Q Magazine | October 11, 2018 | Atlanta Pride Edition

Q

October 11, 2018

inform | inspire

PRIDE faces of

Guide to Pride plus LGBTQ Atlanta Coming Out Day stories

The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

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EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER MARK S. KING HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

Pride Sucks &

PRIDE ROCKS

Whether you love or hate Pride, I completely agree

EVEN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, I flip flop on whether Atlanta Pride is awesome, or the worst. Each year, I see it as both the unity of diverse backgrounds and a festival with its soul sucked out to exploit the pink dollar. It’s easy to be drawn into the energy, but it’s just as simple to wallow in hating “the commercialization of Pride.”

Neither view is exactly right, but ready or not, it’s time again for the annual celebration of all things queer — the good, the bad and the ugly. This special issue of Q is ready so you can be too.

Atlanta Pride rolls out its 48th park weekend and parade with the theme “Forever Proud.” Check out our Pride Interview with Pride headliner Bebe Rexha, and find a supersized Queer Agenda calendar of events and a veritable chorus of Q Voices celebrating the season.

Since this issue comes out on Coming Out Day, what better way to celebrate Pride than with the coming out stories of 11 LGBTQ Atlantans in MIKE FLEMING our Pride Profiles. They get the Q treatment in EDITOR & PUBLISHER portraits by contributing photographer Jon Dean.

Together they create a rich tapestry featuring just a glimpse of queer Atlanta’s inspiring diversity.

Ultimately, how you do Pride, personally and politically, is on you. The revelry with friends and strangers can be just as engaging as the issues that bring us together. Whether your take on the weekend festival is “thank you” or “fuck you,” let the overarching approach be respect for our diversity of thought.

Some love Pride’s outrageous displays of individuality. Others turn their nose at folks who turn up and turn it out. Some want more politics. Others want less.

I’ve said it before, and it bears repeating: It’s all good. Pride is a perfect time to celebrate this diversity and to talk amongst ourselves with respect for our differences — even for those who think that Pride itself, as an event and as a concept, needs an overhaul.

Sure, companies use the holi-gay to push their products, and party people use the excuse to up the ante, but it’s up to each individual to discover the joy where it means the most to us. Party your ass off if that’s how you roll. Attend the rallies and visit the politicians if that’s your thing. Better yet, do both, and the true meaning of Pride won’t be lost.

Like that great gay sage Madonna sang way back in 1986, when Atlanta Pride was a third its current age, “Beauty’s where you find it.” Amen, sister. theQatl.com

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Q Chorus Embrace your

beautiful unique

self.

understand about yourself and the person

or people you’re attracted to.

No one else’s opinion on this matters.

VINCE SHIFFLETT

GET BETTER!

Being gay is

WONDERFUL!

Embrace it. PRIDE is about COUNTERING culturally taught SHAME. Embrace that, too.

ALEXANDRA T YLER, LCSW, CCH

is, you drew a better

situation than most. It isn’t enough for things to “get better” JA M E S PA R K E R SHEFFIELD

for just you. You’re obligated to remember that.

Find someone you trust and are comfortable with to tell first.

Be prepared for rejection from some. In many cases your friends will become your family and your support.

CHARLES E. D AV I S

Don’t let anyone scare or shame you into being anything other than your

THEY have to BE STRAIGHT. ENJOY yourself.

H E AT H E R MALONEY

Regardless of how hard any of this

YOU get to BE GAY.

IAN ABER

Q Voices columnists join forces in notes to their pre-coming-out selves

There’s no right or wrong sexuality when you’re trans.

It’s entirely what you

It really does TA M E E K A L .

HUNTER

Q VOICES Q

ERIC PA U L K

authentic self.

Please know that the RISK of what you MIGHT LOSE OR THE PAIN that you may experience PALES to the LOSS AND REGRET of denying the TRUTH OF WHO YOU WERE ALWAYS MEANT TO BE. The most difficult aspect of courage is the first step.

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Q

10 QUEER THINGS

Revolution 10 Prideful Things To Do While You R-E-S-I-S-T

By Mike Fleming

EMBRACE THE WORD QUEER

The word itself actively resists categorization.

Reclaim previously harmful definitions. It subverts heteronormativity and homonormativity and is more inclusive.

FEEL YOUR FEELINGS

Look around. Don’t hide from the discrimination and hate from the current administration, and don’t accept anger as your only option. Listen to your emotions and don’t be afraid to be raw and exposed. Vulnerability can be resistance.

PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION

Show the world that still sometimes criminalizes and pathologizes our sexuality how it’s going to be.

ACT UP AND ACT OUT “We’re here, we’re queer” isn’t just for our forefathers. If not now, when? If not you, who?

14

theQatl.com

HAVE SEX

Queer sex is politically powerful. Fuck as if your life depends on it, because under this administration, it’s how we also fuck the status quo.

ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR PRIVILEGES

If you’re cis, white, male, gender-conforming and/or rich, recognize your advantages as they happen. Listen to other perspectives. Educate yourself. Initiate conversations.

WIELD YOUR POWER Politicize and prioritize your queerness. It’s an every day part of you.

Talk about it. Make it incidental to discussions of equality and social justice.

RECLAIM YOUR HISTORY

Your queer lineage is long and winding. Learn it. Who was at the Compton Cafeteria Riots? What was the GLF? Who were the Salsa Soul Sisters?

ENCOMPASS MORE THAN SEXUALITY

Queerness is intersectional. It accepts aspects of your identity often left out of “gay and lesbian” conversations. Celebrate your multi-faceted gender identity, your ace, your kink, your non-monogamy.

YOU BE YOU

Live your truth. Nothing says I’m down with the Resistance like flying your unique flag as your unabashed true self. theQatl.com

15

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BAD FOR LGBTQ GEORGIANS. BAD FOR BUSINESS.

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Brian Kemp would sign anti-LGBTQ legislation, including “religious freedom” legislation that would legalize discrimination against Georgians and drive businesses away from our state.

Early Vote Begins Oct. 15. Mandatory Saturday Voting on Oct. 27.

Election Day is Nov. 6.

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Pride Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

October 11 - October 17 THURSDAY, OCT. 11 Brewery Pride Night Jerusalem House

benefits from

LGBTQ beer lovers down-

ing local brew to

FRIDAY, OCT. 12 Pride Kickoff Party

The official start to Atlanta

Pride weekend includes DJ beats and thousands of friends

@ Georgia Aquarium, 7 p.m. atlantapride.org

Aquarium Afterparty

Keep the official Pride vibes going with DJ Tony Moran @ Heretic, 9 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

celebrate the season

Heaven Pride Party

@ SweetWater Brewery, 4:20 p.m.

The annual lesbian stalwart starts

jerusalemhouse.org

its weekend with live music,

Pride Silent Disco

DJs and scores of women

Put on your headphones and

@ Park Tavern, 9 p.m.

groove with Sound Off and

Atlanta Pride @ Establishment,

8 p.m. atlantapride.org

facebook.com/bellissima.atlanta Blitz

Even My Sister’s Room was too small for this epic fandango. The lesbian bar teams with Starz and Yvonne Monet for this blowout women’s

party with Whitney Mixter from

The L-Word, two dance floors, four

DJs, go-go dancers, plus VIP tables with Big Freedia

their own private bar @ Publico, 9 p.m. mysistersroom.com Pride Glow Party

The one and

only puts on a

MSR sponsors a blowout and keeps the

Pride show you won’t

beat in its own digs as well. Queerly Be-

soon forget. No cover

loved Revue stages its weekend-appropri-

@ Le Maison Rouge,

ate acts for the ladies @ My Sister’s Room,

7 p.m. wussymag.com

9 p.m. mysistersroom.com PAPA: Heroes

The world famous gay Israel party invades

Atlanta with DJs Oscar Velazquez and Sean

Michael @ Southern Exchange Ballrooms,

10 p.m. papapartyatlanta.com Femme!

Dance, music and performance art with a queer Amen: Pride Show

Taylor Alxndr (photo by artist Savannah

theQatl.com

10 p.m. deependatl.com

Ogburn) and her queens put their spin on the

Sugar Shack

Room, 10:30 p.m. sisterlouisaschurch.com

529atlanta.com

week @ Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living

18

bent @ Deep End,

It’s a hipster-queer Pride dance party in EAV @ 529, 10 p.m.

