/Copy Chief Carolyn Huckabay Associate Editor Josh Middleton Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Ryan Carey, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Cindy Fuchs, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Gair “Dev 79� Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Cassie Owens, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Robin Rice, Lee Stabert, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West Editorial Interns Chris Brown, Francesca Crozier-Fitzgerald, Anna Pan, Alexandra Weiss, Brian Wilensky Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Editorial Designer Alyssa Grenning Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designer Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Advertising Director Eileen Pursley (ext. 257) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Kevin Gallagher (ext. 250), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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naked

the thebellcurve

city

CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ 0]

A healthy newborn girl is found in a cardboard box in North Philly. The child was protected from the elements by a kindly yarnbomber.

[ -2 ]

A music student accidentally leaves a rare, $172,000 violin on a Megabus from Boston to Philadelphia; it is eventually recovered. Meanwhile, a Peter Pan bus hauls a corpse up and down the coast for a week before anybody notices.

[ -3 ]

A 6-foot menorah, missing from a park in Haddonfield, is believed to have been stolen by scrappers. “We thought it would take about a day to melt it down, but it ended up lasting over a week. It’s a miracle.”

[ -2 ]

Officials say a defective halide lamp was the cause of 150 cases of eye irritation at a Northeast Philly cheerleading competition. Thankfully a thick AquaNet fog had rolled in that night, shielding attendees from the most harmful UV rays.

[0]

City Councilman Bill Green says the recently overhauled School Reform Commission should be replaced by a mayoral-appointed school board. In the brief silence that follows, he adds: “I also have an opinion on the nature of dark matter.”

[0]

The mayor of Hummelstown, the small Pennsylvania town where Newt Gingrich grew up, says the community is “bracing for the media onslaught” that might come if he wins the Republican nomination. “The way Jonestown braced itself. We’re, uh, we’re pretty ashamed of him.”

[ 3]

The proposed state law banning texting while driving will supersede Philadelphia’s more strict cell phone ban. Also, you’ll be allowed to smoke in restaurants again. And every citizen is automatically declared a licensed handgun dealer. Plus PGW and the Water Department will share pipes and we’ll all drink hot and cold running gas.

[ +6 ]

Mayor Nutter signs a new law updating the city’s 50-year-old zoning code. “Aw, man,” sighs John Street. “It says here I’m stuck in the friendzone.”

[ + 3]

Occupy Philly plans to throw giant New Year’s Eve party. Runs from 8 p.m. to ?? Location subject to change. BYOBO.

-

This week’s total: -1 | Last week’s total: -7

EVAN M. LOPEZ

[ hardship ]

CUT TO THE BONE Federal rollbacks, slashing funding to Philly housing programs by a third, could be devastating for low-income homeowners. By Daniel Denvir

O

ne hundred forty miles away, in Washington, D.C., Republicans in Congress last month congratulated themselves on hammering out a conservative fiscal 2012 budget — a victory that entailed deep cuts to spending on urban and social issues. But here in Philadelphia those same cuts have sent programs that shelter the homeless, help the poor and people with disabilities repair and retrofit their homes, and assist residents facing foreclosure spiraling into crisis. In next year’s budget, there will be far less money to meet a growing need for housing-related services, which could mean a mushrooming number of homes that will leak and crumble, and a boom in the homeless population due to increased foreclosures. Funding provided by the stimulus package has also largely run out. “It’s going to be tough,” says Michelle Lewis, president of Northwest Counseling Service, which assists Philadelphians facing foreclosure. “A reduction in staff. A reduction in resources available to help the residents. That’s going to be determined agency by agency. For many, it will put them out of business. For us, it won’t put us out of business, but it will have a devastating impact.” The fiscal year that begins in July will be the second consecutive year of deep cuts to two major federal programs that Philadelphia

relies on for housing aid: The Community Development Block Grant (CDBG), the primary direct federal funding source for a broad range of city programs, will decline 11 percent; and the HOME Investment Partnerships Program, which provides cities funds to construct and rehabilitate homes for the poor, will fall by 39 percent. Together, they’ll be cut by a projected $17 million in Philadelphia, and $1 billion nationwide. The spending reductions create only modest savings in the federal budget, but are acutely painful for cash-strapped cities struggling to cope with decades of disinvestment, decline and now economic crisis. Since 2010, congressional Republicans have made deficit reduction the centerpiece of their agenda, focusing their cuts on programs that assist poor and working-class citizens. As a result, Philly’s federal housing funding is down 33 percent from just two years ago. “It’s basically the safety net that’s slowly being eroded at the federal level, and it’s creating more and more of a challenge for us taking care of our citizens,” says City Councilman Darrell Clarke. Philadelphia once again faces difficult choices about how to spend its shrinking annual budget — and many of the tough cuts the city may be forced to make due to reduced federal allocations could trigger further declines, according to Rick Sauer, executive director of the Philadelphia Association of Community Development Corporations. The city’s decreasing capacity to deal with housing issues, for example, could result in more abandoned

“Basically the safety net is slowly being eroded.”

>>> continued on page 6

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[ a million stories ]

✚ RAILROADED Built circa 1697, the arched stone bridge that carries Frankford Avenue over Pennypack Creek in Holmesburg is the oldest of its type in the country. It’s on the National Register of Historic Places, and Fred Moore, president of the Holmesburg Civic Association (HCA), is trying to get a state historic marker for it. Which is one reason Moore is so irate about another bridge — with a very different aesthetic — just a block away. For about six years now, community groups have been pushing Conrail to paint the rusty-looking rail trestle that crosses Frankford Avenue near Solly Avenue; Conrail’s been pushing back.Which is why the latest edition of the HCA newsletter reads, “We care about our bridge but Conrail paint your bridge” (in capital letters and peppered with a total of 30 exclamation points). Worth noting is that a local group, Major Artery Revitalization Committee (MARC), was going around painting such trestles six or seven years ago. But when they painted a different Conrail bridge, the company asked them to desist, according to Moore. Which leaves Holmesburg’s bridge the lone unpainted “eyesore,” as Moore sees it, a drag on an already-struggling neighborhood. “It’s so important, right in the middle of the entrance to our village of Holmesburg. And they stonewalled us.” Moore says Conrail recently told the HCA it could make a proposal to paint the bridge itself, but the cost — $12,000, plus liability insurance — was prohibitive. John Enright, a Conrail spokesman, says it’s not the company’s policy to paint its trestles, even if they do become unsightly. “Painting them doesn’t prolong the life or assist in the structural integrity of the bridge. From a maintenance standpoint, painting

hallmonitor

doesn’t really serve any purpose.”

HCA has also been appealing to the city, which had been known to work with groups like MARC in the past. But Tom Conway, Philly’s deputy managing director, says the city no longer intercedes in such matters. And in any case, there’s the cost of closing the road and a nearby SEPTA route to consider. “It’s a long, drawn-out process, and it would take a lot of lawyers,” he adds. Still, Moore sees it differently. “What a mess,” he says. “It doesn’t have to be this way.” —Samantha Melamed

✚ GOODBYE KITTY After Eastern State Penitentiary was closed as a prison in 1971, a caretaker named Dan McCloud would go there three times a week. On each visit, “I put out a gallon of milk, a gallon of water, and 10 to 12 pounds of dry food,” he can be heard saying on an old audio tape. McCloud was feeding the colony of feral cats that took up residence in the sprawling grounds. He did this for 28 years. Eastern State has since become a historic attraction, and to honor McCloud and the animals he cared for, in 2004 artist Linda Brenner created “The Ghost Cats,” 39 white, life-size castings of kitties that were scattered throughout the structure for visitors to encounter. “That first year they were just everywhere,” says Sean Kelley, senior vice president and director of public programming, who oversees Eastern State’s site-specific art installation program. Over the years, some of the cat castings that were exposed to the elements got ruined and were removed. “It was intended from the beginning to diminish over time,” explains Kelley, who interpreted the colorless figures to be about the transitory nature of things: “The cats are gone, and Dan is gone, and the prisoners are gone.” >>> continued on page 7

Ishknits Piece from S. Kensington DAMON LANDRY

PERSON POWER ³ THERE HAS BEEN of late much dissatisfaction with the Supreme Court ruling affirming that corporations are “people.” But I say if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. It’s not so hard. Robert Coyle Sr., the notorious Kensington slumlord, “owned” a slew of LLCs, each theoretically its own separate business entity — all apparently controlled by him. And being a corporation has perks here in Philadelphia: Corporations don’t have to adhere to the same campaign finance limits as we lowly humans do. Individuals may donate up to $2,600 per candidate, per year; a "business organization," however, may donate up to $10,600. Technically, the business must be legit: Its finances must be “distinct and segregated from the personal finances of its proprietor or partners” — but it’s unclear how anyone’s supposed to know if that’s the case. Take, for example, “United Homes Builder, LLC,” a company that donated a whopping $10,000 to Councilman Darrell Clarke’s campaign — his second-highest single donation all year. Google the name and you find virtually nothing online about the company. The Department of State’s profoundly unhelpful website reveals merely a single address, shared by at least two other obscure LLCs. You might find as well that Clarke introduced a resolution in 2010 authorizing the city’s Redevelopment Authority to sell three vacant properties to United Homes (they were purchased at what appears to be market rate). That’s not to suggest this “entity” gets any more of the councilman’s ear than another developer — just that it, unlike the many developers who’ve contributed as individuals to Clarke, can spend $8,000 more trying. But that potential loophole is nothing compared to the gaping vaccuum of campaign finance regulation through which IBEW Local 98 union boss John “Doc” Dougherty leapt this year. As WHYY’s Dave Davies has pointed out, noncandidate committees — essentially, political corporations — can spend unlimited amounts of money to influence elections, like that of David Oh, whose campaign the Doughertyaffiliated PAC Philadelphia Phuture attempted to demolish in fliers, robo calls and radio ads. A December filing shows the Philadelphia Phuture PAC spending $117,000 on “design, printing, mailing, radio and robo calls,” (it doesn’t say for or against whom) all supposedly paid for on Nov. 3, five days before the election — funny, since the ads began weeks earlier. But the guy’s only human. ✚ Send feedback to isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net.

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By Isaiah Thompson

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[ has a total of 30 exclamation points ]

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✚ Cut to the Bone

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or deteriorating properties, precipitating a decline in neighboring property values, which in turn would further decrease property-tax revenues. “There are a number of studies,â€? says Sauer, “that show that if someone loses their home they are a much greater cost to society.â€? Tens of thousands of Philadelphians depend on the grant money. “We see the need growing right now, not shrinking,â€? says Sauer. “The waiting lists for programs like home repair, like putting on a new roof or fixing a furnace, or adapting a house to make it accessible to someone in a wheelchair, they’re going to grow. The waiting lists are already two years for these programs. Now they’re going to be three or four years.â€? Without new sources of revenue, City Council will face unpleasant choices, like whether to prioritize creating new housing or preserving existing homes. Though perhaps the city could spend its funds more wisely. Councilwoman Maria QuiĂąonesSĂĄnchez says that city housing programs could operate more efficiently. More than half of federal funds are currently being eaten up by operating costs at the various city agencies that manage housing programs, including the Office of Housing and Community Development, the Redevelopment Authority (RDA) and the Philadelphia Housing Development Corp. QuiĂąones-SĂĄnchez suggests consolidating the various city housing agencies to stretch ever-thinner funding further. “Given the expected CDBG funding cuts, we should take this opportunity to review our funding priorities, including the large percent we spend on administrative costs, to insure we are leveraging our resources appropriately,â€? she told City Paper via email. Clarke also supports the creation of a city land bank, but says he’s skeptical that consolidation will create more efficiency. Indeed, some of the operating costs go to city employees, such as RDA staff underwriting low-income housing developments, who are directly providing services. “Sometimes,â€? he says, “consolidation is a code word for laying people off. If that’s what people want to do, they should just say it.â€? Mayor Michael Nutter is keeping his budget strategy quiet for now. The Department of Housing declined an interview on the subject, but released a statement saying that although the cuts “will severely impact the City’s ability to provide housing and related services to low- and moderateincome households,â€? they “are not generating any talk of consolidation.â€? Under Gov. Tom Corbett and the Republican legislature, state funds for housing — as for education and other programs — have also been cut, by nearly $5 million, including $500,000 in funding to retrofit homes for people with disabilities. More cuts could be on the way. Last week, budget secretary Charles Zogby announced that the state was already confronting a half-billion-dollar shortfall halfway through the fiscal year. “Given the state of the economy, the governor and lawmakers will need to make many more difficult

decisions about Commonwealth spending in the months ahead,� said Zogby, signaling that further midyear cuts might be necessary. Progressives, who have called for the delay of a planned business tax break and for taxing the state’s booming natural gas industry to offset cuts, criticized Zogby. “Lawmakers should address our state’s fiscal challenges in a balanced way rather than the cuts-only approach offered by Secretary Zogby,� said Sharon Ward, executive director of the left-leaning Pennsylvania Budget and Policy Center. The city contributes very little to its housing programs, and Sauer says it should contribute more. But that money will be hard-won in a shrinking general fund. One bright spot is the city’s Housing Trust Fund, which uses a portion of a flat fee charged for real estate transactions for housing programs. Last week, Gov. Corbett signed legislation

City Council will face unpleasant choices. allowing a fee increase. This will, however, likely add up to no more than $3 million in additional funding. As long as politicians in Washington and Harrisburg insist on cutting spending, Philadelphia’s housing emergency will only get worse — and the foreclosure crisis the city has been working to postpone could loom nearer. Northwest Counseling’s Lewis says the cuts could undermine Philly’s foreclosure diversion court, which helps lenders and homeowners work out arrangements and avoid foreclosures. “We try to serve people well before that point, before they end up in diversion court,� says Lewis. “It’s been largely successful because there’s been a large and strong counseling network. But if you break up that network and overwhelm the courts, it could very well end in disaster.� (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net)

[ the naked city ]

<<< continued from page 5

By this past summer they were down to seven cats, all of which were finally removed a few weeks ago. The plaster cats, like the real ones, “had reached the end,” Kelley says. “What’s the point of an exhibit about impermanence that never —Theresa Everline leaves?”

✚ SHELTER SHORTAGE The Ridge Avenue men’s shelter — until recently, the largest homeless shelter for single men in the city — will not be closing at the end of this year after all. Dainette Mintz, director of the Office of Supportive Housing, has indicated in several conversations with City Paper that the politically sensitive task of finding sites for two smaller facilities hasn’t been easy. Despite recent criticism over the closing of Ridge by homeless and nonhomeless members of Occupy Philadelphia, the crowded shelter represented, for many in the homeless advocacy community, a failed model of homeless assistance, and they’ll be glad to see it replaced with smaller facilities. The problem is this: In order to prevent the mass

dislocation of the 280-odd men Ridge normally housed, the plan for closing the facility involved slowly reducing its population to about 100 men. That part of the plan was implemented, but the second part — establishing new housing — hasn’t been. Even with an additional 50 beds during the cold months, the Ridge shelter will simply house fewer men this winter. It’s one more sign that the problem of homelessness seems to be out-

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The seven plaster cats that remained were finally removed a few weeks ago.

the naked city

✚ A Million Stories

pacing the city’s allocated resources to deal with it.

Last week, a frustrated Pastor Bill Golderer of Broad Street Ministries addressed a memorial service for more than 100 homeless who’d died this year, calling upon the city to do more. “Saving your resources for a rainy day may not be what we’re called to do,” said Golderer. “Because it is raining.” —Isaiah Thompson

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[ the naked city ]

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the Week� and “Dead-Ass Proposal of the Week� that combine excessive profanity and extensive historical research, the anonymous GroJLart — and his blog, philaphilia.blogspot.com — stands out from Philly’s new crop of architecture and development bloggers. (Starting soon, you’ll also find his postings on CP’s Naked City blog, too.) City Paper: How’d you get started writing about

architectural history? GroJLart: I don’t have much of a background at all. I’m just like a fanboy and enthusiast. When I first moved here I lived in the Arts Tower [now the Arts Condominium and originally the Sylvania Hotel] and that was one of the first buildings I researched. ‌ My wife was tired of me telling her [about building histories] all the time, and then I had nobody to tell the stuff, so I just started writing it down.

