Q magazine v1i42 | September 13, 2018

Q inform | inspire

LGBTQ Atlanta’s FALL PREVIEW

September 13, 2018

Masc

What queer femmes know that others don’t

Mascara Queer Confession of a SUICIDAL CHILD Braves Organist Trolls ANTI-GAY PLAYER

Quick-Hit Advice for the NEEDY & RECKLESS

+

Q Shots The Q Queer Agenda

The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

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EDITOR’S NOTE Q

Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM

Out 4 ALL

Your brand of queer is great, until it comes at the expense of others, or even yourself

AS OUR REGULAR READERS KNOW by now, we here at Q magazine try to celebrate, nay magnify, every expression of every letter in the LGBTQIA alphabet.

And that goes for those butch butchies butching their butchness all over Butchtown. Be they male, female or non-binary, expressions of masculinity are all good — until they’re not.

This week’s Q opens the dialogue on an issue that quickly becomes a multi-faceted can of worms.

There’s masc, and then there’s toxic masculinity. It becomes poison when it’s presented as superior to femininity, and when other expressions of gender are ridiculed, subjugated or even suppressed within ourselves.

ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

What’s more, there are plenty of awesome things that people miss who wield bigoted masc4masc culture as a weapon. We delve into some of them in this week’s 10 Queer Things.

But the root of toxic masculinity certainly isn’t in queer culture. It starts in the anti-queer, sexist, heteronormative culture that we grow up in. Like the LGBTQ version, the mainstream patriarchal structure is struggling to right itself. It’s dangerous, and it begins indoctrinating all of us at the earliest of ages.

It’s enough to drive queer- or differently-identified kids to suicide. The recent case of Jamel Myles, the 9-year-old Denver boy who took his own life rather than face more anti-gay bullying, brought it all into perspective for columnist Ian Aber. He recounts his own childhood suicide attempt as a queer kid in this week’s Q Voices.

The challenges are tough enough without subjecting ourselves to unnecessary standards. We must allow every expression to fly free as each person sees fit, and we must celebrate every aspect of our culture. That’s what makes fall in Atlanta so magical. Our Fall Events Preview includes gatherings large, small, old and new, as well as of course the biggest of them all.

Atlanta Pride and Out on Film are coming, and we begin whetting our appetites this week. Our Fall Photo Feature supplements the events preview with pics of all the love that will flow for every color in the rainbow this season.

We wrap the week with advice in The Q, our Q Shots galleries, Q News from Project Q Atlanta, and the weekly Queer Agenda calendar. Reach out with your own ideas any time by writing mike@theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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FESTIVAL PROGRAMMING Yoga & Live Music, Car & Motorcyle Show - Lambda Car Club Comedy Showcase, AIDS Memorial Quilt, Poetry Slam, Sobriety Meetup Youth Liberation Space, Trans March, Dyke March, Shooting Stars Cabaret, Queer Your Gender Dance Party, Outworlders Gaymer Space, 18th Annual Atlanta Pride Brunch, Gray Pride, Family Fun Zone SWEET TEA: A Queer Variety Show, Starlight Cabaret FOR A FULL SCHEDULE AND TO LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR PARTNERS PLEASE VISIT ATLANTAPRIDE.ORG.

OCTOBER12-14,2018 atlantapride.org

INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 1 ISSUE 42 SEPTEMBER 13, 2018

FALL PREVIEW

Autumnal rush on huge queer events

COVER

10 17

Toxic

How masc supremacy misses out

NIGHTLIFE

13

New Gay Bar

28 Con Artists

Multi-level dance club coming in 2019 THE QUEER AGENDA

Datebook

17

Mark your calendar for the week’s hottest events

30 All Greek

FEATURES Q Voices

8

Q News

14

Q Shots

28

The Q

38

38

33 Sunday Funday theQatl.com

7

Q

Q VOICES

Queer

SUICIDE

When I was 12, I decided to kill myself over being bullied

BY NOW, MOST OF YOU WILL HAVE HEARD ABOUT Jamel Myles. James was 9, just entering 4th grade. He took his own life in August, and his mother said bullying over his sexuality was the reason.

