Philadelphia City Paper, March 1st, 2012 by Philadelphia City Paper

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We made this

Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Web Editor/Food Editor Drew Lazor Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Associate Editor/Movies Editor Josh Middleton Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Ryan Carey, Jane Cassady, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Cindy Fuchs, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Cassie Owens, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Robin Rice, Lee Stabert, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Beth Boyle, Chris Brown, James Friel, Michael Gold, Al Harris, Katie Linton, Abigail Minor, Courtney Sexton, Alexandra Weiss, Nina Wilbach Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Editorial Designer Alyssa Grenning Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designer Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Advertising Director Eileen Pursley (ext. 257) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Kevin Gallagher (ext. 250), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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citypaper.net 123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Letters to the Editor editorial@citypaper.net, Listings Fax 215-8751800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright © 2012, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

contents Can’t we all just Hop Along?

Naked City ...................................................................................6 Cover Story ..............................................................................11 A&E................................................................................................20 The Agenda ..............................................................................26 Food & Drink ...........................................................................33 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY JESSICA KOURKOUNIS DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN COVER LOCATION COURTESY OF BARCADE, 1114 FRANKFORD AVE., PHILADELPHIA, PA 19125

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naked

the thebellcurve

city

CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ 0]

Mayor Nutter was reportedly caught on video slapping the butt of a woman he drank and bowled with at North Bowl last summer, but he convinced Fox 29 not to air it. “We… we can’t air it. Destroy the video. Destroy it!” the stunned station manager said after his closed-door meeting with Nutter. “The mayor’s got dirt on all of us. Jerrick and Jennaphr and — dear God, Schratwieser, the file he has on you alone would ruin this station. And you, Sue Serio. I mean, those were people. They were people. And you didn’t give one tiny shit. You just mowed them down. Moms, dads, kids, all of them. It’s horrible. You are horrible.”

[ - 5 ] Three dogs and nine puppies are rescued

from a suspected dogfighting operation in Kensington. Officers described the scene as one-fourth terrifying, three-fourths precious.

[0 ]

The Parking Authority’s new budget forecasts raising $50 million for the city, thanks to the increase in meter rates. Wow, that’s like free money, except we’re still paying it! Thanks, PPA. We forgive you guys for being the worst drivers and parkers in the city whose reckless, unchecked behavior and corrupt bureaucracy are a danger and embarrassment to us all.

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[ - 3 ] A local millionaire is fined $100,000 for steal-

ing a mammoth tusk from an Alaskan wildlife refuge.“That’s right, even thousand-year-old pieces of long-dead wildlife fall under our purview,” says park ranger. “Why, we’ve got a whole preserve set aside just for tusks, where they can run and swim and bask in the sun. ...They mostly bask.”

[

3] Fatima “TNT” Maddox, a Temple grad, becomes the first woman to play for the Harlem Globetrotters in 19 years. “Welcome aboard, foxy mama,” says starting center Cornell “Popcorn Shrimp” Reese. “We’ve got one funky-ass winning streak going.”

[ + 3] Mayor Nutter is trying to lure a 1,000-room hotel to the Convention Center area. By slapping its butt and doing a rendition of “Rapper’s Delight.” “It’s all I know,” he shrugs.

[-10] Jan Berenstain, co-creator of the Berenstain Bears and a Philly native, passes away.

This week’s total: -12 | Last week’s total: -6

EVAN M. LOPEZ

[ development ]

POINT COUNTERPOINT One woman has long controlled zoning in Philly’s current battleground for gentrification politics, Point Breeze. Now, she might be losing her grip. By Samantha Melamed

eveloper Ori Feibush would like to purchase and develop some vacant, city-owned land in Point Breeze — or, more precisely, all the vacant, city-owned land in Point Breeze, more than 100 lots altogether. To do that, though, he needs the support of his district’s City Council member — until recently longtime Councilwoman Anna Verna, now rookie Kenyatta Johnson — and to get that support, he needs the backing of the community. In Point Breeze, that comes through one person: Claudia Sherrod, the executive director of South Philadelphia H.O.M.E.S. Inc. (SPHINC), a nonprofit low-income-housing developer that has long tripled as the neighborhood zoning committee and as the Office of Housing and Community Development-contracted Neighborhood Advisory Committee (NAC) for Point Breeze. “Verna’s office recognized Claudia Sherrod as the single zoning official in Point Breeze, and to do anything you need to go through that group,” says another prolific area developer, John Longacre. “It can allow a very small but vocal minority to hold up an entire project.” In 2012, though, Point Breeze has a new councilman and a new NAC, not to mention at least three potential new zoning committees in various states of gestation. And citywide, there’s a new zoning

code, with draft rules that, for the first time, will dictate what makes for a legitimate zoning committee. Now, the question is: Will democracy finally come to Point Breeze? Not too long ago, no one cared much who controlled zoning in Point Breeze, where abundant vacant properties were not highly sought after. But spurred in particular by Feibush and Longacre — who in 2004 dubbed part of the area Newbold and invested heavily, opening the popular South Philadelphia Tap Room and creating the Newbold Community Development Corp. and Newbold Civic Association — Point Breeze has lately become not only a magnet for development, but also a case study in gentrification politics. Zoning issues there made headlines last year when a few residents with a fear of property-tax inflation and access to a copy machine began running off fliers and calling for a moratorium on three-story developments in the neighborhood. Amazingly, it almost worked. Verna introduced such a bill, tabling it only after a community-wide outcry. Between the pro- and anti-development forces squabbling over what could be Philly’s next hot neighborhood, there’s the pro-lowincome-development voice of Sherrod. She and SPHINC have set the house rules in Point Breeze, including them in letters to developers: no duplexes; no three-story development on two-story blocks (except, maybe, for corner properties); and no bars or restaurants without designated parking lots. Feibush, president of OCF Realty, calls the restrictions purposeful

“A vocal minority can hold up a project.”

>>> continued on page 8

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while, sounds exasperated with the proposal, especially given the budget mess.“Why,” she said, “can I not concentrate on what people in the state need, which is jobs?”

[ a million stories ]

✚ RIGHT TO NO This week, Pennsylvania’s General Assembly is holding hearings on Gov. Tom Corbett’s proposed fiscal 2012 budget, which would gut welfare programs and eliminate the General Assistance funds that help the Commonwealth’s most vulnerable. But when the House reconvenes this month, they’re expected focus on a different topic: House Bill 1077. The so-called Women’s Right to Know Act, which would require ultrasounds before abortions, is the latest in a string of restrictive new rules governing abortion rights. “There’s some cognitive dissonance there,” says Sue Frietsche of the Women’s Law Project. “The General Assembly is focusing like a laser beam on restricting abortion, purportedly out of concern for the little babies, at the same time that they are cutting safety-net programs that women and children need to survive.” Petitions have been circulating with increasing urgency, including one from the House Democratic Caucus that calls the bill “horrific in its requirement that women undergo an invasive, transvaginal ultrasound with the screen aimed toward their face.” Rep. Mike O’Brien (D-Phila.) tells City Paper that even co-sponsors of the bill are backing away from it now. He says the initial memo describing the legislation “was deceptive. … People signed onto this thinking it was something to do with women’s health and not understanding that it was an anti-choice initiative.” O’Brien says he’s spent the past month explaining to colleagues “that any time a vagina is penetrated against the will of a women, that is nothing more or less than governmental rape.” Similar laws in other states have drawn fire, yet Pennsylvania’s bill has only expanded in the amendment process. Frietsche argues it’s even dangerous. Rep. Babette Josephs (D-Phila.), mean-

twominuteswith 55

… an urban-improvement advocate

20 35

✚ SPANKS FOR NOTHING Of the many issues Occupy Philly has concerned itself with, CP didn’t anticipate the newest: the alleged (playful) slapping, by Mayor Michael Nutter, of the buttocks of a female, nonspousal bowling partner at North Bowl last summer. A Facebook page announced an event, “Hey Fox News: Stop being Mayor Nutter’s Tool!” scheduled for March 5 at 3 p.m. outside Fox 29’s Market Street headquarters. The page, created by Occupier Dustin Slaughter, is less concerned with the (alleged) ass or hand in question than with Fox 29’s (allegedly) bowing to pressure by Nutter to bury the “story” — did we put that in quotes? — which included supposed camera-phone footage of said butt-slapping. On Monday, Daily News columnist Dan Gross cited unnamed sources claiming news director Steve Schwaid killed the story after a private meeting with the mayor. “What the mayor does on his own time is his business,” says the Facebook page, “but it should not be the business of Fox News to cave to government pressure.” Fair enough. But what about an alternative possible scenario — in which Schwaid didn’t “cave in” to pressure at all, but instead experienced a revelation: “Private, consensual behavior among adults, even politicians, isn’t news — it’s just gossip,” he could have said, looking deeply into a mirror before asking, wide-eyed, “What have we journalists become?” —Isaiah Thompson

DIANA LIND

³ LIND HAS A bold proposal: Get rid of the three-mile stretch of I-95 between the E VA N M . L O P E Z

Ben Franklin and Walt Whitman bridges. City Paper: What changes would need to be made to eliminate that section of I-95? Diana Lind: You would probably need some sort of beefed-up Columbus Boulevard.

In addition, you would really want to provide a host of other transportation options, particularly for the regional traffic that’s on I-95. At the same time, you’d have to think of ways of moving people out of their cars and into public transportation. CP: What are the benefits of getting rid of I-95 downtown? DL: The one that I’m really pushing — and the reason I’m thinking about removal rath-

er than, say, highway burial — is that I think there’s a lot of economic opportunity that’s locked up in the land that’s being taken up by I-95. I think that there’s an opportunity here to provide parks and other amenities to neighborhoods … and for the city to lure businesses and industry to that particular section, to raise more capital for Philadelphia. CP: What is your game plan for convincing people?

Executive director, Next American City

DL: The game plan is to engage everyone in Philadelphia about this debate, to get the [traffic] data and the information needed to make a case for removing the highway, and to make it a national issue, so that the idea of removing I-95 doesn’t seem as crazy when there’re 10 other major cities trying to do a similar thing. —Theresa Everline

By Isaiah Thompson

PROMISED LAND ³ CUE THE BELLS! Tinsel the Hall! It’s here: Comprehensive Vacant Land Policy Day! It’s almost here, anyway — or so the Hall Monitor has been told. And it wouldn’t be the first time. Practically since Mayor Michael Nutter came into office in 2008, his administration has promised comprehensive reform of the policies governing the sale of city-owned vacant land in Philadelphia. In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s a lot of it — and in case you hadn’t heard, it can be extremely difficult for private citizens to purchase. There’s the maze of different agencies that own all that property, each with its own stockpile, its own rules and its own internal politics. There’s the ongoing conflict over whether and when to sell properties for less than “market value” — and the debate over what that even means in blighted neighborhoods. Then there’s the mysterious force known as “councilmanic prerogative,” an unwritten law under which City Council members more or less have the ability to control sales of city-owned vacant properties in their districts to private entities. Nutter pledged to fix the mess. And then four years went by. Quietly, there have been reforms (like moving Redevelopment Authority records from index cards to a database), but the promise of a comprehensive plan has seemed to be always around the corner — and never quite realized. But the plan is apparently, supposedly, actually imminent: maybe this week, maybe next week. According to a few City Hall sources, the document is essentially waiting for the mayor’s signature. What will it do? Among other things, it will make public a larger list of the city’s inventory than ever before; it will make the Redevelopment Authority the single go-to agency for buyers; and it will allow for more flexibility in pricing, considering uses like urban agriculture and side lots. What it won’t do is sidestep councilmanic prerogative. Instead, Council members will be notified earlier on that a particular parcel is being considered for purchase. Still, Councilwoman María Quiñones-Sánchez, who has co-sponsored a bill that would create a citywide “land bank” overseen in part by members of the public, argues the new policy will “give us flexibility” where the market won’t support “market-rate” sales, putting vacant land into the hands of more people for more uses. Administration members seem excited for the new policies as well. “The timing is right,” says Bridget Collins-Greenwald of the Managing Director’s Office, “to do something positive and constructive.” ✚ Send feedback to isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net

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—Samantha Melamed

hallmonitor

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[ is apparantly, supposedly, actually imminent ]

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✚ Point Counterpoint <<< continued from page 6

