Philadelphia City Paper, February 26th, 2015

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cpstaff We made this

Associate Publisher Jennifer Clark Editor in Chief Lillian Swanson Senior Editor Patrick Rapa Arts & Culture Editor Mikala Jamison Food Editor Caroline Russock Senior Staff Writers Daniel Denvir, Emily Guendelsberger Copy Chief Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, Dotun Akintoye, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Bryan Bierman, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Mark Cofta, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, David Anthony Fox, Caitlin Goodman, K. Ross Hoffman, Jon Hurdle, Deni Kasrel, Alli Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79� Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, John Morrison, Michael Pelusi, Natalie Pompilio, Sameer Rao, Jim Saksa, Elliott Sharp, Marc Snitzer, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Nikki Volpicelli, Brian Wilensky, Julie Zeglen Editorial Interns Lauren Haber, Ryan Hughes, Owen Lyman-Schmidt, Kelan Lyons, Sam Yeoman Production Director Michael Polimeno Senior Designer Brenna Adams Designer & Social Media Director Jenni Betz Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Charles Mostoller, Hillary Petrozziello, Maria Pouchnikova, Neal Santos, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith U.S. Circulation Director Joseph Lauletta (ext. 239) Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Amanda Gambier (ext. 228), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Susanna Simon (ext. 250) Classified Advertising Sales Jennifer Fisher, 215-717-2681. Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel 22

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Bruce Schimmel founded City Paper in a Germantown storefront in 1981. Local philanthropist Milton L. Rock purchased the paper in 1996 and published it until August 2014 when Metro US became the paper’s third owner. citypaper.net

30 South 15th Street, Fourteenth Floor, Phila., PA 19102. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-735-8444 ext. 241, Listings Fax 215-875-1800, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright Š 2014, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public. 55

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| P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

F e b r u a r y 2 6 - M a r c h 4 , 2 0 1 5 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

contents Cover story, see p. 8

Naked City ...................................................................................4 A&E ...............................................................................................12 Movies.........................................................................................14 22

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Food ..............................................................................................18 34

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Sex .................................................................................................23 Cover PhotograPh by hillary Petrozziello design by brenna adams

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thebellcurve

city

CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ + 1] A Radnor college student with the name

Dean accidentally has the fake IDs he ordered from China mailed to the dean of his school. And now he needs to ace all his exams and win the big boat race or his frat house will be condemned.

[0]

C hase Utley says “fuck” into the microphone while waiting for a spring training press conference to start, the third public f-bomb of his career. Someone showed him the roster. 22

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[ + 2] An ESPN study names the Sixers the top user of analytics, or advanced situational stats, in professional sports. “Should we trade our best player for a blue dog mascot? Our metrics say yes.”

[ + 2] The Barnes Foundation finds two sketches by Cézanne hidden on the backs of two of his paintings. The first one is Garfield wearing sunglasses and the other’s a centipede attempting to copulate with a french fry. Not his best stuff.

[ - 1]

T he photogenic “ice palace” in West Philly — an office building that became encased in icicles by firefighters battling a blaze — is demolished following a week of Internet celebrity. “My squat!” cries Superman.

[ + 1] Gov. Wolf says low self-esteem is a “big problem” among Pennsylvanians who have “an excess of modesty.” #humblebrag

[ + 1] The National Association of African-

American Owned Media files a $20 billion discrimination complaint against Comcast and Time Warner Cable. “We’re terribly sorry. We were not aware that there was media we did not own.”

[ - 1]

The actor who plays the Sixers’ new mascot, Franklin, allegedly tweeted several years ago about his love for the Knicks and hate for “waaaack” Philadelphia. Now he dresses like a dog and huffs his own farts on a nightly basis. We should do that to every Knicks fan.

This week’s total: +5 | The year so far: +11 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

miChele melCher

[ dating ]

➤ On preparing fOr a date:

Meant to be broken

rules: “Most women go on dates with a lot of expectations. They want the man to find them beautiful, to ask them out again, and to father their children.” my take: right. When you’re out on an awkward Tinder meetup with the only guy whose opening line wasn’t a plea for your nudes, the theme of the entire experience is “I really hope he gets me pregnant.”

A modern reaction to an antiquated (and idiotic and offensive) dating guide for women. By Mikala Jamison

I

n february 1995, a little book called The Rules hit the shelves. Subtitled Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right, the book has been called “the modern woman’s dating bible” and has been referenced across popular culture, for better or worse, for years. I found a copy tucked away on a shelf at The Next Page bookstore on chestnut Street at its closing sale last month, and was promptly aghast. The main dictums by which the authors of The Rules — ellen fein and Sherrie Schneider — want women to abide are essentially these: you must be aloof, never expressing too much interest; you must let the man be “the man,” and you must do these things to keep one prize in sight — hooking a groom. could this really have been published only 20 years ago? a recent CityLab analysis says Philadelphia is home to about 70,000 more single women than men. If any of those many thousands decided to turn to this book for advice today, here’s what she’d find — along with my take on it all; call it the updated version.

f e b r u a r y 2 6 - m a r c h 4 , 2 0 1 5 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

rules: “It’s best to be busy right up until the doorbell rings so that you’re slightly breathless and brimming with energy when you finally see him.” my take: If “busy right up until the doorbell rings” means “frantic and panicking because I napped for an hour too long, singed my forehead with my curling iron, can’t find my magic ass-improving jeans and forgot to wax my lady-mustache,” then call me a rules Girl! rules: “Go to the movies (see a comedy not a romance, so love isn’t too much on your mind), read the newspaper or a book to fill your head with something other than how your first name sounds with his last name. If you’re busy all day, you won’t be so needy and empty when he picks you up.” my take: “Oh, we mean, you’ll always be needy and empty, you’re a woman. maybe just not so needy and empty.” rules: “Remember that you’re dressing for men, not other women, so

always strive to look feminine.”

>>> continued on adjacent page

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[ the naked city ]

✚ Meant to be Broken <<< continued from page 5

tomorrow exchange buy *sell*trade

My take: “It’s only after four months that you can

feel secure in allowing him to see the real you and be present for your nightly molting process; you’ll unzip your female skin suit and allow him to lay eyes upon your true, half-scales, half-feathers, gelatinous form. If you have bad scales, get a scale job.â€? rules: “When a man is not in love with you, he not­

ices nothing or only the bad. For example, he might say, ‘Lose weight and I’ll take you on vacation.’� My take: That’s terrible. a nice guy would send you to fat camp as a vacation. rules: “Before he comes to your apartment, tuck

this book away in your top drawer ‌ Hide in the closet anything you don’t want him to see, such as a bottle of Prozac.â€? My take: “because you’re obviously on Prozac.â€?

hot the sex gets.� My take: “Sup, man? Just fyI, it’s chill, I’m about to come or whatever, but like, no big deal.� rules: “[During sex] Don’t be a drill sergeant, demanding that he do this or that. You have to trust that if you relax and let him explore your body like uncharted territory you will have fun and be satisfied.� My take: Girls, if he watches porn, he’ll know exactly what you’ll want. Those women are always genuinely satisfied.

➤ And finAlly: rules: [On personal ads] “They [typically] contain

too much information. ‌ Of course you like walks on the beach, who doesn’t?� My take: The kid Sheila lost on the beach, that’s who. ➤ On sex: %JGUVPWV 5V Ê

rules: “What Rules should you follow in bed? First and foremost, stay emotionally cool no matter how

rules: “We suggest you try The

rules for six months before doing anything else. You can’t do The rules and something else at the same time.� My take: Like think! (mikala@citypaper.net, @notjameson)

7 Things You Must Know Before Putting Your Home Up for Sale Philadelphia - A new report has just been released which reveals 7 costly mistakes that most homeowners make when selling their home, and a 9 Step System that can help you sell your home fast and for the most amount of money. This industry report shows clearly how the traditional ways of selling homes have become increasingly less and less effective in today's market. The fact of the matter is that fully three quarters of homesellers don't get what they want for their homes and become disillusioned and - worse - financially disadvantaged when they put their homes on the market. As this report uncovers, most homesellers make 7 deadly mistakes that cost them literally thousands of

dollars. The good news is that each and every one of these mistakes is entirely preventable. In answer to this issue, industry insiders have prepared a free special report entitled "The 9 Step System to Get Your Home Sold Fast and For Top Dollar". To order a FREE Special Report, visit http://www.phillysbesthomes.com/ seller_mistakes.asp or to hear a brief recorded message about how to order your FREE copy of this report call toll-free 1-800-560-2075 and enter 4000. You can call any time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Get your free special report NOW to find out how you can get the most money for your home.

This report is courtesy of Larry Levin, Coldwell Banker Preferred. Not intended to solicit buyers or sellers currently under contract. Copyright Š 2014

| P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

f e b r u a r y 2 6 - m a r c h 4 , 2 0 1 5 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

hostilewitness 55

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Why the SRC angeRed eveRyone ➤ I could have reported in advance all but the ending of last Wednesday’s grueling, five-hour School reform commission meeting, convened to adjudicate 39 charter-school applications. charter-school advocates pleaded for salvation from failing public schools. Opponents, including experts from the education Law center and Public citizens for children and youth, pointed out that charters expand at the financial expense of traditional public schools. The Src finally voted to approve five new charters from among the city’s most high-profile operators: freire, Independence, KIPP, mastery, and maST. The Src’s decisions were likely foregone, if theretofore unknown, conclusions. my biggest surprise was that police aggressively blocked me from photographing the resulting protest mêlée (iPhone result: fuzzy). The School District of Philadelphia estimates that each new regular charter seat costs $7,000 in additional expenses. The District currently spends about a third of its budget to educate more than 62,000 students in charter schools. It also has laid off thousands of teachers and staff in recent years, closed dozens of schools and has projected a deficit of roughly $80 million for the coming fiscal year. The Src did not have to approve any new charters, but it did. The estimated cost is $6.8 million over five years. The District did, however, have to accept applications. republican legislators made it a condition of legislation passed last year allowing Philly to impose its own cigarette tax, so as to fund its own public schools, by plugging just a small portion of the recurring gap that their draconian cuts have blown into our budget. republican house Speaker mike Turzai thinks we owe him one. Strange times. but gale-force political crosswinds have made public school warfare newly unpredictable. Gov. Tom corbett had moved in lockstep with GOP legislators to decimate public-education funding and prop up privately managed alternatives. Gov. Tom Wolf, a Democrat elected to reverse corbett’s cuts, urged the Src to not approve new charters it could not afford. Turzai insisted that “charter schools are saving children’s lives,” on WPhT 1210 am, the sorts of “kids who don’t have a lot of breaks in their lives, low-income families in tough neighborhoods sometimes.” The sentiment is interesting because Turzai, a master butcher of school budgets, had previously expressed limited feeling for Philadelphia’s downtrodden schoolchildren. 22

