Q mag v1i22 | April 19, 2018

Q

April 19, 2018

inform | inspire

Your Guide to Atlanta’s

Forget Them & EXPRESS YOURSELF Get Ready For TRIXIE MATTEL Benefits for LGBTQ COUPLES & THROUPLES Tough Talks for GROWN QUEERS

BEAR PRIDE

+

The Q Queer Agenda Q Shots

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gynecomastia:

The Male Curse So many men have enlarged breasts. Did you know that 30-60% of men are affected by large breasts?

This common condition affects the self-esteem of men. The cause and treatments remain a mystery for most men because we never discuss the issue.

If you are embarrassed to remove your shirt in public or in private because of your chest… you have Gynecomastia.

Gynecomastia is caused by an imbalanced ratio of testosterone to estrogen at puberty.

This imbalance can cause fat and/or glandular tissue to be deposited in greater quantity in the breasts. Gym steroids can cause or contribute to gynecomastia.

Surgery is the only way to fix the problem.

Liposuction with or without glandular excision is the cure. These procedures are performed as out-patient surgeries. Most men will miss only a few days from work. Post-operative pain and discomfort is minimal.

Since there are no adverse health effects with Gynecomastia, it is considered a cosmetic surgical procedure. The cost of the treatment is similar to liposuction costs.

Keith Jeffords, MD is a Board Certified Plastic Surgeon in Smyrna, Georgia. He is the 2018 Moderator for the American Society of Plastic Surgeons’ series on “Aesthetic Surgery for Men” and lecturer on Gynecomastia.

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Q

EDITOR'S NOTE

Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@QMAGATLANTA.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@QMAGATLANTA.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@QMAGATLANTA.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@QMAGATLANTA.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@QMAGATLANTA.COM CONTRIBUTORS LAURA BACCUS BUCK C. COOKE BRAD GIBSON TAMEEKA L. HUNTER SUNNI JOHNSON ERIC PAULK VINCE SHIFFLETT DUSTIN SHRADER ALEXANDRA TYLER DISCLAIMER The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors do not necessarily reflect opinions, beliefs or official policies of Q Magazine or its publisher Initial Media, except where individual publishers’ names specifically appear. Appearance of photos, credits, or names in this publication neither implies or explicitly states the sexual orientation or gender identity of its subject.

Q Magazine and the author of each article published on this web site owns his or her own words, except where explicitly credited otherwise. Articles herein may not be freely redistributed unless all of the following conditions are met. 1. The re-distributor is a non-commercial entity. 2. The redistributed article is not be sold for a profit, or included in any media or publication sold for a profit, without the express written consent of the author and this publication. 3. The article runs in full and unabridged. 4. The article runs prominently crediting both the author’s name and “courtesy Q Magazine.”

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All the Creatures in

QUEER FOREST SIX MONTHS INTO OUR QUEST to bring more Atlanta queers into the spotlight of local LGBTQ media, we’ve met pansexual doulas, Dykes on Bikes, transgender socialists and socialites, radical and mainstream activists of color, lesbian DJs, gay male nuns, Latinx feminists, and a whole lot more.

The even better news is, we’re just getting started.

But where would Atlanta’s queer woodlands full of beautiful beasts be without our bears? Arguably the first faction of our diverse community to be associated with a spirit animal, the guys get their celebratory due this weekend at Atlanta Bear Pride.

In their honor, with huge thanks to Heretic, Bearracuda and Bear Pride’s other participating venues, our Cover Feature is an entire special section dedicated to the packed slate of events this Friday through Sunday. It’s everything you need to know if you’re a bear, otter, cub, or their other fuzzy and nonfuzzy fans.

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

Our Atlanta Bear Pride coverage falls alongside gorgeous photos of Q’s cover model this week, gay Atlanta’s own Tyler Forsyth. He serves you big, beefy bearcake in pics shot by Brian McCall of McCall Studios.

But as you know by now with Q, that’s not nearly all. We also have a supersized Queer Agenda calendar for a supersized weekend. Look for details on Trixie Mattel’s Atlanta stop, DJ Holographic’s gig with Deep South, Milford Thomas’ silent film masterpiece Claire, and the heralded Ni Aqui Ni Alla art show, to name just a few.

In Voices, Heather Maloney runs a comb through gender identity and its endless forms of expression, and in The Q, adulting is hard but being a responsible queer means facing tough talks like a grownup rather than avoiding conflict.

Also on tap, 10 Queer Things dives into the benefits of being in a relationship, and before you ask, yes, we’ll do the benefits of being single in an upcoming issue soon.

Of course, our Q Shots pages feature your smiling faces at multiple queer events around town, and our advertisers provide goods and services backed by full support of our LGBTQ readership.

It all adds up to more to love in queer Atlanta, and another issue of Q dedicated to covering it all. Keep picking us up around town, visit us for fresh daily content on our Project Q Atlanta home site at theQatl.com, and look for us next week with a whole new batch of goodness. As always, write me any time at mike@qmagatlanta.com.

INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

APRIL 19, 2018

10 QUEER THINGS Home Team

16

COVER STORY

10

Fur Fest

Atlanta Bear Pride

QUEER AGENDA

13 15

Calendar Babes

30 No Shame

Jam packed LGBTQ Weekend NEWS

24

Bear-y Busy

33 Salad Days

Bear Pride events calendar

FEATURES Q Voices

6

8

10 Queer Things

10

Q Shots

29

The Q

38

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34 Gridiron Gays

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Q VOICES

Express

YOURSELF Valuing our own standards becomes paramount when falling outside the ‘expected’

NO MATTER HOW HARD WE TRY, NOBODY’S gender expression is going to please everyone. If we tread too far away from the traditional "norm," we’re perceived as seeking attention or just downright weird. If we stay too close to traditional norms for male and female, then wee continue the cycle of restrictive gender roles.

It’s hard to find that elusive balance that will somehow please most people around us, and thankfully through the years many have shrugged off the fears of what people might think in favor of being comfortable with themselves and who they are. Their examples make it easier for each new generation.

Sometimes how that manifests can be as simple as presenting a little more masculine or feminine than is “expected.” Sometimes it can mean throwing traditional gender roles out the window and into a raging inferno fueled by the demise of “tradition.”

nine that day — and I may as well wear the ones I have while I still have the body for them.

I hear all the time, whether it’s about me or someone I know, that we should do more to present “female” as if there’s a right and wrong way to do so. These commenters wouldn’t say the same to a cis woman, and that’s usually because these “good Samaritans” want to “help” trans women to feel more themselves.

Our gender isn’t the sum of our traits, but rather a point along a spectrum that we most identify with.

In fact occasionally, they’re right in prescribing a dress, skirt or makeup because the woman in question is too afraid to express herself that openly on her own, but most times it just comes off as invalidating to tell a trans woman that her sense of self-worth isn’t where it should be because she hasn’t “taken that extra step” to expressing herself as someone else sees fit.

It should be obvious, but being a woman isn’t solely about outwardly expressing traditional feminine traits. Expression is a separate entity from our identity, and anyone, regardless if they’re male, female, or non-binary, can express the same feminine or masculine traits and qualities we’re all familiar with without somehow damaging or muting the gender with which they identify.

Sometimes, of course, it means an entire H E AT H E R MALONEY physical transition. In those cases, it’s not just the expression part, but rather the gender Our gender isn’t the sum of our traits, but rather a point along we’ve been assigned as a whole. Many trans men and women a spectrum that we most identify with — on the most personal struggle just to exhibit traits we were told not to have while level imaginable. growing up, and while some feel strongly about having the gender expression that traditionally lines up with the gender Everyone should live freely and explore themselves to their they identify as, others have either grown too accustomed to heart’s content. And while I still encourage everyone to do so, the only way they’ve known to behave (regardless of gender) a more important message to send would be to allow others to and don’t see a need to change their expression, or they feel live freely and explore themselves. strongly as a tomboy or effeminate man.

We all have ways in which we want to express ourselves, but All of those realities and presentations are valid. While society the more restrictions and judgment we place on others unnecneeds to catch up to accepting them, we each must value our essarily, the worse we make it for everyone, ourselves included, own standards above those of the outside world. to live a life of freedom and personal truth.

Personally speaking, I’ll usually be seen wearing a t-shirt and Heather Maloney is a writer, editor, and creative thinker from jeans, generally being a tomboy. Even before I transitioned, I Atlanta with a vested interest in gender and sexuality. Read her would imagine myself as a tomboy because that’s just how I’m full column at theQatl.com. comfortable perceiving myself most of the time. Other times, I put on a dress because I feel like I want to present more femiPhoto by Robin Rayne Nelson/Zuma 8

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News | Events | Culture | Photos | Podcast

IN PRINT WEEKLY new content online daily

Q Magazine

theQatl.com

Project Q Atlanta theQatl.com

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Q

10 QUEER THINGS Live Long & Prosper Multiple studies show partnered people are up to twice as likely to live longer, earn more, and have more to spend.

Family Time However many members you have to define it, building an in-home family starts with the core relationship(s).

Better T gether The 10 best things about being in a relationship

Lotta Laughs They're someone to laugh with who gets your humor… and someone to laugh “at” without making a thing of it.

Emotional Security That feeling of waking up, looking over, and knowing you took the risk and accept each other despite flaws.

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Coming Soon: 10 Best Things About Being Single

Plus One Having someone to tag along and hang out at events, eat with, and not go home alone like some friends is nice.

More Sex It’s true. People with partners report getting laid more with fewer dry spells than singles. Variety notwithstanding.

Double the Wardrobe

Feedback If you choose well, having an honest opinion that comes from a place of unconditional love is invaluable.

Swapping shirts or going in on one expensive piece is just one of the perks of giving up that closet space.

Teammates Having a partner in crime means that someone has your back and is playing for the same endgame.

True Intimacy Sex is awesome, but having someone to share every day and night ultimately means sharing your vulnerabilities. theQatl.com

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

April 19 – April 25

THURSDAY, APRIL 19

Photo by Patricia Villafane

Ni Aquí Ni Allá The ‘Neither Here Nor There’ Latinx, queer, feminist collective hosts more than 20 artists in this group show @ The Bakery, 7 p.m.

Visit theQatl.com for their story. niaquiniallaatl.com

Trans Field Day Atlanta Pride throws this day of playground games for grownups, especially transgender, gender non-conforming and nonbinary folks @ Brownwood Park, 2 p.m. atlantapride.org

Atlanta Bear Pride A huge queer weekend of events is made gargantuan with the annual fur fest at multiple venues with home base @ Heretic. Turn the page for our detailed special section. hereticatlanta.com

Paint for Pride Get out your wine glasses and paint brushes because Atlanta Pride benefits from your fun @ Sips N Strokes Toco Hills, 7 p.m. atlantpride.org

SATURDAY, APRIL 21

FTK Beer Bust The gays who bring you Backpack this summer and Toy Party for the holidays are already raising funds For The Kids @ Joe’s, 12:30 p.m. forthekid.org Mr. HSL The pitchers and catchers of Hotlanta Softball League field their contenders for the annual beefcake crown @ Lips, 1 p.m.

– 5 p.m.

Miss Ruck N Maul The burly men of Atlanta’s queer rugby squad don drag for their annual fundraiser, this year called ‘A Beautiful Mess 2: Sloppy Seconds’ @ Out Front Theatre, 7:30 p.m. atlantabucksrugby.org Storytellers Images rich in narrative detail like ‘Nobody’s Wife’ (photo) pepper this group show and artist reception @ pb&j gallery, 7 p.m.

Ph

oto

by K

ath

r yn N

ee

DJ Holographic Get down to the sounds during Vicki Powell’s latest Deep South dance party @ The Music Room, 10 p.m. boomboxatl.com

SUNDAY, APRIL 22

Cocktails & Conversations Meet gubernatorial candidate Stacey Evans to discuss topics of LGBTQ interest @ 750 Piedmont Ave., 7 p.m. staceyevans.com

FRIDAY, APRIL 20

Photo by Max Schiano

Rainbros The quarterly meeting of the gay male mentoring social group and LGBTQ action bros discusses ‘Healthy Lifestyles at 20, 40 and 70’ @ Out Front Theatre, 6:30 p.m. rainbros.us Rainbow Roses The neo-liberal queer womyn of Rotten Peaches and the local Socialists gather to overthrow capitalism as well as the patriarchy with their comrades @ Georgia Beer Garden, 4 p.m. facebook.com/rottenpeachesatl Loudspeaker Come to this queer reading and open mic night for scheduled poets, comics and inspired speakers like TyQuan Morton (photo), then anyone who wants to join them @ Revelator Coffee, Grant Park, 7 p.m. wussymag.com

MONDAY, APRIL 23

Trixie Mattel The recent All Stars winner on Drag Race shows her stuff during a Now with Moving Parts Tour stop @ Buckhead Theatre, 8p.m. trixiemattel.com

Claire Milford Thomas’ silent masterpiece on celluloid gets its live quartet adaptation of its original score thanks to the Atlanta Sisters @ Plaza Atlanta, 7 p.m. atlsisters.org theQatl.com

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Q

BEAR PRIDE

Out of

Bears, cubs, otters and other furry beefcakes show out for Atlanta Bear Pride

HIBERNATION W

By Dustin Shrader

inter is a memory, and Atlanta Bear Pride is coming out and coming for you this weekend.

The annual festival packs its schedule with gay men, parties at multiple venues, food, booze and music from Friday night all the way until the the wee hours of Monday morning.

“Atlanta Bear Pride is a celebration, a celebration of bears and bear lovers from all over the world, coming together to express their pride of whom they are,” says Alan Collins, general manager of Heretic and cofounder of Bear Pride.

“It is also an invitation for others to step out of their comfort zone and get to know a different culture within our community,” Collins adds. “The bears are a welcoming, friendly, loving group of guys that just want to have a good time.”

Now in its fourth year, Atlanta Bear Pride keeps getting bigger, stronger and furrier, expanding its scope of venues and entertainment options. It’s an accomplishment that Collins proudly acknowledges.

“We have grown so much,” he says. “The first year, which typically would be difficult to have good numbers, surprised the crap out of us, and it has grown every year since, almost doubling last year. The response we’ve gotten for this year kind of scares me!”

The increase has a lot to do with the type of events, and most importantly, the talent, according to Collins.

“My cofounder Matt Mikesell [of the Bearracuda party series] and I are both experienced veterans in the nightlife industry, and we know, you’re only as good as your last party, so we keep raising the bar.”

Translation: Star power.

“We’ve had some great talent in the past, but this year blows my mind a little,” Collins teases. “We have the one and only Ruby Redd, two amazing local DJs Mike Pope and Stan Jackson, adult film star Atlas Grant, DJ J Warren, DJ Nina Flowers and DJ Tony Moran.”

The Bear Pride Warmup party goes down on Friday evening at Woofs. Then Heretic hosts the kickoff party that night with 16

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renowned porn star Atlas Grant working the crowd and DJ Nina Flowers spinning bangers to keep the dance floor moving all night. Gay men’s sex club Manifest4U, conveniently located across the street from Heretic, keeps the afterhours party going.

Make sure to get at least a couple hours of sleep, because Bear Pride is back on Saturday afternoon with the Bear Bust Cook Out on Heretic’s patio. That night sees the Bearracuda main event with DJ Tony Moran, another after hours swinger at Manifest4U, and J Warren at Xion from 3 a.m. until sunrise on Sunday.

See Page 24 for the full Atlanta Bear Pride roster.

Sunday adds an event and a new venue to the festivities this year.

Blake’s opens its doors for Bear Bites, a free lunch for Atlanta Bear Pride attendees.

“We wanted to step out of our comfort zone and include an event at a venue you wouldn’t normally think about when hosting a bear event,” Collins says. “Alan, the owner of Blake’s, is so excited and can’t wait for the bears to come and play with his crowd. He’s even feeding the bears for free!! And you know we love to eat!”

But that’s not nearly all. Sunday also includes Bears & Beers at Woofs, and the Bear Pride party continues at BJ’s with an underwear party on Sunday night. Manifest4U opens its halls to the crowd again late that night.

First-time attendees, no matter their styles, can all find something in the packed weekend schedule. Collins assures us that there is plenty of bear action for everyone.

“We’ve got so many great events planned it’s hard to pick,” he says.

“If you’re an early-to-bed day gay, I suggest Woofs on Friday, Beer Bust Saturday afternoon, Bear Bites at Blake’s on Sunday and Sunday Funday at Woofs.”

“If you’re a all-night-long gay, you can’t miss Bear Invasion on Friday, Bearracuda Saturday, Xion Sunday morning, and the Closing Underwear party at BJ’s Sunday night.  Atlanta Bear Pride takes place April 20-22. Visit atlantabearpride.com.

Keep turning the pages for more details about each event.

Photos of Q cover model Tyler Forsyth

by McCall Studio Photography, mccallstudio.net theQatl.com

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Q

BEAR PRIDE, Continued

Photos of Q cover model Tyler Forsyth

by McCall Studio Photography, mccallstudio.net 20

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Q

BEAR PRIDE, Continued

Cubs and Otters and Bears FRIDAY, APRIL 20

OH MY!

Atlanta Bear Pride packs the weekend with something special for all the woodland creatures

SATURDAY, APRIL 21 Bear Bust Cookout 12 p.m. -5 p.m.

Heretic hereticatlanta.com

Atlanta Bear Pride Warmup Party Woofs, 7 p.m. -9 p.m.

2425 Piedmont Road NE woofsatlanta.com

Atlas Grant

DJ Tony Moran

Bear Play Party Manifest4U, 12 midnight 2103 Cheshire Bridge Road manifest4u.org

ABP Kickoff Party Bear Invasion with Atlas Grant and DJ Nina Flowers Doors, 9 p.m. $10 before 10 p.m., $15 after Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road hereticatlanta.com Bear Play Party Manifest4U, 12 midnight 2103 Cheshire Bridge Road manifest4u.org

Bearracuda With DJ Tony Moran Doors, 9 p.m. $10 before 10 p.m., $15 after Heretic bearracuda.com

Atlanta Bear Pride After Hours With DJ J. Warren Xion, 3 a.m. -7 a.m.

2043 Cheshire Bridge Road facebook.com/bjroostersatlanta

DJ Nina Flowers

DJ J. Warren

SUNDAY, APRIL 22 Bear Bites Free Lunch Blake's on the Park, 12:30 p.m. -3 p.m.

227 10th Street NE blakesontheparkatlanta.com Bears & Beers Sunday Funday Woofs, 4 p.m. -7 p.m. woofsatlanta.com

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Bear Pride Underwear Party With DJ Stan Jackson 9 p.m. -Midnight BJ Roosters facebook.com/bjroostersatlanta Bear Play Party Manifest4U, 12 midnight 2103 Cheshire Bridge Road manifest4u.org

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DAMN DADDY! AT HERETIC

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

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Q SHOTS

SHAMELESS WITH ACE ERA AT BLAKE’S

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com 30

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PHOTOS BY LAURA BACCUS

TOSSED SALAD AT MY SISTER’S ROOM

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY LAURA BACCUS theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

NATIONAL FLAG FOOTBALL LEAGUE OF ATLANTA

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

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The Hotlanta Softball League and the

Social Events Committee Proudly Present

Mr.

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Categories Include Creative Team Spirit, Lip Sync Battle, Formal Wear, Question & Answer

PRIZES AWARDED TO THE TOP THREE FINALISTS

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$10 AT THE DOOR • LIPS • 3011 BUFORD HIGHWAY

Official Mr. HSL After Party

Starting at 5 p.m.

Atlanta Bear Pride Attendees Are Welcome!

Q

THEQ?!

TOUGH

Talks

Bailing on difficult conversations?

Buck up, buttercup. Adulting is hard.

Q

It’s time to break up with my significant other, but she’s so stuck on me that I’ve just been sort of “phasing her out” instead of making a clean break.

I feel bad about dumping her because she’s super sweet. What should I do?

tion, because some folks discuss it and still contract the virus due to various other circumstances.

Finally, we could go on all day about legal and moral issues, arguments and implications, but you’re not going to kill him.

All of these poor perceptions on your part are actually part of the stigma you dislike so much, so stop buying into it.

Couch HIV status conversations in all the fun safe or safer sex activities you want to try on each other. It’s just like any difficult talk: Do it with authenticity and sensitivity, and let the other guy decide for himself.

You say he might hate you, but if he does the lay wasn’t going to be worth it. If he wants to get down, you can do so with clear heads. Either way, the truth shall set you free.

Dear Sadsack: Hard conversations are hard. Welcome to adulthood. Stop feeling bad for the breakup and start feeling bad for stringing the woman along. Now fix it by ripping off that Band-Aid. There, doesn’t that better?

Q

My boyfriend’s breath smells like he does nothing but eat out every member of a gay sports team. That he actually has and is good at it is fine by me, but how do I broach the topic of his stank breath afterwards?

Q

I am newly diagnosed with HIV, and I’m learning to navigate my life with daily drugs, doctors, farts, and oh yeah that pesky crippling stigma.

Obviously, I’ve never been good about having “the conversation” before sex. Even now that I basically have to, I don’t want to kill the mood like, “Hey listen I might kill you or whatever. Let’s fuck.”

How do I say it without ruining my chance of getting laid or increasing the chance of him hating me?

Dear Self Sabotage: It’s great to hear that your diagnosis hasn’t stopped you from pursuing your life. Part of the process does include harsh realizations, but the a-ha moments aren’t the ones you think.

Stigma still does exists. Someone’s negative judgment can be directly in the path of getting a job or apartment, or it can just be general disapproval. In the former case, you may have recourse. In both cases, it’s your choice to internalize their shame or reject it.

But let’s get real about misconceptions to set yourself free from immediately. Lots of people talk about about HIV before sex, not because they “basically have to,” but because they should.

Secondly, you didn’t “obviously” have a problem with the conversa38

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I want to kiss him, but I figured pulling on a hazmat mask first would kill the mood. Help!

Dear Booty Breath: Your situation may be phrased creatively, but halitosis is common: No one wants to tell the offensive party, but everyone wants someone to tell them soon.

You owe your partner the truth. Communication is almost always better than letting a situation fester, in this case literally. Try the good old compliment sandwich: Deliver the meaty news between pieces of praise.

“The whole team loves what you’re serving, but you do yourself a disservice by not gargling when you’re done. The rest of you is so hot that if you fix the breath issue, we’ll all be back in line for the amazing service.”

Even if it takes a day or two, he’ll appreciate it.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling.

Send your burning Qs to mike@qmagatlanta.com.

Illustration by Brad Gibson

Celebrating Bear Pride with bare pride!

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