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CP: What are some of the most interesting dis-

coveries you’ve made? G: I figured out that the building where Locust

Rendezvous is, at 1415 Locust, is much older than people think. It was built in 1850 by an antiCatholic hate group to store Protestant writings in, because they thought Catholic people would destroy their writings — and then later it became a Catholic school. ‌ Also, sometimes I find a building that I always thought something was missing on — and then you’ll see old pictures and say, “Oh yeah, there was a gigantic cornice on top or there were statues all over it, and now it makes a lot more sense.â€? CP: So why all the profanity in

your posts? G: When I have to write articles [without cursing] it becomes exceedingly difficult and it takes me all day. ‌ Also, I think I’ve made [architecture] accessible to some people who wouldn’t normally enjoy the highfalutin language, because part of the problem with writing about architecture is there’s a lot of vocabulary words people don’t know. —Samantha Melamed

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YOU’VE GOT A

FIEND IN ME

TWO YOUNG PHILADELPHIA ACTORS DISCOVER THE JOYS OF NASCENT STARDOM — AND THEIR INNER GREEN MONSTERS.

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BY DAVID ANTHONY FOX

It’s every actor’s dream: Complete your training and land a paying job in a genuine, real-live show. Better still, make that a show everybody loves, and an iconic leading role. Of course, the reality of life in the theater is more likely to involve auditions by day, bartending by night. But sometimes — rarely, but sometimes — the dream comes true. It did for two young fellows, students and friends just finishing up in the musical theater program at University of the Arts, who not only secured jobs in the national touring companies of Shrek the Musical and Young Frankenstein — they won the principal roles. I got to know Rory Donovan and Lukas Poost when they were in a musical theater history seminar I taught at UArts. They stood out as performers — and for their sheer presence: Both

are good-looking, but not conventional juvenile theater types. They’re big guys — over 6 feet, and physically formidable. (If someone ever writes a musical about Troy Aikman, you could doublecast it right here.) In the professional theater world, Rory and Lukas would be notable for their youth — but as often happens in a college program, their stature made them candidates for more mature character parts. For Rory, these included Sergei Alexandrovitch, the bearlike ballet impresario in Rodgers and Hart’s On Your Toes, and Guido Contini, the louche director (modeled on Federico Fellini) in Maury Yeston’s Nine. Lukas’ UArts roles included the high-living and drinking Sir Toby Belch in Illyria (a musical version of Twelfth Night), and the Rev. Hale in The Crucible. These still-in-school experiences may

the naked city feature

GREEN BEINGS: Rory Donovan (left) plays The Monster in the touring production of Young Frankenstein. Lukas Poost has the title role in Shrek the Musical. Both are graduates of UArts’ musical theater program.

weeks of table analysis of Chekhov. The cast was a tight-knit family, and every moment was exploration.” For Rory, it was learning to find an anchor for his work. “I always had a big singing voice — I could sing loud and high and everybody loved it, but I needed to learn to communicate through song. I didn’t even really know how to walk on a stage.” He pauses for a moment. “But I learned.”

R

ory exudes confidence. He looks you in the eye, he laughs easily and often, he’s high-energy. It’s easy to imagine him in politics, but there’s no arrogance here. It’s simply the sense that he loves what he’s doing, and knows he was destined to do it. Lukas, like Rory, is articulate and open, though his manner is different — earnest, boyish, thoughtful. You get the sense that he’s still processing the course of his life with a sense of wonderment at how it’s turning out. From early on, Lukas knew he wanted to pur-

sue acting, but having grown up in the small Northeast Pennsylvania town of Wyalusing, he didn’t have a strong sense of how to make it happen. “But I knew [Philadelphia actor/singer] Ben Dibble — he attended the same high school I did,” Lukas says. “He was doing very well for himself, and he’d gone to UArts. So that’s how it happened.” Meanwhile Rory, born and raised in Wilmington, Del., took off a few years after graduating from high school before enrolling at UArts. While working at the New Candlelight Theater, he met his future wife, Kati Lyles, who encouraged him to look into her alma mater. “She told me, ‘If you really want to do it, go to school and do it right.’” If you ask them about breakthrough moments at UArts, both guys focus on their acting training. “Playing Trigorin in The Seagull was an incredible, incredible experience,” says Lukas. “Two

R

began with that same showcase. “I was invited to audition by a casting director. I sang ‘Me’ from Beauty and the Beast. Six auditions later, they offered me the role of the monster.” And so, Lukas and Rory, straight out of school, found themselves in the rarified ranks of gainfully employed actors.

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ake no mistake about it — national tours are challenging. Consider the numbers: Between Jan. 1 and May 31, 2012, Young Frankenstein will play 73 engagements that take the show to 29 states and six cities in Canada. (By contrast, Shrek has a more modest 25 stops in 17 states, plus stops in Montreal and Toronto.) Many of these are one-night-only stops, which can mean that at 5 a.m., the morning after a performance, the cast boards a bus. Lukas and Rory describe the typical shlep — Little Rock one day, Texarkana the next — with characteristic good humor. “You really need to see this bus,” Rory says of his Frankenstein ride. “It looks like Hooterville. Stuff everywhere. And we’ve all figured out every possible way to use four seats across and a foot rest.” Yet Rory acknowledges that it’s not all fun and games: “[It’s] taxing, mentally and physically,” he says. “It’s teaching me how to take care of myself.” What are the strangest experiences >>> continued on page 12

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well have helped them nail the roles of Shrek (Lukas) and Frankenstein’s Monster (Rory). But Rory is no worldweary European, and Lukas neither hard-drinking barfly nor crazed zealot. They’re a couple of talented, genuinely nice, lucky guys embarking on the long road to the big time.

ory and Lukas’ praise for the UArts program aside, it was by no means inevitable that a good run at school would lead to professional jobs. They needed a lot of perseverance — and maybe a little luck. “I start the Shrek story with my freshman year,” begins Lukas. “The show was in a pre-Broadway tryout in Seattle. My brother sent me to a YouTube clip of the song ‘Who I’d Be,’ and he said, ‘You know, I think this would be exactly right for you.’ I used it in several classes — it really was my song at the school, and over time I had a lot of coaching in it. I brought it to our senior showcase, and a representative from NETworks Presentations saw me. … Eventually she brought me in to audition for Shrek. Then they brought me back … and back … and back. And here I am. So, in a way my entire school career prepared me for this job.” Rory’s experience was similar, and

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“SIX AUDITIONS LATER, THEY OFFERED ME THE ROLE OF THE MONSTER.”

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LUKAS POOST

RORY DONOVAN

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they’ve had on tour? “One theater was so small,� recalls Rory, “that virtually all the scenery had to be cut. The hermit’s cottage became the hermit’s table. The mirrored ball was an apple crate. We ended up doing quick changes in a parking lot across the street.� Lukas, introspective young man that he is, recalls not a strange moment so much as a memorable one. “The first time we had an audience, and my first entrance — as a storybook is opened and Shrek emerges — the audience applauded, and I wasn’t expecting it. My first professional job, and 1,500 people applauded. It wasn’t for me, of course,� he laughs. “It was for the character, and for the makeup that makes me look just like the movie. But it was just incredible.� Speaking of which: It’s no easy trick to turn a couple of twentysomethings into famous monsters. The process takes about 90 minutes (25 to reverse). Elaborate prosthetics are involved. For Shrek, it covers virtually his entire face. “It’s four pieces,� explains Lukas. “One for cheeks and chin, one for my forehead, one for the nose and another for the bottom lip. On two-show days, the makeup stays on for 12 hours. The hardest part is the heat, since I also have a cowl and a hood. But I’m getting used to it. I’ve learned to sleep and eat in it.� Rory’s makeup involves fewer pieces, one of which is a large forehead. “Lukas and I compared notes,� he says, “and we discovered that my forehead and his

nose can only be used one time — we have new pieces at every performance, and the old ones get thrown away. So we’ve decided we’re going to swap body parts — his nose for my forehead.� (Visit citypaper.net/coverstory to watch a time-lapse video of Rory’s transformation from man to monster.) The swap is one concrete sign of their friendship, one that’s grown in recent months. “We knew each other at UArts, of course,� says Lukas, who points out that they often tried out for the same parts (“Rory usually got them!�). “Though we’re never in the same city at the same time,� Rory says, “we’re following a similar path.� Shrek and Young Frankenstein’s shared company, NETworks Presentations Inc., even seems to see the resonance between the two shows — “there’s marketing out there for the ‘Season of Monsters,’� notes Rory. There are some hardships, of course — especially for Rory, who recently married Kati. The two have lived in different cities for much of the last year; while he’s touring, she’s completing her MFA in musical theater at San Diego State. “We’ve heard that the first year of marriage is the hardest,� Rory jokes, “so we’re skipping it.�

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earning of Rory and Lukas’ double-dose of good fortune, I began to wonder — how often does this happen? Is it realistic for young >>> continued on adjacent page

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and many others. Some actors believe in making their own opportunities. For Miriam White, a performance class led her to create her own cabaret show. “I had no idea you could do something like that — develop your own work rather than audition for it. It was really thrilling, and the beginning of my entrepreneurial spirit.” Later, White and friends founded Nice People Theatre Co. “It just sort of happened. We found a play and produced it, and the critical response was incredible.” Nice People took over White’s life for the next six years. It’s no longer around, but, in typical form, she’s already launched new creative projects.

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eanwhile, Lukas and Rory have contracts that take them through the spring. It’s possible the tours will be extended and they will continue, but more likely they’ll be moving on. For Lukas, that means New York. “I got an agent — also through the UArts showcase — and I’m hoping that together we can find another cool adventure to go on.” Rory looks forward most of all to the chance for him and Kati to live together in the same place. That may well be Philly — they love the city, and both think it would be an excellent springboard for the next big thing. But not just yet. For now, their tours take Rory to Greensboro, N.C., and Lukas to Providence, R.I. On with the show … (d_fox@citypaper.net)

For more information on Lukas and Rory, visit lukaspoost.com and rorydonovanonline.com, or follow them on Twitter: @lukethegranduke, @rorydonovan.

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actors to think they’ll be cast in prominent roles so early in their careers? “It’s an uncommon break,” says Charles Gilbert, who watched over their training at UArts. “All students dream of it in their senior year, but it’s rare. And I think both Rory and Lukas know that.” Was it something specific about them that made it happen? “They’re real leading-man types — robust, with charm and forcefulness. We’re always excited to see those qualities in young performers — they don’t come by often.” Gilbert also acknowledges that the road is often easier for males. “The gender breakdown in most plays favors men, and by contrast the population in theater schools is often heavily female.” So what counsel does Gilbert offer other students looking to make a career? “We encourage them most of all to build relationships,” he says, “to network.” It’s a theme that comes up again in several conversations I’ve had with local actors. “The best thing I’ve done is to get to know everybody whose work I admired,” says David Millstone, an actor who relocated to Philadelphia not long ago. “When I first arrived, I networked my ass off — it really helped me get to know the Philadelphia theater community.” For local actress Amanda Schoonover, proactive networking has helped her forge a very significant career in Philly. “I come from a blue-collar family, and basically that’s how I approach theater. I’m going to roll up my sleeves and get my hands dirty, and if that means I have to knock on every single theater person’s door, that’s what I’m going to do.” Her door-knocking has led to collaborations with Theatre Exile, Arden Theatre Co.

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“ THEY’RE REAL LEADING-MAN TYPES — ROBUST, WITH CHARM AND FORCEFULNESS.”

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artsmusicmoviesmayhem

By Mary Armstrong

TOP ROOTS

JOHN RENBOURN Palermo Snow | ( S H A N A C H I E )

1

After all these years, Renbourn remains the master of acoustic guitar. On Palermo Snow, his gorgeous melodies are often enfolded into intricate compositions, arranged to suggest they accompany some very interesting tales.

MASKED MARVEL: The Skin I Live In is Pedro Almodóvar’s best since All About My Mother.

SWEETBACK SISTERS Looking for a Fight

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(SIGNATURE RECORDS)

2

These swinging, honky-tonking Brooklyn ladies fill their second record with feisty and funny lyrics, thoroughly country sounds and contemporary attitude. Having a skilled guitar slinger like Ross Bellenoit, who has adopted Philly for his home, only gilds the lily.

BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA Take the High Road (SAGUARO ROAD)

3

These senior statesmen of gospel graciously host major country singers — Jamey Johnson, Lee Ann Womack, Willie Nelson — on several tracks, taking us down to the ground where all roots intertwine.

SONES DE MÉXICO ENSEMBLE CHICAGO

[ movies ]

TOP 20 IN 2011 ³ ATTACK THE BLOCK

No movie this year had a clearer sense of self than British director Joe Cornish’s debut feature, which went over what the hell happens when man-scarfing aliens crash-land in the London ghetto and begin terrorizing a scruffy tween street gang equally adept at the whole terrorizing thing. Sci-fi without the genre gloating and action without the arrogance, Attack the Block begins and ends with startling precision, the in-between making heroes out of kids who would quickly jack your wallet any other day. —Drew Lazor ³ BOMBAY BEACH

Popular music helped tell the story of the Mexican Revolution at that time and still provides a vivid soundtrack to the saga. Sones’ exquisite arrangements preserve the original energy while making repeated listening a journey of detailed discovery.

Philadelphians never got the chance to see this spellbinding documentary (available On Demand) about three very different men living in an impoverished community on the edge of California’s Salton Sea. Alma Har’el’s film contains many indelible images — including the love-struck subjects doing interpretive dances. While Bombay Beach eschews traditional approaches to filmmaking, its themes about humanity — at turns poignant, haunting, celebratory and heartbreaking — are universal, and ultimately unforgettable. —Gary M. Kramer

KLEZMATICS

³ BRIDESMAIDS

Viva la Revolución | ( 1 0 1 D I S T R I B U T I O N )

4

Live at Town Hall | ( S O U N D B R U S H )

5

Such a deal! Two discs for more or less the price of one, preserving the concert sound of those >>> continued on page 16

Melissa McCarthy, who plays overweight-for-laughs sexual predator Megan in Paul Feig’s comedy about grown women fighting like little girls once a white dress enters the arena, gets all

the daps, but Bridesmaids is Kristen Wiig’s movie — she used it to prove that she’s capable of cracking that SNL Not-Readyfor-Prime-Time ceiling. Wiig’s got the game to be line leader, as evidenced by her perma-frowning Annie, a neurotic unemployed baker blown into a tailspin by the nuptials of her best friend, Lillian (Maya Rudolph). It’s the best ensemble comedy of 2011, but don’t shortchange it by overstressing the patronizing “girl power!” storyline — it’s just a funny-ass flick, period. —D.L. ³ CERTIFIED COPY

A Zen koan in the guise of a relationship two-hander, Abbas Kiarostami’s first European feature explores the ever-shifting connection between an art historian and an antiques dealer, each professionally and personally invested in distinguishing real from fake. Throughout the course of a single encounter, Juliette Binoche and William Shimell serve as intellectual antagonists, ex-lovers, even a former husband and wife, though which and when are subject to endless debate. There’s no definitive answer to the movie’s are-they-or-aren’t-they puzzle, but pondering it is a true joy. —Sam Adams

A funnyass flick, period.