House of Aloha

Rise

DJ Pat Scott welcomes your leather-with

DJ Phil B brings the house

florals combos @ Atlanta Eagle, 10 p.m.

down @ Heretic, 9 p.m.

atlantaeagle.com

hereticatlanta.com

SATURDAY, OCT. 13

Atlanta Pride

Duh. Hundreds of vendors, events like the Dyke March and Trans-

March, and numerous performances pepper the park. For a full rundown of official events @ Piedmont Park, all day. atlantapride.org Queen Butch

Deep South Pride

An outdoor dance party with DJs Cuntera and William Francis, plus patio

Vicki Powell welcomes the one and

boys and lots of surprises @ Midtown Tavern,

only Octo Octa (photo) to do the

1 p.m. midtowntavern.net

honors and go deep @ Music Room,

10 p.m. Secret location afterparty to

Hocus Pocus

follow. musicroomatl.com

Movie in the Woods screens the Halloween classic — Where else? In the woods

Untitled and Unapologetic

@ Foxhall Resort, Douglasville, 5 p.m.

The event for “unapologetically black and queer

facebook.com/interactive-flick

Peep Show

folks” @ 485 Edgewood, 10 p.m. lovheratl.com

SUNDAY, OCT. 14

RuPaul’s Drag Race alum

Atlanta Pride Parade

headlines Wussy’s Pride

after the march of hundreds through

9 p.m. wussymag.com

10th Streets, 11 a.m. atlantapride.org

Alaska Thunderfuck

Another full day in the park before and

party @ Deep End,

downtown and Midtown @ Peachtree and HRC Pride Brunch

Choice parade seats while you nosh and raise funds @ Empire State South, 10:30 a.m. hrcatlanta.org

DILF: Out & Proud Underwear Party

Electric Circus

Joe Whitaker does it again, this time with Australia’s

Todrick Hall hosts this night of looks

DJ Kitty Glitter (photo) and you in your skivvies @

and dancing @ Opera,

Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

9 p.m. operaatlanta.com Atlanta Pride Main Event

DJ Abel and Phoenix host this dancing-queen

throwdown @ Tabernacle, 10 p.m. future-atlanta.com

Atlanta Pride Closing Party

DJs Joe Gauthreaux and Jose Montanez beat you into sub-

mission @ Opera, 9 p.m. future-atlanta.com

Find even more LGBTQ events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com.

theQatl.com

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Q

PRIDE

Meant Bebe Rexha talks to Q on the eve of her Atlanta Pride performance

By Patrick Saunders

It’s

very good to be in the Bebe Rexha business these days.

The singer, songwriter and producer has been a ubiquitous presence on the radio and streaming services for the last three years. First it was David Guetta’s “Hey Mama,” featuring Rexha, Nicki Minaj and Afrojack. That hit the Billboard top 10.

Then it was “Me, Myself & I,” her 2015 collaboration with rapper G-Eazy that barely missed being a number one single.

Then “In the Name of Love,” her 2016 collaboration with DJ Martin Garrix that hit number one on Billboard’s Dance Club Songs chart.

And, crucially, “Meant to Be” — Rexha’s song featuring country group Florida Georgia Line that you have not 22

theQatl.com

TO BE been able to escape since its release last fall. It’s held down the number one spot on Billboard’s Hot Country Songs chart for a record-breaking 40 weeks (and counting).

Rexha is bringing all of those hits and more to Atlanta Pride’s Coca-Cola Stage on Oct. 13.

The 29-year-old said she’s never sure if she’ll mesh with another artist when collaborating.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m going to click with somebody, and then I don’t, and that sucks,” she said. “Or I look forward to working with somebody and I get along with them really well, but we just can’t come up with any good ideas in the studio.”

She thrives on the mystery of what will happen once she hits the studio with another artist.

“I never would have expected to have such chemistry with

[Florida Georgia Line] musically and to write such a song that became so big around the world,” she said. “So, I think for me, that just keeps it exciting — the not knowing.”