There was an outpouring about the senselessness of this loss, how 9 years old is too young to take your own life, that 9 years old is too young to know that know that you’re gay.

But that simply isn’t true.

Over the course of a month, I shoplifted sleeping pills from pharmacies and grocery stores within a bike ride of my house.

Once I had 10 bottles, I thought that should be enough to finish me off.

On the last Saturday of September, I went to a matinee at the movie theater by my house to see Woman In Red starring Gene Wilder. It was terrible. I went home at about 5 p.m and started taking the sleeping pills, one by one, bottle by bottle, alternating pills with swigs of room temperature Mr. Pibb.

I then decided that I didn’t want Woman In Red starring Gene Wilder to be the last thing I watched before I died, so I went to the family room to catch the tail end of Cartoon Express on USA Network. While watching an episode of Grape Ape, I slipped from consciousness.

I awoke three days later in a hospital bed in Charleston, South Carolina. My parents called me in for dinner sometime after and found me non-responsive.

They thought I had been drugged, that someone at the movie theater had “slipped me a mickey.” I went along with that narrative because it was better than telling them the truth. It would not be until I was in my 30s that I would confess to my parents that I had tried to kill myself.

Many of us are born knowing that we’re different. Only after time and experience do we IAN put the fine point on it and define it as queer, ABER but we are told from the very beginning, by the world’s response to us, that we are different, that we don’t fit into the gender or sexuality roles laid out for us.

I write this not for sympathy but for clarity. When a 9-yearold kills themselves rather than face the extremely difficult In that difference, we often find strength, voice and identity but task of existing as queer in a straight world, I understand. Lots those are gifts we pay for in alienation and abuse. of us do.

The adage “It Gets Better” was developed to encourage the queer among us — still dependent on their less-than-supportive families or trapped in the heteronormative systems that are public and private schools — that they just need to bide their time, and in many cases just survive, and better times are just ahead.

At 9 years old, I knew I was gay and so did everyone else. It was obvious. I was teased and bullied about it continuously at school by students and occasionally by teachers.

We moved over the summer of 1984 from Guam to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and I thought I would somehow escape this bullying at a new school. Within the first week, it was clear I would not.

If anything, it was worse. So at 12 years old, seeing no future being gay where I wouldn’t be ostracized or harassed, I decided to kill myself.

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And as sad and senseless as it is, that child is hopefully at peace, something he was not guaranteed or granted in any capacity in this world.

Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among 10 to 24-year-olds regardless of sexual orientation. Queer youth are five times more likely to attempt suicide over heterosexual youth and three times more likely to contemplate suicide than heterosexual youth.

It does not simply “get” better. We make it better, or we get used to it. Or we don’t.

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out to The Trevor Project, thetrevorproject.org.

Ian Aber is a stand-up performer, showrunner and writer based in Atlanta. “Woman in Red” is still awful.

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Q

10 QUEER THINGS

Masc4Missing 10 things you’re cheating yourself out of while clinging to toxic masculinity

I

t’s cool if you’re butch. It’s not cool if you hate on femmes and scoff at femininity. It’s even worse if you hate on certain characteristics in yourself.

Here are 10 points that “masc” ostracizers — ­ whether identified male, female or nonbinary — just don’t get.

Gender and Sexuality are Fluid

Masculine and feminine aren’t mutually exclusive and can coexist in one person. Neither is a judgment on you, both are part of you.

Vulnerability is Sexy

Some people may openly pine for “straightacting,” “male-acting” mascs, but showing some traditionally associated “feminine” emotion is a total panty dropper.