³ DRIVE

Beginning with titles lifted from Risky Business and neon-lit streets transplanted from Miami Vice, Nicolas Winding Refn’s terse action thriller streamlines the genre to its glossiest and most violent extremes. Ryan Gosling’s blank-eyed hero is >>> continued on adjacent page

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[ action without the arrogance ] McQueen-as-sociopath, but Albert Brooks’ atypical turn as a vicious gangster is especially memorable. —Shaun Brady ³ THE FUTURE

Miranda July uses naïveté as a weapon, forcing the audience to lay down its defenses and revisit the phenomenon of grown men and women shirking adult responsibility without cynicism or glib moralizing. Rather than offering an easy out, The Future takes stock of the profound consequences of failing to grow up, while demonstrating its creator’s rapidly advancing maturity. —S.A. ³ HANNA

Joe Wright’s odd choice of heroine, a ruthless, fragile 16-year-old assassin (Saoirse Ronan) trained to kill by her rogue-spy father (Eric Bana) in an isolated arctic cabin, is obviously what makes Hanna’s clock tick, but it’s far from the only appealing aspect of the strangest, coolest mainstream release this year. There’s also the throbbing, super-rad Chemical Brothers score, Cate Blanchett’s turn as a sharpdressed villainess obsessed with oral hygiene and Wright’s stagecrafty treatment of location, from dusty Moroccan oases to unsettling Grimm-themed fun parks in Berlin. It’s a remarkably unsubtle movie and the world is better and weirder for it. —D.L. ³ HIGHER GROUND

³ THE INTERRUPTERS

Seeking to make a difference in a brutal world, Ameena Matthews works with the Chicago group CeaseFire, whose efforts are at the center of Steve James and Alex Kotlowitz’s magnificent documentary. How do they stop retaliations rather than engaging wrongdoers in endless punishment? Despite missteps and steps back, despite the many times the Interrupters attend funerals and console grieving parents, they try again and again. If they can stop one act of violence, they might stop another. —Cindy Fuchs ³ MEEK’S CUTOFF

Kelly Reichardt’s near-silent Western is as sere as the desert in which its party of settlers finds itself lost. The politics of the story, about grand notions of new-world empire and the stark realities of the unfriendly terrain, are obvious just under what little surface there is, but Reichardt’s insistence on lingering over monotonous toil and tedious hardship make for a grueling sort of allegory. —S.B.

³ SO IT’S ABOUT to be 2012, and what does

³ MYSTERIES OF LISBON

SHYSTIE

July uses naïveté as a weapon.

³ PROJECT NIM

“Wouldn’t it be exciting to communicate with a chimp and learn what it was thinking?” Professor Herb Terrace’s question is an enduring one. But if it once impelled the sorts of “experiments” conducted on subjects like Nim Chimpsky during the 1970s, now it also raises moral and political concerns — for instance, how does “science” work, to whose benefit and to whose irreparable detriment? Antic and profound, James Marsh’s documentary exposes the intersections of human ambition and failure, insight and arrogance, regret and ignorance. —C.F. ³ RESURRECT DEAD: THE MYSTERY OF THE TOYNBEE TILES

Hanna

“Dance/Electronic” mean? I sure don’t know. Pretty much all popular music is “dance” music at the moment. Let me preface this by saying that I mostly shirk the “Dance/Electronic” tag, and this is just the stuff I think was the hot shit in 2011. I also smoke too much weed to be able to decide how to order things top to bottom, so skip around when you’re reading and pick your own ranking. You’re Welcome

Raúl Ruiz’s final film is fully possessed of an effortless mastery that only comes with a sense of the valedictory. Sprawling over four and a half hours, the narrative takes in flashbacks within flashbacks within tall tales, playfully luxuriating in the joy of storytelling. These interwoven melodramatic yarns are by turns compelling and ridiculous, but the director conducts their retelling symphonically, with a floating camera that eavesdrops like a ghost in the room. —S.B.

Attack the Block

TOP DANCE/ ELECTRONIC

In Philly, there is no urban puzzle more pervasive than the Toynbee tiles, penetrating our streets with their creepy, seemingly nonsensical cosmic message. The subjects of Jon Foy’s little doc that could are

1

Shystie had a great year with lots of top-notch material dropping, including this free mixtape — proving once again why she has consistently been one of the queens of grime. MERKY ACE Catch Up (FAMILY TREE)

2

Raw, unadulterated grime. This shit is visceral. Sick productions and sick flows mark this nice release from a number of rising talents.

JUICY J & LEX LUGER Rubba Band Business 2 (TRAP-A-HOLICS)

3

The impact of both these cats this year is undeniable, and when they team up it’s purely crushing. “Pills, Weed and Pussy” is all I need to say.

DAMU Ridin’ EP (KEYSOUND)

4

I was feeling this R&B-influenced left-field house EP quite a bit, and when I looked back at my play counts for the year, the killer title track had a lot of spins in my sets. >>> continued on page 18

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(PIRATES)

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Vera Farmiga’s first feature is an elegant exploration of religious faith and its discontents, based on the real-life experience of a former Jesus freak. Although the film doesn’t shy from depicting the misogyny inherent in the hippie evangelism of the 1970s, it doesn’t demonize its believers, either (or at least not all of them). It’s rare that any director, let alone a novice, navigates such a complex subject so deftly. —S.A.

Martin Scorsese’s spectacular kids’ film celebrates the power and possibility of cinema. More than just sweeping camerawork, exceptional editing and memorable performances, this captivating story — about a son discovering a message from his deceased inventor dad — gets at the force and myths of moviemaking. Scorsese wants viewers to feel and discover his love of cinema; Hugo may be for kids, but it’s not kid stuff. —G.M.K.

bestof2011 By Gair “dev79” Marking

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³ HUGO

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✚ Top Roots

attitudinous virtuosi, the Klezmatics, who gather simpatico guests — including David Krakauer, Susan McKeown and Joshua Nelson — to spin new commentary on the sound of Jewish celebrations. RY COODER Pull Up Some Dust and Sit Down (NONESUCH)

6

Ry Cooder was way ahead of his time when he started working with the best roots players from all over, not just his own background. He is a man of all the people, and his new collection of songs is right on time for the 99 percent: “No Banker Left Behind” states his opinion in blunt farce trauma. JOHN DOYLE Shadow and Light | ( C O M P A S S )

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Do we need more songs about the Irish immigration experience? When John Doyle writes and sings them the answer is an emphatic yes. Thinking about the Civil War? Doyle reminds what that looked like for the newly arrived, along with many other insightful reflections.

MARIA MULDAUR Steady Love | ( S T O N Y P L A I N )

8

Folk revivalist Muldaur sings the blues and shouts some gospel on the lovely Steady Love. Quoting Mehitabel the cat, “There is life in the old dame yet.” JENNIFER CUTTING’S OCEAN ORCHESTRA Song of Solstice | ( S U N S I G N )

9

Yes, a seasonal collection, but there are few overly familiar songs among Cutting’s originals on Song of Solstice, which gives voice to alternate religiosity with references to ancient honorings of the cycle of the seasons and one’s own life. The arrangements are spare and acoustic with plenty of Celtic harp. Prog rock royal Annie Haslam makes a guest appearance.

DAVID OLNEY Film Noir | ( D E A D B E E T )

10

Not a full-length CD, but these dark stories and their perfect small jewels of cool jazz must be honored for offering fascinating listening, both lyrically and musically. (m_armstrong@citypaper.net) ✚ Even though it’s almost 2012, we’re still rattling off our favorite songs of 2011 at citypaper.net/criticalmass.

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McKinney serves as a figure for the rest of us to wonder at.

Pedro Almodóvar’s best since All About My Mother entwines its parallel narratives with a master’s grace, circling back and reconfiguring incidents in ways that profoundly change our understanding of them. He forces us to look beneath the surface, perfectly encapsulating the film’s theme that things, and people, are often not as they seem. —S.A. ³ TABLOID

“Dogs and children love me,” says Joyce McKinney. “They don’t read tabloid papers. They love me for me.” In asserting there is a “me” to love, McKinney sounds like everyone else who believes she has a

re:view Robin Rice on visual art

THE ABSTRACT FORMS OF PABLO PICASSO & WENDELL CASTLE/HIDEAKI MIYAMURA: RECENT WORK | Through Feb. 25, free, Wexler Gallery,

201 N. Third St., 215-923-7030, wexlergallery.com

³ WITH THREE SHOWS in three mediums, Wexler Gallery should be just right to spark conversation among the most curmudgeonly or blasé of out-oftown visitors. Even people who know nothing about art history will find the Picasso works on paper — lithograph, etching and linocut prints, most depicting a solitary female model — familiar (perhaps excessively so). The earliest, Tête de Femme: Madeleine (1905), is a pleasant, straightforward studio study. Cubist-influenced Surrealism dominates work from the 1930s; Portrait de Jacqueline Accoudée, au Collier (1959), a linocut patterned in browns and black, is the most impressive. Wexler felicitously pairs Picasso on the walls with furniture by Wendell Castle. Although Castle is much the younger — and still living — artist, his formal Modernist vocabulary of simple curves and chunky juxtapositions could

Quarrels are still being fought over the end of Jeff Nichols’ second feature, featuring Michael Shannon as a man who’s either a paranoid schizophrenic or a prophet of the apocalypse, or possibly both. But resolving the question of whether his Cassandra syndrome is justified diverts from the movie’s exquisite portrait of a marriage in crisis, anchored by Jessica Chastain as Shannon’s uncomprehending but nonetheless devoted wife. —S.A. >>> continued on page 19

scarcely have come into being without artists like Picasso. Castle is an important figure in the furniture aspect of the studio crafts movement, which began a half-century ago. The work here is recent, bulbously organic and often, as in the Sun King side cantilevered chair, distinctly humorous. Brocaded surfaces and minimal forms make Hideaki Miyamura’s porcelains the most exciting work in the gallery right now. The contrast between the controlled accidents of poured and dripped glazes speckled unpredictably with flower-like crystals — not to mention the artist’s finetuned control of the potter’s wheel — is a stunning technical achievement. As a sculpture, FStop with Gold Glaze, a 96-inchlong diminuendo of perfectly calibrated bowls, is impressive, but many will prefer the extravagance of Bottle with Sea Foam Purple Glaze. Okay, curmudgeons, discuss. (r_rice@citypaper.net)

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THREE WISE MEN

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³ THE SKIN I LIVE IN

³ TAKE SHELTER

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responsible for teeing up the As to all those underfoot Qs, and Foy does an exceptional job warming us up to them. Centered on Justin Duerr, whose dogged fascination with the Toynbee mystery doubles as a looking-glass peek into the local artist and musician’s tough childhood, Resurrect Dead is so much more personal than a doc of its nature should be — and that’s a compliment. Of course, Duerr and his cohorts cracking the case once and for all is exhilarating on its own. —D.L.

consistent, legible self, visible for all to see. But as she makes her assertion in Errol Morris’ incisive look at celebrity and personality, ego and performance, it’s not so clear that this belief holds up, for her or anyone else. McKinney serves as a figure for the rest of us to wonder at, even as we wonder at ourselves for wondering. —C.F.

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✚ Top 20 Movies of 2011

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³ THIS WASN’T GOING to end well, 2011. It just

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ARAABMUZIK Electronic Dream (DUKE PRODUCTIONS)

5

This Dipset producer murders everything he touches. I said he murders everything he touches. Cheesy trance flipped through the mind and fingers of an MPC virtuoso. Only something so wrong can come out so right.

STARKEY Space Traitor Vol. 2 (CIVIL MUSIC)

6

My homeboy is unstoppable. Trust that. A real bangup of a release with an even spread of instrumentals, vocals and remixes — that are all excellent. Philly’s finest.

KASTLE Time Traveler (SECLUSIASIS)

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icepack

[ arts & entertainment ]

By A.D. Amorosi

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✚ Top Dance/ Electronic

Seclusiasis is my label. We only sign music that we love. This EP is passionate and thoughtprovoking dancefloor music on a future garage tip. It will move you, and I’m proud to have released it. Look for more exceptional music from Kastle in 2012.

V/A Surreal Estate, compiled and mixed by Ana Sia (FRITE NITE)

8

A slew of forward-thinking electronic sounds from North American artists. This is the kinda stuff that gets me through annoying paperwork.

MACHINEDRUM Rooms (PLANET MU)

9

Juke-inspired sounds have been all the rage this year, and the always excellent Machinedrum turns out an impressive affair of surging synths and pumping rhythms.

CLICKS & WHISTLES Cranberry Goose (EMBASSY)

10

This one really put these guys on the map, and damn if I don’t often find myself humming the “Cranberry Goose” melody. The album is at once both soulful and banging. (gair79@citypaper.net)

✚ Gair “dev79” Marking does the DJ Nights column every

week at citypaper.net.

couldn’t slump away or leave in the shadow of night, right? No. It was like a coked-up drunk that stumbled into Tattooed Mom’s on a dead empty Tuesday night and wouldn’t leave until it was good and ready to stomp and storm out. Mean stuff. The weird Philadelphia December pop-cult news cycle wouldn’t quit being curiously corrupt. As if assfucking the Philly School District wasn’t enough, Arlene Ackerman had her hands out for a few dollars more. By Christmas’ end I wound up liking Andy Reid less than I like Michael Vick.And I hate Vick. Traffic judge Willie Singletary allegedly showed penis pictures to a co-worker. Weather stud John Bolaris showed nudie pix to a writer for Playboy.With these last two items, I can hear George Costanza saying, “Was that wrong?” and the answer now seems uncomically clear. Jerry Sandusky and the entirety of the Penn State crew wreaked their brand of exploitative evil and made a mean mockery of the judicial system in the process, and there was the sad tale of Bill Conlin.There were all the Philly people who died, but we’ve got a whole issue on them coming next week, so why should I spoil your gloomy fun trying to guess our top-rated dead? OK. Enough crepe hanging from me already. We had fun and laughs, too. And some of our fun just came down to the few good things that Philly could point to in 2011 and say, “Ah, that was sweet.” Wasn’t it? ³ We learned to love the Chinatown watering hole Hop Sing Laundromat and its singularly named owner/ operator Lêe because he refused (still refuses as of this writing) to dole out names, dates and other specifics of opening like so many other Phoodie entrepreneurs. Know the old adage where you don’t buy the milk once you’ve fucked the cow? Lêe wasn’t going to let you fuck his cow. Instead he toyed with the bull, let me and several other local scribes in on the very best info, yet all off-the-record, and kept his hidden-in-plain-sight bar in the headlines without ever opening his door. I even got asked by one editor about whether or not he was real. Man, if only he wasn’t. That would be even more amazing. ³ Nobody likes Comcast. Not even the NBC network that let the Philly behemoth buy them out only to have 30 Rock make sport of the provincial Kabletown on the same day NBC’s employees met with new boss Steve Burke. Yet ballsy-credit-where-credit is due: When Oprah Winfrey showed up at Comcast Philly’s tower with a greedy cash grab for her failing OWN cable network, the suits shut her out quicker than Cliff Lee ever could. Man, I hope Brian Roberts pulled a Dr. Evil and stroked a cat while he did it. ³ No doubt I’m proud of War on Drugs and The Roots for making those highly notable-to-national-media new recordings (Slave Ambient and undun respectively). But can I get a huzzah for Gemini Wolf and its earSnake label for dropping its hazily epic Infinite Sand Dunes, its doubly grand

multimedia opera Pangaea: When the Continents Were One and a chapter from its past with Robots Ready in dedication to the electro-sound of Robots in Disguise and the late, great John Plunkett. Also out in 2011 in dedication to one of the area’s great innovators (the late Jason DiEmilio) is Where the Sands Turn to Gold from the avant-orchestrated Azusa Plane. Robots, Azusa and little else made the Philly ’90s worthwhile. ³ I know you’ve been scared of the Reading Viaduct/ Eraserhood area and had to look for several additional reasons to head to Prohibition Tap Room and PhilaMOCA.Well, Trestle Inn, Underground Arts and Union Transfer gave you those reasons in 2011. And while we’re at it, a big yay to Avram Hornik for making the

See you on the other side. gravy that turned the Spaghetti Warehouse (with Sean Agnew) into something viable

as well as buying (and opening eventually?) long-dormant live rooms such as Ortlieb’s Jazzhaus in NoLibs and South Broad Street’s Boot & Saddle. ³ Speaking of South Broad, we’ve loved so many restaurants that opened in ’11, but only one seems to have been innovative: Tashan and its truly modern Indian cuisine. Let’s hope they get the customers they deserve. ³ And here’s to my fave local trend of 2011 where everything old was new and best again — the Berley Bros.’ newly reopened Shane Confectionery in Old City, Midtown Village’s Portofino becoming a ’40s Palumbo’s-like Walnut Street Supper Club and the return of legendary Philly brands Pine Bros. cough drops and Goldenberg’s Peanut Chews. See you on the other

side. ³ Ice comes in cube form at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

[ arts & entertainment ]

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Coogan and Brydon are like a crabby old married couple.