As impressive as the songs you do know Rexha for, what’s more impressive is the number of songs you didn’t know she’s written and passed on to other artists. Selena Gomez, Iggy Azalea and Nick Jonas are among the artists for whom she’s written.

The biggest though is “The Monster,” the Grammy-winning, Billboard chart-topping Eminem hit featuring Rihanna.

But why give that song away? Rexha said 2013 was a much different point in her career.

“It might be a little bit embarrassing, but I couldn’t find people who truly believed in me — as well as the songs that I was writing enough — for me to put it out on my own and have the songs be successful,” she said. “I knew that to give those songs a chance to be successful, I’d have to give them away.”

Rexha is a veteran of playing Pride festivals, including one unforgettable L.A. Pride performance a few days after the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando.

“As much as a lot of us were scared, I feel like everybody showed up and it just made everybody stronger,” she said.

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“It felt like we had to all be there, and it was packed. I thought that was something that was so beautiful.”

“Nothing could hold all of these people from coming out and celebrating who they truly are. It was an incredible night,” she added.

The singer is busy preparing for a world tour to promote her debut studio album “Expectations.” But first, Atlanta.

She played the city before, but this will be her first Atlanta Pride appearance.

She plans to make it an incredible night, and told Q that it’s important for her to support her LGBTQ fans.

“There’s just an acceptance that I love,” she said. “I could fall on my face on the stage and trip on my outfit, and I’d still probably get a round of applause.”

Rexha said LGBTQ fans just bring something extra to the table.

“Being around that energy … it’s like this wave of electricity that I don’t really feel at a lot of shows,” she said. “They’re all exciting, but there’s something about when I do Pride, it just feels so much more invigorating. It gives me life.”

Bebe Rexha plays Atlanta Pride’s Coca-Cola Stage in the Meadow in Piedmont Park on Oct. 13. The afternoon lineup begins at 2 p.m.

Thank You Q Magazine E a r ly V o t i n g B e g i n s O c t. 1 5 t h .

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Q

PRIDE

F A C E S of

P R I D E

LGBTQ Atlantans tell their National Coming Out Day stories to celebrate Pride Weekend

By Jon Dean

26

theQatl.com

Evah Destruction He/ Him Instagram @evahdestruction Came out at: 14

On Coming Out: Ever since I was little, I had always been more in touch with my feminine side. I had a higher voice than the other boys. I liked girly things, I loved to play dress up, lip sync to the Spice Girls in my bathroom mirror, always play the female characters in any video game that I played.

This led to a lot of teasing growing up. I remember the first time I was ever asked if I was gay. I was in the 4th grade. I didn’t exactly know what it meant, but the way I was asked I knew they were being mean. So from then on, I expressed to people I was more sensitive than the other boys in my class, and growing up later on I preferred having “girlfriends” to almost fit in with the social norm so I wouldn’t be questioned all the time.

But then the older I got the more I started thinking about whether or not I was gay. I had a couple of very conservative friends that I was fearful of losing at the time. Not to mention my parents knew before I came to terms with it myself. It almost felt like a growing identity crisis. I remember it was the end of 8th grade year, before I moved to Georgia from Texas, sitting in my parents’ car, and I remember it being dead silent, you know that silence where it’s like your thoughts are screaming at you? Yeah well, in that weird moment I said to myself, “What if what everyone is saying is true?” It became clear that I needed to just embrace who I was, and stop being afraid.

I called a couple of my closest friends first, to ease into the process, and then I walked into my parents’ bedroom that night and just told them. I remember my mouth getting so dry, and how hard my heart was beating. My family accepted it just fine though, and didn’t treat me any differently afterwards. I am so very grateful for that to this day.

Advice to his “closeted” self: Start playing with makeup now. Take those dance lessons. Don’t be afraid of how people are going to treat you or think of you. It won’t be as bad as you think. Educate yourself, watch these movies, watch these shows, learn about these icons. Also, please for the love of god, style yourself better!

Photos and Interviews by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com Read the full interviews at theQatl.com. theQatl.com

27

Q

FACES OF PRIDE, Continued

Jesse Pratt López

She/Her Instagram: @jprattlopez.photos Came out at: 16 and 20 On Coming Out: As a trans girl, I had to come out twice.