Free to Be

You be you. You don’t have to like skirts, Pinterest and eyeliner. The problem isn’t “masculinity,” it’s the us-and-them toxicity with which some people wield it against so-called “femininity.”

Dress for Success

If you relentlessly mock the well-groomed, fashion-conscious among us, ask yourself if it’s because we’re getting positive attention for it. It wouldn’t kill you to try a little.

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‘The Woman’ and ‘The Man’ When two guys have sex, both play the role of “the man.” Because both are men. That’s the point.

Same for two women — no one in that situation is “the man,” and both are powerful, independent entities without a member of the opposite sex.

Femininity is Strength

Could some of these butchies handle what these other queers are taking? They know who they are, show it, take a licking and keep on ticking.

Butt Stuff

If you’re ignoring this erogenous zone because of your issues, you’re missing out.

Self Honesty

Femmes have braved more adversity by puberty than some masc-obsessed people will in a lifetime.

Masculine≠Man

You don’t have to be masculine to be a man, and you don’t have to be a man to be masculine. Our destructive idea of masculinity is rooted in the idea that to be or act like a woman is to be inferior, but embracing the spectrum and moving beyond boxes is much more adult.

Shame Free

We tell more about ourselves by those we ridicule than the person we are targeting. Let go of that internal shame or hang-up that’s informing your opinion.

Out

theQatl.com

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NIGHTLIFE Q

Dance,

QUEEN!

New gay dance club and cabaret coming to Underground Atlanta

By Patrick Saunders A PAIR OF GAY ATLANTA NIGHTLIFE VETERANS ARE preparing to bring a two-story, 14,000-square-foot cabaret and dance club to downtown Atlanta.

The club — called Future — is the brainchild of Keith Young and Hoosh Mishu, the owners of the after hour event series Xion.

Young also co-owns Midtown Tavern, which opened in March.

Young said he was leery about opening a venue at Underground at first because of the area’s reputation for crime.

Then a series of noise complaints lodged at Midtown bars, and the Midtown area’s own issues with crime, convinced him otherwise, he told Project Q Atlanta.

“I come from Pittsburgh, and downtown is everything — everything happens downtown,” Young said. “To me, the future of Atlanta is shifting to that area. Even since we started working on this deal down there, so much has happened in the past six months — it’s just totally changing."

Young and Mishu signed a 10-year lease at 180 Lower Alabama St., and they contracted Walix Construction to demolish the existing retail spaces and construct the new venue. Planning Interiors, Inc. is handling the design and architecture.

Future will be one of the many tenants taking part in the remaking of Underground Atlanta (top photo). WRS Inc. bought the four-block property in spring 2017 and got to work developing it into a mix of housing, retail, office space and a hotel. The first phase of the project is expected to be complete by spring 2019, reported Atlanta Business Chronicle.

‘To me, the future of Atlanta is shifting to [downtown]. Even since we started working on this deal down there, so much has happened in the past six months — it’s just totally changing.’

— Keith Young, co-owner of Future The changes at Underground Atlanta are part of more than $4 billion worth of new projects in the works in historic South Downtown, according to Saporta Report.

Young said the developer has been very welcoming about having an LGBTQ business at Underground. Charlie Brown’s Cabaret once called Underground home but has long since closed.

Young said permits are in process and that he expects the club to open in “several months.” He added that he and Mishu’s investment in the project is in the seven-figure range.

“I’m not really concerned about being in a gay area or not a gay area,” he said. “The developer is putting hundreds of millions of dollars into this development, and it’s going to be amazing.”

While the club will be geared toward LGBTQ patrons, Young said they will rent out the space to others as well.

Phoenix will be Future’s entertainment director and will produce two cabaret shows a night for three or four nights a week.

“We’re going to work with Heretic, work around their schedule,” he said. “So, the nights that they have something big, maybe that’s the night that we rent the club out to somebody else and collect income that way instead of trying to fight for the same crowd.”

“I’m definitely very excited about having a cabaret in the city, because as great as the shows are that I currently am in, there’s something so different about having a stage with the curtain and the lighting and effects," the entertianer said.

"I’m excited to have that element back in the city." theQatl.com

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Q

IN BRIEF

Bestselling lesbian Decatur author Amanda Kyle Williams dies AMANDA KYLE WILLIAMS overcame a learning disability on the way to becoming a bestselling author.

The Decatur resident died on Aug. 31 at the age of 61 after a long battle with cancer.

Atlanta Braves organist trolls anti-gay Cubs player with Lady Gaga ATLANTA BRAVES ORGANIST Matthew Kaminski gained a lot of new fans on Aug. 31 when he serenaded anti-gay Chicago Cubs second baseman Daniel Murphy with LGBTQ-themed songs.

Kaminski — who has gained a large following since starting with the team in 2009 — played a different song for each of Murphy’s at-bats: The Kinks’ “Lola,” which was inspired by band members’ encounters with a transgender woman; “What the World Needs Now,” written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David and made popular by Jackie DeShannon; and Lady Gaga’s LGBTQ anthem “Born This Way.” In 2015, Murphy — then with the New York Mets — said of out former MLB player Billy Bean, “I disagree with his lifestyle. I do disagree with the fact that Billy is a homosexual.” He later reiterated his opposition to homosexuality “100 percent.”

Given a chance to walk back the comments after joining the Cubs last month, Murphy would only say that he’s “been able to foster a really positive relationship with Billy Bean” since he spoke out in 2015.

Kaminski tweeted to thank fans of the song choices after the game. “#Braves vs #Cubs - Wow! My Twitter feed was on fire tonight! Thank you for all the love” Check out video of all three of Murphy’s at-bats in our post on theQatl.com.

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The lesbian crime writer found mainstream success late in life with her bestselling Keye Street trilogy of novels. The first novel in the series — The Stranger You Seek — was shortlisted for the Townsend Prize for Fiction and was a Shamus finalist by the Private Eye Writers of America for Best First Private Investigator Novel in 2012.

Voice. “I’ve been very lucky to have never had a problem. I’ve been accepted my whole life.”

She was diagnosed with stage 3 endometrial cancer in 2014 and teamed up with photographer Kaylinn Gilstrap to document her cancer journey in the BALD project.

Williams took an unconventional path to literary success. She dropped out of South Gwinnett High School at age 16 and was diagnosed as dyslexic when she was 22.

“I didn’t start reading until I was 23, and today I’m still a very slow reader,” she told Georgia Voice in 2012. “Just being able to read a book was incredible. That people actually read for pleasure … and the idea of fiction was to build this whole world with words.

I loved it.”

Five years after reading her first book, she told people she was going to write one. She wrote a series of spy novels in the 1990s with a lesbian CIA agent protagonist named Madison McGuire. One of the books nabbed a Lambda Literary Award nomination.

She also freelanced with LGBTQ paper Southern Voice and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Williams came out at age 15 and said her sexual orientation never got in the way of her professional career.

“My publisher has no problem with it.

It’s not relevant to my books. It’s never been a stumbling block,” she told Georgia

Williams had a long history with Charis Books & More, holding her first book signing at the feminist bookstore in 1990.

The Charis staff honored Williams in a newsletter sent out Monday following the end of the Decatur Book Festival.

“Amanda was the epitome of a community writer: generous, funny, humble, and kind. … [She] always seemed to root for the underdog – from the literal shelter dogs and cats she loved, to the multifaceted characters she created ­— Amanda found and made heroes in unlikely places. … The world is a little less witty and less compassionate without Amanda in it.”

At press time, a memorial service was not yet scheduled.

Read the full reports, as well as fresh LGBTQ local news, every day at theQatl.com.

theQatl.com

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

September 13 - September 19

THURSDAY, SEPT. 13 Prayer Requests

Besties Powell Mansfield and Katherine Blan-

ford return with their hilarious “stand-up comedy cry for help” @ Red Light Café, 8:30 p.m.