³ THE TREE OF LIFE

Terrence Malick’s interstellar leaps from personal past to the history of the universe threw off many viewers, but the reclusive director’s expansive memoir vividly captures the elusive and mysterious process of memory in all of its disconnected faces and half-recalled utterances. Without laboring the point, Malick illustrates the recontextualizing of childhood from a distance of years, resenting, forgiving and ultimately understand-

³ THE TRIP

Plotless but far from pointless, Michael Winterbottom’s BBCminiseries-turned-movie sets Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon loose in northern England’s best restaurants, with only their wits and dueling celebrity impressions to guide them through each mod-cuisine temple. Fully dedicated to playing exaggerated man-child versions of themselves, the British comedians do “about to kill each other” better than most crabby married couples, but their comic one-upsmanship is consistently tempered by flashes of human sincerity. The preparation of all the incredible-looking food is fascinating, too, even when Coogan compares soup to snot. —D.L.

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It’s not necessary to follow the Cold War intrigue of Tomas Alfredson’s Le Carré adaptation to enjoy this film. In fact, it might even get in the way. Less a taut thriller than a languorous mood piece, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy basks in the texture of windowless warrens and wood-paneled rooms, harking back to the days when the future of civilization hinged on the actions of balding men in ill-fitting overcoats. Headed by a fabulously withdrawn Gary Oldman, the movie’s cast suggests that the United Kingdom has a back bench of brilliant character actors that the U.S. can’t begin to equal. —S.A.

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ing a father’s harsh treatment. If a sometimes embarrassingly literal spirituality is the price to pay for such nakedly felt emotion, so be it. —S.B.

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✚ Top 20 Movies of 2011

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FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

FilMS oF THE YEAR ‘‘ LISBETH IS A MARVELOUS

POP-CULTURE CHARACTEr, STRANGER AND MORE COMPLEX THAN THE AVERAGE SUPERHERO

aNd MORE INTRIGUING THAN THE USUAL BOY WIZARDS AND VAMPIRE BRIDES.

SHE IS AN OUTLAW FEMINIST FANTASY-HEROINE.’’ λ . o .

‘‘‘

s c o T T

’

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO IS A BEAUTIFULLY TAUT AND TERRIFYING THRILLER.

LISBETH SALANDER IS ONE OF THE GREAT HEROINES OF DETECTIVE FICTION, AS DIFFERENT FROM MISS MARPLE AS A TOOT OF

CRANK IS TO A NICE CUP OF TEA. ON TO THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE,’ PLEASE!’’ S T E V E n

r e λ

The Adventures of Tintin

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hero’s career, but not of an art form snuffed out at its peak. —S.A. (Ritz Five)

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THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN|B+ It would be stretching things to say that Steven Spielberg’s meticulous compositions are the equivalent of Hergé’s famous “clear line” style, but between the movie’s graphic origins and the labor-intensive process of motion capture, Tintin turns out as a master class in cinematic assemblage. The story is sweeping, a continent-spanning adventure that sends journalist and freelance adventurer Tintin (Jamie Bell) and his perpetual sidekick, ship’s captain Haddock (Andy Serkis), in search of lost ships and sunken treasure. But as the drunken Haddock traces his family line back generations and across continents, it becomes clear that the riches they seek are not so much material as they are genealogical. George Remi, whose pen name comes from the phonetic pronunciation of his initials reversed, was himself the product of a family whose tangled bloodline was shrouded in myth, so it makes sense that Spielberg, the child of divorce, would be drawn to the subject. —Sam Adams

A DAVID FINCHER FILM

COLUMBIA PICTURES AND METRO-GOLDWYN-MAYER PICTURES PRESENT A SCOTT RUDIN/YELLOW BIRD PRODUCTION DANIEL CRAIG ROONEY MARA “THEMUSICGIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO” CHRISEXECUTIVE TOPHER PLUMMER STELLAN SKARSGÅRD STEVEN BERKOFF ROBIN WRIBASED GHT ONYORITHECK VAN WAGENINGENORIGINALLY JOELY RICHARDSON BY TRENT REZNOR & ATTICUS ROSS PRODUCERS STEVEN ZAILLIAN MIKAEL WALLEN ANNI FAURBYE FERNANDEZ BOOK BY STIEG LARSSON PUBLISHED BY NORSTEDTS SCREENPLAY PRODUCED BY STEVEN ZAILLIAN BY SCOTT RUDIN OLE SØNDBERG SØREN STÆRMOSE CEÁN CHAFFIN DIRECTED BY DAVID FINCHER

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THE ARTIST|B A love letter to silent cinema, Michel Hazanavicius’ blackand-white non-talkie is a shallow but hellaciously enjoyable voyage into the past. As George Valentin, a silent screen legend who has no idea his medium’s days are numbered, Jean Dujardin has Errol Flynn’s magnetic charm, William Powell’s grace and the blithe cockiness of Gene Kelly in Singin’ in the Rain. He gives a leg up to the aptly named Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo), not knowing that when sound takes over, the caffeinated flapper’s fame will rapidly eclipse his own. Hazanavicius has a feel for the easy comedy of silent film if not its artistic scope; the movie mourns the death of its

BEING ELMO: A PUPPETEER’S JOURNEY|B Elmo represents love, says Kevin Clash of his self-made world of endless hugs and kisses. The route to that representation is remarkably smooth in Constance Marks and Philip Shane’s superficial, sweet documentary that tracks Clash’s journey to Muppetville. There’s been tension along the way, yet for the most part the movie keeps to the cuteness, reflecting on Elmo’s performance. “He’s the pure innocence part of Kevin that I think he always wants to be,” says puppeteer Bill Barretta, “but people would think he was crazy if he did it all the time.” —Cindy Fuchs (Ritz at the Bourse)

THE DESCENDANTS|B+ Although it’s laced with understated humor, The Descendants is Alexander Payne’s first “serious” film, which is more a matter of tone than thematic heft. George Clooney’s performance is almost entirely inward-focused, a study in slowly thawing withdrawal; it’s a cousin to his turn in last year’s The American, only without the art-house abstraction. There’s perhaps a bit too much selfconscious maturity here; Payne’s exploring new territory, but it also feels like he’s holding himself back, attempting to evolve through repression. The film could have been livelier without straying too far from its commendable nuance. —S.A. (Ritz Five) THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO|B+ With Daniel Craig as disgraced muckraker Mikael Blomkvist and Rooney Mara as multiply pierced investigator

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN|C+

“This is really happening, isn’t it?” demure analyst Brandt (Jeremy Renner) asks no-worse-for-wear Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) the moment the implausible task at hand comes into truest focus. Yes, it’s really happening, son — a fourth Mission: Impossible. Director Brad Bird’s first non-animated feature is a vehicle for Cruise, whose career’s been in the quiet car, to pull leading-man rank, as well as an opportunity to shock a heartbeat back into a franchise sullied by 2000’s awful sequel and 2006’s passable follow-up. Bird (The Incredibles, Ratatouille), whose vivacious eye for action has not been applied to flesh and blood until now, proves three times over that he can flex outside a purely CGI arena in this back-to-basics adventurer, which hews to the workhorse spirit of the TV series and the fast-paced, classicCruise original. Their mission, which they choose to accept, begins with the Kremlin exploding, a diversionary disaster terrorist “Cobalt” is pleased to pin on the wrong-place wrongtime Americans. The international fallout (aw, remember the Cold War?) forces the White House to enact “Ghost Protocol,” nullifying its association with the IMF, a move that leaves the agents with nothing but their wits and pretty fighting styles to halt Cobalt’s steady roll toward nuclear apocalypse. It’s a clever way to establish a brand of recession-era espionage — watch for in-jokes about faulty spy gadgets and paltry disguise budgets — that strips focus away from tech geekery and places it back on the team dynamic. Most of the players, particularly the baddies, are cardboard, but to scream for sincere character development is to discount the movie’s potent one-for-all personality. —D.L.

THE MUPPETS|C+ Growing up in a small town called Smalltown, Gary (Jason Segel) and Walter (voiced by Peter Linz) are brothers who’ve conveniently bonded over their love of The Muppet Show since childhood. Making Walter a Muppet is an easy way to give Gary and his main squeeze a foot in the door once the trio travels to California to tour the dilapidated Muppet Studio, which they learn is scheduled to be demolished. The problem is, Walter is a codependent whiner who’s a total hin-

Colin Clark (Eddie Redmayne) is a weteared assistant director on Lawrence Olivier’s The Prince and the Showgirl who becomes Marilyn Monroe’s (Michelle Williams) minder and confidant. With Monroe’s marriage to Arthur Miller (Dougray Scott) already foundering, it falls to Colin to act as her one-man entourage. There’s a fundamental imbalance between the high-wattage star and her no-profile hanger-on, one the movie does little to address. Ultimately, the movie uses Colin to get close to her, just like any other bloodsucker. —S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

NEW YEAR’S EVE|D Following his ploddingly obvious take on Valentine’s Day, Garry Marshall focuses his sitcom’s-eye-view on the hours leading up to the Times Square ball-dropping. The all-star cast plays out a thin gruel of mawkish end-of-year yarns, not one of which wouldn’t crop up half a dozen times in any given TV Land marathon. The generic stereotypes are bad enough, but less forgivable is the fact that Marshall’s vision of Manhattan is as white as Happy Days. Screenwriter Katherine Fugate makes sure each storyline gets its heart-tugging speech, and a midnight toast never came as such a relief. —S.B. (Roxy)

THE SITTER|C David Gordon Green, who has both successes (Pineapple Express) and stinkers (Your Highness) filed in his stonerfied gross-out cabinet, lands a punch somewhere in the middle with this movie, which sets narcissistic screw-up Noah (Jonah Hill) on an unsuspecting Manhattan with three children of privilege in his haphazard care. A fouled-up take on Adventures in Babysitting, the movie’s at its strongest when it lets Hill just do

“

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his goober-fied, incredulous, voicefluctuating thing. The Sitter goes too far, though, when it tries to be sweet. It’s all too silly to be taken seriously. —D.L.

THE SKIN I LIVE IN|AAntonio Banderas plays Robert Ledgard, a cosmetic surgeon obsessed with creating a more durable synthetic replacement for human skin. His guinea pig is a woman (Elena Anaya) who lives locked in an upstairs room in his house, her body covered by a form-fitting suit and her face encased in a translucent mask. Watching her exterior tells us little; it’s the way the pieces fit together that reveals. The Skin I Live In is Pedro Almodóvar’s best film in more than a decade, confident

PETER TRAVERS

EASILY ONE OF

RES! ’ EST PICTU THE YEAARNSGB IVES A PERFORMANCE

GARY OLDM ETAIL.the EVERYhimDpar AWLESSplaIN ry with THAT IS FLt act ing tch Wa . net ors on the rdy

explosive Tom Ha He is one of the bes or put the screws to an electrifying Colin Firth in film artistry. ss cla r ste ma a is ce without raising his voi

ER , ” A DEVILISHLY CLEVLL ER! MIND-BENDING THRI

SHAME|B+ Michael Fassbender takes on the role of Brandon Sullivan, a cocksure Manhattan executive whose serial sport-fucking quickly reveals itself as an insatiable compulsion. Brandon’s rhythm is upset when his younger sister (Carey Mulligan) turns up in his apartment. Steve McQueen has a weakness for pushing his points too hard, until they become freestanding works of their own; yet late in Shame, McQueen and co-writer Abi Morgan tilt the story on its side, revealing Brandon’s addiction as a mere symptom of a deeper rot, one that, for once, McQueen merely implies rather than pounding into the ground. —S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

GARY OLDMAN

TINKER TAIL0R S0LDIER SPY

BENEDICT

SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS|ARobert Downey Jr. and Jude Law return for a 1891-set Holmes sequel with all the same great fight scenes and premeditated plans of attack, this time centered on evil mastermind James Moriarty (Jared Harris) and his plans for world destruction. But even

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MELANCHOLIA|B+ If Antichrist was Lars von Trier’s anguished depiction of his own crippling depression, which was so severe he couldn’t hold a camera steady for years, Melancholia is a fatalistic reconciliation that embraces his illness. While not as clinically detached as Dogville, Melancholia has a bloodless beauty, not unlike its pale-skinned heroine. The movie doesn’t stint on its

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE — GHOST PROTOCOL|B

the bleak fate of the world can’t bring down the mischievous Holmes-andWatson duo, whose bromance gets even sillier in round two. A Game of Shadows isn’t as fluid as the first film, but director Guy Ritchie’s visual effects and cleverly produced shots remind viewers that this is an action movie and an artistic one. —Anna Pan (Roxy)

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J. EDGAR|C Clint Eastwood’s penchant for sweeping out the dusty corners of bygone eras is done no favors by his bundling of the private J. Edgar Hoover, more myopic than biopic. Leonardo DiCaprio’s Hoover is a twitchy, odious caricature; while screenwriter Dustin Lance Black does well parsing the man’s much-dissected preferences, stoking real human warmth between Hoover and his suspected lover, these moments are infrequent, as Eastwood is too fixated on his jumping-bean narrative to think about whether we care about the people who comprise it. —Drew Lazor (Ritz at the Bourse)

drance on his brother’s relationship, his sole purpose being coaxing elder statesman Kermit (Steve Whitmire) into getting the gang back together for a benefit show to save the bricks. Yes, puppets can be unlikable. —D.L.

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HUGO|B+ Martin Scorsese’s depiction of filmmaking pioneer Georges Méliès is an effusion of uncontrolled passion and paralyzing heartbreak, a late-night missive scrawled in the heat of emotion and destined to be wadded up and tossed away in the morning light. Adapting Brian Selznick’s novel The Invention of Hugo Cabret, Scorsese has found a means to fully express his irrational and overwhelming adoration of the silver screen. But there is an undeniable magic to the worshipful re-creations of Méliès’ productions, and an electric wonder when these still-entrancing films jostle their way onto a screen usually reserved for only the modernest of spectacles. —Shaun Brady

planet-size central metaphor, building to a climax that puts the scope of modern theaters to vigorous use. But for a movie about losing control, Melancholia sometimes exercises too much of it. —S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

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Lisbeth Salander, David Fincher’s Hollywood remake of Stieg Larsson’s international best-seller is as cold and unforgiving as a Scandinavian winter. Although it’s styled as a thriller, Dragon Tattoo is more akin to a horror movie that brings its protagonists face to face with their deepest fears. For Lisbeth, whose mute hostility suggests a lifetime of betrayal, it’s being raped at the hands of her state-appointed guardian. For Mikael, it’s investigating the decadespast disappearance of a Swedish industrialist’s daughter, which steers him toward the family’s Nazi ties. He, too, is violated at the film’s climax, but the parallel doesn’t resonate. The skeleton is there, but it hasn’t been fleshed out. —S.A.

