FEATURE
Hope
for the Holidays HOW TURN COMPLAINING INTO PROBLEM-SOLVING AT CHRISTMAS BY BILL FARREL
"H
ey, Dad, did you see my Christmas list? I am really hoping to get a phone this year. I’ll be okay with a new snowboard but I am really hoping for a phone.” “Dad, I am so excited this Christmas because I am going to get a china doll to put in my room. It is going to be beautiful and I can talk to her every day and tell her everything that happened during my day. I told Santa at the mall and mom and grandma that all I want for Christmas is a china doll. I can’t wait.” Jason was glad his son and daughter were excited about Christmas but before he could even respond, his wife blurted out, “Honey, I told my mom and dad that we will be at their house Christmas morning. I’m not sure when we will see your family, but we at least have my family figured out.” The flurry of expectations was making it difficult to remember that Christmas is a great time to celebrate the arrival of the Savior and connect with the people we love the most. Jason was trying, but questions haunted his thinking and blurred his perspective: • Why do everyone’s expectations ramp up at Christmas time? • When are we supposed to set up our own traditions rather than just fold into the traditions our parents established? • Why does my wife make commitments before she talks to me? I think I am pretty agreeable, but it is irritating not having a say. • How do I keep a focus on Jesus when all my kids can talk about are phones and china dolls? He silently prayed, “Well, Jesus, I am going to do my best, but there may not be any room at the inn for you again this year.”
18 SEVEN NOVEMBER / DECEMBER 2018
There is certainly no way to erase the stress of Christmas, but there are ways to align our perspective and adjust the focus of the holiday season.
ALIGN YOUR PERSPECTIVE Stress can be created by real circumstances or wrong conclusions. Philippians 4:8-9 is an intense reminder that we can intentionally influence our thoughts and attitudes. “... if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things... And the God of peace will be with you.” Stress encourages thoughts that are deceptive, disruptive and destructive. As the Christmas celebration was developing, Jason found himself entertaining thoughts he would never recommend to others. I think my wife would rather spend time with her family than with me. My kids think I am an online retail store. I wonder if there was a meeting I wasn’t invited to where everyone decided to irritate me for Christmas? Maybe I will boycott Christmas this year and see how everybody likes that. He knew these were not good ideas, but the stress was making them seem worthwhile. Step one was to realign his thinking with thoughts that were true and trustworthy. Jesus, I am grateful you are a big enough deal that everyone wants to make Christmas as rewarding as possible. I am grateful I have a family that wants to spend time together. I am impressed that my kids think I have unlimited resources to work with.