Sweet Tea

The Southern Fried Queer Pride

gang puts on the latest edition of their popular variety show @ 529, 9 p.m.

southernfriedqueerpride.com A Gracious Heresy

Meet Rev. Connie Tuttle introducing her

book subtitled The Queer Calling of an Unlikely Prophet @ Charis Books & More, 7:30 p.m. charisbooksandmore.com

FRIDAY, SEPT. 14 - SEPT. 22 It’s Only a Play

Process Theatre Co. continues its rendition of Terrance McNally’s show about an opening night gone berserk @ Out Of Box Theatre, 8 p.m.

Runs through Sept. 22. theprocesstheatre.org

MAAP Mix, Mingle & Film

Metro Atlanta Association of Professionals

hosts its happy hour with a preview of Out

SATURDAY, SEPT. 15 Rome

The Saturnalia party crew presents this all-are-welcome costume party with DJ Brett Oosterhaus @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com,

saturnaliaparty.com. See their ad in this week’s Q and our preview at theQatl.com.

On Film with trailers and giveaways, as well as

complimentary light bites, beer and wine

Music Midtown Brunch

@ Atlanta Beltline Center, 6 p.m. maapatl.org

What better way to munch during the annual festival than on gay-owned tacos

SATURDAY, SEPT. 15

@ Guac Y Margys, 12 noon. guacymargys.com Icon: Rihanna & Sia Drag Race finalist Shea Couleé headlines this iteration of the party series in tribute to two legends @ Deep End, 10 p.m. deependatl.com, wussymag.com Fort Troff: Maneuvers Your military gear is encouraged for the gay male sex club’s theme night

Bucks Car Wash Beer Bust

Atlant’s gay rugby squad puts suds in your glass and on your car as a fundraiser @ Midtown Moon, 2 p.m. atlantabucksrugby.org

@ Manifest4U, 10 p.m. manifest4u.com Find even more LGBTQ events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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Q

FALL EVENTS

LGBTQ Atlanta comes for autumn with a season of signature events

Falling OUT

By Mike Fleming

W

hile the weather seems to take its time to catch a clue long after Labor Day, queer Atlanta catches the waver much earlier.

Fall is a signature season in the LGBTQ-ATL with cornerstone events falling, even when the leaves aren’t yet. Here are a few of our favorite things through Thanksgiving.

SEPTEMBER SEPT. 20 Anime Weekend Atlanta 2018 awa-con.com

Out on Film Opening Night When the Beat Drops outonfilm.org

DustyRose by Patrick Di Rito The Bakery thebakeryatlanta.com

Andre Leon Talley Meals on Wheels Power Lunch Flourish Atlanta mealsonwheelsatlanta.org

SEPT. 21

SEPT. 29

Kathy Griffin Cobb Energy Centre cobbenergypac.com

SEPT. 22

Fall Festival Candler Park fallfest.candlerpark.org

Old Fourth Ward Fall Fest oldfourthwardfallfest.com

DILF “Fall Ball” Heretic hereticatlanta.com

Rainbow Ball Out Front Theatre Co. outfronttheatre.com

Atlanta Pride Beer Bust My Sister’s Room mysistersroom.com

Stride Into Pride DJ Roland Belmares hereticatlanta.com

SEPT. 30

End of Summer T-Dance District Atlanta facebook.com/gaboyprod

SEPT. 22-23 Buckhead Fine Arts Festival buckheadartsfestival.com 18

SEPT. 27

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Miss Atlanta Pride Pageant Midtown Tavern midtowntavern.net

OCTOBER OCT. 1 Troye Sivan Coca-Cola Roxy cocacolaroxy.com

OCT. 5

OCT. 14

Gentlemen’s Ball Weekend thegentlemensfoundation.org

Atlanta Pride Parade Downtown to Midtown atlantapride.org

OCT. 6 Kicking for a Cause Kickball for Joining Hearts Piedmont Park joininghearts.org Out on Film Super Saturday Including Mapplethorpe Midtown Art Cinema & Out Front Theatre outonfilm.org Mayor’s LGTBQ Reception Atlanta City Hall weareoneatlanta.com

OCT. 7 Out on Film Closing Day Best Of Shorts & More outonfilm.org

OCT. 12 Atlanta Pride Kickoff Party Georgia Aquarium atlantapride.org Heaven Pride Party Park Tavern facebook.com/heavenprideparty

OCT. 13-14 Atlanta Pride Piedmont Park atlantapride.org

OCT. 13 Queen Butch Midtown Tavern midtowntavern.net Peep Show with Alaska Thunderfuck Deep End wussymag.com

Spectra Pride Panel Brunch Deep End deependatl.com

OCT. 18 Lisa Stansfield Center Stage centerstage-atlanta.com

OCT. 20 Little Five Points Halloween Festival l5phalloween.com

OCT. 21 AIDS Walk Atlanta & 5K Run aidswalkatlanta.com

OCT. 26 Shalloweeen with Sasha Velour

Heretic hereticatlanta.com

OCT. 27 Amy Ray Variety Playhouse variety-playhouse.com

NOVEMBER NOV. 11 Christina Aguilera Fox Theatre foxtheatre.org LGBTQ Movie Night Ponce Branch Library afpls.org/ponce-branch6

NOV. 16-19 Divertidos! ATL Latin Pride facebook.com/pg/divertidosATL

theQatl.com

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FRIDAYS

11 p.m.

hosted by

featuring

Shavonna B. Brooks & Raquel Lord

Tristan Panucci Dupree & Niesha Dupree

SATURDAYS

11 p.m.

hosted by

Shavonna B. Brooks

featuring

Raquel Rea Heart Maya Ross Monroe Evah Destruction

ALWAYS A PARTY BU

THE FUN CONTINUES ALL WEEK LONG! MONDAYS

Musical Mondays OutFront Theatre Company 8 p.m.

TUESDAYS

Karaoke

Hosted by Angelica D’Paige Brooks 10 p.m.

WEDNESDAYS

. m . p 9

Whatcha Singing Wednesday Hosted by Ron Scoza, Baby D GaLore & DJ Weston 10 p.m.

FRIDAYS

Fresh Fish Friday Drag 8-10 p.m.

Movie on the Patio Bar 7 p.m.

SATURDAYS

The Moonlight Starlets Hosted by Misti Shores you all eat n ca fet! buf

d by

e host

ks o o r B Destiny & ee r p u d i cc u n a p n Trista

T NEVER A COVER!

8 p.m.

SUNDAYS

Eggstravaganza

Hosted by Misti Shores & Niesha Dupree with special guest Trashetta GaLore Brunch: Noon - 3 p.m.

Show: 1 p.m.

The Armorettes 9-11 p.m.

Kitchen Hours Mon-Sat 4-10 p.m.

Sunday Brunch Noon -3 p.m.

Dinner 4-8 p.m.

1492 Piedmont Ave NE Atlanta, GA 30309 404-343-6514

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FALL EVENTS

Signature SEASON

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Atlanta PRIDE

The 48th annual festival hits Piedmont Park Oct. 12-14.

Our three favorite things about fall in queer Atlanta

By Mike Fleming

T

here are a few guarantees about life in the LGBTQ-ATL. One of them is an autumnal rush on huge queer events.

Among the fall events cornucopia spilling out in our preview on pages 18 and 19 are three that shine even brighter than the rest. In fact, each of the events celebrated in photos on the following pages stands alone as an Atlanta signature.

