Praise and Coffee Spring 2013
Spring 2013
Women Making a Difference Save a Life, Save a Whole World Maureen Milham in Israel
The God Dare Life After Art
A Woman’s Struggle With Pornography What You Forgot About Life and Faith Since You Left the Art Room Matt Appling
w/ big mama: jackets!
Joy!
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Connect
Praise and Coffee Magazine
8| Spotlight Praise and Coffee Danbury, Connecticut
A quarterly online publication.
18| A Woman Inspired
Founder and Editor
32| Praise and Coffee Groups
Sue Cramer
36| The Neighborhood Cafe
Co-Editor
40| Cross Pollenating
Denise Dykstra Submission Guidelines:
(in)courage
1. Anyone is welcome to submit articles or testimonies.
53| Ohio & Penn Praise and Coffee
2. Submissions by women who have attended or hosted a Praise and Coffee event will be considered first
Encourage
3. Testimonies can be personal or connected to your experience at a Praise and Coffee event.
10| The God Dare Kate Battistelli
4. Articles that will be considered are to be encouraging and inspiring.
13| Underlying Anger
5. Length of submission should be 400-800 words. This can be negotiated for feature articles.
Sue Cramer
14| I’m Alli Alli Worthington
6. Submissions will be read and considered among the Editor and coEditor.
20| Life After Art
7. We do not pay for articles, they are on a volunteer basis.
50| Let’s Talk Marriage
Matt Appling Sue Cramer
8. To submit an article, go to our submissions page on our website and fill out the form and we will contact you with a couple weeks to let you know if we will accept a submission.
54| Encouragement for Today with Ronel Sidney Are Your Really Making a Difference?
56| For Caffeinated Moms Like You with Denise
9. Link to submit article: http://praiseandcoffee.com/magazinesubmissions/
Women Making a Difference
60| esPRESSo 6 Session Springboard for Praise and Coffee Groups
For advertising info, contact Sue at: Sue@PraiseAndCoffee.com
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Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Spring 2013 Volume 3 | Issue 3 Inspire 22 | Melanie Nelson Women Helping YOU Make a Difference
26| Tami Heim Joy At the Intersection of Delight and Desire
30| Maureen Milham A room with a view: of Israel.
42| Melanie Shankle Fashion CafĂŠ~ A Few Good Jackets 48| A Few of Our Favorite Things
52| Feeling Crafty Cross wall art
Scan for website
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Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Interested in starting a Praise and Coffee group? Check out our online leaders manual: Starting a Praise and Coffee www.PraiseAndCoffee.com 4
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Across the Nation and World! For where 2 or 3 gather together because they are mine, I am there among them. Matthew 18:20
Buffalo, Minnesota
Plainwell, MI (the original!)
Ephrata, PA
Reno, NV Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Henderson, NV Butler, PA
Connecticut
Prescott, AZ
San Diego, CA Anthem, AZ
Lynden, WA
New Hampshire
We want pictures of your events!! Email them to us or post them into the albums on the Praise and Coffee page on Facebook!
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Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Women Making a Difference This could be our theme every issue because women ARE making a difference. Some making a positive impact while others are not only doing damage to their own lives, some are tearing down the precious families that God placed them in. Proverbs 14:1 says: “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” We’re highlighting some wise women in this issue (and one man- thanks Matt Appling for braving the girl power issue!). You will love their encouragement, tenacity and willingness to put it all on the line for love. From the house across the lot to the streets of Israel, you will find women who have a passion to share the love of God with vibrant faith. I pray that you would burn with fresh fire to change the world and if you’ve been apathetic I hope that you will be jolted beyond complacency by more than the caffeine in your mug. It’s time to step up and step out. What has God whispered in your heart that made you gasp out loud? Write a book? Start a business? Begin a new ministry? Volunteer at the women’s shelter? Homeschool your kids? Go back to college? Travel across the world to rock babies in an orphanage? Sing a solo, or maybe give your broken marriage another shot? Whatever it is, God will surround and fill you as you do. If (when) you stumble, He’ll lift you up, just keep making forward motion and trust the desires that He put deep inside you.
Sue Cramer Founder of Praise and Coffee Sue@PraiseandCoffee.com
Never stop dancing to the song in your heart,
Connect with me online... The summer issue’s theme is “Freedom.” If you have a story of freedom or some encouragement that fits the topic, drop us a line from our submission page on the Praise and Coffee website. 6
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
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Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Praise & Coffee Night Danbury, Connecticut with Amy Obolewicz
kicked off our first Danbury, CT “Unplugged” Praise & Coffee Bible Study night in my small home on January 18, 2013. FYI: Anyone considering hosting a Praise & Coffee Night but are concerned about lack of space, it’s possible to comfortably host in a small space. We found that the intimate home environment is appealing to all who participate! I even broke out the china to make it that much more special a night!
We spoke about continuing to push for all that God has for us as women, mothers, wives, and sisters in Christ! We spoke about how, as women, we may not believe it when those we cherish tell us that they love us unconditionally, because we are already doing so much to receive their appreciation and love.
200 square feet, seven lovely ladies and God’s sweet presence made for a beautiful night of transparency, sharing, and blessing! We chatted and got to know one another a bit more over coffee, tea, and dessert, then began a bible study in Ephesians, Chapter 1. That soon evolved into a discussion about being the chosen of God.
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We spoke about letting go of the old ways of functioning and surviving that no longer serve us well anymore, and pressing on to our high callings in Christ, as our brother in Christ Paul admonishes us in Philippians 3:12-14. And in turn we spoke about immersing ourselves in the study of God’s word, especially concerning the things we are hung up on, and to push us forward in this. We spoke about continuing to push for growth into becoming the women that our loving, faithful God and Father has called us to be.
We spoke of resting in Him and His sweet promises. We spoke of walking in greater love, compassion and grace, especially with our beloveds at home.
We spoke about how, if all we ever did were to take care of ourselves well enough to remain grace-filled and kind in our interactions with all others and believe our loved ones when they say they love us, that this alone would be “enough”. We encouraged one another, prayed for one another and blessed one another for the journey in God to come. All in all it was a powerful and blessed evening, and my gratitude pours out to this Praise & Coffee Community who have gone before, and shared of the great blessing of these groups and meetings, and encouraged us all to pick up our mats and walk in a greater blessing of fellowship and love together. Our meetings will continue every third Friday of the month. I’m very much looking forward to seeing how God moves among us, in us and through us. To learn more about Amy’s group, check out our website www.praiseandcoffee.com Or email Amy: amyobolewicz@gmail.com
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Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
The
God Dare Kate Battistelli is a wife, former Broadway actress, and mom to one of Christian music’s most celebrated new recording artists— Grammy-nominated, Christian contemporary singer-songwriter Francesca Battistelli. Kate currently writes a popular blog at www.KateBattistelli.com and is thoroughly enjoying her newest role as Mimi to Francesca’s children, 2 1/2 year old Matthew Elijah and 8 month old Audrey Jane.
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By: Kate Battistelli
Have you ever felt it? The tug in your conscience of a really big thing? I mean really big. Bigger than you and virtually impossible to pull off? The still small voice that thunders through your being, grips your heart and won't let go? The voice that reminds you your life has purpose, you were created for good works and you’re called to make a difference in your world? I heard it clear as a bell a couple of years ago. My husband Mike and I had been invited to speak at a big meeting for a homeschool organization. They wanted us to speak about the steps we'd taken to raise our daughter Francesca into an adult who'd found her purpose and was living it out. Mike and I talked it over and came up with 15 intentional things we'd done as parents and later that week we spoke at the meeting.
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The morning after the meeting, there I am stretched out on the floor just thanking God for allowing us to share our 15 steps and for all the good things He'd done for our family. I was awash in gratitude and going over in my mind all the topics we'd discussed the night before. And that's when I heard it. The God Dare. "Those are book chapters." Wait, what? Book chapters? Are you SERIOUS? You want me to write a BOOK???
Over the next year I blew through every single one of my excuses by the act of doing what He dared me to do, which was to write a book. I did and Growing Great Kids came out in January 2012.
Get this, I found a publisher while I had no previous serious writing experience, no platform and no college degree. So don't give me excuses why you can't do something. If God tells you to, than anything is possible. Anything.
No way God I can't and here's why: 1. I'm not a trained writer. 2. I don't have a college degree. 3. I'm not a parenting expert. 4. I don't have time to write a book. (Okay, I knew that was a lie but I thought it anyway.) 5. Who will read it? 6. How will I ever get it published? 7. People will think it's a stupid idea. 8. People will think I'm promoting myself. 9. And on and on and on............. "Those are book chapters." The sentence exploded in my brain like a firecracker and though I went into hyper-mode trying to find an excuse not to do it, there wasn't one. I had no excuse. It's funny, all the things I'd taught my daughter about crossing self imposed boundaries, stepping out of your comfort zone, doing it afraid, being willing to be a world-changer, all of them flooded in to haunt me in that moment. So, I did the only thing I could. I said yes to The God Dare. The big fat triple-dogdare. I chose to believe He knows me better than I know myself and He knows what I'm capable of accomplishing. I learned that within each God Dare are the seeds of its success. The dare itself obliterates all questions because He already assumes you have the capacity to do it or He wouldn't have dared you! You'll only accept the dare if you believe He believes in you. And believe me sister, He does! 11
The thing is, I knew I had a choice. I could have chosen to limit myself, to ignore the still, small voice, to settle for less. I'm so glad I didn't. I'm glad I pushed through my excuses and I'm proud of the book I wrote. Think about this. Moses took The God Dare. There he is, in the back of a hot, lonely desert leading stinky sheep for 40 years. Solitary days and cold nights. Imagining he totally missed his purpose. Then all of a sudden he sees a bush on fire in the distance. He could've ignored it or thought he was imagining things but he didn't. Instead, he said, " 'I will now turn aside and see this great sight, why the bush does not burn.' So when the Lord saw that he turned aside to look, God called to him..." Exodus 3:3-4 And God dared him. 'Hey Moses, you've been leading sheep for 40 years. I've chosen you to lead human sheep for another 40, out of bondage and oppression and into a land flowing with milk and honey.' We all know how the story ends. Moses took the dare, reluctantly and with his brother Aaron's help, and changed history. So did Noah. 'Hey Noah, take a hundred years to build a boat. I know there is no water and people will think you are absolutely nuts, but trust me.' And he and his family alone escaped the flood and started a new world. 'Hey Abraham, you're a hundred years old and your wife is 90 but I'm giving you more descendants than the sand on the seashore or the stars in the sky. In you all the families of the earth will be blessed. Trust me.' And he did and we are.
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Continued...The God Dare And Ruth. 'Hey Ruth, move away from everything you know and follow your sad, bitter mother-in-law to her country where you have absolutely no prospects. Trust me.' And she ended up in the lineage of Christ. And Mary, who took the biggest, scariest God Dare of them all. Eight simple words of hers changed the world, "Be it unto me according to your word." And the rest is history... What about you. Will you take The God Dare? What's He asking you to do? Maybe He wants you to go back to school or start a business or adopt a baby or run a marathon or lose weight. Maybe He wants you to write a book :) I'd love you to think about it and commit to pray about it because I know what it takes and it's not an easy journey. But really, isn't anything worth having worth fighting for? And, you’re here for a reason. You’re here to make a difference. You’re here, my friend, to change the world. I triple-dog-dare you. Take The God Dare. This article is taken from Kateʼs ebook, The God Dare, coming summer 2013
Check out Kate’s first book: Growing Great Kids. Partner with God to cultivate His purpose in your child’s life Successful adults don’t happen by accident. It takes wisdom to raise your children with a strong sense of their destiny in God and a deep knowledge of their gifts and callings. In Growing Great Kids, Kate Battistelli shares what she and her husband, Mike, learned about parenting during the journey of raising their daughter, GRAMMY-nominated and Dove Awardwinning recording artist Francesca Battistelli.
We’re pretty dern excited about this book coming out in June… There’s nothing quite like family—for good or bad. But in a world where we sometimes know more about the Kardashians than we do the people sleeping right down the hall, it’s easy to forget that walking through life with our family offers all sorts of joy wrapped up in the seemingly mundane. There’s even a little bit of sacred sitting smack-dab in the middle of the ordinary. And since time’s-a-wastin’, we need to be careful that we don’t take our people— and their stories—for granted. Whether it’s a marathon bacon-frying session, a road trip gone hysterically wrong, or a mother-in-law who makes every trip to the grocery store an adventure, author Sophie Hudson reminds us how important it is to slow down and treasure the day-to-day encounters with the people we love the most. Written in the same witty style as Sophie’s BooMama blog, A Little Salty to Cut the Sweet is a cheerful, funny, and tender account of Sophie’s very Southern family. It’s a look into the real lives of real people—and a real, loving God right in the middle of it all. 12
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Underlying Written by: Sue Cramer
We may not think about it every day, but it’s there. Often the thought gets stuck in our brain like the song from Barney. We play it over and over as if somehow we could change the past and end it with a really great comeback as we slam the door behind us. We’re angry but we know that too much time has passed for us to righteously take up our cause. A cruel word, betrayal or rejection, they all pool inside us. Underlying anger can paralyze our ability to function as a healthy person. It often stems from feeling fearful and helpless or just frustrated about not getting our way in a situation. Underlying anger lurks in our relationships. We can pretend it's not there, but our snarky comments and defensive rebuttals reveal it’s presence.
We don't forgive others because they deserve it; we forgive out of faith, trusting that God is smarter than we are. Matt 18:21-22 21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. NIV Not sure how to forgive? There’s no formula, it’s all about your heart. If you can’t find the words, feel free to start here:
Lord, You know how much __________ has been hurting me, please help me to forgive. As I lay this offense at Your feet, I thank you that Mark 11:25 says "And when you stand praying, if you Ignoring it does not get rid of it. Our only hope for freedom is forgiveness. hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven Forgiving is not forgetting; it is letting may forgive you your sins" and I rego of the pain and releasing our hope ceive the forgiveness You promise that the past could have been differ- me. I can’t do this alone Father, help ent. It’s choosing to wipe the slate me to heal from this hurt. clean and start fresh. 13
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I’m Alli!
By Alli Worthington 14
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Hi Praise and Coffee reader. “I’m Alli.” Anytime I am invited to speak somewhere, I always start and end my talk with that simple sentence. I confess, I’ve wanted to craft some incredibly inspirational opening remark or closing comment, but oddly enough, “I’m Alli” fits me. I’m a simple girl, from simple roots, living out a pretty amazing life with my husband, five sons, 2 guinea pigs and a dog. I trust that since this magazine is called Praise and Coffee, you have a nice warm cup of coffee in your hand. I do too. So let’s pretend we’re two good friends sitting down over a cup of coffee. That’s the beauty of the Internet. Instant community. It’s always humbling to me when someone asks me to write about myself. I have two initial thoughts, “What in the world will I say?” and “What in the world would people want to know?” But I always end up doing what I do best. I tell my story; the real version of it, not some polished up Internet marketing version of it. I decided a long time ago, when my internet career 15
began, that I would be real, and honest, and transparent, knowing that living my public life that way would be the greatest way I could honor God, and also the most likely way that I would be of any help to anyone else. So how did my career on the Internet begin? Well it’s a long story; so sit back, settle in, and enjoy your coffee while I tell you. I married right out of college, and made a very intentional decision to stay at home and support my husband as he developed his career. He was in a very niche’ sector of the finance world, and he was climbing the corporate ladder quickly. But climbing the corporate ladder also meant moving our family all around the country. We packed and unpacked our household so many times in those early days; almost as quickly as we had kids! Once we started having kids, the decision to homeschool them seemed wise, given the nature of how often we moved. And as much as I loved my husband and kids and homeschooling, I was bored intellectually.
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I needed an outlet to express myself, and blogging afforded me that outlet. I loved reading the stories of other women’s lives. There is great comfort in knowing you aren’t alone in the daily struggles of life, and marriage, and parenting, and faith. Their stories gave me hope; they made me laugh; they distracted me from what was sometimes a very mundane life. And they challenged me to tell my own story. So I started my first blog, “Mrs. Fussypants.”
Then in 2007, my husband’s job ended. It just ended. It was sudden and drastic and devastating. We made the decision to stay put and not chase another job around the country because there was the potential opportunity with another company, one that would let us stay local. 16
I was pregnant with our 5th child at the time, and moving again just seemed overwhelming. But that local job never came, and we lost everything, literally. I can laughingly say now, “We lost everything before losing everything was cool,” but at the time it wasn’t so funny. My husband and I were lying in bed one night, holding hands and praying, really asking God what was next for us. Funny thing about crisis though, it surely does make you take stock in what is important in life. We had lost our world-
ly possessions, but we had four wonderful sons and another son on the way, and we had each other, and a deep abiding faith. Those things mattered and in the darkest hours were the thing that kept us going.
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I think God had been developing those things in me long before He ever set my feet on this path, but it was still amazing to watch those stored away gifts begin to unfold. I learned many lessons along the way, sitting at the feet of some pretty incredible people; lessons about failure, and authenticity, and humility.
Each of us is called to do something. It was during that time that I got very, very serious about building a business on the Internet. My husband did eventually get another job (and it was local) but I knew that God was calling me to start a business; one that brought good things to the world, connected women and empowered them with the tools they needed to be everything they could be; should be; were called to be. Mom by day, professional Googler by night. That was me. I spent the next year of my life learning and trying new things, and failing, and succeeding. I never let my fear or anxiety stop me, (and trust me, there was plenty of it!) I just plowed through any reservations I had, never asking for permission. If I didn’t know how to do something, I researched it and tried it. It’s funny that I say that, because “home Alli” is an introvert, naturally fearful, not a big risk-taker; but “internet Alli” seemed to be fearless, outgoing, not afraid to try something, not afraid to fail.
I have never looked back on the decision to become Alli Worthington, Serial Entrepreneur. I built a business and a dream connecting smart people to big ideas. And now, I want to help other women be inspired to build their dreams. In the last several months, God has opened some amazing doors for me to be able to use my influence for incredible good in this world. I confess, I still wake up many mornings amazed at all that He has done through me, and all that He still has for me to do. Each of us is called to do something. And even if the circumstances and the timing are difficult, getting to the place where we get to do what we were created to do is a very precious gift. I want to do all I can do to help other women realize their own God-given potential and to live out their calling. I’m Alli.
I help people build things that matter by connecting smart people and big ideas. My home online is http://AlliWorthington.com and I almost live on Twitter @Alli http://twitter.com/alli In 2008 I founded Blissfully Domestic Magazine as well as co-founded the wildly successful BlissDom Conference. In 2010 BlissDom expanded into Canada with BlissDom Canada and became the first International Women's Social Media conference. I am an advisor to Safe World, an NGO committed to meeting needs around the world in the areas of community health, and education. Where I WriteThe column This is Alli, that focuses on my life as a working mom of five is a featured column on the Disney site, Babble. Business- My articles on the Citibank property, Women & Co. related to personal finance, technology, productivity and career advice have been featured on the Huffington Post. I curate headlines and quality articles covering digital trends, technology, social media and productivity at Worthington Wire. 17
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so e r ’ e W glad e they’r ! back
I have this lovely memory tucked away in my heart from my early years in online ministry: a hot coffee in hand, an open Bible, my most cherished pen*, and oh, just my favorite women from around the world hanging out at A Woman Inspired. A Woman Inspired’s 2009 Get Revived conference is still an online ministry highlight of mine. How cool is it that with modern technology we can study the Bible together, get revived, encourage our friends, and do it all in cozy socks? I “left” that conference (and quite a few after it!) reignited to serve women well online and to rally around my friends who were doing the same. There’s something beautiful about a gathering that leaves you feeling inspired, challenged, and most of all, heard.
The team at A Woman Inspired is made up of Amy Bayliss, Lisa Boyd, Victoria Jenkins, Jami Balmet, and myself. During our first meeting together, Amy opened her Bible and prayed with us. She read from the book of Acts and talked about her hope for this ministry. Amy hopes that it will unite women of faith to learn God’s Word and then get out there and do the thing! We want this ministry to be a haven for women online. We’ll be offering a blog, a weekly podcast, in-depth Bible book club workshops, and regular conferences that we hope encourage, equip, and inspire you to take part in the story God is telling. We plan to spotlight awesome ministries and dig deep into the Bible together.
We want to come alongside each of you. You: For a season, A Woman Inspired went quiet. the one who writes early in the morning But during that time the Lord was up to before the kids wake up something. He was casting a new vision in the one who has a message to share the heart of my friend Amy Bayliss. Now, right from her living room don’t tell Amy I bragged about her but she’s the one who impacts her neighborhood an idea machine whose heart for God is conthrough small acts of love tagious. I’ve had the pleasure of working with the one who has a heart for healthy her for some time now and she has a gift. homes and dinner conversation Amy has a gift for teaching in humility, see the one who has a testimony of radical ing something bigger than what most can imredemption and what God can do in a agine, and then: setting out to make the viwoman’s heart sion a reality. This ministry is for you. 18
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Our tagline is more than words, it is our heartfelt prayer: A Woman Inspired by God's Word and His design for her life is unstoppable in her pursuit of His destiny for her. Lord, make us unstoppable in Your name. May we pursue You more and step into the story You are telling. I hope you’ll check us out at AWomanInspiredMinistry.org and introduce yourself on Twitter or Facebook. We look so forward to ministering alongside you. In King Jesus, Kristen Schiffman
I’ve had the awesome opportunity to share tips and encouragement for Real Moms on STAR 105.7, a secular radio station here in West Michigan.
*My most cherished pen has since gone on to be with the Lord. May she rest in peace. Check out the April podcast: An Extraordinary Kindness
We talk about everything from bullying to tips for dealing with teenagers. We’ll be exploring how Jesus lived out this fruit of the Spirit, stopping to study in Proverbs along the way, figuring out practical ways to impact the lives of those around us and, I hope, becoming women who are known for our kindness. My prep for this series was really something special. I cannot wait to share all about it with you!
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If you’re not in West Michigan you can listen online at iHeart radio. Check out my webpage for more info, links to the segments we’ve recorded and ways to connect with Tommy and Brook! www.WestMichiganStar.com
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Matt Appling is an art teacher, pastor and writer in Kansas City. His first book, Life After Art, is being released by Moody Publishers on April 1. Introduce yourself to him at MattAppling.com 20
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Life After Art Recovering Life and Faith by Going Back to Art Class
Have you ever had your life flash before your eyes?
Children came to me as artists, perfect. Instead, teaching children from ages four to twelve made me privy to a profound mystery.
I have. Not because I had jumped out of an airplane or anything like that.
I was watching child artists gradually fade and disappear, certainly never to return.
It happened when I became an elementary art teacher. I saw my life flash before my eyes as my hands and shirt sleeves were smeared and splattered with chalk and paint.
I slowly realized that I also was watching my own life flash before my eyes. I had lived every year that these children were living. Teaching each class was suddenly like a mirror turned back on myself at age five, eight, eleven. I saw myself sitting with my students, growing with them, the child artist in me disappearing under the weight of some mysterious invisible shackles. I understood that my job was not to create artists, but to try to preserve them, to try to help kids hold on to what they already possessed.
I stepped into my first art room on day one with so much excitement churning inside me. Leading children in creative pursuits really is my passion and calling. God’s providence undoubtedly led me to this room. The paper and brushes and charcoal and pastels were begging to be set loose. Famed artist Pablo Picasso once said, “All children are born artists.” It really is true. Those kindergartners stepped eagerly into the room and those tiny hands were just itching to dance all over the paper. Working with kids was not playtime for me. It was actually worshipful. But ever so slowly, I noticed something I had not expected and had not been trained for. The bigger the hands were, the more reluctant they seemed to create. The older children were not liberated like their younger counterparts. It was as if the children were wearing an invisible shackle around their wrists, adding another heavy chain each year. Their natural creativity was being sapped, seemingly by some unseen force. Year by year, the children did not grow in their confidence to create, but shrank. Picasso did not stop at saying that all children are artists. That was only half of what he observed. He continued, “The problem is to stay one as an adult.” I understood the sad reality of that statement. My job description said “Art Teacher,” but I was not creating artists. 21
Most importantly, I began to understand the spiritual dimension of what I was seeing. I saw that God has endowed each of us with his own creative spirit, but somehow that spirit deteriorated very quickly. Understanding this mystery became the heart of Life After Art. I became consumed with the mystery of how you and I stopped being like those little kindergartners in my art class. Suddenly, Jesus’ words to “become like little children” took on new meaning. Finding purpose in life no longer meant “growing up,” but finding out what these little five-year-olds have that I have long lost and forgotten. Life After Art is not really about art. It does not matter if you are an “artist” in the traditional sense or if you prefer math problems to “creativity.” Life After Art is a journey I hope you will take with me, not to discover something new, but to rediscover many things that we forgot, to expand our very definition of the word “creative,” to find out where the amazing, beautiful, unabashedly joyful little artist inside each of us lives… …even to discover the life you and I were created to live.
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Women Helping YOU Make a Difference… Melanie Nelson is a professional blogger and social media consultant who has been working with business websites since 1995 (it's true -- she remembers Mosaic and she coded websites in Notepad). As a veteran of online publishing and marketing, Melanie has grown with changes as they happen and she looks ahead to coming innovations. Melanie owns BloggingBasics101.com where she shares information about using Facebook to build your business, building loyal online communities, and improving SEO. Hubspot included Blogging Basics 101 in its list of "10 Amazing Blogs About Blogging to Start Reading NOW". Melanie's presentations and workshops have inspired attendees at conferences such as Blog World & New Media Expo, Type-A Parent, BlogHer, and Blissdom.
Your Blog's Potential: Connection, Growth, Inspiration Every day, people visit my blog because they have questions about blogging. They want to know if they should start one, and if so, how do they do that? My visitors want to know what a permalink is or whether it’s OK to use certain images on their blog or how to get started with search engine optimization. But mostly they just want to know if starting a blog is a good idea. My answer is unequivocally: YES. At the very least, blogging is an affordable experiment. If it turns out you don't love it, you're not out much except some time. At the very most, blogging can provide an opportunity to connect with others and possibly influence them in positive ways -- similar to what Praise and Coffee strives to do, but in a smaller online setting.
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The Praise and Coffee mission is
Connecting Women Encouraging Growth Inspiring Change
While I know Praise and Coffee's goal is to achieve those things in a real-life environment, there is another way to achieve them and reach beyond your immediate circle: create a blog. The online relationships you cultivate through a blog are as meaningful as those you foster offline. Blogging can provide a way to connect, grow, and inspire -- for you and for those you touch with your words.
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Embrace Your Options-Inspiring Change
Find Your Place -Connecting Women When new bloggers start they sometimes don't know exactly what they want to say. They want to say something, but they aren't sure what it is or who will listen. If I may be so bold, here is Blogging Rule Number One: Don't feel like you have to write about a certain topic just because your friends are writing about it or you've read that the most popular blogs are about [fill in the blank]. Write about what you know. Write about what moves you. The quickest way to bloggy burnout is writing about something that has little meaning to you. I'm a technical writer. I literally went to college to learn how to write instructions for a living. Technical writing isn't for everyone, but it's right up my alley because I'm not great at creating stories around topics. What I can do is write a mean tutorial, so I started Blogging Basics 101 in 2007. I tell you that because I want to illustrate that anyone can find a blogging niche. The Internet is a big space, and there's a place for everyone if they want it.
Be Willing to Evolve -Encouraging Growth As you start your blog, it's important to look ahead. Understand that you may end up changing your niche down the road, and that it's OK to do that. As you blog, you'll grow simply because you are learning something new, meeting new people in the space, and exploring new ideas. To me, learning and experience are the most exceptional growth -- blogging is a way to achieve both. When I started blogging regularly, many of my blogging friends were blogging about their kids. It made for some entertaining reading because we were a very close group and, though we may not have met in person, we came to know each other very well through our blogs. Then something happened: the kids grew up. Many women found they needed to change their topic -- some because their kids were more vocal about not wanting to be on the blog, others because they resumed or found other interests as their children grew and went to school. We're human. Our interests change. We grow. What makes that growth special when you have a blog is that you have an extended community that is rooting for you. They want to grow right along with you and cheer you on.
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As a part of the Praise and Coffee community, you know how important it is to cultivate a group of trusted and supportive friends. It's not always easy to do, but it's always worth it to work hard at it. That blogging community I mentioned that will cheer you on in your growth? It's the same community that will inspire your change and you will inspire theirs. Your stories, your thoughts, your considerations are all integral to inspiring that change in yourself and your readers. My friend Jennifer Leutweiler is a terrific example of a blogger who inspires change. She began blogging because she started running and her friends and family wanted to know how she was doing. She hadn't been a runner before, and she didn't consider herself particularly athletic. Her journey wasn't always easy, but she shared the beautiful euphoria and the ugly disappointments. And she shared how the running helped her realize how much she carried on her shoulders that didn't belong to her: the voices in her head that told her she was this or that. She started writing not just about the running, but she started calling out fears and discussing them boldly. Jennifer writes the hard posts. She writes about the subjects we may not want to admit to ourselves and she makes us think. She's always completely open about her journeys of change and growth -- and there are many. She continually challenges herself and her community to examine other points of view, acknowledge uncomfortable emotions so they can be healed, and share their own stories. Jennifer provides a safe community where readers can incorporate selfawareness and what they learn from others into their own journey of change. I introduce you to Jennifer because sometimes it just takes one person to share that raw emotion so the rest of us can be more at ease with our own similar emotions. Don't be afraid to inspire change with your own blog. Blogging can be a powerful tool for self-fulfillment. It allows you to share yourself with others to any extent you're comfortable with. When you do, you have the power to connect, grow, and inspire yourself and others. Melanie Nelson recently authored Facebook All-In-One For Dummies and is the founder of Summit Integrated Media, an online training site for businesses and bloggers. She also founded Blogging Basics 101 which has been featured on Mashable and Hubspot.
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Modern. Trendy. Beautiful. Contemporary handcrafted sterling silver jewelry for today's modern woman! I use recycled silver, copper, gold and gemstones to create wearable pieces of art jewelry.
Featured in Grand Rapids Women’s LifeStyle
www.StudioJewel.com 24
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Connect with Praise and Coffee online!
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At The Intersection Of Delight And Desire By Tami Heim Tam Heim is married to Dale and they belong to Long Hollow Baptist Church. Actively involved in mission work, they travel often to serve orphans in Jeremie, Haiti. Her executive leadership experience spans three decades, from Fortune 500 companies to nonprofit ministry. She is currently the president and CEO of Christian Leadership Alliance, a nonprofit created to equip and unite the leaders in over 4,500 nonprofit ministries with the shared goal of transforming the world for Christ.
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Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
While serving on the board of EQUIP, we had a
With God in control, life bends, takes peculiar
leader from YWAM (Youth With A Mission) present
turns, and then leads you to the places He ordains. Some-
their strategy for evangelizing the world. Before develop-
times they are predictable and other times completed un-
ing the plan, they did exhaustive research and discovered
expected. A baby never came and after several years the
there are four key questions every person longs to have
dream of having one was surrendered. It’s a choice to
answered.
trust God and believe He knows best.
Who am I?
Life keeps rolling and it roars with the stuff that refines and perfects. Seasons come and go and as I get
Why am I here?
older, I find the transitions between each season are the
What is going on in this world?
sweetest. Old things pass away and new ones give birth.
How do I make a difference in it?
No matter what happens, I hold the words of James close. I am quite clear on the difference it makes when I do in-
Since that time, I think about those questions often and discuss them in my quiet conversations with the One who knows well the answer to each of them. In the past two years,
deed, “Count it all Joy!” When I deliberately make that choice to accept where He has me and follow His lead,
On that trip, a radical crazy-kind-of-love consumed us. We fell deep into a sea of pure and faultless religion.
God splashes back love in waves of ‘joy unspeakable.’ In June 2010, Dale and I took
I've been more in awe than ever at how God masterful
our first mission trip to Haiti.
reveals the answers. In His response to me, I’ve found
We went with a team of eight and we were the first ones
life-changing joy at the holy intersection where His de-
to ministry to 70 orphans who were rescued from one of
sires and mine collide.
the most desperate slums in Port Au Prince. Like so many before us, we thought we were going to minister to
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give the desires of your heart. – Psalm 37:4
them, but the love they poured on us was overwhelmingly greater.
My husband Dale and I thought early in our mar-
On that trip, a radical crazy-kind-of-love con-
ried life we would have two children. Christ occupied
sumed us. We fell deep into a sea of pure and faultless
center stage from the beginning of our life together and
religion. To this very day – its current carries us back to
while this was our plan – we were always open to what
Haiti. So compelled by love, we can’t help but go and go
God might have in store for us.
often.
In 1988, we built a new home and while it was
Before the December 2011 mission trip we were
under construction, we visited the work-site often. It was
called to lead, our mission coordinator asked to meet
fun to take our tiny daughter, Zoe, through the framed
with me. I thought it was to review the trip plans. But
shell. We’d point out her room and then show her the
God used that meeting to completely upend the life Dale
baby’s room.
and I were living.
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Stunned, I left her office with the real possibility of adopting a five year-old little girl named Sania. A precious little girl, one of the first 70 who changed our life, was simply waiting for the right couple to claim her. I had no idea what my husband would say, but God was already preparing his heart for this astounding possibility. It’s extraordinary to comprehend the desires God will resurrect and restore from deep inside a willing heart. Even the ones so deep, you don’t have the courage to hear the sound of your voice utter them. That day, in that one moment, He gave new life to the dream we surrendered to Him 25 years ago. Like many who are called to adopt internationally, it has been a painful, expensive, and emotional process. Clearly one of those crisis-of-belief experiences Henry Blackaby so elegantly describes. We fully understand what we agreed to do and how we proceed reflects exactly what we believe God is capable of doing. The world daily waits to give us a 1000 reasons why this was a ‘bad idea’ for a couple our age. If we entertained even one of them, we know it would derail us from God’s plan and purpose. We’d miss our part in His plan for this
Sania
world. December 2012 was filled with enormous breakthroughs in the adoption process. When God moves mountains all you can do is stand in awe and watch. Our court appearance came that month and then we moved Sania to a transition home. The gap in time between her life there and her new home here significantly closed. God’s love is extraordinary and no matter how hard it is, we feel His delight in showing up and showing off the possible when the entire world only sees impossible. Every day that passes, we know she is one day closer to home. You see, Dale and I always thought we would to have two children.
Apparently God did, too. 28
Dale, Sania and Tami Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Some of our fave FUNNY Pinterest picks. Click here to follow and find these!
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Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Room With
View
Jerusalem 2012
Maureen Milham is the founder of Shine International. Shine International currently has projects located in Tel Aviv, Israel working with Refugees and Foreign Workers coming from all areas of the Middle East, Africa, and Asia. We are dedicated to assist them during this transitional time of life. Email: info@shineinternational.info Shine International’s website: http://www.shineinternational.info/ Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShineInternational Follow Maureen’s personal blog here: http://israelibliss.wordpress.com/
By Maureen Milham info@shineinternational.info 30
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
here is a famous saying, “Save a life, save a whole world.” It has been used in countless movies and TV shows, and even to accurately describe the life of Oscar Schindler. It actually originates from the Jewish Talmud. “Whoever preserves a single soul, it is considered as if he had preserved an entire world,” reflecting on the passage from the very beginning of Genesis 1:24-26, when Adam was a single soul living on the earth. Something I learned from the very beginning of my journey on the field is that sometimes in ministry we can get caught up in the numbers game. Supporters want to know how many you reached. Preachers report on how many were saved. Big tent revivals sent out newsletters on how many made decisions… the bigger the number the more impressive the ministry became. Results lead to funding. Funding leads to bigger outreaches. Bigger outreaches lead to higher numbers…. But who IS that actual number? What does she do? Where does he live? Do they have a family? What is the child’s needs?
“Save a life, save a whole world” It is a concept I struggle with daily, yet at the same time I’m trying to devote myself to it. Trying not to worry about the numbers game, yet infusing my time and life to those God has placed into mine. Learning that Shachar’s favorite basketball player is Kobe Bryant, and when we play she always wants to be him. Listening to Olivia’s never-ending stories filled with crazy characters and amazing imagination. Getting excited for Reuben when he gets his first A on his test…. “Save a life, save a whole world” Making a difference doesn’t mean we need to have the largest ministry or the biggest book sales. Making a difference doesn’t mean we must make headlines or create a buzz wherever we go. Making a difference isn’t always the noise makers, but the quiet doers. Making a difference means that in the end we have saved a whole world… maybe a shy, little 8 year-old world from Eritrea, who lives in the chaos and turmoil of a country that wants her out; but who is just as important in God’s eyes… and should be just as important in our eyes as well.
Questions that seem to sometimes get lost in the numbers game. It wasn’t until I moved to Israel that I started to really understand the meaning of this Jewish proverb. It’s much easier to work with the masses, to report big numbers, and to have your supporters impressed by grandiose stories from the field. It’s much more difficult to dive deep in and invest your life into the lives of others. To answer those questions that seem to get lost. To find out what she does. Where he lives. What are the families needs. To devote your life to theirs. 31
Save a life, save a whole world….
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
To learn more, read our eBook on our website! 32
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Step 1: pick the ‘flavor’ of your group.
They are listed on our website in the eBook!
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It’s the heart of Praise and Coffee...in your neighborhood!
By Amy Lively
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M
y love of cherries began early, as
you can see in the dress my mother made for my 3rd Grade picture—the same year I met my husband. We’re raising our daughter in the same town where we both grew up—in fact, all four of our parents live within two miles! My favorite television show when I was a child was Little House on the Prairie. When Laura Ingalls bowed her braided pigtails and asked God to forgive her sins, I prayed along with her. After my TV-inspired confession, my mother, father and I were baptized together—a triple dunk! Although my parents did almost everything right, I still chose to do everything wrong. From the time I was fifteen until I was 35, I walked away from God. I didn’t lose my beliefs but I lost my faith. I still believed the Bible stories I’d been taught, I still believed God loved me—I just didn’t want anything to do with church or prayer or the actual live-like-you-believe-it stuff. My wedding was one of the last times I went to church except for occasional holidays with my parents. When they prayed at the start of the service, I prayed it would end. While they worshipped, I wondered what’s for dinner. As they sang all 19 verses of “Just As I Am,” I would harden my heart and say, “Just as I am is perfectly fine, thank you very much!”
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So I avoided church, and I wasn’t teaching our daughter my beliefs. We had enrolled Emma at a Christian school for the “superior academic curriculum.” I knew many of the parents and staff from my church-going days, and they thought they knew me. I could sling their Christian-ese lingo and stop cussing and smoking long enough to get through a parent-teacher meeting. When I told them we didn’t go to church, not one single person invited me to go church with them. Instead, they invited me for coffee. We worked together on committees and school carnivals. Our children played at each other’s homes. I saw firsthand how these women relied on God to make them good parents even when their kids behaved badly. I watched how they responded when they didn’t agree with each other. I overheard their heartfelt prayers and realized their beliefs went beyond simple Bible stories. What they had was real, and it made a difference in the way they lived. They had hope and joy even as they took children to chemotherapy and buried beloved parents. They were content planning fundraisers instead of exotic vacations. They were lovely, and they loved me. As we became friends very naturally, I began to soften spiritually. One day I realized I didn’t want to live a lie any more. I wondered if God would be angry, irritated or
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
annoyed with me. But as I tilted my head ever so slightly towards the Lord’s whisper, I swear I heard Him say, “Oh, Amy—I love you! I’ve been waiting for you, and I’m so happy you're back.” “A single day in your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else!” Psalm 84:10 I avoided God for 20 years—or 7,300 days, if anyone’s counting. Please take it from this former pagan turned passionate follower, I wouldn’t trade one of those days for a single day with God by my side, whispering His love and guidance in my ear. As my relationship with God was renewed, I began reading my Bible and praying. I became involved in a local church and went to Bible studies and conferences, where I first heard the words “neighborhood Bible study.” I knew I should love my neighbors, but I didn’t know how. I felt guilty about Christ’s command to love our neighbors, but I didn’t even know most of the people living around me. I began debating with God. “I don’t have time to go make new friends. I’m not sure I even
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know what adult friendships are supposed to look like. Can’t I just put a fish bumper sticker on my minivan? Am I really supposed to just go up to my neighbors and start talking about Jesus? They’ll think I’m a freak. I’m afraid. I’m intimidated. And it’s more than a little bit awkward. I’d rather go to Africa than go across the street.” After months of disobedience, I finally printed out some invitations, tied them to a bag of coffee and delivered them to my neighbors’ doors. I invited them to an Open House—not a Bible study, just an invitation for coffee at my kitchen table. On the day of my first Open House, my neighbors knocked on my door, most of them as nervous as I was. I learned their names and their pains, we laughed and talked and they walked out my door as friends. Hosting an Open House maximized my time by offering simple hospitality—not extravagant entertaining—to many neighbors at once.
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Neighborhood Café kits available to help you get started in your neighborhood! www.neighborhoodcafe.net
As we continued meeting for Bible Study and I hosted more Open Houses, the Neighborhood Café was born from my experience knocking on my neighbors’ doors hundreds of times. The Neighborhood Café provides tools and techniques so that you can love your neighbors in a whole new way. Whether you live in a downtown condo or a country ranch, on a tree-lined lane or a gang-infested street –I know this fact about your neighborhood: Behind every door is a woman starving for personal attention and meaningful relationships.
You can offer that to her in the comfort of your home. Why don’t you invite one neighbor over for a cup of coffee at your kitchen table? Clear a few minutes in your calendar to start a conversation with the women God has carefully placed around your home: ask them where they got those beautiful roses, who did their roof, who babysits their kids. With a little bit of thought, you can discover comfortable, natural ways to get to know your neighbors!
Amy Lively had lived in her neighborhood for several years, yet most of her neighbors were complete strangers. With knees knocking, she knocked on her neighbors' doors and invited them into her home. Through her ministry, speaking and writing, Amy equips women to love their neighbors in a whole new way by opening their hearts and homes. Visit www.theneighborhoodcafe.net to learn more.
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Praise and Coffee believes in….
Cross Pollenating Highlighting other Women’s Ministries, because we’re all in this together!
This issue:
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Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Have you ever wished for a space where you could be real, where you could laugh and cry and talk about the hard things and the sweet things? Have you longed for a place to take off your mask, put up your feet and open your heart? (in)courage is that place. Almost five years ago, God began building this place in the hearts of three women: Stephanie, Lainie and Holley. Stephanie was a marketing maven in the publishing business looking for new ways to bring meaningful experiences to women. Not the kind you ordinarily find in Christian clichés but those that transform you from the inside out.
Stephanie
Derived from the social media acronym “IRL” or “in real life,” (in)RL is an invitation to share what we’ve learned about community and encourage women with stories and suggestions for connecting deeper in real life. Last year nearly 2,000 women from 24 countries participated. Think of it as a girls' getaway that doesn’t require packing or plane tickets, where women can kick off any expectation of perfect, set aside their fears, their shyness, their worry that they’re not good enough, and find some of Jesus’ words of rest woven into every video shared. This year's (in)RL webcast kicks off on Friday, April 26 and (in)RL meetups follow on Saturday, April 27.
Lainie was a woman passionate about products and bringing beauty into everyday life. She still sees faith woven into everything — the beautiful golden thread that ties it all together.
Lainie
And Holley was a writer committed to bring hope and encouragement to the hearts of women through words. Facing personal storms and being a counselor gave her an even deeper desire to do so. Holley God connected these three women at DaySpring, the Christian subsidiary of Hallmark. Over coffee, lunches, and conversations in the hall they realized they carried the same dream inside. And this vision was to create a new home for the hearts of women. When they asked themselves what kind of place they were building, Stephanie, Lainie and Holley finally came to see it as a beach house. It’s that place where you can put your sandy, dirty feet on the coffee table, laugh late into the night with girlfriends, and hear God’s voice through shared, broken, beautifully redeemed everyday stories. It’s the place where you’re always welcome, just the way you are. Over time, a team of more than 20 amazing women joined the (in)courage team as writers. And Lisa-Jo, an incredible writer with an encouraging heart and fondness for food analogies and Twitter, answered God's call to spend more time in this beach house as the Community Manager of (in)courage.
Women around the world will tune in for an hour on Friday for the community keynotes, and connect via Twitter using the hashtag #inRL with everyone else who’s also watching. Then on Saturday they'll meet up with old friends and new to spend a few hours in real-life community. All day long, in every time zone and every kind of space homes, coffee shops, restaurants, or churches - women will gather together to connect in real life. (in)courage will provide video content to each meet up host that participants can watch together, exploring the challenge to stay connected to our beautiful, messy, real-life communities. Registration is free, and everyone who registers will receive a free copy of the eBook, “Best of the Beach House 2012: A Collection of Your Favorite Posts from the Writers of (in)courage.” (in)courage has certainly met its goal of building a beach house for women, and it is a place full of inspiration and encouragement. But a comment box can only go so far. (in)RL is an opportunity for women everywhere to step through the blog posts and into each others' real lives - on April 26-27 and beyond. More information about (in)RL can be found at www.inrl.us.
Since launching in August 2009, (in)courage has grown from a simple website to a home for thousands of women that features daily encouragement and inspiration from regular contributors, guest posts from the community, a book club, special product offers and a worldwide virtual conference called (in)RL. (in)RL was born out of two years spent listening to women in the comments here at (in)courage craving local, real-life community.
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f
ashion cafĂŠ with
big mama
A Few Good Jackets! I have always been a fan of the jacket. It's true. There was a time my closet was filled with various jackets in different weights and colors and lengths because I was physically unable to pass by a cute jacket in a store. I had a fever. A fever for more jackets. Then I realized most of them never got worn very often. Mainly because I live in South Texas and the weather here tends to fluctuate between hot and hotter. And you can't even enjoy a fun rain jacket because we've been in a drought for three years and it hardly ever rains. But enough about my first world problems. Now I just tend to enjoy jackets from afar and feel a little envious of those of you that live in a climate that allows for the occasional coat or jacket all year round. Which makes me think of my grandmother who used to always ask, "Don't you want a light jacket just in case? It's a little chilly out." even when it was July and slightly warmer than the surface of the sun. Anyway, here are a few jackets that are perfect for spring. Please buy one so I can live vicariously through you. 42
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
1. piped cotton eyelet trench
I love the eyelet on this. It's so pretty and feminine.
2. long canvas field jacket
This is a great multipurpose jacket. The military look is so in right now, plus it can be dressed up a little with a cute striped tee underneath and a scarf or you can just throw it on over a t-shirt on your way to watch an early morning soccer game.
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3. polka dot pleat hem trench coat
Dear pleat hem, you had me at hello.
Spring 4. classic black trench
There is a great photo I've seen around of Jennifer Aniston wearing a black trench with a white button down and jeans with boots. It's like the perfect outfit ever. And it solidified my opinion that a black trench is a great thing to have in your closet. You throw it on and immediately look polished.
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5. boyfriend blazer
The same goes for a great black blazer. All you need is a t-shirt and jeans and you have a great outfit.
has
Sprung 6. copen denim jacket
If I ever decide to write love poetry or even haiku, there's a good chance it will all be about my feelings for a good denim jacket. It will also mean I have undergone a personality transplant. But, still, a denim jacket is so versatile and timeless.
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7. nylon popover
Honestly, it's hard for me to remember what rain looks like, but rumor has it that it's wet. And this is a great jacket to throw on for a rainy day.
8. rainy day mac
But this? This is my heart. I have wanted a Rainy Day Mac from Boden for almost as long as I can remember. Every season they come out with new colors and patterns and I swoon. Then I remember that I live on the edge of a desert and it never rains here. I nearly typed that I live on the edge of a dessert, which, frankly, would be a lot more fun. 46
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9. sunburst topper
I may go to Ann Taylor and buy this today. Bright yellow sunshine color? Check. Adorable sleeve detail? Check. Would I like this in my closet? CHECK.
10. 3/4 sleeve tweed jacket
The tweed jacket is a huge thing right now. And brings a little ladies who lunch thing to just a normal pair of jeans. I'm a big fan.
So that's it. The spring jacket. Go get yourself one today. Or tomorrow. Or whenever. I'm not trying to be bossy.
Melanie Shankle is the author of TheBigMamaBlog.com. She is also a regular contributor to ThePioneerWoman.com, and she serves as the emcee for LifeWay’s annual DotMom conference. She lives in San Antonio with her husband, Perry, and their daughter, Caroline. She just published her first (we hope of many) books, “Sparkly Green Earrings.” You will love, love, love this book, it is funny and smart and feels a little like the Christian version of Bossy Pants by Tina Fey! ~Sue Cramer 47
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These are a few of our favorite things‌.
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the h c t Wa ram g o r ep entir online! free
Discover how you can find peace, even in the most tragic times of life. In the DVD presentation, “He Loves Me”, Bible teacher Cindy Bultema shares her personal testimony of God’s power that healed and restored her from a life consumed by addiction, low-self esteem, and loss. Gain a better understanding of God’s love and faithfulness from her experiences. Find hope and encouragement to help you on your own journey to peace. The complete program will be available to view at (Day of Discovery) dod.org.
Runtime: Approximately 26 minutes 49
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Let’s Talk
MARRIAGE With Sue Cramer
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Making a
Great Marriage BETTER! Random Tips & Suggestions
Laugh together, watch a comedy or reminisce about something hysterical that happened to you as a couple. Put it in writing: write a note to tell your spouse how much they mean to you. Be specific about something they’ve done that made you proud to be married to them. Try something new on date night: make it a date breakfast or lunch. Do something you’ve never done before. Go for a hike or go to a concert, ball game or even hunting together. If you are allergic to adventure, at least find a different restaurant this time! Admit when you’re wrong. Own it baby! Vulnerability is the new sexy. 51
Lock the bedroom door: enough said.
Pick up some new unmentionables to try out behind that locked door!
Be honest: this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, he deserves the truth.
Cheer! You’re a team, so cheer one another on. Encourage the daylights out of him!
Don’t compare your husband or marriage to anyone else.
Never ridicule or embarrass him in front of others, it builds resentment.
Enjoy your marriage. Pay attention and enjoy your marriage, life is too short to be so busy that we miss the joy of marriage.
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Feeling
Crafty?
Grade-school friends Katie Wettlaufer and Korene VandenBerg compiled their talents and craft knowledge to create the craft blog ‘Craftredo’ www.craftredo.com. We aren’t experts – just two moms stumbling upon craft ideas, giving them our own twist and having fun along the way. Hopefully you’ll find a project or two that you can use. Since most of our projects focus on recycling or repurposing, you can join our mission . . . “Saving our planet (and our sanity) one craft project at a time.”
Visit their blog to turn this……………………..into this!
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Praise and Coffee Groups in Ohio and Pennsylvania Sue Cramer and Ronel Sidney will be traveling to these groups in May, if you are in the area, come out to meet them! More info on the website: praiseandcoffee.com Butler, PA on May 23rd and Youngstown, OH on May 24th!
Youngstown, OH with Julie Arduini To the outsider, our Praise and Coffee meeting might look like a coffee clutch. A gossip epicenter. In Jesus' name I refute that. After honoring Christ's sacrifice I feel like everything I should do should narrow to one word--love. Praise and Coffee is love. It is loving the lonely, the forgotten. The tired and underappreciated. The woman with a job or title, and the one without. The one who has a church home, and the one who does not. The married, single, divorced, widowed. As we enter a natural season known for new beginnings, let's be intentional with love. Let it be as strong of a fragrance as the aroma of fresh coffee. Let our talk, especially outside the walls of Praise and Coffee, reflect Christ's love.
Butler, PA with Amy Riordan Each person in the circle had a turn to share how God has used them to be a blessing to others. They then passed the string to another person forming a web as we went. The web was used to symbolize how the Body of Christ is all interconnected. 1 Corinthians 12:26 says "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." When everyone in the body does their part the Body of Christ is alive and active and strong. Do your part! ~Amy
You have the power, because of Christ, to change the atmosphere in Greater Youngstown. In your home. Work. School. Marriage. Church. Marketplace. ~Julie
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Encouragement for Today with
Ronel Sidney
Are You Really Making a Difference?
As the sun sets on another day I can not help but wonder if I will ever get it right; if I will ever be the woman God created me to be‌ Facing those defeating thoughts at the end of a long and tedious day are overwhelming and sometimes impossible to squash. Despite waking with the best intentions I some how end up failing. I am not a good wife. I am not a good mother. I am not a good employee. I am not a good daughter. 54
Are my expectations too high or am I allowing others expectations to guide my life? I want so bad to be a woman of purpose, significance and a woman making a difference in the lives of her family, coworkers and community. With all these big dreams I am beginning to wonder if I have made things more complicated then they really need to be right now. Have I made life harder? Have I lost the simplicity of what Jesus really desires for my life?
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
After leading this past year in a curriculum based discipleship program I have found myself tired, weary, frustrated and exhausted. I have been working so hard for something that does not come from work. I have been beating myself up about not having a heart connection with the ladies I was helping to disciple. I have begun to wonder if we are trying to manufacture and mass produce discipleship in a way that is leaving us drained and disconnected. We can not manufacture faith or relationship. We can not work for our salvation. We are driving ourselves into the ground with all the busyness of life. What if we would just slowed down and embraced life? The word intentionality comes to mind. Being intentional and engaging life and relationships is far more important than just joining another ministry, group or school. I need to be purposeful and engaging in all aspects of my life. And, before I jump to say ‘yes,’ I need to sit and allow Him to guide my path.