First, when I was 16 and I thought I was gay. Then, again, when I was 20, I realized I was actually trans and straight.

Luckily, I was fortunate enough to have an artist and a journalist for parents, so they are both very progressive and accepting.

When I was around 16, I started meeting my first queer people, and I started to accept that being anything other than what society expects of you is OK. I remember I skipped school to kiss my first boy. We went to the park and made out on the grass, and for the first time being with someone else felt right and not forced. I didn’t really have to come out to my parents.

My dad pulled over one day when he was teaching me how to drive, and he told me that he and my mom were OK with me being gay. I knew then that everything was going to be OK. Coming out to the world wasn’t much worse, but I did lose a few people in the process.

While coming out as gay was more like ripping off a Band-Aid, coming to terms with the fact that I did not only fit into the role expected of my sexual orientation, but of my gender, was even harder. It was a longer, more experimental, and awkward process.

But it was also very beautiful. There were almost no trans role models. I don’t think I met my first trans person until I was 18. I don’t know how people who live in rural areas even do it.

I first came out as genderqueer, because I thought it was an identity that allowed me to express my gender and personality in all of its multitudes. I soon felt even more invisible. I actually didn’t fully realize that I identified as a woman until I was once again forced to choose between two binary genders one time at a new job.

The uniforms were gendered, and I found myself in an awkward situation. I showed up to the interview in some tight slacks and a neutral blazer with my short, bobbish hair pushed back behind my ears and my favorite shade of tinted-lip gloss. I did not really reveal anything about my gender, but when I was forced to choose between the “male” and “female” uniforms, I instantly knew that I wanted the cocktail dress. When I showed up on the first day, everyone unequivocally referred to me as “she” and “her,” and every time they said it, I knew I had made the right choice.

Advice to her “closeted” self: Follow your intuition! If you feel like you’re gay, you’re probably gay!

If you feel like you might be trans, you probably trans! But also don’t rush into it. Gender and sexuality are some of the most nuanced, expansive and ever-changing parts of the human experience. Your gender/sexual orientation is yours and yours only. Don’t waste time conforming to others’ ideals.

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Photos and Interviews by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com Read the full interviews at theQatl.com.

Q

FACES OF PRIDE, Continued

Sean Saifa Wall

He/Him Instagram @saifaemerges, @unbornson Came out as gay at 14, but didn’t really identify as a lesbian.

On Coming Out As a queer intersex person of trans experience, I have several coming out stories which were prompted by my female gender assignment at birth. When I came out as gay, I waited until my mom was drunk and I told her. It was perhaps one of the worst decisions of my young adult life. Although we had a great relationship in my adulthood, she was extremely homophobic toward me as a young person.

In college, I discovered that I had an intersex trait known as Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, one of at least 30 intersex traits, which brought me relief but made me feel like some kind of freak. I felt hurt and betrayed by the doctors who I thought were taking care of me, but later learned when I requested my medical records that through castration and synthetic female hormones they tried to make me into a woman.

At no point in my life did anyone ask me what I wanted to do with my body.

For me, as a transmasculine person who is also intersex, I was able to reclaim the sovereign right to my body by taking testosterone and having top surgery as an elective procedure.

Advice to his “closeted” self: Be fearless because problems and people always seem bigger and more threatening in your mind. Trust your gut. Live out loud and be bold as fuck. Don’t try to be someone else or contort yourself to get the love that you want. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Photos and Interviews by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com Read the full interviews at theQatl.com.

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Q

FACES OF PRIDE, Continued

Barry Lee

He/Him Instagram @barryleeart Came out at: 22 On Coming Out: I knew I was bi since I was probably 6, but I didn’t know it was such a thing until I moved away from my small hometown in North Carolina to Atlanta when I was 17. I remember calling myself bisexual when I was 17 and 18, but then denying it, mainly due to believing others that bisexuality was a phase.

My friend jokes now that I walked into his dorm room one day at 18 like Kramer, and proclaimed, “I think I’m bi now!” with no further explanation. At that time though, I was feeling ashamed about it, so I really brushed it off and recanted that statement for a few years until I hit a depression when I was 22. Events in my life really made me say, “No I am bisexual. This is valid. This is me.”

Mainly I had to come out to myself and ignore the harmful rhetoric that bisexuality is an invalid phase or an experiment. I remember the first person I came out to was after a party where just some weird drama happened, and it was just me and my friend Erin. I was drunk and just frustrated, I blurted out “I’m bisexual, I know it.” I soon came out to my other close friends. I came out to my Mom and Dad, who while they’re supportive they kind of just don’t talk about it.

More importantly though, I came out to myself.

Photos and Interviews by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com Read the full interviews at theQatl.com.

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Advice to his “closeted” self: I would say, “Trust yourself, you are valid.” The hardest thing for me when I was closeted was not seeing representation of a bisexual man, but that love is out there for you. You will find many loves and many flings that you think are love but aren’t, which is OK too.

Jaybella Banks

She/Her/Queen Instagram @J_bellabankz Came out at: 17 On Coming Out: I’ve always known this woman was deep down inside me.

It was my senior year of high school when I fully let my hair down and let my light shine bright, and she hasn’t stop shining since!

There comes a time in your life when you stop living for others and start living for yourself. I told my folks and that’s all she wrote. As of 2009, a star was born. She her me loves the skin I’m in.

Advice to her “closeted” self: Please stop being so scared to let your light shine through. You are a beautiful star. There are people out here who will love you regardless. Spread more love than hate.

Trust me, you can build a family anywhere you go!

Photos and Interviews by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com Read the full interviews at theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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Q

FACES OF PRIDE, Continued

Dago Blanco

He/Him Instagram @dagoblanco Came out at: 16 On Coming Out: I knew I had an interest in men since I was a child but never really had the words to define how I felt until high school. The first time I experimented with the same sex was during sophomore year. I had just gotten out of a two-year relationship with a girl. There was a boy from a neighboring school that had taken an interest in me, and I took advantage of it under discreet intentions. It was a brief encounter, a juvenile one at that, considering that I lost my virginity to this person, but I decided not to pursue it any further. This upset him, giving him the agency to out me to his entire school.

I underestimated the power of high school gossip, as word traveled from his school to mine almost overnight. I was mortified and confused.

I felt stripped of any power. Before I could figure anything out for myself, the decision had already been made for me. It was a while before I decided to take back my power and own my sexuality.

In the interim of that debacle, I continued to fool around with guys, but I was very messy about it. So much so that my way of coming out to my mom was her catching me in the driveway hooking up with a guy in his car. Family is very much like high school in the respect of the gossip train, especially in a Hispanic household like mine. Eventually word got to my dad, and yet again I found myself powerless. My family wasn’t thrilled exactly, but it wasn’t long before they came around.

I’ll never forget my dad looking me in the eyes and saying “Dago, if you’re going to be gay, please be the gayest you can be.”

For the first time in a long time, I felt powerful.

Advice to his “closeted” self: If I had advice for my “closeted” self, I would say to not be afraid of the confusion, but rather let it fuel you.

The greatest discoveries have come from curiosity. I would tell myself to give in to your urges and seek your own definitions before you let others define you. I would empower myself before I let others take it from me.

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Photos and Interviews by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com Read the full interviews at theQatl.com.

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Q

FACES OF PRIDE, Continued

Franco Bejarano

Him/Them Instagram @Boy_with_phone Came out at: 22 On Coming Out During grad school, I took a counseling internship at an HIV clinic, and week after week I would see men in their 50s and 60s talk about their lifelong depression. What they all had in common was that they had lived their whole lives in the closet. I had been out to friends for years, but never to my family. I realized that if I wanted to live a wholesome life, I couldn’t compartmentalize who I was.

At the same time, I was going through a devastating break-up. I was in an extremely sad place and wanted to seek comfort with my mother, and I told her. She could care less about my sexuality and only cared about my happiness. It felt like a decade-long weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

The funny thing is that she has a pretty bad memory, so she actually forgot I had come out.

So two years later during a family dinner I casually started talking about a guy a was seeing.

She looked speechless yet excited, and then said “Well. I had always known,” so I actually came out twice.

Advice to his “closeted” self: There will be a multitude of people that will adore you, and you will find a kind and amazing community of individuals that will support you. Take your time accepting yourself. Just know life will get so much better afterwards.

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Photos and Interviews by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com Read the full interviews at theQatl.com.

Q

FACES OF PRIDE, Continued

Theresa Davis

Her/Poet/Pirate/Mermaid Instagram @shepiratepoet Came out at: 31 On Coming Out: I peeked out [of the closet] for two years in college. I fell in love with a girl, but I thought I was just a lisabian, not a lesbian. I was only attracted to her at the time.

A week before my father passed away, he had a conversation with myself and each of my siblings. My conversation spoke specifically to my unhappy marriage, my attempting to become invisible by not actively participating in my art. He raised his voice, something rarely done, and said, “Love who you want to love!

Live your goddamn life, and stop trying to disappear. I can see you.”

After we memorialized my father, I came out to my husband, asked for a divorce. Coming out when I was married to a man was awkward, but my children and family supported me and that meant everything.

I believe my father knew I was queer, even if we never had the conversation directly. It was something that was gnawing at me for years. I began to write and perform, striving to be one of the most visible queer poets in Atlanta.

Advice to her “closeted” self: Don’t teach your children that complacency is the equivalent of, or as good as, happiness. Don’t be complacent and those who love you will support you, because that is what love means.

Photos and Interviews by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com Read the full interviews at theQatl.com.

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Q

FACES OF PRIDE, Continued

Leo Hollen, Jr.

He/Him Instagram @leothemanlion Came out at: 15 ... basically On Coming Out: I had gone to my very first Pride celebration the June before my sophomore year of high school with my friend Sarah, the first person I had come out to. Her mother drove us, and I finally had my own rainbow beads and rainbow shirt, met my first drag queen. Being newly out, I was proud to walk around looking tacky as fuck in nothing but rainbows, tank tops and pride buttons.

I went home, and my mother basically grilled me on what I was doing and what these rainbows meant. This is also after she found an Advocate and XY Magazine I had secretly bought from Borders. I just told her, straight up, I was gay. Not the best idea. She gave me the silent

Photos and Interviews by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com Read the full interviews at theQatl.com.

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treatment for about two years after that. It really fucked up my confidence for years.

I grew up in a very religious household, but my dad wasn’t as stressed. To make an even longer story short, it probably had something to do with just wanting to see a son succeed where his other sons hadn’t. He never treated me differently, never stopped smiling at me ‘til the day he died.

My mother and I are so good now though.

She came to the premiere of Queer Moxie, she knows about guys I’m dating and even wears Queer Moxie shirts.

Advice to his “closeted” self: Do what you need to do, and stop being so scared to do it. Sure, you’re gonna come out and your folks may not be cool with it immediately, but don’t let it bring your confidence down because you’re gonna need that more than you know. Being confident is so important. Keep your head up.

theQatl.com

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Q

FACES OF PRIDE, Continued

Adah-Duval Pittman-Delancey She/Her Instagram @adahduval Came out at: 18

On Coming Out: I was in the first semester of my freshman year at Florida State University, and it was time for winter break. Instead of going home to Miami with my family, I went to visit my girlfriend in Baltimore. My intention was to make it home for Christmas, but I was having so much fun being out and moving freely through the streets of Baltimore. I was literally having a gay immersive experience, going to clubs and meeting more lesbian and gay people then I had ever met in my entire life. So I decided I wanted to stay. I called my mom and told her, and she reluctantly agreed.

I made it back to Miami on Dec. 29. I was unpacking when my mother approached me and asked how my trip went.

I told her it was fun and that I had a lot of fun with my friends. She asked about the woman I was visiting, “Does she like women?” I said yes, without making eye contact. She took a deep breath and asked, “Do you like women?” I turned and looked at her and said, “Yes.” What advice would you give to your “closeted” self: I’d tell myself to share my feelings with my sister. She started asking me if I liked girls when I was 10. I had my first girlfriend at 13 and navigated my faith, middle school and high school with other young lesbians. I’d have probably avoided a lot of risky behavior and feelings of being “hated” by God. Photos and Interviews by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com Read the full interviews at theQatl.com.

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Q

FACES OF PRIDE, Continued

Travis Denison AKA Peaches He/Him Came out to himself was 24 and to family at 36

On Coming Out: I grew up in Jesup, Ga., and that’s just one letter away from Jesus, so you know I was raised Southern Baptist and was scared to ever come out.

I was really good at hiding who I was but dying inside. After college, I moved to LA. My first weeks in LA, I saw boys holding hands in public, and I could not believe my eyes. What was this magical place that I had always dreamed of? It took a year of still getting the nerve to be gay in public, but baaaaaaaby when I did, I did it!

I kept having nightmares that I would come out to my mom and she would kill herself, so every time I went home and wanted to come out, I didn’t because of those dreams. Years passed by, and I was living it up in LA but still hiding every time I came home to family.

I moved back to Atlanta and met an amazing group of friends that pushed me to be proud of who I was and told

Photos and Interviews

by Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com Read the full interviews at theQatl.com.

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me that I would feel so much better after doing so. Through all of this, Peaches kept popping up throughout the years, and she gave me the confidence I needed to come out.

I finally came out to my mom on September 13, 2015, and it was a day I will never forget. We cried, and she told me that she felt like someone told her that I was dead. It hurt so bad, but I finally did it. It hasn’t been easy not hearing your mother say I love you when she is hanging up the phone, but once again my amazing group of friends told me to give her time. Time has passed, and today we say I love you again and hug each other when I am at home. The best part of all of this is that my little sister gained the strength to come out, and she is now happily married with her partner and they have two beautiful children.

Advice to his “closeted” self: Stop trying to impress everyone else, and start living for yourself. Things are not always going to be easy, but with a little patience, a big blonde wig and a pair of sparkly stilettos, you are going to be just fine honey!

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Q SHOTS

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Welcome to

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Newbie and Unwoke find long-overdue teaching moments in equality

Q

I’m considering going to my first

About those people you know who might see you there: Most of them are LGBTQ themselves, and all of them are on your team. Instead of fearing that they see you, start hoping they do. They can be your closest allies and support system.

Q

I love Pride — the parties, the sexy people everywhere

you turn, the flowing alcohol. But for all the talk about

“community,” there are a ton of people I can’t relate to.

Gross leather daddies, drag queens, lesbian moms with natty

little kids, and those social justice freaks all just need to have a drink and chill out. I could go on.

How can I get these people to see Pride for the celebration

it’s intended to be, and not a buzzkill excuse for hoisting their grossness on the world?

Pride festival, but I’m nervous

Dear Unwoke:

someone I know will see me. I know

The bad news is that you

I’m queer, but admitting it in broad

don’t have the key to Pride.

daylight is scary.

The good news is that it’s not locked.

Does my fear mean that I’m not ready to “come out” completely?

Let’s start with one basic

Should I wait until my confi-

principle: There is no “normal.”

dence is better to dip my toe into

Here’s another: There are

the Pride pool?

Dear Newbie:

Come on in. The water’s fine. Trusting yourself is difficult at first, but

if you dig deep, you’ll find most of your answers.

Having confidence comes with every experience in which you face a fear.

So you’re nervous to come out of the

closet and into the light. Join the mil-

lions who came before you — and the hundreds of thousands in Midtown Atlanta this weekend. It’s natural to be wary

of the unexpected, but your entire

future awaits you on the other side of your first festival.

Buck up and go. You’ll most likely be comfortable within 10 minutes, and unstoppable, never to look back, in less than an hour.

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as many different kinds of

queers as there are different

kinds of people. There is no “one

community, one way” other than the

hard-fought right to live and love as we choose.

That includes you and yours partying

through the weekend, as well as the

fellow human beings and siblings in the

struggle that you so effortlessly mock.

The very acceptance we celebrate at Pride is

sorely missing from your repertoire. If you don’t learn

these lessons, you’re as bad as the straight, cisgender, fearmongering foes who’d rather not be subjected to your “lifestyle.” Think it

through.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling.

Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

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