“deal killers.” He says Sherrod has repeatedly blocked votes on his applications to purchase city land, because, she told him and others, she hopes to develop the land herself.“We’re in a waiting game here, as we’ve been for years now,” Feibush says. “SPHINC categorically refuses to hold votes on land purchased by the city. It’s frustrating, because they’re competitors for the same properties. That’s a tremendous conflict of interest.” Sherrod wouldn’t comment on zoning practices and denied any conflict, saying that “zoning is zoning and a project is a project.” While most zoning committees find themselves bickering over roof heights, parking spaces and signage, conversations at SPHINC meetings tend to get heated fast. Things came to a boil last year over a meeting for Longacre’s American Sardine Bar, at which the developer says he was physically attacked. At a recent meeting for a Feibush project for 13 housing units with ground-floor retail on Point Breeze Avenue, SPHINC succumbed to demands from Concerned Citizens to postpone the vote. At a packed follow-up meeting, they diverted the conversation into a showdown that the media cast as a battle of class and race. Sherrod briefly admonished, “Go up against me, and you will see the other side of midnight.” Yet chaos reigned, and Feibush and others accusing Concerned Citizens leader Tiffany Green of stealing ballots. In the end, Feibush says, “We had an overwhelming number of ‘yes’ votes; so, [SPHINC] wrote a letter of support [to the city’s Zoning Board of Adjustment] with the proviso that we not build what we proposed. It’s the wild, wild West!” (Subsequently, the ZBA postponed its decision at the request of Councilman Johnson.) Following the melee, Sherrod invited a few neighborhood leaders — including Antoinette Johnson, founder of the greening group Point Breeze Pioneers, and Jonathan King, who runs the website

PointBreezePhilly.org — to join a new SPHINC zoning committee with an eye to transparency. That effort, along with published bylaws, an elected board, the improvement of a direly inadequate fliering program and other reforms, will be necessary in any case under new regulations for Registered Community Organizations (RCOs) being drafted by the Philly City Planning Commission. The Planning Commission hasn’t set limits on the number of RCOs, which means more groups may suddenly find their voices legitimized at the ZBA. Eva Gladstein, who heads the Zoning Code Commission, says the new rules will establish a “standard regarding the role of community groups.” Whether City Council members will actually listen to the chorus of voices is another question. It’s one that will be answered soon enough in Point Breeze, where a scrum of different groups is emerging. Antoinette Johnson says she’s been meeting with King and other civic leaders, including the semi-defunct Point Breeze Avenue Business Association, to start a new civic and zoning group. The neighborhood’s new NAC holder, Diversified Community Services (DCS), is forming its own zoning committee, according to Mitch Little, DCS’ deputy director. Newbold Neighbors, another civic group that has run up against SPHINC in the past, persists in screening developers. And, for whatever it’s worth, Concerned Citizens held its own zoning vote on the Feibush development. “With a new councilperson, we’re hoping that we might have the opportunity to really give the neighborhood a voice,” Johnson says. Her struggle is: “How do we end this tyranny of rule [by Sherrod] in a manner that can engage her, because she has dedicated her entire life to improving this neighborhood?” Little says DCS sees it a little differently. “We’re not looking to be

“How do we end this tyranny of rule?”

[ the naked city ]

the power [in Point Breeze],” he says. “But I don’t think you can create a different environment with the same cast of characters.” The new zoning code would require overlapping groups to hold joint screenings when both areas are affected, something Newbold Neighbors and SPHINC have never done and won’t until things improve, according to Newbold Neighbors zoning chair Hannah Angert. “The first thing they need to do is make their zoning meetings about zoning,” she says. For now, Feibush says he skips Newbold’s meetings, to avoid appearing to venue-shop and because “you have to go through SPHINC anyway.” As for the new zoning code, Feibush and other developers are terrified it will only make matters worse. As of now, community meetings are a courtesy, not a legal requirement, and that’s about to change. Still, King looks at the stirrings within SPHINC as a positive sign. “Political power is a zero-sum game: When you give power away, you lose it,” he says. “For [SPHINC] to bring in these other groups shows that they care more about the future of Point Breeze than their own power base.” (samantha@citypaper.net)

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BY A.D. AMOROSI

PHILLY’S HYPED HIP-HOPPERS ARRIVE WITH A BANG.

clever producing/drumming partner Berensin and the rest is Chiddy Bang history. Anamege, who got a dean’s scholarship, majored in business. “I’m a business junkie,” he laughs. “Stocks and shit.” So did all that business acumen, and knowing the hip-hop market, lead Chiddy Bang to hold off the release of their debut album, Breakfast (Virgin)? Anamege says his band isn’t so manipulative. “It was a long struggle to get the label to see our vision and push the button, but it wasn’t that calculated. Having Breakfast come out now means we get to call it long-awaited,” he laughs. With Breakfast, Beresin and Anamege are releasing “cool and somber shit” like “Talking to Myself” and the fan-pleasing bounce of “Handclaps & Guitars,” songs of love and community that speak to the camaraderie inherent to Nigerian culture. Then there’s the stuff for longtime fans and friends of Chiddy Bang, those Anamege calls his closest constituents, “Team Swelly.” “When you have the Swelly vibe you have the confidence to be you,” says Anamege. “Just like we do. And being part of the Team means having a love of me beyond knowing one song ”

CHIDDY

BANG.

E U ISS

e th

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AFTER several years of false starts and false hopes, Chiddy Bang is finally, truly releasing its debut album. From the fans in the U.S. who bought 600,000 copies of the electrotinged single “Opposite of Adults” to the U.K. kids who made the chipper new “Ray Charles” a top-charting smash — everybody wants more from producerdrummer Noah “Xaphoon Jones” Beresin and rapper Chidera “Chiddy” Anamege, both 21. Apparently that’s not unusual.“People always liked me,” says Anamege with friendly confidence. “Wherever I went I left a trail. People knew me for what I could do and wanted more. You know, where hip-hop was concerned.” Handfuls of mixtapes and freestyle raps were the bread crumbs on that trail. Anamege was always making friends with whomever held the keys to the recording studio. “Getting into the studio, any studio, was my goal, my obsession, wherever I landed.” Anamege and his family bounced around the East Coast. Different states. Different schools. Everything started in Newark, N.J., where he was born the son of immigrant Nigerian parents

who made their homeland’s traditions a big part of the household. “I was raised with that heritage and kept Nigerian customs close, but I also came up a part of hip-hop’s culture,” he says. Starting at age 12, he spent hours on the phone with his friends — rapping and talking about rap. “We continuously fueled our own fires,” he laughs. A seventh-grade project with Martin Luther King as its subject got him into his first studio and led him to his first rap. “It was terrible and, no, I don’t remember how it went,” he laughs. “But after that I looked for any excuse to record.” From there Anamege took his rhymes to a private high school in Western Massachusetts and a public high school in East Stroudsburg, Pa. He tells a funny story about being a 130-pound freshman (“all of 5 feet 5 inches”) battling the latter school’s baddest rapper (“a big guy, 6-3 or something, 350 at least”) who happened to be the senior captain of the football team. “I destroyed the kid and became the king of the castle. That’s the memory that school has of me.” That and a box load of mixtapes that Anemage claims netted him thousands of dollars apiece. “Conquering that Stroudsburg thing meant I needed to find a new place to take my hustle.” He brought the hustle to Drexel U, hooked up with the school’s “industry kids” in the MAD Dragon music industry program, gained access to their studios, met up with his

feature

Rapper Chidera “Chiddy” Anamege and producer-drummer Noah “Xaphoon Jones” Beresin met at Drexel.

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PHOTO BY MIKE PISCITELLI

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PHOTO BY JESSICA KOURKOUNIS

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From left: Mark Quinlan, Frances Quinlan and Tyler Long of Hop Along.

BY JOHN VETTESE

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refrains. Frances’ haunting voice coos in a wavering whisper, then leaps into the stratosphere. The excellent “Bride and Groom,” off the 2009 EP Wretches, stampedes like Neutral Milk Hotel’s “King of Carrot Flowers Part II,” Frances’ singing an echo of Jeff Mangum’s elasticity. “This whole thing has been [about] embracing letting go,” she says. “Understanding you can’t have the control you envisioned.” When she debuted the project (then a onewoman effort called Hop Along, Queen Ansleis) with the 2005 album Freshman Year, she had complete control. Recorded in her parents’ Pennsylvania home after her first year

at the Maryland Institute College of Art, the album blended introspective lyrics and folky guitar with train whistles, hand percussion and childhood toys, a collage of sound influenced by Kimya Dawson and Daniel Johnston. When Get Disowned comes out in late spring, it will also have a collage feel — having been recorded and revisited as the band found its voice, and learned expression through restraint. “I think Bill Callahan is a very expressive singer, and Leonard Cohen,” Frances muses. “And they’re both very — I don’t want to say monotone, but deadpan. But at the same time, I’m a huge Nina Simone fan, and

ALONG.

IF YOU had to boil Hop Along down to one quintessential line, something that sums up the Philly trio’s worldview, it might be the lyric that opens their new single: “How content are the ones with simple demands.” That biting little sentence rides an arc of Big Muff guitar chords and thundering drums. Singer-guitarist Frances Quinlan wrote “Tibetan Pop Stars” while thinking about a close friend who was living an ocean away. It’s a meditation on how life is complicated. And how facing it takes strength. This spring, Hop Along is releasing the song on Get Disowned, the band’s third album release and first with the current lineup of Tyler Long on bass and Quinlan’s brother Mark on drums. Nothing about the album has been simple — over the course of recording it, Mark moved to New York (where his girlfriend attends medical school), and dozens of working songs were abandoned, re-recorded and discarded again. “The longer it took, the more it felt like it had to be the best we could do,” says Long. “After that one-year marker, we couldn’t just be like, ‘Ah, fuck it, it’s done.’ It had to be worth waiting for.” Two-thirds of the band is hanging out in the Victorian West Philadelphia row home where Frances lives. Mark is calling in from his Hell’s Kitchen apartment via Google Voice. He recalls nearly two years of weekly trips down to North Philly’s Headroom studio to work with his bandmates and producer Joe Reinhart. “My nervous girlfriend was sitting at home up here, like, ‘My God, what is this [album] going to sound like? If this is bad, I don’t know what I’m going to do,’” he laughs, as NYPD sirens blare in the background. Hop Along meets in person for rehearsal every Tuesday night, a regimen that has tightened the band into a dynamic live unit that races across gentle folk verses and into raging

HOP

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em h t

E U S S I

A COMPLICATED BAND WITH COMPLICATED DEMANDS.

she’s really expressive. So it’s about learning what’s better for the songs.” Her brother agrees, calling Get Disowned a learning process of deconstructing dense, intricate arrangements down to the essential. “You and I definitely have a similar struggle with the whole less-ismore thing in ourselves,” he says to his sister. It’s no simple journey, for sure

POWER OF CERTIFICATION Temple Universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fox School of Business in partnership with the Project Management Institute (PMI) will offer Project Management Professional certification classes beginning March 20th. PMI Certification is appropriate for managers of all education and skill levels. Classes are held in the evening at Temple Universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Center City campus. Registration is online.

DISCOVER THE POWER OF FOX www.fox.temple.edu/PMI 215-204-8152

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Lauryn Peacock thought of herself as a poet long before she started putting her words to music.

BY M.J. FINE

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shows or dealing with distributors, she was wrapping up her master’s degree at Penn with a thesis on Bob Dylan. That combination of enthusiasm and endurance comes through in her conversation, which is peppered with on-topic allusions to cultural touchstones including, in one twominute spurt, an Emily Dickinson poem, Tommy Boy and a Zen parable. For Peacock, Dickinson’s admonition to “Tell all the Truth but tell it slant” holds particular significance. “Sometimes when I’m writing a song, I’m telling myself the truth slant before I’m even telling anybody else anything.” Not everything is

to be taken literally — “Together Apart” and “Divorce,” for instance, examine life-altering relationships through circumstances both real and imagined — but authenticity is important to Peacock. “If it’s about emotional things, even if it’s about an experience I haven’t had, it’s probably something I’ve felt.” Her lyrics suggest she feels hopeful at heart without being oblivious to the challenges that are sure to come. While “If You’d Stay” offers all the certainty of a conditional statement without conditions, its sunny “ba baba baba ba” refrain serves as a reassurance that things will work out. Peacock makes a

PEACOCK.

LAURYN Peacock’s been a musician as long as she can remember. Encouraged by her piano-teacher mom, she started playing at 3. She sang in choir and played synths in a punk band; she honed her guitar skills in a Wilco class at Chicago’s Old Town School of Folk Music, which led to two memorable shows with Jeff Tweedy. She pulled together a group for a slot at Cornerstone Music Festival, sang backing vocals for a friend in the studio, and toured with indie-rockers mewithoutYou. Despite all that, Peacock never considered music a career, she says during a sprawling chat over Jamaican stew and gluten-free treats. “I think it was Brian McTear who said, ‘The universe is telling you to do your own music.’” The first fruit of her labor is Keep It Simple Let the Sun Come Out, a deeply satisfying mix of moody and hopeful songs that she co-produced with Daniel Smith. Though Peacock plays piano on six tracks and guitar on five, she resists being pigeonholed as a singersongwriter. At shows, she might have a cellist, a full band, or something in between; on the record, she’s backed by most of mewithoutYou, with Denison Witmer and others contributing gentle harmonies. The arrangements range from ’70s-flavored pop to emotionally raw rock (“Truth Is”), while “Ocean Crawler” gives a taste of the more experimental material she hopes to delve into on future projects. Peacock met Smith, the brains behind Danielson, through McTear, Weathervane Music’s busy boss, and they clicked in the studio. But they could have picked a better time to make Keep It Simple, which Peacock released on her own in October. “If you talk to anybody else, tell them not to release a full-length album while they’re in full-time grad school,” she says. When she wasn’t working on music, booking

LAURYN

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em h t

E U S S I

MEETING THE UNIVERSE HALFWAY.

mantra out of her resolve in “January”: “It’s gonna be a good year,” she sings over and over. “It’s setting your face toward that as an intention, while accepting that life is life and a bunch of it’s gonna happen over the next 12 months,” she explains. “And we have control over some of it, and some of it we don’t.” You’ve got to listen to the universe

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Ernest Stuart raised $17 grand on Kickstarter to launch the April’s Center City Jazz Festival.