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and deeply unsettling, with a climactic twist that all but requires repeat viewing. —S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY|ABetrayal necessarily lies at the heart of any spy novel, and it’s especially the case when the story centers on a traitor in the upper echelons of a nation’s intelligence service. Tomas Alfredson’s adaptation of John le Carré’s most celebrated book traces most of the original’s labyrinthine plotting, but the Swedish director is less concerned with maneuvering every twist than with lingering on what gets lost at those crossroads. Deception and subterfuge may be the tools of the trade, but when a life is spent hiding, manipulating, second-guessing and looking over one’s shoulder, an inevitable rot sets in, a deep-set chill that can’t be shaken. Such is the case with Gary Oldman’s George Smiley, which finds the typically passionate actor choking his emotions into such a state of unreadable reserve that he almost seems carved of wood. Edged into an early retirement from his No. 2 spot at “the Circus” (the jargon-filled tale’s nickname for MI6), Smiley finds himself betrayed by the institution to which he’s pledged his life and loyalty, and by his wife, who’s left him for another in a long string of lovers. Called back into service to flush out a mole amidst the agency’s new leaders, Smiley is forced to compartmentalize his feelings and his sense of duty, however misguided. Alfredson plunges the viewer into the midst of the spy trade with little hand-holding, letting the audience get a bit lost in all the characters, their fractured identities and their arcane doublespeak. Following the intrigue, though, isn’t as important as taking in the icy atmosphere, all muted browns and

yellows and submerged emotions, which allow that heroes and villains are just more false identities. —S.B. (Ritz East)

TOMBOY|A It’s summertime, and Jeanne (Malonn Lévana) and Laure’s (Zoé Héran) mother is distractedly pregnant, so the girls are left to find their way around their new neighborhood. When Laure meets a new friend who mistakes her for a boy, she takes on the new role without thinking it through. She renames herself Michaël and, over the rest of the summer, sees how different life is for boys: They can take their shirts off, play soccer, flirt with girls. The sisters hang on to the secret, exploring the possibilities of boyness. It’s this relationship that shapes the storyline: Even as Laure is “found out,” the film doesn’t resolve the dilemma of gender she’s stumbled on. —C.F.

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN, PART 1|D This is easily the shittiest and most listless Twilight yet. The creepy wedding of vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson) and mouth-breathing human Bella (Kristen Stewart) begins the proceedings. Bella hopes they’re gonna do it soooo much on their Brazilian honeymoon … and just like that, she’s kicking around barefoot with a blood-sucking baby inside her, prompting an interminable series of arguments about the value of life between supernatural beings who can’t even die. Though there is some action involving wolves growling at each other, all the heavy lifting/biting is relegated to 2012’s Part 2, leaving us with nothing more than Pattinson, Stewart and Taylor Lautner looking sullen. —D.L.

WAR HORSE|AAlbert (Jeremy Irvine), the son of an Irish tenant farmer, receives a magnificent foal as a gift and bonds powerfully with the animal before it’s sold to pay his family’s debts. With the Great War under way, the horse is drafted as a cavalry charger, but when its new owner falls in battle, the horse changes hands, aiding French brothers in an attempt to escape conscription and pulling German artillery. It’s a magical story, the kind one both anticipates and dreads Steven Spielberg getting his hands on, but it’s been a long time since his sense of when to milk a moment and when to let it play out without comment has been so acute. Even John Williams, whose bombastic scores typically leave audiences with their ribs sore from prodding, rises to the challenge, crafting magnificent swells that fall somewhere between Aaron Copland and Wagner. From its onthe-nose title to the most souped-up color views of the Irish countryside since The Quiet Man, War Horse is not a movie that tries to cover its tracks, but when it works, you’re more than willing to be led by the hand. As he shifts from French farmhouses to the muddy trenches of the Somme, Spielberg takes in the war from an evershifting point of view, although he does consistently flinch from the sight of blood; it’s a movie where characters disappear in a puff of mustard gas rather than being blown to shreds. Despite its high-gloss finish, it’s deliberately, calculatedly old-fashioned filmmaking that almost no one else could pull off. —S.A. (Ritz Five)

WE BOUGHT A ZOO|CThere’s not much suspense involved when Matt Damon and his adorably precocious daughter stumble upon a

run-down zoo for sale during an otherwise routine day of house-hunting. The title lets slip the outcome of that unlikely turn, but it would take only a few extra words to give away everything else that happens in Cameron Crowe’s plodding family drama. Life lessons are learned, romances are sparked, wounds are healed, all while a cast of imperfect humans see themselves reflected in the soulful eyes of a few caged animals. The setting naturally offers plenty of opportunities to focus on both kids and critters, and Crowe never misses a chance to fill the screen with cute. There’s a dying tiger, a shoulder-perched capuchin, a lovesick Elle Fanning, and Damon’s aforementioned daughter, who pushes the wise toddler preciosity to irritating extremes. What is missing from this menagerie, however, is any sense of involvement; everything from the cartoonish zoo inspector to the rote squabbles between father and struggling son are played out with a by-the-numbers detachment. Damon tries his best even as he’s left with little to do but choke back tears as he remembers his dead wife, but Scarlett Johansson is given nothing to work with as his zookeeper/love interest. Indicatively, even the soundtrack feels like Crowe 101, a mixtape tossed together from familiar and often-revisited parts. —S.B.

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(Patrick Wilson) had a baby. Deluded by her own tattered level of urban sophistication and battered beauty, Mavis heads back to that hometown with seduction on her mind. Reitman and Cody paint their coming-of-middle-age portrait with a dark palette this time out: bleaker comic twitches, neon-dappled nights, blasé suburban tones. —A.D. Amorosi

✚ REPERTORY FILM COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. Die Hard (1988, U.S., 131 min.): “All things being equal, I’d rather be in Philadelphia.” Fri., Dec. 30, 9:45 p.m., $8.

MEDIUM RARE CINEMA 7141 Germantown Ave., regrettablesincerity.com. The Music of Chance (1993, U.S., 98 min.): Two amateur gamblers get in over their heads when they play with a group of high-rollers. Thu., Dec. 29, 7 p.m., $7.

YOUNG ADULT|BThe creative team behind Juno — director Jason Reitman, writer Diablo Cody — proposed a slightly different bent for their wordy, smart-ass female lead. Young Adult’s Mavis Gary (a rumpled, boozing, eye-rolling Charlize Theron) is a glad-to-be-unhappy ghostwriter whose quickly unraveling life gets another jolt when she discovers that her now-married ex-beau

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the agenda

[ in accordance with the mayan calendar ]

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agenda

the

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FOUR MOM BOND: Motherhood the Musical is playing at the Society Hill Playhouse through Feb. 19.

IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Josh Middleton or enter them yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

THURSDAY

12.29 [ theater ]

MOTHERHOOD THE MUSICAL There’s no bad time to honor mothers, so, holidays or not, Motherhood the Musical is a hot ticket. Sue Fabisch’s long-running musical at the Society Hill Playhouse, subtitled The Good,

the Bad … and the Laundry, features Ilona Ahearn as a career woman and mom, Donnie Hammond as a stay-at-home mom, and Ellie Mooney as a mom-to-be in 22 rockin’ songs about their travails and triumphs. Lisa Shriver’s dynamic production is loaded with cute surprises, and the whole show rides an oxygen high, despite the (justified, and hilarious) complaints about unruly kids, oblivious husbands, and nonstop toil that elicited much empathy from a mostly female audience (and me, along with a little guilt). —Mark Cofta Through Feb. 19, $45, Society Hill Playhouse, 507 S. Eighth St., 215-9230210, societyhillplayhouse.org.

[ theater/history ]

FIGHTING FOR DEMOCRACY: WHO IS THE “WE” IN “WE THE PEOPLE”? The National Constitution Center is a fine place for kids to

learn about history, but it’s also a robust contributor to Philadelphia’s theater scene. Through Jan. 16, the original play Fighting for Democracy: Who is the ‘We’ in ‘We the People’? runs in conjunction with the exhibition about seven Americans who fought discrimination at home as well as enemies overseas in World War II. Only in Philadelphia, though, did a venue hosting the touring exhibit create a play to bring these heroes to life. Jorge Cousineau creates vivid projections that illuminate period photos, but it’s Suli Holum’s script, David Bradley’s direction, and committed performances from three actors that make these extraordinary figures real. Meanwhile, the NCC features continuing performances of Freedom Rising and Living News, providing not only historical insights, but demonstrating live theater’s power as a dynamic artistic and educational force. —Mark Cofta Through Jan. 16, $8-$12, National Constitution Center, 525 Arch St., 215409-6700, constitutioncenter.org.

[ rock/pop ]

CHEERS ELEPHANT/ILLINOIS Not to be lost in the year-end top-10 deluge is Man Is Nature, the excellent sophomore outing from Philly mod-pop dudes Cheers Elephant. A big step forward from their self-titled 2008 debut, this album sees the band notching down the psychedelic fuzz while refining their approach to arrangement, bringing both song craft and instrumental skill into clear focus. “Shark Attack” is bright and peppy with an irresistible guitar lead; the sing-along “Como Es La Vida” will get you every time. The band’s 2012 follow-up is reportedly in the can, so expect some material to première during this pre-New Year’s set. Also on the bill is Bucks County mainstays Illinois, whose odds-and-sods collection Lemonade Stand was almost lost indeed, but we’re glad we found it. The album was soft-released in late Au-

gust, and continues to deliver the band’s trademark quirky melodies and catchy keyboard lines that sit well alongside tasty ’90s distortion pedals. Like Cheers, Illinois also has a release on the horizon, so listen for new goodness in their set, as well. —John Vettese Thu., Dec. 29, 9 p.m., $10, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 877435-9849, johnnybrendas.com.

FRIDAY

12.30 [ film ]

CINEMATIC TITANIC If you found yourself singing “A Patrick Swayze Christmas” this Yuletide, you’re obviously a dedicated MSTie. Mystery

Science Theater 3000 remained popular on DVD years after it left cable TV in 1999, and its creators returned to full-time movie riffing. While three MST3K vets started Rifftrax, five other alums — Joel Hodgson (Joel Robinson), Trace Beaulieu (Crow T. Robot/ Dr. Forrester), Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester), Frank Conniff (TV’s Frank) and J. Elvis Weinstein (the original Tom Servo) — founded Cinematic Titanic in 2007. Hodgson and co. originally produced DVDs in a studio, but upon discovering how well their comedy played in concert, they’ve been releasing live DVDs ever since. They ushered in 2010 with back-to-back-to-back movies at the Keswick, and CT returns to Glenside for the holidays with a less-congested schedule. On their menu are two slices of 1970s movie cheese: The Astral Factor, with Stefanie Powers and Elke Sommer, and the 1974 Italian horror film Frankenstein’s

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The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings.

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love

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Show them you them…

VALENTINE’S DAY GUIDE appearing on February 2, 2012! PUBLICATION DATE: February 2 SPACE DEADLINE: January 27 For more information: 215.825.2496

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protest, the importance of politics in the frivolity of youth — these things were part of Hair’s original successes, not just the hippie-dom and the nudity that were added as part of the freeing hedonism of its bigger Broadway run. Fortyfive years later, with a war ending on a troubled conscience and the two-party climate at its most contentious, Hair’s politics have more weight than its sexuality or drugs. Yet the whole orgy-KamaSutra groove of its peace-love lyrical éclat and its quaintly rocking Tin Pan psychedelia are still on board. The set is threadbare. The direction (courtesy Diane Paulus) is stellar. Two original cast members (Steele Burkhardt and Paris Remillard), who were part of the 2009 Tonywinning Broadway cast, are on board. And the sun still shines in. —A.D. Amorosi Jan. 3-8, various times, $20-$100, Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St., 215-893-1999, kimmelcenter.org.

[ the agenda ]

how pure the intent, sooner or later everything gets a dose of it. At least that’s the idea behind the Wilma Theater’s new production, Body Awareness.Thirtyyear-old playwright Annie Baker makes her Philly debut with this slow-paced but highly rewarding comedy about the everyday interactions of gender and political correctness. The story focuses on Joyce and Phyllis — played by Philly-based actresses Mary Martello and Grace Gonglewski — a lesbian couple living in a Vermont college town with Joyce’s 21-yearold son, Jared, who might have Asperger’s syndrome. Things really start to get tense when photographer Frank comes to stay with them and says he wants to shoot 55-year-old Joyce in the nude during the school’s so-called Body Awareness Week. —Meg Augustin

WEDNESDAY

1.04 [ theater ]

30 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

D E C E M B E R 2 9 , 2 0 1 1 - J A N U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

BODY AWARENESS The words “political correctness” might send a chill of liberal unease up your spine, but no matter

Jan. 4-Feb. 5, $39-$66, Wilma Theater, 265 S. Broad St., 215-546-7824, wilmatheater.org.

More on:

citypaper.net ✚ FOR COMPREHENSIVE EVENT LISTINGS, VISIT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / L I S T I N G S .

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Happy Holiday

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f&d

foodanddrink

portioncontrol By Drew Lazor

FIVE FOR FIVE ³ YES, IT IS my job, but dude, keeping track of

all the restaurants that opened in 2011 was crazy challenging. Below are my picks for five of the most notable debuts this calendar year, along with five things we should look forward to as the gods rain apocalyptic blows down upon mankind in 2012. American Sardine Bar (1801 Federal St.): John Longacre and Scott Schroeder of South Philly Tap Room kicked over innumerable civic roadblocks to get this Point Breeze bar up and running. With 16 beers on tap and an honest, sandwich-centric menu everyone can afford, the Sardine already feels broken in — and it’s only been around a month. Sbraga (Symphony House, 440 S. Broad St.):By offering a four-course prix-fixe format for $45 a head (just $30 more for wine pairings), Kevin Sbraga’s proven that you don’t need to charge slap-in-themouth prices for ambitious downtown cuisine. Stateside (1536 E. Passyunk Ave.): East Passy’s been hopping for a minute, but not until the arrival of Stateside was the Nouveau Restaurant Row able to boast about something previously elusive in South Philly: real nice cocktails. But let’s also give credit to chef George Sabatino, who’s put together Stateside’s menu with personality and precision. Tashan (777 S. Broad St.): No new-in-2011 restaurant is working with more ambition than Tashan, where chefs Sylva Senat and Sanjay Shende are cooking next-level Indian cuisine. Vedge (1221 Locust St.): Rich Landau and Kate Jacoby are stronger than ever with their beautiful vegan restaurant, which is attracting a food-loving crowd that never really bought into Horizons. Five to look forward to in 2012: Alla Spina (600 N. Broad St.): Marc Vetri’s Italian beer bar will join Vie and Route 6 at Broad and Mount Vernon sometime in February. Jamonera (105 S. 13th St.): Marcie Turney and Valerie Safran are going Spanish with this wine-bar redo of Bindi, which is aiming for January. La Calaca Feliz (2321 Fairmount Ave.): Tim Spinner and Brian Sirhal of Fort Washington’s Cantina Feliz are bringing their sharp mod-Mexi food and drink to Fairmount in January. Royal Sushi and Izakaya (782 S. Second St.): Stephen Simons and Dave Frank (the Cantinas, Royal Tavern, Khyber Pass Pub) aren’t saying much about their long-planned Japanese bar in Queen Village right now. C’mon, guys, we want ramen! Russet (1521 Spruce St.): Married chefs Andrew and Kristin Wood hope to make a sizable splash with their serious farm-driven BYOB in Center City, up for late January or early February. (drew.lazor@citypaper.net)

NICE ARMS: Opa’s octopus, served with chickpea fondue, made the cut as one of Adam Erace’s favorite restaurant dishes of 2011. NEAL SANTOS

rimmed morsels taste like more than the grill, credit to a red wine braise and the runoff of sherry vinegar from the accompanying chickpea “fondue.”

[ the year in eats ]

SEASON’S EATINGS Our restaurant critic names his 10 favorite dishes of 2011. By Adam Erace

A

dam Erace eats out more than anyone I know, so it wasn’t easy for him to select the 10 best dishes of 2011 from the hundreds he’s shoveled down since January. “For this list, I thought about the dishes that I wanted to eat again,” says Erace. In other words, he’s scheduled return trips to go Round 2 on most of the plates detailed here. Weighted votes indeed. —Drew Lazor ³ NO. 10: BAKLAVA, MANAKEESH CAFÉ

“... the crushed pistachios [...] glowing superMore on: naturally greener with each step...” [March 3] The Lebanese flatbreads for which this West Philly café is named were terrific, but it’s the pastries I remember most. The baklava in particular, 100 brittle little layers, gem-toned and not too sweet. The bakers facet them into square and pear and princess cuts and display them with the same care and grandeur of anyone on Jeweler’s Row.

citypaper.net

³ NO. 9: OCTOPUS, OPA

“The knife slipped as easily into those legs as the bow of Prince Eric’s storm-tossed ship into Ursula’s muffin-top ...” [April 7] The octopus at Opa, the preferred invertebrate of Mediterranean kitchens, is easily the best I’ve had this year. The snow-white, red-

³ NO. 8: MARINATED PRIME RIB, BOBO’S

“... the prime rib was the resounding favorite, marinated 48 hours in a brew featuring soy, sesame, scallion, chili powder and secret ingredients only known to Auntie #2...” [June 9] Of all the restaurants I’ve covered in 2011, I had the most fun writing about Bobo’s, the Korean barbecue, sports bar and karaoke crypt in Oxford Circle. From the buckwheat noodles over crushed ice to the corps of “aunties” running the restaurant, I loved so much about this place, especially the flavorful marinated prime rib seared on the tabletop grill. MORE FOOD AND DRINK COVERAGE AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / M E A LT I C K E T.

³ NO. 7 WONTON SOUP, YANG YANG EXPRESS

“The gossamer wontons wore tattered white robes, drifting through the soup like secondhand phantoms ...” [Oct. 10] I never knew wonton soup could be more than gummy dumplings and rubbery pork. Upper Darby’s Yang Yang Express (aka “Dumpling House”) proved otherwise, via marine additions (dried shrimp, seaweed) and wontons of incomparable lightness.

³ NO. 6 FOIE GRAS SOUP, SBRAGA

“The soup was rich and lusty, as expected, but then came something unexpected: lemongrass? And notes of curry, developing like >>> continued on adjacent page

[ food & drink ]

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

✚ Season’s Eatings <<< continued from previous page

I never know wonton soup could be more than gummy dumplings.

feedingfrenzy By Drew Lazor

food

photographs in a dark room ...” [Dec. 15] Kevin Sbraga’s affection for Asian flavors (crystallized during time in Singapore filming the finale of Top Chef) was very evident in this velvety purée. Get to Sbraga and order this soup before spring sends it packing.

“Served on a cool, white swipe of housemade yogurt, the roasted and smashed root looked bloody indeed, as red and black as a prizefighter’s mug.” [May 19] In my review of Joshua and Colleen Lawler’s BYOB, I called this an amazing fucking dish. It is, so full of flavor and such a testament to the chef, who’s able to creatively manipulate the humble, crunchy beet into a meaty, brawny specimen capable of rivaling a rib eye. ³ NO. 4: MACKEREL IN RHUBARB BROTH, THE FARM AND THE FISHERMAN

“... wild, rosé-blushed rhubarb broth [was] a chilled sweet-and-sour habitat for tapioca pearls and dominoes of seared Spanish mackerel.” [May 19] While Lawler’s beet steak got tons of food-writer ass this spring (see above), I threw myself at the mackerel even harder, odd considering I’m not even big on mackerel in the first place. This dish made me love the fish, cleansed of its sins by the bright, winey rhubarb water and finished with tiny leaves of lemon balm. ³ NO. 3: FOIE GRAS PARFAIT, TALULA’S GARDEN

³ NO. 2 SHIKAARI QUAIL, TASHAN

“I don’t think any gamesmen take the time to marinate their catch in clove, ginger, garlic and yogurt, let alone stuff it with tamarind and peanut rice ...” [Nov. 24] Some might cry gimmick at the aromatic smoke released when the dome is lifted off Tashan’s quail, and were this game bird not so beautifully cooked and boldly spiced, I might agree. But it’s both those things, representative of the exciting cooking at 777 South Broad. ³ NO. 1: UNCLE JOE’S STROMBOLI, SANTUCCI’S

Hickory Lane | Matt Zagorski, a serial chef consul-

tant since leaving Rouge, has a new home-base kitchen — Hickory Lane, a Fairmount bistro taking over what was L’Oca. Partnering with former L’Oca front-ofhouser Jack Henderson, Zagorski is cooking a modern American menu for dinner right now (line-caught fluke, beef carpaccio, crispy pork belly with shrimp); this weekend, they’ll introduce Saturday/Sunday breakfast/ brunch starting at 8 a.m., with eventual plans to open at 7 a.m. daily for all-day service. Hickory Lane’s BYO for now, but expect a liquor license in the future. 2025 Fairmount Ave., 215-769-2420, hickorylanebistro.com.

gracetavern.com

Lemon Hill | This good-lookin’ corner space, a col-

laboration between Mitch Prensky of Supper and Mike Welsh of The Franklin, opened yesterday. Prensky’s designed a menu more homey and downmarket than his South Street restaurant; dishes like shrimp and grits, brick-oven-baked flatbreads and a true-blue patty melt are complemented by a taut beverage program built by Franklin barkeep Al Sotack. The restaurant’s open daily from 5 p.m. on, with weekend brunch coming soon. 747 N. 25th St., 215-232-2299, lemonhillphilly.com. Han Dynasty | The always-schemin’ Han Chiang sur-

prised fans of his local Sichuan restaurants by opening a brand-new location in Manayunk last week. It serves the same menu as Chiang’s Old City location at 108 Chestnut. 4358 Main St., 215-508-2066, handynasty.net. Rocchino’s and Azione | Rob LaScala of LaScala’s

(615 Chestnut St.) has debuted these interconnected restaurants in Old City’s old Dolce/Paradigm digs. Azione does large-portion family-style Italian-American dining at big tables (lamb shank, baked manicotti, shrimp parm), while Rocchino’s deals in coal-oven pizzas, small-plate antipasti and hearty pasta plates. Lots of Italian craft beers on tap on the Rocchino’s side. Chef Joe Nocella of LaScala’s runs both operations, which serve lunch and dinner daily. Azione, 241 Chestnut St., 215-238-9983, azionefamilystyle.com; Rocchino’s, 239 Chestnut St., 215-238-6900, rocchinos.com.

Got A Tip? Please send restaurant news to drew.lazor@citypaper.net

or call 215-735-8444, ext. 218.

35

“... the ‘Uncle Joe,’ [filled] with prosciutto, coppa, salami and pepper-jack, I’d order on my deathbed.” [Sept. 22] Since reviewing Santucci’s, I’ve eaten at least a dozen meat-packed Uncle Joes, and it’s perfect every time: zesty, salty, crispy and black-bottomed from old castiron pans that have seen decades of seasoning. This is what I crave when I wake up and when I go to bed. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

³ NOW SEATING

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“The parfait is terrine-molded and baked, sliced and plated with pistachios, cherries, brioche and stupefyingly good apricot butter scented with summer savory that Santoro grows just a few feet from where I was sitting.” [July 7] This was my first taste of Michael Santoro’s cooking, and I fell very hard for it. Of course, creative differences drove Santoro from Talula’s in the opening months. Wherever he winds up in 2012, I hope there’ll be foie gras.

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³ NO. 5: BLOODY BEET STEAK, THE FARM AND FISHERMAN

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[ food & drink ]

HOW WE DO IT: The restaurants, bars and markets listed in this section rotate every week and are compiled by City Paper editorial staff. To search our comprehensive restaurant listings, visit us online at citypaper.net/restaurants. If you have suggestions or corrections, please email restaurants@citypaper.net.

✚ BAR/PUB

✚ FRENCH

EAST GIRARD GASTROPUB

PICKLED HERON

Chef Rob Holloway, who purchased Fathom from friend/partner Mike Stollenwerk, has completed his conversion of the Fishtown bar into East Girard Gastropub (call it “The Egg�). The raw bar and a few dishes have stayed, but the rest of the menu’s brand-new — look for specialties like fish tacos, hanger steak with chimichurri, and bangers and mash with housemade sausages. The Egg serves dinner nightly, plus Sunday brunch from noon to 3. 200 E. Girard Ave., 267-761-9343, theeggpub.com.

LUCKY’S LAST CHANCE

Lucky’s Last Chance is a Main Street bar offering a heavily crafty beer selection and a clever burgerforward menu. Mike Gartner and Chris Barnes are doing six beers on tap and 28 in bottles to complement chef Pat Brady’s menu, which features options like a PB&J bacon burger and the cheese-stuffed “Jucy Lucy� style famous in Minneapolis. Upstairs is a dancefloor where the focus is on electronic and house music. 4421 Main St., 215509-6005, luckyslastchance.com.

✚ CHINESE

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RED KINGS

In Chinatown, some restaurants are transcendent, some are shitty and the majority dwell in the limbo between. Red Kings is a winner. Hold out for the double-cooked pork, shaved into long, wavy noodles tangled with tender wokfried greens; the crisp, greaseless scallion pancakes; salt-baked spareribs; and thin-sliced beef tendon lashed with chili vinaigrette. Open Mon.-Thu., 10:30-a.m.-10:30 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 10:30 a.m.-11:30 p.m.; Sun., 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m. 933 Race St., 215-351-5388.

✚ DINER MEL’S KITCHEN

At Mel’s Kitchen, an unassuming little luncheonette in Roxborough, Philadelphia University students and Umbria Street auto-body mechanics alike visit the 20 redpadded swivel stools for bacon-eggand-cheeses, twice-monthly jambalaya and sandwiches stuffed with Italian-style roast pork, owner Melanie Hannon’s dad’s recipe. Try the slices of juicy, garlicky pig layered with house-baked ham, Swiss cheese and Dijon glue between tall slabs of Texas toast in a buxom Monte Cristo. Egg-battered and cooked on the flattop griddle, the warm, soft, subtly sweet sandwich is like having a hug for lunch. Open Mon.-Fri., 6:30 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sat., 7 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sun., 8 a.m.-2 p.m. 5001 Umbria St., 215-487-2020, melskitchen.net.

Husband/wife chef team Todd Braley and Daniela D’Ambrosio have opened their long-awaited Frankford Avenue BYOB. It’s a Francophilic affair, with escargot en croute, moule frites and seared foie starters joining mains like roast chicken, pan-seared skate and braised short ribs. They’re serving dinner every day but Monday. 218 Frankford Ave., 215634-5666, thepickledheron.com.

✚ MEXICAN HONEST TOM’S TACO SHOP

Two and a half years after he rolled out his much-admired taco truck, Tom McCusker has moved on up to a brick-and-mortar restaurant in West Philly, on the same block as Local 44 and Tampopo. The mostly takeout shop opens early for breakfast with locally roasted GreenStreet coffee, then moves into lunch/dinner (tacos and burritos). Right now the shop’s open daily from 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. To focus on the new spot, McCusker is temporarily suspending his weekly truck schedule, with the exception of Clark Park on Saturdays; he’ll be back at Aviator Park on weekdays this spring. 261 S. 44th St., 215620-1851, twitter.com/honesttoms.

✚ PIZZERIA PITRUCO PIZZA

Serving pizza out of a trailer dragged by one of the owners’ trucks, Pitruco’s blistered, misshapen product possesses an honest sensibility that can only be described as staunchly Italian, in a very good way. They impress not only for their crisp-bottomed, puffy-rimmed pies — try their twist on a classic Margherita, sliced tomato overlapping petals of Claudio’s sopresatta and bufala mozzarella — but also for where those pies are made: outside. At LOVE Park (16th Street and JFK Boulevard) Mon. and Wed., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m.; at 33rd and Arch Tue. and Thu., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. and 4:30-7:30 p.m. 33rd and Arch streets, twitter.com/ pitrucopizza.

SANTUCCI’S ORIGINAL SQUARE PIZZA

Famous for its intoxicatingly delicious cheese-on-bottom, sauceon-top square pizzas, the Santucci clan has opened its first-ever South Philly location in at 10th and Christian. This branch offers more than just pies: The sit-down is also featuring starters, salads, sandwiches, meatballs and even Sunday brunch. Open Mon.-Thu., 10 a.m.-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 10 a.m.11 p.m.; Sun., 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 901 S. 10th St., 215-825-5304.

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

[ food & drink ]

[ the week in eats ]

✚ WHAT’S COOKING 2301 FAIRMOUNT AVE PHILADELPHIA

215.978.4545

food

LONDONGRILL.COM

classifieds

New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day at Opa Sat.,

Dec. 31, seatings between 5-10 p.m., $55-$75; Sun., Jan. 1, 11:30 a.m.-6 p.m., pay as you go ³ Opa is celebrating the last night of 2011 with a four-course prix-fixe featuring plates like their popular octopus (one of Adam Erace’s fave dishes of the year; see p. 34) and butter-poached lobster with orzo and lobster-metaxa demiglace. Seatings run from 5 to 10 p.m., with DJ Cool K spinning after everyone’s stuffed. The next day, the restaurant will serve from 11:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., offering gyros with fries for just $5.95, plus deals on beer, wine and cocktails. 1311 Sansom St., 215-545-0170, opaphiladelphia.com.

% & ( ) " +

New Year’s Eve at In Riva Sat., Dec. 31, 5 p.m., $35-$55

Brunch at The Trestle Inn Sun., Jan. 1, 1-5 p.m., pay

as you go ³ The recently revamped Trestle picked one of the biggest Philly drinking days of the year to roll out their new Sunday brunch. Good thing they’re packing a new brunch cocktail list and a slew of Bloody varieties to go along with chef Travis Messman’s menu, which features dishes like biscuits and gravy and a bison bacon burger. The whiskey-soaked go-go bar also promises live entertainment for all comers. After the 1st, Trestle’s brunch will kick off every Sunday at 11 a.m. The Trestle Inn, 339 N. 11th St., 267-239-0290, thetrestleinn.com. Amis Industry Night with Casa Mono Mon., Jan. 2,

10 p.m.-1 a.m., free food, pay as you go drinks ³ For its first industry night of 2012, Amis welcomes NYC’s Casa Mono. (Amis chef Brad Spence worked there prior to joining Marc Vetri’s team.) The Casa crew is all about the goat, serving goat liver-stuffed artichokes and oil-poached goat with creamed Tuscan kale; Amis is getting goosey, offering chestnut bucatini with goose ragu and crispy goose leg with blood orange/coriander marmalade. Show a bar or restaurant pay stub at the door to get in. Amis, 412 S. 13th St., 215-732-2647, amisphilly.com.