Nowhere else in the world does Pride, a queer film fest like Out on Film, or Halloween quite like Atlanta. Turn the page to start psyching up. ď ľ

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Q

FALL EVENTS, Continued

Out on FILM The 31st annual film festival expands to 11 days, Sept. 27 – Oct. 6, and three locations this year. See entries at Midtown Art Cinema, Out Front Theatre and Plaza Theatre. outonf ilm.org.

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FALL EVENTS, Continued

HALLOWEEN With the Big Day in the middle of the week this year, options for costuming for prizes will abound on Oct. 26-28, and possibly even the weekend before that and the weekend after. When it comes to showing out for Halloween, queer Atlanta don’t play.

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Q

Q SHOTS

DRAGON*CON PARADE

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com 28

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PHOTOS BY LAURA BACCUS

Q

Q SHOTS

LGBT GREEKS FESTIVAL IN CANDLER PARK

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Q

Q SHOTS

CHERRY BOMB DRAG SHOW AT MIDTOWN MOON

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

END OF SUMMER PATIO PARTY AT TEN

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

PURE HEAT FESTIVAL IN PIEDMONT PARK

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com 34

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

News | Events | Culture | Photos | Podcast

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DANI TORO AT HERETIC

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E T A

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The Club Where Men Do It! Open Thursday - Sunday at 9pm

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THEQ?!

Quick

HITS

Sometimes the best advice is the simplest. Catch these drive-by queer truths.

Q

My longtime partner has all but given up doing little things to win my affection. Where are my flowers?

Dear Needy: Go buy flowers if you like flowers. Then give them to him and say you were thinking of him. Enjoy the view together, and mention that you liked it when you used to do such things for each other.

Q

I found out I’m HIV positive right as things were getting going with a new guy who I really like. I’m afraid telling him will ruin our chances. What’s my obligation here?

Dear Reckless: There’s a saying that our readers in recovery know well: We are only as sick as our secrets. There’s a sure cure for what’s really ailing you: Honesty.

Q

I’ve been with my girlfriend for about eight months, and she asked me to marry her. I know in my heart it’s right, but I’m hesitant over the short time frame.

Should I be?

Dear Rush: Before marriage equality, queers used to just move in together too quickly. Now some of us are jumping to the altar. Listen to yourself. The hesitation means ease up. If it’s right, you’ll be feeling it even more in a year or two. Say yes to a long engagement.

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Q

When I was younger, I left on the lights during sex. I loved seeing every detail, expression, even watching her face while we kiss. Lately, I flip off the switch when it’s time, mainly because I’m self-conscious about looking older. I do miss the visuals though.

Dear Dark: Queer self-image as we age is a whole column in itself, but here’s a quick suggestion for now: Candles. They set a mood, plus the amber light evens skin tones and hides imperfections.

Q

I make it a habit not to have sex with poz guys. Friends say I’m prejudiced. I say I’m careful. You know stuff.

What’s the word?

Dear Wrong: The word you’re looking for is shortsighted. On the one hand, you miss good sex with some potentially great guys if you avoid the ones telling you they’re positive. On the other, how do you know the guy you’re doing is negative?

What if he lies? What if he thinks he’s negative but hasn’t been diagnosed yet? What if the same is true of you and you’re exposing others?

Q

I get bombarded with hateful messages just because my Grindr profile says, “No Fats, No Femmes, No Blacks. No Browns.” I have nothing against those people, but I don’t want to have sex with them. Is that wrong?

Dear Biased: There is a line between preference and prejudice, and you crossed it. Every person has physical “types,” but writing off entire demographics is shortsighted and rude at best, bigoted at worst.

Knowing what you prefer is one thing; judging a “those people” as you call them on one trait without seeing them is another. There’s a word for it, it starts with “R,” and I imagine your profile detractors used it.

In your profile, try praising things you like instead of profiling things you don’t. You don’t have to announce why you swipe left. Then again, if conscious bigotry is motivating you, keep your profile as is — so the rest of us can swipe left on you.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON