Q Magazine | July 11, 2018

Q

July 12, 2018

Everybody Has A SUMMER BODY

inform | inspire

nd close a s e h t s t i ta h n a l t A r orld away w a d Q uee n a to home Gay, Trans, Poz & FULL DISCLOSURE Best ATL Events in THE QUEER AGENDA Negotiating Pacts in POLYAMOROUS PACKS

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Q News The Q Q Shots

The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

Q

EDITOR’S NOTE

ESCAPE Plan LGBTQ-ATL gets away for daydreams and distant destinations

WITH VACATION SEASON IN FULL SWING, we are ready to hit the beach. Now, whether that means in our imaginations from our desk at work, or in real life, this issue of Q visits some dream locales to fuel the fantasy.

From sandy shorelines within driving distance in the Southeast, to global queer hotspots in far-flung places, our Travel cover feature on beaches has the holiday cure for those summertime blues. Hop on and join us on the water with LGBTQs in Israel, Africa, South America and Europe.

And speaking of getting away this summer, let’s leave queer body shaming behind us as well. For too long, too many of our people have spent summers shaming themselves and others for not fitting a small-minority niche idea of “perfect.”

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

Our 10 Queer Things feature takes that dated standard head on this week with beautiful queer bodies of every shape, size and color. When you’re done, we hope you’ll cover or uncover as much as you dare and cheer every body as a summer body.

While we’re embracing ourselves and everyone else in the queer village, The Q looks at when, why and to whom we disclose our statuses — as gay, as trans or as HIV-positive. Full disclosure can only mean coming out as you in your own time, no one else’s.

Meanwhile, the LGBTQ-ATL just keeps spinning forward in the Q Shots photo galleries and the Queer Agenda events calendar, and local Community News just keeps coming. All of it and more is here for your perusal, and we cover more of it every day on Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com.

Until next week, keep living your queerest summer dreams, and reach out to let us know how we’re doing.

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Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER SUNNI JOHNSON ERIC PAULK VINCE SHIFFLETT DUSTIN SHRADER ALEXANDRA TYLER

DISCLAIMER The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors do not necessarily reflect opinions, beliefs or official policies of Q Magazine or its publisher Initial Media, except where individual publishers’ names specifically appear. Appearance of photos, credits, or names in this publication neither implies or explicitly states the sexual orientation or gender identity of its subject.

Q Magazine and the author of each article published on this web site owns his or her own words, except where explicitly credited otherwise. Articles herein may not be freely redistributed unless all of the following conditions are met. 1. The re-distributor is a non-commercial entity. 2. The redistributed article is not be sold for a profit, or included in any media or publication sold for a profit, without the express written consent of the author and this publication. 3. The article runs in full and unabridged. 4. The article runs prominently crediting both the author’s name and “courtesy Q Magazine.”

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Call 404-949-7071 or e-mail sales@theQatl.com to advertise in Q Magazine and Project Q Atlanta. theQatl.com

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News | Events | Culture | Photos | Podcast

IN PRINT WEEKLY fresh content online daily

Q Magazine 6

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Project Q Atlanta

INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 1 ISSUE 33

JULY 12, 2018

10 QUEER THINGS Beach Bodies

COVER

18 10

Shore Leave Georgia & Global Getaways

COMMUNITY

13

28 Brunch Bunch

Queer Eye

Clarkston Mayor gets a TV makeover NEWS

Futurecast

14

Georgia Dems fear SCOTUS pick

32 Bear Soup

FEATURES Q Voices

8

Queer Agenda

17

Q Shots

28

The Q

38

38

36 We Are Marshal theQatl.com

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Q

Q VOICES

Entertaining a

THIRD

Negotiating agreements and interactions between parties in polyamorous relationships

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TWO PEOPLE IN A POLYamorous relationship with a third have a mutual understanding that negatively impacts the third party, who had no say in the creation of the agreements?

It was an important question. It can be painful and feel unfair to be limited and impacted by agreements that we had no voice in and no opportunity for input. Assuming the agreement meets criteria in my previous articles about healthy compromise and boundaries, there are two ways this could come up: when the third party is a new person, or when the third party is a committed partner in a triad.

