Solace in Solitude

A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented person is so much more attractive than a man or a woman who waits around for someone to validate his or her existence says Inderjit Singh – an author, an international bureaucrat, an aviation enthusiast, and a keen student of human psychology.

INDERJIT SINGH

The quote “My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude.” rings a bell and resonates a good deal with my thought process. It somewhat relates with my life philosophy of “love me or leave me.” I am of the belief that we ought to feel complete and comfortable in our own skin. I am intrigued by the phrase often referred to one’s partner as “better half.” In total completeness, one does not have to look for halves. Our acceptance of all the pieces of ourselves is what makes us whole. In wholeness we blissfully -attune to our physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional aspects.

I have learned that I am enough for myself; I do not need someone else to complete me. Be that as it may, solace is all about finding peace and harmony within oneself. It is about - a contented, satisfied and a happy state of mind. As for me, I find peace and solace in solitude. By figuring out how to feel at ease in our own flesh, we become less dependent on external validation from friends, family members and colleagues which unlocks greater levels of confidence and independence within us.

SOLACE: LIVING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT

True peace and solace can be found in the realization that life is meant to be lived deeply and beautifully in the present moment.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination. There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. This realization must dawn on us now. It is now or never, tomorrow will be too late!

So, treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.

I suggest we internalize this idea, that peace, joy, and mental tranquillity is always accessible in the present. Never postpone it for later. We feel stressed out because we postpone real living to some imaginary destination and reserve joy and aliveness only when our hopes get fulfilled.

There are no destinations to reach in real life, just amazing journeys to keep living.

Therefore, daily existence can take on a deeper, more beautiful, and quieter trait. Solace often comes from finding emotional or psychological connect through various means such as companionship, nature, music, or engaging in activities that bring joy to the soul.

SOLITUDE: THE GLORY OF BEING ALONE

No where can one find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than within one’s own soul. The soul finds solace in solitude. In the quite of solitude, we discover the loudest whispers of our soul; for solitude is a sanctuary for self-reflection. Sometimes we need to be alone to find out who we really are and what we want in life.

It is noteworthy that being alone is not being lonely, it is a purposeful isolation.

Loneliness is characterized by a sense of isolation, while solitude is a state of being alone without loneliness and can lead to intense self-awareness.

Purposeful solitary time can be a game changer in the way one moves through life and the way life moves around us. Learning to be alone with one’s own thoughts can be a truly magical experience. It is a constructive state of self-engagement, where solitude is not only desirable but also a state of being alone that provides us with optimum and sufficient company.

Solitude is a healthy, personal discipline that allows one to engage in meaningful selfreflection. Psychologists define ‘solitude’ as the state of being physically alone with no one else to communicate with - not to be confused with loneliness, or the feeling of being disconnected from others and longing for connection. Solitude creates space for meaningful reflection and restructuring our priorities to reflect our values better. Loneliness however, is a state of sadness because one has no friends or company.

Loneliness expresses the sorrow of being alone and solitude represents the glory of being alone.

Engaging in solitude appropriately has positive effects on our personal and professional life. Spending intentional time alone can sharpen our focus and provide clarity that is hard to attain in the middle of a busy life. However, all said and done, it is an individual’s choice. Some individuals need company to gain a better understanding of themselves, to harmonize with their inner selves, while others find their joy in the midst of a crowd. Each to their own.

Solace In Solitude

There is solace within our solitude, as loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the wealth of self.

“Solace” denotes the ability to provide comfort, “solitude” simply means being in one’s own company. Finding solace in solitude is one of the greatest lessons one can learn in life.Enjoying our alone time or “me time’ creates space in our mind, heart, and soul offering a canvas for creativity, healing the wounded heart, and nurturing the essence of our being. Some of the biggest creative breakthroughs have been achieved by people spending time in solitude.

Importantly, in solitude, we find the answers we seek within ourselves. This reminds me of “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with” as said by Dr. Wayne Dyer - my all-time favourite motivational speaker and the author of self-help classics like ‘Your Erroneous Zones’ and ‘Pulling Your Own Strings.’ I have learnt a good deal reading them.

My Take

I love connecting with people, but I love reconnecting with myself even more. Getting back in flow with my rhythm, my true and authentic self without anyone else’s energy influencing me. I am never truly alone when I am surrounded by my own thoughts, dreams, and aspirations.

I am in solace with my solitude: it strengthens my soul. In Solitude, I discover my true self without the distraction of the world.

Purposeful solitary time can be a game changer in the way we move through life and the way life moves around us. Learning to be alone with our own thoughts can be a truly magical experience but it is not always easy to learn in this fast-paced modern world.

There was a time when I always felt that I had to fill every moment. But I am not afraid of solitude now, I cherish it. Much of my life is now centered around creating space for it. I need time to read, think and rejuvenate my spirit.

The people of the world who have truly added value to humans have all been those that have chosen to spend time alone, often in seclusion. Solitude allows us to develop creative solutions to problems as well as cultivate an understanding of our motivations and values. Also, it can provide opportunities for meaningful conversations with ourselves, and a chance to reflect on our experiences and learn from them.

It is often hard to be comfortable in one’s own skin, with one’s own thoughts, alone.It takes practice and patience to find the peace that resides in all of us. Yet, with regular periods of solitude and the pursuit of inner solace, we begin to realize that we belong in our own skin. There is nothing that brings peace into practice more that finding solace in ourselves and learning who we are on the deepest levels of our soul.

THE LAST WORD: SOULITUDE

Our life is about breaking our own limits and outgrowing ourselves to live our most fulfilling existence.

The quest is not to surpass others but to outperform our past - for we are in no competition with anyone else but our own self.

Sometimes, it is a gift to be alone in this world of interconnectedness. To be alone without being lonely. To see the beauty in solitude and its ability to recharge our soul.

The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself. So, instead of always surrounding ourselves with people, how about taking some time to find solace in solitude wherever we may be - to gift ourself the freedom to think, reflect, and grow?

Come along and join me on my path to SOULITUDE.

I bet you will love it!

Know The Author

Inderjit Singh is an Aviation Consultant with the International Civil Aviation Organization (ICAO), Montreal, Canada, a specialized agency in the United Nations (UN) system of organizations. He has served in senior level diplomatic positions in several countries of Asia, South-East Asia, Middle East, UAE, Africa, and South America. He was the CEO of IGI Airport – the 9th busiest in the world. He is an MBA, followed by advanced management courses at “Henley-the Management College,” Oxford shire, UK, and the University of California, Berkeley, USA. Inderjit has recently earned Doctorate of Philosophy in International Relations from a premier Brazilian institution of higher learning.