Q Magazine v1i36 | August 2, 2018

Q

The Deal with THE GAY HUG

August 2, 2018

inform | inspire

Queer Circus Jam aerialists soar over Atlanta LGBTQ-ATL Music MORPHS THE BELTLINE Atlanta Thinks Kink at SOUTHEAST BLACK & BLUE Calling Trans Men OUT OF INVISIBILITY

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Q Shots Q Voices The Queer Agenda

The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER SUNNI JOHNSON ERIC PAULK VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER

DISCLAIMER The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors do not necessarily reflect opinions, beliefs or official policies of Q Magazine or its publisher Initial Media, except where individual publishers’ names specifically appear. Appearance of photos, credits, or names in this publication neither implies or explicitly states the sexual orientation or gender identity of its subject.

Q Magazine and the author of each article published on this web site owns his or her own words, except where explicitly credited otherwise. Articles herein may not be freely redistributed unless all of the following conditions are met. 1. The re-distributor is a non-commercial entity. 2. The redistributed article is not be sold for a profit, or included in any media or publication sold for a profit, without the express written consent of the author and this publication. 3. The article runs in full and unabridged. 4. The article runs prominently crediting both the author’s name and “courtesy Q Magazine.”

We Are

EVERYBODY

Making places at the table so ‘y’all’ really does mean ‘all’

YOU’VE SEEN THE CUTE SHIRTS at Southern rallies: “Y’all Means All.” You embrace the concept that everyone deserves equality. You certainly subscribe to the idea, at least in theory, that everyone’s voice is valid in the national, global and local chorus, regardless of sex, sexual orientation or gender identity.

But don’t fool yourself. Practicing what we preach isn’t always as easy, even between those of us in Atlanta’s queer village. Especially if you’ve blindly enjoyed privilege based on any combination of gender, race or ethnicity, it can be difficult to even begin learning how inclusion works.

So what does inclusion look like? If you’re asking that question, you’re on the right track.

It’s a question we actively pursue at Q magazine to make sure that the mix of faces on our pages reflect all the MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER letters in the queer soup: L, G, B, T, Q and more. As the weeks go by, on our covers and in our coverage, we include those unique perspectives, as well as those of various races, religions and ethnicities, as part of our mission.

We ask ourselves on every article, listing or feature, “How can this be more inclusive?”

Does this item affect people of color, women, transgender men and women? Could they be older, curvier, more left-of-center, more right of center? If so, why do so many other organizations and media outlets — straight and queer, national and right here at home — default to such narrow margins for LGBTQ representation?

One such instance came up during last week’s “Legends” profiles. It led to a teaching moment and to this week’s 10 Queer Things. Discover how I learned about 50 trans men, and get started down the same road to enlightenment about our transgender brothers throughout history.

The diverse queer smorgasbord is ready for you in our other content this week as well.

Our People photo essay once again touts the talents of photographer Jon Dean. In gravity-defying photos, Queer Circus Jam members take to their trapezes and silks. In the accompanying interview, our own Patrick Saunders talks to their leader, queer female circus artist Melissa Coffey. They all let us in on why flying is so fun, and why doing it with other queers is so special.

Elsewhere, Vince Shifflett talks gay men and bigoted bakers in Q Voices, the LGBTPOC Morph collective bends the BeltLine’s ear with a live set in the Music column, and kink queens welcome all comers to Southeast Black & Blue in Events.

Need more? We’re happy to oblige with smiles in Q Shots pics, “the gay hug” in The Q advice column, and to-dos in the Queer Agenda calendar. Keep flipping pages for more, and shoot me a note at mike@theqatl.com if you have feedback or ideas for future coverage. theQatl.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE

VOLUME 1 ISSUE 36 AUGUST 2, 2018

10 QUEER THINGS Best Men

COVER

14 10

Queer Swingers

LGBTQ aerialists take flight MUSIC

Listen Up

13 12

31 In Deep

Queer music jam on the BeltLine

EVENTS

25

Think Kink

34 Heart Beat

Southeast Black & Blue hits Eagle

FEATURES Q Voices

8

Queer Agenda

29

Q Shots

31

The Q

38

38

36 Bar None theQatl.com

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Q

Q VOICES

Whose Right Is It

ANYWAY?

Here’s why ‘religious freedom’ is not a license to discriminate THE RECENT SUPREME COURT DECISION FOR THE baker who refused to make a cake for a gay couple has me thinking. According to the Constitution, what exactly is one’s right? Do we all have equal rights or not?

There seems to be an overwhelming need to be right in society today. Is that need to be right really an attempt to control things?

anyone else based solely on the fact that they do not believe the same things?

It’s time we all look past our nose and stop the judgment. It is not anyone’s place to refuse service to another based on

beliefs. That is called judgment. You are judging another by

refusing service. You are saying they are wrong. You are taking away their rights so you can practice yours.

I’m not asking the Muslim cashier to eat the ham. I am asking him to ring it up.

I’m not asking the Jehovah’s Witness shopkeeper to celebrate the birthday, just sell me the card.

So you believe in the Bible. Does that give you the right to

refuse service to someone who doesn’t? Forget

Suppose you came into the emergency room where I was working and you needed CPR or life support to save your life, but it was against my religion to use artificial means to save a life?

Would I refuse and let you lie there and die?

Of course not. It is my right to continue to believe the way I believe about artificial life support, but it is also the right of the patient to have artificial life support.

that the Bible forbids judging others in the

first place. Jesus sat down to dinner with the scribes and Pharisees. They were considered

the chiefs of sinners, but he didn’t deny them

their right to dinner because they didn’t believe the way he did. He instead showed them love, kindness and respect.

VINCE SHIFFLETT

Suppose you go to the store and the Catholic behind the register refuses to sell you birth control because it is against her religion. The Muslim behind the register refuses to sell you an Easter ham because it is against their religion to eat pork. The Mormon behind the register refuses to sell you Coke because it goes against their religious belief. The Jehovah’s Witness refuses to sell you a birthday card for the party you’re attending.

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We all deserve equal rights, but what hap-

pens when you use your rights to deny me my

rights? It all comes down to respecting and loving everyone, regardless of belief.

All the religions in the world are man-made and often used to divide us. Wars are waged based on them. Court battles

are forged in them. Something about fighting in the name of God just doesn’t seem right to me.

No one wants to be forced to do anything that is beyond their religious belief, but where do we draw the line?

I have come to realize that I am only responsible for me. I

I’m not asking the Muslim to eat the ham. I am only asking him to ring me up at the register. I am not asking the Jehovah’s Witness to celebrate or attend the birthday party with me. I am only asking her to sell me the birthday card. The gay couple was not asking the baker to attend the wedding and celebrate with them. They were only asking him to sell them a cake.

out his own soul salvation.” It does not say for you or I to

Is this where we are headed? Anyone can refuse any service to

ger living in Atlanta. Read more of his work at vinceshifflett.com.

theQatl.com

love a quote from the Bible that says, “Let every man work work out another’s belief.

Let’s work together to ensure that everyone enjoys the same rights. Allow each individual to live the life they love. It is their right.

Vince Shifflett is a critical care Registered Nurse and popular blog-

Body & Soul To advertise, contact us at sales@theqatl.com or 404-949-7071

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Q

10 QUEER THINGS

Out of Invisibility 10 famous and infamous trans men to remember

By Mike Fleming WHEN Q’S 10 QUEER THINGS LISTED LGBTQ LEGENDS in a recent issue, transgender men who “most everyone knows

and will be remembered forever” were hard to bring to mind. I consulted a trans male friend.

“We are so invisible,” he said. “I really don’t know a name that’s even close to that kind of stature. Brandon Teena is known for

being murdered. Chaz Bono is really just known for being Sonny and Cher’s kid. [Georgia native] Robert Eads is known for dying unnecessarily of ovarian cancer.”

“That’s a whole other 10 Queer Things right there,” I said.

And so it is, starting with Eads, a Georgia native. Turns out, 50 men could easily make this list, but we’ve chosen a cross-section of lives and lifestyles from history and today for this quick-hit feature.

Dante ‘Tex’ Gill The notorious gangster dabbled in pimping and money laundering but was eventually imprisoned for tax evasion.

He is the subject of the upcoming film Rub & Tug, a role which Scarlett Johansen recently backed out of under public pressure.

Robert Eads The subject of the award-winning documentary Southern Comfort (for which the former Atlanta conference was named), doctors initially refused to treat Eads’ ovarian cancer. When they did accept him, the cancer had spread to the point treatment was futile. His story helped change awareness and medical practices.

Kye Allums The basketball player came out and became the NCAA’s first openly transgender Division I athlete. Now he is a lecturer and author focusing on the trans experience in LGBTQ activism.

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Aydian Dowling This internet hottie changed the game when Men’s Health elected to include him in its cover model contest. He didn’t win, but he was ultimately awarded a specialedition cover.

Willmer ‘Little Ax’ Broadnax Known for his tiny stature and huge voice, this gospel singer traveled with several groups, most famously the Five Blind Boys of Mississippi. It was only during his autopsy that it was discovered he was assigned female at birth.

Rev. Louis Mitchell The first trans board member of the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, he’s a preacher who serves as the engagement coordinator for the Transfaith/ Interfaith Working Group.

Albert Cashier A Union soldier in the Civil War, he fought in more than 40 battles and once singlehandedly overpowered a guard to escape back to the front after being captured.

Alan L. Hart Hart was an accomplished radiologist and medical researcher, and was one of the first Americans to undergo a hysterectomy for the purpose of gender reassignment therapy.

In the early 20th century, he pioneered the use of X-rays as a tuberculosis screening and helped save thousands of lives.

Harry Allen A mythical figure in the American West, Allen was a favorite topic of pioneer newspapers, which salaciously reported his trans truth with every account of his hard-drinking, fist-fighting, prostitutefrequenting antics.

Kylar Broadus An attorney with a focus on LGBTQ equality, he is founder of the Transgender People of Color Coalition and co-founder of the Transgender Law & Policy Institute. He has testified before Congress in favor of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.

Sources: Ranker, The Root, All People

theQatl.com

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Q

MUSIC

Morph founders Jay Levy aka ‘Jsport’ and ‘DJ Leonce’ Nelson

Photos by Jon Dean 12

theQatl.com

M

By Sunni Johnson orph is an innovative Southeastern DJ collective known for its visionary curation and a unique ability to challenge genre classifications. They bring a sense of sound and of community to an event this week.

Since February 2016, Morph has defied what it means to be successful on the local scene without aligning to trends. Their first event activated the 787 Windsor warehouse complex (now Afropunk’s festival grounds), exhibiting the group’s solid stake in Atlanta’s competitive underground.

Fast forward to August 9, when the group brings Morph the BeltLine to the city’s summer masses. Anchored at the Bakery’s fresh new performance deck, guest DJ Manara from London headlines. Morph founders Jay Levy, aka JSPORT, and DJ Leonce are also on tap for the event, as well as resident DJ Helix and host Rahbi Raw.

“It was important for us to observe how Atlanta ‘feels and sounds’ before we introduced Morph,” Levy says. “We wanted to include elements that already exist in the city and combine it with the way we think the club should sound like.”

It’s important to Morph that the performances be boundless and unrestricted, thus transcending pigeonholed parties that push dress codes or kowtow to Instagram clout queens. They do not succumb to novelty but instead focus on their art. This approach has allowed Morph to steadily take root with one of the most authentic and genuine followings in Atlanta’s altclub music scene.

With Mammal Gallery and the Arts Exchange dissolving, Atlanta’s venues more than ever lack reasonable rental fees and comfortable inclusion of people of color, queers or both.

Morph aims to curate environments with a moral responsibility to the community.

The LGBTQ-POC music showcase ready to bend queer ears on the BeltLine In addition to those Morph members, Sequoyah Murray, Nai Br.xx, Kiya Lacey and rapper Cherele are also set to perform.

The event is free.

Recently announcing their departure from the Fade to Mind label, the event also serves as a kickoff to a new era for Morph.

Amidst the constant flux of their booming individual careers, Morph’s central team can often be found performing huge festival across the globe, from Berlin to LA, Toronto to Shanghai.

Jet-setting the rich international terrain of left-field club music connects Morph to other artists worldwide, allowing them to find and bring incredible new talent to our city.

Actively inspiring and reinventing urban spaces, Morph energizes its eclectic parties with 100% creative freedom.

Members are always in support and encouragement of inclusion, femme fire and raw creative self-expression that is often missing from typical club affairs. Mirroring themselves, Morph almost always books queer DJs. With members from coastal regions — Leonce from New Orleans and Levy from South Florida — Morph’s flair for festivity may been ingrained from the get-go. But being landlocked in the gay mecca known as Atlanta has its ups and downs.

“Our scene is amazing, but it’s small and needs as much tender love and care as possible so we can continue to grow,” Levy explains. “It is still very hard for the average QTPOC to get up and throw their own events with little resources. Our scene does great at working with what we’re given, but it does feel like we get scraps compared to other scenes outside of our own.”

Morph’s momentum and recognition for superbly detailed parties has created a beaming future, not just for the team, but for other artists, performers and DJs as well. The upcoming event is just one taste of the planned concepts to come.

“I consider Morph The BeltLine to be an exciting curation of a few of Atlanta’s most underrated black live musicians, something not typically possible for us due to funding and limited spaces as the city continues to change rapidly,” Leonce says.

With careful execution of their recent partnerships with both Atlanta BeltLine and Red Bull Music, Morph makes clear what their mission has always been and will remain: To nourish Atlanta’s indie music scene and local talent.

Morph The Beltline takes place August 9 at The Bakery, 825 Warner St. Follow Morph on Facebook and Instagram at @clubmorph theQatl.com

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Q

PEOPLE

Photo courtesy CBS46

Photos of Queer Jam aerialists on this and the following pages by Jon Dean, jondeanphoto.com 14

theQatl.com

Meet Atlanta’s Queer Jam aerialists embracing ‘authentic’ LGBTQ expression while flying high

to be called,” Coffey says. “Then we play games or do yoga or some sort of dance warmup, then we have an hour of doing what people’s intentions are. There’s always aerial stuff. It’s not really a class, it’s more like a fun workshop.”

For Coffey, there’s a certain magic involved in groups that are exclusively queer.

By Patrick Saunders

M

elissa Coffey was never much of an athlete. She routinely failed P.E. classes as a kid, didn’t like sports and couldn’t touch her toes until she was in her 20s.

Then in 2003, she found herself in London witnessing an aerialist up close.

“I’m watching this performer, and my girlfriend is watching me watch this performer, and my jaw is on the floor,” Coffey tells Q magazine.

Her girlfriend bought her aerial lessons for her birthday. The aerial scene in Atlanta wasn’t much at the time, but Coffey (photos

by Jon Dean) found a class in Athens and would drive 90 minutes each way to take a 90-minute class.

“I was definitely looking for empowerment and physical power, and my own inner power in a lot of different ways, and becoming an aerialist definitely gave me a lot of internal and physical power,” she says.

The budding aerialist began training in addition to being a performer, and in late 2016, she went to a queer circus weekend at the New England Center for Circus Arts.

“It was really inspiring to see a whole bunch of queers really dive in deep together,” Coffey says. “I was like, ‘That’s it, I have to do this every month. I can’t let this idea slide on. I just gotta make my own thing in Atlanta.’”

That thing was Queer Jam, a free, monthly playshop for LGBTQ people who want to train, play or practice circus and aerial arts together.

The classes are free-flowing. Members, some of whom appear on the following pages in this week’s Q photo essay, begin by circling up and talking about what they each want to offer and want to get out of the class.

“Sometimes we talk about what our pronouns are and what we want

“Whenever I’m in any space, as much as I want to think that I am open and free, when I go to queer spaces, my whole being goes, ‘Ahhhhhh,’ like I just jumped into a pool. It’s so refreshing,” she says.

“There’s something there where I can speak my language, I can express myself and people don’t say, ‘Oh well that’s kind of weird,’ or ‘Oh I don’t really get that’ and also ‘Why aren’t you like us?’”

One day, being open and free at Queer Jam involved wigs — lots of wigs. Someone brought a box of them in, and that settled it — everyone wore wigs throughout that session.

“To me, authentic expression is extremely important, and there’s no way to lie when you’re dancing really,” Coffey says. “So if what I’m doing is aerial dance, why would I protect other people around me from the parts of me?”

Next, Coffey will be taking the queer circus jam idea on the road. In September, she teams with playshop member Patrick Joseph Boston on Bloom, a queerness and wellness retreat at New Moon Gardens, a private, gay-owned farm 30 minutes from downtown Atlanta.

The retreat includes power vinyasa, aerial yoga, daily mindfulness meditations, plant-based community meals, cultural discussions, free movement workshops, dance and ritual.

“I believe wellness is important for all humans, especially the queer community,” Boston said in a press release. “Historically, queer people have met in the cover of night life because it was the only safe space.

As we evolve as a community, as society accepts us more and more, it’s important to provide other safer spaces for queer people to gather, support each other, grow and promote a whole, authentic self. Our goal is to make Bloom one of those spaces.”  Registration for Bloom is open via Facebook invites and patrickjosephboston.com/bloom. The free Queer Jam classes at Sky Gym in Sandy Springs continue monthly for all interested LGBTQs. theskygym.com. theQatl.com

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Q

PEOPLE, Continued

Jaylynn Haywood @neon.princess.9000 I’m a bisexual circus artist. I do aerial, contortion, cyr wheel, partner acro, fire eating, flow arts, and flying trapeze. I’m also extremely passionate about the Earth and animals.

Queer Circus Jam has been really great for me because I don’t often get to be around other queer people. I still live with my mom who isn’t fully comfortable with me being bi. So, to be able to connect with queer people through something that I love so much as circus is super rewarding and is helping to expose me to more types of people and learn from them.

Ever since I was very little, I’ve always been obsessed with fantasy, especially things like fairies. I always believed I had wings in my back that we’re going to sprout once I was ready (embarrassing, I know). But my biggest dream has always been to fly. I’ve wished it on every star, every birthday candle, every 11:11 on the clock. I found my wings in the circus. FLYING is the most freeing feeling in the world.

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Jordan Hunter @jordanthefrugivore I teach yoga. I eat a high-carb, low-fat, fruit-based, raw vegan diet. I play over a dozen musical instruments from trumpet to piano to ukulele. I’m passionate about movement and overall wellness.

[Queer Circus Jam] has been a beautiful part of my yoga and movement journey. I have connected with some awesome souls. I’ve learned amazing skills and body awareness and have had some of the best fun ever since being a child.

Being that I was raised in a single-parent household with my mother and two younger sisters, I have always naturally held a masculine role as supporter, protector, leader, guide. So [with flying], it feels nice to let go and let someone else lead and control the situation for once. This is probably my favorite thing about flying — the act of surrendering my power and control and trusting someone else to support me.

theQatl.com

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Q

PEOPLE, Continued

Aktzi Capac @Fitperu I’m fitness trainer, yoga, acro, dance and massage therapist.

I love helping humans to be more active, better movers, connecting mind and body. For me, being an aerialist is playing, exploring, using all my senses with other humans allowing to create good vibes in high frequency.

Since I attended the first jam, I was hooked.

So many awesome creatures eager to share their knowledge in a playful way with a lot of caring and love. I like the honest open-minded spirits with no judgment. It feels so welcoming in a safe space. This community is growing rapidly, and I’m here to support and be part of it.

To fly is empowering. Facing my fear of heights was one of my goals to be up, meditate and enjoying the view. That’s a great progression to transcend.

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theQatl.com

Nathan Dahlkemper aka Flipper @flipperseesyou I’m a union production designer and scenic painter for film. I also love life and try and bring community together any way I can.

I started doing circus in college in a circus skills class. I haven’t performed in public, but I keep aerial silks in my home. I love the Circus Jam because we can share skills and talk outside of the bar scene. When I fly, I feel like Peter Pan or Tinker Bell.

theQatl.com

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Misti Shores

Niesha Dupree

Trashetta Galore

THE FUN CONTINUES ALL WEEK LONG! MONDAYS

THURSDAYS

Musical Mondays

TNT Talent Night

Moonlight Cabaret

9-11 p.m.

Hosted by Shavonna B. Brooks & Raquel Lord Feat. Tristan Hartman Panucci & Niesha Dupree

Presented by OutFront Theater Company

6 p.m.

TUESDAYS

Hosted by Destiny Brooks

Latin Night

Karaoke

Hosted by Alexia G. Markova, Alissah Brooks and Destiny Brooks • Featuring DJ Maye

Hosted by Angelica D’Paige Brooks

Midnight

10 p.m.

WEDNESDAYS

Whatcha Singing Wednesday Hosted by Ron Scoza, Baby D GaLore and DJ Weston

10 p.m.

FRIDAYS

Fresh Fish Friday Drag 8-10 p.m.

Movie on the Patio Bar 7 p.m.

FRIDAYS (con’t.)

11 p.m.

SATURDAYS

The Midnight Moon Scarlets Hosted by Misti Shores

8 p.m.

Divas of the Moonlight Cabaret with Shavonna B. Brooks

11 p.m.

Kitchen Hours Mon-Sat 4 -10 p.m. • Sunday Brunch Noon -3 p.m. • Dinner 4 - 8 p.m.

1492 Piedmont Ave NE • Atlanta, GA 30309 • 404-343-6514

ALWAYS A PARTY BUT NEVER A COVER!

Q

PEOPLE, Continued

Xander Mark @alex.m.rowland In aerial, I do straps, fabrics and rope. Otherwise, I run a law firm and write things for whoever feels like publishing whatever topic I’m hopped up about.

I’ve been coming to QCJ since it started and try to teach people who are new what I know. I believe very strongly that we need athletics/sports in our lives to be happy. Toxic masculinity and stereotypes keep queer people from taking up sports, and our desire to distance ourselves from the bro culture that rejects queer people often leads us, erroneously, to avoid sport.

But we need sport to be healthy, to dance without back pain, to live in the present, to meet other people, and when we equate bro culture with sport, we suffer dearly for it. Queer Circus jam, like other queer sport affiliations, brings people of all identities and bodies into something necessary and too often missing in our happiness as queer people.

Aeirline Santo @Aeirline.santo I have a lot of passions and curiosities and am very open to learning something new all the time. I’m very determined; when I want to do something, I give it my best. I am very unhappy if I don’t give my best, in everything.

Queer Circus Jam is amazing. When I’m in the air, it feels like I’m flying, just me and the silk. I’ve had a very good experience, which gives me more motivation to do better and better.

I have family members who feel like [being an aerialist] is for women and people who are very gay. I find that view disappointing. I think it’s for everybody.

Lesbian. Straight. Gay. If you want to do it, just do it, no matter what people say, what your family says, just do it. Enjoy it, that’s the most important thing.

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Andrew Harvey @andrewofora I am a college sophomore living artistically. For me, Queer Circus Jam is an exploration of movements, both foreign and familiar.

When I am in the air I feel free, true, and strongly beautiful.

theQatl.com

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EVENTS Q

Find your kink at Atlanta’s annual Southeast Black & Blue

Every Which Way

BUT LOOSE

IF YOU THINK KINK, OR THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE TO, nothing’s better than a weekend of BDSM title workshops, demos and camaraderie. Every August in Atlanta, Southeast Black & Blue Weekend delivers.

Just say “Yes, sir!” to events planned for August 10-12 at Atlanta Eagle, from the folks who bring you other Atlanta gay kink events like Atlanta Leather Pride and Hotlanta Rubber Weekend.

This year, topics include FirePlay, Male Edging & Milking, BDSM Hypnosis, Predicament Bondage, Balancing Polyamorous Relationships and NeedlePlay. Sound like a lot? It is.

Come down off that kink high during the Saturday barbecue and beer bust, cigar happy hour and annual SEBB Pig Dance.

On Sunday, it’s Kink in Recovery, Rubber Play and Scene Flogging before a final demo party on the patio.

The rubber meets the road on Friday night with a Meet & Greet featuring registration, BDSM demos, Bootblacking and the Alphabet Soup bar night.

OK then. What else do you need to know?

The BDSM community is far from intimidating — unless you like that sort of thing and ask for it. In general though, it is one of the most welcoming and non-judgmental queer scenes in Atlanta.

Participants embrace all genders, orientations, races, everything you might bring to the table. Absolutely everybody is welcome.

Ultimately, Southeast Black & Blue is about celebrating who you are here in Atlanta living your life. That means the consensual BDSM fun makes for a great weekend for all walks of life. Find your sexual rebel and march to the beat of your own drummer.

Southeast Black & Blue takes place August 10 – 12 at Atlanta Eagle. sebbevents.com, atlantaeagle.com theQatl.com

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

August 2 - August 8

FRIDAY, AUGUST 3

Atlanta's first urban winery, intimate music venue, restaurant, bar & private event space

DILF

“Daddies” and “boys” in their underwear dance like everyone’s watching @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

SATURDAY, AUGUST 4 SweetBabyCheeses

Queer comic Ian Aber serves hilarious comedians

and grilled cheese sandwiches while

they last @ Relapse Theatre, 8 p.m. comedyian.com M60

from vine

to venue

Madonna’s 60th birthday calls for a big gay dance

party @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

SUNDAY, AUGUST 5 Janelle Monae

She’s one of us, and she’s got a Dirty Computer @ Tabernacle, 7:30 p.m. tabernacleatl.com Sugar

Beyond Productions serves up a tea

dance with DJ Mark Dennis @ Loca

Luna, 5 p.m. facebook.com/beyondATL

MONDAY, AUGUST 6

Sarah & The Safe Word

Queer musician Sarah Rose and her band return as part of the lineup behind Julien-K @ The Masquerade, 7 p.m. masqueradeatlanta.com

TUESDAY, AUGUST 7 Bar Wars 2018

Bartenders from your favorite Midtown watering holes compete with audience

applause as the judge, Ruby Redd as the host,

and AIDS Walk Atlanta as the beneficiary @

Cowtippers, 6 p.m. aidswalkatlanta.com Red: A Crayon’s Musical

A blue crayon, mislabeled as red, learns about community, self-discovery

and being true to oneself @ Out Front Theatre, 8 p.m. outfronttheatre.com Find even more events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com.

indulge your senses 650 north ave ne, suite 201, atlanta, ga 30308 404-winery1 | citywinery.com/atlanta theQatl.com

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ICON: DISCO AT THE DEEP END

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Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY LAURA BACCUS theQatl.com

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GEORGIA VOICE BEST OF ATLANTA

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

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Q

Q SHOTS

JOINING HEARTS AFTERPARTY AT HERETIC

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Q

THEQ?!

Navigating the

‘GAY HUG’

A touch-averse Southerner’s guide to queer friends kissing and hugging

Q

I’ve been with a fantastic guy for several months now. I’m the gay guy with a herd of female friends. He’s the gay guy that knows every gay man.

I’m not the jealous type at all, but I feel like the lines are blurry as to what is appropriate in gay male interaction. I mean, should I be OK with someone coming up to my guy in a bar slapping him on the ass and kissing him on the lips?

I don’t have gay male friends, so this is kind of foreign to me.

Dear My Man: Congrats on your new relationship! Ain’t love grand? Of course, it comes with a whole new set of questions.

Gay rules of engagement vary from group to group, situation to situation, and queer to queer. Most touch-averse Southerners learned long ago to tolerate the “gay hug,” for example. But some of us still cringe when a sister-friend leans in for a lip smack. Still others could snap a neck muscle in reaction to someone playing grab-ass without consent.

To answer your question, yes it’s a thing. To answer another, you get to decide what’s OK for you, and work with your boyfriend on what works for you as a couple.

There’s yet another question that may or may not be lurking between the lines for you or others in similar situations. You say you’re not the jealous type, but if the implication is that you’re insecure about him possibly cheating, return to your own first sentence: He is “a fantastic guy.”

Either he is and you can talk to him about all this and grow closer, or he isn’t and you can’t trust him. The answer lies at the end of Communication Road.

Q

I’m pretty sure my wife is cheating on me with her best friend. Their inside jokes don’t include me, their movie nights look like nesting, and I can tell they’re rolling their eyes behind my back.

They were best friends for years before my wife I met, and more and more often they have me feeling like I am the third wheel.

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Should I be OK with someone coming up to my guy in a bar slapping him on the ass and kissing him on the lips?

They don’t even try to hide touching each other, or things like kissing each other hello and goodbye. Should I be worried?

Dear Paranoid: Since they are best friends of many years, it sounds like they would have had plenty of chances to hook up long before you came into the picture, and they chose not to. What’s more, none of the things on your list of “evidence” spells cheating.

Inside jokes are just that — inside — so necessarily exclusionary. Any two people hanging out and laughing on a couch could easily “look like nesting,” and try as you may, you can’t see eyes rolling behind your back. And finally, some queers hug and peck each other as greetings.

If you’re still worried after considering all of this, ask about it directly. Either you’ll learn it’s true (doubtful), or you’ll give your wife a chance to respond and put your worries at ease.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling.

Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

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