Q magazine v1i39 | August 23, 2018

Q inform | inspire

Game Changers: IT GOT BETTER

August 23, 2018

YesterQ ueers

The more things change, some LGBTQ stories stay the same

Stalking Moves Are NOT A GOOD LOOK Your Lesbian Cousin & QUEER FAMILY SOLIDARITY Becoming A Man with SCOTT TURNER SCHOFIELD

The Q Q Shots The Queer Agenda Q News The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

Each month we open the doors to the LGBT community and partners to mingle and network at an AGLCC business location.

During the event, guests are welcomed to mix, mingle and introduce themselves to other colleagues in this casual networking mixer atmosphere.

Join us for the next installment of this great community event and experience the AGLCC community:

Sponsored by:

August 24, 2018 5:30 - 7:30 PM InterContinental Buckhead 3315 Peachtree Rd NE, Atlanta, GA 30326

Š 2018 The Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. All rights reserved.

Register today: TheAGLCC.org

Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER

Past

PERFECT

Glancing back to move forward with the faces of queer history

MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE I’M ACUTELY AWARE of my own aging lately, or maybe it’s because younger queers really are callously ignoring those who paved our way to the queer Atlanta we mostly enjoy today.

RICHARD@THEQATL.COM

It’s both, actually, and neither are new problems in the scheme of history. After all, it’s been almost 50 years since David Bowie ch-ch-ch-chanted about ch-ch-ch-changes, warning “you rock n rollers” to look out for times morphing before our very eyes.

ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER SUNNI JOHNSON ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE ALEXANDRA TYLER NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

EDITOR’S NOTE Q

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

These children that you spit on As they try to change their world, Are immune to your consultations.

They’re quite aware what they’re going through.

And it’s true, whether you’re still the “children” in the lyric or have already transitioned to the other side of the equation.

Still, it’s nice to appreciate our lives and times in context of history. That’s why two of our Q features this week are decidedly set firmly in the past. 10 Queer Things pinpoints legal, activist and political milestones that directly changed LGBTQ rights in the U.S., and perhaps more slowly, began to pierce into mainstream hearts and minds as well.

But for all the advances and iterations that queer life has seen, long before now and long before Bowie’s classic song, the heart of our matters hasn’t changed at all. You’ll be able to see it in the faces of vintage photos collected in this week’s Yesterqueers photo essay. Dozens of antique pics of queers gone by give us a glimpse into the fact that love is love and gender is fluid no matter the era.

Also in this week’s issue, Sunni Johnson talks about having a queer cousin and what having each other meant growing up in the Q Voices column. In Q People, trans pioneer Scott Turner Schofield returns to the scene of his biggest early success as he stages a 10th-anniversary filming of Becoming a Man in 127 Easy Steps. And in Q News, Stephe Koontz works on a non-discrimination ordinance that every municipality in metro Atlanta can get behind.

Of course, we have Q Shots photos, and the Queer Agenda calendar of events for your downtime, as well as The Q advice column, which takes on a stalker this week. Enjoy, and we’ll see you on Project Q Atlanta with new content every day on at theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE

VOLUME 1 ISSUE 39 AUGUST 23, 2018

COMMUNITY Goodbye

COVER

22 14

Vintage Looks

The ghosts of queers past 10 QUEER THINGS

13 10

Historic Moments

29 Joe’s Boys

LGBTQ victories that changed history PEOPLE

17

Manly Pursuits

30 Be Seen

Becoming a Man in 127 Easy Steps

FEATURES Q Voices

8

Q News

13

Q Shots

27

Queer Agenda The Q

17 38

38

35 Laugh Riot theQatl.com

7

Q

Q VOICES

All in the

FAMILY

Solidarity among queers in homophobic families THE FIRST PERSON I CAME OUT TO IN MY FAMILY was my grandmother. More importantly, the catalyst that allowed me to feel safe coming out was another queer family member’s prior bravery. Seeing my grandmother’s support of my cousin’s lesbian marriage was life-changing.

For so long, I lived in the throes of being bisexual in society at best, but weighted under the cis male gaze, wondering how I would truly graduate from my own self-imposed constraints. Yet my cousin, a femme with a child, a factor that often erases a woman’s queerness, rose above it, despite some family disapproval.

Our grandmother was there for her and for me.

When I talked about my own identity, I did so casually, though the feeling of saying it aloud to any elder in my life was both terrifying and exhilarating.

Coming out was followed by interrogation, even from those who pose to be open-minded and supportive.

“Oh you’ve dated men before though! Maybe it’s a phase.”

Dating multiple trans and non-binary individuals made the demands of education on queer subject matters even more complicated. Straight family insists you explain everything, even things that are irrelevant to your own identity or partnerships, once you change the status quo.

I cannot express how many queer friends have mothers who are now lesbian-identified, yet many are still fearful of being publicly out. Having pursued the straight path due to societal expectations, safe exploration only existed decades later after divorce. theQatl.com

Previous experience of elders can empower our own steps in navigating the familial terrain.

Periodically the “gay gene” comes up: Gay twins are medically very common, though this factor has been manipulated by crazies for their own shitty theories. Whichever side of the fence you’re on, “born this way” or by choice, to be openly queer comes with a stigmatization that is always eased by support. It makes a difference to be allowed the solidarity of other queer family members as either visibility or mentorship.

Previous experience of elders can empower our own steps in navigating the familial terrain.

We come out for ourselves to live our own truths, though in learning about past generations, a deep curiosity abounds. Our relatives’ journeys, especially those who existed in harsher environments, further connect us to queer history.

According to a friend whose uncle died of AIDS in the early ‘80s and was involved in Stonewall: “I didn’t know about my queer relatives until after I was out. And it was oddly comforting, mainly to know that my mom’s side sort of has this relationship with queer people that exists not one generation but two generations back.” the friend says. “Even though my grandmother is dead, and died long before I came out, it’s almost like I know that I still have her acceptance because she accepted her brother.”

SUNNI JOHNSON

Even when one’s family never indicates being homophobic, coming out is a feat filled with fear and tension. For me, having another queer relative around the same age and someone I had fond memories of as kids is a major connection in my extended family, some who are Republican military Baptists.

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These queer parents were able to remarry or partner with individuals of their truer orientation, yet many remain under the radar. One friend was told by his lesbian mother that she didn’t want him to suffer the same way she had. The mere sentiment of that makes me horribly sad, but also blessed that things are a bit better for younger generations.

No matter how near or far, present or past, the history of our queer relatives extend to the larger struggles, reminding us to be grateful but also urging us to keep fighting to retain what safeties we have.

With anti-gay legislation looming and support for Brian Kemp for Georgia governor, queer history is in our voting hands. Hold close to your queer families, whether chosen or by family tree, and send your blessing through the past and onward ho into a better future.

Sunni Johnson is an Atlanta-based freelance writer.

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Q

10 QUEER THINGS

1973 The American Psychiatric Association voted to stop classifying homosexuality as a mental disorder in 1973, later removing it as a disorder from its diagnostic manual in 1987.

November 1950

The “pro-homosexual” gay group Mattachine Society was formed in Los Angeles. Through the ‘60s, they met to socialize and organize actions like “Sip Ins” at straight bars.

It Got

Better

10 great LGBTQ victories that changed modern American history

January 1958 The Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. Post Office must deliver America’s first widely distributed gay publication, ONE: The Homosexual Magazine, which it had refused to do.

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January 1975 The first marriages between gay couples took place in Boulder, Colo., when a clerk granted six marriage licenses before the state attorney general intervened and shut it down.

1979 The first of four historic LGBTQ marches on Washington drew an estimated 75,000 people to the National Mall to raise awareness for LGBTQ civil rights.

1977 Harvey Milk became one of the first openly gay people to be elected to public office in the U.S. and became a national figure.

1980 and 1992 Democrats took the first political stands for LGBTQ rights. Gay rights was added to the platform in the 1980 Democratic National Convention. In 1992, Bill Clinton became the first candidate to include the word “gay” in a nationally televised speech. In 2009, Barack Obama became the first sitting president to acknowledge LGBTQ rights in a State of the Union address.

October 2009 Some 20 years after their violent bias-motivated deaths, the Matthew Shepard & James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act became law.

2010 & 2015

2000, 2004, 2013, 2015 First, Vermont became the first state to legalize civil unions for gay couples. Then in 2004, Massachusetts legalized full marriage rights for same-sex couples. In June 2013, the Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act, and in June 2015, the same court declared marriage equality a constitutional right.

The U.S. Senate voted to overturn “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in December 2010, allowing gay people to serve openly in the military.

President Obama officially revoked the statute in September 2011. In June 2015, sexual orienatation was added to the military’s non-discrimination policy, and the next month, U.S. Defense Secretary Ashton Carter announced that the military would lift a ban that prevented transgender Americans from serving openly. theQatl.com

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A SORDID THREE RING

starring Leslie Jordan, Del Shores, and Ann Walker

Saturday, August 25, 2018 VIP Reception: 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. • Show 8:00 p.m.

Centerstage, 1374 West Peachtree St, NW Atlanta, GA 30309

A BENEFIT FOR

SPONSORED BY

12

theQatl.com

Purchase tickets online: centerstage-atlanta.com

NEW Q

Justice

Koontz isn’t alone in her fight to get comprehensive protections for LGBTQ people in municipalities across metro Atlanta.

Transgender elected official works to make metro Atlanta an LGBTQ safe space

Graham said convincing elected officials that it can be done has been a hurdle.

FOR ALL

By Patrick Saunders STEPHE KOONTZ IS SPEARHEADING AN EFFORT to convince municipalities across metro Atlanta to pass a sweeping nondiscrimination ordinance to protect LGBTQ people.

The policy would prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in private employment, housing and public accommodations. The city of Atlanta is the only municipality in the state to have such protections.

She’s been working with Georgia Equality Executive Director Jeff Graham and Cathy Woolard, the former mayoral candidate who does consulting work for the group. Woolard was instrumental in Atlanta’s nondiscrimination ordinance when she served as City Council president.

“That has been the first and biggest barrier that we’ve had to date is the mistaken belief by some elected officials — and I would say the information they are getting sometimes from their legal advisors — that they can’t actually pass broad ordinances like this in Georgia with the way the state is structured,” Graham said.

“We’ve been trying to break through that noise for years to not have those efforts just shut down immediately.”

The transgender Doraville City Council member has been crafting a similar policy for her DeKalb County city with plans to then take that model to other similarly-sized cities in metro Atlanta and convince them to adopt it.

“My goal is to try to come up with a two to three-page ordinance that’s a compact, standalone thing that can be just dropped into a city’s municipal code that doesn’t cause there to be changes to other parts of the code to activate it,” Koontz told Project Q Atlanta.

She said the ordinance would allow people who claim they’ve been discriminated against to file a complaint with the city. A hearing officer would investigate the merit of the complaint, and from there either the hearing officer or the municipal court will decide if a fine is required.

“We’re still trying to figure out legally which fork in the road it should take. We’re still drafting on it,” Koontz said.

The tentative plan is for there to be a $500 fine for the first offense with escalating fines for repeat offenses, capping off at $2,000 per offense. Extreme repeat offenders could even lose their business licenses.

“This is not saying that your neighbor can have a discrimination complaint filed against him for yelling something out of his car window. John Q. Public can still be a jerk,” Koontz said. “But what we’re addressing is that if you’re a business owner or any entity that requires a business license or occupational tax permit to operate in the city, that by doing that you are agreeing to follow the city’s Ordinances and codes.”

Koontz is finishing a draft of the ordinance that she plans to present during a Doraville City Council work session in September. She’s received positive responses from officials in Clarkston, Stone Mountain, Avondale Estates and Decatur, and said it’s “very possible” that Smyrna, Chamblee, Tucker, Brookhaven, Dunwoody and Duluth could come on board.

