Wisconsin Woman Magazine of Greater Milwaukee

of Greater Milwaukee

Mary Lou

Young Vol. 14 No. 11 | November 2013 | Complimentary

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November 2013

Lynn Sprangers is shown with Hank Aaron and Mount Mary President Eileen Schwalbach at a recent Mount Mary event. Hank’s wife Billie was the featured speaker.

6 Kim Seidel

Careers and Finance

Susan Marshall | 11 Rusty Cole | 12

14

34

Menopause

Spa guide

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special

advertising sections age busters | 22 Spa guide | 34 holiday gift guide | 25

Living Well

Volunteering Tips | 7 Sue Ann Says | 13 Foster to Adoption | 20 Snap Shots | 36 Pets | 37

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Mary Lou Young of the United Way

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Recipes | 29 In Fashion | 28 Décor | 38 Crafter’s Corner | 30 Entertainment | 39

A man’s perspective Columnist Grant Johnson

31 November 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 3

cover story |

for

BY: Judith Berger

Philanthropy begins at home

Mary Lou Young

For Mary Lou Young, everything springs from gratitude. As president and chief executive officer for the United Way of Greater Milwaukee, the organization’s 2013 campaign goal of $52.5 million and the distributions of funds to more than 160 programs at more than 80 local agency program partners is in her charge.

With the United Way’s focus on education, income and health, it funds programs that address issues from pre-natal to end-of-life. Young said, “We want to affect needle-moving change.”

This year’s campaign goal is a $1 million increase over 2012. Aggressive?

“Our goal is aggressive every year. It would not be responsible of us not to do more when the need is more,” Young said. The organization never fails to meet its campaign goal.

“We usually exceed it. It’s never easy. The goal is set based on a lot research. We look at what is happening in our community; do a gap analysis and look at what issues need to be funded.”

In reflection, she had never known the degree of catastrophic poverty until she joined the United Way of Greater Milwaukee in 2009 as chief operating officer. In February 2010, Young was named president and CEO. “One in four people in the four-county area benefit from the programs supported by the United Way.” The great need in our community makes Young feel blessed and inspired to do more.

Growing up in Michigan, Young’s father was a union steward. The union’s charity was the United Way. “It was called the Red Feather,” Young remembered. Her father instilled the purpose of giving; her mother: volunteerism. “After graduating from college and getting my first fulltime job, my dad didn’t ask me how much I’d be making; he asked me how much I’d be giving to Red Feather.” And she has been a contributor ever since. “Philan-

Under Mary Lou Young’s leadership, United Way of Greater Milwaukee raised an unprecedented $51.6 million in 2012. Pictured from left to right are United Way’s 2012 Community Campaign Cochairs Greg Marcus, The Marcus Corporation, Peggy Troy, Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin, Paul Jones, A. O. Smith Corporation, Mary Lou Young, and Steve Roell, United Way Chairman of the Board, Johnson Controls, Inc.

4 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November 2013

United Way of Greater Milwaukee President & CEO Mary Lou Young greets Mayor Tom Barrett at the launch of United Way’s Healthy Birth Outcomes Initiative in September 2012. United Way of Greater Milwaukee partners with community leaders on a number of key issues including Teen Pregnancy Prevention, Infant Mortality Reduction, and is a founding member of Milwaukee Succeeds, a community-wide effort to ensure there is a strong educational pipeline from cradle to career for all children.

Mary Lou Young, President and CEO of United Way of Greater Milwaukee, and Milwaukee Health Commissioner Bevan Baker accept United Way Worldwide’s Common Good Award for Health during an international conference held in Nashville, TN, in 2012 for the organization’s work in leading Milwaukee’s Teen Pregnancy Prevention Initiative. The community-wide effort, led by United Way, has become an international model for community collaboration and was featured in the June 2012 report from the White House Council for Community Solutions to President Obama.

thropy starts at home. It’s a family conversation that I think is missing today.” To that point, the United Way has instituted family volunteer programs.

Young met her husband, Harold, in Michigan, and they have been married for 35 years. When a career opportunity came up for Harold at Northrop Grumman Corporation, the couple moved to California. Mary Lou began and built her career at Rockwell Automation.

“Harold and I have always participated in workplace giving,” she said referring to the process of money being contributed directly from an employee’s paycheck. At the time of her retirement from Rockwell, Young managed global community relations.

“This is a strong workplace giving community. In the Midwest, people are invested in their community.

They do what they say. We understand that people have limited resources for charitable giving. The United Way is the greatest return on their investment. We are accountable to the community to use funds efficiently and effectively.”

Young also cites a successful program in which the United Way is a founding partner. Milwaukee Succeeds is a community-wide initiative ensuring there is a strong educational pipeline from cradle-to-career for all children whether they attend area public, private or charter schools.

It is no surprise Young is where she is today. The United Way is seemingly at her marrow. Her long history of philanthropy and volunteerism in Greater Milwaukee includes membership in United Way’s Tocqueville Society and extensive experience volunteering for United Way. She served on United Way’s campaign cabinet and is an active member of United Way’s Women’s Lead-

ership program. She is also a founding member of United Way’s Teen Pregnancy Prevention Oversight Committee, and was co-chair of the committee’s Teen Pregnancy Prevention Collaborative Fund which brought six organizations together to collectively invest in innovative programs to reduce teen pregnancy. The fund established $325,000 in new dollars to address Milwaukee’s teen pregnancy crisis – one of the root causes of cyclical poverty in our community. The Teen Pregnancy Prevention Initiative celebrates its seventh anniversary in 2013 and is on track to reach its goal to reduce births to 15-to17-year-old girls by 46 percent by 2015. “We are working to affect real social change,” Young said.

No one agency can affect in the multitude of areas like the United Way, Young said. Milwaukee remains one of the most impoverished cities in the nation. “There is a growing demand as poverty escalates. Request escalates and the need increases.” Less than 50 percent of donors give less than $100 a year, she said; and the Milwaukee Health Care Partnership has provided a $1.7 million challenge grant for a third year. Donations are matched by the Milwaukee health systems – Aurora Health Care, Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin, Columbia St. Mary’s, young continued on page 19 November 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 5

volunteer living

well | Volunteer

Volunteer of the month

Lynn Sprangers the Ultimate Volunteer

O

Our outstanding volunteer this month is Lynn Sprangers. Lynn is Vice President for Communications and Community Engagement at Mount Mary University. She is a familiar face to many because of her on-air work at WTMJ as a political reporter. She has also held many high profile jobs including work for former County Executive Tom Ament and the Milwaukee Brewers organization. In her spare time, Lynn volunteers with many organizations in the Milwaukee area including United Way. With the current United Way campaign underway, we posed some questions to Lynn about volunteering and the importance of United Way to the Milwaukee area.

How have you found time to volunteer with your busy work schedule?

I don’t think that not volunteering is an option if you have blessings in life as I have had.

What was your first volunteer experience? My brother is cognitively disabled and I learned, from a young age, to appreciate volunteers who helped my family.

Did your parents instill a sense of giving back to others?

Yes, my dad was on the school board. And because of my brother’s condition, both my parents were very involved with ARC, the Association for People with Developmental and Intellectual Disabilities. My parents were both my best teachers, as well best ambassadors. I learned from them,

We Are Looking For Volunteers!

6 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November 2013

giving back is a lifelong vocation.

Why is United Way so successful?

Because of its makeup - combining help to large and small organizations and individuals in need - United Way helps a blend and mix of all people.

The organization is like a beautiful quilt, making a huge difference for many groups in our community.

What is your biggest challenge as a United Way board member?

The biggest challenge is asking, “Can we do more? Who else can we help?

How do we raise more money to help others in need?” There is a huge need in this community.

You are the chair of the Community Impact Committee at United Way. What does this committee do?

The committee decides where the extra and unrestricted funds will be given in our community. We look very quickly at natural disasters like drought, flooding as well as emergencies like extreme cold and not enough shelters. We also look back at some of the groups we have funded and see if there is something more we can do.

Thinking about the future of volunteerism, do you see the Baby Boomer generation as good stewards?

I think there is a lot of volunteering going on. I have great confidence that they will help. Many Baby Boomers have had great lives, better than

some of the upcoming generations. I know they will give back. I am also very heartened by the noble efforts of young people in their causes.

What are your plans for the future?

Right now I am very excited to be on several boards and be at Mount Mary University. I am pleased to work with young women and help them develop relationships as mentors and coaches to others. I also continue to work on the scholarship created for young students at Mount Mary in memory of my friend, and WTMJ-TV colleague, Lynise Weeks.

How do you want to be remembered 50 years from now?

I don’t want any fancy headline. I just want to be remembered as someone who loved this community.

In addition to United Way, Lynn has served on many other boards including Marcus Center, Menomonee Valley Partners, Spirit of Milwaukee, Milwaukee Women Inc., Milwaukee Urban League, VISIT Milwaukee, Aids Resource Center of Wisconsin and CAP Fund.

Do you know someone who is dedicated to helping others? Who loves to volunteer and does so often? If so, we would like to hear from you.

Send us the name and age of the person you would like to have recognized (all ages welcome), as well as a brief paragraph about this person to: Wisconsin Woman Magazine, P.O. Box 230, Hartland, WI 53029 or email the information to us by placing “Volunteer Nomination” in the subject box and sending to us at editorial@twwmag.com.

VolunteeringSome considerations before you answer the call Before You Volunteer

It’s great that you want to volunteer! Many will benefit when you do -- the agency, the clients they serve, and you.

Ready to find that perfect volunteer opportunity? Here are a few things to consider from the Volunteer Center of Milwaukee.

Time When are you available?

Look at your schedule and time and be realistic.

What kind of commitment can you make?

Some opportunities are one time only; others are shortterm projects or require an ongoing commitment. Be sure to choose something that fits your schedule. Consider combining volunteering with other activities in your life, such as family time or hobbies.

Skills/Interests Why do you want to volunteer?

Are you volunteering to meet people, to help others, because you feel passionate about an issue, to gain professional experience, to express your religious faith, or for a class assignment? There are lots of reasons, and no right or wrong answers. Knowing yourself will help you get the most out of the experience.

What causes or issues are important to you?

Is it poverty, children, the environment or a health issue? Where would you like to make an impact?

LIFE IS

YOURS

TO GIVE

By giving the highly personal and unique gifts of blood, organs, tissue and marrow, you can have a profound impact on countless lives. Your gifts can save the day for patients in need.

Vicki donated her daughter Alyssa’s organs after a tragic car accident. Vicki finds comfort knowing Alyssa’s final gift is allowing others to live. www.bcw.edu

Save the Day. Become a donor.

volunteering continued on page 8 November 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 7

volunteering continued from page 7

What talents, experience or skills do you want to share?

Volunteering can also be a great way to learn something new.

Do you want to use your skills on a Nonprofit Board of Directors?

Personal Considerations

Age: Some opportunities have age limits. RSVP is a membership organization for adults age 55 and over who serve in nonprofit organizations and schools.

Location: Will you drive, walk or take public transporta-

tion? If getting there is difficult, it may be a challenge to stay committed.

Situation: Some opportunities are better suited to families, court ordered volunteers or those physically or mentally challenged.

Experience: Do you want to work alone or with others in a

group?

What are your expectations?

Your volunteer experience will be much more satisfying if you understand expectations from the start.

8 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November 2013

With whom do you want to work? With infants, children, teens, those with physical or mental disabilities, adults, senior citizens, animals or by yourself?

Where would you like to work? In a school? Outdoors? In an office? At a food pantry?

Taking a realistic inventory of what you bring to the table, as well as what you hope to gain from the experience, will help you find your ideal volunteering opportunity.

For more information on volunteering opportunities, please visit the website: volunteermilwaukee.org

Ways You Can Make a Difference in Your Community: q Visit seniors in retirement communities and nursing homes. q Donate time or money to your local animal shelters q Offer your skills by raking, painting, fixing or preparing a home for one of your elderly neighbors. q Volunteer to help at your local school. q Donate clothes and food. q Give to Toys for Tots. q Donate books to shelters. q Become a mentor or tutor.

Women Donate More to Charity According to the Women Give 2012 report from the Women’s Philanthropy Institute at the Center of Philanthropy at Indiana University, Baby Boomer and older women give 89 percent more of their total income to charity than their male counterparts despite earning less, having less money in retirement and living longer.

This remains true even in cases when education, income, race, number of children and other factors that may affect giving are equal between men and women.

The report found that although women are more generous, the study doesn’t show that one sex is better than the other, it simply means that charities may need to think about the differences in giving patterns and behavior of men and women.

Why is it that women tend to give more to good causes?

The report explains it has to do with women being socialized to be the caregivers of their families and communities. Therefore, men and women have different motivations for giving. Women tend to think of giving as a way to have a closer relationship with the non-profit they are donating to; meanwhile, their male counterparts tend to think of donations as a financial transaction.

In other words, when women donate money to charities and non-profits, they are thinking about how their donation can help make a difference or change in the community, or how they are making an impact.

Our Mission: Linking older adults to a caring community since 1975.

Experience, Commitment and Vision make Interfaith Older Adult Programs a leader in providing older adult and caregiving services in Milwaukee County and beyond.

Learn about our valuable services and volunteer opportunities

www.interfaithmilw.org facebook.com/interfaithmilw @linkacommunity

414.292.7500

600 W. Virginia St. • Suite 300 • Milwaukee, WI 53204

If you would like to volunteer but don’t know how to get started, you can begin by visiting any of the following websites:

www.nonprofitcentermilwaukee.org www.volunteermilwaukee.org www.jobsthatserve.com www.UnitedWayMilwaukee.org www.hungertaskforce.org www.home.interfaithmilw.org www.wiparkinson.org www.samilwaukee.org heart.org/milwaukee www.bcw.edu www.interfaith.org

November 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 9

StronG women impAct our community

Give.

Our Women’s Leadership Program is one of the largest in the nation. Join over 2,000 members who create change through their talent, compassion and philanthropy.

Un ited Way

AdvocAte.

Encourage others to think about our community. Show the importance of philanthropy with the young people in your life. Download “101 Ways Kids & Adults Can Show They Care” brochure or order a complimentary copy of the Show You Care, Share book on our website.

volunteer.

Our community’s greatest volunteer need is in education. United Way is recuiting 3,000 new volunteer Readers, Tutors and Mentors by December 2014. Join the 1,000+ already registered.

thank you to our ad sponsor:

Give. AdvocAte. volunteer.

That’s what it means to live united.

UnitedWayMilwaukee.org

10 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November 2013

careers | Building Stronger Women

Cultivate

I

Courage

Some words to help you open the door: “I have been I have been privileged, in recent travels, to meet, work thinking about this…” “My experience with this sugand talk with hundreds of professionals - from architecture gests…” “I’d like to share a different point of view that may to engineering, fund raising to quality control, education to be helpful to us.” automotive manufacturing. There is a pattern out there.

Next, promise yourself to take no responses personally.

The pattern is one of hesitation and self-doubt, underlined A snippy remark or dismissal says more about the respondwith a need for approval. It is a quiet pattern, sometimes er than about your idea. Resist the urge to fire back. And well concealed, and it is destructive. don’t allow yourself to be intimidated. Do note the reIn too many places, confidence is waning, energy is dis- sponse; it is good information. Understanding the “players” sipating, and innovation is becoming little more than wish- helps you choose when and how to present your ideas. ful thinking. Is it universal? Not yet, thankfully. But it is When something troubles or confuses you or simply creeping into too many hearts, minds and organizations. does not make sense, ask about it. Start by setting a conThe reasons are many—and understandable. People text, and then ask your question. “Yesterday we were want to keep their jobs. Sticking your neck out with new talking about the new customer contact system. Everyone ideas is often an invitation to have your head chopped off. seems to be on board with the changes, but I am confused Or is it? How can you take the energy of fear and turn it about our new process. Can you help me understand it?” toward strengthening your courage? The result would be This can be very difficult to do! Yet, when you have the stronger self-esteem, deeper engagement in your work, and courage to ask what seems like an obvious question, you diminished fear of losing your job. You become a stronger give others permission to do the same. Over time, a culture asset to your organization; just the sort of person who helps of learning and discovery takes hold. Greater participation organizations grow and prosper. and clarity for all is an exceedingly positive outcome.

Consider this: Every day you compile evidence that By cultivating your courage, you take responsibility for “proves” you are adequate, exceptional or deficient. You the quality of your experiences. You gain knowledge and don’t do this intentionally (though we will work on changing that); but at the end of every day you have a sense By cultivating your courage, you take of how well you did. From this sense, you create a story about yourself that responsibility for the quality of your makes you satisfied and content or experiences. You gain knowledge and dissatisfied and unhappy.

Recognizing this, you can take perspective, which add to your positive baby steps every day to intentionally compile evidence to demonstrate sense of self. Perhaps as important, you your health, growth, and contribution. Here are some simple things to become a role model for others who try. seek to grow, not compete.

When a friend or colleague asks where you’d like to go to lunch, name a place. I know that sounds trivial and silly, but the most perspective, which add to your positive sense of self. Percommon response is: “I don’t care, where do you want to haps as important, you become a role model for others who go?” And the dance begins. Save yourself and everyone else seek to grow, not compete. Ultimately, you help create a time and energy by naming a place or type of food you like. body of professionals who enjoy challenging one another in Your suggestion may not be adopted, but you will have put a spirit of learning and higher contribution, thus breaking the conversation on a more productive footing. the pattern of hesitation and self-doubt.

•••• Offer your point of view during a meeting. Don’t wait Susan Marshall is an author and speaker whose book, to be asked; rather, find an opportunity in the course of dis“How to Grow a Backbone: 10 Strategies for Gaining cussion to share your perspective. “Oh, I can’t do that,” you Power and Influence at Work,” has been translated might be thinking. “I might say something wrong. My boss into multiple languages and is especially popular in doesn’t appreciate people who jump in without being invitAsia. Her work is dedicated to building strong leaders who create successful organizations, transform ed.” This is precisely the reason why so many people don’t school systems, and develop leaders at all levels. share—and why we sometimes have such a limited view of You can reach her at (262) 567-5983 things.

By susan marshall

+

ggNnniEdolMiurbOtWs llahsraM nasuS :yb

or execadvise@mac.com.

November 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 11

finance | with Rusty Coyle

Couples & Investing

F

For couples who want to make the most of their investment dollars, investing together can be a smart strategy. But if both partners don’t agree on the same goals and methods of investing, the stress can start to increase and the success can start to decrease. In a perfect situation, couples have the same goals and objectives and agree on the best ways to try to reach them, but as we know not every couple agrees on everything. I will mention that there is a common thread when it comes to all the information below: communication.

Set and Define your goals together

Coming to a reasonable agreement on what your priorities are and roughly when you both hope to reach each of them can quickly simplify the process of deciding how much to invest. For example, one partner would like to focus on paying down the mortgage while the other is more focused on saving for a retirement; it may make

sense to list your goals separately and then compare them to see where there are differences and where there are similarities. In addition to which goals you’re focusing on, set realistic time frames as to when they can be reached.

Having a clear understanding

I would suggest having a written plan as to how each of your goals will be reached.

As an example, it may be as simple as having it written out: 1. Saving for retirement, 2. Paying off the mortgage early, and 3. Saving for the lake house. Once you have agreed upon goals, then it needs to be understood as to how much money can be put towards each goal. Once these specifics are written out and both partners can agree on them, make it visible where you can see it and remind yourselves every day.

Talk about how much you can afford to save or invest

Saving for your goals is a part of your money budget. If you have too many goals as a couple, you may not be able to afford them all. Together you may have to pick and choose which goals should take priority and which goals should be put on the back burner for now.

Make sure you are both comfortable and agree

Setting your goals as a couple and balancing out

each other’s risk and then setting your budget as a couple can help you reach your goals. If you or your spouse is not comfortable with any of these things, it’s a good idea to talk about it. This helps to ensure that you are saving towards goals that you both really want and your investment style is complementing each other, not hurting each other.

Risk - to take it or not

If you are a high risk or low risk investor, it is extremely important to talk about it with your partner. If you are planning for a couple’s retirement or saving for another joint goal, it’s important to coordinate your investment strategy. If you are saving separately for joint goals, it’s a good idea to discuss how you are investing because if you are both taking on too much risk you could end up losing money or taking longer to reach your goals.

What about a Stale-Mate?

So you’ve taken the time and worked on your monthly budget, set goals and together you are still not able to come to an agreement as to priorities or there are still differences in opinions between you and your partner, I believe it only makes sense to talk to a financial advisor who can help troubleshoot and give an objective opinion to help you and your partner reach your goals.

•••• This article is meant to be general in nature and should not be construed as investment or financial advice related to your personal situation. Please consult your financial advisor prior to making financial decisions.

Rusty Coyle is a Financial Advisor with Waddell & Reed and can be reached at (262) 544-1446 orrustycoyle@ wradvisors.com or visit his website at www.rustycoyle. wrfa.com. Waddell & Reed, Inc. Member SIPC

12 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November 2013

Sue Ann Says…

Emily’s Fund Supports Women Veterans

H

Have you ever had one of those months when the money in your paycheck doesn’t match the bills arriving in the mailbox? Or there isn’t enough cash for the haircut you need before a new job interview? Now put yourself in the shoes of a woman veteran or active duty service woman returning to Wisconsin after serving overseas for the past two years. You aren’t expecting to come back home after protecting your country and face obstacles like paying for rent, physical therapy, or child care. Government programs that provide for women veterans exist, but those programs unfortunately have gaps. I am honored to introduce you to Emily’s Fund, a scholarship program to help meet the unique needs of these amazing women veterans and active duty service women.

Emily’s Fund was established in the name of a dedicated Wisconsin Women’s Health Foundation volunteer. She bestowed funds to a private donor to be used to serve Wisconsin women veterans. The donor and WWHF created Emily’s Fund to provide an extra financial boost to our service women. The scholarship application opened on August 1st and Emily’s Fund will close on December 30th or when funds are depleted.

Wisconsin’s Women Veterans Face Many Reintegration Challenges

The Department of Veterans Affairs reported that, as of 2012, Wisconsin has a population of 37,871 women veterans. Reintegrating into our Wisconsin communities is not always an easy task for women as they transition from military to civilian life. Some face homelessness, joblessness, or physical and mental health issues.

Many of these women veterans are care providers for young children and aging parents, often making their readjustment period more difficult than male veterans.

Who is Eligible for Emily’s Fund?

Women veterans or active service members in the United States military are welcome to apply to this scholarship program. All applications must be referred by a social worker. Scholar-

ships are awarded based on the extent and type of financial needs. All applications will be evaluated by a review panel. The submission of an application does not guarantee financial assistance.

How Can Emily’s Fund Help a Woman Veteran?

Amanda Verbrick, Emily’s Fund Coordinator, shared one veteran’s story with me. “A returning veteran found she needed help with her mortgage, car insurance, electric bill and her pet’s multiple vaccines. Emily’s Fund was able to provide a minimal amount of money to get her back on her feet.

Emily’s Fund can provide money for specific medical needs such as insurance premiums, co-payments, or deductibles. Co-payments for women veterans vary from $15.00 for primary care and up to $50.00 for specialty care services - which can break a budget.

Returning service women who have recovery needs can seek a scholarship for their prosthetics, physical therapy, or money to help with the care of service animals. The Veteran’s Administration does not pay for boarding, grooming, food, or any other routine expense associated with owning a dog, and yet these animals provide a valuable service for our women veterans.

Since many women veterans are returning to families or children who have been struggling with their absence, mental health services could be covered for family or adolescent therapy. Female veterans who have been a victim of domestic abuse or sexual abuse while deployed could seek counseling with funding from Emily’s Fund.

Massage therapy, pet care, exercise classes, or nutritional/AODA counseling could be part of a woman’s scholarship in the wellness services category.

Massage therapy and exercise classes are used to improve pain, tension, and mood for veterans.

A Federal Practitioner article from February 2013 stated that women veterans are up to four times more likely to be homeless compared with nonveteran women. Basic needs such as rent, food, and clothing all fit the requirements for a scholarship. These social

services provide the stability that a woman veteran requires to be emotionally, socially, and physically whole.

A scholarship request for bedding, a vacuum, or even dishes will be considered. Transportation costs that mount up for a woman veteran to attend appointments or for job interviews are possibilities for funding.

The U.S. unemployment rate for female veterans was 6.6 percent in July 2013 according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Emily’s Fund seeks to help women find meaningful employment in Wisconsin. Women who did not finish high school before they were deployed can seek GED prep funding through this scholarship. Job readiness needs for women veterans include clothing for job interviews, haircuts, and make-up.

Veterans Day is Next Week

Remember that Veterans Day is Monday, November 11th. Please thank a Wisconsin woman veteran for the dedication and sacrifices she has made to defend our country. We can make the transition to civilian life less stressful for these selfless women. If you would like to make a private donation to the scholarship fund, please contact Amanda Verbrick at WWHF. These women deserve no less from us!

Because it all begins with a healthy woman…

For more information contact Amanda Verbrick at: 608-251-1675 ext. 104 averbrick@wwhf.org Sue Ann Thompson is founder and president of the Wisconsin Women’s Health Foundation (WWHF), a statewide non-profit organization whose mission is to help Wisconsin women and their families reach their healthiest potential.

WWHF provides programs and conducts forums that focus on education, prevention, and early detection; connects individuals to health resources; produces and distributes the most up-to-date health education and resource materials; and, awards grants and scholarships to women health researchers and related community non-profits. To learn more, visit wwhf.org or call 1-800-448-5148

November 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 13

Menopause Questions

and

Answers

about Women’s Health

Dr. Shaheera Kader, NCMP of Aurora Woman’s Health and Wellness Center answered common questions about menopause.

What is perimenopause? At what age does it start?

Perimenopause refers to the time period that begins with changes in the menstrual cycle and other symptoms related to menopause such as hot flashes, sleep disturbances, mood changes and ends 1 year after the final menstrual period. It usually starts when a woman is in her 40’s, though symptoms can begin in the 30’s as well. This phase is also referred to as the menopausal transition. Symptoms occur due to changes in the female hormones during this time period.

Do I need to continue my birth control while in perimenopause?

A woman is fertile until she has gone through menopause (12 months after the last menstrual period). Hence, it is important to use a method of contraception during perimenopause until menopause, which is 12 months after the last menstrual period if pregnancy is not desired.

How do we know when we are in menopause? Is there a blood test for diagnosing menopause?

Menopause is a clinical diagnosis, made after 12 months of no menstrual periods.

Typically, tests are not used to diagnose menopause as hormonal levels can fluctuate and do not always correlate with symptoms being experienced. However, in certain circumstances, blood tests such as (but not limited to) FSH (follicle stimulating hormone), estradiol (a female hormone), TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) may be ordered by your health care provider. During menopause, FSH levels rise and estradiol decreases. TSH evaluates thyroid function; it is important to assess thyroid function as hypothyroidism – a condition where the thyroid gland does not produce enough hormones, may cause some of the similar symptoms seen during menopause and the menopausal transition . menopause continued on page 16 14 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November 2013

We treat your brain from left to right.

Through extensive research and practice, our renowned specialists offer the most effective approaches to treating neurologic conditions, such as stroke, epilepsy, Parkinson’s disease and other movement disorders.