BY SHAUN BRADY

AMBITIOUS TROMBONIST PLOTS A DOWNTOWN JAZZ COUP.

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W WHEN I sat down for coffee with Ernest Stuart in mid-February, it was still unclear whether this would be a story about the upcoming inaugural Center City Jazz Festival or about a noble but ultimately failed effort to found it. One week before his 30-day Kickstarter campaign was due to expire, the tally was still just a touch over 50 percent and Stuart was already considering how much he could compromise on his vision, or whether he’d have to wait another year or two and fund the festival out of his own pocket. But in the waning hours of Presidents Day the story found its happy ending, the $16,500 target hit with a little more than 48 hours left to go. And that’s when reality set in. “The gravity of the situation hit home immediately,” Stuart said over the phone following the campaign’s successful conclusion. “Now I have to run this festival.” A festival can be a daunting prospect under the best of circumstances, and Philly has had little luck establishing one. With all signs pointing to last year’s eighth annual West Oak Lane Festival being its last, Stuart’s one-day affair will likely

be the city’s sole jazz fest in 2012 — and it’s the brainchild of a single trombonist with something to prove. “This whole thing started with me complaining about the type of jazz people were experiencing in this city,” Stuart says. “We all want to have this Zenlike approach to appreciating jazz, where it’s all such a great, beautiful thing. In reality there’s some pretty shitty jazz groups out there and you can easily have a pretty shitty jazz experience in this city, a city that’s steeped with so much culture. I want to create something that says that your jazz experience doesn’t have to be antiquated and dated and unpleasant. I want to show a more energetic, more intense version of the music.” That goal has been the driving force behind much of Stuart’s recent activity, from his monthly sweatdrenched jam sessions at Time to his touring schedule with Indianinspired funk brass band Red Baraat to his recent self-released debut, a vibrant blend of R&B and jazz called Solitary Walker. He’s currently in the process of producing and releasing a disc by singer Chrissie Loftus that possesses the same qualities. “Music should motivate you towards something,” Stuart offers as his philosophy. “It could be dancing, it could be self-reflection, it could be sex. And I think sometimes that’s missing from the jazz that’s performed regularly in the city, where it’s more about the music in the notes than motivating people

toward an action besides talking over your music. I think we could have a scene full of musicians playing with the type of love and intensity that can shut any conversation up.” Inspired by New York’s Winter Jazzfest, Stuart envisions the first Center City Jazz Festival (ccjazzfest.com) as an intense, single-day marathon on Sat., April 28, with 16 bands playing multiple venues (Chris’ Jazz Café, Time, MilkBoy) over eight hours, with intentions of growing in subsequent years. The artists will largely be locals or New Yorkers who share Stuart’s outlook, including saxophonists Jaleel Shaw and Stacy Dillard, and pianist George Burton. So the festival will happen, but Stuart still has plenty of work to do. Despite his grass-roots success, he has yet to generate much interest from the corporate or sponsorship world outside of a media partnership with Philadelphia magazine. “Most of the people I’m asking for money don’t know who I am,” Stuart admits. “But if you want to see something done, you can sit around and talk about how bad you want to see it done, or you can just do it. I just did it ”

ERNEST

STUART.

i us

E U ISS

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NEW MUSIC FROM THE PEOPLE IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD

SIERRA HURTT STRANGER (CRIATURA)

COMING FROM A successful musical family — her dad is R&B songwriter and producer Phil Hurtt — has given acoustic soul artist Sierra Hurtt the impetus to try things her own way. Stranger, her first fulllength (due out April 10), doesn’t sound a bit like any other record, but takes inspiration from all over the map. Reggae with resonator guitar over layered voices, delicate and sweet but not cloying — then add glockenspiel? Why not? Hurtt makes it work. “Ties That Bind” is the tenderest thing imaginable, a softly aching a cappella track where the despair is palpable. “Juliet’s Got a Gun” is like a cool crime flick, ringing of Kurt Weill’s dark storytelling. —Mary Armstrong

MARC SILVER AND THE STONETHROWERS CALIFORNIA AVENUE

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(SELF-RELEASED)

EVEN BEFORE California Avenue was released, it was a hit. That’s one of the perks of the Kickstarter approach to album-making. Now that we’ve heard it, it’s still a hit. Could this be a uniquely Philly country sound developing? The combo of hot steel guitar and mandolin with lush and layered harmony on the choruses is rare. Marc Silver is not rock, not even Southern rock, but he’s sure not any patented Nashville style, either. Imagine the new acoustic kids coming out of Boston sitting in with a honky-tonk band playing for tips on Broadway in Music City. California Avenue’s covers of the Band and George Jones are perfect for singing. And if the intonation’s a little off here and there, who cares? That’s the charm of a live-show sound. —Mary Armstrong Fri., March 9, 9 p.m., $10, with Brad Hinton Band and Foxhound, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

MANY ARMS MANY ARMS (TZADIK)

NICK MILLEVOI IS Philadelphia’s shred king of the six-string. Though this potent and dexterous improvisational guitarist has executed Hassidic punk (in Electric Simcha), delicate 12-string soundscapes (as a solo artist) and clammy avant-garde jazz (in Archer Spade), Millevoi makes his most insurgent music with Many Arms. Electric bassist John DeBlase, drummer Ricardo Lagomasino and Millevoi prove to be a rushing power trio not unlike Cream: gruffly epic and eerily informed by jazzed psychedelia. The 13-minute-plus “Rising Artifacts in a Five-Point Field”

shows off the threesome’s greasy grandeur at its finest. In the soft hands of guitarist and producer Eric Carbonara, Many Arms goes beyond the usual demands of crusty improvjazz-punk to find something bad and beautiful on its Tzadik debut.

instrument. Bellenoit is not just another stinging guitar slinger with a pretty voice, though it is quite pretty. It’s also soft and almost innocent, an ideal conveyance for those here-we-goagain heartbreak lyrics. —Mary Armstrong

—A.D. Amorosi

ROSS BELLENOIT HOME SONGS VOL. 1 (SELF-RELEASED)

THIS IS THE first of three planned collections, each a half-dozen songs, all recorded on a computer in the singer-songwriter’s South Philly home. (Bellenoit credits Apple for everything, even dedicating this volume to the late Steve Jobs.) Every sound was laid down over a period of two-and-a-half years — and sounds there are aplenty. There’s so much pop-style layering that at times his voice is just another

CHEERS ELEPHANT

LIKE WIND BLOWS FIRE (SELF-RELEASED)

IF YOU HAVEN’T been paying attention to this Philly four-piece in recent days, here’s a primer. There’s still a psych-rock thing, but it’s toned down in favor of something cleaner and catchier. If there ever was a “rootsy” element, it’s receded for a more classic, cavalier attitude. Now everything’s hot and casual. In short, Cheers Elephant has found its swagger. Like Wind Blows Fire is a confident blend of melodious converted garage rock, poppy

choruses, lush backing vocals and lyrics that would seem unsettlingly out of place if frontman Derek Krzywicki didn’t have a voice like a 500-thread-count comforter. (You know, soft and smooth, but not, like, decadently so.) From the song “Falling Out”: “The room is completely naked and my teeth are falling out./ Everyone is getting arrested./ You’re the one that hears me shout” — it’s an effed-up scene that almost sounds pretty coming from him. And it’s followed by a brazen, power-ballad-ish guitar solo. Things get a little nuts when some Muppety chirps and elephantine trumpets come barging in on the peppy “Thought and Commonsense.” The Pointer Sisters get a sly shout-out on the hard-charging “Get YA!” while the title track is a charmingly complicated powder keg and the hardest edge on the album. This band just keeps getting better. —Patrick Rapa Fri., March 2, 8 p.m., $15, with the Extraordinaires, Dangerous Ponies and DRGN KING, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

LOCAL ALBUM

REVIEWS.

E U S S I

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Mandolins • Sitars • Ouds • Charangos Ukes • Dulcimers • Kalimbas • Didgeridoos Bodrans • Button Accordians • Irish Whistles Koto • Native Flutes • Harps • Djembes Tabla • Dumbeks • Talking Drums Steel Drums • Spanish Guitars Andean Instruments • Cajun Washboards Gold Tone Banjos • Surdos • Cuicas Pandeiros • Berimbau

UKULELES IN STOCK!

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ SINCE THIS IS the Music Issue,let’s lead with

our strengths. Prominent Philly player Chris “Pow Pow” Powell has arms like two Cliff Lees and an untouchable batting average with Need New Body, Endless Joy, Icy Demons and Man Man. (Foodie note: He helped Brian Dwyer get his Pizza Brain museum started when the two presented 2010’s “Give Pizza Chance” exhibition.) With Man Man on break (“We’re starting a record in April,” says Powell), he’s getting itchy. He’ll scratch that scab at the Philadelphia Museum of Art March 2 when he debuts ADVENTUREDRUM, a multi-drum-kit idea. “Megawords fellas offered me the PMA date [Megawords is curating events at the museum] and I figured this’d be a perfect time to try it.” Powell famously played with the Boredoms in 2007 in a project featuring dozens of different drummers; this Friday night, Powell’s 15-piece group will do a “stripped-down” version of what he plans to do outdoors this summer. “It’s a community-based project to bring together creative people — artists, dancers, musicians — who may not have met each other before.” Sounds ticklish. ³ When the triple-A radio Non-Com convention hits World Café Live this spring, rumor has that it’ll be a doozy. One, it won’t be at WCL Delaware. (Sorry, nobody likes Delaware except super PACs. Not even Delaware.) Two, it’ll have a slate of some of the finest Caucasian musicians in the business, like Willie Nelson, Rufus Wainwright and the exceedingly white John Mayer. Honorary Caucasoid Norah Jones will play as well, we hear. ³ Cheers to Cheers Elephant, Philly’s soft-prog-psych kings, for their third album, Like Wind Blows Fire.They’ll play it loose and fast at a release show March 2 at World Café Live with DRGN KING,Extraordinaires and Dangerous Ponies. More info on p. 18. ³ Pierogies don’t have melody or rhythm, but they are music to my mouth and worth drumming up. Pierogi Week at the Green Rock Tavern on E. Lehigh wraps up March 4. Try the symphony of potato, cheese and sauerkraut that is the onepound-plus Pierogi Hoagie. ³ Thom Nickels, Philly journo and novelist (Spore), is part of the just-started Thom & Todd Show webcast on the Mallstars.com channel. If Mulholland Drive was a talk show, it’d be T&T. ³ March 17 looks like the night American Idol 2011 contestant Erika Schiff will celebrate the birthday of her costumedesigner/porn-star pal Gunner with a party at Voyeur.Guest performers include Kevin Aviance (“Cunty”), the Power Infiniti/Kitty Meow team (P.A.K.) and Sherry Vine. The whole shebang is meant to promote healthy sex-lifestyle choices; the Mazzoni Center is looking to host HIV testing on site. ³ More ice at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

SYSTEM CRASH: This manipulated photo by Tim Bieniosek is one of many images, videos and animations on USB flash drives hidden around Philadelphia for Little Berlin’s “FLASH FL00D.”

firstfridayfocus By Holly Otterbein

³ LITTLE BERLIN “FLASH FL00D” doesn’t look like an exhibit. There is no artwork hanging on the walls of Little Berlin, nor any installations placed in the gallery. Instead, visitors are given a map dotted with the locations of USB flash drives hidden in phone booths, staircases and other areas throughout the city, from which viewers can download photographs, moving GIFs and videos. Works range from Mark Price’s spazzy, animated black-and-white collage to Tim Bieniosek’s manipulated photograph exploring guns and architecture (pictured). The show is thrilling, in part, because of its inherent danger. “There is a risk in discovering this exhibition,” co-curator Kelani Nichole explains, “as the drives, once installed, are open to the whims of the public.” If you’re wondering how such an exhibit has a First Friday reception, participating artists will project some of their works from the USB drives onto the walls at the opening — a good way for the risk-averse to get in on the fun. Through March 24, opening Fri., March 2, 6 p.m., free, 2430 Coral St., littleberlin.org.

³ PENNSYLVANIA ACADEMY OF THE FINE ARTS Everything is fair game to provocateur Cynthia Norton — even the historical paintings in PAFA’s collection. The feminist artist, who hails from Kentucky, takes on painters Winslow Homer and

William Merritt Chase in a piece of her own. In one painting, she portrays herself in a beaming red dress and black gloves — quite brazen compared to her inspiration, Chase’s subdued wife in “Portrait of Mrs. C,” whom Chase once called “the perfect type of American womanhood.” Curator Julien Robson says that Norton doesn’t necessarily mean any disrespect. “She is not trying to satirize these histories, but, instead, to critically — and humorously — engage with them,” he explains in a statement. Other highlights: a large dulcimer Norton created out of an old piece of furniture and a video exploring an 1841 painting by Daniel Huntington. Through May 27, opening Fri., March 2, 5:30 p.m., free, 118 N. Broad St., 215972-7600, pafa.org.