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[ the naked city ]

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Turzai wasn’t pleased with only five new charters, and the Src, which attempted to serve opposing masters, angered almost everyone in the process. Turzai told the Daily News that the Src had “bowed to the pressures of the governor, who wanted zero charters approved, and to those people that just don’t want any charters.” It was, both Turzai and mark Gleason, executive director of the Philadelphia School Partnership [PSP], complained in eerily similar language, “a missed opportunity.” PSP, which supports charters and fights the teachers’ union, infuriated many by making a coercive $25 million pledge to help cover the cost of thousands of new charter-school seats that it sought. That sum would have likely fallen far short of the true cost, and it’s unclear where that

“A night only lawyers could love.” offer now stands. KIPP’s marc mannella told reporters it was “a night only lawyers could love,” according to the Inquirer, suggesting that many charters would appeal their denials to the state charter appeal board. Src members insisted, unconvincingly, that they considered only charter applications’ merits and not their financial impact. That may be a strategic effort to withstand appeals. charters are a mixed bag, but public-education advocates are right to be concerned that charter boosters have hitched their wagon to conservative politicians intent on gutting public education — and then exploiting the resulting crises to advance their policy agenda. I do hope that Turzai’s concern for poor “kids who don’t have a lot of breaks in their lives” has a half-life that lasts through budget season. (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net) c i t y pa p e r . n e t | f e b r u a r y 2 6 - m a r c h 4 , 2 0 1 5 | p h i l a d e l p h i a c i t y pa p e r |

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CP: So, Urban Jungle is known for vertical green walls … CA: Yeah, that’s my passion. That’s why I started my business: to fund my research, and to open people’s eyes about vertical greening. And that’s what’s happening: I’m doing green walls in Brooklyn now. But it takes time to develop [the green wall] market. The garden center is immediate — that has a constant cash flow. That’s what keeps the doors open, pays the bills, keeps the people employed. CP: What are the particular challenges of gardening in the city? CA: Light — no light. No space. No drainage. We help people overcome those challenges through our consultations, our suggestions and our ideas based [on] our experience. We help people go vertical. I mean, it sounds kind of, I dunno, highfalutin to say we’ve created a new paradigm. … But we’ve created a new way of doing things. This is a new industry, really. Urban landscaping is a new thing. There is a huge demand and it goes

back to that emotional tie to plants. CP: Can you expound on that? CA: There are a ton of studies that have discussed this. It helps kids study better; it helps people have a better outlook on life. And that’s why you see more vertical landscaping going on in cities. CP: So are green walls the kind of things that can make the city seem more pleasant, and influence decisions on whether to stay in the city? CA: That’s right. If you can provide a solution where you can bring that green that they used to have in the ’burbs, they’ll move here. And that’s what they’re doing. CP: You went to West Point. Gardening seems about as far away from the usual USMA [U.S. Military Academy] grad career path as I can imagine. CA: Yeah, they’re more about security, homeland security and all that. I’m an odd duck! I’m not an artist, but I’m very artistic. —Jim Saksa

c i t y pa p e r . n e t | F e b r u a r y 2 6 - M a r c h 4 , 2 0 1 5 | p h i l a d e l p h i a c i t y pa p e r |

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artsmusicmoviesmayhem

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curtaincall By Mark Cofta

wIlde and whITman Their exchange fascinates in other ways. ➤ LocaL pLaywright MichaeL whist­ Ler adds to the list of plays about Oscar Wilde

with Mickle Street, his lively imagining of the 1882 meeting between young sensation Wilde and semiretired poet Walt Whitman in the latter’s Camden home. Whistler keeps both Whitman and the audience guessing about why Wilde visited Whitman early in his yearlong American tour. Director Greg Wood emphasizes intimacy on Andrew Thompson’s set, which wraps the audience around so closely that the front row sits on the stage in period furniture. Buck Schirner makes a welcome return to local theater as Whitman, a white-bearded, gruff and randy old coot tended to by Mary (Sabrina Profitt), who proves more than a servant. Daniel Frederick’s Wildean flamboyance soon falls away in this “democratic” household, where English standards of tidiness and formality don’t apply. All three are compelling, layered characters with rich moments of vulnerability. They debate art and science, with Wilde extolling beauty and Whitman dismissing Wilde’s successful talks as “decorating advice.” Their exchange lacks heat but fascinates in other ways, particularly when the subject shifts to “the sin so vile it is not spoken by Christians.” In 1882, Wilde was presumably aware of his homosexuality but, of course, had to hide it for legal and social reasons. His American tour occurred long before his prosecution for sodomy and gross indecency. Whistler’s play builds to an intriguing understanding between the men. Whistler adds a few references to Wilde’s famous works yet to come, suggesting that Whitman planted seeds for The Portrait of Dorian Gray and The Importance of Being Earnest, which just add a twinkle of “what if?” to the speculation about what occurred at Mickle Street. (m_cofta@citypaper.net) ✚ Through March 8, $30-$40, Walnut Street Theatre