We’re the only certified Comprehensive Stroke Center in eastern Wisconsin and one of only four hospitals in the country certified by The Joint Commission as a Center of Excellence for Epilepsy.

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menopause continued from page 14

What is HRT (hormone replacement therapy)?

The term Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) has been replaced by Hormone Therapy (HT). HT includes Estrogen therapy (ET) and Estrogen- Progestogen therapy (EPT). ET is estrogen only therapy prescribed for women who have had a hysterectomy. Woman who have their uterus should receive EPT, combination of estrogen and progestogen. Estrogen stimulates the growth of the lining of the uterus; a progestegen is added to protect the uterus from possible estrogen induced stimulation of the uterus and risk for endometrial cancer. Progestogen therapy is not always needed if estrogen is being used only for vaginal treatment.

Your health care provider can help determine if you are a

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candidate for hormone therapy and recommend treatments most suited for you based on your symptoms, health history, and family history.

What are bioidentical hormones?

Bioidentical hormones are hormones that are identical in chemical structure to the hormones produced by the ovaries. These are available as prescription medications manufactured by pharmaceutical companies, or through compounding pharmacies where they are available in different formulations such as gels, tablets, suppositories, sub-lingual applications, creams and injections. Custom compounded medications are mixed individually and hence not regulated by the government (FDA.) Custom compounded hormones are not more effective or safe than government approved hormone treatments.

I have terrible hot flashes. How long will they last? Is there something I can take to prevent them? What good alternative therapies/ supplements, would you recommend?

Hot flash is a commonly reported symptom during menopause and perimenopause. When hot flashes occur at night, they are referred to as night sweats. They are most prominent during the first 2 years after menopause and gradually decline with time. There is a wide variation in the duration, severity and frequency of hot flashes among women. Some women may experience hot flashes for more than 10 years after menopause.

Lifestyle changes have been proven to be effective in treating hot flashes. Hot drinks or foods, warm temperatures, caffeine, alcohol, smoking, and stress contribute to hot flashes. Exercising regularly, maintaining a healthy body weight, consuming a healthy diet, getting adequate restful sleep and stress reduction have all shown to decrease hot flashes. Acupuncture, massage therapy, mind body practices such as Yoga, tai chi, paced breathing, meditation, guided imagery are all excellent stress reduction techniques that are used to manage hot flashes.

Various non-prescription botanical treatments for control of hot flashes such as soy and black cohosh are available over the counter. Research studies have not shown these treatments to be consistently effective in controlling hot flashes. Discuss with your health care provider prior to initiating any non-prescription remedies due to potential for adverse effects.

Non-hormonal and hormonal prescription medications are used to treat hot flashes. Non-hormonal options include medications like Paxil or Effexor commonly used to treat depression and anxiety, gabapentin used in treatment of epilepsy and nerve pain, and clonidine which is used to lower blood pressure.

Prescription hormone therapy is government approved for treatment of hot flashes and is the most effective treatment for hot flashes. The goal is to use the lowest possible dose for the shortest time period in women who are identified as candidates for hormone therapy. menopause continued on page 18

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menopause continued from page 16

Is it normal to experience urinary incontinence after menopause? What can I do about this?

Estrogen plays has a role in keeping the lining of the urethra (the tube that connects the bladder to the outside) healthy. With menopause and fall in the estrogen level, this lining can be affected. Also the muscles lining the pelvic floor can have decreased tone with pregnancy, child birth, weight gain and aging. As a result of these changes, women may experience urinary frequency, urgency, incontinence, and night time urination.

Decrease in caffeine intake, avoiding bladder irritants like spicy foods, carbonated beverages, improving and maintain vaginal moisturization with vaginal moisturizers and pelvic floor exercises are effective in decreasing the urinary symptoms. There are prescription medications that are available to treat symptoms of urinary incontinence and frequency. In addition, pelvic floor physical therapy with physical therapists who specialize in the pelvic floor is a valuable treatment. Surgical treatments are available for patients who do not get desirable results with other interventions.

I am a 60 year old happily married woman who used to enjoy sex, but now it hurts. Are there any products to help the dryness I feel in my vagina?

Decrease in estrogen with menopause can lead to symptoms such as decreased vaginal secretions, vaginal dryness, increased likelihood of vaginal and urinary tract infections, discomfort during urination, urinary incontinence, and pain during intercourse.

Vaginal lubricants decrease friction during intercourse.

Water based lubricants are less irritating to the vagina and vulvar tissues. Vaginal moisturizers used regularly improve vaginal moisturization and help prevent symptoms resulting from vaginal dryness. Stimulating the tissues with massage, vibrator therapy and sexual intercourse improve blood supply to the tissues and maintain flexibility of the tissues. Vaginal treatment with estrogen is very effective for vaginal and urinary symptoms. Pelvic floor exercises are

recommended to improve the tone of the pelvic floor muscles.

Ospemifene is a new prescription non-hormonal vaginal treatment for painful intercourse.

Other causes for vaginal and urinary symptoms such as vaginal infection, dermatological conditions of the female genital tissues, urinary tract infection should be researchedprior to initiating treatments. Avoid douching. Your provider can provide recommendations regarding vulvar hygiene and care.

After I have gone through menopause, how often should I see my doctor and what tests should I have?

Women’s health care needs are unique in different phases of their lives. Regular checkups can identify any health conditions that need to be addressed. Women experience various physical and emotional changes during menopause and the menopausal transition. Also risk for certain conditions such as heart disease and osteoporosis increases after menopause. With decline in estrogen levels there can be changes in the cholesterol profile leading to increased risk for plaque buildup in the arteries. Estrogen is protective of bone health. Bone loss accelerates in the years surrounding menopause.

Regular visits with a health care provider on an annual basis or more frequently as advised by your provider, are recommended to keep up to date on screening recommendations for pap smears, mammograms, bone density screenings, immunizations, screening for high cholesterol and diabetes.

Health care visits provide an opportunity to learn more about the menopausal transition and successful management strategies based on individual symptoms, health history, family history, risk factors and treatment goals. Having this awareness will empower women to make informed decisions about their health, lifestyle and treatment options.

Problems and Causes of Menopause in midlife Midlife is often considered a period of increased risk for depression in women. Some women report mood swings, irritability, tearfulness, anxiety, and feelings of despair in the years leading up to menopause. But the reason for these emotional problems isn’t always clear. Research shows that menopausal symptoms such as sleep problems, hot flashes, night sweats, and fatigue can affect mood and well-being. The drop in estrogen levels during perimenopause and menopause might also affect mood. Or it could be a combination of hormone changes and menopausal symptoms.

But changes in mood also can have causes that are unrelated to menopause. If you are having emotional problems that are interfering with your quality of life, it is important to discuss them with your doctor. Other things that could cause feelings of depression and/or anxiety during menopause include:

18 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November 2013

q Having depression before menopause q Feeling negative about menopause and getting older q Increased stress q Having severe menopausal symptoms q Smoking q Not being physically active q Not being happy in your relationship or not being in a relationship q Not having a job q Not having enough money q Having low self-esteem (how you feel about yourself) q Not having the social support you need q Feeling disappointed that you can’t have children anymore q Ways to feel better q Treating depression

young continued from page 5

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Young would like Milwaukee to know that she comes from a place of gratitude. “I’d like to tell the people of Milwaukee, ‘thank you.’ We could not do what we do without you.”

Young’s commitment to the community also includes serving on the board of trustees for The Public Policy Forum and on the board of directors for the Girl Scouts of Wisconsin Southeast; the Milwaukee Ballet Company; and the United Performing Arts Fund. She is a member of The Rotary Club of Greater Milwaukee; Milwaukee Women, Inc.; Greater Milwaukee Committee; Professional Dimensions; and serves on the advisory committee for the African American Chamber of Commerce and is a former member of Contribution’s Council of The Conference Board.

For Young, at 59, life is good. She’s healthy. She has had the same best friend almost her entire life. Her marriage is strong and loving. The couple has four grandchildren. “And I get to do God’s work. We have a very talented team that is focused on our mission. It’s not complicated. Here at the United Way, we get to help people. It’s a privilege to run this organization. We have been entrusted with the community’s money. It’s something we take very seriously.”

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From foster parenting to adopting: One woman’s inspiring story of steadfast care and love

By Kim Seidel

With her children grown, Helen decided that she wanted to provide foster care. A former special needs teacher, Helen has a generous heart, and felt set to foster parent babies and children under age 2 with no plans to adopt. She missed being with kids and knew of the great need for foster families.

Her husband, Mike, supported her decision and together they became a licensed foster family in 2005, a process that took about eight months of required classes, interviews and home visits. Counties, tribes, and private agencies license foster parents in Wisconsin. Over 5,100 foster homes across the state care for 8,000 foster children every year, according to the Wisconsin Department of Children and Families.

In the first six months, Helen cared for about six to eight children, some for a few days, a week or several months. Foster parents like Helen and Mike make a difference by providing a temporary, safe and caring home for children with parents who cannot care for them. Every child and his or her situation varied, but Helen took it all in stride.

“We had many babies come and go. When kids came into my care, and I heard their stories, some were horrendous,” Helen says. “I’m not easily shocked; it’s not my personality. It helped me to hear it to have a connection with the child and the family.”