There is a risk in this exhibition.

³ AND THEN THERE’S …

This month, two shows remind viewers how elegant and unique works on paper can be: The first, at LGTripp Gallery, features 11 artists, each approaching the medium quite differently. For instance, Fuentes Ferrin’s pen-on-paper piece is a magical scene that seems like it came from a child’s mind, while Plamen Veltchev’s inkon-paper work is a graphic exploration of entrapment. Through March 31, opening Fri., March 2, 6 p.m., free, 47 N. Second St., 215923-3110, lgtrippgallery.com. … The other paper-centric show, at Cerulean Arts, features drawings by Michael Rossman and pastels by Jill Rupinski. Rossman is a master of line and movement, while Rupinski creates dramatic landscapes. Through March 31, opening reception Fri., March 2, 5 p.m., free, 1355 Ridge Ave., 267-5148647, ceruleanarts.com. (editorial@citypaper.net)

the naked city | feature

[ bright, bleepy, brittle, bubbly ] ³ comedy

Probably wisely, Brooklyn producer Francis Harris set aside the decidedly silly “Adultnapper” moniker in favor of his birth name for the self-consciously mature Leland (Scissor and Thread) — although, funnily, it would actually be excellent music for adults to nap to. While most of the album is rooted in deep, downtempo minimalist house — think Pantha du Prince at his most placid and somber — the grooves take a back seat to live instrumentation (cello, loosely jazzy vocals and Jon Hassell-ish trumpet) that suffuse Harris’ patient explorations with an elegant, pensive melancholy.

John Mulaney, standup comic and co-

creator of SNL’s “Stefon” bits (the ones Bill Hader can’t do with a straight face), wins with the charm offensive on his new New in Town (Comedy Central) — he’s just so darn boyish and friendly and relatable. And nobody sees it coming when the guy with the Bueller-ish smirk and neurotic/curmudgeonly mannerisms takes dark detours into alcoholism, race, poop and SVU.

—K. Ross Hoffman

—Patrick Rapa

³ rock/pop ³ electronic Nearly two decades into an improbable, idiosyncratic career, Mouse on Mars refuses to sit still. Parastrophics (Monkeytown), the German duo’s first outing in six years, marks the shortest attention span yet, a gleefully hyper-fragmented spin on the warped pop-’n’-splutter of 2004’s Radical Connector. If there’s anything holding together this disorienting (though rarely disagreeable) mishmash of wibbly video-game fever dreams, Martian robot hip-hop and demento disko, it’s the album’s consistent sound — bright, bleepy and brittle — and its infectiously odd, bubbly humor. —K. Ross Hoffman

flickpick

Love at the Bottom of the Sea (Merge) marks The Magnetic Fields’ triumphant return to synthesizers. Nothing against their acoustic work, but in the same way that the right shirt brings out the blue in one’s eyes, bleating, bleeping synthesized music makes Stephin Merritt’s dark, dry humor so much more striking. The songs are short, tight and, even at their bleakest (see “I’ve Run Away to Join the Fairies”), a whole lot of fun. The MFs play Union Transfer on Wednesday (March 7, utphilly.com). —Brian Howard

[ movie review ]

TIM AND ERIC’S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE

If you don’t like it, your disgust will delight those who do.

JUVENILE SWIM: Eric Wareheim (left) and Tim Heidecker, alums of the Philly comedy scene, would like you to bathe in shit with them.

Those two make Matt and Kim sound like Norwegian black metal. Man:Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup. Waiter:Yes, I know — I put it there. I did it because on your way in, you dropped your iPod and I picked it up, and, well, I just can’t believe the shit that’s on there. Adele? Are you fuckin’ kidding me? Look: I’m sorry you had a bad breakup in 10th grade, but listening to the official Helen Reddy of the 21st century isn’t going to make things any better. She & Him? Really? She and fuckin’ Him? For shit’s sake, those two make Matt and Kim sound like Norwegian black metal. But the main reason I put that fly, and perhaps a small amount of urine, in your soup is that there appears to be not single track from Zola Jesus’ latest CD, Conatus — which, although I am merely a waiter, I feel compelled to point out was released on Sacred Bones Records — on your iPod. Perhaps you were unaware that Zola Jesus isn’t a person, but a project spearheaded by Wisconsinborn/Russia-descended singer-songwriter Nika Danilova. Perhaps you were also unaware that the songs on Conatus are a hypnotic blend of Ms. Danilova’s amazing, ethereal vocals and the sort of stripped-down synth lines and sparse rhythms that would feel at home on a vintage Psychic TV track. Or perhaps you’re just a douche with a dead fly and some piss in his soup. Verdict: You heard the waiter. Buy Conatus,or plan on eating all your meals at home. (r_anonymous@citypaper.net)

✚ Zola Jesus

Conatus (SACRED BONES)

feature-length gross-out to throw up your hands and storm out angry, depressed and/or nauseated. The Temple-film-grads-cum-Adult-Swim-stars practically dare you to with every silly, squishy, maddening, unapologetically indulgent non sequitur. But if you’re still having fun after seeing Eric sloshing in a bathtub filled with fresh diarrhea, well, congratulations: You’re home. Find the others. Just about every bodily liquid and its corresponding sound effect is given screen time. So are a lot of the tics familiar to fans of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: cringeable minor roles filled by odd-looking old people, repetitious dialogue, glitchy editing tricks, sudden earnestness, sudden shirtlessness, computer graphics from bygone times, infomercial-ish asides, uncomfortable yelling and mugging and hugging and breathing all over each other. If you don’t like that stuff, your disgust will delight those who do. This movie needs to exist, serving the same sociological purpose as 2 Girls 1 Cup, a post-mod— Oh right, the plot. How could I forget the plot? Cheeseball filmmakers Tim and Eric blow a billion dollars of Robert Loggia’s money on a crappy short starring a Johnny Depp impersonator, then try to earn it back by taking over a run-down mall full of dumb stores, weirdos, hobos and one shitty-looking wolf. Along the way, they have run-ins with Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Zach Galifianakis and Will Forte, each of whom seems to have a different idea of what kind of movie this is. As a wet-coughing manchild with his belly hanging out, Reilly might be most correct. —Patrick Rapa

WISCONSIN!

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[ C+ ] There are plenty of good reasons in Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim’s first

aidorinvade Rodney Anonymous vs. the world

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Celebrate Life!

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ADULT AND PEDIATRIC HOSPICE CARE

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A CULT CLASSIC IN THE MAKING

“

- The Onion

” .

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“BREATHTAKINGLY

ABSURD.

FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

IF ANYONE WALKED OUT OF LAST NIGHT’S SCREENING, IT WAS TO KEEP FROM PEEING THEMSELVES” . – Christopher Robbins, The Gothamist

IM EHE WAR C I ER R & CKE EIDE H TIM

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DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX|B Lou Dobbs’ delicate sensibilities be damned: The possessive in the title of Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax is well-earned — with intention, if not execution. Theodor Geisel would no doubt approve of the animated film’s ecological finger-wagging; he might even push for a more caustic approach, given that his lament remains sadly relevant four decades after it was first published. Seuss’ slim volume is given (and largely taken over by) a framing story in the plastic city of Thneedville, lorded over by a diminutive tycoon whose empire was founded on the sale of bottled air. Young Ted (Zac Efron) sneaks out into the decimated domain of the Once-ler (Ed Helms), who tells the original story — of a young entrepreneur who arrives in a natural paradise of small furry animals and brightly-tufted truffula trees, then overreaches and destroys it — in flashback. Seuss’ vaunted wordplay is mostly jettisoned (even from the wretched musical numbers, which could have used it), replaced by 3D padding with chases through rapids and down ski slopes, and the woodland critters are cutened up to an aggravating extent. Still, Danny DeVito is perhaps inevitably well-cast as the titular guardian of the forest, less angry than disappointed at the destruction around him. The filmmakers are as unafraid as Seuss was of belaboring their points, placing the burden of the Lorax’s final, one-word message on viewers just as the author did on his young readers. —Shaun Brady (UA 69th St., UA Grant)

IN DARKNESS|C One of the saddest trends in mainstream filmmaking today is how well-intentioned movies turn history’s most horrific events into inspirational platitudes. The civil-rights move-

ment thus becomes fodder for liberal-guilt tear-jerkers like The Help, and, to a much greater extent, the Holocaust has “inspired” countless dingy, gray paeans to human struggle. Agnieszka Holland’s Oscar-nominated contribution to that desaturated genre shifts the familiar Anne Frank model down a few stories to a small group of threatened Jews huddled in the city’s sewers. The film is based on the true story of Leopold Socha (Robert Wieckiewicz), a Polish sewer worker who sees smuggling a small group of human beings into his subterranean domain as little different than his dealings on the black market. Naturally, his motivations evolve into something more noble, a character arc familiar from decades of antiheroes but lacking the romance of a wounded Bogart. As for “his Jews,” they’re a well-worn gaggle of types, from the rich man to the lothario to the frightened mother. Holland leans hard on the dinginess of the group’s surroundings to sustain her oppressive mood, but never conjures a sense of place sufficient to situate the refugees in reference to their pursuers. —S.B. (Ritz at the Bourse)

PROJECT X|BDude! Did you check out Thomas’ (Thomas Mann) epic birthday party? It was out of control, and this weird Goth guy Dax (Dax Flame) recorded it all on his DV. Costa (Oliver Cooper), that douchebag, invited everyone, and, like, 1,500 people showed up. (More, if you count the riot cops trying to disperse the crowd.) There were guys skateboarding on the roof, topless hotties in the pool and a midget punching guys in the crotch. It was insane. Project X is the wildest film about wrecking the house while the parents are away since Risky Business, with an angry drug dealer substituting for Guido the killer pimp. If watching teenagers drinking, taking drugs and having sex is enjoyable, it’s, like, awesome. If it’s not, the movie gets tedious — the

DOLPHIN BOY|A-

✚ REPERTORY FILM AMBLER THEATER 108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, 215345-7855, amblertheater.org. The Adventures of Milo and Otis (1986, Japan, 76 min.): A kitten and a pug puppy romp through the wilderness. (Who knew they had puppies in Japan?) Sat., March 3, 11 a.m., $4.

CHESTNUT HILL FILM GROUP Chestnut Hill Branch of the Free Library, 8711 Germantown Ave., 215-248-0977, armcinema25.com. Keeper of the Flame (1942, U.S., 100 min.): Journalist Spencer Tracy investigates the death of a famous millionaire against the wishes of his guarded widow (Katharine Hepburn). Tue., March 6, 7:30 p.m., free.

THE BALCONY AT THE TROCADERO 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. Kill List (2011, U.K., 75 min.): An ex-soldier returns to his life as a hit man in this arthouse horror flick. Mon., March 5, 8 p.m., $3.

BRISTOL RIVERSIDE THEATRE 120 Radcliffe St., Bristol, 215-785-

COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. Night of the Creeps (1986, U.S., 88 min.): Frat boys fight zombies, when not wooing charming co-eds. Fri. March 2, 9:45 p.m., $8. The Ipcress File (1965, U.K., 109 min.): Michael Caine stars as a

20 E. State St., Doylestown, 215-3456789, countytheater.org. Batman (1966, U.S., 105 min.): Holy campy homoeroticism, Batman! Sat., March 3, 11 a.m., $4.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St., 267-765-9700, ihousephilly.org. De cierta manera (1978, Cuba, 78 min.): Director Sara Gómez uses the romance between a bus driver and a schoolteacher to explore prejudices in post-revolution Havana. Thu., March 1, 7 p.m., free. Music with Roots in the Aether: Gordon Mumma (1983, U.S., 116

min.): Experimental composer Gordon Mumma performs and discusses his work. Fri., March 2, 7 p.m., $9. !Women Art Revolution (2010, U.S., 85 min.): This doc chronicles the origins and development of the feminist art movement. Wed., March 7, 7 p.m., $9.

MEDIUM RARE CINEMA Broad Street Ministry, 315 S. Broad St., regrettablesincerity.com. Burn! (1969, Italy, 132 min.): Marlon Brando plays a British agent who incites a slave revolt in the Caribbean in order to profit off the aftermath. Sat., March 3, 6 p.m., $5.

delphiacfa.org. The Architecture of Doom (1989, Sweden, 119 min.):

Director Peter Cohen scrutinizes Hitler’s efforts to create a Nazi aesthetic. Mon., March 5, 6:30 p.m., $5.

TEMPLE CINEMATHEQUE Annenberg Hall, 2020 N. 13th St., 215-204-8476, blog.library.temple. edu/fma. Ugetsu (1953, Japan, 94 min.): Two brothers’ agrarian lives are upended when armies sweep through their rural village. Fri., March 2, 3 p.m., free.