Open 7 Days a Week Restaurant and Banquet Room

NEW YEARS EVE

3 Seatings Early Bird 5:30pm & 7pm. After 9pm Seating Watch Fireworks from Roof Deck With Complementary Champagne Toast Wharton & Moyamensing Philadelphia PA Phone - 215-336-3033

We specialize in all types of events: Our Elegant Second Floor Dining Room Seats up to 100 guests FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO OUR WEBSITE WWW.CAFFEVALENTINO.COM OR CALL OUR OFFICE AND EVENT PLANNER | 267-455-0540

37

—Drew Lazor

South Philadelphia’s

PREMIER ITALIAN BYOB

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | D E C E M B E R 2 9 , 2 0 1 1 - J A N U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

³ East Falls’ In Riva is taking it outside this NYE. Chef Arthur Cavaliere is doing a four-courser (lamb meatballs, black bass piccata, duck pizza, etc.) with an option for pairings of beers from Italy’s Birrificio Bruton. Dinner runs from 5 to 11, but head out to the patio at 9:30 for a live performance from Lancaster’s Carousel Kings. They’ll pour $2 Bruton beers during the show to keep you toasty along the river. In Riva, 4116 Ridge Ave., 215-438-4848, in-riva.com.

27 31

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By Matt Jones

35

“THE WORST OF 2011� — IT’S YEAR-END, MY FRIEND

classifieds

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city

jonesin’

22 26

FREE

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✚ ACROSS 1 6 11 14 15 16 17

19 20 21 22 23 25

28 31 33

34 39 40 41 43

46 47 48 49 53

___-Barbera cartoons Thesaurus guy Fight determination Another name for a person With a BMI over 30 Burgundy played by Will Ferrell Adam Sandler cringefest that topped many “Worst Movie of 2011â€? lists “Who ___ you kidding?â€? “Very interesting ‌ â€? “Hey, wait ___!â€? U.S. Treasury agents Scrappy-___ (crime-fighting pup) HP tablet released in July 2011, then discontinued six weeks later (then revived later in the year!) Leftover in a tray Yukon manufacturer Cote d’Ivoire’s prime minister Guillaume ___ (hidden in WINDSOR, ONTARIO) Metacritic’s lowest-rated fall 2011 TV show “Nice haircut ‌ did you ___ bet?â€? Dorm leaders Artless His “Seeking Major Tomâ€? made Pitchfork’s “Worst Album Covers of 2011â€? list Kettle Brand’s line of corn chips Skin art, slangily Chang’s Siamese twin Doomed Netflix offshoot on CNET’s “20 Worst-Named Tech Productsâ€? The Darjeeling Limited director

Anderson 55 Fork point 56 Brand of big rig 58 Steel beam named for the letter it resembles 62 Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s former org. 63 Tackle box item turned hair accessory that was one of Yahoo!’s “Worst Trends of 2011� 66 Health care assn. 67 Come up 68 Sing from the mountaintops 69 Neighbor of Isr. 70 Underneath 71 Persuasive piece

✚ DOWN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 18 22 24 26 27 28

Pilgrim to Mecca “Woe be unto me!� Excellent 1997 David Sedaris book Simile center Guns, in old slang ___ d’art Company with a green mascot Course for immigrants: abbr. Abbr. on a business card Gymnastics event in the Olympics Seoul’s location How hair may stand Supermodel Campbell It may be empty Crazy Horse’s group of Sioux Org. for an admiral Word with a common origin Athlete’s knee injury site, often

✚ Š2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

29 30 32 35 36 37 38 42 44 45 49 50 51 52 54 57 59 60 61 63 64 65

Take third place Secretly is conspiring against Michael of Arrested Development Approve something again on Facebook Late comedian Kinison Helper, for short Cinematographer Nykvist Rowing machine unit “Was ___ das?� Actor Ethan Wax removers Milquetoast Medium where addresses include “@� Rizzo of “Midnight Cowboy� Grain holders Take some tabacky Chums Section Count (on) Laundry detergent brand Before, to poets `Reuben bread

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market place

Adoptions ADOPTION

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION?

Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293.

Public Notices EARN COLLEGE DEGREE ONLINE

*Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV Certifi ed. Call 888-220-3984. www.CenturaOnline.com

Automotive Marketplace

Fast,flexible,funding solutions. Call MCG 1-888-2580658. Visit www.mcgfinancing.net. REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

Special Price! Call (215)-8734835. 1218 Chestnut St.

Lessons & Workshops HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA!

Graduate in just 4 weeks!!! FREE Brochure. Call NOW!! 1-800-532-6546 Ext. 97 www. continentalacademy.com

Home Services DAYCARE $100 CASH BACK

Register your child @ FIRST CHOICE DAYCARE and receive $100.00 Instantly. * 3 Months to 6years * Infants - Toddlers - Children * CCIS & DPW Accepted * State Certified * Computer Classes * Field Trips Come in and see how your child’s future will be brighten with us!!! Monday - Friday 6:30am - 6pm www. FirtstChoiceDaycare.com 215-492-5389 1333 S. 49th St Philadelphia, PA 19143 (49th & Woodland Ave)

³

jobs

A qualified candidate has a CPA or Master’s degree in accounting and a minimum of 4 years of relevant financial experience. Must have non-profi t accounting experience. The candidate must have strong analytical and communication skills. Email cover letter, resume, and salary requirements to carorock@familybusinessmagazine.com AIRLINES ARE HIRING:

Train for high paying Aviation Maintenance Career. FAA approved program. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance (888) 8349715. EARN $75-$200 HOUR

(Now 25% Off) Media Makeup Artist Training. For ads, TV, Film, Fashion. 1wk class. Learn & Portfolio. AwardMakeUpSchool.com 310364-0665. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Attn: Exp. Reefer Drivers: GREAT PAY/ Freight Lanes from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA. 800-277-0212 or primeinc.com

HELP WANTED DRIVER

CDL drivers wanted to deliver Semi and Box Trucks throughout the NE Region. Tow Vehicle is beneficial. Call 866-764-1601 or www. qualitydriveaway.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

CDL-A Drivers-Steady Miles, New Equipment, Regular Hometime. Dry Can and Flatbed ($500 Sign-On for Flatbed). Benefits after 30 days! CDL G R A D UAT E S N E E D E D. 888-801-5295.

CASH FOR CARS

Owner/Operator’s $5,000 Sign-On Bonus! Tons of war m, prosperous South TX runs! Frac Sand Hauling. Must have tractor, pneumatic trailers, blower. 1-800-3972672.

$$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-405-7619 Ext. 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com

Driver-NEW CAREER FOR THE NEW YEAR! NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED! No credit check! Top Industry pay/quality training. 100% Paid CDL Training 800-326-2778 www. JoinCRST.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

HELP WANTED DRIVER

PAID IN ADVANCE!

Driver: Dry and Refrigerated. Single source dispatch. No tractor older than 3 years. Daily Pay! Various hometime options! CDL-A, 3 months current OTR experience. 800-414-9569. www.driveknight.com

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Attn: Exp. Reefer Drivers: GREAT PAY/ Freight Lanes

³

rentals

Make $1,000 a Week mailing brochures from home!

15TH/SPRUCE: BEAUTIFUL ART DECO HIGH-RISE

Studio Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitchen, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! $950/Mo. 215-735-8030. Available Late February. Lic #219789.

Three+ Bedrooms BEAUTIFUL 3 BEDROOM

JOBS: ORGANIZE THE 99%

Top Pay on Excellent Runs! R e g i o n a l R u n s, S t e a d y Miles, Frequent Hometime, New Equipment. Automatic Detention Pay! CDL-A, 6mo. Experience required. EEOE/ AAP 866-322-4039 www. Drive4Marten.com

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram. net

Apartments for Rent 15TH/SPRUCE: BEAUTIFUL ART DECO HIGHRISE

Studio Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitchen, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! $950/Mo. 215-735-8030. Available Late February. Lic #219789.

South Philly, Newly Painted Interior , Washer and Dryer Included/ Quiet Street $850 a Month 1835 Dudley St Philadelphia PA, 19145 Please Call 215-518-1183 NEWLY RENOVATED

3 Bedroom Beautiful Bedroom- Full Sliding Mirror, Beautiful Newly Painted Exterior. All heat. $850 a Month 1929 Pierce St Philadelphia PA, 19145 Please Call 215-908-6115

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Dr ivers-CDL-A. DRIVE WITH PRIDE. Up to $3,000 Sign-On Bonus for Qualified Drivers! CDL- & 6mo. OTR exp. REQ’D. USA TRUCK 877-521-5775 www.usatruck.jobs HELP WANTED DRIVER

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William A. Torchia, Esquire CONCIERGE LEGAL SERVICES GENERAL PRACTICE – ESTATE & TAX PLANNING

1420 Walnut Street, Suite 1216 215-546-1950; watorchia@gmail.com Williamtorchiaesquire.vpweb.com

Barry Fisher Electrician “LOWEST PRICES IN THE CITY”

•100 Amp Circuit Breaker •Ceiling Fan Installation •Outlets •House Wiring •AC/WD Lines •Home Inspection Repairs

www.BarryFisherElectrician.com (215) 927-0234

Over 42 Yrs Exp! All Work Guaranteed. Immediate Service. Licensed & Insured. Licensed #16493. PA-040852

Help Wanted ACCOUNTANT WANTED

Philadelphia-based Rock School for Dance Education, is seeking a hands-on accountant. The head accountant is responsible for day to day financial activities for the organization; monitoring, reporting, forecasting and managing the finance

GENTLY MOVING YOUR EARTHLY POSSESSIONS

215.670.9535

WWW.MAMBOMOVERS.COM

lulueightball By Emily Flake

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | D E C E M B E R 2 9 , 2 0 1 1 - J A N U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com

HELP WANTED DRIVER

from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA. 800-277-0212 or primeinc.com

Working America / AFL-CIO is Hiring Organizers to Fight For A Fair & Just Economy For All. Motivation & Passion For Economic Justice A Must. $11.44/hr $457.60/wk + B e n s - E O E To A p p l y : 610.940.5848 or philly@ workingamerica.org

AUTOS WANTED

SELL YOUR CAR, TRUCK O R S U V TO DAY ! A l l 5 0 states, fast pick-up and payment. Any condition, make or model. Call now 1-877-8188848 www.MyCarfroCash. net

Benefits and Pay! New Fleet Volvo Tractors! 1 Year OTR Experience Required-Tanker Training Available. Call Today: 877-882-6537. www. OakleyTransport.com

classifieds

UNIQUE ADOPTIONS. Let us help! Personalized Adoption Plans. Financial assistance, housing relocation and more. Giving the gift of life? You deserve the best. Call us first! 1-888-637-8200 24-hours hotline.

COMMERCIAL MORTGAGES

department staff. The accountant, along with the school’s assistant accountant and independent audit firm, is responsible for the organization’s compliance with GAAP. The head accountant will also be the primary interface with the Board on financial matters.

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

³

Business Services

45

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

merchandise market Auto Mechanic Tools/ Snap-On cabinets 609-702-7922/ semenuk6@comcast.net

Buying Boilers, Chillers, Gen-Sets & Laundry Equipment. Call Ed 260.443.8374 BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Mattress Set w/warr, In plastic. $175; Twin $140; 3 pc King $265; Full set $155. Memory foams avl. Del. avl 215-355-3878 Bedroom Set brand new queen 5 pc esp. brown $489. Del Avail 215-355-3878 NEW Mattress Sets, $99: TWIN, FULL, QUEEN, Delivery Available 215-307-1950

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 Home Gym System-Parabody 440 with leg press $1200. 215 441-0630 after 5pm BED A brand new Queen pillow top mattress set w/warr. $229; Full $220; King $299. Memory Foam $295. 215-752-0911

Speakers, Klipsch, model #F-30, floor standing, $350 for both. 267-684-8191

BUYING EAGLES SBL’s & TICKETS

CALL 215-669-1924

Eagles (1) club seat C-22 & seat license, 50 yard line east club sec. (215)527-4784

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

* * * 215-200-0902 * * *

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ REALLY PAID

** Bob 610-532-9408 ***

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

Diabetic Test Strips, $$ Cash Paid $$ Nicotine patches, gum. For highest prices & pick-up, Call 215-395-7100. Diabetic Test Strips needed pay up to $10/box. Most brands. Call 610-453-2525 I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787 I BUY TRAINS Any age, make, condition 856-863-1127 JUNK CARS WANTED Up to $250 for Junk Cars 215-888-8662

everything pets

46 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

D E C E M B E R 2 9 , 2 0 1 1 - J A N U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Jenday Conure and Indian Ringneck with cage, best offer. (610)587-7449

Persian adorable persian kitten 8 wks old choc tortie Fem. 500 (215)208-6220 Ragdoll Kitten, 5 mo. Male, Shots, seal, blue eyes TICA reg. 215-257-7648 Siamese Kittens m/f applehead, purebred, Health Guar. $300+ 610-692-6408

Adorable Puppies for Sale: Morkies, Havanese, Cavaliers, Poodles & more. $400 & up. 610-929-9100 (Reading, PA) Akita Puppies! AKC Beautiful. $1200 www.mainstreetakitas.com BEAGLE Pups, AKC, show champion line, POP, F $500, M $400 215-256-1575 Bichon Frise Puppies. Family raised. $375. Shots, vet checked. 717-484-1258 BICHON/POM PUPS - 1M, 2F, ICA reg., wormed, ready for X-Mas! $325. 856-742-9361 Boston Terrier pups AKC, nice markings ready Christmas wk $600. (717)442-4784 Boxer Christmas Babies AKC White & Fawns Vet Hlth Cert & shots 717-278-6190 BULL TERRIER PUPPY, ICA reg., X- mas special $775/obo. Omar 267-237-1289 Cavalier King Charles M/F, 5 year guarantee. 610-800-1970 or 610-485-4020 CHRISTMAS PUPS - Small Kennel has Yorkies, Shih-tzus & mixes. Health guarantee, affordable! (717)336-4398 Cocker Spaniel pups, short nosed, vet checked, shots, F- $350. (267)242.3408

Doberman pups, AKC, shots & wormed, (609)221-6601 or (856)468-2077

DON’T SHOP ADOPT! English Bulldog AKC reg, 13 wks, 1 female left, $1400, jazzsbulldogs.com ENGLISH BULLDOG PUPPIES - Family raised, great selection, lot’s of wrinkles, $1,500-$1600. Call 717-475-0713 English Bulldog Pups - ACA, vet checked, family raised. Call 717-629-8137 English Bull Dog Pups AKC, M & F, parents, champion sired, health cert., S/W. 484-319-0571 also stud service English Bulldog Pups AKC, M & F, S/W, health certified, papers, 856-906-6478 English Bulldog Pups, all colors, vet cert., papers, shots. 215-696-5832 (Bensalem) ENGLISH BULLDOG PUPS very cute, friendly, family raised on farm, ready to go now, $1175. Call 717-354-4212

German Shepherd/Lab mix pups, shots, ready for christmas, $500. (610)273-9327 GERMAN SHEPHERD PUP - F, blk/tan, shots, 12wks, $350. 267-736-0502 German Shepherd Pups - 100% strong working lines, both parents imported, AKC, excel. with children and protection. $900-$1,200. Call (856)745-3180 GERMAN SHEPHERDS PUPS 10 weeks, shots, $350. 267-243-8476

Goldendoodle pups, Mini & Standard size, hlth cert, s & w, well socialized, great christmas presents 717-687-8845 ext.1 Golden-doodles, F1 & F1B, parents on premices, health guarantee, $500-$1000 . Call (484)678.6696 Golden Lab pups, very cute, family raised, 7M, 2F, $400. (610)593-9800 Golden Retreiver Pups AKC, English Creams, rare all white, $1200 www.icewindgoldens.com 908-797-8200 Golden Retriever Pups, AKC, vet check, S/W, ready 12/24, $425. 717-442-5657

Havanese Pups AKC Registered, parents on site, health guaranteed, $800-$1500. Please Call 484-678-6696 ITALIAN MASTIFF- Blue & Black Brindle, vet checked. $600-$1200. 484-631-5129 JACK RUSSELL Puppies & ENGLISH BULL DOG pup, 8 weeks. 267-721-9309 Keeshond Christmas Puppies for sale! AKC registered. Call at (443) 480-1332. Lab pups, ACA, yellow, 2M, 1F, 10 weeks, vet checked, $500. (717)381-9954 LAB pups, AKC, choc., English & champ lines, parents on prem. excellent temperament, health guar., $800. 717-354-2674 Labra-Doodle pups, F1, Adorable, Vet chkd, shots & wormed. Family raised $800. 717-927-9483 or 717-968-8475 Labrador Retriever ACA lab puppies looking for a good home $550. Call 610-383-7062 Labrador Retriever AKC Pups $700 609-932-6574 Maltese MALTIPOO CHRISTMAS PUPS Light apricot. $350 & up. 267-344-9429 OLDE ENGLISH BULLDOGS 2 male, 9wks, IOEBA reg. Shots. $1200. 215-252-2693 PAPILLON Pups, AKC, first shots, family raised, avail now, $900/neg 610.791.3488 PEKINGESE PUPS M & F, $295-$495. 1 white male - $995. 267-243-9526 PITBULL PUPPIES - 7 males, 1 female, cute & cudley. Cheap. Call (215) 271-8492 Pit Bull Pups 8 wks $300-M, $350 -F NE Phila. Call 215-668-7051 Pit Bull Pups, blue & blue fawn, $200-$250. Call 267-684-8060

Pit Bull pups, F, UKC, solid blue, pick of litter avail., beaut./healthy, 267-229-1653 Pit Bull pups, M/F, S/W, ADBA, blks, reds & bucks, ready now, $325 215-834-1247 Pit Bulls Red Nose, 5 months. & 12 mos., both red & white, $75/ea. 215-254-0562 Pits M & F, 8 & 15 wks, pups 6 & 12 months, wide, start $75. 215-254-0562 POODLE PUPPIES: Standard, home raised, 2 brown, 1 white, 2 cream, all Males, $400. Call 610-489-3781

Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903

jobs Housekeeper, errands, PT-FT, 5 yrs exp, refs,car,bkgd chk,Overbrook,215.290.2100

apartment marketplace

apartment marketplace 45xx Old York Road 1BR $600+elect. newly renovated. 267-872-2472 5849 N. Camac 1BR $650+utils Sec 8 OK 267-271-6601 or 215-416-2757 60XX Warnock 1 BR $595+ near Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $715-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371

Poodle/Standard Pups, AKC, black, health guarantee. $400. (732) 350-3791 PUG PUPS, lovely fawn, Fem., Ch. bldln, shots, vet cert., $675. (610)273-3420 Pug Pure Breed Pug: 5 mth old. He is potty trained. $800 (267)515-1555 PUGS - 8 weeks, fawn, M/F, shots, vet checked, $375/ea. Call 267-357-7651 Rat Terrier Pup, female, tri colored, 8 wks, S/W, reg. $450. 609-364-1903 Rottweiler pups AKC, s/w, vet chkd, fam raised, 1 year hip gaur (717)768-0603 ROTTWEILLER PUPS AKC, S/W, vet checked, ready now, $700. 717-413-5883 SHIH TZU ACA male, 6 months old, black & white, all shots, $250. 717-813-1580 Shih Tzu M&F, wormed, hlth gaur., great w/kids, ready 12/30 $450. 302-897-9779 SHIH TZUS Male, 8 weeks, ACA, shots, black/white. Call 267-797-0579 SHORKIE PUPS: parti-colored, hlth gaur, taking dep $750-$800 610.593.6729 ext 1 Yellow Labrador Retrievers - AKC reg., good quality, vet checked, family raised, M $650, F $750. Call 717-933-4037 Yorkie (ACA) & Yorkie-Chon pups, 2 yr health guar., $225 & up. (610)913-0393 YORKIEPOO PUPPIES - 4 F/ 1 M, shots & wormed, health checked. $475/ea. Ready 1/7/12. Call now to reserve 610-857-5049 YORKIE Pups- family raised, shots, vet checked $450. 717-354-8151 Yorkie pups & hairless yorkie mix, $275$375, taking deposits. 856-563-0351 Yorkie pups: home raised, pure bred, starting $550. Call 215-490-2243 Yorkie Pups, small, AKC, shots, home raised, $950 & up. (856)218-8883 Yorkshire Terrier AKC teacup Yorkie Puppies & AKC Lab Yellow & Black ready to go Call 570-765-0597 or email shummy191@hotmail.com

S. Broad St. 2nd flr 1BR $925 ultra modern, marble bath jacuzzi, w/d, hdwd flrs, central air, deck 215-463-7374

5400 Block of Baltimore 1br $450 2br $675. Close to trans. 215-921-8313

50xx Germantown Ave 2BR $750+utils Call 267-549-4690 5220 Wayne Ave. Studio & 1 BR newly rehab, 215-744-9077, Lic# 507568 Greene or Seymour Sts. 1br units $560$685+util. Great location. 610.287.9857

Airport Area nice 2BR $785+ duplex, a/c, gar, bsmt. Call 856-346-0747

40th & Cambridge 1BR & 2BR $535 renov., 1st, last & sec., Scott 215.222.2435

Overbrook 2BR $700/mo Overbrook section of West Phila. Water included. Newly renovated. 1st month and 1 month security move in. Sec. 8 OK. Call 267-402-0244

Various 1, 2 & 3 BR Apts $595-$895 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

25xx Balwynne Park Rd 2br $900+util newly renov, 1st flr, washer/dryer, a/c, hdwd flrs, garage, storage 215.416.0665

DOMINO LN 1 & 2 BR $745-$875 Renov, prkng, DW, near shopping & dining, mve-in special, 1st mo free. 215-966-9371

259 W. Johnson St 2BR/2BA $1,395 Newly renevated a must see to believe! New kitchens, SS appliances, Washer/Dryer in each unit, central air, 1030 sf, two with cathedral ceilings. Special for limited time $200 off for your year term. 267-335-2751,

Broad & Cheltenham vic. 2br $740+utils 69xx N Broad, 2nd flr, Lrg kitch & LR, Must see! 215-586-9383 or 215-850-1649

Balwynne Park 2 BR $850+ W/D, C/A, W/W, Garage. 484-351-8633

Kensington Ave. 1br $550+electric newly renov, close to trans 267-230-0513

1826 Ridge Ave. Lg. 3BR Section 8 OK Must See. Call 215-885-1700

1412 Princeton Ave. 1BR,1BA $800/mo. All util incl. No smoke/pets. 267.970.9106 4055 Comley St 2 BR $700 completely renovated, hardwood floors, new kitch 646-322-4109/ 215-917-7302

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000

73xx Montour St. 3BR $850 2nd flr, newly remodeled. 302-339-0726 Grant & Ashton 2Br $750+utils close to everything, Call (917)623-5088

Diva Dog Grooming Salon, 1107 Cottman Ave. Affordable Dog & Cat grooming/ sitting, book your holiday appointment now! Starting @ $35. (215)983-0480

10th St small 2br $600+util Walk-in kitchen, avail now. 267-254-6108

Rawnhurst 7414 Alma St 1BR/1BA $635 New kitchen; carpets; incl. heat & Water 215-914-0859

5011 N. Broad St. 1BR Section 8 OK 2nd floor, must see. 215-885-1700

Somerdale 1br & Studio $575-$675 spacious, renov, hdwd flrs 215-904-7414

WARMINSTER Lg 1-2-3 BR Sect. 8 OK $99 MOVE IN ON 1 & 2 BR!! HURRY! Pets & smoking ok. We work with credit problems. Call for Details: 215-443-9500

40xx N. Franklin St. 3br $750/mo 7xx W Luzerne St. 3br $750/mo. newly renov, bkyd & bsmnt, 215.494.8378 West Loudon 3Br/1BA Section 8 OK. Call (215)603-8932

58xx Brush Rd. 3BR, 1BA Newly renov., hdwd flrs, front porch, rear deck, garage, sec. 8 ok. 1-877-371-7368

$300 & UP FOR JUNK CARS CALL 215-722-2111

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

21xx Wakeling 3BR/1BA Sec. 8 approved, W/D, C/A215-605-8747 A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

1338 W. Toronto St., newly renov. rms, $100/wk & up. utils incl. (302)373-0751 24th & Allegheney Ave Effic for rent $500/mo. includes Kit, bedrm. Also, single room for rent $100/wk. 267228-1143. 28xx N 27th St: Furnished rooms, utils included, $100/wk, SSI ok, 267-819-5683 30th & Lehigh: huge room, $120/week, $360 move in. Call 215-983-6144 42xx Frankford, $450/mo 2nd Flr rm, private entr, kit & Ba, clean 215-289-2973 50th & W. Girard Ave rooms, $400/mo. Spacious, cable ready (215)609-6741

homes for rent 58xx Pentridge 3br/1.5ba $800+utils hdwd flrs, 1st, last & sec. $35 credit app req., section 8 ok, (267)228-5952 SW: Elmwood Area 3BR modern, Section 8 approved 215.726.8817

62xx Hazel Ave. 3BR $800+utils. Must see! Call 215-264-3538

24th & Lehigh Area Sect. 8 ok new paint, near transp, (610)337-2244 25xx N Bouvier St 3br/1ba $750+utils large & newly renovated, (215)817-1858 3353 Amber St. 3Br 127 E. Lippicott 3Br Call: (516)361-5005

$750 $650

5xxx N Fairhill 2br/1.5ba TH $800+utils newly renovated, Call (215)519-5959

Chester 6 br/2 full bath Large brick twin $1300/mo. porch, bkyd, driveway, near I-95/476, new roof & carpet, great business investment. Call (610)551-8301 Upper Darby 4br Row $900 3br row $800. Call 484-270-8639

LOCUST LAKE 3BR/2BA $400-$625 Chalet, sleeps 9, minutes to casino & ski resorts. Call 609-722-1264

Chevy Caprice Classic Wagon 1994 $1550 no rust/dents,1 own,rns new215.620.9383 Chevy Cavalier 1997 $1400 blue, 4 dr, clean, runs great 267.324.2590 Dodge Shadow sedan 1993 $1700 91k, insp., excellent, 610-667-4829 Dodge Stratus SE 2004 $2450 4 door, loaded, clean, CD. 215-947-9840 Ford T-Bird LX 1996 $1450 only 73k miles, all power, runs like new inspected, clean & needs nothing. Please Call 215-620-9383 Lincoln TownCar 1988 $2,850/obo must sell, 100k, great cond 267.650.2548 Mitsubishi Galant ES 2000 $1995 auto, loaded, gorgeous, (610)524-8835 Olds Intrigue/Grand Prix 1998 $1450 4 door, loaded, clean, CD. 215-518-8808 Saab 93 2.0T 2003 $4,600 auto, 4 door, loaded, 150K. 267-496-9430 Saturn SL 2 1997 $1995 auto, new insp, gorgeous 610.524.8835 Toyota Celica 2000 $3295 5 speed, sunroof, gorgeous 610-524-8835 VW Beetle GLS 2000 $3,495 5 speed, sunroof, gorgeous 610-524-8835

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47

1xx Widener St. 3br/1ba Newly renovated, sec. 8 ok. 215.669.1304

ANDALUSIA 3br/2ba $2650/mo Unique opportunity to live on 100 acre historic estate, late 19th century ranch style bungalow, short commute to Phila & NY. Please Call (215)639-2078 ANDALUSIA 3br+Loft/2.5ba $2500/mo Delaware Riverfront, Unique opportunity to live on 100 acre historic estate, late 19th century reconverted stable, short commute to Phila. & NY. (215)639-2078

low cost cars & trucks

On Sale Saturday, October 1.

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | D E C E M B E R 2 9 , 2 0 1 1 - J A N U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

A1 Nice, well maintained rms, North Phila. Starting @ $125/wk 610.667.9675 Broad & Olney deluxe furn priv ent $115 wk, 4 free wks, Sec $200. 215-572-8833 Frankford, furnished, near bus & El, $85/wk & up + $295 sec. 215-526-1455 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (215)548-6083 Germantown Rms, $120/wk utils inc, shared kit/ba, $500 move in 215.849.5861 Hunting Park: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, internet. 267-331-5382 Lansdowne Studio $600 utils incl w/d, no smoking. Call 484-469-0753 N. Phila furnished rooms for rent, $100/wk, $300 move-in. (267)549-4690 N. Phila rooms for rent, Single Occupancy, no smoking, $100/wk 267.339.9839 Richmond room, use of kitch, nr transp. Seniors welcome/SSI ok 215-634-1139 SW Philadelphia Room for rent. $250 move in, share kit & bath. 267-251-2749 University City Newly remod rooms, $300/mo. also Efficencies $375. all utilies included. 267-591-6058 West Oaklane furnished room $350$400 mo. includes utilities 215-954-2946

14xx Vankirk St. 3BR $800 mo. Rehab Exit Benchmark Rlty 215-668-3990 MAYFAIR 2br/1ba $795+utils renov. gas ht, w/d hkp, c/a. 215.378.6890 Mayfair 3239 Unruh Ave 3br $820+util mo to mo, call for details, 215-331-7425 MAYFAIR 3BR/2.5BA $1200+ close to shops/tran, n/s, n/p 215.694.4089

classifieds

123 N Avolyn Ave Ventnor 2BR/1BA $1200/ mo plus Utilities w/Laund, No Pets, No Smokers, 856-287-8010

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

apartment marketplace

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D E C E M B E R 2 9 , 2 0 1 1 - J A N U A RY 4 , 2 0 1 2 CALL 215-735-8444

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Building Blocks to Total Fitness 12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. Infokol@aol.com

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

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Flexible hours, will train, no experience necessary, excellent pay, safe/secure environment. Call (609) 707-6075

NEW AT THE EL BAR!!!

KENSINGTON HAPPY MEAL! EVERY DAY UNTIL 7PM 2 ALL BEEF HOT DOGS A PBR POUNDER A BAG OF CHIPS AND A TOY ALL FOR $5

Happy Birthday, Michaela!

SGCDT Invades Philly and DWT Thanks for the Memories! Motorboating Issue FTW

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Collectibles, Antiques, Musical Instruments, Cameras, Electronics Check Cashing – Money Orders- Money Gram Agent. We Buy Gift Cards 645 South Street, Philadelphia. 215-925-7357

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST

All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 25 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.davidjoel.net

SILK CITY

RECLAIMED TIMBER BENCHES ON STEEL LEGS

12.30.11

MASS APPEAL

DJs FREDDY FIGGS & CRU CUT NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

P H I L LY ’ S PA W N S H O P

City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in ‘Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.

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525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

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Guaranteed-quality, body-safe sexuality products, lubricants, male room, sex-ed classes, fetish gear, Aphrodite Gallery SEXPLORATORIUM 620 South 5th Street www.sexploratoriumstore.com

Designed by local architect. Hand made with an elegant emphasis on detail to connections & materiality. Great for dining rooms, kitchens, the foot of the bed or your garden. For inquires & literature, call 215.923.1115

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! IT’S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

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Open every day 4pm - 2am Sat & Sun Brunch 10am - 4pm 5th & Spring Garden www.silkcityphilly.com

GREAT FOOD & BEER AT SURPRISING PRICES. HAPPY HOUR 5-7, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK. Corner of 10th and Watkins. 1712 South 10th Street 215-339-0175

Volpe Cycles Fairmount

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Grand opening Nov.2 $25 Tune up special now through February 25th and Aspen Open M-F 8am -7pm 9-1 sat & sun

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Happy Hour Mondays-Fridays 5-7pm $2.50 Kenzinger Pints & More! 215-634-6430 www.myspace.com/the_el_bar

M Goldman Investigations

When you need to know the truth!!! Confidential, Licensed Investigators Call 24 hours 1-800-505-5423

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