The Testing Times - August 2009

Reports

Reviews

Legends

Cranks

Riders

AUGUST 2009

Through this illustrious publication I think it would be fair to say we’ve got to know a bit more about some of cycling’s legends - the riders we used to read about when time trialling got decent press and such gifted journo’s such as Bernard Thompson, Dennis Donovan and Martin Ayres used to pen their pieces of literary genius in the interests of our beloved pastime.

As a team we’ve managed to track down a number of true “greats” from the world of time trialling and whilst one or two have been reluctant to come forward, in the majority of cases we’ve been fortunate enough to come up with one thing or another - some of it might even have been remotely interesting.

Many of time trialling’s icons still remain targeted - Cottington, Roach, Lloyd, Woodburn, Honk and Baz still rate highly on the top of our hit-list and hopefully, by the time any future issues of Testing Times have gone to print, our intrepid reporters will have tracked them down and be in a position to tell us what made them tick.

In this issue, one of cycling’s superstars of yesteryear, Paul Gittins, tells us about his ambitions to turn back the clock and return to top flight testing.

Bearing in mind what Paul achieved over the many years he ruled the roost in both short and long distance time trialling we couldn’t have hoped for a

INSIDE: THE RETURN OF PAUL GITTINS - CYCLING’S SUPERSTAR OF THE 70s S EE

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Carbon

Old Skool

Kit

WHAT’S IN THIS ISSUE? NEW FEATURE - Top 5 Smelliest Testers!! The truth is told!!!

Old Skool Series update Harry Hill - by Peter Whitfield Gambling - on / in lycra

Time trial legend Paul Gittins features inside!

Photo courtesy Andy Waters.

How to be a Scratch man—Part 2 by that nice Mr Kish Frankly Franklin

bigger “name” to add to our “You’ve been framed” list.

Carole Gandy - by Sue Fenwick

Thanks Paul...it’s been a pleasure.

Who’s Hot - and Who’s Not!

And…

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….at last we’ve got someone on the continental professional circuit that will allow us domestic testers to compare our talents against the likes of Contador, Cancellara and Armstrong.

Bradley Wiggins took 2:41 out of Jack Green in Kent Valley RCs open 10 in June (before getting dq’d for using a naughty wheel). Does that mean that Green would have finished 153rd out of the 158 finishers in the Stage 18 time trial of this year’s TdF and in so doing beat Fabian Wegman in the process? Good game eh?

Photos Text All there is to know about caring for your latex, rubber and leather gear by Nob (well who else?)

Even a competition and a challenge!

WARNING: Contents may offend Bigger and better...are there no limits?

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Top 5 smelly Testers No 5 - Sam Barker A new series following on from an earlier reference in this very same publication to smelly cyclists (something wot Ian Franklin wrote!).

Sam Barker (Planet X) and Alan Crane (Team Slam Bam Design) - even Barker appears to be overcome with the fumes.

Photo courtesy David Jones Do you know any “testers’ that smell? We’re on the look out for the smelliest! If you’ve ever held up anyone you’ve been only too pleased to push off let us know! We’ve already got the top 5 lined up but are “flexible” if anyone has any particularly nice pictures of the fairer sex to offer. ;-) ian@planet-x-bikes.com

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Bystanders at one of Team Sanjan Design’s recent open events couldn’t help but notice the arrival of Sam Barker (Planet X) when he turned up at the start “dressed” in a masculine blend of luxurious, woody and arid fragrances. The not unpleasant aroma was left wafting around the start area for several minutes after Barker’s departure. As a measure of the longevity of the product being used, (we’ll be using this as a measure from now on) riders from as far afield as those “on an 8” were still remarking on the scent long after Barker had left the scene. Naturally Barker was on an “0” - it doesn’t take a scientist to work out that’s 8 minutes…..quality stuff eh?

Alan Crane, Team Sanjan Design’s chief pusher-offer, rated Barker’s smell highly. One of his closest “confidents” let it slip that Crane was reluctant to let Barker go after the 5 4 3 2 1 countdown such was the effect the aroma had on him. “I’ve smelt all sorts in my long and illustrious career as a pusher-offer and consider myself fortunate to have been blessed with such a sensitive nasal cavity. I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today without that!

“Whatever Sam was wearing was something else and to be quite honest I haven’t needed to wash since being that close to him. It was powerful stuff all right!!” he might have said!

(If Mr Crane hasn’t washed since then he won’t be featuring in the top 4 … then again….he just might!!)

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Old Skool Series snubbed by Round 2 winner Perkin takes to three wheels

Adrian Perkin (Godric CC) en-route to a place in time trial history. Photo courtesy Mark Cozens www.mphotography.co.uk

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East Anglian CC Event winner, the right honourable Adrian Perkin (Godric CC) appears to have snubbed the Country’s leading time trial competition (Planet X’s Old Skool Series) by turning his attention to three wheels. Close friends of the area’s most successful “comeback kid” of 2009 have reported that Perkin did not consider the Series to be hard enough. Despite having left the field for dead when he won the East Anglian round in March, he has not entered any further qualifying events leaving the competition wide open for the lesser mortals that yearn for their 15 minutes of fame.

Regular readers of Testing Times will no doubt recall Perkin flying round the B25/4 course near Attleborough in an unforgettable 1-39-04. His time, when seen in print, was questioned by more than one keen enthusiast - “You sure that’s right?” Well we jest not! A 1-39 indeed...which is no mean feat going Old Skool!

Perkin, on the other hand, is said to have considered that ride “a breeze” and in the quest for more of a challenge decided to make it even harder by adding a third wheel. While still “flicking” deep section rims, tri-bars, “funny pointed hats” and all other “fandangled, poncy aero gizmos”, Perkin knocked out an incredible 1-4-50 in Norwich ABC’s promotion on the same B25/4 course in early July.

Testing Times’ reporters are endeavoring to track down Perkin to research the phenomenal improvement for review in a future issue.

In the meantime, Planet X management fear Perkin may be about to undermine its very own and highly successful “It wer ard Boggle Hole weekend” by challenging northern hard man Wayne Randle to a man-o-man, no holds barred “Fisticuffs in the Far East Furor”. The word on the street is that Perkin is planning to head up a “Whelk Weekend” at Great Yarmouth (that’s in East Anglia ….about as far east as you can get!) during which any competitor’s real constitution will become evident. Further details may, or may not, be released shortly.

A slap on each of Randle’s cheeks with a wet fish has been issued by Perkin (isn’t that something they did in the olden days with a glove to issue a challenge?).

While Perkin continues to go from strength to strength, Randle hasn’t improved on his year’s fastest ‘10’ time which he set in City RC Hull’s Old Skool event at Easter (and in which he whimped out by going all aero!). Perkin is said to be “unimpressed”.

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Harry Hill… and the first subhour 25

by Peter Whitfield Harry Hill, who died in February this year at the age of 92, was a brilliant rider who was potentially among the greats of time-trialling. His versatile career had many highlights on road and track, but it is often forgotten that in 1938 he became the first man in England to achieve every timetriallist’s dream – breaking the hour for the 25.

Born in Clayton-le-Moors in 1916, Harry and his family moved to Sheffield, where his first club was the Sheffield Phoenix. By the time he was twenty – in the year of the Berlin Olympics – he was one of the fastest 25-milers in the country, riding 1:2’s and 1:3’s, at a time when Frank Southall’s record stood at 1:0:59. He was selected for the Olympic team pursuit squad, and having been granted time off from his work as a motor mechanic, he set off to ride from Sheffield to London, to join the others for final training at Herne Hill.

They took the bronze medal at Berlin, but one of his chief memories was arriving back at Victoria Station without a penny, and facing a 200-mile ride back to Sheffield! He was about 30 miles from home when exhaustion set in, and he thumbed a ride in a lorry, telling the driver, “I’ve just won a medal in the Olympic Games.”

“Well done lad,” replied the driver, “Chuck t’bike in t’back and I’ll see thee home.” When he died, Harry was believed to be one of the two last surviving British participants of the Berlin Olympics.

Harry was such an admired rider that in 1937 a fund was organised by Cycling magazine to send him to Milan to attack the hour record,

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which he did in great style, setting a new world amateur mark of 27 miles 1124 yards. At the end of that year he turned professional for John Bull tyres. His first pro race was a pursuit at Herne Hill against the world pro road champion, Eloi Meulenberg, which Hill won convincingly, catching his man in eight laps.

Harry set his sights on the sub-hour 25 in 1938, but of course as a professional he could not compete in open time-trials any more, so it would have to be a private ride. The 59-minute ride had been long talked about, and Southall was the man fancied to do it, but never quite managed it. There was a strong added motivation for English riders because of the strange fact that the hour had report-

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edly been broken as far back as October 1934 in Ireland, by a rider named Aloysius Donegan of Portarlington. Riding a course near Navan in County Meath, Donegan had not only beaten the hour, but well and truly smashed it, recording 59:05.

Only a couple of weeks later Donegan recorded 2:3:47 for a 50, almost two minutes faster than the English comp record at that time.

