Q magazine | August 30, 2018

Page 1

Q

Labor Day’s LAST SPLASH August 30, 2018

inform | inspire

Say It

LOUD Black and Proud LGBTQ Events Across Atlanta This Weekend

Black Gay Pride As A POLITICAL ACTION 10 Q ueer Years at PROJECT Q ATLANTA When Party Favors Move PAST ESCAPE, INTO EXCESS

+

The Queer Agenda Q News The Q Q Shots

The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta



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Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE ALEXANDRA TYLER NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

Living

EDITOR’S NOTE Q

OUT LOUD

You doing you is critical to our queer Atlanta mission

UNABASHED. UNASHAMED. UNAPOLOGETIC. It is sometimes with boldness and gall that LGBTQ Atlantans have claimed our place in local history, and it’s as easy as living our lives for the world to see. Our prime directive at Q is to celebrate and amplify all you beautiful creatures doing just that in queer Atlanta, and this week brings more gorgeous examples to the fore for Labor Day Weekend. Of course that includes the 22nd annual Black Gay Pride Weekend. What started as a backyard barbecue of LGBTQ African-Americans in 1996 has become one of the largest events series of its MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER kind in the world. Our Party Preview takes you from day to night and from Thursday through Monday with more than two-dozen opportunities to show your pride and celebrate the intersectionality of civil rights movements. Q contributor Eric Paulk puts it into perspective in Q Voices. He poetically weaves together the history of black queer Atlanta with the politics of Pride to highlight that just the simple act of celebrating can be a powerful statement. Speaking of powerful statements, if of a totally different kind, the alternaqueer cool kids at Mary’s are playing dress up again, only this time it’s for us and one of our contributing shutterbugs Jon Dean in the Seasons photo feature. In their typical loud and proud style, the staff and owners of East Atlanta’s queer bar show off beach looks as only they can interpret them to help you say so long to summer. Showing off elsewhere in the mag this week, find Q Shots from recent events, the Queer Agenda of Labor Day Week happenings, and a special edition of 10 Queer Things. In the latter, our home site Project Q Atlanta celebrates its decade anniversary with a look back at 10 of the site’s most popular posts. And The Q advice column takes on a special edition this week as well, tackling the topic of how to help a friend who’s stepped beyond indulgence and into danger with drugs. No one is asking for special rights with all this living out loud, but we do think the local community is an awfully special bunch just the same. If you have ideas for people or groups that you think we should profile, drop me a line at mike@theQatl.com. theQatl.com

5


FESTIVAL PROGRAMMING Yoga & Live Music, Car & Motorcyle Show - Lambda Car Club Comedy Showcase, AIDS Memorial Quilt, Poetry Slam, Sobriety Meetup Youth Liberation Space, Trans March, Dyke March, Shooting Stars Cabaret, Queer Your Gender Dance Party, Outworlders Gaymer Space, 18th Annual Atlanta Pride Brunch, Gray Pride, Family Fun Zone SWEET TEA: A Queer Variety Show, Starlight Cabaret FOR A FULL SCHEDULE AND TO LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR PARTNERS PLEASE VISIT ATLANTAPRIDE.ORG.

OCTOBER12-14,2018 atlantapride.org


INSIDE THIS ISSUE

VOLUME 1 ISSUE 40 AUGUST 30, 2018

SEASONS Last Splash

COVER

12 17

Out Proud

Black Gay Pride events 10 QUEER THINGS

13 10

Queer Years

30 Vixen Love

A decade of Project Q coverage THE QUEER AGENDA

15

To Do List

32 Iconography

Labor Day Week in the LGBTQ-ATL

FEATURES Q Voices

8

The Queer Agenda

15

Q Shots

29

The Q

38

38

34 Rucks & Maul theQatl.com

7


Q

Q VOICES

Pride is

between two movements. The LGBTQ rights movement,

POLITICAL

Why celebrating Black Gay Pride in itself is activism DURING THE SUMMER OF 1986, THE NATIONAL Coalition of Black Lesbians & Gays released the first edi-

tion of Black/Out, a quarterly newspaper by founding editor Joseph Beam. In this first edition, noted black feminist

Barbara Smith discusses being in community with other black LGBTQ folks.

though largely birthed by black and brown trans folks at

the Stonewall Inn and other actions, was essentially a white movement that failed to embrace us.

