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Couples

From A5

Still, the couple made time for each other, Jo said, by getting a babysitter so they could go bowling or for gatherings at friends’ houses.

Building traditions: When they were younger, the Goodman twins wanted to play baseball but weren’t allowed on the boys’ team, so they helped start PYAA girls softball in Powhatan. Of all the traditions they held as a family, Jo and Obie said being involved in sports teams with their children was their favorite.

“All of them were in to sports and that was a family thing. We carried the food and had little picnics,” Jo said.

“Everything we did we made it a family thing,” Obie agreed with a nod of his head.

“To this day it is still a family thing,” she added.

Facing problems: As a couple, the Goodmans lived in New York for nine years, but they always had the plan to return to live in Powhatan. They knew if they wanted to achieve that goal, they had to work together, Jo said.

The Goodmans had their ups and downs but Obie said they used to sit and talk about it.

“I have to get her to see my side and then I see her side. It is a 5050 thing. It can’t be all self; it is 50-50,” he said. “It is not like it used to be in the olden days when the man ruled and what he said goes. I didn’t believe in that because both have to be happy to make it work.”

Showing their love: For Obie, the greatest expression of his wife’s love for him was how she took care of their children, their home and him. Generally the in-

Jaime Walter noted that being a law enforcement officer already asks a great deal of the men and women who wear the badge, so when they “go beyond the badge” to continue to help people, their side of the house was her domain, but the entire family worked to take care of their land at times, and when they could, they tried to make it fun.

Similarly, Jo said Obie was a good provider and father. Still, she appreciated when he would take her special places either just the two of them or with another couple. For Valentine’s Day or Christmas he would often give her flowers and a huge box of chocolates. “He gave me candy, which he ate most of,” she said and Obie nodded his head in agreement.

Being a good spouse: What it means to be a good spouse has changed, Obie said, which he puts in large part down to some of the hardships people don’t endure because of conveniences. Children especially too often don’t value what they have because they didn’t have to work and struggle to earn it, he said. Getting into a relationship with someone who doesn’t have that value for work and to build a future is a big part of what makes marriages fail, he added.

Jo agreed: “Even going back to when we were younger, we didn’t feel like it was a hardship. This was life. You made do with what you had and appreciated it, and I think our kids did appreciate everything we could give them.”

Being a good spouse is also about compromise, Jo said. “You have to show empathy and put yourself in the other person’s shoes.”

The future: Jo wants to travel and is especially excited about a cross-country trip to California one of their daughters is planning for them. Obie isn’t as excited.

“I don’t want to but that is where the 50-50 comes in,” he said pragmatically.

Obie said he loves Virginia and sacrifice needs to be recognized.

Col. Jeffrey Katz, Chesterfield Chief of Police, said that while he never met Mike Walter, he has heard “so many wonderful things about him.” Turning to Hankins, he told him “what you bring to this profession, what you bring to this community is reflective of everything I’ve heard about Mike.”

Powhatan in particular and is content right here. He would be happy taking his wife on their trips to casinos. “She loves the slots.”

Best advice for couples: “You have to be compassionate and understanding. You have to have patience and you have to listen,” Jo said after a brief pause.

“That is the key – listen,” Obie picked up the thought. ”If you listen then you can hear the other side. If you don’t listen, you can’t hear the other side; it is just your side. I think that is very important.”

Karen and Charles Blankenship

Married since: Oct. 8, 1965

Together since: 1959

First impressions: The couple actually went to school together from first grade on but apparently it was in third grade that Karen went home and told her mother “that Charles was so smart” because he could anticipate the words on the spelling test (hint: the teacher called them in the order they were on the spelling list).

Charles said he liked Karen from Day 1, but the pair didn’t start dating until he was 16 and able to drive and take them to movies or dances at school.

The One: When they graduated from high school, Charles went to Vietnam and ended up doing two tours. They wrote to each other while he was gone, and a year after he got back, they got married. Charles said he always hoped they would get married. Karen was nice and talented and he doesn’t know “anybody to this day who can play the piano better than she could.” He event joined their high school marching band (he played clarinet) because Karen was in it playing the bells.

“We pride ourselves in having a staff that is humble and hungry and smart, and all of those things, Harrison, you embody. I am so monumentally proud of you,” Katz said, adding that he embodies the aspects of what they want not only as a police officer but as a community leader.

Deputy Keith Culver, VALE

Parenthood vs. being a couple: About five years after they were married, the Blankenships, who didn’t think they could have children, adopted their son Todd. They did have two biological children as well but said they never saw them as any different.

“We were very family-oriented and still are,” Karen said. After the children were grown, Karen and Charles started doing more activities as a couple that they couldn’t do with children, including some travels. They especially liked going on cruises with friends.

Building traditions: Disneyworld is a favorite spot for the whole family and going there became an important tradition for them that the children later adopted with their own families. But really they appreciated the value of travel in general.

“Our summers were spent traveling up and down the East Coast, the middle of the United States,” she said. “Charles was in education and I was in education, so we had a lot of time in the summers that we could travel. It was just spending time close together and seeing new things, letting them see a different part of the country and learn more about our country. It was fun.”

Facing problems: One of the biggest trials the couple faced was losing Todd to a genetic disease when he was 17, something that came as a devastating surprise to the whole family. But whether it was huge problems or little problems, they usually dealt with them together, Karen said.

Showing their love: As a whole, the biggest way Karen said Charles showed his love for her was by being a good provider for the family and taking care of them. “I never paid a bill. He did all of

Foundation acting president and public information officer for the Henrico County Sheriff’s Office, presented Hankins with a plaque, a $200 donation to Unit 2 Back Outdoors and a few other gifts. The Virginia Law Enforcement (VALE) Foundation, is a nonprofit organized and founded in May 2020 with the purpose of that and I took care of the kids.”

He also showed his love with his consideration, she said. When Karen’s father died, they knew her mother could not take care of herself. Charles said they should turn their dining room into a bedroom for his mother-in-law.

“That was for eight years and it wasn’t always easy,” she said.

Charles simply loves that she is always there for him.

“I guess I am probably one of the luckiest men on earth. I can’t put it into words but I just hit the jackpot,” he said with a grin.

Being a good spouse: When they were a younger couple, it was the norm in society for men to go to work and consider paying the bills their only necessary contribution. Charles was not like that, his wife said.

“He would come home and help take care of the kids. For a lot of people that was the way they lived, but we never had that problem,” she said.

Charles was also an athletic director in Powhatan for a number of years. Karen would often insist he take turns taking their children to different games so they could spend time together.

The future: As far as couple goals, Karen simply said she would like to live long enough to celebrate her 75th anniversary with her husband. He nodded agreement.

Best advice for married couples: Have a great deal of patience and be slow to anger, Karen said.

Charles said he is lucky his wife is slow to anger, “because I have given her through the years a lot of reasons to be angry.”

But he tacked on: “I think luck has a lot to do with it. I have always considered myself lucky. The luckier you are the better your chances are.” remembering and honoring fallen Virginia law enforcement officers and assisting officers in times of financial need.

Hankins said his nonprofit is “not about me, it is about paying it forward.”

Laura McFarland may be reached at Lmcfarland@powhatantoday.com.

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