THE PLAIN DEALER NEPTUNE THEATRE VOL # 59
MAY 3 - JUNE 26, 2022
BOOK, MUSIC AND LYRICS BY RICHARD O'BRIEN
THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW
RICHARD O'BRIENS
PRESENTED BY SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT WITH SAMUEL FRENCH, INC., A CONCORD THEATRICALS COMPANY.
MAYHEM AT THE MANSION!
The bizarre events at the residence of Dr. Frank N. Furter continue to unravel. BY DAVID RODENHISER
ultiple police and government agencies M are investigating a series of bizarre events alleged to have occurred overnight at the re-
mote residence of Dr. Frank N. Furter. “Unimaginable crimes transpired within those walls,” confided an expert criminologist who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “The authorities are investigating allegations of murder, motorcycle hooliganism, cabaret dancing and unholy experiments to create life itself. There are even rumours of aliens from a distant planet.” Pressed on which planet, the criminologist replied, “It would have to be a world of complete moral ambiguity... perhaps Neptune!” Police first began combing the area after a recently engaged couple, Brad Majors and Janet Weiss, were reported missing while en route to visit their former high school science teacher, Dr. Everett Scott. The young couple’s car was found with a flat tire a few kilometres from the Furter property. It’s believed that Majors and Weiss made their way to the residence of Dr. Furter in search of assistance. Dr. Scott apparently arrived at the scene at some later point, because police were observed taking him, Majors and Weiss into custody for questioning early this morning. Witnesses described the trio as “dressed provocatively.” Police sources suggest that Dr. Scott – who now, curiously, works as a high-ranking government researcher into the UFO phenomenon – had gone to the Furter property in search of his missing nephew Eddie, a motorcycle enthusiast with a long history of delinquency. It is alleged that Dr. Furter murdered Eddie and then at-
tempted to serve his remains in some sort of cannibalistic ritual. Dr. Furter’s whereabouts are presently unknown, and his background is a mystery. His academic credentials could not be independently validated. Area residents recounted Dr. Furter stating that he performed advanced experiments in “bio-chemical research” and that he was originally from Transylvania. Indeed, an “Annual Transylvanian Convention” was reported to be taking place at the Furter residence during last night’s events. However, in a baffling discovery that government authorities are working to unravel, the Furter estate, described by locals as an immense Gothic castle, has been entirely razed from the property. No trace remains of the massive stone mansion. “It just beamed up into the sky – the whole thing. I swear, I haven’t been drinking,” insisted an eyewitness who had clearly been drinking. “That Dr. Frankenfurter feller, he threw great parties, but he was always peculiar. He had a creepy butler and maid, brother and sister, I think. They seemed like the were Come From Aways. No blame in that. I mean, we all like to take a jump to the left and a step to the right every now and then, don’t we?” While this reporter is presently unprepared to verify that he wrote this article while wearing a fuchsia corset, gartered fishnets and rhinestone stilettos, he can confirm that, as of press time, many questions remain unanswered. We await further revelations with antici....
Photo: Residence of Dr. F.N. Furter, prior to the events detailed . STOCK
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"Oh, it's nicer than Betty Monro e had!"
MAY 3 - JUNE 26, 2022
THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW