IT’S WHO YOU ARE BEING THAT MATTERS WINTER 2020 | GALLERIE MAGAZINE | 10
By Clare Louise THE NEED TO SUCCEED AND CREATE OUR BEST WORK PREVENTS US FROM PLAYING WITH CREATIVITY, AND, AT ITS EXTREME, CAN STOP US FROM DOING ANYTHING WITH IT AT ALL, WOUNDING OUR CREATIVE SELF. AS WE OVERTHINK WE STAND IN OUR OWN WAY, PREVENTING OUR OWN FLIGHT. I’ve been overthinking for as long as I can remember, it’s an annoying trait of mine that I’ve had to learn to love about myself so I could recognise it, manage it, and grow through it. Most times these days I catch myself doing it early on, and then there are the times when I don’t. So I’ve also had to learn what I do when I don’t, by checking in with my feelings so I can recognise my own patterns. This discovery is something I’ve placed such high value on as a creative … because creativity does not live in the thinking state - it flows from who we are being. Overthinking, I have learned, is the killer of creativity. This need to succeed and create our best work is a shadow trait of the inner creator, which often sees us over-creating in a bid to find perfectionism. Take writing this article, for example, so far I’ve participated in the dance of creative avoidance - prioritising everything else (including the dishes, the laundry, an early lunch and endless cups of teas) I’ve also encountered my saboteur who, given the time and space, will take every opportunity to tell me I’m not good enough, and trust me, she didn’t let me down this morning.
As I sat and started this article from the perspective of not being good enough, I piled up some books ready to research, preparing myself to write the article I thought you would want to read, that shows my expertise by focussing on the logic and doing actions - that for some reason, I seem to think you are expecting. One thing I know for sure is that creativity, when it flows - isn’t difficult, and here I was finding this difficult, forcing it, overthinking it, feeling the pressure of perfectionism, frustrated and uninspired to create. So I connected to those feelings, put down the fear that is often disguised as control and let go of the critical and logical mind. Then I stopped listening to my unhealthy ego, who is striving for perfectionism and chose instead to connect to the other part of me, the whisper I’ve been ignoring all morning, who is asking me to show up as I am and create authentically from this space.