Donegan’s sub-hour ride wasn’t exactly given the headline treatment in the English cycling press, and it has to be admitted that there was a fair amount of scepticism about it: had the course really been measured correctly, it was asked?

This scepticism increased in 1936 when George Fleming, while on

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holiday in Ireland, recorded a time of 57:56 in a private trial on the same course. Now Fleming was a class rider, and much later – after the war – he would become the first man inside two hours for the 50. But suddenly to go fully three minutes faster than Southall’s English competition seemed frankly incredible. In 1937 riding back in England, Fleming took just one second off of Southall’s time.

Using the old O2 course on the A1 in South Yorkshire ...he had the idea of riding the course in the reverse direction, from north to south, to take advantage of the prevailing southwesterly wind on the run home...and came home to triumph in 59:57.

So the challenge was there, to break the hour in a manner that could allow no doubt, and Harry was determined to do it. By the summer of 1938, Fleming had taken the record down to 1:0:16, so the race for a slot in the history books was definitely on. But it proved a tough proposition, and it took Harry three attempts. Using the old O2 courses on the A1 in South Yorkshire which he knew well, he rode a 1:0:39 and then a 1:0:29. These times were much faster than he had done as an amateur, but to chip away that last half-minute was evidently going to require something special. Perhaps that something special came when he had the idea of riding the course in the reverse direction, from north to south, to take advantage of the prevailing south-westerly wind on the run home, for finally in the last week of June 1938, he got it. Starting at 5 am, the breeze was already fresh, and he hammered to the 12-mile turn in

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31 minutes, just 24 mph. He then picked up speed for the return as planned, pushing up to 26 mph on his 84-inch fixed, and came home to triumph in 59:57. The ride was timed by officials from the RTTC and the NCU, so there was not a shadow of doubt about it.

Harry took two minutes off Southall’s record to break the RRA 50 figures with a 1-44-30 riding a 92” fixed.

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Harry’s time was reported in the press, but of course it was not a competition record because he was a professional. The fact that it never appeared in the RTTC record-book has meant that his achievement has often been overlooked: it was somehow stigmatised because it was by a professional. In November Harry travelled up to Edinburgh to attack the RRA 50 record, and took two minutes off Southall’s mark with 1:44:30, riding on a 92-inch fixed.

It was in June 1939 that Ralph Dougherty of the Leamington C. & A.C. finally took the RTTC 25 record inside the hour, with his time of 59:29. But it wasn’t until 1946 that Bas Francis set a time in England that was the best achieved anywhere in competition, improving at last on that slightly mysterious time of Donegan’s, a dozen years before.

In late August 1939 Harry travelled to Milan to take part in the World Championships, but everyone’s mind was on the impending war, and the event was cancelled at the last minute. Harry had to dash back across France in hasty retreat, as did Reg Harris and the others. The war brought his career to a halt, and afterwards he was kept out of the sport as an ex-professional. The 1940s and 50s should have been his best years, and he could undoubtedly have won championships and broken records. When he was finally allowed back in, he won the VTTA BAR no less than five times between 1972 and 1983, and in 1986 he became the first 70-year-old to get under the hour with, 59:54. When he retired from full-time work at the age of sixty, he celebrated by riding across America! Harry Hill was a versatile and truly great rider, who has a unique place in time-trial history.

A legend...and a really nice bloke to boot….Ed

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HOW TO BE A ‘SCRATCH-MAN’ (Part Two – from when your bum first touches the saddle!)

This two-part article is loosely based on one of the most humorous pieces that I have ever seen in ‘Cycling’, circa 1966. I’m unsure of the author and have been unable to trace the article, but feel that it is right to document that although I have updated this from over 40 years ago, the original idea is not mine.

So, with grateful thanks and acknowledgements to the unknown author …….

(So, having read Part One in last month’s Testing Times and having executed everything properly, you should by now have a few glances in your direction and possibly some daring onlookers slowly shuffling towards your Majestic presence …. Now read on!)

How to be a ‘Scratch-Man’ (Part Two – from when your bum first touches the saddle!)

The Warm-Up – This is always done as fast as possible starting about 20 seconds behind someone unfancied, usually on a ‘9’ number.

Being Pushed Off – Arrive exactly 59 seconds before your start time and greet both timekeeper and pusher-off with their names. Start sheet will reveal the name of the former and asking around will identify the latter.

A polite greeting of ‘Good morning Frank, good morning Peter’ will impress spectators, who will now be gathered there in swarms to see your starting effort. the unfancied rider in front and when you’re about 5 seconds behind him, slow right up – the point has been made; you don’t need to pass him!

Retrace and repeat once or twice more taking care not to get mowed down by the fancied ‘10’ rider behind you.

Closing your eyes with 30 seconds to go and raising your head for divine guidance may well be interpreted as the mark of something special that is about to happen!

Start as powerfully as you can with a Lloydy-ish war cry and don’t worry – it doesn’t last too long!

The Actual Ride – Strangely enough, one of the least important By now, almost everyone will be parts of the day!! aware of you – crowds of Hutch admirers may be contemplating slowly Look stylish and use huge drifting towards you as your ‘day- gears. Completing the course and slave’ applies embrocation to your actually getting a time is risky, so legs – you can’t do it; you’re holding consider an early bath at an opporyour mobile to your ear listening to tune time when out of sight of the your non-existent helper at the turn starting point. This also helps the reporting traffic conditions. bike maintain it’s immaculate appearance, as you don’t get too many marks after the short distance on the road.

The trick here is to adopt a relaxed Your occasional ‘ah-ha’, ‘OK’ and face for about half a minute whilst ‘right then’ will add authenticity to The Post-Ride Analysis – Whatever riding at 101%. You should gain on your ‘phone-y’ conversation. you do, even if you win by minutes

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and break competition record, you MUST act disappointed. All manner of previously rehearsed excuses will now come into play ranging from wrong ratio of base metals in the frame alloy, through various items of mechanical failure (loose seat post is a good ‘un) right up to being baulked and having to circumnavigate a roundabout twice.

your notification by post for an Oscar nomination.

So, there you have it; how to create an aura of being an unlucky fast-man without having to train ….. and if all goes well, your reputation will be established and after your departure, people will be whispering of what could have been on that day had luck been on your side.

The Result Board – and …..

Golden Rule 2 – Never write down anyone else’s times. It’s unimportant to a man on a mission such as you. Just stand there remorsefully sighing and shaking your head. Be prepared to answer lots of questions about ‘what happened’.

Refuse all tea, coffee and cakes – your perfect dietary balance may be thrown out of equilibrium. As optional, you can announce that the cakes look nice, and if only you were allowed ….. !!

In closing, I offer one quick word of warning – your body may treat your warming-up efforts as high intensity interval training and as a result, you may actually become quite fast off the blocks.

If this is the case, consider giving up time trialling, writing your memoirs and dropping a quick line to Sir Chris to tell him that you’ll see him in 2012.

Await his well-publicised reply of ‘on yer bike!’

Thank the organiser, shake his hand and depart, awaiting

by that nice Mr Kish (aged 131)

Alf Engers (left) the ultimate Scratch-man.

Photo from Bernard Thompson’s Cycling Archive.

Do YOU want to be a Scratch-man? Enter one of Planet X’s remaining Old Skool Series events and you’re in with (at the very most) a 1 in 120 chance - much better odds than the National Lottery don’t you think?

Participation alone will result in world-wide recognition - claim your 15 minutes of fame by being part of it.

Be there … or be square!

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Cycling Characters and Unsung Heroes

by Ian Franklin Let’s face it. Every club has its own characters, oddballs, strange people and committee members.

I’m one of those, our lovely editor may be one and I’m sure, you the reader, may be the other.

I was first alerted to this phenomena in my first club, the now-deceased Folkestone and District Cycling Club. There were characters in that club that will live with me forever. As usual though, I’ll change their names to protect the guilty and to stop me getting sued. First up was the Chairman – a Labour Councilor who used to live on the same council estate as me. I’ll call him Gordon Blair. He was probably one of a small handful of socialist councilors in a town that was Tory dominated, but had served so long and was so popular that the Tories once voted for him to be town mayor.

A bit lethal on his bike was our Gordon. He only had one eye and couldn’t ride in a straight line. Club runs with him were fun as you can imagine! For a start he always rode fixed wheel and East Kent is not exactly known for its flat roads (that is if you exclude the Romney Marshes). He was quite, shall we say, portly and sweated buckets on every club run. Indeed, he produced so much external liquid that we were able to fill our aluminum water bottles by holding them under his chin whilst riding along. On one occasion his glass eye fell out and we were all off our bikes and scrabbling around the verge trying to find it.

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Dan Dare would have been a cycling character if he’d had a bike.

He was backed by his sidekick, the club’s treasurer I believe, known as ‘The Flycatcher’. Forget about my erstwhile colleague’s dirty fly-strewn bike – this guy was the real deal. He used to ride for mile after mile with his mouth wide open and every mile or so spit out the mouthful of flies that he had trapped. Covered in globules of saliva they usually landed on the guy riding behind to his left, so we soon learnt that was a place to be avoided. Any new rider was always told to ride in that exact spot where the poor sod would remain until he wised up. I’ve often wondered if The Flycatcher was responsible for Gordon’s lost eye.

