8 minute read
INDERJIT SINGH
from Courage
Love Yourself: Be Your Own… ...beyond self-transcendence
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— BY INDERJIT SINGH
One day I woke up and realised I was not made for anyone; I was made for me. I am my own. Regardless of how anyone else feels about me, I am going to choose to love myself today, every day and forever! And thus, started my self-realisation process. Self-realisation is an expression prevalent in both, the Western & Eastern philosophy, psychology and spirituality; an understanding of the "fulfillment by oneself of the possibilities of one's character, personality and growth."
Self-Love is Key to Life
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. I decided to put myself at the top of my “to-do-list” every single day. Easy, as it may sound, it has not been a simple progression. It entailed several meticulously planned steps to go through the journey with courage, conviction and resolve for spiritual self-realisation; beginning with the dawning of self-awareness followed by self-exploration.... self-discovery ...self-understanding......self-transformation.... self-mastery… and culminating into self-transcendence.
To love yourself is to understand, first and foremost, that you yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, first deserve your love and affection. There’s no need to be perfect to love yourself or inspire others. How people treat you is their “karma”; how you react is yours! Do not get upset with people or situations, both are powerless without your reaction. Let others get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.
Be Your Own
Your search begins and ends here. You have now reached your inflexion point in your quest for a transformational change and a quantum leap in self-discovery. You have now joined me here to be a part of my exclusive world and have begun your journey to fulfillment. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have. If you don’t love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else. Very elementary, you can't share or give something you do not have, in the first place. You can't make anyone love you without loving yourself first. If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror. It is you and nobody else. Love is who you are!
To all those cynics who are critics of the concept of self-love; we may then together clarify that self-love is not being selfish - you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself. Falling in love with yourself doesn’t make you vain or selfish. It makes you endearing. Don't waste your energy trying to change opinions. Don’t seek validation. Do your thing, and don't care if they like it or not. Owning our story and loving ourselves through this process is the bravest thing that we'll ever do.
Your joie de vivre, which literally means ‘joy of living’ in French is your delight in simply living your life. People who seem to enjoy life in a cheerful and spirited way are often described as having joie de vivre.
The song ‘Love Yourself’ by Justin Bieber with 1.7 billion views and 7.5 million likes and its popularity among the prestigious American Music Award in 2016 stands testimony to my narrative here.
Transcendence Decoded
Transcendence in simple words is the act of rising above something to a superior state. Transcendence comes from the Latin prefix trans-, meaning "beyond," and the word scandare, meaning "to climb."
When you achieve transcendence, you have gone beyond ordinary limitations. The definition of self-transcendence is extraordinary or beyond human experience. Talking to God is an example of a transcendent experience. There exist three kinds of transcendence; Ego- transcendence i.e. self: beyond ego, Self-Transcendence i.e. beyond the self: the other, and Spiritual-Transcendence i.e. beyond space and time.
Although people may view self-transcendence in ways that vary based on their own value-systems or perceptions, the general idea behind it is the same. Self-transcendence is, at its core, about transcending or rising above the self and relating to that which is greater than the self. In simpler terms, it is the realization that you are one small part of a greater whole, and acting accordingly. That which is greater than the self can be a range of things; human beings in general, nature, the universe, divine power, etc. It doesn’t matter what the greater thing is, only that there is something greater than the self.
Be Mentally Strong:
Research shows that the feel-good factor that comes with self-love and consequently self-esteem effects all aspects of our life. Feeling good can give confidence and motivation to meet challenges and seek out fulfillment. Feeling bad about oneself can hold one back from being successful. Either way, self-esteem can have a big impact on our wellness and mental strength. No one can make you feel lesser without your consent.
Self-love is at the core of mental healthcare. Mental strength involves developing habits that build mental muscle. It also involves giving up habits that hold you back. We are all able to become mentally stronger, the key is to keep practicing and exercising your mental muscles - just as you would if you were trying to build physical strength!
What other people think of us is none of our business. One of the things over which we have absolutely no control is what others think of us. Trying toto change their mind, is a wasteful errand at best. Instead, we need to have the strength to ignore the distractors and remember that our value is based on who we are on the inside, and not based on what others think of us. Be proud of who you are. When I accept myself just as I am, I am freed from the burden of needing others accept me. This is reassuring and hopeful for all those who aren’t the same as everyone else. It is a reminder for all of us, to remember what we have that is good, useful and helpful, and to not worry about what other people see or think.
Self-love doesn’t mean that everyone will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It means that you won’t let them change the way you see yourself; nor will you allow them to sabotage you. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.
Dare to be Different
No one is you and that is your power. You are unique. Be unique instead of being the best. Because being the best makes you just number One but being unique makes you the Only One! Being Unique matters? At its core, unique means “being the only one of its kind; unlike anything else”.
“Be daring, be different, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose, and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary” said Sir Cecil Beaton, the British photographer, an Academy Award winning costume and set designer, known primarily for his portraits of celebrated persons.
You are free, you are powerful, you are good, you are love, you have value, you have a purpose. Eat like you love yourself. Move like you love yourself. Speak like you love yourself. Act like you love yourself.
The Last word
Be yourself. Be your own. You were born to be real, not to be perfect. An original is so much better than a copy. You may have some limitations. You must strive to look and go beyond your “perceived limitations”. You created them and only you can dispel them. You have to believe in yourself when no one else does - that makes you a winner right here. So, since you are unique, why not celebrate that fact? Dare to be your own person and disregard what others may think.
The person in life that you will always be with the most, is yourself. Have the courage to accept yourself. When you accept and love yourself amazing things happen.
You become more aware of who you are and you gain confidence. You know what you deserve and what kind of behavior you should and shouldn't accept, so you don't let people get away with manipulating you to suite their own agenda. Hold on to your own strings and let no one remote-control you!
To fall in love with yourself is the secret to eternal happiness. Just Love Yourself!
About
Inderjit Singh
Inderjit has served as an ICAO airport development consultant in several countries of Asia, South-East Asia, Middle-East, Africa and South America. He was the CEO of IGI Airport, New Delhi – the 16th busiest in the world. He has hands-on-experience of all functional aspects of administration and operations of a major international airport. He is an MBA, followed by advanced management course at “Henley-the Management College”, Oxford shire, UK, and on aviation management from the University of California, Berkeley, USA.
He can be reached at inderjit.singh@aviationanalyst.net
