Q Magazine v1i41 | September 6, 2018

Q inform | inspire

When In Saturnalia series brings ancient festival spirit to Atlanta LGBTQ Designers Fuel YOUR FALL FANTASIES Follow These ATLiens CRUSHING INSTAGRAM Are You in Love with THE PERSON OR THE SEX? September 6, 2018

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Queer Agenda Q News The Q Q Shots

The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

Follow the

EDITOR’S NOTE Q

LEADERS

See who’s making waves and who to watch in Atlanta as they set the world on fire

WHETHER YOU’RE UP FOR A NEW PARTY, down with Instagram, out for queer fashion, or here for some LGBTQ love, this week’s Q leads you in the right direction, and we get there by following Atlanta groundbreakers in every category.

Category is: Frontrunner Fabulous.

First up, columnist Vince Shifflett has been around the love block, and he’s here to help in Q Voices. He offers advice for the lovelorn who tend to fall for the sex and not the person. The Q column supplements it with recommendations for those queers who try to change others.

Making waves in the social world are our favorite LGBTQ Instagram influencers. We narrowed it MIKE FLEMING down to fit our 10 Queer Things feature, and we EDITOR & PUBLISHER think each of them is worth a follow for original, compelling, visually stunning scrolls. These folks are setting the standard for Atlanta queers beyond the thirsty selfie posters you may or may not also enjoy.

Always on the lookout for creatives setting the world on fire, I found three LGBTQ designers who are on the leading edge for a bold, colorful Fashion spread that says, come on autumn and get here. You might not find these looks on racks or backs just yet, but you will see their inspiration this fall on big-name labels like Prada, Berluti and Mochino.

Pushing the envelope of Atlanta nightlife in an effort to make their brand a gay household name, the Saturnalia guys let us in on their plan to rule the world. In our Events cover story, learn about their inclusive Rome costume party next week, and its warmup event this weekend. Both aim to give back to the community before bringing their concept to other cities.

Q wouldn’t be Q without your favorite features, so true to form, we have an amazing lineup of events in the Queer Agenda, eye-popping photos of what you got caught doing last week in the Q Shots, and Q News from Project Q Atlanta to see what’s going on in politics.

Turn the page to get started, and take all you want. We’ll have more people to watch in the LGBTQ-ATL every Thursday. theQatl.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 1 ISSUE 41 SEPTEMBER 6, 2018

10 QUEER THINGS InstaFame

COVER

18 10

Toga Party Saturnalia’s Rome hits Heretic

NEWS

13

28 The Crown

High Stakes

Ga. Gov. candidates diverge on LGBTQ issues.

FASHION

22

G0 Bold

30 Posh Spice

Queer Designers put their mark on fall looks

FEATURES Q Voices

8

The Queer Agenda

16

Q Shots

28

The Q

38

38

32 Bey Day theQatl.com

7

Q

Q VOICES

Love &

Too many times, I’ve met someone and right away the two of

LUST

Are you in love with the person or the sex?

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I BEEN DOWN THE ROAD

us are going at it several times a day like energizer bunnies.

This would go on for several weeks to several months and was blissful. But as the sex became far less frequent and the sexual passion diminished, the relationship was over. It ended.

It’s an awesome thing to love the sex. But it finally dawned on me that for a healthy relationship to last, you must also love the person. For me anyway, it’s easier said than done.

where I was in love with the sex and confused it with being

When I have sex, my emotions become

in love with the man? Too many.

easily involved and before you know it,

Sex is a powerful thing. Too often I have allowed it to cloud

Bam, I’m in love. The question is,

my judgment and still my inner voice. I have allowed it to

what am I in love with?

completely take over and become the most important thing about a person and a relationship.

Guess what? One of us, or both of us, was only in love with the sex.

I remember a lot of shame being associated with sex growing up. It was taboo to talk

The question, “Am I in love with the sex or

about it. Sex was usually done in the dark,

the person” has taught me the importance of

behind closed doors, and sexuality was cer-

getting to know someone before engaging

tainly not recognized as part of who we are.

And God forbid if you were having gay sex.

You were on your way to Hell. Do not pass

in sex. I have learned to fall in love with the VINCE SHIFFLETT

go or collect 200 dollars.

I have since come to realize that sex is a beautiful thing and nothing to be ashamed of. I am also however, learning to distinguish the difference between loving the sex and loving the person.

Now, it’s an awesome thing to love the sex. But it finally dawned on me that for a healthy relationship to last, you must also love the person. For me anyway, it’s easier said than done. When I have sex, my emotions become easily involved and before you know it, Bam, I’m in love.

The question I now have learned to ask is, “What am I in love with?”

8

theQatl.com

man first, then the sex, and it’s been vital for relationship longevity and happiness.

You are much more likely to stay with some-

one if you are in love with them and not just their body.

Is it important to love the sex? Absolutely. It is a huge part of the way we share our love with each other. So when do

you have sex with someone you’ve met? Is there a right or wrong time?

There’s no one answer. Each individual has to ultimately

go with their feelings and do what feels right for them. I

am just asking that once you do, you ponder the question, “What exactly am I in love with?”

Vince Shifflett is a critical care nurse and freelance writer living in Atlanta.

Q

10 QUEER THINGS

i will

Follow

By Mike Fleming

10 Queer Atlanta influencers crushing it on Instagram Kia Comedy (Kia Barnes) @kiacomedy

Christopher Chaisson @christopherchaisson

Ni Aqui Ni Alla @ni_aqui_ni_alla_atl

National Flag Football League of Atlanta @atlgayfootball

10

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Southern Fried Queer Pride @sfqp

John James @johnjamesatl

Frankie Edwards

Feroza Syed

@everyheadismycanvas

@feroza2018

Evah Destruction @evahdestruction

Q

Chris Barker @sir_greendown

theQatl.com

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NEWS Q

Tale of Two CANDIDATES Democratic and Republican nominees for Georgia governor put a fine point on what’s at stake

By Patrick Saunders STACEY ABRAMS VOWED TO PUT ANTI-LGBTQ “religious freedom” bills “in the grave a final time” as the nominee for governor joined other statewide candidates at the Georgia Democratic Convention. The Aug. 25 event in Atlanta served as a way for the party to show off its slate of candidates for Election Day on Nov. 6. There were also caucus meetings throughout the day.

Abrams, the former House Minority Leader, dropped by the LGBTQ Caucus meeting to speak out against Republican support for “religious freedom” bills.

“My faith tells me we are a shield — we are never a sword,” Abrams said.

Abrams saved her strongest words for her keynote address later before a rapt audience of more than 1,000 in the hotel ballroom.

She said the state needs to defeat “horrific” legislation like the “religious freedom” bills.

“And when we do so, when we kill that and put it in its grave for the final time, we will continue to spur creativity with our growing entertainment industry,” Abrams said.

She predicted Democratic wins in November and gave a glimpse of what the state would be like “under new management” in 2019.

“We’re going to be a state where our values come to life, where we defend civil rights, where we advance the cause of justice, where those who are straight … stand up for the rights of the LGBTQ community,” she said.

Abrams’ appearance at the convention came following an Aug. 21 fundraiser hosted by LGBTQ and allied supporters. The event, held at the home of lesbian philanthropist Edie Cofrin, raised $140,000 for Abrams, according to co-chair Glen Paul Freedman.

Other statewide Democratic candidates also addressed LGBTQ issues during their convention speeches. Project Q offers a full report at theQatl.com.

Less than a week later, Republican gubernatorial nominee Brian Kemp made it clear that he holds the opposite view to Abrams during a forum with hospitality industry officials on Aug. 28.

Kemp said he would veto “religious freedom” legislation that goes

Brian Kemp and Stacey Abrams

beyond a version that’s been federal law for nearly 25 years, but LGBTQ activists said the bill he supports is still discriminatory and sets a dangerous precedent.

The Republican nominee for Georgia governor said he would sign a “mirror image” of the federal Religious Freedom & Restoration Act (RFRA) signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1993, according to the AJC. “It’s time to do that, put that behind us so we can move on. It’s the same bill Nathan Deal voted on when he was in Congress,” he said.

“That’s all I’m committing to do. Anything else, I’ll veto it.”

“That does not discriminate. If you believe that discriminates, you need to talk to Congress,” Kemp added.

Abrams spoke before Kemp and said of the federal version of RFRA, “The notion that we can hearken back to 1993 ignores the very strong difference between then and now.”