Let’s say my partner asks that I don’t jump into bed with someone that I’ve just met. She’s not asking for decision-making power. She’s just wanting to know in advance.

er any more than the other two partners, but renegotiation between all three may be necessary.

Just like a two-person relationship agreement, an agreement between three or more people, needs to take each person’s feelings into account, and it needs to be based on honest, clear, and timely information. It must be agreed to freely and not as a response to internal or external negative pressures. If someone is accommodating others, it needs to be recognized and appreciated as a gift.

There will be times when the honest answer is that a person is willing to accommodate one person more than another. It may be due to the degree of investment in one relationship over another, the depth of feelings for one person over another, or the perceived strengths and weaknesses of one person versus another. There will be times this does not feel fair.

If one person ends up feel shorted despite their clear attempts to ask for and negotiate for what they need, use it as a learning experience and a reality check. Either you renegotiate based on the experience, or you can accept that the agreement in practice is not what you expected and adjust expectations.

Of course, there will be times when one or more people in the relationship are unhappy.

Maybe the two metamours have opposite interests. If you are the person in the middle, ask yourself what you truly want, then add what others want into the equation.

Try to keep the focus on what each person does ALEXANDRA First of all, when discussing why I won’t have T YLER, LCSW, CCH want, not on what they don’t want and be willsex with the third person who I just met, I ing to accommodate those desires in others. In should present it as my limit and not throw counseling, I notice people are more willing to accommodate my partner under the bus. It’s poor form to say, “I’d love to others when they feel their needs are being met. If you are gethave sex with you right now, but I can’t because I agreed with ting resistance from someone, ask if they feel their needs are my partner to not do that.” Instead, own it: “I would love to being met, and seek to find out what they feel they need. You’ll have sex with you on a second meeting, but I have chosen to be amazed how much more generous and flexible they are! not have sex with anyone on the first meeting… for reasons Finally, treat all parties with compassion and respect. It costs of my own.” nothing but a bit of time to hear and validate each person’s It’s also important to present my decision as part of a healthy, feelings (including your own!), rather than dictating to them secure attachment in a relationship and how partners should what they are and are not going to get. be striving to create that. The third person then has all the Alexandra Tyler is an LGBTQ, poly, kink, sex worker supportive information and can accept or reject further interaction. mental health therapist in Atlanta. She specializes in treating The situation is very different when you are already involved trauma/PTSD, depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues and teaching with a third person. Once they are in your life, they become relationship communication. Twitter @ATylerLCSW, Facebook @ part of your relationship agreements. There needs to be open AlexandraTylerLCSW.CCH. Read her columns on her website, communication with them about all relationship agreements CultivatingJoy.net. One-time reprint here and on theQatl.com that impact them. The third person doesn’t’ have veto powwith permission.

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Q

10 QUEER THINGS

EVERYBODY HAS A SUMMER The perfect BODY summer look

By Mike Fleming

10

theQatl.com

for your ‘type’ is WTF you want without shame

theQatl.com

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COMMUNITY Q

ALLIED

Forces

Clarkston mayor gets the ‘Q ueer Eye’ treatment in Atlanta’s most diverse burgh

By Patrick Saunders CLARKSTON, GA., MAYOR TED TERRY GETS THE makeover of a lifetime on the new season of the popular Atlanta-based Netflix reboot “Queer Eye,” but the LGBTQ ally was apprehensive when producers first approached him about appearing on the show.

“I didn’t want to be out front. I thought that there were other people more worthy in the city that could use this help,” Terry told Project Q Atlanta. “But the producers were very adamant that they really wanted to tell the story of Clarkston. They felt it was a good opportunity to showcase in a positive way a community that is defying the anti-immigrant rhetoric that is coming from the White House.”

Clarkston in DeKalb County is a city that, according to the Guardian, has received more than 40,000 refugees over the past 25 years, making the self-proclaimed “Ellis Island of the South” moniker a fitting one. The city is also welcoming to LGBT people — Terry is a member of Mayors Against LGBT Discrimination ­— and the mayor was endorsed by Georgia Equality in his 2017 re-election.

days of filming, a lot was bound to be left on the cutting room floor, and this scene was affected by that.

“I feel like I had a better version of the rap battle that maybe didn’t quite make the cut,” Terry said. “I remember being a little better than when I first saw it.”

Metro Atlanta businesses make cameos throughout the episode, with stops at Bacchanalia in West Midtown, Bill Hallman in Inman Park and Reunion Salon in Avondale Estates.

The salon is where Terry’s resistance beard went to die.

Terry said he has kept up with what he learned from the Fab Five, using his new office space and hosting dignitaries and other officials at his newly redecorated house. The mayor and his girlfriend, Andrea, hosted a crowd that included state Reps.

Park Cannon, Sam Park and Dar’shun Kendrick, City of Atlanta LGBTQ Affairs Coordinator Malik Brown, and others for a watch party the night Season 2 dropped on Netflix.

And for the beard? Terry said he’s let it grow out a little bit.

“I’m not going to go back to the resistance beard, but I do plan on having a little bit of a well-maintained scruff for the foreseeable future,” he said.

Overall it was a positive experience for Terry and a big plug for the city of Clarkston.

As Terry said in the episode, “Sometimes you just have to let five gay guys into your life and see what happens.”

Visit Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com every day for fresh LGBTQ news.

In fact, the Trump narrative carried through to the title of Terry’s episode: “Make Ted Great Again.” Episode 8 was filmed in July 2017.

A big part of Terry’s makeover had to do with what he called his “resistance beard.” During the episode, friends of his call it a “dirty hippie beard” and compare him to “a younger Santa Claus” and “the goat from Red Riding Hood.”

Keeping with the theme, Fab Five design expert Bobby Berk said in the episode of Terry, “My first impression of Ted is not really mayor. Maybe more … mangoat.”

Terry also wanted to work on his public speaking skills, so culture expert Karamo Brown engaged him in a rap battle with a state champion in public speaking. With five 12-hour theQatl.com

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Q

NEWS BRIEFS

Georgia Dems warn Supreme Court could ‘rip away’ at LGBTQ equality

By Patrick Saunders DEMOCRATIC GEORGIA LAWMAKERS HELD A JULY 3 PRESS conference at the State Capitol to warn of the damage that a another conservative U.S. Supreme Court justice could do to progressive issues, including anti-LGBTQ “religious freedom” legislation, marriage equality and non-discrimination protections.

“As we stand here today and think about the egregious turnarounds that can come from a stacked Supreme Court, we think it’s time to sound the alarm,” said state Sen. Nan Orrock, a longtime vocal supporter of LGBTQ issues.

“A lot of the rights that we Americans have worked and fought hard for are at risk of being ripped away at the stroke of a pen. The courts are no longer an objective, unbiased, non-political entity,” state Rep. Deborah Gonzalez said.

Rep. Bee Nguyen read a note from Rep. Sam Park, the first openly gay man elected to the Georgia legislature. Among Park’s comments, he decried anti-LGBTQ “religious freedom” bills that have dominated the discussion at the Capitol for several years, calling the legislation unnecessary.

“We must put an end to using religion as a sword to attack minority communities,” Park said in the note.

Other progressives have also raised concerns that a Supreme Court with a new conservative majority would strike down the court’s marriage equality decision from 2015.

The lawmakers addressed a number of other issues that could be in peril with a more conservative Supreme Court, including a woman’s right to choose, the environment, voting rights, workers’ rights, affirmative action, immigrants’ rights and legislative redistricting.

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By Patrick Saunders THE GEORGIA ETHICS COMMISSION has tossed a complaint the Georgia Log Cabin Republicans made accusing the Democratic Party of Georgia of “campaign mischief ” during last year’s Atlanta mayoral campaign runoff.

Jamie Ensley, president of Georgia Log Cabin Republicans, and his group alleged that Georgia Democrats violated campaign finance rules by attaching the names of House Minority Leader Bob Trammell and state Sen. Nan Orrock to the bottom of mailers that accused Atlanta mayoral candidate Mary Norwood of being a closet conservative. Ensley was a key strategist for Norwood’s campaign.