‘Every time we make the active choice to place shame, fear and rejection on the back burner and live openly as LGBTQ people, we are taking a radical stance.’ And while the gay white movement mostly omitted black

trans lives, the black civil rights movement was also slow to

add gender and sexual politics to its agenda. While there were progressive leaders like Maynard Jackson, the first black may-

or of Atlanta, who believed that people should have basic civil

“My perceptions about race are not something I have to explain to activist Black gay men, nor do I need to de-

rights, including LGBTQ people, the need for a space that

was both black and queer was, and continues to be, critical.

lineate the challenge of being queer in

In 2018, black people are still systematically

the Black community. I also don’t have to

limited in our ability to live, move, gather and

explain the talk I talk, why I cannot get

participate fully in our democracy and our

into white women’s music, why I do not call

economy. For example, in the past few months

Black persons past a certain age by their

alone, there have been a number of incidents

first names, or why I am so worried about

that exploded onto social media and made

national headlines of police being called on

our youth. It’s all understood. We share

language, culture, values, the African genius, family ties — in short we share Blackness.”

ERIC PA U L K

That’s exactly what Black Pride feels like to me

daily lives in myriad places including the dorm, sitting in Starbucks, and leaving an Airbnb.

— safe harbor in a world where there are few spaces that feel

I cannot imagine Atlanta, during that first picnic in 1996, be-

tion or validation. In Atlanta, we pay homage to those folks

were also living openly as members of the LGBTQ community.

safe and where black queer folks can exist without explanawho first gathered for a picnic in 1996 over Labor Day Weekend.

As they were laying the groundwork for what would become Black Gay Pride in Atlanta, they were doing much more

than convening a get-together, but demonstrating an act of

political defiance. They recognized that our love is an act of

ing an any kinder place for black people, especially those who Suffice it to say, they were brave. Even today, every time we make the active choice to place

shame, fear and rejection on the back burner and live openly

as LGBTQ people, we are taking a radical stance. In doing so, we pay homage to those who stood in the gap before us.

political resistance.

So this Black Gay Pride, remember that just by being here, we

I wonder if they knew then the importance of their decision?

tion that a space must exist for all of our identities.

As the LGBTQ rights movement took shape in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s, black queer people found themselves wedged 8

black people who were just going about their

theQatl.com

celebrate our survival, and we demonstrate to a new generaEric Paulk is an advocate working at the intersections of race, class, and sexuality. Follow him on Twitter @ EricPaulk.



Q

Q

10 QUEER THINGS

10

Project Q Atlanta turns 10 with comprehensive coverage of LGBTQ Atlanta

ueer Years

Here’s a sampling of the most popular posts on Atlanta’s home site for queer news, photos, events and buzz from the decade since Project Q Atlanta launched on Sept. 1, 2008.

Atlanta Police accused of harassment during Eagle raid Eddie Long tries, fails to put gay sex scandal behind him

A 2010 scandal enveloped the Atlanta mega-church pastor when five men accused him of coercing them into sex. Years of trials, denials and book deals were ongoing until Long’s death in 2016.

Gay Atlanta takes marriage rally to the streets

A national flood of emotion over the June 26, 2015 Supreme Court ruling to legalize marriage for gay couples turned into a local flood of partiers in Midtown. 10

theQatl.com

On Sept. 10, 2009, five years of Project Q coverage began when eight people were arrested at the Atlanta Eagle. Ultimately vindicated in court, the incident sparked mass LGBTQ protests, firings and sweeping new policies at Atlanta Police Department.

Popular Atlanta performer found dead

Transgender performer Lateasha Shuntel was found dead in November 2015. Her passing erupted into an outpouring of community emotion. Two years later, Project Q was there when a woman was found guilty of illegally injecting Shuntel with silicone that made its way into her bloodstream.


Activists confront Sharon Needles in Atlanta

Project Q was there for a sitdown meeting called by RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Sharon Needles in June 2012 to dialogue with LGBTQ Atlanta detractors of racial imagery in her act and use of the N-word. It got heated as Atlanta prepared for a Needles appearance and possible protest.

Atlanta police arrest Baton Bob

Sassy drag street performer Baton Bob took to Midtown streets in a wedding ensemble to celebrate the Supreme Court revoking the Defense of Marriage Act in June 2013. During his oneman march, he had a scuffle with Colony Square security that escalated when Atlanta police responded, leading to his arrest.

Burkhart’s closes in wake of racist social media controversy

Ria Pell’s 11 best moments on ‘Chopped’ The lesbian chef and founder of Ria’s Bluebird took down a church lady from New Orleans, a cocky guy who chases ghosts and some dude who nearly chopped off his finger on an episode of Food Network’s Chopped in Nov. 2012. It was one of many public successes for Pell, who died with a huge outpouring of grief a year later.

After weeks of controversy over racist social media posts, Burkhart’s closed its doors for good in February 2018 and ended a decades-long run as a popular Midtown gay and drag bar. Midtown Moon officially opened in its place in May under the same owners as Oscar’s Atlanta.

Watch Nathan Deal explain why he vetoed HB 757

Gov. Nathan on Monday vetoed a controversial “religious freedom” bill after delivering a nearly nine-minute statement during a news conference in March 2016. Watch his full statement.

Q

Find fresh LGBTQ Atlanta content daily at theQatl.com.

Atlanta mourns victims of Pulse massacre in Orlando

Hundreds of LGBTQ Atlantans commemorated the victims of the gay nightclub massacre in Orlando in June 2016 with two vigils in Midtown, including one so large that it prompted the closure of a portion of 10th Street. theQatl.com

11


Q

EVENTS

Reverence

MONDAY, SEPT. 3

& REVELRY

By Mike Fleming

Buckhead. InTheLifeAtlanta.com.

BLACK GAY PRIDE IN ATLANTA TURNS

Not to be outdone, party plans at events under the online umbrella AtlantaBlackPrideWeekend.com include the annual Pure Heat Festival in Piedmont Park on Sunday. Their host hotel for seminars and workshops is the Georgian Terrace.

22 with a packed schedule. As thousands flock to town over Labor Day Weekend, this year’s

calendar sees the return of popular events, the launch of new ones, and as always, the attendance of some big-name celebrities.

In The Life Atlanta turns up the heat on ac-

tivities this year at host hotel Atlanta Marriott THURSDAY, AUG. 30

SATURDAY, SEPT. 1

VIP Welcome Reception Georgian Terrace Hotel, 9 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

Pride Marketplace Marriott Buckhead, all day inthelifeatl.org

atlantaprideweekend.com

Pride Health Expo Marriott Buckhead, all day inthelifeatl.org

StripHer & Pretty Girl Hideout Suite Lounge, 10 p.m.

FRIDAY, AUG. 31 Pride Marketplace Marriott Buckhead, all day inthelifeatl.org

History of Black Gay Atlanta & Opening Ceremonies Marriott Buckhead, all day inthelifeatl.org

Naked Hustle Women’s Day Party Magic City, 3 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com Pre-Game Mixer for Men Georgian Terrace, 5 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

Queen Sheba Comedy Show Georgian Terrace, 7 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

100 Men Strong Dinner & Mixer Georgian Terrace, 7 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com Southern Comfort Party Marriott Buckhead, 7 p.m. inthelifeatl.org

MEGA Live Ladies Lounge Truth Lounge, 10 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

Grown Folks Women’s Party 25+ with Bombshell Boogie 241 Edgewood, 10 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

SpeakFire Erotic Poetry Marriott Buckhead, 10:30 p.m. inthelifeatl.org 12

Here are the best bets from both, plus a few more one-off parties and special events that your favorite bars are hosting.

theQatl.com

SUNDAY, SEPT. 2

Pure: All White Party Truth Lounge, 10 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

MORE EVENTS Labor Day Rock Events rockstarsproduction.com Wassup N ATL abp2018.eventbrite.com

Midtown Moon facebook.com/midtownmoon

Men’s Ultimate Day Party Georgian Terrace, 5 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

Saturday Night Live Men’s Party Georgian Terrace, 10 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

TraxxGirls Strip Club Onyx, 10 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

Bulldogs Bar facebook.com/bulldogsbaratlanta

Black Gay Pride Film Festival Marriott Buckhead inthelifeatl.org

TraxxGirls Big Bang Westside Cultural Arts Center, 10 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

Some Like It Hot for Women Alibi Rooftop, 5 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

My Sister’s Room mysistersroom.com

WetHer Block Party Opera Atlanta, 3 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

All White Party 595 North Ave., 10 p.m. inthelifeatl.org

Barbecue Day Party for Men Georgian Terrace, 4 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

Atlanta Eagle atlantaeagle.com

LGBT Greek Brunch & Expo Denard Conference Center, 12 noon inthelifeatl.org

Literary Cafe Marriott Buckhead, all day inthelifeatl.org

I Am, Aftermath Candler Events Center inthelifeatl.org

Men Who Brunch Georgian Terrace, 12 noon atlantaprideweekend.com Black Gay Pride Fashion Show Marriott Buckhead inthelifeatl.org Soul Food Poetry Slam Georgian Terrace, 12 noon atlantaprideweekend.com Culture Club Day Party 421 Edgewood, 5 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com

LGBT Greeks in the Park Candler Park, 12 noon inthelifeatl.org

White Party Marriott Buckhead inthelifeatl.org

Pure Heat Community Festival Piedmont Park, 12 noon. atlantaprideweekend.com

Celebrity Showtime Tongue & Groove, 10 p.m. atlantaprideweekend.com




Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

FRIDAY, AUG. 31

August 30 - September 5

Michelle Malone

The lesbian blues rocker puts on a hometown show behind her new

album Slings & Arrows @ Vista Room,

8 p.m. michellemalone.com

SATURDAY, SEPT. 1 Bear Invasion

DJ Deanne pumps the beats for beasty boys @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

THURSDAY, AUG. 30 – MONDAY, SEPT. 3

SUNDAY, SEPT. 2

Black Gay Pride

Hussy

American and LGBTQ returns with options for both reverence and

Banks, Maya Wiseman (pho-

a health expo, a film festival, a fashion show,

more turn out an “extreme

One of the country’s largest celebrations at the intersection of African

Performers including Jaybella

revelry. Official In The Life Atlanta events include a daily marketplace,

to), Paege Turner and many

two brunches, a White Party and

sports” edition of this popular

a Greeks in the Park picnic at Candler Park. inthelifeatl.org

Other events include dozens of parties every day and the annual Pure Heat Festival in Piedmont Park on

Sunday via atlantapride-

weekend.com Check out our preview in this issue of Q.

THURSDAY, AUG. 30 – MONDAY, SEPT. 3 Dragon*Con

The annual sci-fi/fantasy/cosplay convention

loves its queers, and LGBTQ fan groups

make the most of it. Events for the self-titled

“Queerios” include this year’s Spectrum

Rainbow Flag Party @ Hilton Grand West, 10 p.m. dragoncon.org,

facebook.com/groups/dcqueerios,

facebook.com/groups/outworlders

show @ Kweer House,

131 Scruggs Ct. NE,

8 p.m. facebook.com/ paege.turner.5

DJ Dani Toro

The all-weekend party

doesn’t let up when everyone officially has Monday off. DJ Dani Toro

keeps it going @ Heretic,

10

p.m. hereticatlanta.com

MONDAY, SEPT. 3 & TUESDAY, SEPT. 4

At the Wake of a Dead Drag Queen

FRIDAY, AUG. 31 – SUNDAY, SEPT. 2 Decatur Book Festival

Renowned Tales of the City author Armistead Maupin is one of the many LGBTQ special guests, and the documentary on his life

co-sponsored by Out on Film is among the events, during the annual

literary fandango @ Decatur Square, all weekend. decaturbookfestival.com

The Spectrum Lab series at Atlanta’s queer theater

launches with this project by Terry Guest about a young, black drag queen and her best friend @ Out Front Theatre Company, 8 p.m.

Find even more LGBTQ events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com.

theQatl.com

15


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SEASONS Q

The crew from Mary’s helps us say so long to summer

Josh What to expect at Mary’s: A bunch of silliness. In a good way. We dance and sing and pop comically large fans. We’re a laid-back crew, and our regulars really groove on that vibe. And I’m usually shirtless. I can’t dance, but I do know the Napoleon Dynamite talent show dance. Takes people to that 2004 place. Quote: “People don’t think it be like it is. But it do.”

Last

Splash

F

or scores of queers and for many years, the coming of Labor Day Weekend means one thing: Your last chance for a beach trip, pool run or so-ridiculous-color-tropical-sunglasses-floatie-shorts-pineapple-swimwear-don’t-care- look. In celebration of summer’s last splash, the crew from Mary’s dressed up in their interpretations. While they polish plans for Labor Day installments of the bar’s most popular parties ­— they were once voted among the best gay bars in the world — we talk to the owners and current staff about 20 years of the little rock-n-roll queer bar that could. 

Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com

Full interviews at theQatl.com.

theQatl.com

17


Q

SEASONS, Continued

Rae On Mary’s: Get drunk and hopefully leave with some of your dignity. His other favorite EAV spots: Flatiron, The Earl, The Basement Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com

Full interviews at theQatl.com. 18

theQatl.com


Chelsea Daggers On the Mary’s Glitz and other drag shows: Mary’s sets a standard for high concept drag. Our looks are paired with a story that conveys something. Quote: During the finale of Miss Glitz, I “vomited” fake film grade blood into the audience and promptly ruined a girl’s Anthropologie sweater. She called the health department who contacted Mary’s the next day. Needless to say I was proud. She was wearing Anthropologie, though, so I say she might have had it coming. Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com

Full interviews at theQatl.com.

theQatl.com

19



Shavon n

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Angelica D '

ge Brooks i a P

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. Brooks B a

ok Bro s

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THE FUN CONTINUES ALL WEEK LONG! MONDAYS

FRIDAYS (con’t.)

Musical Mondays

Moonlight Cabaret

with Out Front Theater Company Coming in September!

Hosted by Shavonna B. Brooks & Raquel Lord Feat. Tristan Hartman Panucci & Niesha Dupree, with special guest Alicia Kelly

TUESDAYS

11 p.m.

Karaoke

SATURDAYS

Hosted by Angelica D’Paige Brooks

The Moonlight Starlets

10 p.m.

Hosted by Misti Shores

WEDNESDAYS

8 p.m.

Whatcha Singing Wednesday

Hosted by Ron Scoza, Baby D GaLore & DJ Weston

10 p.m.

THURSDAYS

TNT Talent Night Hosted by Destiny Brooks

9 p.m.

FRIDAYS

Fresh Fish Friday Drag 8-10 p.m.

Movie on the Patio Bar 7 p.m.

Divas of the Moonlight Cabaret Kitchen Hours Mon-Sat 4-10 p.m. Sunday Brunch Noon -3 p.m. Dinner 4-8 p.m.

1492 Piedmont Ave NE Atlanta, GA 30309 404-343-6514

ALWAYS A PARTY BUT NEVER A COVER!

Hosted by Shavonna B. Brooks Featuring Raquel Rea Heart, Maya Ross Monroe and Evah Destruction, with special guest Alicia Kelly

you all eat n ca fet! buf

11 p.m.

SUNDAYS

Eggstravaganza

Hosted by Misti Shores & Niesha Dupree with special guest Trashetta GaLore

Brunch: Noon - 3 p.m. Show: 1 p.m.

The Armorettes 9-11 p.m.


Q

SEASONS, Continued

Matt What to expect at Mary’s: The beautiful thing about Mary’s is you never know what to expect, and you usually don’t get the expected. Quote: EAV is a very close knit community of freaks and weirdos and I love them all. Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com

Full interviews at theQatl.com.

22

theQatl.com


Eric On Mary’s: Come here to meet and see a lot of creatively diverse and talented people. Favorite Mary’s Memory: The first Halloween season after I started, I got to come to work dressed like a slasher for our Slumber Party Massacre. It was the first time I ever got to do something like that with a job, and it’s still probably the most fun I’ve ever had at work. Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com

Full interviews at theQatl.com.

theQatl.com

23


Q

SEASONS, Continued

Devon On Mary’s: Expect the unexpected Favorite Mary’s Memory: The night when paramedics showed up and brought a stretcher up the stairs in the middle of a drag show. Best part: They were at the wrong bar. Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com

Full interviews at theQatl.com.

Lindsey On Mary’s: Mary’s = Family Favorite Mary’s Memories: Clever performances, late-night ass shaking, late-night makeout sessions, and pissing my pants from laughing. Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com

Full interviews at theQatl.com.

24

theQatl.com


welcome black pride 2018 AUGUST 31 - SEPT 2 FRIDAY NIGHT DJ RON PULLMAN SATURDAY NIGHT DJ MOOSE SUNDAY NIGHT DJ TRACY LEVINE 10PM - 3AM

NO COVER

306 ponce de leon ave, ne atlanta, ga 30308


Q

SEASONS, Continued

Ben Cheaves and Bill Overall Owners On Mary’s: You can usually expect to find yourself lost in good conversation with friends or a random stranger, maybe discover a new favorite song from one our DJs and more than likely find yourself with a doozy of a hangover if the night goes right. Favorite Mary’s Memories: Customers go-go dancing on the bar for charity, a guy in a jock dancing to “Fuck tha Police” by NWA… Another special night was when Obama got elected in 2008, and the entire village turned into a party. Grown men were joyfully weeping, girls were dancing topless. It felt like a scene from a 1920s movie with champagne and flappers. Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com

Full interviews at theQatl.com.

CJ Mary-oke Host On Mary’s: I have worked at Mary’s for 19 years. Our customers can expect lots of humor and good music. Favorite Memory: When Shirley Franklin, before becoming mayor of Atlanta, came in and tried to sing. She had a realistic sense of humor about her voice. Photos by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com

Full interviews at theQatl.com. Mary’s is at 1287 Glenwood Ave SE, on Facebook, Instagram and at marysatlanta.com.

26

theQatl.com



TRIPRIDE WEEKEND Tricities Pride Parade and Festival Tricities, TN is organizing its first Pride Parade and Festival! Timberfell is pleased to be a sponsor in this important community event. We are offering a 15% discount on 2 night stays for this special weekend. Please make plans to stay with us and attend TriPride on Saturday, September 15. SPECIAL GUEST DJ iGuy

ALL MALE ALL NUDE ALL NIGHT

September 28-30, 2018 End of Summer Party Weekend Fall is upon us and time to enjoy the pool one more weekend before the frosts come!! SPECIAL GUEST DJ iGuy

upcoming

October 12-14, 2018

CocktoBEARfest Weekend 28

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MADONNA-RAMA AT MARY’S

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

29


Q

Q SHOTS

JUICY FRUITS WITH THE VIXEN AT HERETIC

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com 30

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD



Q

Q SHOTS

ICON: BRITNEY & CHRISTINA AT THE DEEP END

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

32

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD


Once a year, we want you to check out what our men are wearing.

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Q

Q SHOTS

RUGBY 101 WITH ATLANTA BUCKS

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD


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Q SHOTS

BEARRACUDA AT HERETIC

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Q

THEQ?! Party MONSTER When a friend’s drug use moves past indulgence and into excess

Q

I think my friend might be abusing drugs. Before I even get started, I’m going to come right out and say that I dabble recreationally, so I’m not judging partying with substances per se. At first, I just thought he was being weird or going through something that made him act differently. Several months ago, he started going manic on occasion, accusing good friends of talking behind his back. Not everybody is affected the same way by the same drugs, so I chalked it up to a little too much snuff in the snort. Lately, he upped the ante, and others in our group are noticing it too. He’s losing weight, and not in a good way. His eyes are sunken and dark, his skin is yellow, and his accusations have blown up into full-on thinking everyone is out to get him. He grinds his teeth obviously and constantly. Even when I don’t suspect he’s on it right in the moment, I do know all of these can be signs of prolonged meth use. But maybe it’s just some unknown emotional drama that has him not being himself? This is the first guy I met when I moved here, and I care about him, but I also know I don’t have much room to talk when it comes to indulging in party favors. Should I confront him?

Since you are close, I do think you can approach your friend, and I do think it may take more than one conversation. Ask if there’s anything he wants to talk about. Leave the signs you mention to your own observations, and leave your other friends out of it. If he thinks people are talking behind his back, you’d only be feeding his paranoia. Tell him you sense a possible problem and are concerned because he seems different. If he still avoids it, tell him you’re there for him if he changes his mind or anything comes up. This opens the door for him to come to you, and for you to circle back and broach it again a little later.

Your concern is probably more common than many of us like to talk about. Queers and meth are a well-documented duo.

If he’s not ready to confide in you, that doesn’t mean your friendship has to be over. The line between being supportive and pushy is a fine one, and it’s hard to navigate by its nature. Use your best instincts.

Remember that while we each choose whether to indulge in chemical escapism and risk the consequences as individuals, that doesn’t mean you can’t see the signs. In fact, you could be more qualified to tell if someone else is indulging, or if they take it further and lose their way.

Of course, you’re right that the symptoms you name could be signs of and addiction and abuse, so you have to be ready for that to be the issue. If your friend confides that this is his situation, or if you find direct evidence of such, encourage professional help. You can support him, but you can’t fix him.

Be careful, though. What if the signs you’re seeing mean that your friend’s health is at risk from an undiagnosed virus? What if he, as you hint, might be going through something that is stressing him out so much that he’s letting his self-care and appearance go?

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

Dear Worried:

38

As a friend, you can’t confront him about drugs if you don’t know it for a fact. If you do, you could cause damage with the assumption before you have a chance to help.

theQatl.com

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON




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