PP issue 9

PINK PARENTING

THE world’s No.1 LGBT PARENTING Magazine

www.pink-parenting.com TWITTER # pinkparenting

issue 09 MAY/JUNE 2013 £3.95 09

The stories, science and all things parenting for the modern family!!

WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

ISSUE 09

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ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: CARRY ON GLAMPINg i SLEEP SENSE i FOSTERING i ANNABEL KARMEL i ASK THE DOCTOR

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Our Our Our Insights Insights Insights ••Diagnosis Diagnosis • Diagnosis &&Treatment Treatment & Treatment ••Egg Egg • Egg Donation Donation Donation ••Gestational Gestational • Gestational Surrogacy Surrogacy Surrogacy ••Gender Gender • Gender Selection Selection Selection ••Counseling Counseling • Counseling &&Wellness Wellness & Wellness ••Same Same • Same Sex Sex Sex Couples Couples Couples

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MAY/JUNE 2013 07 WE LOVE Packed with news, reviews, ideas for gifts, cool gadgets and fantastic gizmos,and also some great ideas for Father’s Day!

14 COVER STORY: ZACHARY QUINTO The latest Hollywood star to declare his desire to have kids. We find out more about the actor, his climb to fame and his LGBT community work.

18 Q&A WITH... ELLY BARNES Elly Barnes explains about eradicating homophobic bullying and her quest to promote ‘Educate and Celebrate’ in schools around the UK.

21 SLEEPING LIKE A BABY Judy Clark, Pink Parenting’s sleep expert, describes the importance of establishing a sleep routine for your newborn, and offers simple tricks to follow.

26 REAL LIFE STORY: MAREK AND ERICA We hear from Marek and Erica, and how Growing Generations helped them achieve their dream of having a family of their very own.

30 FIT KIDZ Child fitness expert, Lucy Miller, shares some top tips on how you can keep your kids fit, healthy and active this summer.

32 CARRY ON GLAMPING We have found five fab and unique locations around the UK for you and the kids, guaranteed to put the glamour back into camping.

40 AFoster PORTRAIT OF FOSTER CARERS carers Sam and Helen offer us an insight into the process of foster caring, the processes and how you can get involved.

45 SUMMERTIME TREATS Annabel Karmel treats us to some of her delicious recipes, perfect for that family picnic in the coming summer months.

51 BEHIND THE BRAND: FRUGI We catch up with Kurt Jewson, founder of Frugi, who explains how he started his company, his plans for the future and his personal crusade.

55 YOUR LEGAL QUESTIONS ANSWERED Law firm Finers Stephens Innocent answer more of your parenting related legal questions.

56 ASK THE DOCTOR Dr. Gad Lavy is back to answer your questions and shares some good advice along the way.

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MAY / JUNE 2013 – ISSUE 09

MAY/JUNE 2013 www.pink-parenting.com TWITTER # pinkparenting

PINK PARENTING

THE world’s No.1 LGBT PARENTING Magazine

issue 09 MAY/JUNE 2013 £3.95

09

The stories, science and all

things parenting for the

modern family!!

ISSUE 09

WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: CARRY ON

ING.COM WWW.PINK-PARENT

ANNABEL KARMEL i ASK THE DOCTOR GLAMPINg i SLEEP SENSE i FOSTERING i

Group Publisher Jeff Crockett Managing Editor Giorgio Severi Art Editor Damian Browning Contributors Megan Faure, Louisa Ghevaert, Annabel Karmel, Dr. Mark Leondires, Caroline Kelly, Satwinder Sandhu.

Business Advisor Thomas Taylor Interim Sales Manager Carlo Mendez Freelance Sales Susan Calatayud, Pier Minole Accounts Manager Jennifer Bailey

Welcome to Pink Parenting We are so thrilled to be sharing issue 9 with you, packed with articles, topical issues and the best tips and tricks on all things parenting.

In this issue we find out about Zachary Quinto, the latest Hollywood Hunk to speak out about his desires to start a family, his time as an actor and his work with the LGBT community. Elly Barnes, chats about her quest to stamp out homophobic bullying in schools with the help of her ‘Educate and Celebrate’ program.

PP’s sleep specialist, Judy Clark, explains the importance of establishing a good sleep routine for your children, and Lucy Miller, child fitness expert, offers some great tips and tricks to get your kids active this summer. We hear from Erica and Marek who now have the family they always dreamed about thanks to Growing Generations and finally Dr. Gad Lavy is back answering all your medical related questions.

So with all this and loads more, why not grab yourself a cuppa, sit back, relax and enjoy our magazine. Happy reading!

Team PP

Legal Advisor Samuel & Davies Client Liason Officer Connie Wilson Printed in the UK by The Magazine Printing Company using only paper from FSC/PEFC suppliers. www.magprint.co.uk Advertising Enquiries advertising@pink-parenting.com Contact details: Pink Parenting Magazine Suite 318, Building 50, Argyll Road, London SE18 6PP Tel: 0843 2895844

www.pink-parenting.com

Annabel Karmel

Dr.Gad Lavy

Emma Houghton

Annabel is the UK’s leading child

Dr. Lavy is the medical director and

Emma is the Press Officer for the

nutritionist and best-selling author of

founder of New England Fertility, and is

UK’s leading children’s services

books on feeding babies & children.

an internationally recognised speaker

agency, Core Assets Group. She

Annabel was awarded an MBE in

and author on the topics of infertility,

works as part of a team aiming to

June 2006 for her outstanding work

assisted reproductive technology,

raise the profile of fostering and

in the field of child nutrition.

surrogacy and egg donation.

promote carer recruitment.

Lucy Miller

Judy Clarke

Louisa Ghevaert

Lucy is a personal trainer, children’s

Judy Clark is Founder of BabyWinkz,

Louisa is a expert in fertility and

fitness specialist, nutritionist and

the UK’s First Certified Sleep Sense

parenting law. Her knowledge covers

freelance journalist. She loves

Child Sleep Consultant, helping

international and UK surrogacy,

nothing more than looking after

families get their little ones to sleep

donor conception, co-parenting and

her body and helping others to

by helping parents to devise a plan they

embryo storage. She also regularly

reach their goals too.

are comfortable with and understand.

speaks at UK fertility sector events.

SUBSCRIBE AND SAVE!!

SUBSCRIBE TO PINK PARENTING MAGAZINE AND GET 6 ISSUES FOR JUST £18.95 WITH A GREAT SAVING OF OVER 22%!!

VISIT PINK-PARENTING.COM/ SUBSCRIBE FOR DETAILS!

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©Disney ©Disney. Based on the ‘Winnie the Pooh’ works by A.A.Milne and E.H.Shepard

Healthy snacking for kids from 12 months on

Available from all major supermarkets Hello I’m Annabel Winnie the Pooh & I have searched the hundred acre wood to bring you these tasty & healthy snacks for those little ones with rumblies in their tumblies. The range is naturally yummy, contains no artificial colours or flavours & made using only the finest ingredients so your toddler will have lots of energy for fun filled adventures.

WE L♥VE

THE LATEST NEWS, VIEWS, REVIEWS, GIFTS, GADGETS AND GIZMOS

QUIRKYCHARACTERS QUIRKY

DESIGNED IN FRANCE THE CUTE, QUIRKY, CRAZY AND VERY CONTAGIOUS Deglingos are a group of animals made from a mishmash of super-soft and

cuddly fabrics that will be adored from the moment they enter your little one’s world. When communicating amongst themselves they speak their own language which consists of finishing many words with “os” but with their owners they just want to be loved and held tight. From a not-so-scary wolf to a friendly looking rat and even a slightly skew-whiff hedgehog, there is a Deglingo out there for everyone. Available in a range of collectable characters, the Deglingos are made to be hugged! www.deglingos.com/en, from £24.99

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MAY / JUNE 2013 – ISSUE 09

WE L♥VE

THE LATEST NEWS, VIEWS, REVIEWS, GIFTS, GADGETS AND GIZMOS

STICK WITH IT

COMPLETE WITH MONKEYS, TIGERS, BIRDS, TREES, FLOWERS and much more, these super cute jungle animal stickers,

made from high quality matt vinyl, will definitely add a touch of glamour, a bit of chic or just a cool statement to walls or furniture in any nursery or bathroom, making for a alternative to new wallpaper and are very easy to apply and reposition. www.spincollective.co.uk, £24.00

HUGLESS DOUGLAS

HUGLESS DOUGLAS TELLS THE STORY OF A huggable, lovable young brown bear called

Douglas, who wakes up one morning in need of hug. He goes in search of one but none of them seem to be quite right, too small, too short or too uncomfortable. Of course, there is one hug that will do – a hug from Mummy Bear, so why not take your child on Douglas’s adventures in his search for the perfect hug! www.amazon.co.uk, £5.99

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOUR GIFT, GADGET OR GIZMO FEATURED IN OUR ‘WE LOVE’ SECTION PLEASE CONTACT US AT WELOVE@PINKPARENTING.COM ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

GIZMO of theh mont «

MUSH MASH

FEEL LIKE MIXING IT UP? THIS HANDY SIZED CHOPPER TURNS FRUIT, VEGGIES, and boneless meats into magnificent meals. The great thing about this baby

food blender from Boon, is that there is no need for batteries or plugs, which makes it an essential bit of equipment for when you are on the go or travelling away from home. All you do is pull the handle to make the blades spin, and start whipping up your own baby food. Voilà – dinner is served. www.tomy.co.uk, www.amazon.co.uk, £21.99

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SEE MORE AT WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

SILVER SENSE SUPER SEPARATES

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FOLLOWING THE SUCCESS OF THEIR ORIGINAL nightwear collection, Silver Sense have now

launched their new range of ‘Super Separates’ expertly designed to be just as gorgeous and kind to skin as the previous collection, to ensure that babies and toddlers can enjoy a silver lining 24 hours a day. All the clothing contains pure natural silver, which works wonders on sensitive skin thanks to its healing and antibacterial properties. The design team pay great attention to detail ensuring that all their garments are as soft and child friendly as possible; even the labels are sewn onto the outside to guarantee there is nothing to irritate young skin. www.silversense.co.uk, from £15

MAY / JUNE 2013 – ISSUE 09

WE L♥VE

THE LATEST NEWS, VIEWS, REVIEWS, GIFTS, GADGETS AND GIZMOS

FROGGY FEEDER

DELIVER THOSE MASHED SWEET POTATOES with a friendly little face and watch your baby

get engaged - Feed Me makes eating fun! The spoons come in two cute styles, Frog and Ducky, and are totally kid safe and simple to clean.

MINI IMELDAS

A new survey has revealed that children own more pairs of shoes than their parents. Boys lead the way with no less than nine pairs of sports shoes, whilst girls have a more rounded selection of footwear including ballet/dancing shoes for after-school lessons, however for both boys and girls the favourite shoe in their collections is the trusty Converse trainer.

www.mollieandfred.co.uk, £8.99

A FRUITY LITTLE NUMBER

WITH INCREDIBLE FUNCTIONALITY AND UNBELIEVABLE STYLE, THERE REALLY is nothing like the iCandy Strawberry. With so many exciting features, including the one-hand Step & Stand Fold™ action, a lightweight aluminium chassis and available in four delicious flavours, this pushchair has everything the modern parent could ever need when out and about with their little angel.

www.icandyworld.com/uk

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

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embrace life

WE L♥VE THE LATEST NEWS, VIEWS, REVIEWS, GIFTS, GADGETS AND GIZMOS Revolutionary new non-invasive test that uses intelligent imaging software to measure and help IVF teams predict which embryos will likely grow to the blastocyst stage (day 5-6), a critical milestone in embryo development.

NEW EMBRYO MONITORING TEST AIMS TO INCREASE YOUR CHANCES

F

or couples who are unable to conceive naturally, undergoing a cycle of IVF is often the next step on their path to parenthood, but with only one third of IVF cycles resulting in a live birth, and at a cost of around £5,000, the struggle to become parents, both emotionally and financially, can be a real nightmare.

that will enable them to predict embryo viability at a higher level of accuracy than ever before. Using intelligent computer vision software, Eeva is able to analyse embryo development against scientifically and clinically validated cell-division parameters from video images and then categorizes the embryo as either ‘High’ or ‘Low’, helping the embryologist focus in on the embryos with the highest development potential.

Eeva consists of a special microscope that fits inside a standard incubator, integrating into an existing IVF lab environment and takes video images of the embryos, which are analysed by proprietary, intelligent software. Cultured within a specially-designed petri dish, the embryos are monitored closely by Eeva over a certain period of time.

EMBRYO EVALUATION

Over the past 30 years, fertility researchers have worked tirelessly in an effort to identify which embryo(s) to implant that will ultimately result in a healthy live birth. Unfortunately, human reproduction is not an efficient process and only 15 percent of embryos transferred result in a pregnancy. To achieve high pregnancy rates, multiple embryos are transferred in each cycle to improve the odds of success.

Until now a process known as embryo grading is used to visually determine the quality of embryos during development. Embryo grading is traditionally performed using microscopic observation at set times. This will usually occur once or twice a day so as to minimise the time embryos spend outside of the controlled environment of an incubator. The assessment is based on visual appearance of the embryos such as the number of cells, symmetry of cells and degree of cell fragments. However, embryo grading by nature is subjective and is based on snap-shots of the embryo at selected times.

Once the embryos are graded and selected, the embryo or embryos are transferred back into the womb, with embryos being able to be transferred at different stages of their development.

SCIENCE AND SUCCESS

CRM London is the first fertility clinic in the capital to offer the Eeva Test to patients undergoing IVF, but Auxogyn have also announced that Eeva will be made available to IVF patients in the East of England through Bourn Hall Clinic.

Outside of London, clinics offering Eeva are GCRM in Glasgow, Liverpool’s Hewitt Fertility Centre, Sims IVF in Ireland and Wessex Fertility Centre in Southampton. On the subject of IVF and its new advancement, Charles Kingsland, lead consultant at the Hewitt Fertility Centre, the first to offer Eeva in Europe, said; “We were attracted to Eeva because it is a non-invasive way of selecting embryos for transfer. As it is non-invasive, it can safely be offered to most patients. Ultimately, our goal is to achieve higher pregnancy rates for our patients, and we believe that Eeva will further increase our high success rates. It’s a breakthrough for IVF in that we can continue to increase implantation rates, but without invasive, and very costly, procedures.”

THE FUTURE OF IVF

However, a brand new non-invasive test has just been launched in the UK, called Eeva™ (Early Embryo Viability Assessment) and has been designed by Auxogyn Inc., based on research discovered at Stanford University, to significantly improve positive IVF outcomes by providing clinicians and their patients with objective information

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

For more information about Eeva, please visit EevaIVF.com/fr

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FATHER’S DAY JUNE 16, 2013 FATHER’S DAY JUNE 16, 2013 FATHER’S DAY JUNE 16, 2

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The One motivates you to reach your goals by bringing greater fitness into your life – seamlessly, 24 hours a day. www.fitbit.com/uk, from £79.99

COMMANDO DAD BASIC TRAINING

This indispensable training manual, by ex-commando Neil Sinclair is for all new recruits to fatherhood, it will teach you how to survive the first 24 hours, prepare and plan to ‘Prevent Poor Parental Performance’, maintain morale in the ranks, entertain, feed, clothe and even how to transport the troops successfully on manoeuvres.

Perfect for any new dad to learn the ropes - Let the training commence! www.commandodad.com, £9.99

EDITORSDAY FATHERUSRITE FAVO «

TOM FORD NEROLI PORTOFINO

The Tom Ford Neroli Portofino collection consists of sumptuous bath and body products as well as a fabulous signature fragrance, perfect for the fashionista (or dad) who always wants to look his best and smell like heaven. www.selfridges.com, £40.00 - £300.00

SWIVEL COGNAC GLASS

BY NORMANN COPENHAGEN

Scandinavian designers have a knack for sumptuous design and the stem-less Swivel Cognac creation is no exception. Combining the elements of function and pure pleasure, this glass provides heightened levels of sipping. The shape of the glass enhances the aromatic effects and its sensual movement, makes for a highly playful experience not to be missed. www.amazon.co.uk, from £40.00

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CELEBRITY SPOTLIGHT

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

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WORDS_ LOUISA GHEVAERT

With a successful career in acting and a man of style, 35 year old Zachary Quinto has become one of Hollywood’s hottest stars. Recently coming out to the world, not just about his sexuality, but also his desire to start a family with partner, and fellow actor, Jonathan Groff, we find out more about his roots, his rise to fame and his wish to become a dad.

B

orn in Pittsburgh in June 1977, Zachary’s father, a barber, died of cancer when he was just seven years old, leaving him and his brother, Joe, to be raised by their mother in a single parent family. He graduated from Central Catholic High School in 1995, and his talent for acting won him the Pittsburgh Gene Kelly Award for Best Supporting Actor for his role in Central’s 1994 production of Gilbert and Sullivan’s Pirates of Penzance.

Zachary remained in Pittsburgh and enrolled at Carnegie Mellon University’s School of Drama, whose alumni includes actors Patrick Wilson (Watchmen, The A-Team) and Ethan Hawke (Gattaca, Training Day) and Hollywood powerhouse Paula Wagner (one half of cinema’s most profitable doubleact, Cruise/Wagner Productions, responsible for the Mission: Impossible franchise and box office takings of $2.9 billion).

FROM TECHIE TO TREKKIE

After graduating in 1999, Zachary took varied guest roles in TV shows such as CSI, Charmed, Six Feet Under and Lizzie McGuire. In 2003, he found some stability when cast as CTU’s resident computer expert, Adam Kaufman, in Day 3 of the pseudo real-time political thriller 24.

Zachary received his first big break in 2006. Following a short turn as the Iranian-American gay best friend to Tori Spelling’s lead in the VH1 series So NoTORIous, Zachary landed the role of super villain serial killer Sylar in the critically acclaimed NBC sci-fi show Heroes. Science fiction proved an easy fit for Zachary and his popularityand fan base grew with each season of Heroes.

His sci-fi credentials were put to the test when in 2007 he was unveiled as the actor cast to play young Spock, in JJ Abrams reboot of the Star Trek franchise.

As if filling Leonard Nimoy’s shoes wasn’t enough, Zachary also had to act alongside his predecessor, who had reprised his role as older Spock in Abrams’ time-travelling retelling of the Enterprise crew’s maiden voyage. Nimoy had casting approval of the actor who would inherit his role, which, Zachary explained, was liberating: ‘... when I got the role I knew it was with his blessing.’ Earlier this year, reflecting on his time spent on set with Nimoy, Zachary told the Huffington Post that it was ‘one of the biggest gifts of the experience,’ and that he and Nimoy had ‘many conversations during the first movie about the character and it was enormously helpful to have him around, certainly more helpful than it was stressful.’ »

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Images: Paramount Pictures - Industrial Light & Magic / NBC Photo / Frank Ockenfels - FX

CELEBRITY SPOTLIGHT

As well as his role as Spock in Star Trek, Quinto has also been lauded for his portrals of diverse characters such as superpowered serial killer Sylar in NBC’s Heroes and as psychiatrist Dr. Oliver Thredson in the FX series American Horror Story: Asylum

The movie, proved a huge success, with box office takings of more than $385 million worldwide, making it the highest grossing Star Trek film of all time. Critics approved, the film was a triumph and it created a new generation of trekkies, for whom Zachary and his co-stars including Chris Pine, Zoe Saldana and Karl Urban, would become as iconic as Shatner and Nimoy were in the 60s when Star Trek first hit TV screens.

coming-out was still significant. Despite the growing number of films portraying gay issues, such as award-winners; Philadelphia (1993: Tom Hanks, Oscar for Best Actor), Brokeback Mountain (2005: Ang Lee, Oscar for Best Director), and Milk (2008: Sean Penn, Oscar for Best Actor), Hollywood remains, perhaps, the most closeted sector of the arts industries. Many in cinema recognise that it must do more to reflect the recent US cultural and political shift on LGBT issues that sees a slow acceptance of gay and lesbian life. Amy Pascal, Chair of Columbia Tri-Star Motion Pictures (responsible for 2012 hits Skyfall and Zero Dark Thirty) asked a fundraising gala for the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center’s Children and Youth Family Services in March this year: ‘What kinds of images are we giving gay and lesbian kids?

What are we teaching them and their families and friends about being gay? Do the images give them hope and confidence and self worth?’

COMING OUT IN HOLLYWOOD

Star Trek catapulted Zachary to worldwide stardom. However, despite reaching such dizzy heights he returned to the set of Heroes until the show concluded its four season run in 2010.

With Heroes behind him, Zachary returned to theatre in an offBroadway revival of Tony Kushner’s Pulitzer Prize winning drama, Angels in America, examining the impact of the AIDS-crisis on Reagan-era New York. Zachary played the self-absorbed boyfriend of Angels’ AIDSstricken central character, Prior Walter. Zachary’s involvement in the play and his inability to escape the events it grapples with (during Angels’ run Zachary stayed in the East Village, just blocks from the now-demolished St Vincent’s Catholic Medical Centre, which treated outpatient HIV+ New Yorkers and cared for many acute AIDS victims in the 1980s), had a considerable impact on him.

In an interview with New York Magazine in 2011, Zachary explained: ‘Doing that play made me realize how lucky I was to be born when I was born and to not have to witness the decimation of an entire generation of amazingly talented and otherwise vital men.’ In the the same interview, Zachary also confirmed what had long been the subject of gossip in Hollywood that ‘at the same time, as a gay man, it made me feel like there’s still so much work to be done...’.

It was the first time that Zachary had publicly acknowledged that he is gay. When previously asked he always deflected the question.

Nevertheless, even if it was an open secret in Hollywood, Zachary’s

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

GAY FAMILY LIFE

Zachary’s experiences growing up in a single parent family, together with his own experiences as a gay man in Hollywood have undoubtedly influenced his outlook in life.

There is still much work to be done to secure equal legal recognition for LGBT men and women and their families. Should Zachary decide to become a parent, like many other gay men and women, he will have to tread a careful path through the legal maze and his parenting journey. The law isn’t always joined up in its thinking and it can leave gay parents and their children without full legal protection, making it important to understand and manage the legal framework surrounding adult relationships, donor conception, surrogacy, co-parenting, adoption and children and parenting issues in practice.

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LGBT RIGHTS ACTIVIST

In a blog post following his October 2011 interview with New York Magazine, Zachary reflected on the tragic reality that, in the same year gay marriage could be legalized in that state, bisexual teen and New York State native Jamey Rodemeyer could be driven to take his own life by others’ homophobia.

‘In light of Jamey’s death,’ Zachary wrote on his website, ‘it became clear to me in an instant that living a gay life without publicly acknowledging it is simply not enough to make any significant contribution to the immense work that lies ahead on the road to complete equality.’ It was a powerful statement of intent: ‘... while [Jamey’s] death only makes me wish I had done this sooner, I am eternally grateful to him for being the catalyst for change within me. Now I can only hope to serve as the same catalyst for even one other person in this world.’

Zachary has long since been involved with the Trevor Project, a US based organisation set up to combat the worryingly high rates of suicide amongst LGBT teens, for which he made an ‘It Gets Better’ video, urging crisis-hit teens to seek help. He is also partnered-up with Jonathan Groff, of Glee fame, and a regular feature of the entertainment news shows and magazines, which makes him a role model for other young gay men.

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LONGEVITY

Zachary chose his next role carefully, with his own production company, Before the Door Pictures, raising the initial $3 million budget required to start filming. Margin Call (2011) a slick financial thriller, which charts the actions of a Wall Street firm during a 24 hour period that begins the crash of 2008. As well as his fundraising, casting and production roles, Zachary also played one of the central characters, senior risk analyst Peter Sullivan. Despite a talented cast, including Kevin Spacey, Demi Moore and Jeremy Irons, widespread critical acclaim and various awards, the film was a modest success, grossing just $16 million.

Nevertheless, it underlined Zachary’s commitment to his art and to ensuring that his work remains relevant to the World around him. Margin Call premiered in the Autumn of 2011, just as the Occupy Movement gathered pace. When the cast reached New York on their publicity tour, Zachary and other cast members were quick to visit Wall Street’s Zucotti Park, where thousands of anti-capitalists camped out in peaceful demonstration for several months.

THE FUTURE

Zachary has enjoyed success on stage, television and on the big screen and this makes him a force to be reckoned with.

Zachary stands out as an openly gay man in Hollywood. His future work and private and family life will be followed closely by many around the world in the years ahead and this gives him a platform to bring about change. Space may well be the final frontier but, if it is, Zachary’s work may allow the LGBT rights movement to boldly go where it has not yet gone before.

Louisa Ghevaert is a leading expert in UK fertility, surrogacy, parenting and family law and a passionate supporter of parents, children and families. She is a partner with Porter Dodson Solicitors & Advisors www.porterdodsonfertility.com.

join Takethe his breath away on a S adoption revolution MySwitzerland.com/gaylesbian Discover the charm of our Swiss cities.

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H a n d - p i c k e d p l a c e s t o s tay F o r g ay &

Q&A WITH...

In this issue we chat with Elly Barnes, LGBT Schools Advisor and pioneer of the unique ‘Educate and Celebrate’ program, created to make schools and workplaces LGBT friendly. She also discusses the power of music and celebrating LGBT History month as a means to teach and change the way schools handle LGBT issues.

Q. What was life like at school for you and did you witness any homophobic bullying.

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

© DGM Photogenics

EB: Bullying was rife, and it was happening on a daily basis for some, but at that time it was more racist or disability bullying. This was partly because nobody knew what the words gay or lesbian meant, nor did they know anyone that was out as lesbian, gay or transgender. I had girlfriends at school but it wasn’t until I turned 14 that someone asked me ‘Have you got a boyfriend yet’ I started to think about it, and at university, I was introduced to the word lesbian and I began to realise that there was actually a word for people like me.

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Q. How common is homophobic bullying in our schools today?

EB: It is wide spread and extremely prevalent in the education system today. Everything these days is ‘so gay’, your pen, even your chair, everything. So it’s about explaining to students that they are using the word ‘gay’ in the wrong context. Students tell me that the word gay is just part of their street talk, but in reality it isn’t, so I always reply back by asking them if their pen wasn’t working, would they say that their pen was so Jewish. Of course not, so it’s more about re-educating them to understand what they are actually saying is wrong and has to be changed. That said, a lot

training course with some standards which we named the ‘Educate and Celebrate’ standards that all teachers can follow to make their school LGBT friendly, looking at their environment and building from there.

Q. What should schools be doing to help LGBT students and those with LGBT parents or guardians?

EB: It is all about educating the school environment and learning about equality and the acceptance of diverse types of people, families and backgrounds, so that every student can walk down their school corridor without fear of discrimination. The root of the problem is what causes the bullying in

A LOT OF THE LGBT ISSUES LIE WITH SCHOOL STAFF NOT BEING TRAINED IN HOW TO DEAL WITH HOMOPHOBIC BULLYING, OR IN HOW TO POSITIVELY CHANGE THE SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT FOR STUDENTS OF LGBT PARENTS AND OF COURSE FOR STUDENTS WHO IDENTIFY THEMSELVES AS LGBT. of the problems lie with school staff not being trained in how to deal with homophobic bullying, or in how to positively change the school environment for students of LGBT parents and of course for students who identify themselves as LGBT.

Q. With training being fundamental to your cause, tell us more about your ‘Educate and Celebrate’ program and how it started.

EB: It all started back in 2005 while I was head of year at a school in Stoke Newington, running the school assemblies to over 240 children. I would see how many of my pupils were prejudiced against anyone that was different, so I wanted to make a community that celebrated diversity.

I, and the teachers in my team, would lead lessons and encourage students to celebrate diversity by producing rainbow flags and the male, female and transgender symbols for example. Then my head teacher asked me if I would be interested in training teachers from other schools. I then developed a teacher

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the first place. We are not born homophobic, so it’s about unlearning those behaviours that are influenced maybe through parents or other adults, even the media, and getting children to look at acceptance which can ultimately only come from education. If we don’t talk about this openly then children will think that something is wrong or different and that is how the bullying can start.

Q. Why do you like to use music to help and educate people to overcome LGBT prejudice?

EB: l have always loved music from a very young age. It was my subject I taught at school and a topic I am very comfortable with. The arts these days are full of LGBT personalities like Elton John, George Michael and Jessie J who are all accepted and respected for their work, so it’s a great starting point to open up class discussions.

It’s not so obvious in other subjects, which is why we have been encouraging schools around the country to participate in celebrating LGBT History month.

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Q. Tell us more about LGBT History month and who have you featured ?

EB: Each year we focus on a specific school subject. Last year we focused on STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths) and we invited Alan Turing’s nephew to speak to delegates at our pre-launch at Bletchley Park.

They learnt all about Alan Turing, his work and of course had a go on the enigma machine.

Like we celebrate Black History month, LGBT History month is to celebrate certain people from the LGBT community who have had an impact on our history and what’s great is that any community organisation, school, or business can put on an event. This year LGBT History month will be all about music which is right up my street.

Q. Have you encountered many complaints from parents due to your work on LGBT issues?

EB: Actually, I have had very few complaints as no parent wants their child to be bullied at school, so they are pleased that I am including anti-bullying strategies into their child’s curriculum. All I am doing is educating kids, which is exactly what all teachers should be doing, after all, it is our job. We are their role models but at the same time, we should all feel comfortable being who we are.

Q. How did being voted No.1 in the 2011 Independent Pink List help with what you are striving to achieve at schools around the country?

EB: Initially I actually thought it was a joke, but the day before it was announced that I had won they told me that I was going to be on the BBC News, so I grabbed the opportunity to promote what we were doing in schools and that raised our profile to the point that county councils, even more schools and numerous organisations and charities became interested in getting involved, which was fantastic in putting us on the map and ultimately making a better future for LGBT people in the education system.

Elly Barnes is the LGBT Schools Advisor for Birmingham City Council, the Equality and Diversity Lead at Stoke Newington School and a freelance diversity trainer. For more info about her and her work, visit www.ellybarnes.co.uk

MAY / JUNE 2013 – ISSUE 09

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WORDS_ JUDY CLARK

Establishing good sleep habits can stop baby sleep problems before they start, and also avoid a lot of unnecessary stress to you , your partner and your newborn. We catch up with Pink Parenting’s new sleep expert Judy Clark who shares her 5 top-tips to sleeping that hopefully means you no longer need to kiss your sanity goodnight.

W

ith the arrival of a new baby, it doesn’t take long for the topic of sleep to come up and the ensuing sleepless nights that result in the baby never not wanting to sleep, even though you and your partner are literally dreaming of a good night’s sleep.

I remember being pregnant with my first child and a friend saying to me that I might as well get plenty of sleep now and kiss goodbye to sleep for a long time as babies don’t sleep which only gets worse as they get to toddler years!!

I know how painful it is to go through sleepless nights with a child as I went through it myself with my first daughter, she’d wake up

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crying every hour demanding to be fed. I tried everything—rocking her, giving her a dummy, lying beside her, walking her in the pram—but nothing seemed to work. I didn’t know what to do because no-body had ever really told me anything about how to get my babies to sleep through the night! When pregnant, I read the books available about pregnancy and birth but nothing really explained the importance of sleep to a baby, how sleep associations are formed and the impact they have on us as parents.

When Jannah was only eight weeks old, I reached breaking point. I had been walking her in the pram for an hour trying to get her to sleep and went in to the supermarket to buy a few things. While I »

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SLEEP SENSE was at the check-out she woke up and started screaming. “Why don’t you feed her?” the checkout girl suggested.

I almost burst into tears. I’d just fed Jannah an hour ago – she couldn’t possibly hungry! But I had no idea what the problem was. It’s no surprise to me that recent research shows that mums are far more likely to suffer from post-natal depression if their children sleep badly!

When I got home that day I went on the internet and started researching everything I could about getting babies to sleep, I found Canadian, world renowned sleep expert Dana Obleman, and with her help and guidance that night for the first time ever Jannah slept for seven hours straight without waking! Within 3 nights she was sleeping 7pm to 7am with no wakes!!

Sleep is so important to me that I decided to make a career of it!

I personally contacted Dana and asked her to teach me her skills so I could help families in the UK, I was privileged that Dana accepted my request and invited me to Canada to personally train me, I am now the UK’s first certified child sleep sense consultant and help families in the UK and abroad achieve results fast.

A BEDTIME ROUTINE SHOULDN’T TAKE MORE THAN ABOUT 45 MINUTES, AND IT’S IMPORTANT THAT THE ROUTINE IS THE SAME EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. THE REPETITION AND PREDICTABILITY ARE WHAT LET YOUR CHILD KNOW THAT THEY WILL SOON BE EXPECTED TO FALL ASLEEP.

THE 5 BIGGEST TIPS TO ASSIST YOU IN GETTING YOUR BABY TO SLEEP WELL.

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STEP ONE – CHOOSE AN EARLY BEDTIME.

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STEP THREE – CREATE A PREDICTABLE BEDTIME ROUTINE.

Whether your child has a room of their own or shares a room with parents or siblings, it’s important that you put your son or daughter to sleep in the same place every night (and for naps during the day as much as possible.) Putting your child to bed in a familiar place lets them know they are safe and that they are in a place where sleep is expected of them.

So there you have it... the 5 most important things you need to know about getting your child to sleep through the night. Of course, it’s important to keep in mind that every child is a little different – there’s no “magic formula” that will work 100% of the time for every baby!

The latest research shows that around 84% of children who are experiencing sleep problems will continue to have them for up to 5 years. This is a very long time for a family to function on a reduction of sleep and a long time to fight bedtime battles. It is never too late to start changing your child’s sleep situation. It can be hard but there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel and in the long run making these small changes will make everyone feel better and well rested and, in my experience, a whole lot happier!

Consistency and predictability are really important to babies and toddlers. When they know what to expect at bedtime, it makes it much easier for them to make the transition from waking to sleeping – and that’s why creating a bedtime routine is so important!

A GOOD EXAMPLE OF A BEDTIME ROUTINE MIGHT BE SOMETHING LIKE THIS: 6:20 pm Bath time 6:35 pm Put on pyjamas 6:40 pm Nursing or bottle (Do NOT let your child fall asleep while feeding!)

6:55 pm Story or song time 7:00 pm In to crib or bed

Judy Clark is the Founder of BabyWinkz Consultancy and is the UK’s first Certified Sleep Sense Child Sleep Consultant. Judy helps families across the World get their little ones to sleep through the night and offers follow up support key to success. For more information please visit www.babywinkz.com

Your bedtime routine shouldn’t take more than about 45 minutes, and it’s VERY important that the routine is the same every single night. The repetition and predictability are what let your child know that he or she will soon be expected to fall asleep.

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STEP FIVE – IF YOUR BABY WAKES UP DURING THE NIGHT, WAIT A FEW MINUTES BEFORE INTERVENING.

Everyone – babies and adults alike – will actually wake up several times every night. For most adults, these wakings are so brief that we don’t even remember them the next morning. However, many babies will immediately start to fuss or cry when they wake up.

This is simply because they haven’t learned how to fall asleep on their own. If a baby has been nursed or rocked to sleep at bedtime since birth, it’s not surprising that they wouldn’t know how to fall asleep independently. The good news is that many babies can figure out how to get back to sleep within just a few minutes of waking up!

If your child continues to fuss or cry for more than a few minutes, you’ll want to go in and offer some comfort, but it’s important to let your child do the work of falling back to sleep. You can speak softly to your child and do some gentle rubbing or patting, but you should avoid picking your child up and rocking or nursing back to sleep.

The best time to put your baby or toddler to bed is sometime between 6 and 8 o’clock in the evening. This ensures that your child will be able to get a solid 11-13 hours of sleep during the night.

(And yes... that is how much sleep children should be getting every night up until the age of about 10.)

STEP TWO – PUT YOUR CHILD TO SLEEP IN THE SAME PLACE EVERY NIGHT.

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STEP FOUR – PUT YOUR BABY TO BED AWAKE!

If you’ve been rocking, nursing, or otherwise soothing your baby to sleep, this is going to seem like a tough one... but it’s actually the most important step! It’s only by letting your baby fall asleep WITHOUT your help at bedtime that he or she can learn the skills necessary to stay asleep through the night.

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REAL LIFE STORIES

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

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In the third and final article in our series of real life stories featuring the stars of a new print campaign being run by surrogacy agency, Growing Generations, we catch up with Marek and Erica, who with the help of sperm donation and IVF, were able to achieve their dreams of having children. Here, transgender Marek, tells his and Erica’s journey of how a chance meeting at a conference led to them becoming parents to Gavin and Jack and what finally having a family of their very own means to them.

E

rica and I met in November of 2003 at a business conference in California while we were both still at college. At that time, I was still female, so initially Erica got to know me as a woman, and there was an obvious attraction between us. After the conference was over, we continued to stay in touch via email and spent loads of time chatting and getting to know each other on the phone and it was only about a month later that Erica travelled down from Washington, where she was studying, to visit and it was then we knew we wanted to be together.

It wasn’t until Erica was offered a job with Growing Generations that we were actually able to move in together, and working in their marketing department Erica found herself submersed in a world of LGBT people all wanting to start their own families. From very early on we had both chatted about our desire to have children, but it wasn’t until Growing Generations launched a sperm bank five years into our relationship,

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FROM VERY EARLY ON WE HAD BOTH CHATTED ABOUT OUR DESIRE TO HAVE CHILDREN, BUT IT WASN’T UNTIL GROWING GENERATIONS LAUNCHED A SPERM BANK FIVE YEARS INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP, THAT WE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERED THIS AS A REALISTIC OPTION FOR US.

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that we seriously considered this as a realistic option for us. Of course, we had all the conversations that any couple have before starting a family, like was this the right time and did we have enough money? But we came to the conclusion that there would probably never be the perfect time and if we were really serious, then we just had to do it. »

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I CLEARLY REMEMBER THE SURREAL MOMENT WHEN I WAS TAKEN UP TO THE NURSERY TO BE WITH GAVIN. I SAT WITH HIM FOR OVER AN HOUR NOT BEING ABLE TO BELIEVE THAT GAVIN WAS REALLY OUR BABY. I WAS IN A DREAMLIKE STATE WHERE I JUST STARED AT HIM FOR AGES. I INSTANTLY FELT THIS BOND WITH HIM AND KEPT HAVING TO TELL MYSELF THAT I WAS THIS BABY’S PARENT AND THAT I WAS GOING TO LOVE HIM AND DO WHATEVER IT TOOK TO MAKE HIS LIFE TOTALLY AWESOME.

CHOOSING A SPERM DONOR

Our first big hurdle was finding the right sperm donor. We knew we wanted someone who had a similar ethnic background to us, good looking, intelligent and just an all round nice guy, and we were really lucky to find someone who ticked all those boxes for us relatively quickly. While we were on our search for the right donor, we were also discussing about who was going to conceive and whose eggs we should use. Although I had not come out as transgender yet, I knew I didn’t want to be pregnant. On Erica’s birthday it was decided that we would use her eggs and she would carry the baby for us.

So in June 2008 Erica was inseminated and we were very lucky as she fell pregnant on the first attempt. The pregnancy went smoothly and Gavin arrived in February 2009. It all came as a bit of a surprise as Erica’s waters broke unexpectedly in the middle of the night and we felt like we were not prepared, but as you know, when

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labour starts there is not much you can do other than get with the program and deal with it, so we rushed into hospital and Gavin was born via C-section at 4:30 in the morning.

A NEW BABY ON BOARD

Even though Erica was the one carrying our child, I was completely involved over the nine months. To us, it never mattered that we had used a sperm donor as we always thought of Gavin as ours that we had created. However, I clearly remember the surreal moment when I was taken up to the nursery to be with Gavin for the first time, while the hospital staff looked after Erica.

I sat with him for over an hour not being able to believe that Gavin was really our baby. I was in a dreamlike state where I just stared at him for ages. I instantly felt this bond with him and kept having to tell myself that I was this baby’s parent and that I was going to love him and do whatever it took to make his life totally awesome.

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MAKING THE CHANGE

We took Gavin home the next day and settled into our new family routine, but at the back of my mind I never felt totally comfortable with whom I was as a person.

It was such a tough period in my life as though I knew I was Gavin’s parent, I never really identified myself as his mother and this really got me thinking about whether that was how I wanted him to know me.

Gavin was around two and half when I seriously started to explore the options of making the transition from female to male which obviously involved him to a certain degree. We had to sit him down and explain that even though mummy was a girl, I really felt like a boy so we were going to start calling me Papa. Gavin had no problems with this and within a matter of weeks started to call me Papa, and it felt right.

Looking back now, he says he has no recollection of that time which is great news as both Erica and I were really careful to introduce the change and took every

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© Blueberry Sky Photography 2012

REAL LIFE STORIES

effort to make it as easy as possible for him. What we really learned from the whole experience is that children are the adaptable ones and it is us adults that over complicate things.

EXPANDING OUR FAMILY

In January of 2010, the same month that I started to see my gender identity therapist, Erica and I agreed that it would be nice for Gavin to have a little brother or sister, so we decided to try for another baby. We tried a couple of attempts at insemination using the same sperm as we had used for Gavin, but we were unsuccessful. As we only had a limited amount of sperm left to conceive a baby that was genetically related to Gavin we decided to try IVF as we knew this had a higher success rate.

In June we started our first round and Erica fell pregnant straight away. Unfortunately on our first ultrasound we found out that there was a fetal sac but no baby was inside.

Naturally we were devastated but we continued on with our second round of IVF in December and this time it was successful. Nine months later, in August of 2012, we welcomed our second boy, Jack into the world and into our family.

Now, it’s hard to imagine not having Gavin and Jack in our lives. Yes, there is no denying that having children can be all consuming and has tested us in every way possible, but if I think back to when I first sat with Gavin and feeling that bond, I am so proud of my family and we wouldn’t change it for all the riches in the world.

Growing Generations is dedicated to building families through surrogacy, egg donation, and sperm donation. For more information please visit www.growinggenerations.com

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CHILDREN’S FITNESS

WORDS_ LUCY MILLER

I

t really doesn’t take much to get your children outside in the warm weather, having fun and exercising without even realising it! So why not follow my 12 simple tips to get your kids active no moaning guaranteed just fun, smiles and loads more fun! It is also a great excuse to spend quality time and connect with your children. Let’s not forget that you will also physically benefit from getting the kids outdoors and keeping fit, maybe even shedding those few extra pounds or just feeling better about yourself, so make sure to get stuck in and include yourself as a team player, and a positive role model for your kids to admire.

1

TIP 1 – MAKE IT FUN

4

TIP 4 – MAKE CHORES FUN

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TIP 5 – TREAT NIGHT

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TIP 6 – WISH LIST

Get the kids to help out with gardening, mowing the lawn and household maintenance. It could be helping to weed, bringing top soil in a wheelbarrow to where it’s needed, collecting the sticks from the lawn before mowing, or planting flowers and veggies. Give them some responsibility and a project to engage in and they won’t notice time ticking by and the fact they are using every muscle in their body too.

Unfortunately we are conditioned to think that exercise is boring and hard work, but the key to getting your kids to move more is to associate the activity with fun and enjoyment. Start a weekly rounders game with their friends, take a walk to the park after dinner and play tag as a family, enroll your kids in an activity they’re interested in, like dance, gymnastics, karate, or swimming - and encourage active play like hide and seek or Stuck in the Mud. The more fun they have, the more they will choose to move rather than sitting down motionless.

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3

TIP 3 – TAKE CONTROL OF THE BOX

A recent study found that kids in the UK spend on average five hours per day in front of the flat screen either by watching TV, surfing the internet or playing computer games.

Talk about square eyes! This amount of screen time makes it really hard for kids to have an active healthy life, so take control of the TV, and ration their Telly time! With no buttons to press or controllers to use, they’ll be hard-pressed not to want to head outside or do something to get off the sofa.

Replace pizza and a movie night with a family fitness night at least once a month. Have a match using the Wii, do a dance off to their favourite song or have a snowball fight using rolled up socks.

Get the kids excited about it and have some healthy snacks like home-made popcorn or fruit skewers to make it feel like a real treat.

TIP 2 – START SMALL

We all lose motivation when we try to do too much too soon, and children are no exception. Running 5k may be a goal that’s out of reach for your family for the moment, but running for two minutes and then walking for five isn’t. What’s most important for motivation is accomplishing and setting a goal that’s maintainable and reachable. Set little bench marks that will get you to you and your children’s goal and remember once they are there, you need to reward them so they are eager to set another new challenge.

Sit down and write a fitness wish list together. Write down every physical activity they’d like to do, and let them choose a few every month. Pop their on the fridge and tick them off as you go along.

With the summer holidays just around the corner, it’s time to start planning how to keep the kids entertained. Luckily, this can be as easy as taking them to your local park or even organising simple yet fun games in your back garden.

Child fitness expert, Lucy Miller, explains what you can do to keep your kids happy, fit and full of life this summer.

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TIP 7 – WALK THIS WAY

There is no better way to begin any fitness program than by walking. You already do it, so just do more of it. No matter where you live, there are opportunities to walk. Find places to walk, like to the shopping center, and find stairs to climb, and even get friends to join you. You can also invest in a pedometer or an app on your phone that counts your steps. Research shows that walking 10,000 steps a day will significantly improve your health, so get a chart on the fridge and tick off every day they reach this target. Once they have hit this milestone twenty times, its time for a treat like a new T-shirt or trip to the smoothie bar.

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TIP 8 – GET HULA HOOPING

Hula hooping is great fun and an amazing exercise for strengthening your children’s core, while working on coordination and rhythm. It’s fun and easy too, so get outside, put on some music and see who can keep going for the longest. You can also try walking around the garden whilst circling the hoop around your waist or arms.

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TIP 12 – COOL OFF

Swimming is a great way for kids to cool off and be active in the summer time, but you can make it even more fun with games. Throw pennies in the pool and have the kids compete to see who can fill up the ‘treasure chest” the fastest. Or, see who can keep a balloon or a ball in the air the longest, or run from one side of the pool to the other; the person who drops it has to do swim two laps.

TIP 9 – JOIN A CLUB

Join a running club or event like Park Run. Park Run is a 5k run that takes place in local parks around the country. You can walk or run it together and each week try and beat your time. It’s a fun community event, where your children can make friends and look forward to going every week, especially if the sun is shining. For more information on this you can sign up at parkrun.org.uk.

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TIP 11 – RE-CREATE THE OLYMPICS

Olympic Fever is still in the air and will be for a while, so whether in the garden or in the playground, an obstacle course is a great way for kids to engage in a variety of activities.

Obstacle courses are also great for kids of all ages to play together, because they can compete against their own time – not against each other. The course can include a variety of activities like running, jumping, balancing, hula-hooping and throwing a ball. Record their times and distances and encourage them to celebrate their achievement with the famous Usain Bolt pose at the end!

Download Pedometer FREE from iTunes or buy a pedometer from Amazon for as little as two pounds!

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TIP 10 – LET THEM DECIDE

Allow your kids to take charge of the family exercise schedule for a week - and promise that you’ll do whatever they choose. You’ll probably be surprised at the creative ideas they come up with. You can also rotate weekly, so every family member gets to choose the schedule for the week.

Lucy is a personal trainer, nutritionist and kid’s fitness specialist. She loves nothing more than looking after her body and helping others to reach their goals too. Find out more at www.lucymiller.me.uk

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PACK YOUR BAGS There are now dozens of ways for you to enjoy the great outdoors with the family without breaking the bank. Here are a few ideas we have found that will have you packing your bags straight away!

PRIORY BAY

Making the most of its unique environment, Priory Bay, on the Isle of White, has created luxury camping in specially designed Island-crafted yurts offering the ultimate in seaside accommodation, with a luxurious twist. Set in their natural location and close to nature, these yurts take glamping to the next level and are guaranteed to be a winner with all the family. www.priorybay.co.uk

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wORdS_ GIORGIO SEVERI

www.PINK-PARENTING.COm

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CARRY ON GLAMPING!

HARPTREE COURT

Situated in the grounds of the Grade II listed Harptree Court near Bath, this magical treehouse is the ideal glamping experience for those who wants to get away from it all. A true hideaway, built high in the trees at the edge of a wood, it offers all you need to relax, including a glorious copper bath and woodburning stove. With plenty of grounds to explore and enjoy with all the family, it’s the ideal escape. www.harptreecourt.co.uk

THE MAJESTIC BUS

Located on the edge of the Radnorshire Hills just over five miles away from the famous town of Hay-on-Wye, a loving restoration has turned this well-worked 60’s bus into a cosy bolthole for the entire family to enjoy, having received a whole new look with soft colours and homely fabrics, the restoration featured on Channel 4’s, George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces. Just outside the bus is a fire-pit on which you can cook in the open air, and of course there are plenty of hillsides for the kids to venture out and explore. www.majesticbus.co.uk

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Email: louisa.ghevaert@porterdodson.co.uk @LouisaGhevaert www.porterdodsonfertility.com

Take his breath away on a Swiss city break.

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MySwitzerland.com/gaylesbian Discover the charm of our Swiss cities.

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gay and gay-friendly places to stay across Europe than any other website

The Chateau Ribagnac, Limousin. Photo: PaulDawson.co.uk

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Our collection ranges from boutique hotels in city destinations to large houses to rent near the sea in England, France, Spain, Scotland and Wales.... and most of our properties welcome children of all ages - see our child friendly theme.

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THE CHAPEL

Saved from demolition and lovingly re-assembled by the finest woodworkers, this converted chapel stands amongst the English Oaks within the Walcot Hall Estate in Shropshire.

Accessible via a 500 yard meander from the main house, this delightful two bedroom self catering property has all the mod cons you would expect to find, and is perfectly placed for enjoying the surrounding countryside. www.walcothall.com

MANORAFON DOME

Within easy reach of the Penbryn beach in Wales, the Manorafon is a geodesic dome that can be enjoyed by children and adults alike. With solid wood floors, bespoke furnishings and spectacular views, getting back to nature is the name of the game. There’s also an outside deck featuring plenty of space for relaxation, and a fully equipped all-weather kitchen and BBQ area for dining al fresco. www.coldatnight.co.uk

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

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WE L♥VE

THE LATEST GIFTS, GADGETS AND GIZMOS IDEAL FOR GLAMPING! As the UK prepares for the summer, we have found a selection of cute and quirky must haves for all children to make the most of Glamping in the great outdoors!

PINK PARENTING - WE LOVE

ADVENTUROUS ANIMAL DAYSACKS

These daysacks from LittleLife are the perfect accessory for any day out and are great fun for little ones. They come in a range of colours, shapes, designs and sizes, and also have a weatherproof hood tucked away in a top pocket; open it out and your child can complete the transformation from little person to animal, dinosaur, fish or bug. www.littlelife.co.uk, from £19.99

EDITORSthe PICK ofnth mo «

WET WEATHER CRITTER CLOTHING

Brought to you by Kidorable, this selection of waterproof clothing and wellies are great for splashing in streams and tramping around muddy fields while keeping your children nice and dry.

Available in a variety of styles, your kid will be the envy of every other child around the camp fire. www.welliesandworms.co.uk, from £14.95

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

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WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

SEE MORE AT WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

WET ‘N’ WILD WATER WEARERS

The Aquaterra Sprite Kids footwear by Merrell have been specifically designed for discovering nature’s watery wonders up close and comfortable.

With their ‘Built to Get Wet’ construction and cord elastic lacing, these shoes will provide all day comfort for even the most intrepid of explorers. ww.merrell.com/uk, £40.00

GLAMP GADGETIoNfG the month

LIGHT UP WITH LEGO

«

Ideal for any night owl, this Lego Minifigure torch works by pressing the button on the figure’s chest to turn on the two bright LED lights in his feet, and no more flat batteries, as the torch features a built-in Dynamo generator operated by simply turning the Lego man’s arm to rechargeable the batteries. Perfect for any midnight missions! www.amazon.co.uk, £14.99

COMFORTABLE CREATURES

These cute and comfortable kids camping chairs from Gelert come in many animalistic designs and are perfect for any little travellers to relax in after trekking in the wilderness, and they fold up into their own bag which is light enough for your kids to carry by themselves. www.gelert.com, £12.99

SNAPPY, SNUGGLESOME SLEEPING BAG

Ideal for camping under the stars, Théophile by Lilliputiens, is the friendly giant crocodile sleeping bag that every little child will love, providing them with a warm and comfy night’s sleep next to his big white teeth which can be snapped together when not in use for easy transportation. www.kidsrooms.co.uk, £75.00

WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

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MAY / JUNE 2013 – ISSUE 09

FOCUS ON FOSTERING

With the UK shortfall of foster carers now at 9,000**, Foster Care Fortnight is a national campaign which aims to raise the profile of fostering and attract new carers. This year the campaign takes place from 13 – 26 May, under the theme ‘Get in the Frame’. The two-week initiative will champion the hard work and dedication of foster carers and ask the nation to consider putting themselves ‘in the frame’ for fostering.

W

hen I was five, my mother became unwell and I spent 10 months in foster care. At first, all I wanted to do was go back home, but as time went on I developed a really strong relationship with my foster carer, who I still keep in touch with 40 years later.

I’ve always enjoyed supporting teenagers and throughout my adult life I’ve had a lot of involvement with young people, from working in schools to supporting troubled teenagers in residential units.

But I wanted to do more for vulnerable young people by providing them with a safe and stable family home in which to thrive.

as time has passed we’ve come to really appreciate and value the support you are provided with as foster carers and realise we can make a difference to so many more children by fostering. We took our time looking into our options, but it was Core Assets Fostering that stood out for us. They fully supported us through our assessment period and have continued to support us as approved carers. We now offer long term care and respite for children and young people. We have a fantastic relationship with our Core Assets social worker, we trust the team at the office and a have built friendships with other carers too.

As a foster carer with Core Assets you’re provided with 24 hour support, regular training and carer forums as well as the backing of a team of professionals including a social worker, education officers, support workers and therapists. There will always be someone on the end of the phone any time of day to offer advice and there’s a real sense of community between foster carers.

TAKING THE FIRST STEP

Helen and I have been together for over six years, and agreed right away that we wanted to share our lives with children. Initially we thought we would foster and after a few years look to adopt, however

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

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WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

**source: the fostering network / *names changed for anonymity

One such couple from Gloucestershire decided to make that step and haven’t looked back since.

Having fostered for over four years, Sam, 45, and Helen, 44, were approved as foster carers with Core Assets Fostering – the UK’s largest independent fostering agency. The couple have made a difference to the lives of 10 vulnerable young people. Here Sam tells us about the challenges, rewards and difference fostering has made to their lives as well as the reasons why others may want to consider it as a career.

**source: the fostering network / *names changed for anonymity

WORDS_ EMMA HOUGHTON

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

BY PROVIDING A LOVING HOME YOU ARE GIVING A YOUNG PERSON A SECOND CHANCE IN LIFE. YOU’RE NOT JUST TEACHING THEM LIFE SKILLS FOR INDEPENDENCE, YOU ARE GIVING THEM THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE WHOEVER THEY WANT TO BE.

One young person we’ve looked after, Natalie*, has grown into a confident, kind and courteous young lady.

She used to hide away if things got too difficult, but now she stands her ground and has the confidence to talk through an issue calmly. We’re known in the community as carers and everyone comments on the strides our foster children have made, from parents and teachers to the shop assistant in our local newsagent.

By providing a loving home you are giving a young person a second chance in life. You’re not just teaching them life skills for independence, you are giving them the opportunity to be whoever they want to be. They don’t have to worry about where their next meal is coming from or if they’ll have clean clothes for school tomorrow, they can just be themselves

WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

because they’re working though anxieties and emotional hurdles and coming out the other side as the person they want to be.

Sometimes young people will demonstrate distressing or challenging behaviour, but all the tears I’ve cried in the last four »

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MAY / JUNE 2013 – ISSUE 09

FOCUS ON FOSTERING

» years have been tears of pride. Children are truly amazing and seeing them achieve is hugely rewarding. Achievements like continued good behaviour, remembering to say please and thank you or even learning to tie their shoe laces may seem small, but as a foster carer you realise what huge milestones these developments are.

SEEING A CHANGE

No relationship comes without its lumps and bumps but fostering is so worth it. If a young person’s actions upset you it’s only because you care about them, and what’s wrong with that?

If you’re thinking about fostering you must be patient, be prepared to be wrong and ensure you are as good as your word.

There were no issues at Core Assets about our sexuality and we have not experienced any homophobia in our community or with other foster carers. In fact, all of the young people we’ve looked after have been really positive about it. When a young boy called

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

Jamie* was told he would be staying with a same sex couple he said “it doesn’t matter”.

And it’s true because every child and young person is different with individual needs, and like Jamie* said “it doesn’t matter” if you’re single, married, gay, straight, black or white, you could make a difference in a child’s life.

FOSTER CARER AND PROUD

People don’t often think about fostering until it comes their way but if you feel you’re ready to share your life with a vulnerable child then you’ve already completed half the battle. My best friend is thinking about fostering and I’ve told her to go for it.

Gather as much information as you can, go to open evenings and attend the preapproval training, because you can walk away at any time. There is a huge difference between thinking about what fostering is like and knowing what fostering is like, you could change a young person’s life and I promise you, you will never regret it. You don’t need bags of experience working

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with children. Take my partner Helen, she works for a company that produces medical equipment and she’s a fantastic foster carer.

She may not have worked with children professionally, but she has the compassion, patience and great sense of humour you need to be a foster carer and together, we work as a team. There are hundreds of excuses not to foster, but I would encourage you to put your family in the frame and consider fostering. When people ask me what I do for a living I say: ‘I’m a foster mum, and so proud of it’.

Core Assets Fostering welcomes single foster carers and couples from all walks of life. The agency has a network of 75 offices across the UK and currently works with 90% of local authorities. If you have a spare bedroom suitable for a young person and want to find out more about the difference you could make to a child call 0800 023 4561 or visit www.iwanttofoster.com. You can also ‘LIKE’ us on facebook.com/coreassetsfostering.

WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

**source: the fostering network / *names changed for anonymity

Every foster child and young person is different with individual needs, so as foster carers, it doesn’t matter if you’re single, married, gay, straight, black or white, you could make a difference in a child’s life.

THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF EXCUSES NOT TO FOSTER, BUT I WOULD ENCOURAGE YOU TO PUT YOUR FAMILY IN THE FRAME AND CONSIDER FOSTERING. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING I SAY: ‘I’M A FOSTER MUM, AND SO PROUD OF IT’.

On

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**source: the fostering network / *names changed for anonymity

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With Foster Care Fortnight 2013 on the horizon, fostering providers across the UK are flying the flag for foster carers, celebrating the difference they make to young people and the need to recruit more. With a child coming into care every 22 minutes** and the shortfall of foster carers now at 9,000** it is vital further resilient, compassionate and enthusiastic foster carers step forward. This year, the two-week long initiative is under the theme ‘Get in the Frame’ encouraging families across the UK to consider putting themselves in the frame for a rewarding career in foster care.

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RECIPES_ ANNABEL KARMEL

SUMMERTIME TREATS

WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

45

With the warmer months just around the corner, it’s a great time to start planning day trips out with the kids, making the most of the good weather with plenty of fresh air and exercise.

So why not organise a picnic this summer, here Annabel shares some of her delicious snack to impress and spoil your friends and family.

MAY / JUNE 2013 – ISSUE 09

SUMMERTIME TREATS

CARROT, COURGETTE AND SWEETCORN FRITTERS

MINI BURGERS

The Mini Burgers shown on the previous page are ideal for parties of as a summer snack, you could make this recipe using chicken or beef.

Method

Ingredients • 250g minced chicken or turkey • 5 spring onions, chopped • 1 tbsp fresh thyme, chopped • Half apple, grated • 50g parmesan, grated • 50g carrot, grated • 50g fresh white breadcrumbs • 1 tbsp sweet chilli sauce • 2 tsp soy sauce • To Grill: butter or margarine, Marmite • To Fry: Oil

Pre heat grill. Arrange the burgers on a baking sheet and put a little butter or margarine and Marmite on each one. Cook for about 5 minutes each side until cooked through.

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

Mix all of the ingredients together in a bowl.

Season and shape into 8 burgers.

Alternatively heat the oil in a frying pan. Fry the burgers for about 5 to 6 minutes, turning half way through until lightly golden and cooked through in the middle.

Ingredients • 1 egg • 50g self-raising flour • 1 tbsp milk • 1 tbsp sweet chilli sauce • 100g courgette, grated • 50g carrot, grated • 4 spring onions, sliced • 2 tbsp canned sweetcorn, drained • 50g mature Cheddar, grated • A little oil, for frying Method Beat the egg in a mixing bowl then bear in the flour and milk until smooth. Add the remaining ingredients and season.

Heat the oil in a frying pan. Take spoonfuls of the mixture and fry them each side for 2-3 minutes until lightly golden, turning over halfway through.

Serve on their own or with mini buns or bagels and a little mayonnaise or ketchup and salad.

You may have to do this in batches, so keep the cooked fritters warm while you cook the rest.

Makes 8 burgers

Makes 8-10 fritters

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The new Tropical PaddlePak range RRP £19.99 Featuring a dry roll top seal that uses the same innovation as adult outdoor bags to keep belongings protected from the elements. It features our patent pending, break-away safety buckle, the Trunki grip™ to keep sunglasses close to hand, and a tail fin that doubles as a functional pocket for small valuables. Ideal for days out, trips to the beach, swimming pool or school!

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SUMMERTIME TREATS

ETON MESS

ANNABEL’S NEW BOOK QUICK AND EASY TODDLER RECIPES

Quick, easy and ever so impressive, this berry Eton mess combines fresh fruit, meringue and yogurt for a divine dessert that couldn’t be easier to make.

Raspberries are very rich in vitamin C, which helps your little ones to fight infection and absorb iron.

Ingredients • 150 ml whipping cream • 200g Greek yoghurt • 75g meringues, broken into pieces • 1 large ripe peach, diced • 200g raspberries Method Whip the cream until it forms soft peaks. Add the Greek yoghurt and mix until smooth. Fold in the remaining ingredients and mix together. Spoon into 4 glasses .

Chill for 15 minutes.

Makes 4 portions

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

Annabel is launching a new recipe book to tickle tots’ tastebuds with meals made quick & easy for toddlers and parents.

In a move to make mealtimes more manageable for busy mums and dads, the UK’s number one parenting author and expert on baby and child nutrition launches the first in her ‘Quick and Easy’ series: Quick and Easy Toddler Recipes.

With ‘mealtime meltdown’ a daily occurrence across thousands of busy UK households, Annabel has cooked-up a 144-page full-colour recipe book to help hard-working families feed their children a healthy, balanced diet – in quick time!

Quick and Easy Toddler Recipes (RRP £9.99) will be published by Ebury Press on 20 June 2013. For more information please visit www.eburypublishing.co.uk

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With the popularity of organically made clothing on the market, many consumers are now keen to know how and where their clothes have been made. We chat with Kurt Jewson, co-founder of Frugi – Scrumptious Organic Clothes, ethically sourced and beautifully designed ranges for babies, kids and mothers, and find out how his company began, his plans for the future and his desire to change how clothes are made.

M

y wife Lucy and I started our first venture back in 2004 a little while after we had our first child, Tom. We were originally called ‘Cut 4 Cloth’, and only specialised in clothing made to fit over large cloth nappies that are organically made and ethically sourced.

Since then we have rebranded and what we offer has grown, as has our company.

We have encountered many hurdles along the way, but we are at the stage now where we are so proud of what we have achieved and what Frugi has become.

www.PINK-PARENTING.COm

In the begInnIng

Our son, Tom was a very big baby when he was born, and from a very early age, we struggled to find anything that could fit over his cloth nappies. In desperation we ended up turning to the net and joined some ‘mother & baby’ forums in the hope of finding someone to help us, only to realise that there were lots of other parents who were in exactly the same boat. Spending hours scouring the internet, we noticed that no one was making clothing to accommodate larger babies and their nappies, and that here was a business opportunity no one

51

else had taken advantage of yet. Excited at the prospect, Lucy and I would lie in bed talking all night about how we could start our own company that would cater for all these parents. At that time, we were both happy in our jobs, making good money, but there was this constant thought that this was a fantastic chance for us to do something of our very own, we just had no idea how or where to start.

Taking the initial steps to start our own company was really scary, but after many midnight conversations we decided we had nothing to lose. We cashed in all our savings, »

mAY / JUNE 2013 – ISSUE 09

BEHIND THE BRAND

re-mortgaged our home, gave up our jobs, and started to work from our spare bedroom taking turns using a second hand computer that connected to the internet via dial-up, it was all very primitive by today’s standards.

A lot of the manufacturers we approached with our ideas were only willing to work with us if we had big quantities of orders behind us, but eventually we found someone, who, like us, had started off small, so was happy to work with our small orders we initially placed.

GOING LIVE

On the 1st of June 2004, our company, ‘Cut 4 Cloth’, opened for business and at eight o’clock that same morning we received our first order. We were so excited, but it was short lived as we did not receive another order until two weeks later. In that quiet fortnight we kept ourselves busy chatting constantly on all the parenting forums we could find on line, desperately spreading the word that we existed and it really paid off as slowly the orders started to trickle in.

Of course, having a good website was vital to the success of our company, allowing accessibility to anyone in the world at any time. We slowly climbed up the rankings

ISSUE 09 – MAY / JUNE 2013

OUR FIRST YEAR OF BUSINESS FLEW BY ALONG WITH ALL ITS UPS AND DOWNS, BUT AT THE END OF THAT YEAR WE HAD TURNED OVER ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT WE COULD BUILD ON THIS AND CREATE A BUSINESS THAT WOULD WORK. and soon found ourselves on page one of Google. Getting contacted by four independent retailers who sold cloth nappies and wanted to also stock our clothes was a massive breakthrough for us as there was no marketing budget to speak off, just Lucy and I sharing the one computer and of course word of mouth via the internet.

TIME TO EXPAND

Our first year of business flew by along with all its ups and downs, but at the end of that year we had turned over enough to know that we could build on this and create a business that would work. We employed a book keeper to help keep us on track, and we finally moved out of our spare bedroom

52

to a barn on an organic farm nearby. Initially the barn was only meant for us to keep our boxes of stock, but before long we were looking into how we could convert a part of the barn into new office space. We had a big room built and in July 2006, a week before Lucy gave birth to our second son, Sam, we moved in. Business continued to grow at a healthy pace, and we were able to hire a full time designer, a customer service representative and our team began to grow too.

In 2009, we began plans to acquire our own custom unit in a retail park, and in 2010 we moved from the comfort of our barn into our new premises. At the time it was daunting as it was so big compared to what we were used to, but here we are in

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We decided to expand our range to include ethically made clothing for children up to 8 years of age and also a line for new mums. However we felt that keeping our original name no longer worked because it related to our range of clothing cut specifically for cloth nappies, which we still do, so in 2008 Frugi, which means fruits of the earth in Latin, was created, and this granted us the much needed freedom to branch out and offer a range of organically made clothing that are fun, durable and comfortable for kids to wear.

WHAT’S NEXT?

Presently we have Frugi Baby, Frugi Kids and Frugi Mother, so maybe have Frugi Woman and Frugi Man, or how about going one step further and have Frugi world, it really does remain to be seen, but one thing for sure is that Frugi is not just a means for us to have our business, it is also for us to continue on our crusade in making a little change in the world in how clothing is made. By spreading our word we hopefully will influence others to do the same and believe that if everyone is willing to change just a little bit, then the sum of everyone’s energies can force the bigger players to change how they work too, and provide clothing that has been ethically sourced from only the best organic materials, just like Frugi has always done.

For more information on Frugi, where to buy and the latest from Planet Frugi please follow Frugi on twitter.com/Frugi or ‘Like’ them on Facebook, facebook.com/welovefrugi or visit their website www.welovefrugi.com

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Let CT Fertility bring its world-class IVF, egg donation and surrogacy technology to you.

During the past 20 years CT Fertility has created babies for more than 5,000 families, many in the UK and Europe, including hundreds of proud gay and lesbian couples.

As a leading American IVF center, CT Fertility specializes in IVF, egg/sperm donation, egg freezing and gestationl surrogacy.

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Q&A WITH FINERS STEPHENS INNOCENT

need to take any further legal steps to have your partner recognised legally as the child’s parent. It is undoubtedly true that the last thing you will want to do when your child is born is have to deal with lawyers and Courts – all you will be thinking about is looking after your child.

Aside from the above, I would advise you and your partner to think about entering into a carefully drafted parenting agreement prior to starting the insemination process, if you are doing this with a known donor. This entire area is still quite new for the Courts to deal with, and it is sensible to be as cautious and thorough as possible. You may have spotted a recent case where a known donor has obtained the Court’s permission to make an application for contact with a child born as a result of insemination. On top of this, and aside from legal considerations, these sorts of agreements do help parties to think about what their roles, rights and obligations may be in the future.

Although parenting agreements do not – at this point in time absolutely bind a Court if ever any question about the child came to be decided, they are good evidence for a Court of what you and your partner and the known donor intended to be the arrangements for the child in the future. Do of course bear in mind that the Court’s overriding consideration at all times is to do what is in the best interests of the child.

Q. PATERNITY LEAVE FOR GAY COUPLES?

My husband and I are two gay males who want to start our family via surrogacy. One question we have is, How much time off of work are we allowed to have to settle in our new addition to our family?

A.

This is a very interesting question at this point in time, as the government has just announced that they are going to consult on parental leave generally, including that for surrogacy. This is because, currently, intended parents through surrogacy, are not entitled to paternity or maternity leave.

Under the changes currently being considered by the government, to qualify for parental leave, intended parents in surrogacy agreements will have to meet a two-stage test, including demonstrating that they are economically active. In practice, this will likely mean that the parent will have worked for any 26 out of the 66 weeks prior to the baby’s due date. To qualify for statutory pay, it is thought that the parent must have earned an average salary equivalent to a number, currently set at £107 per week, for eight weeks prior to the fifteenth week before the baby’s due date.

All eligible parents, including by virtue of surrogacy, will be able to agree how they divide their total allotment of shared parental leave and pay entitlement between them, and will be able to transfer any remaining leave and pay from one parent to another.

The way that the government is looking to reform this area is by ensuring that the intended parents in a surrogacy arrangement who meet the criteria to apply for a Parental Order (which would then pass parental responsibility to you and to your husband) under the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 2008 and who intend to apply for one or have applied for one, will become eligible for statutory adoption leave and pay and shared parental leave.

Q. CIVIL PARTNERSHIPS & PARENTAL RIGHTS?

We are a lesbian couple looking to start our family via sperm donation.

We have been told that the process of the non-birth mother being recognised as the baby’s parent would be easier if we enter a civil partnership before the baby is born. Is this true?

A.

As with so many elements in this area, first off, I would suggest that you take legal advice on the process, just to be absolutely sure that you are both completely aware of the legal environment around the process of insemination and sperm donation.

In general terms, this area is quite tricky from a legal perspective.

So, for example, if a man donates sperm at a properly licensed clinic, that man will not be the legal parent of any child born as a result, will not have any legal obligations towards that child, will not have his name on the birth certificate, will not have to support the child financially, but at the same time, has no parental rights in relation to that child, or any say in how it will be brought up in the future.

If sperm is donated outside a licensed clinic, and the woman who is inseminated and goes on to have a child as a result is not married or not in a civil partnership, the sperm donor could be the legal parent of the child, with all of the rights and responsibilities that come with that.

However, due to a very important and recent change in the law, if you and your partner are in a civil partnership at the time a child is conceived, you and she will both be the legal parents of the child, not the donor, regardless of whether the insemination was done in a licensed clinic or not. This is very helpful, because you and your partner will not

WWW.PINK-PARENTING.COM

Finers Stephens Innocent is a Central London based law firm offering legal advice in all areas of family law and relationships for more information please visit - www.fsilaw.com

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MAY / JUNE 2013 – ISSUE 09

EXPERT VIEWS Dr. Gad Lavy, internationally acclaimed reproductive physician and founder of New England Fertility is recognised for building families through gestational surrogacy and egg donation.

Here he answers readers questions.

ASK A QUESTION AT PINK-

PARENTING.com

?

T

oday more than ever, gay couples are achieving their dream of starting a family through assisted reproductive treatments. Gay male couples looking to have children require the services of an egg donor who provides the eggs as well as a gestational carrier (surrogate) who can carry the pregnancy. For lesbian couples two fertility options are available: artificial insemination and in vitro fertilisation using donor sperm.

be present at the time of the surrogate’s embryo transfer, but of course the more the merrier!! We often invite the Intended Parents to be present during the implantation procedure via Skype,which works out well in all cases.

Q. My husband and I are both interested in starting a family via surrogacy. We are both very healthy HIV+ males, but wanted to know how this would affect our chances?

Q. How long does the surrogacy process take in the US? How much time would we need to off of work and how many trips would we need to take?

Public perception and medical advancements have made it easier and possible for HIV positive men to be parents. We work closely with the Bedford Clinic in Massachusetts where sperm from HIV positive men can be processed and safely used to create embryos.

This process is has proved successful in many cases. The Clinic is also involved in counseling the surrogate as to the safety of this process and helping her feel comfortable.

Once you are matched with a surrogate through your surrogacy agency, the medical process takes approximately 6-8 weeks. The Intended Parent(s) is required to be in our clinic at least one time to have medical testing and leave a sample to be used for the insemination of the donor’s eggs. We do not require the parents to

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CARRIERS ARE GENERALLY IN WE THAT THE WEUNDERSTAND ARE LUCKY TO BE LIVING THEIR 20’S ANDBECOME 30’S AND MUST DECISION IN AN AGETO WHERE HIVACAN HAVE HAD LEAST ONE PARENT IS AT PERSONAL AND BE MANAGED; IN THIS MODERN SUCCESSFUL PREGNANCY. ALL UNIQUE TO EACH INDIVIDUAL AGE OF HIV TREATMENT CARRIERS ARE MANY SCREENED AND INVOLVES CHOICES MALE COUPLES CAN PURSUE FOR ANDMEDICAL FACTORS CONDITIONS THAT NEED TO PREGNANCY EVEN IF BOTH THAT AFFECTS PREGNANCIES BE INITIALLY CONSIDERED. OF THEM ARE HIV-POSITIVE

their 20’s and 30’s and must have had at least one successful Q. My partner and I are a gay couple and are pregnancy. All carriers are screened for medical conditions interested in Isurrogacy abroad, but have no In addition, recommend that might affect the pregnancy. that you optimize your health idea where to go.

What are the reasons to approximately three months prior to your donation. This Gestational carriers are also US screened for the countries following: choose to travel to the over other includes cutting down on smoking and alcohol; limiting for our background treatment?

Criminal check – toxins; Your surrogate agency exposure to environmental increasing your reviews intake of the nutrient-dense gestational carriers driving record and conducts adiet. home visit. foods as part of a well-balanced Travelling to the US and working with an American fertility importantly, you–should consider all ofare theconducted implications Psychological evaluation These evaluations clinicMore offers several distinct advantages: of donating sperm.

I recommend my patients meet with an by experienced counseling teams. An interview and written Surrogacy ishealthcare legal in theprofessional US and socially acceptable for gay experienced and/or mental health personality test (PAI) is required.

If the gestational carrier is couples.

Surrogacy is legal in many states in the US. The professional to talk what donation means now and in the married her partner willabout be evaluated as well. legal assuming arrangements are made in advance and to willconsider insure future, a pregnancy results.

You’ll need Medical Evaluation – Theandgestational carrier’s medicalis that the process is simple stress free.

The surrogate the legal questions of paternity, financial questions of support, records reviewed. approvedand thethe carrier will be given will a under aare legally bindingIfofcontract surrogacy emotional questions how much contact you will agency be allowed thorough FDA approved medical evaluation. assist in getting your baby relationship home. with you the child, and eventually questions as this child Compatibility with the intended parents – Once a gestational grows into a teenager and young adult.

The US offers the best and most reputable fertility clinics, carrier In is general, identified, a clinic day is scheduled in which theintended carrier when theinsperm donor and is known by the offering the latest technology procedures such as andparents, her partner meet with the intended parents under arewhich much complicated after the the genderthings selection aremore not allowed elsewhere. guidance of our psychological counselor.

It is important thatit the pregnancy ensues and after the child is born. While may Social environment in theare UScompatible is supportive surrogacy in intended anddonate the carrier andof agreement seem parents simple to your sperm, there are aingreat deal of general and of gay parenting in particular.

The surrogates on some of the important issues surrounding the process. issues to consider. are often amenable to having a close connection with couple boththe during and following pregnancy.

Q.theHow does process workthe when using

1

2 3 4Q

a gestational carrier?

My partner andinI recently got A recent experience India where gaymarried surrogacyand was The egg donor’s eggs retrieved but in our in the US, would likearechildren, arelaboratory both of HIV+ males, banned, demonstrates the importance having the the sperm from one orinboth partnershealth. is thawed and would used to however very process in a country withgood a long traditionWhat and experience. inseminate you the donor eggs. About later,of one or two recommend be3-4 ourdays course action?

Even in countries where gay surrogacy is allowed the embryos are placed into the uterus of the Gestational Carrier. legal environment is unsettled and a substantial risk of legal Two weeks We later the pregnancy is performed.

The remaining lucky to test be living in an age where HIV complications are exists. embryos aretreatment frozen and kept in our lab for future use. can be managed; just a few years ago we

A

not gay even man be considering this question.

In this Q. I am would a single interested in having Q. What can international couples expect? age of HIVIs treatment can childrenmodern via surrogacy, there anmale agecouples limit and We welcome male couples from countries where fertility services pursue pregnancy even if aboth of them are will being single make difference, orHIV-positive. would youThis are not available to them or are restricted. In international cases often involvesI wait an assessment personal physician recommend until I ambyintheir a relationship?

the majority of the process can be accomplished remotely, with concluding that that their viral is verytolow, and thatatheir overall We understand the load decision become parent is the sperm collection and testing performed at a clinic in the health isand veryunique good. Couples to consider the health and personal to eachneed individual and involves many couple’s native country and the sperm samples shipped to New well-being the unborn child to as be they pursue family building. choices andof factors that need initially considered.

At my England Fertility for storage and then later use. Despite the fact that both partners are HIV-positive and do not clinic,Assuming I offer egg donation & surrogacy options to single males that the couples do not need to be present in the U.S. for any suffer AIDS, there areaspecial which and gay from couples.

Age is not limitingclinics factor,inand willsperm discussis part of the procedure, we encourage intended parents to meet processed, and prepared use ainstrong an egg donor your individualwashed, situation.

I believe thatfor having support with their carrier, be present for the embryo transfer and attend recipient of this practice will include completing a system andcycle. a planPart in place is essential. the birth of the baby. semen analysis with cryopreservation of sperm processed clear of HIV. Using these techniques the chance of For complimentary international Skype consultwith withlow.

Dr.Lavy, Lavy, transmission of HIVinternational to an embryo are consult exceedingly These For a acomplimentary Skype Dr. please send an email to info@nefertility.com.

To learn more about techniques require some special processes additional please send an email to info@nefertility.com.

To learnand more about gestational surrogacy pleasevisit visitwww.nefertility.com www.nefertility.com time, butsurrogacy they are hurdles that can be overcome gestational please

Expert legal advice fr from approachable, professional lawyers 24/7 service at competitive rates

Protecting your family    

civil partnerships children/surrogacy/guardianship pre and post nuptial agreements cohabitation

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Caroline Kelly caroline.kelly@fsilaw.com +44 (0)20 7344 5565 ask Caroline a question at www.fsilaw.com/pink-parenting or scan here www.fsilaw.com/pink-

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AND FINALLY...

lan Turing, an extraordinary Cambridge mathematician who masterminded the cracking of the German Enigma code, is said to have changed the outcome of the Second World War, however, his vision went far beyond this crucial achievement, as before the war started he had formulated the concept of the universal machine, and in 1945 turned this into the first design for a digital computer.

Alan’s far-sighted plans for the digital era forged ahead into a vision for Artificial Intelligence, but in 1952, he was arrested for openly declaring he was in a gay relationship after reporting a burglary in his home. At that time, this act was deemed as ‘gross indecency’ rendering him a criminal and as a result, was subjected to the most humiliating and barbaric treatment in the hope of curing him of his homosexuality. Tragically in June 1954, at the age of 41, Alan committed suicide and one of Britain’s greatest scientific minds was lost forever.

Since then thousands have come together to demand justice for Alan and recognition from the Government in the way he was treated. In 2009, then Prime Minister Gordon Brown delivered a well overdue apology stating he was happy to have the chance to say how deeply sorry he was for what had happened to Alan, and thousands of other gay men, who were convicted unnecessarily under homophobic laws.

In 2012 Bletchley Park Trust, based at the historic site of the secret British codebreaking activities during WWII, teamed up with William Newman, son of the creator of Monopoly, Max Newman, to produce a commemorative ‘Alan Turing Edition’ using personal photos of Alan along with huts and blocks replacing the infamous houses and hotels in the game.

Last year, to celebrate LGBT History Month, diversity trainer Elly Barnes featured Turing’s life to exemplify how LGBT people have made important contributions to our society and yet how prejudice robbed them of a dignified and fulfilling personal life.

© Science Museum Photo Studio / National Physical Laboratory Archives

23 JUNE 1912 07 JUNE 1954

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