Vol: 7 Issue: 2
Toba 1728 / Feb 2013
Friendship By: St John Chrysostom “A faithful friend is an elixir of life… A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter” (Ecc 6: 14,16). For what would a genuine friend not do? what pleasure would he not create for us? what benefit? what safety? Though you were to name a thousand treasures, there is nothing comparable to a real friend. First let us say how much pleasure friendship brings. A friend is bright with joy, and overflows when he sees his friend. He is united to him in a union having a certain ineffable pleasure of the soul. If he merely thinks of him, he rises and is carried upwards in his mind. I speak of genuine friends, who are of one accord, of those who would choose to die for their friends, of those who love warmly. Do not imagine that you can refute what I say with the example of those who love lightly, or who are sharers of your table', (Ecc 6:10), or with whom you have a nodding acquaintance. If any one has a friend such as I describe, he will understand my words; and, though he should see his friend every day, it is not often enough for him. He makes the same prayers for his friend as for himself. I know a certain man, who, when asking for the prayers of a holy man on behalf of his friend, asks him to pray first for the friend and then for himself. It is not possible to express in language the pleasure which the presence of friends causes, but only those who have experienced it know. One can ask a favour, and receive a favour, from a friend without suspicion. When they make a request of us, we are grateful to them; but when they are slow to ask, then we are sad. We have nothing which is not theirs. Often, though despising all earthly things, nevertheless, on their account, we do not wish to depart from this life;
and they are more desirable to us than the light. Yes, indeed, a friend is more desirable than the light itself. (I speak of the genuine friend.) And do not object; for it would be better for us for the sun to be extinguished than to be deprived of friends. It would be better to live in darkness than to be without friends. And how can I say this? Because many who see the sun are in darkness. But those who are rich in friends could never be in tribulation. I speak of the spiritual friends who set nothing above friendship. Such was Paul, who would willingly have given his own soul, without having been asked, and would have willingly fallen into Hell for his brethren (Rom 9:3). With so burning an affection is it proper to love. Take this as an example of friendship. Friends surpass fathers and sons, that is, friends according to Christ. To have a friend is to have another self; it is concord and harmony, which nothing can equal. In this, one is the equivalent of many. For if two, or ten, are united, none of them is merely one any longer, but each of them has the ability and value of ten; and you will find the one in the ten, and the ten in the one. If they have an enemy, attacking not one, but ten, he is defeated, for he is struck, not by one, but by ten . Has one fallen into want? Still he is not desolate; for he prospers in his greater part; that is to say in the nine, and the needy part is protected; that is, the smaller part by that which prospers. Each one of them has twenty hands, and twenty eyes, and as many feet. For he sees not with his own eyes alone, but with those of others; he walks not with his own feet, but with those of others; he works not with his own hands, but with those of others. He has ten souls, for he alone is not concerned about himself, but those other nine souls are concerned about him. And if they are a hundred, the same thing will take place again, power will be increased. See the excellence of godly love! How it causes one individual to be unconquerable and equal to many. What about monks, then, one might ask, and those who live as hermits on tops of mountains? They are not without friends. They have fled from the tumult of the marketplace, but they have many of one accord with them, and are closely bound to each other in Christ. And it was in order that they might accomplish this that they withdrew. For, since the zeal of business leads to many disputes, they have left the world to cultivate godly love with great strictness. The sceptic then might say: What? If a man is alone, may he also have friends? I, indeed, would wish, if it were possible, that we were all able to live together; but, in the meantime, let friendship remain unmoved. For it is not the place that makes the friend. Furthermore, the monks have many who admire them; but no one would admire unless they loved. Also, the monks pray for the entire world, which is the greatest evidence of friendship. For the same reason we embrace each other in the Divine Liturgy; in order that being many, we may become one. And we make common prayer for the uninitiated, for the sick, for the fruits of the earth, and for travellers by land and by sea. Behold the strength of love in the prayers, in the holy mysteries, in the preaching. This is the cause of all good things. If we apply ourselves with due care to these precepts, we shall both administer present things well and obtain the Kingdom.