Graham credits Koontz for spearheading the push, calling it “her brainchild.”

“One of the things that is so dynamic about her as a person is that she is very active in going to meetings and meeting with other elected officials and working in a regional and even statewide basis,” he said.

Graham said Georgia Equality research found municipalities were much more likely to adopt such policies if other jurisdictions near them did the same.

“It becomes a bit of a domino effect. Once you pick up enough municipalities that have acted on it, then other municipalities are going to act on it on their own,” he said.

Graham said Koontz’s efforts could also have an effect on the group’s goal of Georgia lawmakers adopting an LGBTQ-inclusive nondiscrimination policy for the state.

Currently, 65 municipalities in Georgia have nondiscrimination ordinances protecting public employees on the basis of sexual orientation. Some 19 municipalities also protect public employees on the basis of gender identity.

Q’s homesite Project Q Atlanta posts fresh LGBTQ news daily at theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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Q

COMMUNITY

Two queer Atlanta artists drown off Tybee Island

By Patrick Saunders FRIENDS ARE MOURNING THE DEATHS OF MONTELL “MonteQarlo” Newton and Kiwan Benson, two LGBTQ Atlanta artists and musicians who drowned off Tybee Island on Aug. 13.

After Newton, 24, and Benson, 31, were reported missing near the south end of the island, Tybee Island Fire/Rescue, the U.S. Coast Guard, Georgia Department of Natural Resources and Chatham County authorities searched for them for two days until their bodies were found on Aug. 15, authorities said.

Gay Atlanta musician Corey Pope was a friend of both, and he said the pair were “almost twins.”

“When you saw one, you were bound to see the other,” Pope told Project Q Atlanta. “Kiwan is the only person that called Monte by his real name (Montell). They had a tight bond and a mutual respect for each other. I really admired that about them.”

Newton was known as MonteQarlo, a queer artist and musician, as well as an organizer for Southern Fried Queer Pride.

The Detroit native also recently performed under the name Scenario Joanz.

Pope called Newton “a sweet soul.”

“They would literally give the shirt they had on if you asked them for it,” Pope said. “They, like Kiwan, were very big on community and creating spaces for POC (people of color), trans, LGBTQ artists and people to come and be themselves around others just like them.”

Newton created the QTPOC underground party Clutch. They

Atlanta landscaper denies service to gay couple for being ‘perverse’

By Patrick Saunders THE OWNER OF AN ATLANTA LANDSCAPE DESIGN business refused to serve a gay Sandy Springs couple because he believed their marriage was “perverse and foolish” and a “delusion.”

A review of the business from a “Colton S.” was posted on Botanica Atlanta’s official Yelp page in July.

“Contacted today about a very large project in Sandy Springs,” wrote Colton S. “The owner asked if the work was for me and my wife, I said no me and my husband and he 14

theQatl.com

Montell ‘MonteQarlo’ Newton

Kiwan Benson

told Q magazine last year, “Essentially, I just wanna present queer folks, especially those of color, in a way that accurately represents the diverse pool of talent in the community.” They were also a regular performer at the Sweet Tea variety show and performed at the Atlanta Pride festival last year.

“What made Monte special was their authenticity,” Pope said.

“A truly genuine and sweet person who loved being an artist and helping people.”

Benson was a queer artist and musician who was a member of the band the African Space Program Collective.

“Kiwan was a very sweet guy,” Pope said. “He was about community. He was very big on helping his fellow struggling artists — especially us black ones. He shared everything with you, his life was an open book and I really loved that about him.”

At press time, remembrances were planned during a previously planned event at Murmur Gallery, and a celebration of both lives was set for Aug. 18 as a fundraiser for their families. replied that he wouldn’t be interested in working with us.”

Botanica Atlanta owner Stuart DiNenno then weighed in. “ Yes, this is an accurate description of what happened. When doing a large landscaping project, it is necessary to work with the homeowners closely over several months through the design and installation phases. I can’t do that, all the while going along with the delusion of two men calling themselves a married couple, with one man referring to the other man as his husband. It’s very perverse and foolish, and needs to be called out as such.”

It is illegal in the city of Atlanta to deny services to someone because of their sexual orientation or gender identity, but it’s the only municipality in the state with such protections.

Visit Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com for daily LGBTQ news updates.

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THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

Glamorous

August 23 - August 29

The international, sexy black-

and-gold party hits town with

THURSDAY, AUG. 23

DJ Barney Philly @ Heretic,

Queer RJ Game Night

10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

Play games and learn about reproductive justice with Atlanta Pride, Access Reproductive Care - Southeast and Spark Reproductive

Blackout Party

Justice @ Rush Center, 6 p.m. atlantapride.org

DJ Daniel Weaver turns

out the lights, billows in

FRIDAY, AUG. 24

the fog, and pumps up dark

Fourth Friday Networking

beats @ Atlanta Eagle, 10 p.m.

Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of

atlantaeagle.com

Commerce hosts its monthly happy hour @

InterContinental Buckhead Hotel, 5:30 p.m.

SATURDAY, AUG. 25 & SUNDAY, AUG. 26

atlantagaychamber.org

FRIDAY, AUG. 24 – SATURDAY, AUG. 25 Weavestock

This scripted “Haus Party” play from Southern Fried Queer Pride

SATURDAY, AUG. 25 A Sordid Three Ring Circus The answer to what you get when you mix Del Shores, Leslie Jordan (pictured) and their Sordid Lives cohort Ann Walker. It benefits Positive Impact Health Centers @ Center Stage, 8 p.m. positiveimpacthealthcenters.org

features perfor-

mances by a black

drag cast @ Out Front Theatre,

7:30 p.m. southernfriedqueerpride.com

SATURDAY, AUG. 25

Chorus Auditions

Gay, transgender, and

straight-allied men of all

ethnicities are invited to try

out for Atlanta Gay Men’s Chorus

by appointment. 10 a.m. Saturday and 1 p.m.

Sunday. Set your time via Brandon.Bush@ voicesofnote.org.

WEDNESDAY, AUG. 29 Battle to the Deathdrop

Lost N Found

NFFLA Margarita Bust

Youth benefits

gears up for its fall season with bottomless

battles by teams

National Flag Football League of Atlanta

from lip sync

margs @ Zocalo, 4 p.m. nffla.com

assembled by drag king Mystery

Meat and queen Xt Venus Valentine

@ Mary’s, 10 p.m. marysatlanta.com, lnfy.org Find even more LGBTQ events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com.

Becoming a Man in 127 Easy Steps

Atlanta native, actor and trans pioneer Scott Turner Schofield returns to film his wildly popular play to become a movie. Ticket sales help

finance the film @ 7 Stages, 7 p.m. 7stages.org, facebook.com/127steps.

Read our interview in this issue of Q. Sinister Wisdom

Celebrate the fourth issue of this anthology

on Southern lesbian organizing. This edition

SATURDAY, AUG. 25 Queen Bey Afterparty The first of two nights Beyonce and Jay-Z play Atlanta, Queerly Beloved Revue keeps the vibe going @ My Sister’s Room, 11:30 p.m. mysistersroom.com

focuses on gathering places @ Charis Books &More, 7:30 pm. charisbooksandmore.com

theQatl.com

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Q

PEOPLE

His W

By Mike Fleming

STORIES

hen Atlanta’s own Scott Turner Schofield first staged his groundbreaking one-man show Becoming a Man in 127 Easy Steps in 2008, he didn’t really have 127 stories. Now the actor, writer and trans pioneer does have that many and more, and he’s filming the best of them in front of live audiences back where it all began, at 7 Stages.

“The stories you’ll see at 7 Stages are the ones audiences all over the world have loved the most over 10 years — like a ‘Greatest Hits,’” he tells Q. “They’re vetted, they’re polished — my absolute best work. They’re directed for film this time, too, and the movie set gives them a whole different look and feel.”

For the uninitiated, Schofield’s show chronicles his transition as a trans man and has become a bona fide phenomenon for handling the subject matter in an approachable way. “[The show] is known for being the friendliest and most accessible show for people — trans or not — who are new to the transgender topic and want to get to the heart and soul, past the genitals and hormones,” Schofield says. “Each night will be a different set of stories about how I became a man, covering everything from being forced to wear a dress, to one of those ‘accidental homosexual experiences’ they say every man has, to meeting the partner of my dreams. We’ll be taping the live show, so folks will get to see how that showbiz happens, too.”

Schofield has also been well received for his plays including Underground TRANSit and Debutante Balls. He has toured with trans male Georgia troupe Athens Boys Choir, published books and essays, and done theater across the country and around the world. As prolific as it sounds, that’s not the half of Schofield’s work, which also includes becoming the first transgender actor in a major soap role as Nick on The Bold and The Beautiful.

Tickets to the filming of 127 Steps, set for August 25, go toward making the movie a reality. We asked him to let us in on the local return of the show and his life since “becoming a man.”

What does it mean to you to bring Becoming a Man in 127 Easy Steps back to Atlanta?

I chose to film the show here — we could’ve done it at a studio in Hollywood — but I want the world to see what a

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theQatl.com

Actor, writer, pioneer Scott Turner Schofield becomes a man in Atlanta. Again.

special thing we have going on in Atlanta. Our community’s magic is part of who I am — it has to be part of this show!

How would you view the “State of Trans America” with you and others making strides being “out” in the public eye?

Real talk, with love: Gays and lesbians in surprising numbers are super conflicted about supporting transgender people, while straight people are way more supportive than ever before.

Just like with marriage equality, we need a majority who stand for our human rights in order to get them. So I hold out hope that my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters will remember what it was like for them 20 years ago, and why we need them to be our allies now. Then we will see some real change.

How do you expect the film to add to the public discourse/ greater good?

All the really famous trans people, all the famous stories about us, are about trans women. Which is wonderful! And, also, trans men need to be seen and embraced.

127 is a proven, artistically excellent cultural contribution, so I hope that it will bust through this transmasculine invisibility cloak and be there as a positive and powerful resource for all the guys who want it, for their friends and families who need it, and for the culture at large to be both entertained and enlightened by it — the way so many audiences have been already.

Anything else you’d like to say to queer Atlanta?

Coming to see these shows isn’t “just going to a play.”

Showing up to this live filming will show the world that a lot of people believe transgender — and specifically trans men’s — stories matter. We need this right now. So you get to be entertained, but you’re also doing something that will be supportive to everyone who watches the film long into the future.

Becoming a Man in 127 Easy Steps stages (and films!) on Aug. 25 at 7 Stages. 7stages.org. Tickets are fundraisers for the film, but if seats are open, no one will be turned away for inability to pay.

theQatl.com

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Sasha Stephens

Rolonda Flor

Baby D GaLore

THE FUN CONTINUES ALL WEEK LONG! MONDAYS

FRIDAYS

Moonlight Bingo

Fresh Fish Friday Drag

8 p.m.

Movie on the Patio Bar

8-10 p.m.

Hosted by Trashetta GaLore & Autumn Skyy

TUESDAYS

7 p.m.

Moonlight Cabaret

Karaoke

Hosted by Shavonna B. Brooks & Raquel Lord Feat. Tristan Hartman Panucci & Niesha Dupree

Hosted by Angelica D’Paige Brooks

10 p.m.

11 p.m.

WEDNESDAYS

SATURDAYS

Whatcha Singing Wednesday

Hosted by Ron Scoza, Baby D GaLore & DJ Weston

10 p.m.

THURSDAYS

TNT Talent Night Hosted by Destiny Brooks

9 p.m.

Latin Night

Hosted by Alexia G. Markova, Alissah Brooks and Destiny Brooks • Featuring DJ Maye

Drag Show: 11 p.m.

Dance: Midnight-Close

The Moonlight Starlets Hosted by Misti Shores

8 p.m.

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Sunday Brunch Noon -3 p.m.

Dinner 4-8 p.m.

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SUNDAYS

Eggstravaganza

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Brunch: Noon - 3 p.m.

Show: 1 p.m.

Q

YESTERQUEERS

Face V 22

theQatl.com

Value

Vintage photos show love is love and gender is fluid, whatever the era

Compiled by Mike Fleming

L

ooking back helps us look forward, and earning your Gay Card necessarily includes learning LGBTQ history. But all the pop culture trivia and historic milestone tidbits in words can’t tell queer personal stories quite like a single vintage photograph.

An increasing number of books, sites and queer academics are collecting these images for posterity, and we find ourselves mesmerized by the results like no other medium reflecting our LGBTQ past.

The more things change, the more some LGBTQ stories stay the same, and its written all over the faces on the following pages.  Sources: HomoHistory.com, ONE National Gay and Lesbian Archives, The Archives of Human Sexuality and Identity, The Invisibles theQatl.com

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YESTERQUEERS, Continued

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Fresh content served daily

FANTASY GIRLS AT TEN

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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DJ JOE G. BIRTHDAY TEA PARTY AT MIDTOWN TAVERN

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

WE ARE NO LONGER INVISIBLE @ CIVIL RIGHTS CENTER

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

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Q

THEQ?!

Letting GO Stalkers and exes learn to move on and leave those affections in the past

Q

I’m into the wrong person. A few years ago, we met and went out a few times. We hooked up and hung out a few times after that. Now they keep bailing on me.

They respond when I initiate contact, but they never contact me on their own. It’s always the same thing: We agree to meet. They back out at the last minute or stand me up. I cry and go off on voicemail or text, and they ignore me. Days later, I feel bad for freaking out and have to be the one to apologize.

Recently after I was stood up, I’d had enough. I went over there after midnight to make a scene, and it was, well, bad. I know it was wrong, but I’m sick of the mixed messages. I can’t break this hold this person has on me. How can I make them stop leading me on?

Dear Stalker: You know that saying, “It’s not you, it’s me”? Well in this case it’s you, and that can be a hard thing to accept.

What you are doing is unhealthy for you and damaging to the other person. What you call mixed messages from them sound more like lame attempts to de-escalate the situation. They’re not leading you on. They’re trying — if haphazardly — to manage and appease your emotions so that it doesn’t turn into into something more scary and dangerous.

Their actions are telling you all you need to know, so listen carefully: You haven’t gone out or hooked up in years. You are not even exes. They are ignoring your frantic texts after standing you up repeatedly.

They aren’t going to wake up tomorrow, or ever, and realize you should be together. Period.

It’s good you acknowledge the pattern of behavior on both sides, because you should repeat the details to a professional who can really help. You are obsessed, and you can treat this like any addiction.

Start by accepting that you’ve wasted years and immeasurable emotional energy on this person. You might also try confiding in trusted friends to hold you accountable. Have them check in and ask you how it’s going as you go through recovery.

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If you don’t have anyone like that, maybe check out a Reddit group called “No Contact.” Members there support each other in going cold-turkey from exes and other objects of affection they shouldn’t ever see.

There is no easy or quick solution to any addiction, so commit to a long-term solution sooner rather than later.

Q

My ex was a total asshole, but I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s been a year since I made a clean break and got away from her lies and emotional abuse, but for some reason part of me still longs for her.

I’m talking to a great new woman now, but I can’t focus completely because this nagging voice won’t let my ex go. I know I should ignore it, but I can’t.

Dear Move On: There’s no such thing as a clean break. Just because you know you “should” look ahead, it’s not always easy. Acknowledge unresolved issues from the relationship, and allow yourself to work through the emotions. Grieve. Where there’s closure, there’ll be peace.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling.

Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

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