As a foster parent, the primary goal is reunification of the family. “All of your actions and interactions with the child and their family should be supportive of the notion that the best place for a child is with their birth parents,” Helen says. “As long as the child’s safety is not in jeopardy, the best thing for the child is to be reunited with their parents.”

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Some parents enter foster care with the hopes that someday they may adopt a child. This is considered a “concurrent placement.” Concurrent goals for the child are first, reunification, and second, adoption. Some foster parents struggle with promoting reunification if they have a strong desire to adopt. This wasn’t the case for Helen and Mike, a practicing family physician.

“We had no intention to adopt. We were both in our 50s. We had four adult children in their 30s. We were talking about retirement sometime in our 60s,” Helen says.

Then Joshua came into their lives as a foster child in 2006.

Over the course of three years, Helen learned first-hand the tough realities of both the foster care and adoption systems. The long and painful journey that led to the celebration of adoption unexpectedly evolved out of consistent caring and love for a child.

Helen meets Joshua At two weeks old, Joshua was Helen’s youngest baby she had fostered. Even as she held him contentedly in her arms, “adopting him was the last the thing I wanted to do,” she says.

Helen established a good relationship with Joshua’s birth mom. She admits she took their relationship a few steps further than she typically did with other birth parents, such as offering to baby-sit even when Joshua wasn’t placed with her. “She didn’t feel threatened by me, as some parents do with foster parents, because she knew I wasn’t interested in adoption,” Helen says.

Joshua’s birth mom had a rough childhood, which set her down a path of poor choices and decisions. She struggled with drug addiction, but desperately wanted to keep her son. “From the very beginning, I wanted her to succeed,” Helen says. “She seemed so alone. She didn’t have anyone to help or encourage her.”

Joshua returned home after one month. When Joshua’s mom got a job that started early in the day, Helen offered to pick up Joshua and take care of him. Watching Joshua in the mornings often turned into full days, and sometimes entire weekends.

It was Helen’s decision to support Joshua’s birth mom and keep a watchful eye on her son.

During Joshua’s first years, he also lived off and on with his mother’s father and stepmother – his grandparents. This wasn’t

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an ideal situation. They tried to find another relative to care for Joshua. The birth father wasn’t involved. “The state encourages placement with a relative – kinship care – because foster care is expensive for the county, and again, it’s best for a child to live with his birth family,” Helen says. This happened for Joshua when he was one year old. Helen helped Joshua experience a healthy, gradual transition from her home to his aunt’s home.

Helen felt disappointed when Joshua’s stay with his aunt lasted only two weeks; he was returned to his mom, once again, who met court stipulations that she have a place to live and a job. “I still kept in touch with Joshua’s mom. I treated her with respect. I wanted to be a positive, consistent figure in Joshua’s life as well as for his mother,” Helen says.

Three months later, a turning point came when Joshua’s mom and her roommate, also a mother, took their babies on a road trip out of state. Joshua was 15 months old when his mother ended up in jail on the East Coast. Joshua’s grandparents drove across the country to bring him home. By the time Helen visited Joshua, he was very sick from neglect. “When he saw me, he ran to me and held on to me so tightly. It was like he was telling me to never let him go,” Helen says. “His grandma said that’s the most emotion he’d showed since they picked him up.”

Joshua’s first adoptive family When Joshua was 18 months old, Helen and Mike began to discuss the toll that inconsistent home placements was having on Joshua and them, too. Still, adopting didn’t seem to be the right decision. “We were older parents, and we weren’t sure we wanted to start over again,” Helen says. “We thought Joshua should have a younger couple with the possibility of other children in the family.”

Social workers informed her they were moving ahead to terminating parental rights, and a search for an adoptive home for Joshua proceeded. Helen didn’t want Joshua to move again, unless the county could be fairly certain that parental rights would be terminated. Her concerns seemed to be met when a couple desired to adopt Joshua when he was two years old. “We were going to let him go,” says Helen, who again helped Joshua ease into the adoptive parents’ home. “It was a hard transition. Joshua screamed and cried every time we left.” Joshua lived with his adoptive family while the county compiled the case against his mother to terminate parental rights.

“Joshua continued to have regular, supervised visits with his mother, which added more confusion and emotional trauma for Joshua in his new home,” Helen recounts. “The adoptive family wasn’t prepared to be involved with Joshua’s mother and making arrangements for her visits. Joshua’s mother wasn’t receptive to the adoptive parents either, because she knew they wanted to adopt him.”

Helen was shocked when she learned that Joshua, after living eight months in the adoptive home, returned to live with his birth mom, who was supposedly doing well and living again on her own. The county determined they didn’t have a strong enough case to terminate her parental rights. In a couple of months, they were living with the grandparents, and soon after, his mother was back in jail. The vicious cycle didn’t seem to have an end.

Then, like so many times before, the grandparents called Helen, asking her to take Joshua. Yet, this time, when Joshua came to

live with Helen and Mike, he never left. Finding his “forever home” with them was “meant to be,” Helen says. After at least 10 different changes of placement in his life of just over three years, Joshua was finally home.

Helen and Mike adopt Joshua The final steps toward adoption were highly emotional as both of Joshua’s birth parents voluntarily terminated their parental rights.

Oct. 19, 2011, is Joshua’s Adoption Day, and they celebrate it each year with a small party and a cake. Helen regularly wears a heart necklace with that date on it, along with Joshua’s name and birthstone on a tiny rectangle next to the heart on the chain.

Helen continues to believe in the importance of maintaining a positive connection with Joshua’s birth family. Joshua’s birth mom told Helen that her biggest fear was that she would never see her son again. She assured her that wouldn’t be true; they visit his birth mother every three to four months and regularly email one another. Joshua’s mom is doing well these days. Helen offered to send Joshua’s birth father photos a few times a year, which she’s done with his wishes. She plans to get Joshua together with him when the time seems right.

Today, Joshua is six years old and in the first grade. Although this story does have a happy ending – “we think of adoption as a celebration” – adopting doesn’t come without ups and downs, just like any parenting. Joshua’s tumultuous early years left emotional scars, surfacing mainly as behavioral issues, that only through time and hard work – and lots of love - will heal.

“We’ve been the only consistent and positive influence in Joshua’s life,” says Helen, who strongly believes all children should have a reliable, caring person in their life to provide a strong sense of love and security. Her experience with Joshua led her to CASA – Court Appointed Special Advocates. Trained volunteers support children involved in the court system as a result of abuse and neglect. Helen has represented several children as a CASA. Since Joshua’s adoption, she hasn’t been foster parenting, but she and Mike may renew their license some day. For Helen, providing unwavering loyalty and love for children is her life.

Kim Seidel is a freelance writer and editor based in Wisconsin.

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My natural teeth are not as white as the tooth that was crowned.

As we age, natural teeth get darker but porcelain crown work does not. A front porcelain crown that once matched the natural teeth in the smile line now appears brighter than the rest. This is very common. To try to blend the old crown to the rest of the teeth again, the most economical way to go is to purchase a whitening system from your dentist. This may alleviate the darkness of the natural teeth. One can stop the whitening process once the desired shade is attained.

However, sometimes the old crown is still an eyesore. In this case, patients should complete whitening and then proceed with a new crown. Today’s porcelain crowns are superior to those all porcelain crowns from even 10 years ago. The patient will love their new, whiter smile because their smile will look (and they will feel!) younger. Remember, the farthest distance between two people is lack of a smile!

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Q I am in my fifties and am hoping to have a few crowns in front replaced because they don’t match the adjoining teeth. I work fulltime and can’t get a lot of time off for personal business. I am hoping to get this accomplished ASAP. How many visits will I need for 4 crowns?

Also some of my teeth are a little chipped, is there a product to lengthen and smooth them out instead of crowning?

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Q&A continued on page 24

The average American female life expectancy is around 85years of age - that’s about another 35 years to go! Studies have shown that the first thing people notice about you are your eyes and teeth, well before they notice your hair and clothes. Many of our patients have told me that having mismatched teeth in the front makes them extremely self-conscious. They don’t smile as often as they would like to, which hides their true personalities. Also many patients believe that all crowns are created equal, so why bother?

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Nov. 7, 2013 through April 3, 2014

Concerts & Light Shows!

Discounts for Seniors* *Milwaukee County Seniors Age 60+, with Photo ID

(414) 257-5611 countyparks.com

November 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 27

lifestyle | In Fashion

Holidays with the familyWhat to wear?

W

By Faye Wetzel

We were talking in the store the other day that “the holidays are right around the corner.” The conversation segued into our individual family traditions. They ran the gamut from Thanksgiving dinner, which was more about the football than food, to the very formal Christmas Brunch.

So, what to wear? If your tribe leans towards casual, jeans are fine, but opt for a dressier, dark wash. And, how convenient that the designer sweatshirt is a trend this fall/ winter season! Of course, a cashmere sweater always works - cozy, yet sophisticated! Even if it’s pajamas around the tree on Christmas morning, consider throwing a pretty shawl around your shoulders rather than the kitten patterned fleece blanket. If the situation calls for dress-up, make the most of this festive time of year: bring on the sequins and that beautiful statement rhinestone necklace. And it is probably a good idea to tuck a pair of ballet flats in your tote for when your killer heels begin to ruin your holiday spirit.

Maybe your situation is “somewhere in the middle” of casual and glam?

A sweater dress, tights, and boots or flats look pulled together and never over done.

Oh, and what if you’re invited to an occasion and finding it tough to figure out what’s de rigeur? Maybe it’s the first holiday at future in-laws? I have what I call a Default Costume for times like this. Usually, it’s black pants, grey sweater and a blazer or cardigan. I throw a sequin scarf on with my coat. Upon arrival, if the family and guests are dressed up, the scarf stays looped around my neck; if everyone’s in sweats, the scarf stays with the coat…and maybe even the blazer gets hung in the closet.

There are no hard and fast rules in fashion anymore, and that holds true for the holidays. This time of year is harried and stressful, and we are usually thinking about everyone other than ourselves with all the gift-buying and entertaining. But, remember how much better we feel about everything when we are confident in what we’re wearing. So, take time NOW before things really ramp up to think about your holiday calendar and start to plan what you want to wear.

Getting organized and staying organized is one of the best things you can do to make sure there is PEACE ON (your) EARTH. •••• Happy Holidays, Yours in fashion, Faye Wetzel Owner, FAYE’S in Brookfield and Mequon www.fayes123.com P.S. BE LOYAL. SHOP LOCAL.

28 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November 2013

at home | Recipes

Unforgettable Feast

Put an Elegant Flavorful Twist on the Traditional Dinner BBQ Roast Turkey Servings: 6

1 10 to 12-pound turkey 1/4 cup butter, softened 3 cloves garlic, minced 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 3 lemons 2 small onions, quartered 3 cups prepared BBQ sauce 2 teaspoons soy sauce 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce 1 bay leaf Preheat oven to 400°F. Rinse turkey inside and out.

Pat dry.

In small bowl, combine butter, minced garlic, salt and pepper. Loosen skin of turkey and rub butter between skin and meat. Place lemons and onion inside cavity of turkey. Tie legs with kitchen string.

Combine BBQ sauce, soy sauce, Worces­tershire sauce and bay leaf in sauce­pan. Sim­mer 30 minutes to blend flavors. Discard bay leaf. Set aside until ready to use, 2 cups for basting and one cup for serving.

Place turkey on rack in heavy, large roast­ing pan.

Roast one hour, then reduce heat to 325°F. Brush turkey with 2 cups of BBQ sauce mixture. Roast 20 minutes.

Brush with BBQ sauce every 20 minutes, about 1 hour 10 minutes longer, for a total of 2 1/2 hours or until meat thermometer inserted into thick­est part of thigh registers 175°F. If turkey begins to get too brown, cover with foil while roasting.

Transfer turkey to platter. Cover loosely with foil and let rest 30 minutes before slicing.

Serve immediately with remaining cup of BBQ sauce mixture.

Baby Greens with Roasted Pears, Feta and Walnuts Servings: 4 to 6

4 firm, ripe pears (Bosc or Bartlett) peeled, cored and cut into 8 slices 1 teaspoon olive oil 8 cups baby greens 1/2 cup feta cheese, crumbled 1/2 cup walnuts, toasted Salt, to taste Freshly ground black pepper, to taste Choice of salad dressing Preheat oven to 400°F. On a parchment lined baking sheet, drizzle pears with olive oil.

Roast in oven until edges of pears begin to brown, but still firm. Cool. Gently toss baby greens and cooled pears in salad bowl.

Sprinkle feta and walnuts over salad. Season with salt and pepper. Serve immediately with choice of dressing.

Suggested dressings: Ranch, Champagne Vinaigrette or Strawberry Poppy Seed.

November 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 29

at home | Crafters’ Corner

Thanksgiving Centerpieces Your Budget Will Be

Thankful For

Thanksgiving is all about being thankful. When it comes to decorating the table for Thanksgiving you don’t need a lot of money, just creativity. Among thrift store, dollar and craft store finds it’s possible to pull together an amazing tablescape without ruining your budget.

Many rustic fall decorations can be found outside: pine cones, acorns, pumpkins, gourds, flowers, leaves, twigs all work well together when displayed with candles, in glass jars, or in colorful baskets.

The grocery store is also a great place to find some inexpensive items that make your table pop with color and dimension. Berries, nuts, dried beans & peas, fruit, cinnamon sticks pull double duty.

Dollar and thrift stores are an excellent source for glass items when paired with candles and other items will brighten the area creating more dimension.

After deciding if you are trying to achieve a centerpiece or a tablescape that extends the length of the table, you can create balance by arranging items of varying height and color near each other in small groupings. With minimal fuss you can create a welcoming setting that will impress your guests and your budget.

How to Dehydrate Fruit for use in Decorations Lemon, lime and orange slices have been used in crafting for hundreds of years. Their beautiful scents and natural look bring warmth to any project. If you don’t have access to a dehydrator, that’s okay you can use your oven.

Preheat oven to 150 degrees.

Put a wire rack on top of a cookie sheet. The heat needs to flow evenly through each fruit slice in order to dry it.

30 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November 2013

All you need: Glass Cylinders, Vases Candles, Various Colors and Sizes Ribbon Pine Cones Indian Corn Gourds Mini-Pumpkins Dried Beans & Peas

Cut your fruit into ¼” slices and dip in mixture of 1/2 cup lemon juice and 1/2 cup water and place in a single layer on the wire rack. This process will help preserve the color. Bake for 6-8 hours until the slices are dried out. Turn slices every 2 hours to prevent burning. Leave oven door ajar so the moisture can escape.

Remove the dried slices from your oven, they may still be a bit moist in the middle, but they will finish drying on their own as they are cooling down. Use as wanted.

lifestyle | A Man’s Perspective

This festive season begins As we approach the Holiday season, family get-togethers come to mind.

As do parties and events where we should be on our best behavior, right?

By Grant Johnson

T

This leads me to the question on manners and how things have changed since I was a young boy. It seems to me, we then were in less of a hurry and more often than not, would allow the other driver to get into the flow of traffic. I know for sure I saw the bird flying out of other divers’ hands a lot less years ago.

It seems today if we say thank you, less and less people respond with sarcastic “you’re welcome,” more often.

I rarely see younger people helping older folks; kids getting up to give an older person a seat on public transportation or someone with a cart full of groceries allowing the person behind with only a few items to skip ahead.

I recall going to a grade school meeting years ago and a parent was complaining to the assembly that the school did not do a good job of teaching her children manners?

Huh? I always thought that was something you learn at home.

Yes, they could reinforce good manners, but is it really the school’s job to teach them what constitutes being polite? Good manners help turn children into more caring adults and, dare I say, make them better people.

One thing I am quite proud of is my kids’ manners. Parental bragging perhaps, but almost all new people who meet

my kids comment specifically about how polite they are.

“Please.” “Thank you.” “Can I help you with anything?”

Yes, it takes work to constantly remind them to use their manners and now that we are all older, they often remind my wife and I when we forget to say please and thank you. It’s a great feeling, really.

Today we are more, but somehow less connected than ever before. It’s funny how social media has made too many of us less social, and with that trend, we forget the importance of manners in society.

As a Midwesterner who travels a lot for business, people seem surprised at “how nice we are.” That’s something to be proud of, but there is more work to do. The nicer we are, hopefully the nicer the next person will be.

When’s the last time you received a hand-written thank you note? Surprise someone and send them one. You can start the chain to bringing politeness back into vogue!

•••• Grant A. Johnson is the founder and CEO of Brookfield-based Johnson Direct, a full service, measurable marketing firm. He has four children from 14 to 21 and has been married to his wife, Maria, for over 23 years.

November 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 31

generations | Parent Care Are you Medicare-certified?

HOME HEALTH CARE AIDES

l Do you do full background checks, and check

Answers for your perfect fit

for driver’s licenses, on your employees?

By Sharon Naylor

Home health care aides are in high demand for seniors.

Some seniors might have just come home from the hospital, are recovering from surgery, need care for a chronic illness or simply wish to remain in their homes as they convalesce rather than move to an assisted care facility. Home care services range from medical care -- including medication dosing and medical device applications, help with mobility and monitoring vitals -- to everyday household needs.

When shopping for home care aides, you’ll have to determine what your needs will be during your recovery time and for the foreseeable future.

Get recommendations of home care agencies or professionals from your doctor. This is one professional you must research extremely well; they will be granted access to your home and belongings, will be around your family members and will need to have the professionalism and dedication to meet your needs with a positive attitude.

The experts at the Mayo Clinic say that when you’re looking for the perfect home care aide, ask detailed questions of a physician-recommended agency or home health care individual to be sure you receive top-notch care from an experienced, licensed and bonded home care aide. For example: l How long has your licensed agency been in

business, and which certifications do you have?

l Can the agency provide references? Always put

these recommended agencies and experts through your careful interview process, even if they come highly recommended by your doctor. l Do you work with my doctor to create a plan of

care? l Do you provide a free home visit and interview

prior to my contracting with you? l How do you train your caregivers? Explain the

courses they must take, and any certifications they must achieve. l Are your caregivers licensed and insured? Ask

also whether the workers are bonded, which covers you if the worker breaks an appliance in your home or if he or she steals something. l Do I get to interview and choose the home

caregiver, or will someone be assigned to me? l Will I be assigned one home caregiver, or will

different caregivers show up at different times? l What is your monitoring policy of home caregiv-

ers?

Your Parents. Our Privilege TRUST CLEMENT MANOR FOR A CONTINUUM OF CARE • Adult Day Services • Transitional Care • Independent and Assisted Living • Memory Care • Long-Term Care • Lifelong Learning When the time comes that you need to make difficult decisions, we can help.

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l Can I see an itemized list of your charges and

what’s not covered? l Will your agency take care of all billing and insurance paperwork related to my home care aide?

Next, you’ll interview home health care and home care aides to find your perfect fit. This person will be responsible for your personal care as well as your living environment, so it’s advisable to arrange for in-person interviews. In addition to the essential interview questions, you’re also looking for a personal connection and an easy rapport with the person you’d like to invite in your home to care for you. If a home care aide doesn’t want to come for an in-person interview, eliminate him or her from consideration.

Questions to ask include:

l How long have you been a home health care aide? l Where did you get your education and training, and which certifications do you have? l Are you licensed, insured and bonded? l Do you have experience with all the types of care that I need? l Do you have your own reliable transportation, as well as backup transportation? This is a very important question, so that you’re not left alone because of a care worker’s car trouble.

Looking for some help?

Our respite program may be the solution.

The Courtyards at Luther Manor’s dedicated staff members and volunteers provide residents with individualized care, while respecting their desire for an independent lifestyle. Whether residents need a hand with routine activities, or require additional assistance with managing medicine or memory support, a wide range of services are available.

For more information about Luther Manor’s respite opportunities for caregivers or to SCHEDULE A TOUR PLEASE CONTACT #LIENT 2ELATIONS AT EXT OR live@luthermanor.org.

Ask about our Caregiver’s Support Group WHICH MEETS MONTHLY AT ,UTHER -ANOR

Luther Manor Senior Living Community . ND 3T p 7AUWATOSA 7)

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November 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 33

special advertising | Hotel Spa Guide

By Maureen Slattery

In my world, there is nothing better than spending a weekend or even just a day at one of the fine spa hotels that Wisconsin offers. We are very fortunate to have some of the very best in the country and even the world located right our own backyard. Sundara Spa, set in the scenic outskirts of the Dells, was voted as one of the Top 10 Destination Spas in the World by Travel and Leisure Magazine. As a frequent spa visitor while traveling and on press excursions, I definitely rank Sundara to be in my top 5 for overall experience.

First of all, Sundara is nestled in an absolutely gorgeous setting, and the overall atmosphere is the definitely of tranquility. The staff at Sundara is truly exceptional. Every time I visit, they go out of their way to be accommodating. I can tell you that I have visited some facilities in which the staff can tend to be a little stiff and put on. When I am at a place to de-stress, staff attitude can make or break the overall therapeutic experience.

So rounding out my top 5 list for spas with hotels in Wisconsin are: Sundara Inn and Spa, Wisconsin Dells; The Well Spa at The Pfister, Milwaukee; Aspira Spa at The Osthoff, in Elkhart Lake; Kohler Water Spa at The American Club, Kohler; and Evensong Spa at the Heidel House Resort, in Green Lake.

Sundara Inn & Spa

For reservations and gift certificates please call 888.735.8181 sundarareservations@sundaraspa.com, SundaraSpa.com

Inspired holiday gifts.

Fall may winding down but that’s no reason to fret, with gifts from Sundara you’ll be at the top of their list all year long.

A holiday gift card from Sundara is always thoughtful and so very coveted, we even include gifts with your purchase:

A foodie-inspired holiday gift Purchase a $500 gift card and receive our just-released Sundara Cookbook*.

A favorite spa holiday gift Purchase a $250 gift card and receive a signature Sundara keepsake ornament*.

®

Sundara Inn & Spa, is nestled in a 26-acre fragrant pine forest on the scenic outskirts of Wisconsin Dells.

888.735.8181 sundaraspa.com *Offers valid November 15 - December 26. Not valid on virtual gift card orders.

34 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November 2013

Sundara is an extraordinary destination spa tucked away in a fragrant pine forest on the scenic outskirts of Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin. They offer 26 richly-appointed suites which are larger than most. There is also a private Villa in the woods. In the spa, there are 16 treatment rooms; three Spa Together rooms with sideby-side massage tables, as well as custom bath experiences and a Spa Suite with oversized bath. Guests may also enjoy a Purifying Bath Ritual, Tranquility Garden, Meditation Trail, Hammock Retreat and Relaxation Lounge with calming views to the curving infinity edge pool, which is heated year-round. Spa cuisine features creative, seasonal and organic ingredients sourced locally whenever possible. Sundara’s spa products draw from indigenous botanicals and minerals.

Services

Sundara offers three series of services: The Sundara Series uses a traditional spa approach, The Chakra Series, uses ancient Ayurvedic principles blended with Western and European therapies, and The Organic Series incorporates the age-old remedies of organic plant ingredients and the healing powers that only nature can produce. Sundara also offers a variety of spa and salon services ranging from massages and facials to body treatments, bath services and salon finishing services, and even a series just for men. Locally sourced, seasonally fresh, organic cuisine is available. Seasonally, the outdoor infinity edge cabana serves a lighter menu, energizing snacks, smoothies and beverages. Cuisine is a la carte. Complimentary fruit granola, hot tea, iced tea, water and coffee are available in the boutique and in the Relaxation Lounge.

Sundara has a handful of day spa packages, along with overnight packages for honeymoons, babymoons and anniversaries, as well as celebrations, girlfriends’ getaways, couple and solo escapes. Visit their website to learn the details of all overnight offers. They offer Birthday Club discounts and series pricing is available on many services for repeat spa guests.

Sundara celebrated their 10 year anniversary in 2013.

therapy Bath, and Hammam Steam Showers. Also offered is the Orchid Room, a cozy room for special occasions. WELL Spa opened in April of 2008.

To read the rest of this article about the Aspira Spa, Kohler Waters Spa, and Evensong Spa please see our website: http://mymilwaukeelife.com/news/2013/ nov/01/ hotel-day-spas.

WELL Spa + Salon, at The Pfister Hotel

414-277-9207 Contact for gift certificates 414-277.9207 or www.pfisterwellspa.com

Be WELL. Feel WELL. Spa WELL. If you looking for a fun place for a girlfriends weekend or a romantic getaway Milwaukee’s Pfister Hotel is legendary and won’t disappoint. Home to The Pfister’s Turkish Baths more than a century ago, this luxurious personal suite spa redefines the spa experience. Each treatment suite has its own personal bathroom & shower, with every amenity imaginable (heated floors & robes, personal iPod or satellite music, choice of aromatherapy & adjustable temperature settings for the room & treatment table). It is truly an extraordinary spa experience.

WELL Spa + Salon features Milwaukee’s

only private-suite day spa. From the moment you enter, it’s all about you.

Rejuvenating facials, advanced massage therapy, exotic body rituals and signature

salon services are provided in a gracious comforting setting where you can relax in quiet elegance.

Come, make time for yourself, and let

WELL Spa + Salon nourish your mind, body, and soul.

Services

002730_WELL Spa_Ad_10.09.13_3.5x7.34.indd 1

10/10/13 11:25 AM

If you are looking for a unique service, a must try is the Signature Facial, The Vie 3D Face & Wrinkle Treatment, the Remineralizing Hydrotherapy Bath or Hammam Steam Shower + Mineral Mud. The spa services are 60-90 minutes. The full-service salon includes professional haircuts & color, hair & eyelash extensions, special occasion hair, airbrush makeup, and a myriad of nail services, all provided by Milwaukee’s most talented artists.

WELL Spa offers complimentary fresh fruit, nuts, and trail mix, along with fruit infused water. They also offer a complimentary glass of champagne or mimosa to celebrate special occasions with a special treat. The Pfister Hotel serves breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The Pfister is a Marcus property and as such offers Marcus|Rewards points based on the dollars spent on spa services. Those points accumulate to dollars you can spend on complimentary services in the future.

Points accumulated in any Marcus Restaurants may also be used on spa services and vice versa.

The spa has 35 associates and 10 treatment suites, including 2 couples massage or facial suites, Hydro-

Be WELL. Feel WELL. Spa WELL. WELL Spa + Salon features Milwaukee’s only private-suite day spa. From the moment you enter, it’s all about you.

Rejuvenating facials, advanced massage therapy, exotic body rituals and signature salon services are provided in a gracious comforting setting where you can relax in quiet elegance.

Come, make time for yourself, and let WELL Spa + Salon nourish your mind, body, and soul.

November2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 35 002730_WELL Spa_Ad_10.09.13_3.5x7.34.indd 1

10/10/13 11:25 AM

snap shots | We Saw You At . . .

Janet Engelbrecht of Brookfield and her Airedales, Buck and Cutter

The 6th Annual Wagfest

By Margaret Pearson This happy, tail wagging event was again conducted by the Elmbrook Humane Society in Brookfield at Mitchell Park. Many hundreds of canines of all descriptions and their human companions had a wonderful time. The weather fortunately was perfect.

Lynn Rose of Brookfield, with her English bulldog, who is also named Rose, and her Lhasa apso, Staley.

Debbie Black of Janesville didn’t have a hat but her two little pals, Sophie and Lucky, both shelties, did.

Beth Furume and Johannes Vohren of Brookfield with their two collies, Max and Zeus.

Dave Burleton of Brookfield and his mountain dog, Bermen.

36 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November2013

C.J. Bacelis-Bush of Milwaukee and her cocker, Charlie, who obviously loves to be carried.

pets | Dog Talk

Baby Talk

? question ?

Our 4-and-a-half-year-old miniature

bull terrier, Baby, is the most loving and affectionate dog on the planet, but she will hunt and attack her brother at home.

She came to live with us last fall from a family leaving the country. She wasn’t

well cared for. She was undernourished and kept behind a couch in an apartment for four years. We loved her, gave

her attention, socialized her and gave her more love.

I believe her behavior problems are

territorial in nature, as she was not ag-

gressive initially and is not aggressive to any dog at the dog park. But we have had to keep Baby away from our other

dog, Rosco, for the past six months, with

a baby gate and locked doors. She barks and is aggressive when she sees

her brother through the gate. If they come in contact, she initiates a fullblown

dogfight,

including

puncture

wounds.

Rosco only defends himself and is

not aggressive in any way, shape or form. But the fights are bad. My wife usu-

ally is the one who gets bit. We have

thought to use a muzzle, but we haven’t actually tried it yet. We are at our wits’ end and really don’t want to get rid of Baby, as she loves us to death -- and I really love her. What do you think?

answer

I think it’s time to lose the love goggles and call a pro. You need an objective third party who understands canine behavior to help you determine whether peace can be achieved through training. I can tell you right now that it can’t be achieved through love. And if it’s decided that peace in your household is about as likely as Israel and Iran exchanging Valentines, then you’re going to have to find a new home for Baby -- a home in which she will be the only dog.

It’s clear that you love Baby.

I’d like to think you love Rosco and your wife, as well. And if someone has to go, I’m betting Rosco and your wife would not be as conflicted about voting Baby off the island.

They’re getting bit. Puncture wounds. Poor Rosco never knows when he’s going to get pummeled, and your wife surely is tired of getting caught in the middle. It’s only a matter of time before someone sustains a serious injury.

For now, absolutely keep the two dogs separate at all times -- for the safety of everyone under that roof. And if you can keep them from seeing each other, as well, even better. But don’t isolate either one of them. They both need frequent and ongoing exposure to you and your wife; they both need exercise; they both need rules and boundaries and, yes, love and affection.

And call a trainer. Look for someone who has expertise in dog aggression. Avoid anyone who tries to curb dog aggression with human aggression. This is very important. If you reach the conclusion that Baby needs to be an only dog, and you need to find her a new home, the job of finding wonderful new owners will be much easier if her only issue is an unwillingness to share her turf with another dog.

But it’s time to drop the Baby talk and be a grownup. This is no way to live, and it’s not a problem that will go away on its own.

Woof!

Dog trainer Matthew “Uncle Matty” Margolis is co-author of 18 books about dogs, a behaviorist, a popular radio and television guest, and host of the PBS series “WOOF! It’s a Dog’s Life!” Read all of Uncle Matty’s columns at www.creators.com, and visit him at www.unclematty.com.

November 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 37

at home | Decor

Five Tips for

Lighting Small Spaces

Lighting a small space can be a tricky task, as small spaces limit the size of the fixtures you can use as well as the intensity of the lights. Too much light not only makes a small room too bright, it also creates unnecessary heat, which can make the area uncomfortable.

It can be difficult to find stylish, practical lighting solutions that don’t take up too much room in small spaces—but poorly lit areas can be depressing and difficult to work in. Fortunately, there are solutions for lighting small spaces, fitting numerous styles and budgets. Members of the Milwaukee/NARI Home Improvement Council, Inc., the area’s leading home improvement and remodeling industry resource for 52 years, offers five options for lighting small areas.

1.

Save floor space with ceiling mounted fixtures.

In areas with precious floor space like powder rooms, half baths, and hallways, it is important to keep things as clutter-free as possible. Ceiling mounted light fixtures will help to give the space an open and more spacious feeling. Lighting Specialist Patty Donnelly of Ferguson Bath, Kitchen & Lighting Gallery in Milwaukee offered ways to incorporate ceiling mounted fixtures in different spaces, suggesting, “In a small closet, a simple flat disc style could be used in an LED or fluorescent, both providing plenty of light for the area while staying cool in temperature, where a more decorative and dramatic ceiling mount fixture could be used in a small powder room or hallway.” Donnelly added, “Any type of chandelier or dramatic piece can really make a statement in a space often used or accessed by guests.”

2.

Think multipurpose with decorative lighted mirrors. Lighted mirrors serve a two-fold purpose— first, the mirror makes the small space seem larger; second, lighting near mirrors not only provides the original source of light, but also fills the room with reflected light. With one wall mounted fixture working double-time, the room can be fully illuminated without clutter. Depending on the décor of the space, there are plenty of options from which to choose.

38 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November2013

3.

Get a clean, dramatic look with recessed lighting. For spaces limited by both floor space and ceiling height, recess lighting is ideal. The fixtures take up zero room, only adding to the ambiance of a room. “Recess cans work well in a small space, as the cans almost disappear,” said Donnelly. Most recessed lighting fixtures are dimmable, providing customizable options for lighting an area.

4.

Capitalize on wall space with sconces and direct lighting fixtures. Sconces create indirect lighting, which provides an all-over glow or layering with current lighting. Many wall sconces are available with direct light toward the ceiling or floor, instead of directly into the room. Indirect lighting sconces direct light toward both the ceiling and the floor. Sconces can easily add to the décor in any space and range from understated to elaborate in design.

Direct lighting is less muted and comes in a great variety of creative styles.

5.

Go green with TDDs. Keith Johnson of Wisconsin Brighter Concepts, Ltd. in Shorewood explained that Tubular Daylighting Devices (TDDs) capture sunlight on a rooftop, redirect it down a reflective shaft, and diffuse it throughout an interior space, providing a large amount of light in a small, attractive size. “TDDs put out about as much light as you would expect from a skylight many times its size, and at a lower price,” Johnson said. “When using them in small spaces, one fixture can illuminate the entirety of areas like closets, pantries, powder rooms, and half baths.” TDDs also benefit the environment and can lower power costs by allowing homeowners to switch off electric lights during the day.

For more information, visit www.milwaukeenari.org.

lifestyle | Entertainment

November

Activities for All Where to go

Where to go for a fair?

Holiday Folk Fair International Exposition Center at Wisconsin State Fair Park.

November 15 – 17.

Where to go to for a parade?

Milwaukee Holiday Parade 9:30 a.m., November 23 Downtown Milwaukee.

Veterans Day Celebration Following the Milwaukee Veterans Day Parade, the Harley-Davidson MuseumÂŽ will have free Museum entry for Military and their families. Free entry with valid Military ID for 1 additional adult and up to four children 18 years old or younger.

November 9, 2013 - November 10, 2013 Downtown Milwaukee

Where to go for holiday entertainment?

The musical “White Christmas�

Playing at the Marcus Center for Performing Arts.

Peace & Quiet

Looking for a great holiday event to go to?

The Pabst Theater, ‘A Christmas Carol,’ November 29 – December 24, milwaukeerep.com or 414-224-9490.

What to buy for those on your Autumn specials to match the splendor of the season. list that have everything?

Looking for that Gift certificate from the Sundara Inn and Spa special piece of jewelry?

DIJDMZ EFDPSBUFE TVJUFT t QSJWBUF TQB WJMMB 608-253-9200.

Bangles and Bags PVUEPPS JOĂśOJUZ QPPM PQFO ZFBS SPVOE 611 Main St., Delafield, 262-646-4534.

Where to see the sights of the season?

QVSJGZJOH CBUI SJUVBM t TPPUIJOH TQB TFSWJDFT Need a great vacuum and service?

Downtown Milwaukee parks.

DIBNQJPOTIJQ HPMG t PSHBOJD DVJTJOF Brookfield Vacuum Center 262-783-4464.

Where to get information on wine pairing for upcoming holiday meals?

Cedar Creek Winery Cedarburg

Forever Plaid

On a stormy night in the 1960s, four eager ™ What to get as that special gift? singers known as “The Plaidsâ€?—Sparky, Jinx, Milwaukee County Zoo Pass from the Zoological Society Frankie, and Smudge—are killed in a car crash ÂŽ (414) 258-2333. ÂŽ on the way to their first big gig. In 2013, they get one chance to return from the afterlife and Have an artist in the family Nestledwho in a 26 acre fragrant pine forest on the scenic bop-shoo-bop their way through classic hits like needs supplies as a great gift? “Love is a Many Splendored Thing,â€? “Three Coins Visit Artist and Display outskirts of Wisconsin Dells. Adult-only for tranquility. in the Fountain,â€? “Sixteen Tons,â€? and many more.

You won’t need to go anywhere else.

Website: artistanddisplay.com or their location at Now til - December 29, 2013 9015 West Burleigh.

Milwaukee Repertory Theater

888.735.8181

sundaraspa.com

November 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 39

Aurora

40 | WISCONSIN WOMAN November2013