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Different youth groups during the Kiahk vigils
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Friendship By H.G. Bishop Suriel Friendship is a vital part of young people's lives today. They cannot do without their friends. They would feel so threatened if they lost their friends. It is a natural part of growing up. So, it is a human need. Rarely do we find someone who does not have a couple of friends, especially in the teenage years. So who are my true friends then? This is what we want to concentrate on. There is a nice saying which says, "tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are." Your friends reveal you, and your personality. A true friend is one that gives and not takes. Good friends challenge each other to goodness. A true friend shows continual loyalty as was the case with David and Jonathan in the Old Testament. Jonathan helped him even at the cost of Saul's anger and Jonathan's own claim to the throne (1 Samuel 18:1 - 23:1S-18). True Friends are also willing to sacrifice and persevere with each other, "Greater love has no one than this than to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13) Even if their friends do something wrong, they are willing to forgive them, lead them to repentance, and teach them in humility what is right, without hurting their feelings. Our Lord goes to the stage of laying down His life for his friends on the cross. He also said to His disciples, "I will no longer call you slaves but friends." Barnabas was a faithful friend to the apostle Paul and was there to sponsor him when the early Church held St. Paul in suspicion. The faithful friendships between these people in the Scriptures brought blessings beyond measure. Barnabas launched St. Paul into a ministry that spread the gospel through the Roman Empire. Let us look at some verses in the Bible that speak about friendship. "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed" (Proverbs 13:20). So, wisdom comes from speaking and dealing with people who possess wisdom, but if you deal with foolish people, they will lead you to death and destruction. They can totally destroy your life. "A friend loves at all times" (Proverbs 17:17) So, love is a vital part of a true friendship, and as we said that true love or friendship is the one that gives and not takes." Listen to some advice from His Holiness Pope Shenouda III: "Do not seek what people have, they will love you. Do not make others feel that you are their rival who wants to take what they possess or what they are trying to obtain. Endure others' weaknesses and win them by your patience, forgiveness and open heartedness. Praise others and make them aware of your appreciation. Make them feel that you know their good deeds and admire them. Respect others and treat them politely...work for building people, not destroying them. Understand people and help them to understand you, quietly and with a good spirit. By doing this, you'll be able to live with them in mutual understanding, love and peace. Share in people's joys and sorrows. 'Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep' (Rom. 12:15). Do not miss a chance to comfort people's hearts." Truly golden words, that we need to consider and live by. Yes, true friends must always be there for each other. Page 4
Youth from different churches
Youth group from QLD with Fr Moussa el Antouni spending a retreat at the monastery
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Tales of Monastic Companionship in Early Byzantium By: Derek Krueger The practices of monastic companionship and cohabitation described in the Spiritual Meadow had emerged long before the late sixth century. The practice of cohabiting monks first developed in the course of the fourth century, in the early years of the Christian monastic movement in Egypt. One of the earliest Christian saint’s lives, Athanasios’s Life of Antony, includes the story that after this great founder of the monastic life emerged from living in a tomb on the outskirts of his native village at about age thirty-five, he approached an older ascetic and “asked him to dwell with him in the wilderness.” The elder declined “because of his advanced age and because this practice was not yet the custom.” Only then did Antony set out alone. Athanasios’s remark indicates that already by the time he was writing in the 350s, monastic cohabitation had become one of a variety of styles of monastic life. Antony’s politely refused request might even have had the effect of licensing such an arrangement for those hearing Athanasios’s text. A variety of evidence from the mid-fourth century on, attests monks living in pairs, particularly in the Christian East. Moreover, the literature of monasticism in late antiquity provides ample evidence for the idealization of monastic companions, where they frequently became vehicles for portraying key monastic virtues. The various collections of early Egyptian monastic wisdom known as the Apophthegmata patrum relate anecdotes about fourth and fifth-century monks but were redacted and disseminated in the late fifth and early sixth centuries, probably in Palestine. They provide access to literary and oral traditions that would have been familiar to Moschos and his readers. The section “On Charity” in the Anonymous Series of the Apophthegmata includes stories of monks living together in the Egyptian desert intended to articulate Christian ideals of love. In one account “two old men who had lived together for many years” attempted and failed to have a fight even when they placed a brick between them; neither claimed it as his own, and they were thus “unable to find an occasion for argument.” An additional story from the Anonymous Series’ section “On Lust” confirms the risks that envisioning monks together might entail and provides a counterpoint to the vision of Stephen the Cappadocian. The demon Lust (Porneia) was one of the eight evil thoughts or “passions” that regularly attacked monks in the wilderness and against which they engaged in spiritual combat. While nearly all the surviving accounts of monastic cohabitation tell of men, a
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chapter in Theodoret of Cyrrhus’s Religious History, a work of the 440s, confirms that women also could exhibit an ideal pattern of paired celibates. He related the story of his contemporaries Marana and Cyra, two natives of Berroia (modern Aleppo) in Syria. Living in a domestic compound outside of the city, the women had closed up the gate with clay and stones. Marana and Cyra “embraced the open-air life” with “neither house nor hut.” Marana alone spoke when, during the season of Pentecost, many women came to see them and conversed with them through a small window in the gate. For forty-two years they lived there, wearing elaborate iron weights and practicing rigorous and prolonged fasts. During this time they “contemplated the beauty of the Bridegroom. the Beloved.” (Once they went on pilgrimage to Jerusalem together, eating nothing on the way there or back but only while in the city. And they made a similar fasting journey to the shrine of Saint Thecla in Isauria.) Theodoret, who presented them as models for other women, concluded that “divine yearning had driven them to frenzy . . . and divine love for the Bridegroom had driven them mad.” A different sort of yearning received investigation in stories where one brother in a monastic pair left his companion, a theme present in monastic literature long before the tearful parting of Symeon the Fool and John. The theme of the departing brother featured in two paired anecdotes in the section “On Lust” in the Systematic Collection of the Apophthegmata patrum. In one story a monk complained to an elder, “My brother leaves me and goes away hither and yon, and I am distressed.” The elder counseled him: “Bear with him, brother, and God, seeing the suffering of your patient endurance, will return him to you.” And in the second anecdote one of two brothers in the Thebaid region of Egypt came under the influence of the demon of fornication and decided to leave his companion to return to the world. His companion would not allow him to go alone and on the advice of an elder determined to accompany his brother so that God, “for the sake of his suffering,” would not allow his companion to fall. And indeed, when he followed him, God saw the “suffering of his love” and “he won the war against his brother.” In both cases the saying reinforced the value of patient endurance of the wayward brother. A commitment to abide with each other remained implicit. The literary function of these narratives of shared ascetic practice conforms to the broader aims of early Christian hagiographic literature, presenting models for emulation and reverence. These stories both illustrated and encouraged the virtues of love, chastity, fidelity, patience, and endurance. In valorising a shared ascetic life, they offered Christian models for friendship and mutual responsibility. Between Monks: Tales of Monastic Companionship in Early Byzantium
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No C HRISTIAN L IVING S ERIES w Av aila ble V OLUMES 1 & 2 The four volumes of the Christian Living Series are the fruit of a catechism class that the late bishop Youanis used to teach to university students who came to Cairo from other states to study. The Chapters of these volumes have been a hand book for many Christians who are pursuing their spiritual path and a source of direction to many over the last fifty years, now we present it to you in the English language. The Arabic edition of this book is originally titled “The Paradise of the Spirit� and contained more chapters yet we decided to bring you most of the chapters that were included in the original book and rearrange some of them for the spiritual benefit of the English readers. We would love to give a special thanks to those who laboured in the translation and proof reading of this book, who asked to remain anonymous. May the Lord reward them for their labour of love. This first volume deals with two of the church sacraments, Confession and Communion. Their meaning, practical applications, fruits, and other related questions are discussed in this volume. Volume two, Spiritual Concepts, explains some of the Christian concepts that are often misunderstood. Chapters include: Humility, Pride, Dignity, the Narrow gate, and the Life of submission.
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