UNKNOWN JAPAN The Bellevue, 200 S. Broad St., 7th Floor, unknown-japan.com. Crazy Thunder Road (1980, Japan, 95 min.): Two biker gangs duel in this violent sci-fi import. Wed., March 7, 7 p.m., free.

WOODEN SHOE BOOKS 508 S. Fifth St., 215-413-0999, woodenshoebooks.com. Children of Men (2006, U.S./U.K., 105 min.): In a nearfuture dystopia where no human baby’s been born in decades, Clive Owen must help an unexpectedly pregnant woman get to safe haven. Sun., March 4, 7 p.m., free.

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citypaper.net Mercies aims to create “music that’s not bound by lyrics,” according to drummer Sammy

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Chick’s Social Kitchen + Bar | Wanting to get away from the wine-bar vibe and back to an Italianfood focus, Jim Piano has reconceptualized Chick’s into Chick’s Social, a redo of the long-running Bella Vista bar. (To give you an idea of how long the space has been around and pouring booze via various owners: Chick’s has liquor license No. 376!) Piano’s cooking a taut selection of cicchetti, antipasti, panini, housemade pasta and entrées. For professional belt-looseners, try the timpano, a stuffed-dough specialty made famous by the movie Big Night, as a group tasting option. 614 S. Seventh St., 215625-3700, chickssocial.com.

Reserve | This swank steakhouse, which shares a building with City Paper,grand-opened last weekend. Staged in the soaring space best remembered as Rococo, Reserve focuses on locally raised cuts (10-ounce New York strip, 20-ounce porterhouse) dressed up in complementary styles (“Chesapeake Bay,” with crab meat). The bar program is big on brown liquors, and they’re also offering manly diversions like a cigar lounge on the second floor. 123 Chestnut St., 215-964-6262, reservephilly.com.

[ review ]

STREET SENSE Former Rouge chef Matt Zagorski takes a solo ride down Hickory Lane. By Adam Erace HICKORY LANE | 2025 Fairmount Ave., 215-769-2420, hickorylanebi-

stro.com. Breakfast and lunch served Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-2:30 p.m.; dinner served nightly, 4:30-10:30 p.m.; brunch served Sat.-Sun., 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Appetizers, $6-$15; entrées, $14-$29; dessert, $7-$9.

he shadow of the Rouge burger looms tall. So tall that for the six years chef Matt Zagorski spent finessing the menu at the bijoux clubhouse of the Rittenhouse elite, you were likelier to hear and read more about the signature sandwich than the man making it. More on: I’m sure Zagorski, like any serious, talented chef, would like to be known for more than burgers. So what did he do, after leaving Rouge in 2010, when it was time to debut Hickory Lane, a cozy, bronze-andburlap BYOB in the shadow of Eastern State Penitentiary? He put a burger on the menu. “It fit our American-bistro concept, and it’s become a staple of mine even though I never necessarily wanted it to be,” explains Zagorski, who’s partnered with manager Jack Henderson on the project. “Before [Hickory Lane] even opened, there were posts saying that the burger was our signature item.” The pre-opening buzz may have proved prophetic. Hickory’s

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rich 10-ouncer starts with the “Exclusive MPZ Burger Grind.” The monogram is an autograph writ in beef — Zagorski’s middle name is Phillip — and a personal brand on this blend of brisket, filet tips and fat-rippled deckle. This is not the blend used for Rouge’s burger or any of its offspring at the associated 500 Degrees. This is better, and best when cooked to Zagorski’s preferred temperature. “Mediumrare,” our server responded without pause when I asked how the kitchen likes to cook the meat. “Definitely medium-rare.” Shaped into corpulent patties, seared in cast-iron and draped with reserve Cabot cheddar, the beef rode to the table on a shiny challah roll. My guest and I were splitting the burger, and in a fit of Phyllis-Stein-Novack-ness, asked to have it halved, if only for mess-prevention purposes. (Though a jeans-and-T-shirt BYOB in theory, Hickory Lane’s good looks, poised service and wellheeled clientele project the persona of MORE FOOD AND somewhere fancier, where sucking beefy DRINK COVERAGE juices from one’s fingers might be frowned AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / upon.) The kitchen plated the halves sepaM E A LT I C K E T. rately, each with its own cache of slender, salt-and-peppery fries, a thoughtful touch. Clearly well rested before its bisection, the dusk-pink core of the patty glistened, a telltale prophecy of the flood of meaty nectar my first bite unleashed. The beef exploded with flavor, full-frontal umami I could taste in my nose. Cool, quenching Bibb lettuce (the best choice for a burger, in my opinion) and sliced tomato derailed an imminent meat delirium, a refreshing intermezzo in each bite, while a lick of piquant garlic aioli also had a tempering effect on the challah’s eggy sweetness. The half-burger disappeared in six or so bites, >>> continued on page 34

Got A Tip? Please send restaurant news to drew.lazor@ citypaper.net or call 215-735-8444, ext. 218.

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Alla Spina | Marc Vetri’s fourth Philly restaurant, joining Vetri, Osteria and Amis, is a bar done Italianostyle. Alla Spina, or “from the tap,” pours 20 craft drafts (many from The Boot) and offers an unorthodox pub-inspired menu. Sharing real estate with Stephen Starr’s Route 6 and Joe Volpe’s Vie, the polished industrial space, tricked out with graffiti from local tagger Distort, features distinct lounge and bar areas, plus a cool elevated perch atop the walk-in beer fridge. Look for downmarket-by-Vetristandards eats like pig tails with fennel agrodolce, poutine with guinea hen Bolognese, a swordfish BLT and mortadella hot dogs. 1410 Mount Vernon St., 215-600-0017, allaspinaphilly.com.

THERE’S THE BEEF: Hickory Lane’s serious burger features a meat blend exclusive to chef/ owner Matt Zagorski.

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Eastern Mediterranean Cuisine. BYOB Kabobs â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Fish of the day Baba Ganoush â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Falafel - Hummus 3Ob W\ BOYS ]cb 2SZWdS`g 1ObS`W\U 0]]YW\U ^O`bWSa ZO`US O\R a[OZZ ;OX]` 1`SRWb 1O`Ra /QQS^bSR

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â&#x153;&#x161; Street Sense <<< continued from page 33

Is Zagorski a master technician or a riskaverse chef? and I wound up sucking beef juices off my fingers anyway. Apologies to Dr. and Mrs. Westinghouse at Table 12. If the burger is my favorite item at Hickory Lane, my second favorite is just as Rouge-like: onion soup. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I put the onions on at nine this morning,â&#x20AC;? Zagorski told me when we spoke on the phone one Sunday at noon, â&#x20AC;&#x153;and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re just about ready for the garlic and butter.â&#x20AC;? The alliums would go on to cook an additional three to four hours that day, sweeter every minute, eventually combined with veal stock, hardy herbs and white wine before being portioned, brioche-topped, gratinĂŠed with GruyĂ¨re and provolone and presented before a dining room full of Sunday supper diners. I hung up the phone wishing I was one of them. The burger and the onion soup, birds of a bistro feather. What does it say about Hickory Lane that both are praiseworthy? That Zagorski is a master technician who recognizes what his customers want? Or that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s riskaverse and content to operate within his comfort zone? You could make the case either way. On the one hand, I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t had a finer burger in a long time, and the balanced soup is at the level of Parcâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, my gold standard. On the other hand, Hickory Laneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s menu can feel a little square. Nothing wrong with tuna tartare and Roquefortcreamed ribeye, but theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re hardly the most memorable crayons in the box, and less than youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d expect from a chef of Zagorskiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s skill. I prefer when he reaches, stretching and taking advantage of the malleable definition of â&#x20AC;&#x153;American bistro.â&#x20AC;? Even if the results arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always all the way there, like the out-of-whack ratio of giant caraway crouton to exquisite foie gras in one appetizer, the efforts are memorable â&#x20AC;&#x201D; especially when an Amarena cherry sauerkraut as personable as this plateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is involved. Elegant, sweetand-savory tomato-anise jam mentally bookmarked a beet carpaccio Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d have forgotten the next morning. (Well, the jam and the fact that the dish featured four slices of humble root for $13.) The current menu features a beef (not beet) carpaccio at the same price, and I had a suave risotto with goat cheese, chive confetti and dove-gray oyster mushrooms for a buck less. Clever-sounding calamari Bolognese was the only flat-out failure, doomed by tough squid and a bland, cream-thinned sauce that tasted as if it had cooked all of 15 minutes. Zagorski put dairy to far better use during dessert, in both a caramel-y â&#x20AC;&#x153;milk jamâ&#x20AC;? for cinnamonscented brioche/challah bread pudding and an ethereal crĂ¨me fraĂŽche cheesecake with sugared Granny Smith apples and port gastrique. I loved the tang in the subtly sweet cake, which could almost qualify for Hickory Laneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s breakfast or brunch menu. Aside from a short break between lunch and dinner, Zagorski serves all day, seven days a week. All day? â&#x20AC;&#x153;All day,â&#x20AC;? he replies. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bistro, baby!â&#x20AC;? Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll take a burger with my coffee. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

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BigBiteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Philly Chili Bowl Sat., March 3, 5:30 p.m.,

$5 Âł The BigBite collective is presenting its third annual Philly Chili Bowl at the Fleisher Art Memorial. Spectators will sample 20 different chilis, sip on Narragansett beer and cast a vote in the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Choiceâ&#x20AC;? category. Entrants will be judged by a panel featuring CPâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Drew Lazor, Di Brunoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Emilio Mignucci, Joe Bernstein of the Peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Republic food cart, Lily Cope of Cook and chef Kevin Sbraga. Proceeds and extra chili will benefit Project H.O.M.E. Fleisher Art Memorial, 719 Catharine St., 215-669-9663, bigbiteblog. wordpress.com. Philly Craft Beer Festival Sat., March 3, 12:30-5 p.m., $75 for VIP tickets ($10 for designated drivers) Âł The Committee to Benefit the Children is hosting the sixth annual Craft Beer Festival at the Navy Yard this year â&#x20AC;&#x201D; attendees will be able to taste more than 100 beers from 50-plus international breweries. General admission is sold out, but VIP is still available; those tix get you access to eight exclusive beers, including Clown Shoes Hoppy Feet 1.5 and Ballast Point Sea Monster. Navy Yard Naval Airstrip, 1413 Langley Ave., 631-9407290, phillycraftbeerfest.com. Allagash Beer Dinner at Chifa Thu., March 1, 7 p.m.,

$65 Âł Jose Garcesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Peruvian restaurant is hosting a meal with Allagash. Chef Natalie Maronski has created a menu that complements the Portland, Maine-based breweryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s offerings â&#x20AC;&#x201D; dishes include a lobster roll bao bun and duck confit rice dumpling paired with Saison Mihm and braised lamb shank paired with Allagash Black. Guests will also get to sip Mattina Rossa, an unreleased sour. Reservations required. Chifa, 707 Chestnut St., 215-925-5555, chifarestaurant.com. Random Tea Roomâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Four-Year Anniversary Thu.,

March 1, 7-10 p.m., pay as you go Âł In honor of Random Tea Roomâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s four years of existence, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re throwing a party with food samples from their soon-to-be-expanded menu and tea-infused cocktails. (The free bites and drinks are a surprise until the shindig.) Random will also have its backyard open with a bonfire for folks to warm up. The regular tea menu will be available for purchase during the party, too. Random Tea Room, 713 N. Fourth St., 267-639-2442, therandomtearoom.com. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Alexandra Weiss

A MALL EXPERIENCE

SKY BLUE GHIA To the lady driving the light blue VW Karmann Ghia down 8th Street today - thank you for making my day! My apologies for making the narrow road even more narrow, but I was just admiring the curves of your car! I love seeing other KG lovers out there on the streets. My project Ghia sits behind my garage, unfortunately, so I was hoping

academics and simple urban indoctrination. How many men have you deceived and intellects have you humiliated? How many mentally challenged folks have you impressed with your childish and flat art? Now you conned some Guido through your excellent oral service abilities and apparent class? You represent everything I despise about Philly wannabes who make it on sheer lack of intellect or compassion for anything which has promise. Promise for a better place where people can be themselves and be free. Your marriage will have a terrible ending, no doubt, and many will celebrate it with rampant glee because you denied them as you denied yourself.....

DIRTY ASS HOUSE How dare you have the nerve to invite somebody into your dirty ass, nasty house. You should be ashamed of yourself. You should of at least had the house cleaned before I came over to see you! You need to clean your house and stop being a nasty bitch and to top it off the house is so nasty and your fucking ugly as shit! How about you and the house both need a makeover

I KNOW YOU MISS ME I don’t know why you are playing so many games with my feelings..instead of facing a situation like a man, you wanna play games or hang up the phone right in the middle of me saying something...I think that shit is so fucking rude! I can’t wait until the tables are turned and you are going to be on the receiving end of me doing the same thing to you! I really sometimes just want to attack you...not in a sexual way either...in a way that I could hurt you alittle bit...stay away from me for now!

JUST BECAUSE

LOVE ME! It took you long enough to know that I just wanted you to love me! I am so glad that we are on the same page again! We argue we fight...we make up...that is what relationships do! So if you feel the need to escape again...just tell me I will understand...I love you more than you will ever know... now I can get a good night’s fucking sleep!

PIECE OF SHIT...

STALKER You make me sick...I cant be checking on your ex boyfriend only because you are obsessed with him! I know that dick wasn’t that good! I know it couldn’t of been! You then call me repeatedly asking me the same question over and over! I know you are fucking psycho but this is ridiculous! Stay away from me!

WHAT’S GOTH AND rhymes with “Impress” Your a mentally challenged puppet, lapping from the feeding bowl of fucked-up

breaking their hearts in the process. God only hopes it comes back to you as much. You are a horrible person and I wouldn’t write this unless you went out of your way to totally convince me of that. Go die.

YOU ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS You know who you are...I don;t want to mention any names because if I do have the world would think it was about them...you stupid bitch why do you keep fucking calling me and calling me! I don’t care about your problems who cares about what you are planning to do with your ex nobody cares..and on the other hand people are trying to get their own fucking revenge on other things...you think that you are smart your not...other people are way fucking ahead of you! Get a fucking life loser!

YOUR MOUTH The other night you said, “I love you too.” You assume too much. You are not my friend; you are my wife’s useless, no-good, sit-on-your-ass, can’t hold a job – doesn’t even bother trying to find one, lazy, piece-of-shit brother who’s life ambition, apparently, is to watch television to the exclusion of all else. Before you moved in with us I considered you one of my closest friends but whatever sympathy I may have had for you has since completely evaporated. This is not because you’re lazy. Even if everything I say above were true, I could look past it if it wasn’t for your mouth. Your mouth is the reason I am not telling you this in person. I can’t stand listening to your mouth. No amount of picking up the yard, taking out the trash, putting out the water bottles (I hope you remembered to do that), cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, shopping for groceries, being here when the plumber comes or taking my dogs to the veterinarian can make up for the extreme displeasure of having to listen to your mouth even one time. And I’ve had to listen to it many more times than just once. Your mouth is the reason that we were unwelcome at Damien’s uncle’s house. Your mouth is the reason that I almost decided at the last minute not to even go on the camping trip. Honestly, I couldn’t imagine having to spend three weeks on the road with your mouth so I tried to pack my car to be self sufficient enough that if I got to the point where I couldn’t take your mouth any longer I could simply leave – no matter which state we happened to be in at the time. Your mouth is the biggest problem in my life right now. It is the source of great stress for me. It is the reason I lay awake at night when I should be sleeping and I have to work the next day. It is the reason I am staying out late when I should be home. When you were away I was so happy without your mouth around. It is the reason I don’t want to be around you and it is the reason that I want you to move out. If it were possible that your mouth could leave and you could stay, I would be willing to consider it. But I don’t think that medical science has developed to the point yet to make this possible. Besides, your mouth has already caused so much damage that it could take years to repair. I have expressed this to Joanna and she believes that somehow something can be done to remedy this situation and she is trying to convince me against my better judgment to give you another chance. I am not optimistic that this will work. You may be able to curb your mouth for a short time as you have done in the past but eventually it will rear its ugly head again and I don’t think that it is worth the risk. So I am begging you, please, do me a favor, if you care about me at all, if you have any decency in you. For god’s sake man! Move out and take your fucking mouth with you. ✚ To place your FREE ad (100-word limit), go to citypaper.net and click on the LOVE/HATE tab near the top of the page. ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

I am so tired of hearing your voice it is fucking annoying, who cares that she fucked your neighbor and boyfriend. Nobody cares about you and your boyfriend. He fucked at least 3 people in the neighborhood and you know this...the shit with that is why are you still staying with him like a asshole. I am tired of having to explain to my boyfriend how much of a needy bitch that you really are! You know you are trash...make good and stop fucking everyone’s boyfriend or husband in the

you might read this and give me a ride sometime? I’m just a guy w/ a passion for Ghias. Please write to philly.ghia at gmail.com if you’d be up for it!

Yo! To the chick that came into my world stating that you believe that I lost weight...you stupid bitch...I was never fat from the fucking beginning...you need to pay attention to your own diet! I look good yes, but I know my shape comes from my mom, god rest her soul! You need to stop eating all that bullshit that you eat and maybe you would look twice as good as I do! Keep your fucking comments to yourself!

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Just because you tell me something doesn’t mean that it is true...and just because I tell you something doesn’t mean that it is true....I am tired of your ass telling me all this stuff and telling me that you care about me espeically that...knowing that you don’t I am tired of the whole fucking thing...why don’t you do me a favor and jump off the fucking bridge already...I don’t know what the tell you besides I am sick of your games...do me a favor find someone else’s tree to bark up because I am done!

YOU FAT BITCH

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How is it that when you are waiting in line at the store people don’t have out their mac card and then can’t remember thier pin number. I would like to thank the stupid ass bitch that acted as if she was lost in the sauce and couldnt remember her pin number people don;t have time for you to get it together...we are trying to get in and out of the store, and then you have the nerve to have all these clothes that the casheir had to take off the hangers and fold! The casheir was done before you stopped playing around....next time i go into the store and someone doesnt remember thier pin number I am going to slap the shit out of you and move you out the way.

neighborhood. If things went my way I would have to go over your house personally and handle this matter! I hope things work out without me having to go to jail to assult.

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

[ i love you, i hate you ]

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

market place

888-220-3984. www.CenturaOnline.com PAIN STOP NOW!

Joint, muscle, back and other. We can help! MOST DOCTOR and INSURANCE APPROVED. NON narcotic relief. FREE telephone consultation. 888-306-9411 Ext. 1A. SAWMILLS

Adoptions ADOPTION

ADOPTION: Loving Couple wishes to give love, happiness and security to your newborn. Let’s help each other. Can help with expenses. Donna & Al 877-492-8546. ADOPTION

STEVEN

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CEMENT CONTRACTORS Concrete • Masonry • Brick Restoration

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PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293.

SAWMILLS from only $3,997MAKE MONEY & SAVE MONEY with your own bandmillCut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE info & DVD: www.NorwoodSawmills.com/300N 1-800-5781363 Ext. 300N.

Automotive Marketplace CASH FOR CARS

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com

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*Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV Certifi ed. Call

COMMERCIAL MORTGAGES

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ized in music videos! Check www.hiuyau.com for demos! hiuyau@verizon.net / 954629-2421 REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

jobs

Special Price! Call (215)-8734835. 1218 Chestnut St.

Help Wanted – Regional

Musician’s Services

HIRING BEAUTIFUL ENTERTAINERS AT THE PENTHOUSE CLUB

SOUND/RECORDING SERVICES

Tapestry Sound & Recording of Lansdale offers live sound, studio, and live recording services for singer-songwriters, bands, performances, and more. Specializing in mobile recording. Demo packages offered. Contact: Cooper, (215)805-4756.

Health Services RAW VEGAN FOOD DELIVERY

GRAND OPENING. Get delicious gourmet prepared raw organic vegan food delivered fresh to your door. www.RawToYourDoor.com RAW VEGAN FOOD DELIVERY

GRAND OPENING. Get delicious gourmet prepared raw organic vegan food delivered fresh to your door. www.RawToYourDoor.com

3001 Castor Ave Philly Stop by for auditions!

Help Wanted – General ACTORS/MOVIE EXTRAS

Needed immediately for upcoming roles $150-$300/ day depending on job requirements. No experience, all looks, 1-800-560-8672 A-109. For casting times/locations. AIRLINES ARE HIRING:

Train for high paying Aviation Maintenance Career. FAA approved program. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance (888) 834-9715. GENERAL HELP WANTED

$9/hr Plus Bonus. Interview Today, Start Tomorrow. PT/FT. 215-271-0188

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rentals

classifieds

Driver-Up to $.42/mile plus a $.02/mile safety bonus. Daily Pay. Weekly Hometime. Van and Refrigerated. CDL-A, 3 months recent experience required 800-414-9569 www. driveknight.com

[ comic ]

rience necessary! We train the right person! For more information or to set up an appointment, please contact: Katrina Thomas (267) 523-5875.

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

HELP WANTED

Apartments for Rent

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers- CDL-A. DRIVER WITH PRIDE. Up to $3,000 Sign-On Bonus for Qualified Drivers! CDL & 6mo. OTR exp. REQâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;D. USA TRUCK 877-5215775 www.usatruck.jobs HELP WANTED DRIVER

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15TH/SPRUCE:

Lrg 1Bdrm in Sought after Location, Beautiful Art Deco details, Front Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Onsite Laundry, Updated Kitch, Wonderful City Views. $1120/Mo. 215-7358030. Lic #219789. 15TH/SPRUCE: BEAUTIFUL ART DECO HIGH-RISE

Studio Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitchen, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! $990/Mo. Available May. 215735-8030. Lic #219789. 15TH/SPRUCE: RARE OPPORTUNITY

for a 2Bdrm apt in unique art deco high-rise. Amazing views, Central Location, HW Floors, Desk Attendant. $1500/mo. Available April. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789. ????? GOT BED BUGS ?????

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1Bdrm in charming brownstone. HW Floors, Updated Kitchen/Bath, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry. $960/mo. Available May. 215-735-8030. Lic #216245

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EVERY SATURDAY NOW THRU MARCH 31ST 820 SPRING GARDEN STREET (9TH & SPRING GARDEN) PHILA, PA 19123

8AM TIL 4PM MORE THAN 60 VENDORS!

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food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

merchandise market

Bedroom set 6 pc. Cherry Brand new, in box $499. 215-752-0911 Bedroom Set brand new queen 5 pc esp. brown $489; twin, full, king size avail. Mattress Avail. Del Avail 215-355-3878

Dinette Set Table with 4 chairs Brand New. $199. Del. avl 215-355-3878 BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS SOLID MAPLE Brand new soft close/dovetail. Crown molding. Can add or subtract to fit kitchen Cost $6400. Sell $1595. 610-952-0033 Pinball machines, shuffle bowling alleys. Will trade for new home carpeting. tntquality@aol.com 215.783.0823

Bd a Queen Pillow top matt set $175; King $250 mem foam $295. 215-752-0911 BD Mattress memory foam w/box sprIng Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033

BDRM SET: Solid Cherry Sleigh Bed, Dresser, Mirror, Chest & Night Stand High Quality. Brand new. Must sell. Cost $6000 Ask. $1200. 610-952-0033

M A R C H 1 - M A R C H 7 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

46 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

** Bob 610-532-9408 ***

Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Persian Black Kittens - 2 Male, Shots, Adorable $350. 484-547-5469

BULLDOG/OLDE ENGLISH puppies. 8 weeks old, $1000. 215-490-4697 Cane Corso Pups Contact Heavenly Hound. 215-252-4367 Cavalier King Charles puppies Vet checked, health guarantee. Delivery available $750 to $850. (717)821-4953

Chihuahua pups, 1 male 1 female, 8 weeks, purebred AKC reg. 215-377-1261 ENGLISH BULLDOG 3F pups, red & white, vet checked, 1st shots and wormed, health guaranteed, $1,800. 717-572-9602 ENGLISH BULLDOG $700 lwilliams52180@yahoo.com (215) 225-6752

English Bulldog AKC REG. Champ lines, health guarantee $1800. 610 888 4390

jobs

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

Podiatry Whirlpool, Whitehall Model #P10-M, 10 gallon, new cond. paid $3500, accepting the best offer. (215)482-9097

YAMAHA DIGITAL PIANO YDP113- beautiful, like new, $700/OBO. 215-248-3613

DR. "J" autographed ONE OF A KIND Doctor’s lab coat. $2,999 features embroidered "Dr. J M.B. (Master of Basketball) Includes a signed LOA from the Julius Erving personal collection. 1-916-600-2146

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

Diabetic Test Strips, $$ Cash Paid $$ Nicotine patches, gum. For highest prices & pick-up, Call 215-395-7100.

DIABETIC TEST STRIPS NEEDED- cash paid, local pickup. Call Faith 856.882.9015 Diabetic Test Strips needed pay up to $10/box. Most brands. Call 610-453-2525 I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787

CALL 215-669-1924

WANTED: EAGLES SBL’S True Eagles fan, Call 610-586-6981

JUNK CARS WANTED Up to $300 for Junk Cars 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903

everything pets pets/livestock

jobs

* * * 215-200-0902 * * * Motorized Chair Merits Good condition. $400/or best offer. James 215-871-0268

BUYING EAGLES SBL’s & TICKETS

BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Mattress Set w/warr, In plastic. $175; Twin $140; 3 pc King $265; Full set $155. Memory foams avl. Del. avl 215-355-3878

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ REALLY PAID

English Bulldog my English puppies live in my home and are members of my family. All puppies are vet. checked and come with a health guarantee, health record and copies of both parents pedigree.Email:kelly111jennifer@gmail.com English Bulldog pups, 10 wks & 30 wks (cheaper) grandparents & parents on premise, shots, papers. 215-696-5832 ENGLISH BULLDOGS AKC, champ blood lines, wrinkles+, health guar, vet check, shots/worm. $1,800 484-319-0571 German Shepherd Puppies, ACA Reg., S/W, farm raised, $450. 610-913-0393 German Shepherd pups, AKC, blacks & tans, fam. raised, S/W $495. 610.913.0138 German Shepherd Pups - AKC. lg boned, champ pedigree. Call 609-351-3205 German Shepherd pups, champion AKC, beautiful, smart, healthy, family raised, 3 left, 2 M $600, 1 F $800. 215-529-7935 Golden-Doodles,Standard & Mini, F1, parents on premises, health guarantee, $500-$1000. Call (484)678-6696 Golden Ret. male pup: AKC, great disposition, champ line, $500. 610-286-5373 GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPIES - AKC, shots, dewormed, vet checked, sire, hip & heart certified. Ready March 12th. Reserve now for $600. Call 610-593-6912 Golden Retriever Puppies, family raised, AKC, show quality, $800. 717-548-0946 Golden Retriever Pups: AKC, family farm raised, w/children, vet/shots/wormed, Ready 2/29! $500. (610)370-7597

GREAT DANE pups, fawn & brindle, AKC, ears crop., vacc., $800. (610)390-2252 Pit Bull: Camelot Red Nose puppies www.DelawareRedPitBulls.com *health guar., *current shots, *ADBA reg. $1000. Matt (302)750-4882 PITBULL Pups, M/F, 3 months to 7 months, ADBA, $375-$450. 215-834-1247 POODLE AKC Mini pups, blk M, champ sire, shots, vet cert, $1200. 215-536-5516 POODLE Black Female Std Poodle Puppy. $600. Call 215-681-6935 Poodle pups (Toy) CKC, 8wks, cute M/F, s/w, colors, $450 & up. 267-297-8662 POODLE Standard, AKC, champ lines, family pets, health guar. 610-621-2894 R ottweiler AKC Champion Sired Rottweiler puppies. $950. Health certified 717-656-2672 SHELTIES AKC, sable boys, 2 very small, ready to leave March 2nd, deposit will hold. Call (610)838-7221 Shetland Sheepdog AKC Family Raised, Downingtown, Avail. Mar 1 610-321-2798 Shih Tzu Puppies, ACA reg., 2 fem., shots, health gaur., ready. (570)539-2026 Siberian Husky Pups AKC fam raised, vet chk’d, M/F, $525. Call (717)225-6767 WEIMARANER PUPS M/F, gray/blue, reg., health guar., exc litter. 570.589.1465 Wheaten Terriers, soft coated (nonshed), 8 wks, $900. Call 215-407-6712 Whippet Pups, AKC, champ Snowcap bloodlines, Call (609)882-0436

CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER

Saint Joseph’s Preparatory School - Philadelphia

a Catholic, Jesuit college preparatory school serving nearly 1,000 young men-is seeking qualified candidates for an experienced Chief Financial Officer. The ideal candidate will possess a combination of the following: µ Undergraduate degree in accounting, finance or economics; MBA a plus; Certified Public Accountant preferred µ 10+ years progressive experience in finance and management. Earlier career progression from a public accounting firm is desirable; µ A strong commitment to the philosophy, mission and core values of Jesuit education; µ Excellent interpersonal and communication skills and proven leadership at the managerial level. To view the entire job posting and the mission and characteristics of the school visit our website at www.sjprep.org/employment Equal Opportunity Employer

NON-PROFIT CEO

ATLANTIC COUNTY, NJ

Gilda’s Club South Jersey (GCSJ) a ten year old cancer support organization, seeks a CEO to lead our highly motivated staff. Qualifications: Bachelor’s degree with minimum 7 years experience in a leadership position with demonstrated skills and experience in management, staff supervision, marketing, fund-raising, budget-oversight, and public relations. Strong verbal, written and communication skills are needed. Competitive salary and benefit package commensurate with experience. Please send resume and expression of interest to: STEVEMARCHEL@GMAIL.COM or Steve Marchel 23 South Washington Ave 1B Margate, NJ 08402

Rail Car Tester

Philadelphia, PA

Tester F/T. $19.92/hr. Test & trouble-shoot rail car electrical control circuit & brake systems. Analyze rail car system failure. 2 years’ experience required. Send resume to HR Mgr, Hyundai Rotem USA Corp, 2400 Weccacoe Ave., Philadelphia, PA 19148 or email resume to nikki.im@rotemusa.com

Borough Manager/Secretary Selinsgrove, PA

Selinsgrove Borough is hiring a Manager/Secretary. Please visit our website at www.selinsgrove.org EOE

SALES

Bristol, PA

Growing sales co. in need of 3 sharp reps to svc new & existing accts. Must have in-home sales exp. All leads provided by company. $70K$90K Base + comm. Call 1-800-772-7786 X 214

Truck Drivers/Mechanics

Republic Services Philadelphia

Helper with CDL (Valid Class A or B CDL with air brakes end., current MVR/ driver abstract) Truck Mechanic (Req 1 year of related truck or heavy equip. maint.) Drivers (residential trash truck). Valid Class A or B CDL, airbrakes, current MVR/driver abstract) Roll-Off Driver (Valid Class A or B CDL, airbrakes end., 2 yrs of roll-off or tri-axle driving exp, good record, stable work history) Container Mechanic (1 yr cert from college or tech school a +; & 5 yr related exp &/or training; or equivalent combo of educ. & exp. CDL Class B w/ air pref; certs, lic. & registrations. Apply in person: Republic Services of Philadelphia, 3000 E. Hedley St, Phila, PA 19137, Mon-Fri; 8am 3-pm

Housekeeper, errands, PT-FT, 5 yrs exp, refs,car,bkgd chk,Overbrook,215.290.2100

Researcher

Philadelphia PA

Full time Salary position for work at a research and development facility. Requirements: µ High School Diploma, µ Mechanically inclined, µ Preferably a bio-refinery operator Description: Researcher who conducts experiments using a variety of different experiments as well as running tests with small high pressure reactors. To apply reply with resume to: Jsaxton@changingworldtech.com

CPA - CFO/CONTROLLER Hands-on, diversified multi functional CFO, seeks to be your P/T or F/T CFO. Will help run your firm with you or for you if needed. Call 215-932-9795 Home Health Aid needs job assisting elderly in thier homes, experienced, references. (610)284-3471 or (267)581-4289

apartment marketplace 12xx Federal St. 1br $600/mo c/a, w/d, w/w, near transp, 215-300-6361 15th & Wharton 1 BR $650+gas/elec references required. Call 856-465-3464

1119 S. 61st St. 1Br $650 1st flr, exc. loc, Sec 8 OK 267-988-5698 22xx S. 63rd 2br $700 2nd floor, section 8 ok. (610)812-6352 65xx Grays Ave 1BR $550 Great block. Must see. Call 610-322-3416 67xx Guyer Ave. 1br $700+elec Renovated, duplex, w/w (215)407-1395 73xx Dicks Ave. 2BR $630/mo. 2nd floor. Call 215-837-3328

13xx S. 58th 1BR & 2BR $625-$700 heat & water incl. 215-921-2769 1BR & 2BR Apts Available $650 & up newly renovated, must see 215-284-7944 214 N. 54th St. 3-4BR $725 1st,last, sec $2,175 move in 610.454.0292 40th & Fairmount vic. 1Br $500+elect. 3rd flr, 1st/last/sec. 215.222.2403 aft 1pm 4224 Parkside Ave 2br $950+utils w/d, balcony, hdwd flrs, cent.air, beautiful park view & PT Museum (267)591-8487 42nd & Parkside 1br $560+utils fin. bsmnt., newly renov. 610-551-1023 51xx W. Thompson St. 2BR off 52nd St., Sec 8 OK. 215-848-5072 54xx Walnut Nice 3BR $750+utils also 1Br Apt. available. Call 610-790-3510 59xx Cedar Ave. 2BR $750+utils Newly renov., available 3/1, 1st, last months rent & security req. 215-917-6417 63rd & Market lrg 2BR $650 nr trans, very nice, heat incl, 215.688.7104 658 N. 56th St. 2BR $700/mo 1st flr, kitc, new ba & hw flrs, lrg LR, pch, yd, newly renov’d, $1400 move-in. Call Leslie 215-385-5086

4714 Warrington Ave 1Br $775 1st foolr bi-level, newly renov., W/D, hdwd floors, dishwasher. 215-939-8678

W. Mt. Airy 2 BR/1 BA $1250+ utils In restored Mansion, LR, fplc, hw flrs, mod kit, SS appls, w/d, c/a, DW, microwave, off st prkg. A Jefferson 215-849-4343

17xx Conlyn St. 1br $625+utils 2nd flr, priv. entry, 2mo sec 267.968.3447 20xx N. 62nd 1-2BR $650-$950 nice block, 1st, last & sec. (215)878-5056 Various 1, 2 & 3 BR Apts $725-$895 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

Balwynne Park 2BR $850+ W/D, C/A, W/W, March 1. 484-351-8633

5942 N. Hutchinson St. 2br $725+ Open House Sun. 2-4pm. (215)620-4538 Ogontz & Nedro 2br $725+utils duplex 2nd flr, renovated. washer/dryer hook-up, available March 1. 215-432-7619

Albright St. 3BR/1BA $900/mo. Completely renov., includes porch. Sec. 8 OK & 3BR voucher. Call 908-578-1677

52nd & Montgomery 2Br $800+ kitch/DR. spacious BR 215-605-2134 79xx Woodcrest Ave. 2BR/1BA $750 Includes water, 1st floor duplex, no pets, near R5. Sec. dep. Call 215-342-3448

3800 13th St. 1BR $450/mo. Inlcudes utils. Call (267) 592-0478 Strawberry Mansion 1BR newly renovated. Call 215-430-0737

11xx E. Tioga 1br Please Call (267)205-3238

$600+utils

3252 Frankford Ave. 1BR $500+elec LR, DR, kitch., bath, pantry, back yard, 1st floor unit, newly renov. (215) 624-7100

1507 Foulkrod 1Br & 2Br $625 Sec 8 OK. 215.778.0977 267.496.9252 1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000 12xx W Allegheny 2br $625 Newly renovated, 215-221-6542 38xx N. 15th new 52Br $600+utils 2nd fl, beautiful, renov, n/s, 267.809.7866

CAMAC ST. 2BR $585+utils 2nd floor, 4 rooms, carpet & window treatments, shared yard, (267)608-0182

4645 Penn St. 1BR $625. newly renov gas/wtr inc 215-781-8072 4700 Penn St Effic. & 1br $425-$450 w/w, close to transp. 267-235-5952 Frankford & Oxford Efficiency $500 Utilities included, call 215-620-6261

28xx Ryerson 2br duplex $800 2nd floor, bsmt, gar, yard, 267-784-2809 3204 Magee 1br $750+ util. 2nd flr, new kitchen & bath, incl. w/d, stove & fridge. Call David 267-231-0211

3625 Red Lion Rd 2br $725+util newly renov, 215-744-5750/510-0034 5923 Hegerman 1br $525 prvt prkg, laundry, storage 610.710.1986

LaSALLE UNIV AREA 4BR 1.5BA hdwd flrs, full kitchen, Patio $1750/ month NOT incl utils. 215-850-6618

Cottman & Blvd Nice 2br/1ba 1 block to Roosevelt Mall 609-476-3942

61xx Tabor Rd 1br $575 nice loc, fresh paint, avl now 610.710.1986 809 Red Lion Rd. 2Br/2Ba Condo $1100 gas & water incl. Call 215-917-7302 94xx Kirkwood Rd. 2BR $800+utils w/w carpet, 2nd floor, 215-778-4292 Academy & Grant 2BR $795+ 1st flr,w/w, c/a,off st prkg 856.346.0747

Red Lion/Verree Road Vic. Duplex 1 lrg BR $680+utils. Call 215-808-8863 Rhawn & Academy 1br Condo $695 w/enclosed garden patio. (215)943-0370

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $715-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 4617 Wayne Large Efficiency $450 heat & hot wtr inc. EIK, 267-600-6894 5220 Wayne Ave. Studio & 1 BR on site lndry, 215-744-9077, Lic# 507568 East Penn St 1BR $650+electric 3rd flr loft, tile bath w/jacuzzi, modern kit, walk-in closet, deck. 215-848-5513 E. Logan St. 2BR $700/mo Incl heat, near transp. Call 267-228-6601

Somerton area 2br $695+ w/w, 2nd flr, DR, yard, 856-346-0747 TACONY lrg 2BR $650+utils 1st floor, W/D. Call 215-355-3548

WARMINSTER Lg 1-2-3 BR Sect. 8 OK 2 MONTHS FREE RENT!!! HURRY!! Pets & smoking ok. We work with credit problems. Call for Details: 215-443-9500

DOWNINGTOWN 2br $1050 lg deck, gar, w/d in unit 215-778-0344

Sunshine Rd 3BR/1BA $850/mo + utils HUGE modrn 2nd fl apt. Close to terminal Sec 8 OK Call G NOW 267-872-4709