LGBTQ activists agreed with Abrams.

“While the federal RFRA had strong support across the political spectrum in 1993, the past decade has seen the courts interpreting RFRA in ways that the original sponsors never intended,” Georgia Equality Executive Director Jeff Graham told Project Q Atlanta.

“This has led to the federal RFRA being used to justify the denial of healthcare, counseling, and other social services that are funded using public dollars.”

Kemp signed a pledge to support “religious freedom” legislation last year. He stood by it at a Republican “unity rally” after trouncing Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle in the GOP runoff for governor.

“My position on RFRA is not going to change. I’m not going to change,” Kemp told the AJC at the time.

In 2016, Gov. Nathan Deal vetoed sweeping anti-LGBTQ legislation that included a RFRA measure. The debate over “religious freedom” legislation has roiled the State Capitol for several years.

Read the full reports, as well as fresh LGBTQ local news, every day at theQatl.com. theQatl.com

13

Q

NEWS

NON-PROFIT AGENCIES:

Atlanta’s HIV housing program ‘a mess’

By Patrick Saunders AN ALREADY FLAWED PROGRAM THAT PROVIDES housing for people living with HIV went off the rails recently, leaders of several Atlanta HIV/AIDS and homelessness agencies say. They point to one culprit: the City of Atlanta.

The Housing Opportunities for Persons with AIDS program, better known as HOPWA, is a federally-funded program that provides housing solutions for low-income people living with HIV/AIDS. The metro Atlanta area is one of three jurisdictions in the state in which HOPWA funds are distributed, and the City of Atlanta is responsible for allocating those funds.

Leaders of local agencies with HOPWA programs said that major delays in receiving grant money, mistakes in the application process and inconsistencies in funding decisions have led to widespread concerns over the ability of the agencies to serve their clients.

“The entire grants management process for HOPWA funding is just a mess,” said Devin Barrington Ward, senior policy and advocacy advisor at the National Black Leadership Commission on AIDS. Compounding the issue is that the agencies are preparing for a major decrease in HOPWA funding due to a change in the formula that’s used to determine a jurisdiction’s funding. Ward said the impending change will lead to a 40 percent cut in HOPWA funding by fiscal year 2019.

The HOPWA funding issues have led to the departures of the heads of the city’s Office of Grants Management and Office of Human Services. Agencies have been meeting with representatives from both departments, members of the city’s diversity and inclusion office, and members of the Atlanta City Council since the latest problems were discovered in June. The goal is to avoid being in the same situation when fiscal year 2019 rolls around next June.

Underscoring all of this is the crucial role housing plays in fighting the HIV epidemic.

“Adherence to medication, transmission vulnerability, overall medical care and mortality are all negatively impacted when a person living with HIV is unstably housed,” said Eric Paulk, HIV policy field organizer for Georgia Equality.

‘SIMPLY NOT FAIR’ Problems with the city’s HOPWA program go back years.

Agency leaders with HOPWA programs said that they have endured delays of up to eight months in receiving their grant money from the city. This leaves agencies with a truncated amount of 14

theQatl.com

time to spend the money, which then factors into how much HOPWA money they receive in the next funding cycle.

“As you can imagine, this can pose a significant financial hardship on HOPWA providers, causing many to reduce or shut down services to clients altogether until they can receive contracts,” AID Atlanta Executive Director Nicole Roebuck told Project Q Atlanta.

There was also confusion during the application process this year about whether the funds applied for and awarded would cover one year or two years of HOPWA funding. As a result, AID Atlanta ultimately got half of what it expected.

In addition to the grant money delays and the funding length mistake, the agencies criticized the transparency of the way they were scored on applications for HOPWA funding. That score is supposed to determine how much funding an agency receives, but the scores didn’t match the awards.

Karen Carter, interim director of Atlanta’s Office of Grants Management, fielded HOPWA questions on Aug. 21.

‘WE’RE REALLY HERE TO RIGHT THAT SHIP’ An overflow crowd spilled into a room at WorkSource Atlanta on Aug. 21 to hear directly from the city about its troubled HOPWA program.

“We know we’re dealing with a decades-old problem when it comes HOPWA funding. We know there have been missteps and miscommunications in the past and we’re really here to right that ship,” said Rashad Taylor, the city’s Chief Equity Officer and leader of One Atlanta, the city’s office of diversity and inclusion.

One move the city made was to give the agencies six months of funding immediately. This would allow the agencies to pay their bills and provide services while simultaneously giving the city time to fix major issues.

Officials from the city’s Office of Grants Management and Office of Human Services fielded questions during the meeting in an effort to identify issues going forward. With HOPWA funding shortages, clients in need and even larger HOPWA cuts looming in 2019, the agencies said they needed fixes soon.

Read more about this and other LGBTQ news on Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com.

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

September 6 - September 12

THURSDAY, SEPT. 6

FRIDAY, SEPT. 7 Pride Underwear Auction

Wild Cherry Sucret hosts this 9th annual fundraiser where you can bid to take the

briefs right off the stripper @ Swinging Rich-

ards, 9 p.m. atlantapride.org

FRIDAY, SEPT. 7 Big Freedia

The unapologetic artist hits town with Demo Taped Sex Down South

The fourth annual sex and sexuality conference to talk, educate and play

with sex returns @ Hilton Atlanta Downtown, through Sunday, Sept. 9. sexdownsouth.com

and an opening set by queer

Atlanta’s own DJ King Atlas @ The Masquerade, 8 p.m. masqueradeatlanta.com

Feminist Vent

A facilitated group discusses “the personal as the political” with Atlanta’s lesbian-feminist literary outlet @ Charis, 7:30 p.m. charisbooksandmore.com It’s Only a Play

Process Theatre Co. stages Terrance McNally’s show about opening

night with a playwright, his best friend, a television star, his fledgling

producer, erratic leading lady, wunderkind director, an infamous drama critic and a wide-eyed coat check attendant @ Out Of Box Theatre, 8 p.m. Runs through Sept. 22. theprocesstheatre.org

THURSDAY, SEPT. 6 War on the Catwalk

Liz Phair

night only @ Buckhead Theatre, 8 p.m. thebuckheadtheatreatl.com

rocker and sex symbol is sure to

Amen: Beyoncé

8 p.m. varietyplayhouse.com

Drag Race’s Season 10 queens descend on Atlanta en masse for one

The one-of-a-kind drag show and the one-of-a-kind bar collide and pay tribute to the queen @ Sister

Louisa’s Church of the Living Room, 10:30 p.m. sisterlouisaschurch.com 16

theQatl.com

Lesbians rejoice. The one-of-a-kind crush this set @ Variety Playhouse,

Love the WooWoo Beer Bust

The lovable Protect Your Monster’s Harry

has a female bestie named WooWoo. Drink

bottomless beer to raise funds for her safe-sex

campaign @ My Sister’s Room, 9 p.m.

DILF: Coach

Jocks and singlets are the dress code for this round of daddies and boys @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

SATURDAY, SEPT. 8 Wussy Prom

Amanda Lepore headlines this

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“Petty in Pink” throwback to your school daze

@ Heretic, 10 p.m.

hereticatlanta.com, wussymag.com

SUNDAY, SEPT. 9 Heifer Revue: Cuntry Queens

Ruby Redd corrals queens with a coun-

try-western theme for your brunchtime

entertainment @ Cowtippers, 1 p.m.

cowtippers.com

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 12 Serial Mom

The camp classic screenings continue with the Wussy crew, their drag hosts, and you @ Plaza Theatre, 7 p.m. wussymag.com Saturday Church

This moving story returns to a local screen for Queer Youth Movie

Night benefiting Atlanta Pride @ Agnes Scott College, 7 p.m. atlantapride.org

Find even more LGBTQ events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at

indulge your senses 650 north ave ne, suite 201, atlanta, ga 30308 404-winery1 | citywinery.com/atlanta

theQatl.com.

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17

Q

EVENTS

Do as the

ROMANS Do

By Mike Fleming

A

fter a successful launch this spring, Saturnalia Productions brings their concept party series to Heretic on Sept. 15 with an ancient-festival feel and a modern LGBTQ-Atlanta twist. Welcome to Rome.

“We wanted to make a difference and offer Atlanta something that has never been seen before on a Saturday night,” say Kevin Phillips and Marc Hammer, the organizers of the event.

“We wanted everyone to know that our community could have options.”

Prepare to be transported to what the Saturnalia crew hopes is a new era in Atlanta dance events with charity beneficiaries and a fun-for-all ancient theme. Prepare your centurion uniform, ancient armor, toga or other Roman-themed costume, and get ready for legendary New York City DJ Brett Oosterhaus manning the beats.

“It’s not your typical ‘formula’ party,” organizers say. “It is much more on many levels. We not only want us and everyone else to have a good time, but we also want to help our community. At the end of the day, we are all part of one community, and we found a way to glue everyone together at one event, which we feel does not happen enough.”

Good causes help set Saturnalia apart from other local events, organizers tell Q. The beloved Pets Are Loving Support is a beneficiary, and this time, Avita Pharmacy and Empowerment Resource Center team with Saturnalia to further their mission for sexual health. They and the party will get a boost from a Rome warmup party on Sept. 9 at Zocalo called Sexual Health Sunday.

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Saturnalia’s themed event aims to open ‘gay dance parties’ to the whole community

And they want to be known for the fun that becomes a staple in queer Atlanta.

“We want to keep these parties going with the recognized Roman theme,” organizers say. “Our goal is for one party a quarter in Atlanta, but we hope with help of our main hosts, Andrew Haratine and Nick Smith [photo], we can take this party on the road to other cities across the US. We are already in talks to do this.”

That confidence in their concept comes from such an amazing response from friends after the inaugural event, they add.

“There was something festive and magical in the air that night that we want recreate, and we will, even bigger and better,” they say. “I would encourage people to try the party out and not assume that it is for a certain segment of gay Atlanta. We are working really hard to tear down those boundaries and walls and get people to realize we can all have fun together.”

The feeling of togetherness and support that personifies the ancient Roman theme will change hearts and minds, organizers hope.

With the usual Sunday fun-day crowd at that location, Saturnalia expects a great turnout. They hope to entice partygoers to the Rome party by offering free HIV/STI testing, PrEP information and halfprice tickets to the main event for the first 100 people tested.

“Sometimes that gets lost in the gay community, and it shouldn’t,” organizers assert. “We need to support each other more and realize that we have more in common than we have differences. You are likely going to find yourself dancing next to someone you may have never encountered before, and that is what makes it different. Seeing everyone having fun, because the atmosphere is going to be a really fun Roman festival.”

“We want to be known for doing more,” says Jeff Paramore, who along with Kevin Phillips rounds out the leadership team at Saturnalia with Hammer.

Saturnalia presents Rome on Sept. 15 at Heretic, 10 p.m.. VIP and general admission tickets are on sale now at saturnaliaparty.com.

Sexual Health Sunday is set for Sept. 9 at Zocalo, 3 p.m. – 6 p.m.

theQatl.com

Rome hosts Nick Smith and Andrew Haratine.

(Photo by Brian McCall courtesy Saturnalia) theQatl.com

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Whatcha Singing Wednesday Hosted by Ron Scoza, Baby D GaLore & DJ Weston

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THURSDAYS

TNT Talent Night Hosted by Destiny Brooks

9 p.m.

FRIDAYS

Fresh Fish Friday Drag 8-10 p.m.

Movie on the Patio Bar 7 p.m.

Moonlight Cabaret Hosted by Shavonna B. Brooks & Raquel Lord Feat. Tristan Hartman Panucci & Niesha Dupree

11 p.m.

SATURDAYS

The Moonlight Starlets Hosted by Misti Shores

8 p.m.

Divas of the Moonlight Cabaret Hosted by Shavonna B. Brooks Featuring Raquel Rea Heart, Maya Ross Monroe and Evah Destruction you all eat can fet! buf

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Q

FASHION

Three queer clothing designers color your autumnal imagination

Fall

Fantasy

By Mike Fleming

Y

ou may not find them on racks or your backs just yet, but the 2018 runways are bursting with ideas for self-made style by independent, out-and-proud queer designers.

From androgynous looks for all comers to bold saturated color, wildly mixed prints and luxurious textures, fall/winter just got interesting. Now if we could just get those Atlanta temps to cooperate‌ ď ľ

Charles Jeffrey Loverboy charlesjeffrey.net

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Q

FALL FANTASY, Continued

Facetasm facetasm.jp

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FESTIVAL PROGRAMMING Yoga & Live Music, Car & Motorcyle Show - Lambda Car Club Comedy Showcase, AIDS Memorial Quilt, Poetry Slam, Sobriety Meetup Youth Liberation Space, Trans March, Dyke March, Shooting Stars Cabaret, Queer Your Gender Dance Party, Outworlders Gaymer Space, 18th Annual Atlanta Pride Brunch, Gray Pride, Family Fun Zone SWEET TEA: A Queer Variety Show, Starlight Cabaret FOR A FULL SCHEDULE AND TO LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR PARTNERS PLEASE VISIT ATLANTAPRIDE.ORG.

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FALL FANTASY, Continued

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Q

Q SHOTS

DRAGNIFICENT FINALE AT MIDTOWN TAVERN

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com 28

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Q

Q SHOTS

AGLCC FOURTH FRIDAY AT INTERCONTINETAL BUCKHEAD

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

ATLANTA ALL STRIPES AT GEORGIA BEER GARDEN

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Q

Q SHOTS

QUEEN BEY AFTERPARTY WITH QUEERLY BELOVED AT MSR

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com 32

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

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Q

Q SHOTS

BLACK OUT PARTY AT ATLANTA EAGLE

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Q

Writers!

Photographers!

Q magazine and Project Q seek to expand our pool of contributors Reporting, commentary, event pics, portraits and photo essays. Help us express Atlanta’s diverse LGBTQ perspectives on a one-time or recurring basis.

Samples to mike@theQatl.com

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Fresh content served daily theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

BOYS & BASKETS HUNK AUCTION AT BJ ROOSTERS

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N

E P O

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

TE A L

The Club Where Men Do It! Open Thursday - Sunday at 9pm 36

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Q

THEQ?!

Republicans,

MEAN GIRLS & You Here’s why changing others is impossible, but also not your job

Q

I’m a liberal queer Millennial with friends and family on both sides of the political aisle. I try to educate my rural, straight Republicans back home since they aren’t as aware of the affects that Trump & Co. have on to the gays that they “love watching on TV.” Believe it or not, I’ve actually made some headway.

My frustration actually comes from queer acquaintances in the ATL. Several actually voted for the bastard, others chose not to vote, even knowing how much older generations fought for us to have basic rights.

How can I help change this? How do I interact with these people? Should I continue to interact with them at all? What can I do to ensure my rights stay intact?

Dear Martyr: Did you notice the difference between your description of the folks back home and people you know here? It’s the word “friends.” Among the pros of friends vs. acquaintances is the ability to have substantive discussions that go somewhere.

The opinions of other randoms are none of our business – even when they do spout them daily on Facebook. Just as it is a mistake for them to think they can change our minds about politics, we owe them the same courtesy. Letting go of the responsibility you feel to sway their wrongheaded views will set you free.

Once your head is clear about your role, you are under no obligation to interact with these people, and if you are cornered, you have the option to engage politely, change the subject, or to walk away. All those choices are signs of maturity.

If these local oxymorons are also your friends, talk to them the same way you do your straight buddies back home – with patience and open ears. They’ll hear you better if they feel heard as well.

None of this is to say you can’t or shouldn’t do anything for 38

theQatl.com

ongoing gay rights fights. Changing hearts and minds of the people in your circle of influence is a solid choice on your part. The time and energy spent inside that circle can be more effective than taking on relative strangers outside it.

There are gay Democrat and Independent groups, as well as LGBT-inclusive organizations. They would welcome your activism and advocacy on their behalf — and your own.

Q

A gaggle of Gwinnet gays from high school have decided I’m the odd bitch out. A couple of them were my friends once, and a couple more weren’t even out yet when we graduated.

All of us moved to Midtown in the last three years, and for some reason they hate me. I’d like to say I don’t care, and I do have other friends, but it hurts to see them having a “home team” with me ostracized.

Dear Sadface Emoji: As if high school angst weren’t enough drama and disappointment back in the day, these people have decided to drag it out and snare you into playing along. Don’t let them.

What would be nice about old-school connections is having them to support each other. In this case, it sounds like you’re better off without them.

Since the only one you can change is yourself, let go of their hold over you and move on. At your age, any or all of them could grow up someday and see their errors, and that would be great, but waiting around for that possibility hurts no one but you.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON