LIVES WORTH LEADING
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH
LEARNING TO RISE AGAIN WHEN LIFE OVERPOWERS US BY COLIN MCCARTNEY
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lijah experienced a major mental health crisis. In 1 Kings 19 we read that he told God to let him die because he had enough. Elijah was public enemy number one, a political agitator King Ahab declared as being the “biggest troublemaker in Israel” (1 Kings 18:17). He survived three years of drought and famine, spent years hiding in the desert and, right before his mental breakdown, killed 450 prophets of Baal. After walking a day in the desert, he laid down under a tree to die. His words say it all; “I have had enough, Lord.” (1 Kings 19:4). I understand this as I too have experienced a similar breakdown. By God’s grace my days of depression only lasted about a week but it provided insight into what so many people experience for longer periods of time. I had been running hard doing urban ministry in tough government housing neighbourhoods and gone through the murder of a beloved youth who served with me, dealt with a horrible tragedy in which a young child drowned and then went through my own trial in which I broke my neck hoping to walk again. All of this (and there were more) took place within a six month time span and I; “had enough”. I remember waking up one morning crying my eyes out in my dark room unable to summon the energy to get out of bed, to open my blinds to sunlight, to start my day. This continued for six long days of deep depression. My emotional
MY EMOTIONAL tank was dry and I was tends to reveal what is TANK WAS DRY AND unable to muster any happening inside of us. I WAS UNABLE TO hope for my life and As you try to hear God in future. It was a dark, silence thoughts, fears, MUSTER ANY HOPE dark time. worries and stressors FOR MY LIFE AND “I have had enough!” reveal themselves to you FUTURE. This state of mental as obstacles blocking breakdown can happen you from hearing God. to any of us at any time. Having gone This is actually a good thing as the through it myself I cannot help but Spirit is revealing to you all the things feel for my brothers and sisters in the controlling your soul and now you midst of this kind of depression. No have the opportunity to look them judging permitted here as it is not a straight in the eye and give them over sin to feel depressed. It is the result to God. of life overpowering us to the point Finally, to remain mentally healthy where we have had enough and we we need others around us. We need to finally breakdown. be involved in helping others. When Though we cannot judge those we serve others it truly is medicine suffering mental health issues we can to our souls. However, we also need take preventative measures to help to have good friends who we do life us before a mental breakdown occurs. together. By caring for each other The first thing we must do is to learn and feeling safe to be vulnerable to be self-aware of what is happening with those we love, we receive grace in our souls. from our community who lovingly Generally speaking, this is very are able to detect troublesome things hard for men as we tend to lose touch affecting our wellbeing. Remember, with our emotional side so we need you were never intended to walk the to practice the art of listening and road of life alone. God and others observing how we are reacting to walk with you. life. What are your emotions telling you about the state of your soul? Are you losing your patience quicker than usual? Are you easily succumbing / COLIN MCCARTNEY is an ordained to fits of rage? These are two major minister, speaker, and a bestselling indicators that reveal much about author. He is also the founder of your emotional health. UrbanPromise Toronto and now leads A second thing we need to do is to Connect Ministries in Toronto where he, block off at least 15 minutes a day to his wife Judith, and their two children spend time in contemplative prayer. reside. For information in booking Colin What happens when we do this type as a speaker, please visit of listening prayer is that the silence connectministries.org.
WINTER 2020 SEVEN 33