DREXEL HILL: Furnished room includes bed, TV, A/C, utilities. $450/mo. + $225 Sec. Dep. Call John (610)259-7039. PAOLI, PA. lady wants a single person to share 3Br single rancher w/ her. Private bth, close to train $660/mo 215.493.6920

13th/Erie furn rms $95 & up/week Priv. ent, single occupancy 215-514-7143 13xx Butler St. $100-$125/wk , Utils. incl. Monthly $400-$500. 215-917-3809 1406 S 23rd. S. Phila: Newly renov. No drugs. $90/wk,utils inc. 215-439-5836 1xx N Millick pvt home,use of Kit & ba No sec/last mo. $350/mo. 215-834-6473 22nd & Hunting Park, renov, lrg rm, furn $85-$95 wk 2nd week free! 215.960.1600 2435 W. Jefferson St. Rooms: $380/mo, Move in fee: $570. Call 215-913-8659 4223 Lancaster Ave, Clean room near transportation. 267-738-6201 4508 N. Broad St. Rooms: $400/mo. Move in fee: $600. Call 215-913-8659

51xx Race St. - Furn. room, clean & quiet. Single occupancy, no drugs or smoking. $400/mo. & up. SSI ok. Call 267.847.0681 52ND & LOCUST - Lovely, lge furnished sleeping room. Reasonable. 215.747.2359 53xx N. Broad St Room & efficiency, Full size fridge, 27" TV, AC, 267-496-6448

A1 Nice, well maintained rms, N. & W. Phila. Starting @ $125/wk 610.667.9675 ALLEGHENY $90/wk. $270 sec dep Nr L train, furn, quiet. 609-703-4266 BreweryTown/Temple U: Luxury furn. rms, priv ent., no smoking 267-240-2474 Broad & Erie, share kit & bath $105 & up NO DRUGS 215.228.6078 or 215.229.0556 Broad & Olney deluxe furn room priv ent $110 -$145wk. Sec $200. 215-572-8833 Church & Frankford, furn rm, $100/wk, $400 mv in,SSI & Vets welc,610.291.4448 Frankford, furnished, near bus & El, $85/wk & up + $295 sec. 215-526-1455 Furnished rooms for rent $200/mo. Call (267) 592-0478 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (215)548-6083 Germantown, Clean furn. rooms, some with private baths. Call Jeff 215-805-3823 Handyman Special Upr Darby lg$500 sm rm $380 No smok’g/nr tran484-478-4492 Hunting Park: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable & internet. 267-331-5382 Kensington, furn, shared kitch & bth $375, prvt kitchen & bath, $500. 267-968-7043 LaSalle Univ area $125/week Renov furn rooms 215-843-4481 Logan/WP/NP private entry, furnished, $85-$115/wk. 609-877-0375 North East Phila., Newly renov, nicely furnished, A/C W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267)333-0901 N Phila, 24xx Bancroft, nice size rooms, newly renovated, Call 215-839-9407 N. Phila: clean, modern rms, use of kit, no drugs,reasonable rent. 215-232-2268 SW,N, W Move-in Special! $90-$125/wk Clean furn. rooms. SSI ok. 215-220-8877 W. Phila $125 & Univ. City $125 & up. newly renov, nice neighb 267-258-8727 W Phila clean medium rm + 1br, pvt entr nr tranMust be workg avl now 215-494 8794 W. Philadelphia Furnished Rooms $130-$150/wk, carpet, W/D 267.236.2158

15xx S Stanley 3BR $675 1 car gar, hdwd flrs. Call 215-833-6673 21xx Manton St 3br/1ba $850+utils newly remod., hwd flrs, new kit w/granite countertops, new bathroom (215)917.1091 7xx Sedgley St. 3br/1ba $795+ sec. 8 ok, no pets. Call 215-539-7866 Broad & Jackson 1BR $750 beautiful Apt. Call (215)450-3781

60xx Ogontz Ave 3br utilties not incl. Sec 8 OK 215-848-5072

7xx E Allegheny large 2br/1.5ba $685+ newly renovated, 215-836-1960 Kensington 2BR & 3BR $600-$725 1st, last, 1 month security, 215-399-6187

15xx Womrath St. 6br/2ba Newly Renovated, 718-753-6090 20xx Kingston 3br $725 large LR, section 8 ok, 267-307-6964

60xx Christian St. 2br $850 backyard, $2550 move-in. 267-972-9693 SW (Elmwood Area) 3br house modern, Section 8 welcome 215.726.8817 SW Phila. 3BR/1BA from $795+utils "The Landlord That Cares" Tasha 267.584.5964, Mark 610.764.9739

38xx Melon St. 2br/1ba $750 beautiful, move in immediately, bsmnt, yard, close to everything (267)574-4163 4121 Poplar St 4br/2ba $795+ porch, basement, yard, call 215.276.1045 51xx Ludlow 3BR $750+utils $1,500 move-in. Call (484)433-5764 54xx Pentridge St. 3br $750 new carpet & paint, avl now 610.710.1986 54XX Westminster 3Br/1Ba $800 Twin, 1mo + security. 267-825-4553 57th & Arch 2Br/1Ba $650+utils new carpet & paint. Call 215-350-6430 62nd & Arch 2BR $850+utils Sec. 8 ok, hdwd flrs. Call 610-649-9009

58XX Woodcrest Av 3BR/1-1.5BA $850 Month. House w/w carpet, Rms have air cable Finished basement washer, dryer. RENT 1st/last mo $500 sec deposit. Call Ms. Joseph 267-269-0195

FUSION SEL 2008 $14,500 14K, white, V6, lthr, loaded. 215-565-5428

Jaguar 2002 3.0S Type with sunroof, like new, few original miles, corporate disposal, Distress sale $6,985. 215-928-9632

Caravan SXT 2004 $6,400/obo 1 ownr, 68K, PW, PL, loaded 215.237.0109

2719 Webb St. 2br/1ba $725+utils Newly Renov, 215-744-5750/510-0034

DISCOVERY SE 2004 $8,950 4 dr w/ 2 sunroofs, all extras, few orig mi, regulary serviced, woman driver, must sacrifice below book value. 215-627-1814

12xx Alcott St. 3br/1ba $950+utils remodeled, bsmt, garage 267-784-2809

Grand Am GT 2004 black, 4 door, 58K, immaculate in/out, new insp., chrome rims. (267)750-8127

13xx E. Luzerne St 2br duplex newly reno, Sec 8 approved 267.467.0140 20xx Pratt St. 3br Section 8 approved, 215-205-9910 21xx Conwell Ave 3Br/2Ba new renov, Sec 8 OK. 267-467-0140 4925 Ella St. 3BR/1BA $800+utils row home, avail 3/14, 510-506-0321

Chevrolet El Camino Choo Choo 1986 orig. owner, new: ZZ4, 700 R4 & paint, Lost interest. $8500/obo (609)625-4147

$300 & UP FOR JUNK CARS CALL 215-722-2111 CASH FOR CARS - Any Type of Vehicles: High Quality orJunk Cars. (732)221-4008

63xxDitman St. 3Br/2Ba fin basement, corner bldg. 267-721-1367 6407 Eastwood St 3br $875+util newly renov, 215-744-5750/510-0034

Cash paid on the spot for unwanted vehicles, 24/7 pick up, 215-288-9500

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

Holland PA. 1BR/1BA $950/mo plus 6022 Wycoop Ct2nd fl condo util. Laundry in unit. Call 215-896-1764

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

DARBY 3 BR/1BA twin $985+ utils close to transp, Sec 8 ok. 610-529-3531 A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053 1212 W. Sergeant St 3BR/1BA $650 609-864-1269 32xx N. 15th 4BR/2BA new renov, hw flrs, Sec 8 ok267.250.3269

4528 N. 19th St. 4BR $800+utils. Sec. 8 ok. Call 215-704-9994 / 429-8720 Brewerytown 1340 N 29th 4br $900+ut newly renov, 215-744-5750/510-0034

1xx Linton St. 3BR/1BA $900+utils Section 8 OK. Call 215-740-4629

44xx N. Cleveland 3BR $700 newly renovated, carpet, paint, nice small backyard, good block. 267-249-6645

Broad & Roosevelt 2br & 3br $700+ new renov., new carpet & kitch w/granite counter tops, Sec. 8 ok 215-463-6366

GERMANTOWN 3br $1,000/MO lease purchase, 12-24 mo. terms. $5,000 down payment, no bank qualifying. Call 267-235-1166 or www.ownhome4.us/paramountfie ldservices/2 Germantown & Chelten 2Br & 6 Br 1st, last and security. Call 267-591-9269

Oreland 4BR /2BA $1,700 Single Family House. Beautiful, hardwood floor, new kitchen, new bath, nice yard. 215-740-7276 Wyncote/Chelten. Twp. 4br/2.5ba split level, completely renov., driveway, spacious yard, family rm. 267-481-1464

Williamstowne/Monroe 4br $1,590 detached garage & shop, 917-653-0272

Harley Davidson 100th Anniv. Ed. 2003 Heritage Softtail Classic, like new, only 1100 miles, $13,500. (267)971-4643 HD. 100th Anniversary Road King 2003 Classic, heated gar. kept, like new, 2,800 mi, orig. owner. $13,900. 856.768.0855

Ford Explorer Limited 2002 $9600 white, exc cond., 97k mi., ( 267)970-8643

low cost cars & trucks BMW Roadster Conv. 1997 $2,000 needs some work. 267-679-8179

Mercedes Benz E320 4Matic Wagon 1998 $4700 Great Cond. 267-414-4819

BUICK CENTURY 2001 $4,300 41K mi., pw, pl, cd. Call 215-850-5702

Nissan Sentra GXE 2000 $2,800 gray, auto, 118K, exc cond. 215-900-6299

Cadillac Seville SLS 2003 $4700 /obo 115k, fully loaded, power. 215-237-0109 DODGE STRATUS SE 2004 $4300 64,000 miles, 4 door. 215-715-4647 Ford 1996 Luxury Conv. Van (new body style) a/c, full power, TV, perfect cond, quick private sale, $3650. 215-922-5342

RECESSION SPECIALS!!! Nissan Altima ’98 CD, runs 100% $1550 Pont Grand Prix ’02 99K, flawless $3333 Chev Malibu ’04 CD, flawless, 4cyl$2799 Monte Carlo ’03 CD, (good deal) $2799 Merc Sable ’01 tint, runs 100%, CD $2222 All below KBB, wont last (215)520-7890

Ford Windstar LX 1999 $1650 4 dr, loaded, 7 pass., clean 215-280-4825

VW Beetle GLS 2000 $3,295 5 speed, sunroof, gorgeous 610-524-8835

Geo (Chevy) Metro LSI 1998 $2350 auto,AC,CD,40mpg, rns new215.620.9383

VW Passat GLS Wagon 2003 $3995 auto, sunroof, gorgeous, 610-524-8835

DOMINO LN 1 & 2 BR $695-$875 Renovated, parking, d/w, near shopping & dining, move in special, 215-500-7808

ROSLYN 2BR/1.5BA $900+utils LR, eat in kit, w/w crpt, d/w, refrig, garb. disp., w/d, c/a, gas ht., small patio, pvt. prkg, no pets, avail 3/1/12 (215)643-0325

Many APTS & HOUSES available start’g @ $595+. Rent to Own options and first time buyer programs . SFREM 215-332-7044

Malibu 2001 $8,000/obo. 9k mi original, garage kept, a-title, 1 owner, 6 cylinder, automatic, power brakes, steering & air 215-338-6267.

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 1 - M A R C H 7 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

423 W Ruscomb 1BR $600+utils yard, bsmnt, renovated, (215)783-2526 52xx N 6th St 1br $625 includes heat Lrg 2nd flr, seperate entry 609.788.8886 5853 N. Camac 1BR $650+utils granite kit, 267.271.6601 or 215.416.2757 5th & Chew 2BR $695+utils 2nd flr, w/w, GD, Sec 8 OK. 215-322-8784 60XX Warnock 1 BR $595+ near Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534

King of Prussia 2BR $1,175+utils lrg kitch, C/A, nice property 610.265.1568

automotive

2473 77th Ave 3br/1ba $1250 + utils. newly renov, 215-744-5750/510-0034 E. Montana & Germantown 3br $875+ newly updated, hdwd flrs, 215-839-6468

NORTH PHILLY - Furn. rms w/ pvt. bath. NORRISTOWN - Rooms. 484-636-8205

classifieds

P a r k s i d e A r e a 1Br-5Br starting @ $700. Newly renov, new kit & bath, hdwd flrs, Section 8 OK. Call 267-324-3197 W. Phila 2, 3 & 4 br Bi-Levels Avail Now Move in Special! 215-386-4791 or 4792

homes for rent

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The Waitstaffâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s SPRING Sketch Comedy Show W/Special Guests: Rick Santorum and Jesus H. Christ Tues 3/13 at 8pm at Helium Comedy Club 2031 Sansom Street, Tix: $15 www.TheWaitstaff.com

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200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com

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