Orrock, queer state Rep. Park Cannon (photo) and other Democratic lawmakers spoke out as President Trump considers replacements for retiring Justice Anthony Kennedy.

‘We must put an end to using religion as a sword to attack minority communities.’

Rep. Sam Park

Log Cabin’s ‘frivolous’ Norwood case thrown out

In a June 19 letter to Trammell, the commission smacked down the complaint and said the mailers did not violate state law.

“The in-kind contribution at issue fits squarely within the contribution limitation exception” under Georgia law, the letter stated. “The in-kind contribution was made by a political party and supported a group of named candidates.”

Trammell called Ensley’s complaint “totally frivolous.”

“The commission’s dismissal of the complaint shows that the complaint was totally frivolous and wholly without basis,” Trammell told Project Q Atlanta.

The Georgia Log Cabin Republicans made news recently for saying the “liberal bullying” of Atlanta-based Chick-fil-A should end and encouraged a “buycott” of the restaurant chain. Ensley also said that LGBTQ equality in the U.S. had largely been accomplished.

Visit Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com every day for fresh LGBTQ news.

Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

July 12 - July 18

THURSDAY, JULY 12 – SUNDAY, JULY 15

Dog Sees God

A familiar group of teens confronts major social issues in this play subtitled “Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead” @ Out Front Theatre, all weekend. outfronttheatre.com Atlanta Comic Con

Vendors and celebs make your nerd-tastic

dreams come true @ Georgia World Con-

gress Center, all weekend. atlantacomiccon.com

THURSDAY, JULY 12 Your Queer Guide to Polyamory

Everything you always wanted to know about

loving multiple partners but were afraid to ask

@ Rush Center, 7 p.m. atlantapride.org

FRIDAY, JULY 13 Atlanta Dream Pride Night

The WNBA squad plays with LGBTQ love for a

block of Atlanta Pride ticketholders @ McCamish Pavilion, 6 p.m. atlantapride.org

SATURDAY, JULY 14 Manifestations of Art

Erotic artwork exhibit reception hosted by

the gay male sex club @ Manifest 4U, 4 p.m.

Q

Writers!

Photographers!

Q magazine and Project Q seek to expand our pool of contributors Reporting, commentary, event pics, portraits and photo essays. Help us express Atlanta’s diverse LGBTQ perspectives on a one-time or recurring basis.

Samples to mike@theQatl.com

manifest4u.org

Backpack in the Park

Another venue change for the do-gooding gays of For The Kid In All

Of Us as they collect school-supply backpacks @ Greystone at Piedmont Park, 7 p.m. forthekid.org

Orange You Glad Noni’s Is 10?

The queer-owned alternaspace does an anti-Trump themed celebration of its decade anniversary @ Noni’s, 8 p.m. nonisdeli.com

Find even more events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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Q

TRAVEL

It’s a less cruel, more queer summer on sandy shores near and far

By Mike Fleming

W

hatever your queer flavor at home in the LGBTQ-ATL, our fine city’s inland heat and humidity is no joke, especially this year. We find ourselves daydreaming of downtime in better situations with warm sands, ocean breezes and crashing waves.

Your heart rate just dropped several beats by just picturing it, right? As an escape for all you hot queers in Atlanta, we did some digging to fuel your daydreams, day-trips, distant destination to-do list, or all of the above.

We start by visiting several easy-access beaches in the Southeastern U.S., then hit the air and sea for global gay getaways you’d never forget. If you’re going to dream, dream big, right?

Whether it inspires you to plan your own holiday, or just gets you through the moment with that fan trained directly on your face, enjoy this week’s fantasy photo essay on the following pages. 

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Southeastern U.S. A simple drive can make those beach dreams a reality. All of these are between four and fiveand-a-half hours from Atlanta.

GEORGIA The coast is home to many tiny islands and shorelines, but we narrowed it down to just two.

Tybee Island is just a few minutes’ drive from historic Savannah. Come for the white beaches, stay for a Civil War historic site, a 300-year-old lighthouse, and restaurants with plenty of seafood and country cooking.

St. Simons Island

St. Simons Island is one of the more popular islands just off Brunswick, Ga. This is the most low-key and peaceful. After a day at the beach, drop by one of the super-casual local gay bars.

SOUTH CAROLINA Two of the best beaches in the entire U.S. are a drive away from Atlanta.

Myrtle Beach offers slow Southern style with a touch of class. Gambling boats on the Atlantic and the Myrtle Beach Boardwalk will keep you entertained off the sand.

Myrtle Beach

Hilton Head Island has 12 miles of beach behind the car dealerships and McMansions you drive through to get there. Your

entire beach experience can feel more like a day at a country club, augmented by sophisticated shopping.

Charleston is often called Savannah’s sister with its historical, antebellum vibe.

Charleston’s Tybee is Folly Beach, home to a namesake pier for shopping and dining with amazing views of the Atlantic.

FLORIDA Panama City just may be the birthplace of Spring Break, but it’s better in summer.

Nearly 30 miles of beach serve warm water and hot sand on the Gulf side of the state.

Panama City

Jacksonville Beach is actually not far from St.

Gulf Shores

Simons Island, but a world away in atmosphere. A thriving mid-sized metropolis comes equipped with bigger attractions like a world-class zoo. Supplement your beach days at a water amusement park or on-the-water shopping center.

ALABAMA Gulf Shores gives you white sand, warm water, and tons of summer adventures including zip lining, deep sea fishing, golfing and even a bird trail. theQatl.com

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THE FUN CONTINUES ALL WEEK LONG! MONDAYS

Moonlight Bingo Hosted by Ginger Vitas & Trashetta Galore

8 p.m.

TUESDAYS

Karaoke

Hosted by Angelica D’Paige Brooks

FRIDAYS

Fresh Fish Friday Drag

Brunch from noon - 3 p.m.

Movie on the Patio Bar

ALL YOU CAN EAT PRIME RIB

7 p.m.

Moonlight Divas

with Destiny Brooks & Shavonna B. Brooks

11 p.m.

WEDNESDAYS

SATURDAYS

with Vaughn 9 p.m.

Gospel Brunch

8-10 p.m.

10 p.m.

Showtunes

SUNDAYS

Kitchen Open 4-8

$16.99

T-Dance Sunday Funday 3-7 p.m.

The Infamous

Divas of the Moonlight Cabaret with Shavonna B. Brooks

11 p.m.

9-11 p.m.

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ALWAYS A PARTY BUT NEVER A COVER!

Q

TRAVEL, Continued

Photo By Buck C. Cooke

Amalfi Coast, Italy One of the world’s jewels, Amalfi stacks sundrenched homes and businesses up steep terrain to create breathtaking views. Private and public beaches are at every turn, from which you can kayak on crystal-clear waters. One place to spend the day is Positano Beach, then walk to galleries, bars, gelato stands and shops, and eat on scenic terraces.

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Q

TRAVEL, Continued

Cape Town Some of the most immaculate beaches on the planet, including exclusively gay beaches at Clifton, as well as shopping and dining on Camps Bay, are just five-to-ten minutes from this internationally savvy city. Drive down the coast of the Atlantic side of the cape for amazing views of the affectionately nicknamed South African Riviera.

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Tel Aviv Tel Aviv is famous for its “never-ending” 9-mile shoreline ­— it has 14km, or 8.7 miles for us dummies over here. Pretty queer-friendly in general, Tel Aviv is home to the specifically LGBTQ Hilton Beach, and the gay Ga’ash nude beach.

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Q

TRAVEL, Continued

Rio de Janeiro Warm beaches, hot social hours and scorching nightlife. Welcome to Rio, one of South America’s most gay-friendly cities. From laid-back vibes on LGBTQ beaches like Ipanema Farme de Amoedo, Copacabana and Arpoador, to cosmopolitan dining and shopping in gayborhoods like Lebion and Leme, there’s something here for every queer mood that strikes you.

When the sun goes down, enjoy some two-dozen LGBTQ clubs.

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Q

Q SHOTS

RESPECT THE BRUNCH WITH FOR THE KID AT ZOCALO

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

The reviews are in!

Readers love

Q

The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

and your messages are the proof!

Thank you for the support, and please continue reaching out!

Wow. I just found Q, and it’s great!

Congratulations on the new magazine.

Atlanta didn’t even know Finally! A queer publication what it was missing!

for everybody, not just some.

A gay magazine I actually want to sit down and read!

I just wanted to tell you how much my husband and I love your new magazine…

omg I love your mag!

Q magazine is the best thing to happen to Atlanta!

I thought I knew what to expect in local rags, but Q is totally different. I need to pick up more often.

You guys are like a breath of fresh air.

Q is informative and

energetic, something that was sorely missing in the ATL.

Thank you for bringing Q to Atlanta!

You guys should have done this years ago!

Atlanta needed this.

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Q

Q SHOTS

BEAR INVASION AT HERETIC

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

OP EN

The Club Where Men Do It! Open Thursday - Sunday at 9pm Special Theme Nights every Wednesday!

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LA TE

www.manifest4u.org 2103 Faulkner Rd SE Atlanta, GA 30324

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LGBTQ POLITICOS FOR SAM PARK AT BLAKE’S

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

ATLANTA BEAR FEST AT COURTYARD MARRIOTT

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

MIDTOWN MOON GRAND OPENING

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Q SHOTS Q

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DJ MATEO SEGADE AT ATLANTA EAGLE

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY LAURA BACCUS theQatl.com

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Q SHOTS

ATLANTA PRIDE GRAND MARSHAL RECEPTION

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com 36

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Q

THEQ?!

Full DISCLOSURE Orientation? Gender Indentity?

Serostatus? When, and why, to tell people your queer truth

Q

I’m 24 and still haven’t finalized my sexual orientation. I have done lots of guys and a few girls, and it was all fun, but I still don’t feel bi. Then again, I’m not ready to say I’m 100 percent gay either.

My friends say that I’m too old to be undecided, and a guy I like told me to come out and don’t get back to him until I do. To make matters worse, my mom doesn’t even know that I at least some of the time like guys.

Am I bisexual? Should I come out to my mom? Should I just pick a sexuality and roll with it?

Dear Questioning: Everyone comes out at their own pace, so ignore any and all pressure until you feel ready. Your mom is a big girl. She can wait, especially since you don’t know yet what to tell her.

Now about all that fun you’re having! There is nothing wrong with liking sex with both genders. There’s also no clock ticking.

You are under no obligation to decide at all, ever.

Trying to “pick one” would hurt you and support the notion that people choose orientation. You’re somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, and that’s OK. If you stay there, great. If not, also great.

Identifying and disclosing orientation are personal. Don’t try to rush either just because someone else wants an answer.

Q

I’ve been out for 11 years. I’ve always been comfortable with my sexuality, but everything changed when I tested positive for HIV. I haven’t had a date since my diagnosis. I’m afraid of how potential partners will react. When and how do I tell them? And if the sex is safe, do I have to tell them at all?

Dear Telling: Disclosing your serostatus is like coming out all over. Like the first time, those who can’t accept it can’t be your problem, and trust that you can get through it.

There’s no right way to reveal that you’re positive. It can be 38

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situational, but it may be easier to say it up front before building attachments or expectations. Reactions are going to run the gamut, from bothered not at all, to way too bothered. You’d rather know now which it is.

As for whether to disclose, it’s illegal not to do so in Georgia and most other states, but seriously, it’s Golden Rule time: Would you have liked to know?

Q

I’m the only transgender person I know in my small town.

I’m considering coming out, but I have no idea how. Help!

Dear New Here: Once you come out to yourself, you’re halfway there. Find a trusted confidant — sibling, mentor, friend — to tell first. Together you can anticipate challenges and create a safety plan if someone freaks out.

Connect with online or community resources, and remember the process can be stressful, so treat yourself well. Finding other gay people may be easier than you think once you come out, even in your town.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling.

Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

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