Independence Studio on 3, 825 Walnut St., 215-5743550, walnutstreettheatre.org. 12 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

JUST HANGIN’ OUT: Illusionist Andrew Basso during an escape act in The Illusionists: Witness the Impossible, through Sunday at the Academy of Music. the illusionists

[ abracadabra ]

IT’S TRICKY Is magic ready for a reappearing act in Philly? By Alex Marcus

I

n 2015, it’s easy to forget about magic. David blaine-types have left the limelight, and network TV’s magic craze has faded into tired basic cable offerings. In Philly, one magic theater disappeared entirely last year, and another relocated to a smaller space. but then, The Illusionists: Witness the Impossible comes along and nearly sells out the 2,500-seat academy of music for six nights. Does the public want more magic than it’s getting? after watching andrew basso, one of the seven Illusionists, performing magic to promote the show in macy’s yawning atrium recently, it doesn’t immediately seem so. basso’s specialty is escape, but here, he wanders around with a deck of cards. most shoppers snicker and walk past. Local illusionist Dan hauss knows this struggle. “The typical magician isn’t necessarily good,” he admits. hauss is slight and quiet. basso, by contrast, is a natural center of attention. both have seen their share of bad magic. “People call themselves professionals when they are amateurs,” basso laments. and with no certification required for someone to call himself a magician, it’s especially easy for hacks to give the craft a bad name.

f e b r u a r y 2 6 - m a r c h 4 , 2 0 1 5 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

That ease might explain the magician-as-punchline trope. even in basso’s native Italy, he says this stereotype is common, with schmaltzy, out-of-touch characters like Arrested Development’s Gob bluth representing his peers. but both maintain that negative stereotypes are rooted in quality more than style. “If you put a lot of effort in your art and master what you do, people can tell the difference,” basso says. back at macy’s, he’s proving that. a family is amazed when a coin vanishes from his hand and appears in Dad’s; a real crowd gathers. With strong sales and an indevelopment TV project, The Illusionists seem poised to get people interested again. “There’s so much potential here,” hauss says of Philly, citing local luminaries like francis menotti and Peter Pitchford. an uptick may be imminent; South Street magic Theatre, where hauss performs, has seen more sellouts in recent months, and after thousands see basso and his crew this week, things will likely only get brighter — no abracadabra necessary. (editorial@citypaper.net)

“The typical magician isn’t necessarily good.”

✚ The Illusionists: Witness the Impossible, through Sun., March 1, $20-$115.50,

Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St., 215-893-1999, kimmelcenter.org. Dan Hauss, Fridays, 8 p.m., $15, South Street Magic Theatre, 617 E. Passyunk Ave., 215-450-7193, southstreetmagic.com.

COLLECTEDSTORIES WRITTEN BY

DONALD MARGULIES

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c i t y pa p e r . n e t | f e b r u a r y 2 6 - m a r c h 4 , 2 0 1 5 | p h i l a d e l p h i a c i t y pa p e r |

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movie

shorts

Films are graded by City PaPer critics a-F.

Zero Motivation

: New A girl wAlks home AloNe At Night| c+

T ADOP

ME

CODY! 2 YEARS OLD

Cody, a 2-year-old male who was found as a stray. I’ve got a big personality and am very affectionate: I even like to ride around on people’s shoulders! Please give me a home!

Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch.

PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, & microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

14 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

F e B R u A R y 2 6 - M A R C H 4 , 2 0 1 5 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

If Jim Jarmusch had made Only Lovers Left Alive a quarter-century earlier, it would have looked a lot like A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night. Both are languorous portraits of stylish, world-weary vampires, but where Jarmusch’s creations are Romantic aesthetes, Ana Lily Amirpour’s film is populated by preening, affectless hipsters shot in the lustrously grimy black and white of Jarmusch’s early work. Amirpour’s debut feature is a feminist Iranian Western vampire noir, and if it’s undoubtedly the first of its kind, it nonetheless feels pieced together from familiar components, as indebted to 80s indie film as the synth-pop that her bloodsucker listens to is to that music. There’s little in the way of story: Set in an Eraserhead industrial ghost town called Bad City, a chador-clad young woman (Sheila Vand) doles out vigilante justice with her fangs. She strikes up an unlikely romance with Arash (Arash Marandi), the son of a junkie. With its deep, shimmering darkness and morphinehaze pacing, A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night is occasionally visually stunning, and its soundtrack is hypnotic when not ladling on Morricone references. But it tends to feel like a sheer exercise in style, a straining for surface-level cool that evidences a certain shallow immaturity. Gliding down deserted streets on a skateboard wearing a Jean Sebergstriped shirt with her chador flowing behind her as a Muslim variation on a vampire’s cape, Vand cuts a striking image, but Amirpour’s ideas for the character largely end at the iconographic. That’s true for most of the film’s population, most of whom aren’t as memorable or original as its central figure: There’s the aging junkie, the tattooed drug dealer,

the wounded prostitute — and Arash, who Amirpour has referred to as “The Persian James Dean,” as deep as a dormroom poster. A female Iranian-American filmmaker creating a head-scarf-sporting man-eater promises fresh cultural insight, but Amirpour’s experiences seem largely mired in other people’s movies.—Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse)

Zero motivAtioN | B+ Talya Lavie’s first feature, about life in the Israel Defense Forces, is a millennial ʼM*A*S*H, a deadpan comedy with dark undercurrents that snatch you into the depths without warning. At first, Zohar (Dana Ivgy) and Daffi (Nelly Tagar) seem to be simple slackers, serving out their required twoyear commitment in tedious administrative roles. But then the new comrade they’ve taken for a mildly obsessive flake turns out to be a mentally imbalanced stalker who cuts herself open with a box cutter, spilling blood far from the front lines. Although Daffi dreams of being reassigned — her top three preferences for where to be stationed are Tel Aviv, Tel Aviv and Tel Aviv — Zero Motivation keeps its distance from the Palestinian conflict, a decision that probably plays very differently outside of Israel than within. It’s disorienting to watch a movie about a militarized culture that doesn’t address the reasons for that militarization, but that’s part of the point: Here, even the six million are the subject of an off-color joke. Lavie’s mixture of tones is ambitious for a first-timer, and sometimes unsteady, but rarely are thoughtprovoking movies this funny, or funny movies this thoughtprovoking.—Sam Adams (Ritz at the Bourse) : For more movie reviews and repertory film, head over to

citypaper.net/movies.

events listings@citypaper.net | february 26 - march 4

[ lookin’ for a girl who hates to laugh ]

MIDWINTER NIGHT’S DREAMS: Nightmares on Wax plays Coda tonight.

Events is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/events. if yOu Want tO be liSted: Submit information by email (listings@ citypaper.net) or enter it yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

2.26

thursday [ electronic ]

Nightmares oN Wax $17 | Thu., Feb. 26, 8:30 p.m., with Arms and Sleepers, Coda, 1712 Walnut St., 215-735-6700, codaphilly.com. for grooves upon grooves, see Nightmares on Wax. Warp records veteran and trip-hop pioneer George evelyn has been drawing from the best

of dance and hip-hop since the late ’80s. his most recent release, Feelin’ Good, fulfills the expectations of its title in the funkiest of ways. Show up early tonight for an exquisitely layered, meditative set from boston electronic duo arms and Sleepers. —Sam Fox

[ theater ]

the greeN Bird $10 | Thu.-Sun., Feb. 26-March 1, Caplan Studio Theater, University of the Arts, 211 S. Broad St., 215-7176450, tickets.uarts.edu. Director aaron cromie, along with uarts ’14 grad Josh campbell, are producing their adaptation of carlo Gozzi’s 18th-century commedia dell’arte fairy tale. an evil mother-in-law has buried her daughter-in-law, the queen, under the royal toilets, and tries to have her twin grandchildren replaced by puppies. however, a magical green bird intervenes

in a most fantastical way. —Mark Cofta

2.27 friday

[ rock/pop ]

screamiNg Females $12-$14 | Fri., Feb. 27, 8 p.m., with Priests, Tenement and Vacation, First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., 877-435-9849, r5productions.com. Let’s take it as a sign of love (and not a hookup of convenience) that dirty Jerz punk trio Screaming females chose Philly to host the album-release party for their killer new record Rose Mountain (Don Giovanni). These songs are catchier and tighter, with more cutting hooks and a bit fewer blunt-force rock riffs. and, of course, singer-guitarist marissa Paternoster is without a damn doubt the most

exhilarating shredder in the game today. Philly’s own. Sort of. —Patrick Rapa

[ hip-hop ]

aesop rock $17-$19 | Fri., Feb. 27, 9 p.m., with Rob Sonic, DJ Abilities, Homeboy Sandman and Grimace Federation, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, utphilly.com. Last year, graphic designer matt Daniels created an infographic that illustrated vocabulary size among hip-hop artists. as you might expect, language dork aesop rock’s unique word count was off the chart — even exceeding that of Moby-Dick. but quantifying Ian bavitz into a number may diminish the aesop rock brand just a bit: Let’s not forget the 45-minute instrumental Nike+iPod collab, the Nikki Giovanni shout-out or his appearance in the children’s book Hip Hop Speaks to Children. —Marc Snitzer

[ jazz ]

christiaN mcBride trio $30 | Fri.-Sat., Feb. 27-28, 8 and 10 p.m., Chris’ Jazz Café, 1421 Sansom St., 215-568-3131, chrisjazzcafe.com. Philly native christian mcbride has long been considered jazz royalty, known as the music’s most in-demand and accomplished bassist and a torchbearer for jazz in its many guises. until recently, though, his success as a bandleader rarely measured up to his sideman prowess. With the formation of this trio with pianist christian Sands and drummer ulysses Owens Jr., he’s finally found a group that can keep up with his own athletic imagination. —Shaun Brady

[ classical ]

NetWork For NeW music $30 | Fri., Feb. 27, 6 p.m., Barnes Foundation, 2025 Benjamin Franklin

Parkway, 215-278-7200, networkfornewmusic.org, barnesfoundation.org. The barnes foundation is not only filled with great art, it also has an excellent hall for performances. Network for New music will be taking advantage of all of these assets with a program of compositions inspired by art or architecture, including work by artists and architects associated with the barnes. The composers are Jeremy Gill, Stephen hartke, Louis Karchin, William Kraft and Kristin Kuster. concertgoers will also have access to the famous galleries. —Peter Burwasser

[ dance ]

rocco $29 ($50 with dinner) | Fri.-Sat., Feb. 27-28, 8 p.m., Fringe Arts, 140 N. Columbus Blvd., 215-413-1318, fringearts.com. muhammad ali bragged how he could float like a butterfly

c i t y pa p e r . n e t | f e b r u a r y 2 6 - m a r c h 4 , 2 0 1 5 | p h i l a d e l p h i a c i t y pa p e r |

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attraction, it’s an intense work that packs one hell of a punch. —Deni Kasrel

[ rock/pop/tribute ]

The Musical Box $39.50-$49.50 | Fri.-Sat., Feb. 27-28, 8 p.m., Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., 215-5727650, keswicktheatre.com. The term “tribute band,� not unjustifiably, tends to cause an instinctual cringe, conjuring images of middle-aged bar bands

'3*

playing dress-up. but when it’s done right, as exemplified by the musical box, a tribute band can recreate a live experience otherwise unavailable to an audience that missed out the first time around. The frenchcanadian band recreates the Peter Gabriel-era Genesis live experience with note-perfect renditions and surreal theatrics that disappeared when the band became mTV’s court jesters. —Shaun Brady

2.28

saturday '3*

[ klezmer ]

FaBulous shpielkes $10 | Sat., Feb. 28, 7 p.m., Mt. Airy Arts Garage, 11 W. Mt. Airy Ave., 215-247-1300, pfs.org.

4"5

elaine hoffman Watts says her klezmer group The fabulous Shpielkes is keeping tradition alive. In the same breath, she promises, “We are going to rock the place.� Watts goes on to brag about her trumpet-playing daughter Susan’s “knockout voice.� Speaking of herself: “When I sit down behind the drums, I’m 18 again.� Let this be your early Purim party. bring your own mashke and your dancing shoes. —Mary Armstrong

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NOW OPEN!!

[ events ]

3.2

monday [ rock/pop ]

hundred WaTers $13-$15 | Mon., March 2, 8:30 p.m., with Mitski, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-2322100, utphilly.com. These Gainesville rockers get their name from austrian architect friedensreich hundertwasser, whose boldly colorful and environmentally minded buildings defy the stuffy grandiloquence of his native JacqueLIne VerduGO

and sting like a bee, and that same spirit lives on in Rocco, a rousing show of combat choreography created by emio Greco and Pieter c. Scholten. Just like real boxing, the setup is pure theater — there’s a boxing ring with the audience seated all around. The combatants are ballet-trained men who bob, weave, spin and jab as they try to knock each other out cold. Their timing and body control are impeccable. Towing a thin line between aggression and

Vienna in much the same way their music sticks out from the context of circa 2015 “indie rock� — and, certainly, from the typical purview of their label boss, Skrillex. Last year’s sophomore set The Moon Rang Like a Bell (OWSLa) is all rounded edges and dreamy

pastel textures, mystical post-classical pop forged at the intersection of polished instrumentalism and subdued but sprightly electronics. —K. Ross Hoffman

3.3

tuesday [ reading/signing ]

RichaRd PRice Free | Tue., March 3, 7:30 p.m., Central Branch, Free Library of Philadelphia, 1901 Vine St., 215567-4341, freelibrary.org. fast-talking, wise-and-weary New yorker richard Price writes in an elegantly brusque fashion, just like how he speaks. There’s the sinewy richness of nasally elongated vowels, the brooding patois of the bronx and brooklyn before gentrification, a love for the dirt under every blue-collar-worker’s nails and the effortless slang in each note of Price’s novels, like Clock-

ers and Lush Life. It doesn’t matter that, in Price’s newest work, The Whites (henry holt), he insists on crediting “harry brandt” (or, as it reads on its jacket, “richard Price writing as harry brandt”). The dressing-down of a Nyc cop after an accidental shooting, the macho bullheadedness of jaded detectives, the lonely drudgery of dull nights suddenly made propulsive by new scandals touched by past grievances: The Whites is classic Price, and this library conversation — with Philly crime author George anastasia yet — should prove to be tasty. —A.D. Amorosi

3.4

[ events ]

N. American St., 215-592-9560, 1812Productions.org. So beloved is Jennifer childs’ hilariously spunky South Philly persona Patsy, who imparts wisdom from her Shunk Street stoop wearing pink eagles garb, that she appears in every incarnation of 1812 Production’s annual news satire This Is the Week That Is. by popular demand she makes other appearances, such as this “north of Snyder” bingo night. all six shows are reportedly sold out, but South Philly natives know it’s all about who you know. —Mark Cofta

wednesday [ theater ]

Bingo night with Patsy $25 | Wed.-Sun., March 4-8, 1812 Productions at Christ Church Neighborhood House, 20

more

citypaper.net/events

Enter to win tickets at CITYPAPER.NET/WIN

APRIL 30 TROCADERO THEATRE 1003 ARCH ST PHILADELPHIA, PA 215.922.6888 THETROC.COM TICKET FLY.COM TROCADERO BOX OFFICE c i t y pa p e r . n e t | f e b r u a r y 2 6 - m a r c h 4 , 2 0 1 5 | p h i l a d e l p h i a c i t y pa p e r |

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foodanddrink

miseenplace By Adam Erace 22 26

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SQUaRE ROOTS 34

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SQUARE PIE | 600 Catherine St., 215-238-0615,

squarepiephilly.com. Tue.-Sat., lunch, 11 a.m.-2 p.m; dinner, 5-9 p.m. Appetizers, $11-$12; pizza, $9-$17; pasta, $11-$18; sides, $4-$6. ➤ SIx Hundred CatHerIne Street was a

special address. For several years, this Bella Vista corner hosted the original iterations of Little Fish, a neighborhood darling wedged improbably into a sardine can. Seems like forever ago, doesn’t it? Little Fish now lives a few blocks away under the direction of Chad Jenkins. In 2012, Gene and Amy Giuffi, of long-running Cochon across the street, took over the building and turned it into Blue Belly BBQ. Faced with mounting food costs, the couple decided to re-concept, and in October it became Square Pie, a Sicilian-style pizzeria inspired by Giuffi’s Brooklyn upbringing. “I started in pizza before culinary school and have always wanted to return to it in some way,” Giuffi explains.“I didn’t think Sicilian pizza as being properly represented in Philadelphia,so I decided to go that route … instead of offering both [Sicilian and Neapolitan] styles, so that people would give it a shot.” This pizza gives you a shot, all right — right to every taste receptor in your mug. Built on 72-hourfermented dough cooked in age-blackened square pans, Giuffi’s pies rise to twice standard focaccia height. The bottom and perimeter are crusty, while the inside is springy and chewy with an airy crumb that gives the slices a surprising lightness. I tried two of the seven pies: a classic, layered with mozzarella and marinara, and the pancetta, with unruly nuggets of cured pork tumbling around a topography of thinly sliced potato, caramelized leeks, mozzarella and cream. If there’s a criticism, it’s that the sauces are not always spread far enough to the edges, leaving unbalanced stretches of naked crust. Fortunately, the crust is so delicious — the flavor is a ringer for buttered bread — it is not the worst thing in the world. Other non-pizza options round out the menu, like fat, crispy arancini that get their intensity from cooking the rice in prosciutto stock; homey wine-braised beef “brasato” blended with Sunday gravy and a choice of pasta; and Berkshire sausage over creamy polenta. From Cochon, we know Giuffi has a way with pork — but who knew he was a closeted pizzaioli as well? Secret’s out. And Square Pie is in. (adam.erace@citypaper.net) 18 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

ROLLING DEEP: Housemade corn tortillas set a plate of rolled tacos apart at Café Canela. hillary Petrozziello

[ open season ]

SOUTHERN EXPOSURE A new crop of under-the-radar openings brings regional Mexican, Indonesian and Cambodian flavors to deep South Philly. By Caroline Russock

I

n the past few years the city has seen a staggering number of openings, with forward-thinking kitchens filling niches left and right with high-end hummus, reimagined dim sum and mind-blowing tasting menus. but a little further south and off the beaten path, a new crop of restaurants have opened in deep South Philly specializing in lesser-known cuisines that are happily finding a place in the city’s ever-expanding dining scene. Here’s a look at a trio of ethnic options that recently opened south of Washington avenue.

➤ Café Canela Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-9 p.m; Sat.-Sun., 10 a.m-10

draw is rosa Navarro’s daily specials. On any given day, you can get a plate of braised pig’s feet with onions and peppers, handmade tamales or, if you’re really lucky, albondigas — Mexican meatballs stuffed with a hard-cooked egg in a rich tomato sauce. Daily specials are $6 and come on a plate spilling over with beans, rice, tomato-and-avocado salad and a basket of tortillas, corn or flour, made to order in-house. Navarro is proud of her cooking, forgoing processed ingredients in favor of fresh vegetables and herbs, making for plates that are hearty and fresh but satisfying in the way of a home kitchen rather than a restaurant. The serve yourself salsa bar allows guests to play with the heat levels and garnish with fresh limes and oniony escabeche. While the weather is still bone-chilling, it’s worth stopping in for a cup of arroz con leche scented with Mexican chocolate, avena (a creamy cinnamon oat drink) or café de olla, a sweet black coffee with cinnamon.

REAd moRE citypaper.net/ mealticket

p.m. 2201 S. Seventh St., 215-755-1685.

➤ I Heart CambodIa Mon.-Thu., 9 a.m.-8 p.m.; Fri.-Sun., 9 a.m.9 p.m. 2207-2209 S. Seventh St., 215-755-2728.

With roots in both atlanta and just south of the Mexico-Texas border, the Navarro family specializes in a regional style of home cooking not often found in Philadelphia. The chalkboard menu at Café Canela advertises tacos, tortas and burritos, but the real

South Philly has no shortage of Southeast asian options, but until I Heart Cambodia opened back in December, Khmer Kitchen was the only spot to experience the fresh and refresh-

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>>> continued on adjacet page

[ food & drink ]

✚ Southern Exposure <<< continued from previous page

“On any given day, you can get a plate of braised pig’s feet.� ingly hot cooking Cambodia is known for. Decorated with twinkling Christmas lights and psychedelic paintings of Cambodian landscapes, the airy dining room is filled with diners and families enjoying herb-forward plates and bowls from the Khmer menu. even if you haven’t had the pleasure of eating your way around Phnom Penh, you should be able to handle the menu, as it annotates each dish with a detailed description of the ingredients that go into it. ask the helpful server who brings a complementary cup of sweet almond-scented tea to steer you towards his or her favorites. I took a recommendation to try prahok ktis, a little dish of ground pork cooked with coconut milk, kaffir lime leaves and lemongrass served with a crudite of raw cabbage, baby green eggplants and lacy slices of cucumber. you could share the samlor machu kreung, a soup of beef ribs with celery, eggplant and kroeung, a pounded paste of herbs and spices or go for the show-stopping thray chean choun, a whole fried tilapia topped with ginger, sweet peppers and scallions in a sweet-and-sour tamarind sauce. The spice level at I Heart Cambodia ranges from slow burn to wildfire. It’s the kind of cuisine that calls out for a pint or two of crisp lager; fortunately, a liquor license is in the works.

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➤ Ramayana Daily noon-8 p.m. 1740 S. 11th St., 267-

815-4033. Just off a bustling stretch of Passyunk avenue, ramayana is a sunny lime-green operation with seating for just about 10 and an intriguing steam table full of bright, homemade Indonesian flavors. The neon paper signs on the glass of that table might not match up to the day’s offerings, but the friendly ladies behind the counter are more than happy to walk you through what’s really there. Their first question might be whether you’re vegan or vegetarian (there are so many soybased staples in Indonesian cooking), and they’re proud of their meatless dishes, including TTP, sautÊed tofu and tempeh with sator, an earthy green bean that shows up in many of ramayana’s dishes. Tofu also pops up on the nasi putih combo plates, fried crisp, tinged with turmeric and creamy on the inside and golden outside. Seafoods are well represented with inky little braised squid and a meaty mackerel dish that’s heavy on both the chile and mackerel’s distinct oiliness. rendang is a bellwether Indonesian dish and ramayana’s take is fantastic, braised tender with little chunks of fat simmering in a cinnamon-and-ginger heavy gravy, not mind-blowingly spicy, but that’s what the side of chilesweet sambal is for. (caroline@citypaper.net) c i t y pa p e r . n e t | f e b r u a r y 2 6 - M a r C H 4 , 2 0 1 5 | p h i l a d e l p h i a c i t y pa p e r |

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jonesin’

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By Matt Jones

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“solve like A PirAte” — AnD sounD like one, too.

SIMPATICO THEATRE PROJECT

presents

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✚ ©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

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CAR, TRUCK, SUV, RV, BOAT Sell it in our classifieds. Call today at

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Homes for Rent Browns Mills 3BR, 2BA Rancher. Exc cond. $1275/mo. + 1½ month security deposit. No pets. Credit Æ to be done. 609-893-8887 Levittown 4BR 2BA Kenwood Section $1500/mo. Call 267-968-8134

Call 609-586-3225 today for your free quote!!

Pet and Supplies Pets for Sale

Levittown/Bristol Boro. 3BR & 4BR avail. With appliances. $1300-$1450/mo. 215-579-1773

MAR 24 - APR 5

Office Rentals Bristol PA - Office Space to Share, Private office space as low as $350 per month. Call 215-620-7618

2014 2015 SEASON

Commercial for Rent Lansdale Auto Detail Shop/Business for lease. 30+ yr track record. Oppty to operate successful profitable business. For interview appt send name & phone # or email to: jcnpcw@yahoo.com

BROADWAY PHILADELPHIA is presented collaboratively by the Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts and the Shubert Organization.

@KIMMELCENTER #BWYPHL

Disclaimer:Â NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. One entry per person or address. Winners will be chosen at random. Two tickets to a Broadway Philadelphia Production per each winner. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. Void where prohibited by law. Participating sponsors, their employees and family members and their agencies are not eligible.

German Shepherd Puppies. AKC out of champion lines. Vet checked, wormed & shots. 267-784-2481

KIMMELCENTER.ORG C i t y PA P e R . N e t | F e b r u a r y 2 6 - m a r c h 4 , 2 0 1 5 | P H i L A D e L P H i A C i t y PA P e R |

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Photo by Alwin Poiana

Rocco

ICKamsterdam (Netherlands) (Emio Greco | Pieter C. Scholten) On a stage transformed into a boxing ring with audience seating on four sides, male fighter-dancers perform a virtuosic display of close combat-choreography.

Fri, Feb 27 at 8pm Tickets: $29 Sat, Feb 28 at 8pm Members save 30% FringeArts.com 215.413.1318

24 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

f e b r u a r y 2 6 - M a r c h 4 , 2 0 1 5 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

THEATER | RESTAURANT | BAR | BEER GARDEN | LATE NIGHT 140 N Columbus Blvd (at Race St)

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