Every club has a character who lives on his bike, eschews any close contact with members of the opposite sex and is a fount of all

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knowledge. Welcome ‘The Sheriff’.

He always encouraged the kids, taught us many skills and these days would be the cornerstone of any GoRide scheme. He owned the first set of rollers I’d ever seen and we spent hours in his garden shed learning to pedal a tiny fixed gear whilst balancing on said rollers. His elderly mum fed us the most wonderful home made cakes and cups of tea. The great thing about The Sheriff was that he lent out bikes or wheels so us sproggs could ride the local tens or open 25s on the Q8, and my first decent bike was bought from him secondhand. It was a Macleans with an extra long wheelbase which I used for some years. Other bikes were an all-chrome RO Harrison, a Claud Butler (when they were real bikes), a Hetchins and a couple of trikes. He had the lot.

Off course like most characters he had his eccentricities. His was ‘the karate chop’. Any untoward event such as a puncture, a broken cable, a bad time trial or inclement weather used to produce the famous edge-ofhand karate chop on his handlebars accompanied by the risque word ‘damn’. We had the last laugh when he once chopped his bars so hard that they snapped in two. In those days we were all without motor vehicles so he had to manipulate his trike for the 24 miles home with a dangling handlebar and a bit of wood stuck in the remaining bit of his bars. I lost touch with him but many years later I learnt that he’d met a spinster in the village, given up riding and spent his time playing with a model railway that he had built in his garden.

Mike the Midget lived just around the corner. I always saw him as a

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somewhat privileged individual as his father owned the only radio and record player shop in town and my mum used to rent a radio from them.

Mike did his best to keep the club going as the numbers dwindled over the years and was always full of misguided enthusiasm. Only a few years older than me I always thought he acted and dressed like an old man and until a few years ago still rode around Kent lanes in plus fours (or woolly shorts on hot days), a very old Folkestone & District jersey and long colourful socks. I’m certain that when young potential members came along and saw this oddball, they beat a hasty retreat. Its no coincdence that Velo Club Deal went from strength to strength as the Folkestone declined.

Finally my mate George. Gorgeous George. We went to school together and whilst I flew at the top of the A stream, poor George struggled at the bottom of the Cs. Mind you he was a quicker rider than me and his parents were reasonably well off so George was able to afford a top-of-the-range something or the other and always looked quite cool. When I was eighteen he was really miffed that I’d got an apprenticeship on Cycling & Mopeds (that’s our comic before it became Spor Teef Weekly), so he set about undermining me in the best way he could. Back in the midsixties the comic used to do a weekly column with snippets of info and silly stories from all over. I’d been home for the weekend and George told me that “the club’s new rule is that all riders must use their bikes for the club room, if they turn up by car it’ll cost double the club night fee”. I duly reported this to the editor Alan Gayfer who told me to write it up and put it in the snippets column, which I duly did.

On Wednesday, publication day, the ‘phone calls came in from an enraged Folkestone readeship. Gordon,

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Spiderman probably never EVER rode a bike but he’s many people’s hero….as is Gordon Hart (Icknield RC) course-measurer / timekeeper extraordinaire and organizer of the Luton / Icknield “12” since Pontius was a pilot...an unsung hero if ever there was one.

Photo from Icknield RC’s web-site

Flycatcher, Sheriff and Mike were all on the line demanding a retraction for this outrageous lie. Gorgeous George had got his own back and I was well and truly set up. Fortunately, Alan saw the funny side.

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Now talking about working on the comic, I won’t go into the late Alan’s eccentricities but he was no doubt the best editor that the magazine had ever had. He loved the sport and he also loved to set you up. In those days, pre-computer and all that, we used to be in the office on Sunday evenings to take copy (ie race reports and results) on the ‘phone and put the last news pages to bed. It used to take virtually all night. On my first evening I was given a set of headphones, a typewriter and a pile of paper and told to take copy from Anne Horn, the Scottish correspondent. Anne was in a penny ‘phone box somewhere in the far north. It was no doubt cold, wet and windy. I couldn’t understand her thick Scottish accent so mistake number one: I kept asking her to repeat which annoyed her a bit. Mistake number two was to ask her to slow down as I couldn’t type.

This copy-taking session just went on and on as she gave me the unpronounceable names of riders who rode for unpronounceable clubs. I think Anne was used to doing this in twenty minutes so by the time 55 minutes had expired she’d run out of pennies and run short of temper.

However, I duly compiled the results, they were published in that week’s comic and Wednesday morning once again produced a flurry of ‘phone calls from anguished riders and clubs miffed at being called such things as Bert McFeather of Clacking Chickens CC or Mac MacMac of Wren Threw Shire Willies. I later learnt that on the following Sunday evening Anne pleaded with Alan to keep me off the ‘phones. I think I had to make tea and clean bikes instead.

Do YOU know an unsung hero?

Let us know about him / her. ian@planet-x-bikes.com

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From Jakarta to K16 …All for his VTTA Standard!

by Alan Roberts Cyclists are well known for ‘having a rush of blood to the head’, usually however, after a night’s sleep, the good idea has turned out to be impossible. That is unless your name is Andrew G. Clarke. Three years my junior, Andrew followed my footsteps, or should I say wheel marks. A Shropshire lad and member of the rival Mid-Shropshire Wheelers, he was brought up back in the 70s on the unforgiving roads known to anyone who has ridden a ‘D’ course in North Shropshire. Immersed in the folklore which was prevalent at that time, in what was primarily the ‘Alf says nod’ era, he was hooked on time trialling and gradually heightened the bar as he went, eventually winning the Shropshire CCA ‘25’ championship in the late 70’s, before pursuing his dream of a fast ‘25’ and looking good at the same time. Not always easy. Those around then may remember his trademark headband, with his mop of dark curly hair catching the wind as he went. Despite this, he still did a 53.42, in 1982, on the old E72, very respectable ride on the day as it was won by ‘25’ maestro of that time, Martin Pyne, with a ‘50’. Engers himself, on yet another comeback managed a ‘52’. Andrew’s diet of short distance training curtailed any longer event ambitions and at the end of 1984 he hung up his racing wheels, concentrated on work and disappeared from the scene.

An attempted comeback in 1991 was too much, and with that he set about

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of age came up - bearing in mind his once lean, mean, racing machine of a body was now 99kg - it seemed like a tough challenge.

Then long time friend, Tony James, suggested joining the Merseyside Vets and trying to attain his standards at 10, 25, 30 and 50 miles. This was all that Andrew needed to galvanise himself into action.

Andrew Clarke Southend and County ‘25’, 53:42, 6 June 1982 life in Indonesia, where, after a divorce, he met his second wife, Dea, and started a new young family. His job working for Diageo, owners of Guinness, Johnnie Walker, Gordon’s, Smirnoff and 300 other alcoholic beverages, took him all around the world, and as the lifestyle took its toll, he piled on the pounds. Living out of a suitcase and abuse of the body by sampling his wares as he went, left him far from any level of fitness at all.

However, once a cyclist always a cyclist, and those memories and friendships made many years previous, were never far from his thoughts. So when the idea of riding 50 miles at 50 years

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After starting to ride his bike again in September, 2008, the cobwebs were blown away on the poorly surfaced roads of Jakarta. With speed bumps every half mile and traffic only moving along at 20 mph, this task was going to require patience! This he displayed as he strived to shed some pounds and retrieve some of his former fitness.

His arrival in the UK on 2nd June saw the start of 4 very hectic weeks, catching up with family, old friends, and racing just about everything that was on offer.

Bikes, clothing, courses, training had all changed dramatically in 25 years and current methods were somewhat difficult to absorb. But absorb them he did and the day after landing, he threw himself into the Oswestry Paragon ‘10’ and somehow produced a remarkable 24.00! Shock to the system this was, but also confirmation that ‘there was life in the old dog……..’. The customary headband was also out of storage, soaking the sweat from under his new

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morning’s Shirley RC ‘50’, on a harder than anticipated course. After a fast first ‘25’ the legs screamed as he passed the timekeeper in 2.10.03 with a plus of 17.35 in the bag. He had done it, 50 at 50, and considering his best ever was only 1.59 this was, under the circumstances, one to be proud of.

Andrew Clarke Midland Vets ‘25’, K16, 59:18, 21 June 2009 aero helmet and with those curly locks giving way to a ‘number 3’, this fit the bill perfectly. Always a man for speed, between the ‘10’ on the Wednesday and the weekend he found time to take a trip down memory lane in his Porsche 911 Turbo , a boy’s toy he could not give up when he left these shores. This was given some action during the trip over, but never distracted him from the main objective.

With the first test at 50 miles due in the Manchester Wheelers event, a wet three laps of Chelford was considered a hindrance to the long term plan, and so the energy was saved for the following morning’s ‘25’ on the more familiar roads of Shropshire.

As a lad he had learned his trade on these roads over 30 years ago.

D25/8, Prees Heath the venue and Chester RC putting on the ‘Alf Jones Memorial’ ‘25’, full of adrenalin Andrew did a 1.2.22, well inside the standard for his age. Two days later and only a week after landing at Manchester, his consistency was evident with a 1.2.12, done in the

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Shropshire CCA Championship ‘25’. No win this time but happy reflections back to the late 70’s, early 80’s, when he himself managed three senior titles. The last of these in 1982, was some five minutes slower than his all time personal best. I think this demonstrates perfectly the toughness of our Shropshire courses.

By now he was beginning to realise that the roads were as dire as the day he left, but knew that the efforts he was making would stand him in good stead for a possible sub hour ride on one of his, and mine come to that, all time favourite courses, the K16, ahh!! Before then, after a few days recovery it was a trip to the Midlands and the Redditch Road & Path CC ‘10’, held on the K33/10. This proved to be his best attempt at the distance, recording a 22.58 for a plus 4.35.

Well-chuffed with this, he had achieved what he had hoped/ dreamed of during those long hard months of preparation. If this wasn’t enough, he rode the following

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With the National ‘50’ pencilled in for the following week there was still a chance to improve, however after checking out the course during the week, it was decided that he wanted no part of the action, due to safety concerns. This as it turned out was a wise move, as the day turned out to be tough and any chance of an improvement was slim to none at all.

However, with all his pent up energy, he tackled the following morning’s ‘25’ on the much loved and fondly remembered K16 with added gusto. Run by the Midland Vets, the day was cool with a cross wind, and with a 6.45am start, there was no chance of any help from the traffic.

So it was all down to fitness and how much he wanted it, and Andrew wanted it, to get under would help cap this crazy return to the British Time Trialling scene. Four weeks of madness, and he didn’t disappoint as he stopped the watch on 59.18. Another plus, this time 11.49. I think he sent me the text with his time as he rode back to the HQ, he was so delighted.

With three standards achieved it was just down to the Shropshire CCA ‘30’ to complete the set. Back on the familiar Shawbirch to Tern Hill stretch and with recently layed chippings, there was no easy ride here.

On top of this, the night turned out to be very hot and windy, with a hard leg to the turn. Now getting back into the groove, Andrew was learning that a fast start is not always the answer, so on this occasion he took a slightly more controlled ride out into

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harder than expected, so finishing off with a 23.40 was no disgrace. 29 days, 10 races, 4 standards gained.

This shows what can be achieved with enthusiasm and desire.

The trip would not have been complete without returning home with his VTTA Standards Plaque, so a chance was taken that there would be no last minute improvements and I wrote a grovelling email to John Cook from Brunwin Engraving, explaining the circumstances. John then pulled out all the stops and from email to delivery to presentation, including a weekend, only 5 days had elapsed. Excellent service John, thanks from us both.

Alan presenting Andrew with Standards Plaque.

Headbands rule ok! the wind, and rode a strong finish, ending up with a 1.14.38 for a creditable plus of 10.42, taking the category ‘B’ prize into the bargain. Job done, all standards set, showing the same determination he had shown all those years ago.

With the pressure now off, there were still two attempts at the ‘10’ and another crack at the ‘25’. However the weekend weather for the Worcester St John’s ‘10’ was again hot and windy and with a rolling course, the end result was 23.44, still well up the final order

but not quite enough. The following morning’s Rhyl RC ‘25’ was the ‘last chance saloon’ as far as improving the ‘25’ went. With a good road surface and two and a half laps of the St Asaph/Abergele circuit to cover, there was genuine hope of an improvement. Despite his best efforts, Andrew had to settle for a 1.00.32, after struggling on the drags into a rising easterly breeze. With the holiday almost over, it was all guns blazing in the Team Westmead 88 ‘10’ on the flat J2/1.Again the evening turned out to be hot, sticky and

At the time of writing Andrew had just left for home, but is already in talks with the lovely Dea for another trip next year. His thoughts are now on how to close the gap on the event winners, which he has worked out is some 3mph. To do this, his aim is to shed even more surplus weight, purchase a good pair of wheels, shod with light tubulars and last but not least, include some interval training, something more technical than racing every 25 years!! Watch this space!!

Good luck Andrew, it was great to see you again after all those years and catch up on old times. I look forward to us getting together again next year.

You’re running out of time if you haven’t yet pit your skills against the Country’s “retrobates” (made-up word…..sort of play on the trade-name “Bates” and “retro...as in old!). Only four Planet X Old Skool events left to ride. Likely to be your very last chance to dust off and race your 1980s machine on the open road before they’re banned by the CTT due to safety issues. Rumour has it that reports have been received about the dodgy handling of Old Skool bikes in crosswinds due to their fat tubes and round spokes. Ride them into the ground before its too late. Remaining events……..

S EE

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Caption Competition phone number. Also, tell us a little about yourself and your interest in winning the prizes.

Each person may submit up to 5 captions. However, only one prize will be awarded per person.

Here are a few ideas to get you started...

Is it a bird, is it a plane, no it's Super Hutch.

Hutch trying out his new aero position.

Captions will be judged by a designated professional (Ian Cammish) all decisions are final, correspondence may be entered into but an unintelligible answer may be received.

Hutch's pilot’s licence is in the post.

The British Army's replacement helicopter undergoing trials.

We must receive your entry no later than August 31st, 1809.

CONTEST RULES

The next section?

By submitting an entry, you agree to the following rules.

What can I win?

Third place will win a homeopathic remedy called “disappointment” which is a distillation that has been scientifically prepared from championship winning urine collected at source by specially trained (and slightly weird) individuals and subsequently diluted 10−60 (30C) to create a potent draught that once imbibed will endow any individual with the power of its source.

before a race will give an amazing boost and used after a race will instantly cure that post race hung over feeling. *Used in our Laboratoire tests, 8/10 riders stated that a prick in the arse with this product worked for them.

First prize winner. There is no chance of getting first place, give up now or train hard enough to make it worthwhile turning up next year.

Who may enter?

Second prize winner will receive a syringe of “Hair of the Hutch that beat you”. This essence is derived from a single hair (nicely curly) found behind a toilet after the national 10 and was collected with golden tweezers and placed into a crystal cryogenic flask for freshness by one of the Planet X Oompa Loompas and taken to our Laboratoire for essence extraction and packaged in a handy single use syringe for freshness. Use of this product

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Anyone may enter. If you're over 80 years old and have the full written permission of both your parents and one grandparent.

What do I send you to enter this contest?

Write a funny caption for the following cartoon and send it to the email address shown in the next section.

What was I suppose to be writing here? Oh I forget.

How will I know if I have won?

Winners will be notified by pigeon post and the winning entries will appear in the next issue.

Additional rules All prizes are non-transferable and void where prohibited by law. No cash substitution of prizes allowed.

Winners understand and agree that they are responsible for any and all taxes incurred on prizes received. *Prizes may not even exist and no riders were tested, but hey, what sort of person reads the rules and the small print.

Competition sponsored by:

Include your name, address, and

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PAGE 13

Gambling .... Skinsuits are really in fashion this season Mick Gambling (seen right modeling the latest in East Anglian haute couture) contributed around 5000 articles, race reports, interviews etc for Cycling Weekly, formerly Cycling.

They encompassed a 40year period, 1965 – 2004 and half that period, to 1985, included light-hearted pieces. Many were topical for the period, although some are still relevant to the present time. A taste of these will be produced on a regular basis. Mick is still alive and pedaling in Norfolk.

The Spring Collections are revealed and my goodness, skinsuits are really in! Yes, it is farewell to the separate shorts and vest: tried, trusted and modified over the years but giving way now, to the sleek, figure-hugging one-piece. The cycling Fashion Houses have swung heavily towards the single streamlined garment for the trackman and time triallist and very stunning they are too. Really ideal for that hectic dual-carriageway dash against the clock or dancing the spring fantastic.

They come in high-shine plain tops, imaginative contrasts or club colours with the regulation black bottom (oh dear, when are we going to get ice-blue or vivid orange nether regions?) often set off with a lovely little manufacturer’s logo or sponsor’s motif.

S EE

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Another sweet addition to the collection is the hooded version, which extends that continuous aerodynamic contour to the neck and head, not forgetting those awful stick-out ears.

Incidentally, the hood makes the single earing redundant but perhaps that is yesterday’s fashion and a dead weight, anyway. We hear of an outrageously clever idea, on the designer’s sketch pad, to smooth away noses but that must wait until 1992.

Meanwhile, remember, you read it here first.

The roadmen are just a little tardy, fashion wise, at the moment but they are in skinsuits whenever possible and will look chic either promenading in the bunch or cut and thrusting through a criterium.

Of course, trackmen have to be upto-the-minute immaculate, coasting before the crowd on top of the banking or riding that proud lap of honour after a victory. Remember, never wear colours which clash with the bouquet. Now, a warning note.

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There were sad tantrums last season from one of the more butch tandem riders when a rose laddered his tights. So, watch for that nasty little problem.

Early events in the colder months will doubtless feature the ‘Total Look’ - the all-in hooded top and tights outfit with warm muffed feet.

You will need a liberal coating of olive oil to slide in and out of this absolutely swish garment, but how rewarding it is.

Spring Collections always have something a little wild and mad, and this year is no exception. Guess what? Arm warmers in somber black relieved with gold rings at the cuffs. Yes! Well, they had us gasping: And there is talk of matching thick gold braid on the chests and shoulders of racing jerseys. Jokers do tell a recent prototype was so tight a bottle of turps was need to get it off.

The ladies often write to say they should be counted among the cycling fashion-conscious set. Of course, the male rig-outs are uni-sex, so the girls should feel they are included anyway. If they want a particularly feminine touch, how about a dazzling garment in club colours, worn above or below the knee. But they needn’t worry. For all those with minimum discernment it is not difficult to distinguish the female.

Apart from the recognized cycling Fashion Houses, there are now many little one-person cottage industry businesses, specialising in skinsuit fabrics and very nice little numbers they are too. Back to the weaver to wearer tradition, in fact.

Sartorial tourists are excitingly catered for again, but less distraction with streamlining and more emphasis

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on air-conditioning. There are splendid jackets in poplin and gabardine to be worn under super yellow capes for pedaling around England in high summer, but the leggy look is in for you CTC and YHA folk. Daring shorts in fully lined double-seat corduroy, wide in the leg to admit the breeze and with flared hem one inch above the knee!

Will your Mum let you out in them?

To complete the ensemble, there are wicked little calf-length socks in offbeat multi-coloured wool that will surprise Scunthorpe and captivate Coventry. Ideal, too, for a romantic stroll before lights out.

Yes, the Spring Fashions have been well and truly sprung and already the Houses, to whom we owe so much, are busy designing their Autumn Collections. Personally we can hardly wait.

Dave Lloyd (right) one of the first (if not THE first) riders in the UK to wear a skinsuit.

The integral skinhood is still to catch on.

Photo from Bernard Thompson’s Cycling Archive..

AUGUST’S BIKE OF THE MONTH is Ralph Dadswell’s state of the art Roberts. They say “what goes around comes around” so it won’t be long before we’re all tootling up and down dual carriageways on bikes just like this. Photo courtesy Andy Sexton Enterprises.

S EE

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Where are they now…..decent bike shops? here from the bloke who ran it. I can’t remember his name but it was something cool and bikestarish like ‘Fillipe’ or ‘Fabrizzio’, with extra coolness added by the fact that he wore a cycling cap and sunglasses nearly all the time.

I remember getting there once just before the shop opened only to see him arrive on his ‘Campageverything’ bike … I was green with envy for about a week!

We’ve had “Where’s Webster?” and we’ve managed to track down Martin Pyne but the search goes on for more “blasts from the past”. Steve Kish dons his dear-stalker and picks up his pipe to find out what’s happened to….decent bike shops.

In this day of super-retailers such as Evans and Halfords Bikehut, I’m tending to miss some ‘old skool’ shops, mostly long gone but not forgotten and have just listed a few that spring to mind, in no particular order and in the hope that Testing Times readers who frequent the F, G and Hcourses may have memories of them as fond as mine:Dave Russell, Slough – My first visit there circa 1984 when it was in Chalvey.

Despite promising myself to get Dave to build me one of his legendary close-clearance Roger Queentype frames, I never actually got around to this …. shame on me! However, I did the next best thing and slapped a few of his transfers on my Emperor Sport frame after he re-sprayed it for me.

Dave eventually gave up the shop before briefly trading from home prior to taking over Peter Hare’s shop in Twyford for a while.

Sadly Dave passed away about a year ago. The Twyford shop is no longer there.

S EE

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Stuart Bikes, Acton – A great ‘hang out but never buy anything’ shop run by the gently spoken and megatolerant Dave Stuart-Clark.

Although more of an all-round bike shop (I bought my younger daughter her first bike there, even before she could walk!), this was the home of the best wheel builder that I ever knew, Les Harre-Young from the Bath Road Club.

Sadly the shop was closed in about 1995, as it lost a lot of passing trade when British Rail did major works on Acton Main Line station and closed the through-road that passed the shop.

Don Farrell Cycles, Burnt Oak – A very flash shop-front that sold skiing stuff as well as very up-market cycling gear.

Bought my first Cinelli M71 pedals

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J D Whiskers, Kilburn – Now, this one is still going, now situated in Welwyn Garden City.

The Kilburn shop was slightly out of place in a small parade containing West Indian grocers, hairdressers and newsagents. I bought my first and only brand-new frame there, a Frejus track iron in about 1965. Looked great but rode like a five-bar gate.

Run for years by Alan Ephgrave of the Welwyn Wheelers, now retired and Audaxing away merrily with huge mileage.

J D Whiskers, Goffs Oak – When the Kilburn shop closed, business was transferred to here, so no quickly nipping up in the lunchbreak from when I worked in Camden Town.

Closed earlier this year but now the whole Whisker empire trades from Welwyn Garden City with David and Andrew Whisker running the show and Steve Ephgrave (Alan’s son) doing sterling work with the trade counter ….. my favourite non-eBay bike shop at present.

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Jim Bird Cycles, Colindale – Literally half a mile away from Don Farrell’s, both on the old A5 Watling Street.

Run by Jim himself, who had a unique ability to find anything that you wanted in one of countless unmarked drawers on his back wall. It’s quite probable that this shop was the inspiration for the classic ‘Two Ronnie’s’ sketch about ‘fork handles / four candles’.

Dauphin Sport, Box Hill – Good one for the roadmen, as you couldn’t ride there without going up a monster hill – pretty sure that the grocer’s shop next door made a fortune on Lucozade Sport sold to cyclists for this very reason.

Run by ex-pro Tony ‘I know Eddy Merckx quite well’ Mills and his helpful son Tim, who always insisted on calling my wife Mrs Kish and her friend Jane as Mrs Cottington.

Now still trading as Cycles Dauphin with bigger premises but for me, certainly lacking the atmosphere of the old place.

Now, what’s that Mary Hopkins song? (…. with apologies to any that I’ve forgotten!)

Sadly, in this age and since the ‘new technological dawn’, I tend to buy most of my stuff from eBay but with some stuff from Whiskers, mostly by mail order.

However, despite the ease of this, I’d gladly go back to the times where you’d go to your local bike shop, catch up with all the gossip and scandal, drink four cups of tea, drool at (or even fondle, if favoured) the latest Campag exotica, buy two rolls of handlebar tape and find that you’d spent the whole day doing this.

Anyone remember “Reeds” Ed

of

Wimbledon?

Best to shop on-line!!!

TESTING TIMES NOW IN COLOUR! Just to prove we’ve not been mothballed and aren’t all monochrome ...eyes left. Nice eh?

(Ed’s got some on his bike).

Superlight and super price. Go here http://www.planet-xwarehouse.co.uk/acatalog/ Online_Catalogue_Road_Calip ers_338.html

S EE

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PAGE 17

Top 5 smelly Testers No 4 - Ian Cammish WHO’S HOT THIS MONTH IN THE WORLD OF DOMESTIC TIME TRIALLING: Bradley Wiggins: No doubt whatsoever.

Before the Tour started, 99% of us scoffed and ridiculed the suggestion that GB may have a Tour winner within 5 years. Brad proved it’s possible.

Brad….if you need a CTT approved wheel for your next domestic event, let me know and I’m sure we can sort you one out at a good price! ;-)

The Good Old Days when crowds used to turn up to sample the “Essence of Man”.

Photo courtesy Steve ‘Big Boy’ Williams “Pusher-offers these days don’t know what they’re missing” says Ian Cammish (Planet X). “It’s as clear as black and white that in my day we smelt so much better than the current crop. I mean….. we had the likes of Brut 33, High Karate and Lavender Water. All the top stars used to wear the stuff ….(well ok... maybe not the Lavender Water but my Great Gran thought it smelt nice).

“Henry Cooper, Kevin Keegan, Barry Sheene, Del Trotter, Hong Kong Phooey and my big brother

S EE

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who thought about joining the Army and could have beat your brother up any day of the week all swore by it. “ When I turned up at races you should have seen the crowds that turned up to sample for themselves the ‘Essence of Man’. I lost count of the number of sighs and shaking heads that greeted me at race Headquarters. Times have changed...no doubt!

“There are certainly some smelly buggers about these days and I put that all down to that David Peckham and his Mrs from Girls Aloud. They should concentrate on their football and karaoke rather than selling their smellies in dodgy glossy magazines.

I’ve got no time for them!

‘Intimately Peckham’...what’s all that about eh? No way Pedro…”

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Ian Franklin - for being Ian Franklin. (Ta matey!).

Robert Garbut for spicing up the comic a bit. (Be interesting to see what going to be offer now the Tour’s finished. The BBAR is just getting going you know!).

Justin Lomas for his scintillating 25 minute ride round the Abbotsley circuit the other week.

PNut for his 30 mph ‘10’...at last!

..and STILL red hot….

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WANTED: Calendar girls…. (and boys) What it’s all about!

You’ve heard about Calender Girls….surely?

Well a group from theTT Forum are doing something similar…..honest!....all for the sake of charity. They’re on the look out for volunteers - male or female will do (that narrows it down a bit doesn’t it?) but you’ll need to be broad minded and have a sense of humour. If you don’t think you size up, don’t worry, you can still take part by purchasing a copy of the completed “collectable” some time before 1 January 2010. Keep your eyes peeled! Eyes left for your starters!

Be there...be square!

HOW TO APPLY: Interested (male) parties to submit CV’s (which must include vital statistics and any relevant claims to fame - who you’ve knocked off ....for example) to Sarah http://www.sarahbrookephotography.co.uk/ Any of the fairer sex interested in some free cycle clips, a beanie hat and possible global fame should submit photos (in the first instance) to the Ed…..you know where to get hold of me (please!!). ;-) “Auditions” are likely to be held in the Editor’s spare bedroom on a Wednesday evening (when Mrs Editor goes to aerobics) or in his potting shed (entrance by the back passage with prior appointment) at any other time.

S EE

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As long as it’s not December (cos it’s VERY cold then and I’ve got my reputation to think about) I’ll be up for it!!...Ed!

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Carole Gandy

Words by Sue(choccy) Fenwick Photos by David Jones Socks by Damart

Carole Gandy has been racing for well over a quarter of a century and over the years has won National medals in various colours but finally broke the curse of always being the bridesmaid with a stunning 2004 season winning both the Women’s National 100 mile Championship and the Ladies BBAR. Sue Fenwick caught up with Carole to find out more about the calibre of this extraordinary lady.

S: How did it feel to win the BAR after more than 25 years of trying to get there?

C: I had been quite successful over the years winning 4 bronze medals, 4 silver medals in the BBAR as well as winning medals of various colours in the Ladies National Championships. As I said at the BAR Awards dinner, Beryl won it for 25 years and it took me 25 years to win it! I was absolutely amazed. To quote “Even a shrimp can be great when there are no other fish in the sea”. Some people said I only won because there was nobody much else racing that year but everyone had a chance to win but if they don’t race, then they can’t win.

S: Well you’re certainly no shrimp. You won that fair and square on your own merits. And the world is full of people wanting to diss those who are at the top.

Your 2005 season was also very good: 3rd in the 50 and 2nd in the 100, with personal bests of 22.09

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and 55.30.

It’s well-documented that your success has come after becoming a pupil of coach Dave Lloyd. How did you get to work with Dave?

C: My husband John is a trainee cycle coach and over the years he has always advised me. We agreed that we had gone as far as we could coaching-wise so we decided to approach Dave in

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December 2003.

S: Dave is known as a hard taskmaster. Is that true?

C: He is a very hard taskmaster.

I’ve seen some of the negative comments on internet forums about his training methods being too hard but I ask you, if you take an Olympiad or any serious athlete

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who really wants to get somewhere, they’ve got to train, they’ve got to be focussed and it’s going to be very hard. Some under his wing found it difficult to always do what Dave prescribes. If on one day you just have to pedal in a small gear in a particular zone which meant that other cyclists overtook them, this is when they asked the question was Dave the right coach for them.

My only complaint with Dave is he sometimes forgets how old I am – 65 – and how much more time I need to recover especially over the longer distances. But training’s got to be hard otherwise when you’re racing, you won’t go fast. Dave has shown a lot of people how to do it – Wendy Houvanagel was one of his first pupils and look at her now, how she’s gone on to develop.

S: Apart from time trialling success in recent years, you’ve also turned your hand to two 2nd places in the World Masters Road and Time Trial Championships in Austria in 2004 and 2005, and you won the National Masters 2000m pursuit in 2005.

What made you branch out?

C: Both John and I enjoy cycling for pleasure joining up with friends for cycling holidays and also enjoying our campervan taking our bikes along with us and exploring different places of interest. It was Dave who thought that the National Master’s Track Championships and the World Master Time Trial in Austria would be good for me. Whilst I was successful at the Track Championships I only came second at the World Master age related Time Trial. I was so disappointed at coming second that Gill Henshaw suggested I should enter the World Master Road Race and John chipped in saying that I can be quite an aggressive rider which I did. I also came second but this gave me a great deal more pleasure than coming second in the time trial considering road racing is not my forte.

also went for the women’s hour record too. Although you missed the national record, you established a new age record at 63 years of age on Newport Velodrome on 5 November 2007 with 24.23mph.

How on earth do you sit on a bike for an hour going round and round a track and keep focus?

C: It was very hard, in fact it was awful. I developed cramp after half an hour but we’d spent so much money and so much preparation on the record attempt together that I just had to keep going even though it was hurting so much. I was so disappointed not to break 25mph but at least I set an age record. No female aged 63 had gone for the Hour record before.

...you're asking a lot of questions Sue. If you’re not careful this piece will end up far too long for the Ed...might even make four pages. He won’t like that!....

S: You’ve just ridden the NMHCA 100 on a rather wet, windy day.

How was it?

C: The weather was one of the worst conditions I have had to cycle in. It was absolutely awful as was my time – 4 hrs 34 mins 07 secs, so I’ll probably will have to ride another one.

S: In your 30–odd years in the sport, you’ve seen a lot of equipment fads. Which are the most important for time trialling?

C: Tribars absolutely. Then I’d rank the rest as first disc wheels, then carbon fibre frames, having more gears, helmets and having wind–tested helmets.

S: What’s with the knee-length socks you wear?

C: A guy in Kent, Kevin Tye, got me onto these. Marathon runner Paula Radcliffe uses them to help stop cramps by helping blood flow through the limbs. They’re just compression socks.

S: Women’s health issues aren’t discussed much in cycling. Having raced pre and postmenopausal, what changes do you notice?

C: Pre-the menopause I would feel I could break competition record the day before a period started and at the other extreme feel rubbish for 2-3 days after it finished. Now I’m through the menopause I can’t say it’s affected my times at all as they’re as fast as they’ve ever been. I don’t feel there are highs and lows anymore.

S: You were in San Fairy Ann CC for many years, tell us about your new team?

C: Kent Cycles is a fairly new setup, run by two chaps who own the bike shop and I’m the only woman, which is fine for time trialling.

S: Do you do cross training?

C: Yes, I believe gym work is extremely important and not just through winter. I do gym work twice a week in winter and weekly the rest of the year. Too many cyclists believe they just need strong legs. Start your gym session with the Concept rowing machine for a thorough warm-up, then switch to free weights or the weight machines, whichever you’re happiest with. If you need direction, ask the gym instructors to give you a program.

And stretching is so important too.

Women tend to be more flexible than men but even we need to stretch. I know I don’t do enough!

S: Not many people know that you

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bridge or Yorkshire, which means petrol, food, overnight accommodation. It makes the sport elitist. Even if you do travel, these courses are only fast on certain days so you can end up chasing around all summer, get each one on a goddamn awful day, then you think “I’ve had enough of that” so you miss the next one and that’s the float event.

We’ll lose more dual carriageway courses in the near future. The E2 can’t have long to go. Mixing cyclists and heavy traffic on dual carriageways isn’t the answer. Many races are run on single carriageway roads that can create even more problems when traffic bunches up behind a rider and no cars can overtake because of the oncoming vehicles. I think we have all been in events like this. We have to accept that we have got to live with the motorist and their cars and they are bigger and meaner than we are.

I wonder if you could rate the courses as you do golf courses, by par, in order that people who ride on slower courses aren’t penalised and stand as much chance of winning a competition as those who have easy access to fast courses?

S: What sport would you do if you didn’t time trial?

C: Squash. I was a serious squash player, and I’ve done rowing and hockey too. Squash is as anti-social as timetrialling – squash matches start at 8pm, five matches, stop for some food, it’s 2-3am before you’re driving home with work the next day. After my first husband, also named John, died, I begun to concentrate more on cycling. The two sports are incompatible. They just don’t mix because you use the muscles in different ways so I gave up

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squash. I may have time one day to play golf?

S: At this time of year there is always pre-AGM discussion on timetrialling’s future. What are your thoughts on this?

C: You remember the E72 in the early 1980s was a race of two halves, 6.30-7.30 traffic-free and slow, 7.308.30 traffic-assisted and fast. Chasing fast dual carriageway courses is expensive, can be dangerous and is not open to everyone. I’m in Kent.

My nearest fast courses are Cam-

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S: Another thing I notice is most riders are vets, even in the National 25, just one junior girl entrant. Asking you as a mother, how can we make the sport more attractive to youngsters?

C: Ask any parent “do you want your 14/15 year old cycling on a dual carriageway?” and the answer’s going to be no. Sportives are taking off and it’s strange to me that you can have 3000 cyclists all over the road all day long and yet there are great restrictions regarding the running of a time trial.

Unfortunately the sport appears to be run by a large proportion of veterans because the younger cyclists are generally only interested in cycling rather than helping to put

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something back in to the sport. This may be because they feel intimidated by the vast experience that has been accumulated by those who run the sport and they are hesitant to put their views forward. Many comments are made regarding decisions made, but young cyclists have to come forward to continue the sport. Most timekeepers are 55+ as are marshals and event organisers. Road racing is probably not as bad but even there some officials are in to there 60s and 70s. Even I at 65 can see that if you want the sport to continue then you’ve got to examine it and make it better. The younger fraternity must come forward with new ideas and those who run the sport must embrace these.

To me it still seems that time trialling is a secret society, out for a 5am/6am start and back before breakfast.

Just needs the black alpaca to be brought back!

Ian Cammish’s 3-31-53 “100” must rate as one of the best time trials of all time. I certainly can’t see any of today’s stars getting anywhere near that without all their aero gizmos.

S: What were your aims at the start of 2009?

C: To ride the National 100 which I didn’t and go to the Worlds which I can’t, so I’ve readjusted to aiming for a reasonable finish in the BAR. My times so far are 56.30, 2.02.07 and 4.33.17. I’d like to improve the 100 and there are some reasonable 50s left. The BBAR is really a lottery but then it always has been so – back in the late 1970s/early 80s, the Yorkshire courses were the fastest, nothing else compared except perhaps the E72.

S: Who’s your cycling heroes?

C: Men it has to be Eddy Merckx. Women, it’s Beryl Burton. She was always pleasant and ready to pass on information to me. She did all her fantastic rides with standard equipment, nothing fancy, even holding the men’s 12–hour record above the men’s results. She was phenomenal.

S: Well I reckon Carole’s pretty phenomenal too, especially for a 65 year old. I’ll let her coach have the last word, taken from his website: “Carole is truly amazing … she wants it still … and she proves it week after week after week.”

S: Do you remember the first time you ever got under the hour?

C: A late-season 25 on the E72 the day after a Saturday track training session at Herne Hill. I did a 59.

WHO’S NOT HOT THIS MONTH IN THE WORLD OF DOMESTIC TIME TRIALLING:

If neither Campag or Shimano floats your boat and SRAM’s your thing (for bling)…..have a look here http://www.planet-x-warehouse.co.uk/?p=5346

Hutch - who hasn’t won a single National Championship for at least a fortnight.

The Company that said they’d let us play in their wind-tunnel and appear to have changed their minds.

All those that have promised something for Testing Times and have still got to deliver (you know who you are!).

The provider of decent days for fast time trialling we’re still waiting! Seems like last season we were spoiled.

All those dick-heads seen driving up and down the A1 early on Sunday mornings on their mobiles showing total disregard to other road users. (Does that pith anyone else off?)

S EE

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This month’s special challenge…. how many sausage rolls / baguettes / (name your favourite food here) can you ram in yer gob in one go? asks Ian Cammish I always thought cyclists had good appetites but Chinese tourists in France take the biscuit (or should I say baguette?). During a recent dirty weekend visit to Paris with the Mrs I was fortunate enough to witness a monumental miracle of gastronomic expertise one morning as we set down for breakfast. At either end of the restaurant were two groups of Chinese tourists.

Rather than involve themselves in discreet conversations amongst their respective groups one pair were heavily involved in a heated conversation across the restaurant….completely oblivious of the other less animated (and therefore most probably British!) diners.

Not being able to understand what they were saying was one thing (just being inquisitive...that’s all) but being drowned in showers of croissants and baguettes as they tried to multi-task (eating and talking) was another!

What I found most remarkable was the amount of food one of the good ladies was managing to ram in her mouth while continuing to talk. A quick glance over my shoulder (in typical British fashion of course!) and I was flabbergasted to see she’d managed to ease a whole one of those little French breakfast rolls into her mouth...sideways… mid-sentence ... without pause! If I hadn’t seen it for myself I wouldn’t have believed it.

Rewind some 20 years or so…. ...respected cycling journalist and photographer Bernard Thompson once said he’d witnessed me eating a sponge during one of my 12 hour epics.

Unfortunately, photographic evidence is not readily available to verify the genuineness of either the size of the Chinese tourist’s mouth or my claim to have found something only marginally more palatable than SIS blackcurrant flavoured gels (did I ever tell you how nice PowerBar’s vanilla ones are? One of Cammish’s top 5 Innovations - see January’s issue of Testing Times. Yummy!).

However, friend and colleague Sarah Brooke (photographer extraordinaire) recently sent me Planet X’s “starter for ten” in another Competition For All-Comers

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With No Prizes (we’re good at them!) - “How much can you ram in yer gob in one go?”

First up….Dave Kendall (Finsbury Park CC) seen (above) sucking what is believed to be a Marks and Sparks “serves six sausage roll”. Word has it that John “Nugget” Golder was seen passing the same vantage point trying to down a Cucumber Bloomer in one go (sideways)...unfortunately Sarah was unable to change to a wide-angle lens in time to capture the moment. If anyone has anything that they think beats Kendall’s (or “Nugget’s claimed) exploits, of course, we’d like to hear about it. ian@planet-x-bikes.com

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Why (am I doing this) !?

Why indeed? A very good question...and one which former superstar time trialist Paul Gittins (PMP / Bluemels / Benelux / Chater Lea / Lion GT 30 / Fiamme) asked himself. Planet X’s Old Skool Series prompted Paul in to making a “comeback”.

He tells us here how he eased himself back in to top flight competition.

As I sit here and look around me, at all these strange people that surround me, I realise that I am NOT DREAMING!! (with apologies to Tom, another great Welshman).

What’s going on?

I find myself sitting on a 1980’s TT bike, at the bottom of a slip-road leading to a dual-carriageway, being held up by man I don’t know and with a timekeeper intoning “20 seconds to go”! I thought I’d finished with all this over 20 years ago!

“10 seconds” he says.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO” he says.

And with the faintest acknowledgement of a push (and no rocking on the countdown) I launch (!) myself up the road and into 25 miles of unknown (or rather forgotten) territory.

The blame can laid squarely a Mountain Bike Ride. This isn’t the normal thing for a Tester to admit to but it’s the truth. Since the mid 90’s I’d hardly ridden a bike but last year

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rest went off for a further 3 hours o f s e l f - a b u s e i n the hills. I drove home and slept for 3 days.

I was totally embarrassed by my utter unfitness and became determined to get fitter for the next Retrobike meet in January. I dug my old winter bike (another Retrobike classic!) from the back of the shed, cleaned and lubed it and started a gentle programme of short road rides to get myself back to some sort of ‘form’. October and November passed and I happily discovered I was starting to feel fitter with a not undesirable side effect – the clothing that in September would not fit, now would, albeit with an amount of stretch. This was progress.

Improvement continued, hills became easier, more old jer1968 Champs ‘50’ on the Bath seys fitted, the scales didn’t groan Road, turning into Pangbourne so much in the mornings and by Lane. 2-0-46 early December I felt a lot more I found Retrobike.co.uk and discov- confident in my abilities. ered that the festering old bikes I had in the shed were actually desirable I then made another discovery Retrobike.co.uk is affiliated to classics and I could ride them without shame whilst in the company of both BC and CTT. I had never like minded consenting adults. As even vaguely consider racing again there was a Retrobike ride organised but then, on the CTT website that I in September in the Peak district I occasionally visited, I saw there thought it might be a laugh (!) to go was a ‘Christmas 10’ on the list not along so I cleaned up my old Scott to far away. My thoughts began to T e a m P r o a n d w e n t . A l l wander – could I ride 10 miles I remember is that the ride was all non-stop on an old classic uphill. I know that is a physical im- bike? would I thoroughly embar“What the possibility (what goes up must come rass myself again? heck” I thought, “ I’ve nothing to down etc. etc.) but my state of total prove, why not, it’s Christmas after unfitness, it was true. After 15 miles all, nobody will take it seriously, of hills, mud, hills, bumps, hills, rocks and more hills (taking over 3 it’ll be a laugh.” It was around this hours) I arrived at Edale café com- time that our esteemed Editor anpletely knackered and, after a bite to nounced the Planet X Old Skool eat, apologised and took the series. This was the catalyst that No rearoad route back to Hope while the w a s n e e d e d . son be embarrassed by an old bike

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– I could legitimately ‘Old Skool’ it and be fashionable.

So I sent an entry again secretly hoping there’d be a full field and I wouldn’t get in – but I did.

So I rode it, over 20 years after I’d sworn I would never do it again.

On the day it poured down, over half the field didn’t start. 20 years ago I would have joined them but this was now, so I did – and finished with the slowest time of the day on my 35 year old bike.

But I claimed a moral victory over those who didn’t – and, much to my amazement, I thoroughly enjoyed it and had set myself a yardstick for if I decided to ‘have a go’ next year, thinking that it was a ‘one-off’ and wouldn’t be repeated.

Looking up the road, legs and lungs burning, already been caught by my minute man after less than 3 miles.

Where’s the turn?? It must be soon! 25’s were never this long when I was a lad, were they??

Ah, a marshal in a hi-vi vest, here it is, 35 minutes, not to bad for a first 25 on a hard day.

Back onto the DC, wind in my face, now on my right side, now on my left side. Why isn’t it on my back!!?? It was like this going the other way!!

Almighty rumble in right ear, caught for 11 minutes by someone with a pointy helmet and disk wheel, never see me with anything like that! A pair of Record 28’s and GP 4’s is all you need.

Through January and February the rides continued – even on wet and windy days. Being retired meant I could get out when I wanted, a lot

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better than before when I was stuck with ‘after work’. I bought myself a Turbo Trainer – for the very wet and windy days. Weight kept coming off, nearly 2 stone gone now – and the CTT website published the 2009 calendar. In an idle moment, looking up ‘10’s Yorkshire’ I found a few and thought – ‘I’m fitter now than at Christmas, perhaps I could beat my time. Oh look, there’s one at the end of February.’

So I sent an entry, secretly hoping there’d be a full field and I wouldn’t get in – but I did.

So I rode it, over 20 years after I’d sworn I would never do it again.

On the day it was a bit windy – but not wet – and I beat my Christmas time by 2 minutes – and thoroughly enjoyed it, riding my 35 year old bike again. And I wasn’t slowest this time.

Several local 10’s have followed wi t h s t e a dy i mpr o ve me nt s , now 6 minutes faster than my Christmas 10 and no pointy helmet or disk wheels.

So I thought I’d ‘have a go’ at a 25 (which is 2 ½ times further than a 10, non-stop for over an hour) and found one in July.

So I sent an entry, secretly hoping there’d be a full field and I wouldn’t get in – but I did.

So I rode it, over 20 years after I’d sworn I would never do it again.

Oh my God, look at the time, over an hour gone. 25 years ago I’d have finished by now. I’m beginning to regret doing this!

Another loud ear, someone met and disk up the road.

excuse – sorry a REASON – ‘cos I’m riding Old Skool.

That road sign looks familiar, there’s a marshall, he’s pointing to the left, must be the finish!

There’s the chequered flag. Look at the watch, big sprint, must get into single figures, inside a 1-10!

Done it!! A 1-9-38. Not the slowest ride I’ve ever done – but not far off. Musn’t grumble, at least I’ve finished. Bet I could beat that on a better day, when’s the next one?

So here I am, at the time of writing with a ‘10’ time just a minute short of my lifetime PB and a ’25’ time a massive 12:30 outside my lifetime PB. So what!? It’s like starting from scratch all over again. I’ll never be able to repeat what I achieved half a lifetime ago so I can approach it all from a completely different perspective, do it Old Skool when I want and, above all – enjoy it!

Mind you, those pointy helmets and disk wheels etc. do seem to work. I could beat some people easily 25 years ago, now they’re beating me – with all their ‘triple action muscle booster you can’t bend it’ aero gizmos.. Where’s that next jumble, perhaps someone will be selling up their old TT gear …………………….

(Pop round to Cammish’s gaff Paul - he doesn’t throw anything away. Sure he’ll be able to help you out!).

rumble in my right else with pointy helwheel, disappearing At least I’ve got an

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CLASSIC BLASTS FROM THE PAST……..

Cold, wet and exhausted on his unsuccessful End-to-End attempt in 1954, Joy gets a shout from Eileen Sheridan.

Ken Joy was the great post-war time trial champion, the first rider since Frank Southall to take four successive BAR titles, from 1949 to 1952. He then broke many of the RRA records that Southall had set.

This picture is just one of a much larger group that will be published later this year in a joint collection called “Southall and Joy: Two Cycling Legends”. Peter Whitfield has a hand in it so it promises to be good! Watch out for it.

Thanks to the Norwood Paragon archive and Alan Bristow.

S EE

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Nob Off….the back.

The black shiny stuff … can win Championships!

That wonderfully exotic luxurious feel of shiny PVC/Latex which, when worn, shows off every single area of your figure, can now be experienced by cyclists everywhere.

This stuff loves to be worn tight and figure hugging. It also attracts attention to the wearer when striding into a room, walking down a street or popping into the bedroom. It makes people’s heads turn as they spy bulges growing in certain areas of the human body – yes, this material takes on a dominating role. PVC/ Latex can now be seen in many sports such as bobsleigh, luge, speed skating, speed skiing, swimming, water skiing, water sports (wink) and our own cycling track events.

Even us Testers are in on the act with a PVC/Spandex mix suits which can be used for that short TT as these things get really hot under physical or anaerobic workouts which can include the nocturnal activity type when your partner is fully kitted out in PVC The stuff slides through the air, can be polished to a shimmer and feels beautiful when worn next to the skin.

Technical Engineering Data – Trial Tests Scientists & Technical Engineers have burned midnight oil & worked excessively long hours over the various formulas and algebraic calculations on the co-efficient drag factors of this super material, even when sprayed with silicone, to prove it is the material to be worn for that fast 10-mile time trial. During trials in

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0.925 seconds slower that the natural black.

10 Mile Wind Tunnel Test M S 1/100th Black Shiny PVC/Latex Suit 16. 54. 210 Red Shiny PVC/Latex Suit 16. 55. 135 White Shiny PVC/Latex Suit 16. 57. 744

Ok so it’s red….but you get the drift? the late 90’s it was seen that this material achieved times of less than 17 minutes in wind tunnel conditions with a temperature of 21.75 degs & rich oxygenated air to ensure the proper breathing requirements of the garment for optimum performance.

Three different colours were also chosen to see if this had an effect on the the airflow. Other ambient temperature tests were taken along with air pressures to simulate normal road conditions. The technical results found that black came out on top as the temperature, even at a consistent 21 degrees, made the suit cling tighter to the body. This ensured an all-over constricting fit. White fared badly due to the manmade dye characteristics relaxing the elasticity of the fibratic fibres of the material hence slower times by some 2-3 seconds were recorded over the 10 mile test. Red was also used & although better than white also had fibre elasticity problems and was a close second, records show it was exactly

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Make up of the suit includes seamless sections carefully bonded together with a special epoxy resin. It completely covers the human body, except the face; a top elite cyclist was chosen for these trials to ensure good times were achieved & one who liked wearing this material next to the skin to ensure total relaxation & focus on the times that were achieved.

Feedback on the garment used by the subject were that second skin feeling, along with a cool dominating feel as one glared around the tunnel before & after the test. The reproducing apparatus was unharmed unlike with normal Lycra suits/shorts with chamois where you get that numbing effect & your weapon seems so small after a long ride or race. The subject’s wife was in awe of the suit & her husband, whose third leg was standing proud and ready for action.

This is an added bonus to the sporting effectiveness of the suit and it is expected that many future time triallists will be forking out lost of wellearned money to get their hands on these suits when they are released on

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the market.

NEXT ISSUE: (if the mood takes us!):

A PVC/Latex dimpled suit was also being worked on whilst the trials were on-going but no data was available to hand during this time However similar to the golf ball or the dimples on the new Zipp wheel sets, this may be the way to go.

Time Trialling’s top three smelliest Testers Peter Whitfield tracks down another time trial Legend More Gambling

So time trialing athletes seeking the best in PVC/Latex wear need to go with the colour black to ensure they gain the best advantage they can as this can be the difference between a medal & missing out. It will also help performance on another level with the girlfriend or the spouse during the long nocturnal evenings of an English Winter.

Frankly Franklin (if he can be bothered) Suechoccy and her lady friends That nice Mr Kish The Old Skool Series continues with: Seamons 25 Team Sanjan 10

For the Connoisseurs amongst you this stuff can be seen lurking in its many scintillating guises at http:// www.timetriallingforum.co.uk/ then go to the Non-Cycling Section & look for Cadbury Dairy Milk advert and PVC appreciation thread. So whether you’re a hobbyist or a connoisseur there is something there for all.

Caring for your prized PVC attire Hand wash in warm water with a small amount of detergent (use liquid rather than soap flakes, as they can stick to the PVC). Wash inside & outside of the garment. Rinse thoroughly in cool water until all soap has been removed. Hang to drip-dry inside out. When the inside is dry, turn right way round & allow PVC side to dry.

Shining - this bit will really set the g a r m e n t a l i v e .

Polish with silicone spray, or for a squeaky-free wear you can wipe down the outer surface of your PVC clothes with a light layer of siliconebased lube. This can save those precious 1/100ths or prolong activity in

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Unsung heroes (but only if you let us know who they are) How much can you ram in yer gob?

(That’s YOU...or someone you know ok? Pics please to……)

Competitions

Treat your black shiny stuff with care. (Excuse the blur … photographer got camera shake!) the bedroom.

Good Hunting & this wonderfully conceived material can win you a championship or your hearts desire what ever goal it is you set for yourself.

Sir Nob of Two Ghiblis

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This That The other (nothing like a bit of the other eh?)

Gossip...and if we don’t hear any we’ll make it up Who’s Hot…..and Who’s Not Special guest appearances of contributors staking their claim to fifteen minutes of fame Bit of pith-taking (maybe)

Now Nob Off

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