[When We Practice Real Love] My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating selfcriticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves. 1 John 3:18 MSG Woman who are making a difference are daring to go places and do things that are hard. This can mean volunteering, politics or ministry but it could also mean putting her family first and putting her career on hold to stay home and teach her children. Making a difference means stepping outside your comfort zone to do something different and exciting. Making a difference means doing the hard work necessary to make healthy changes; healthy eating, exercise or going to counseling to heal from your past.
Embracing my faults and shortcoming is helping me to make a difference in my marriage, parenting, leading and life. Woman who are making a difference are not just on television or a part of a worldwide ministry. Woman making a difference are me, you, your neighbor and your girlfriends. Making a difference does not mean that you are doing something grand or exciting, it could mean just waking up everyday choosing to be different or becoming whole. We are making a difference in our families, homes and communities by making ourselves available to spend time listening and caring about each other’s lives. We will not be perfect or make all the right choices, but each and every day we will wake to a new set of mercies and opportunities to be different and make a difference in all of the lives we touch throughout our day. Sometimes this means high doses of grace and forgiveness for ourselves as we learn to pick up our cross, denying ourselves daily, and learning to love everyone right where they are today. Embracing my faults and shortcoming is helping me to make a difference in my marriage, parenting, leading and life.
Ronel Sidney is the National Director for Praise and Coffee. She lives in California with her husband and son. She’s a working mom who’s also in the process of getting her Master’s degree in Leadership; Women in Leadership Development. Check out her blog: www.ChosenForMore.com Contact her: Ronel@PraiseAndCoffee.com 55
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“Women Making A Difference”
Denise Dykstra, co-editor of Praise and Coffee the Magazine. Denise is heavily caffeinated and joyfully married to her truck driving, farming husband. They reside in Michigan raising their four boys (ages 12 to 6) on a hobby farm that keeps them hopping busy. She updates friends on her sons’ latest escapades and caught snakes on her blog “Life With Four Boys...Coffee Please!” Denise@PraiseandCoffee.com I don’t know what a midlife crisis it. I have to admit I kind of scoffed the idea. Until it sorta got thrown in my face. It was that moment where you realize you are too old to be young. And you look at your life thus far, which has been a blur , and say, “Now just wait here a minute, this is not going just the way I had planned.” I thought I may be well on my way to “making a difference in the world”. When I was young I had imagined being a journalist who introduced the world to unforgettable people and stories. It’s hard to imagine this as I scrub yet another pot that refuses to come clean and hear the calls of boys being out of socks and underwear…again. 56
Yes, yes, I know I am making a huge difference in the world raising our four boys. I wouldn’t trade it for the world; but what about when they grow up and they don’t need me anymore? And then there was my computer screen, blinking smugly at me. The theme for this issue is “Women Making a Difference.” The timing couldn’t have been worse, or better. I put it off for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, this magazine issue holds some AMAZING stories that thrill me and give me goose bumps and I am so proud of them. But I wondered, “Where do I fit in?” And then it hit me. I didn’t see the forest for the trees.
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
A friend brought me coffee, out of the blue, right to my door.
If God hasn’t given up on me yet, I probably shouldn’t either.
I received a note from a friend on a day that had gone rather horribly and it brightened my day.
If God tells me not to be timid, then I guess I shouldn’t say “Oh, woe as me, I’ve gotten too old to make a difference in the world”.
One of my boys had a particular tough situation at school and I took him out for a wake to talk about it and let him know he was loved.
God also says “Get going.”
We had a family night in which we all just cuddled together and watched TV and ate ice cream. “This is the greatest night in a long time,” they said. Someone emailed me, someone I don’t know at all, to let me know that my blog posts encouraged them and made them laugh regularly.
It’s about all little things. The things we do every day and shrug and say “Ah, that’s nothing.” All that nothing adds up to something pretty great. I may not ever be a world renowned author, but I am learning more and more to look to God and be more open to what He would like me to do. Those are the little things that make me a woman who makes a difference. I have written Joshua 1:1-9 and taped it up on my wall by my computer. “Get going. I’ll be with you. I won’t give up on you; I won’t leave you. Strength! Courage! Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get where you’re going. Ponder and meditate on (the Bible) day and night. Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.”
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If you don’t like what your life is looking like, then get going. A great place to start is right in God’s word. It keeps you on track. And it’s midlife people. Let’s not waste time off track. I don’t want to be so mournful of not making a difference that I miss making a difference in my boy’s lives. I don’t want to say, “Sheesh husband, we’ve been married this long and what have we got to show for it other than a lot of exhaustion?” No, I want to look forward to the future and not miss the present. Little things. Little things like actually having that silly picnic in the middle of the yard with my boys when they ask because they will stop asking. Putting my book down and actually cuddling next to my husband at night. Saying yes when I can, to my boys, but knowing when to look at them and say “enough is enough” so they don’t miss their childhood. I don’t know what God’s plan is for me. I did not see this life coming at me. And, honestly, it’s better than anything I could have planned, so I think I’ll just let Him keep it up. Keep on showing me how to make a big difference in the little world around me.
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
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Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
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Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Six Session Springboard for Praise and Coffee Groups Consider it a springboard because we don’t want you to feel so attached to a curriculum that you miss the conversations that will happen organically.
Bunny trails encouraged! You can download these on our website. www.PraiseAndCoffee.com Written by: Ronel Sidney~ Praise and Coffee National Director 60
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Theme: Joy Session One: Joy in Freedom
Session Two: Joy in Jesus
Get things brewing: If you could do anything what would you do on a Sunday afternoon?
Get things brewing: What does play look like in your life?
Steep in God’s word: John 10:6-10 The Message, “Jesus told this simple story, but they had no idea what he was talking about. So he tried again. “I’ll be explicit, then. I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good—sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn’t listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for— will freely go in and out, and find pasture. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.” Press it out: - Can you think of a time when you felt the thief trying to steal your joy?
Steep in God’s word: Psalm 5:11 NIV, “But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.” Press it out: - Describe a time when you choose to rejoice instead of worrying about a circumstance or situation you or your family were facing. - Is joy a choice or does it comes naturally? - How do we maintain a glad (pleased or delighted) heart despite negative thoughts swirling in our head?
- Describe what freedom in Christ looks like in your daily walk? - What are some way to quick the crazy thoughts in our mind as we go through our day? 61
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Theme: Joy Session Four: Joy in Salvation Get things brewing: What is your favorite drink when you are thirsty? Steep in God’s word: Isaiah 12:3-4 The Message, “Joyfully you’ll pull up buckets of water from the wells of salvation. And as you do it, you’ll say, “Give thanks to God. Call out his name. Ask him anything! Shout to the nations, tell them what he’s done, spread the news of his great reputation!”
Session Three: Joy in Dancing Get things brewing: What song, past or present, makes you want to get up and dance? Steep in God’s word: Psalm 30:11, “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.”
Press it out: - Share your salvation story; describe when you gave Jesus your heart. - What quenches your thirst when you feel drained or warn out from a long and trying day? - Describe the last time you thanked God for something out loud.
Press it out: -Describe a time when you were having so much fun that you did not care who was watching what you were doing? -When was the last time you got lost in the joys of life? Describe it. - What keeps you from letting go and enjoying life?
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Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013
Session Five: Joy in Trust Get things brewing: What is your favorite part of spring? Steep in God’s word: Romans 12:16, “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” Press it out:
Theme: Joy
Describe a time it was hard to trust in God.
Where do you feel most at peace? Describe it.
Get things brewing: When you think of love what comes to mind?
Where are at with trust? Do you trust God? Do you trust people?
Steep in God’s word: John 15:9-11, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
Session Six: Joy in Love
Press it out: - Describe a time when you felt completely wrapped in Jesus love. - Have you ever been in love? Describe those feelings. - Where do you feel you are at in your journey with Jesus?
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It’s more than a ministry,
it’s a
* Movement!
* PraiseAndCoffee.com 64
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2013