Q Magazine Atlanta | October 25, 2018

Q

Queer Up Your COSTUME IDEAS

October 25, 2018

inform | inspire

Playing

DRESS UP

LGBTQ Atlanta’s All Dressed Up with Places to Go for Halloween

Figure Out What LOVE LOOKS LIKE Out Front Goes Inside THE UPSTAIRS LOUNGE NSA Hookups Changed SINCE YOU BEEN GONE

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Q News 10 Queer Things Q Shots Queer Agenda

The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

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Post

PRIDE

Q ueer Atlanta keeps the pace with Halloween festivities and lessons in love

TIME JUST KEEPS SPINNING FORWARD through the calendar, as does the LGBTQ-ATL. One minute it’s summer, next minute it’s Atlanta Pride, and suddenly you’re bundled up working on that Halloween costume. Q magazine is here to keep up with all of it.

Before you fully relegate Pride to the fond memory section of your brain, our expanded Q Shots pages celebrate the festival and parade with photos. Supersized as those pages are — flip to page 24 to get started — they’re just a teaser taste of an amazing 14 Pride galleries at theQatl.com.

ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER MARK S. KING HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

We kick off this issue with Q Voices and Vince Shifflett’s list of must-haves for true love. He asks the hard questions and learns to embrace the answers.

In Q Stage, a lesson in a bigger love awaits, one of shared LGBTQ history. If you haven’t heard about the real-life UpStairs Lounge gay bar arson attack, Out Front Theatre is going to blow your mind. The new musical The View Upstairs takes the stage to bring its victims and their stories to life.

Opening Night of the show is just one item on the weekly Queer Agenda calendar of events, which of course this week includes Halloween. With the holiday falling on Wednesday this year, your best bets for costume contests, tricks and treats fall a few days earlier. In Q Events, we offer a breakout calendar to run down dozens of options now through Oct. 31.

And if you’re still trying to figure out what to wear, some queer inspiration from Halloweens past awaits in our 10 Queer Things feature. The weekly listicle takes on a lighter tone this week with costume ideas.

Save room, though. There’s so much more in store in this issue. Q News meets yet another a queer-friendly candidate for your vote, Atlanta’s bigoted former fire chief chalks up a win, and The Q advice column takes on hookups.

As with every week in Q, it’s a lot, but you can handle it. Enjoy this issue, find fresh content daily at theQatl.com, and look for a new print edition at queer and LGBTQ-friendly venues all over town. theQatl.com

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MIER E R P N TER S A E H T SOU Journey back to the UpStairs Lounge and see what has been gained and lost in the fight for equality.

E!

Oct. 25 Nov. 10, 2018 Tickets: $15 and up

Sponsored by Jay Reynolds, Michael Barnett, Reuben Reynolds & Bill Casey

www.OutFrontTheatre.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 1 ISSUE 48 OCTOBER 25, 2018

10 QUEER THINGS What To Wear

COVER

18 10

What’s Up

Halloween Happenings POLITICS

13

Queer Friendly

24 Park Pride

Jan Slipakoff is coming for you STAGE

16

Historical ‘View’

28 Fishy Looks

UpStairs Lounge comes alive at Out Front

FEATURES Q Voices

8

Q News

14

Q Shots

24

Queer Agenda The Q

22 38

38

30 Love a Parade theQatl.com

7

Q

VOICES

What is

TRUE Love?

Asking yourself the hard questions and listening to the answers WHAT EXACTLY IS TRUE LOVE? IS IT OPEN TO interpretation by each individual, or is there only a specific definition? There are, of course, many different

Acceptance & Allowance True love is allowing the people in my life to be who they are. It is not important for me to understand them or give them my permission.

We are each responsible for our own happiness and wellbeing. That will look different for each person.

Love and allow, even though a person might be totally different from you in many ways.

Communication Good fun, meaningful, stimulating, intellectual conversation is vital. When the good sex is over, what’s left? The number one thing I am attracted to in another is intelligence. I find it not only sexy but an absolute necessity.

Being able to look in one another’s eyes and have a great conversation over dinner is priceless and trumps everything else for me. I have often said, “The contents are much more important than the package.”

I refer back to the ideological concepts above when I’m dating someone, or just in my relationships in general.

types of love such as friendship love, romantic

love, agape love, Eros and the love you have for your family.

Am I trying to change them? That is not true love.

Love is something I seek out, fall into, and fall out of.

Am I allowing them to be exactly who they are and does who they are work for me?

I love you.

Is love something we feel, say, or both? Do we

feel it every time we say it, or are they just rou-

VINCE SHIFFLETT

tine words that roll off the tongue because we’ve been saying

Am I enjoying the conversation?

From my perspective, there’s a basic essential ideology for true love.

I’ve learned that it is possible to have strong intense feelings for someone but not necessarily be in love with them. Examining your feelings and thoughts are essential for optimal happiness and for finding Mr. or Ms. Right.

them to someone for a while now?

Unconditional

For me, true love is defined in part as full acceptance of an-

other person without trying to change anything about them.

Unconditional love sets no expectations or limitations.

No Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda’s

Don’t “should” on me, and I won’t “should” on you. A little play on words but you get the point.

Nobody’s Boss

It’s never our place to tell another what they can and

cannot do. I am your lover, friend, companion or whatever the relationship is. I am not your parent, and you are not mine.

8

Do I feel the need to tell them what they can and cannot do?

theQatl.com

Having the courage to ask ourselves the important questions, then listen to the answers, can be challenging. As I have grown older, I’m realizing the importance of thinking about my basic essential ideology for true love and my personal definition of true love.

What is going to work for me? What is it that I want out of a relationship, and am I getting it? If not, I must listen to those answers and move on.

What is your def inition of true love? LGBTQ Atlantan Vince Shifflett would love to know. Reach him and read more of his musings at vinceshifflett.com

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Q

10 QUEER THINGS

Rainbow Bright

Take clues from

Halloweens past to solve your costume conundrum

Q ueer

sks a M h t a e D

COSTUMES Com ics C os

Pe r

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e ie Mov

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ore Less is M

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Her Daughter,

HERSELF

Transgender daughter, ‘religious freedom’ efforts inspire firsttime run for state House

By Patrick Saunders JEN SLIPAKOFF IS RUNNING FOR A STATE HOUSE seat in West Cobb for several reasons, but the initial motivation was to protect the rights of her transgender daughter and LGBTQ people across the state.

POLITICS Q floor and called the gender-neutral pronouns in a Kennesaw State University pamphlets “fantasy language.”

Slipakoff thinks Ginny Ehrhart will carry on the anti-LGBTQ attacks of her husband.

“I know she will, because she’s already started talking about it in the press,” Slipakoff said.

Ginny Ehrhart created controversy recently by telling the Marietta Daily Journal that transgender people demand “special rights” and shouldn’t receive them whether they identify “as a man or a moose.”

Slipakoff didn’t mince words in her reaction to the comments.

“To me, that’s a dog whistle for comparing the LGBTQ community to animals, and frankly I won’t stand for that,” she told Project Q. Ginny Ehrhart also listed “ensure religious freedom” as a goal under the heading “protect our West Cobb values” on her campaign website.

Slipakoff said “religious freedom” bills, campus carry bills, and bills that protect the rights of college men accused of sexual assault (which Rep. Ehrhart spearheaded in this year’s legislative session without success) are “a waste of time.”

To further prove it, look no further than the occupation she listed on the secretary of state’s elections website: “advocate.”

Slipakoff served as co-president of PFLAG Atlanta, and she was on the Atlanta Steering Committee for the Human Rights Campaign. Georgia Equality honored her for her advocacy work at their annual awards dinner in 2017. The Human Rights Campaign, Georgia Equality and Georgia Stonewall Democrats endorsed her.

It’s her work — and the honors she has received for it — that led her opponent Ginny Ehrhart to label Slipakoff a one-issue candidate.

“There are more important things to focus on in the legislature,” she said, listing the cost of health insurance, an LGBTQ-inclusive civil rights bill and Medicaid expansion as examples. “I think there’s a lot of other things that would benefit Georgians versus trying to discriminate.”

Jen Slipakoff

“Yes, my impetus for getting involved in politics definitely did stem from my advocacy work for the LGBTQ community,” she told Project Q Atlanta. “But it’s not the only thing that I stand for. I can multi-task. If I’m willing to fight for these controversial issues, I can certainly fight for things like healthcare, like equal pay for equal work, I can fight for improvements to traffic.”

“My platform speaks for itself, and I’m willing to fight for anybody and any issues that are important to my constituents,” she added.

Ehrhart is running in District 36 to replace her retiring husband Earl Ehrhart, the longest-serving Republican in the House and its most outspoken anti-LGBTQ member. Rep. Ehrhart helped gut an LGBTQ-inclusive non-discrimination ordinance in Atlanta, called the gay leader of a progressive group “a pansy,” punished Delta Air Lines for opposing an anti-LGBTQ “religious freedom” bill, mocked transgender students from the House

not get a response.

We reached out to Ginny Ehrhart’s campaign multiple times for an interview but did

If Slipakoff is able to pull out a win, she will do so by breaking a long streak. Rep. Ehrhart has represented his district for nearly 30 years, and the seat has been uncontested for a decade.

She hopes to take advantage of changing demographics in Cobb County. The county has long been a Republican stronghold, with the GOP nominee winning there by about 10 points in the 2008 and 2012 presidential elections — but Hillary Clinton beat Donald Trump in Cobb County in the 2016 election.

As of Sept. 30, Ehrhart had raised $125,000 (including $12,000 she loaned her campaign), and had about $40,000 left on hand.

Slipakoff had raised $115,000 and had $70,000 on hand.

Find updates to LGBTQ news coverage every day at theQatl.com.

PHOTO COURTESY JEN SLIPAKOFF CAMPAIGN theQatl.com

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Q

IN BRIEF

DeKalb teacher found dead, was accused of sex with student

Atlanta settles with anti-LGBTQ fire chief for $1.2 million

By Patrick Saunders

By Patrick Saunders

A 28-YEAR-OLD DEKALB COUNTY teacher accused of having sex with a male student was found dead Wednesday after he apparently shot himself in his car.

THE CITY OF ATLANTA AGREED TO

Zachary Meadors, 28, was found dead in a vehicle at 1210 Scenic Highway in Lawrenceville around 5:15 p.m. on Oct. 17, according to a Gwinnett County police news release. He died Zachary Meadors from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound.

Meadors was last seen on Oct. 13, and his family had filed a missing person report.

He was wanted in DeKalb County on charges of child molestation, computer pornography and child exploitation, according to an incident report. The victim was a male student at Freedom Middle School.

Meadors was supposed to appear at DeKalb County School District headquarters on Oct. 13 to discuss the matter but did not show up, according to the police report.

Before he disappeared, surveillance cameras showed Meadors dropping off three letters and an iPad on the doorstep of his parents’ home in Lawrenceville. The iPad contained videos of Meadors apologizing to his family, according to the police report. There were also letters to family members and to one person whose relationship to Meadors isn’t clear.

In one letter, Meadors apologized “for all the chaos he caused,” according to an incident report. In a second letter, he apologized to his family “for the image they may have of him now.” And in the third letter, he asked for his finances to be split four ways between his parents, his sister and two other people.

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theQatl.com

pay $1.2 million to its former fire chief who was fired after writing a book that

attacked LGBTQ people and called for celebrating their deaths.

On Oct. 15, Atlanta City Council

Kelvin Cochran

passed a measure 11-3 approving the settlement with former Atlanta Fire

Chief Kelvin Cochran. Former Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed fired Cochran in January 2015 over his self-published book “Who Told You That You Were

Naked,” which included anti-LGBTQ statements, and he distributed it among

his city employees. An internal city investigation showed that Cochran violated city policies.

Cochran, an evangelical Christian, sued the city in federal court with the help of anti-LGBTQ legal group Alliance Defending Freedom.

U.S. District Court Judge Leigh Martin May ruled in December 2017 that

Cochran’s firing did not violate his constitutional rights to free speech, free

exercise of religion and due process. However, May also ruled that the city’s

policies requiring pre-clearance for outside employment were unconstitutional.

The 50-page ruling left attorneys for Cochran and Reed claiming victory, but it was Cochran and his attorneys who celebrated following Monday’s city council vote.

“The government can’t force its employees to get its permission before they engage in free speech. It also can’t f ire them for exercising that First Amendment freedom, causing them to lose both their freedom and their livelihoods,” said ADF

Senior Counsel Kevin Theriot, who argued before the court on behalf of Cochran last year. “We are very pleased that the city is compensating Chief Cochran as it

should, and we hope this will serve as a deterrent to any government that would trample upon the constitutionally protected freedoms of its public servants.”

In the book, Cochran lumps homosexuality with pederasty, bestiality and “all

other forms for sexual perversion” and claims they are “unclean” and “whatever

is the opposite of purity.” In the book, Cochran also said the death of LGBTQ people and those who take part in extramarital sex should be celebrated.

Reed stood by his firing of Cochran in a statement to the AJC. “I believed, and continue to believe, that his actions, decisions, and lack of judgment undermined his ability to effectively manage a large, diverse workforce,” Reed said. “At a time when civil rights, human rights and inclusion are under

attack both locally and nationally, this decision sends the wrong message to individuals in the LGBTQ community and to all Atlantans.”

THANK YOU!

THANKS FOR A GREAT 2018 ATL PRIDE! WE’LL SEE YOU ON OCTOBER 12 & 13, 2019

Q

STAGE

New

From top right: ‘Wes’ and ‘Patrick’ in The View Upstairs (Photo by Tyler Ogburn Photography); The Upstairs Lounge after the fire; happier times in 1973; an Upstairs Lounge patron struggles to escape.

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Out Front musical pays tribute to gay bar patrons massacred 40 years before Pulse

By Mike Fleming

I

f your knowledge of queer history doesn’t yet include what happened on June 24, 1973 in New Orleans, let this be a tutorial you’ll never forget. If you only know the outcome of that terrible night, let The View Upstairs, the season opener at Atlanta’s LGBTQ theater opening on Thursday, Oct. 25, personalize the arson attack that killed 32 people.

Four years after Stonewall and on the Sunday evening of the third annual Gay Day Picnic that would eventually become New Orleans Pride, a fire broke out in the French Quarter. A stairwell

‘View’ leading to the UpStairs Lounge was purposely set ablaze and the gate to the main exit locked.

About 125 members of the local Metropolitan Community Church, a fledgling LGBTQ Christian congregation, had eaten dinner and met at the club that evening, and some 60 people were still enjoying drinks there when a blaze engulfed the venue.

About half escaped through a rooftop exit. With metal bars on the windows hindering or impeding escape, some three-dozen people — 29 at the scene and three more in the days that followed — died from fire and/or smoke inhalation.

Lighter fluid and a match were deemed the means, but the perpetrator and motive remain officially unresolved to this day. Some believe it was a straight-up hate crime against LGBTQ patrons.

But due perhaps to societal attitudes toward queers at the time, the investigation left much to be desired, including unanswered questions and a prime suspect ­— a schizophrenic street hustler who was ejected from the UpStairs Lounge earlier that day.

Graphic wire photos of the aftermath swept the nation, though the “gay angle” helped most people avoid the topic or soon forget it. But what about the people behind those charred remains?

The View Upstairs aims to bring them back to life, to remember not only the tragedy, but that real people were behind the history and headlines. The show is set inside the UpStairs Lounge and pays tribute to many of the patrons who frequented the club.

Here is a rundown of the cast of characters.

Wes: A fashion designer in his 20s from 2018. He is fashionable

and outspoken and yet also self-conscious and insecure deep down. He sniffs cocaine recreationally, which may explain him suddenly finding himself at the UpStairs Lounge in 1973 where he first experiences both love and tragedy.

Patrick: A young hustler who may seem innocent at first, but is a lot more manipulative and tough than he appears. Patrick uses his imagination to create stories that distract from the harsher realities of his life. Wes develops a crush on him.

Buddy: A closeted gay in his 50s who is married with children.

Buddy is the resident piano player of the lounge. Although he loves the attention paid to him by the LGBTQ community, he also feels embarrassed and resentful at a part of it.

Willie: A middle-aged black man who is one of the more experienced patrons in the lounge. He sometimes acts as a matchmaker for the other guys in the bar.

Henri: The strict, sassy bartender at the lounge, Henri is an old school butch who takes no nonsense. Whilst she may come across as a bit harsh, she cares very deeply for the community within the bar and acts as a maternal figure.

Freddy: A construction worker by day, and Latino drag queen, Aurora Whorealis, by night. He has a bubbly and over-the-top personality and is popular among all in the bar.

Inez: She is Freddy’s middle aged, single mother and is often mother to the other men in the lounge too. Born in Puerto Rico, she moved her family to America when Freddy was still young and is an avid supporter of Freddy’s drag persona.

Richard/Rita Mae: The priest of the Metropolitan Community (LGBTQ) Church holds sermons in the bar. Although more conservative than other bar patrons, he is still level-headed and warm.

Dale: The arsonist, is a jealous attention seeker and radical in his sexual politics. He’s experienced a good deal of hardship at society’s hand and is bitter and resentful as a result.

Cop: In 1973, he was highly corrupt, violent and homophobic. While still stern in present day, a counterpart has more of a sense of humor, and seems to value justice.

Realtor: The untrustworthy, fake real estate agent who sells Wes the burnt site of The UpStairs Lounge.

In July 2016, a workshop cast performed the songs as a benefit in memory of the 49 victims of the Pulse Nightclub massacre in Orlando. Until that time, the UpStairs Lounge had been the worst death toll in a gay club.

The show opens the 2018-2019 season at Out Front.

“The View Upstairs” opens Thursday, Oct. 25 and runs through Nov. 10. Paul Conroy directs. Visit outfronttheatre.com. The social group Gays for Plays sees the show and meets for a meal beforehand on Friday, Oct. 26. facebook.com/gaysforplays PLAY SOURCE: DRAMATIST PLAY SERVICE theQatl.com

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Q

EVENTS

Halloween

HAPPENINGS

Queer Atlanta shows out with costume parties and contests you don’t want to miss

H

Nightmare on Ponce 4 Costume Contests & Spooky Demos Atlanta Eagle atlantaeagle.com

Halloween proper is during the workweek this year, so the venues, promoters and LGBTQ social groups rev up instead the weekend of Oct. 25 – 28. Of course, there are still a couple of tricks and treats on the day-of-as well, and we’ve got the scoop on those as well.

Nightmare at Midtown Moon Costume Contest with Shavonna B. Brooks Midtown Moon facebook.com/MidtownMoon

By Mike Fleming ow do you turn a ho-hum Halloween into a homo Halloween?

Just add queers! A penchant for costuming and the nearest weekend always create a recipe for guaranteed fun at Atlanta gay bars.

Get your costume together and plan your outings with our picks for the best queer bets on your Halloween to-do list.

THURSDAY, OCT. 25 Haunted Hoedown Country Dancing and costume contest Heretic, 9 p.m. hereticatlanta.com Freak Show Funhouse Halloween Bar every night through Oct. 31 Backroom at Joystick Gamebar facebook.com/joystickgamebar

FRIDAY, OCT. 26 Shalloween With Wussy and Sasha Velour Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com Halloween Glitz & Glam with Charlie Brown Lips, 6 p.m., 9 p.m. and Taboo Show, 11:30 p.m. lipsatl.com Halloween Blowout Cash Prizes & Ghoulish Go-Go Guys Blake’s blakesontheparkatlanta.com 18

Heretic Halloween DJ Mike Pope, $1,500 Contest Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

theQatl.com

Monster Bash Weekend Timberfell Lodge Campground Greenville, TN Costume parties Friday and Saturday timberfell.com Halloweenie Costume Contest & DJ Ree de la Vega Mary’s, 9 p.m. marysatlanta.com Blackout Party Atlanta Eagle, 10 p.m. atlantaeagle.com SATURDAY, OCT. 27 Strange Brew Daydrunk Mary’s, 2:30 p.m. marysatlanta.com Costume Square Dance With Hotlanta Squares City of Light, 7 p.m. facebook.com/groups/ hotlantasquares

Halloween Glitz & Glam with Charlie Brown Lips, 6 p.m., 9 p.m. and Taboo Show, 11:30 p.m. lipsatl.com

The Nightmare Before Christmas Costumes & Go-Go Boys BJ Roosters, 9 p.m. facebook.com/bjroostersatlanta Ten Atlanta Halloween Big Prizes and Amazing Costumes Ten, 9 p.m. tenatlanta.com Halloween Blowout Cash Prizes & Ghoulish Go-Go Guys Blake’s blakesontheparkatlanta.com Friends Halloween Friends on Ponce friendsonponce-atl.com Woofs-Style Halloween Costume Contest, 9 p.m. woofsatlanta.com Villains Free entry with costume Bulldogs facebook.com/bulldogsbaratlanta SUNDAY, OCT. 28 Armorettes Halloween Show Midtown Moon, 8 p.m. facebook.com/thearmorettes

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 31 Joystic Halloween Party Costume fun & Freak Show Funhouse Joystick Gamebar, 8 p.m. facebook.com/joystickgamebar Twisted Broadway Halloween Edition with Edie Cheezeburger Lips Atlanta lipsUSA.com Treat Your Trick Buy One Entry, Get One ½ Off Manifest4U, 8 p.m. – 1 a.m. manifest4u.org Nightmare at Midtown Moon Costume Contest with Trashetta Galore Midtown Moon facebook.com/MidtownMoon Apocalypse Halloween Watch American Horror Story in Costume Midtown Tavern, 10 p.m. midtowntavern.net Ten Atlanta Halloween Costumed Cuties & DJ Beats Ten, 9 p.m. tenatlanta.com Costume Party Contest & Prizes Swinging Richards, 9 p.m. swingingrichards.com Halloween Blowout Cash Prizes & Ghoulish Go-Go Guys Blake’s blakesontheparkatlanta.com Friends Halloween With Regina Friends on Ponce, 8 p.m. friendsonponce-atl.com Find an updated Queer Agenda for the weekend every Thursday at theQatl.com

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ALWAYS A PARTY BU T NEVER A COVER!

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

October 25 - October 30 THURSDAY, OCT. 25

SATURDAY, OCT. 27 Reykjavik

Gay playwright Steve Yockey goes full-tilt supernatural in his lat-

est work, a thriller of sex and danger @ Actor’s Express, 8 p.m. Runs through Nov. 18. actors-express.com

Amy Ray

Half of the legendary Indigo Girls duo brings her solo act and a full band with

opening act H.C. McEntire @ Variety Playhouse, 8 p.m. varietyplayhouse.com

The View Upstairs

Before the Pulse nightclub, a 1973 arson at New Orleans gay bar the UpStairs Lounge was the worst queer massacre in history. This new

musical (photo from off-Broadway production) explores the people who were inside, makes its southeastern premiere, and opens the new season @ Out Front Theatre, 8 p.m. Show runs through Nov. 10. Read our preview in this issue of Q. outfronttheatre.com

Black Feminist Book Club

The clue is in the name. This month, discuss

lesbian author Audre Lorde’s classic Zami: A

New Spelling of My Name @ Charis Books & More, 7 p.m. charisbooksandmore.com

FRIDAY, OCT. 26 AGLCC Fourth Friday

Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce hosts its monthly happy

hour and networking mixer @ UPS,

5:30 p.m. atlantagaychamber.org

FRIDAY, OCT. 26 & SATURDAY, OCT. 27 Halloween Weekend

With the official day in the middle of the week, queer

bars bump you up with costume contests and specials all over town. Read our

party preview in this issue

of Q, and find even more at theQatl.com.

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Queeriety The LGBTQ variety show that you never knew you needed but so did @ Village Theatre, 11 p.m. queeriety.com

SUNDAY, OCT. 28 Emily Kinney The Walking Dead, Masters of Sex and Messiah star is recording again, and she hits Atlanta behind her new Oh Jonathan album on the Same Mistakes Tour. Paul McDonald opens @ Eddie’s Attic, 8 p.m. eddiesattic.com

MONDAY, OCT. 29 Coming Out Monologues KSU’s theater department and its LGBTQ Resource Center team up to present this one-night-only staging of original works on the complications, comedy and chaos of coming out @ Out Front Theatre, 8 p.m. outfronttheatre.com Find even more LGBTQ events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com.

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Q SHOTS

ATLANTA PRIDE IN PIEDMONT PARK

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY LAURA BACCUS

ATLANTA PRIDE IN PIEDMONT PARK

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY LAURA BACCUS theQatl.com

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Q SHOTS

MAYOR’S PRIDE RECEPTION AT CITY HALL

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com 26

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

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Q SHOTS

ATLANTA PRIDE KICKOFF AT GEORGIA AQUARIUM

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

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ATLANTA PRIDE PARADE

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

ATLANTA PRIDE PARADE

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PRIDE WEEKEND AT MY SISTER’S ROOM

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PHOTOS BY SHER PRUITT

NOVEMBER 9-11, 2018

COWBOYS-N-BOOTS/BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN WEEKEND

Country music and MEN in tight Wranglers! A country recipe for HOT fun!

COWPOKE HO-DOWN on Saturday at The Tavern with country music. Dust off your hats and get back on that horse! It’s going to be a LONG HARD RIDE! NOVEMBER 22-25, 2018

Thanksgiving Weekend

Traditional menu and a gathering of great friends. Special Gobble-Gobble Go-Go Dance Parties Friday and Saturday nights!

NOVEMBER 30-DECEMBER 2, 2018

17th Annual Christmas Open House

Our gift to you to thank you for a great year! Holiday appetizer buffet on Saturday evening at The Tavern. 30% discount on all rooms for the weekend.

Annual Santa Bear and Sexy Elves Party at the Tavern. Bring a wrapped Christmas ornament for the for the ornament exchange. Happy Holidays to all our guests!

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PRIDE BLOCK PARTY AT TEN

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

theQatl.com

Fresh content served daily

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PRIDE CLOSER WITH GA BOY AT OPERA

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

2103 Faulkner Rd NE, Atlanta, GA 30324 404.549.2815 | www.manifest4u.org

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treat your trick Wednesday, October 31, 2018 8:00pm - 1:00am All Tricks 1/2 Price Bring a Friend (or a Trick) and they get in for 1/2 Price!

Q

THEQ?!

Hooking Up is

HARD TO DO

Big-kid fishing in a millennial pond, wanting a commitment, and worried about HIV

You say you don’t want the hassle, but Millennials are all about the hassle. It’s not their generation, just their age. It’s all new to explore and experiment with flirting and dating for them, just like you before your long-term relationship.

But I get it. Everybody understands NSA sex. Sex without any hassle at all is called porn.

Q

I’m not interested in playing the field but playing house.

How can I avoid people who want a fling and find those who want commitment?

Q

Dear Free:

Rather than dating seriously, I thought a little fun with younger people who weren’t ready to settle down would be good. Boy was I wrong. One guy was hot the first time, a mess the second. Another I’m working on but he is proving elusive.

Q

What is the deal with millennials? I was in a 10-year relationship that ended, and I’m back on the dating scene in my 40s­—well at least back on the tricking scene.

Either things have changed, people have changed, or I have changed. Maybe all three.

There are tons of people out and about and online, but they’re too interested in being chatted up. It’s so much work! I remember my younger, sluttier days with fondness, but I deserve a medal for all the time I put into these people.

Was it always this hard? Where do my longtime single friends find the time and the energy? I just want the fun without the hassle.

Dear Aging: Life is hard. If you deserve a medal, everyone deserves one, and I don’t do Millennial Participation Medals. How about a GenX Middle Age Cookie — ­ sweet, but not enough to spoil you.

You probably just forgot, but tricking is a full-time job. You have to prioritize it, make time for it, and keep at it. Maybe it lost its luster after a real relationship, because the payoff doesn’t look as good as it used to — in either the pursuit or the prize.

For some, the actual sex is less the draw than the chase. Others tell themselves they’re looking for a relationship, or play other mind games on themselves to keep up the investment in random flings and avoid the difficult stuff of meaningful 38

engagements. Maybe this used to be you, but you’re older now.

theQatl.com

My best advice is always the simplest: Communicate. In the same conversation in which you express your interest, gauge their interest in more than sex. If you don’t match up, be willing to throw them back and fish for another catch.

Things are hot and heavy, and all the clothes are off.

We’re dirty-talking up a storm, and then he stops me for a second. Then he changes his mind and says “nothing.”

We do the deed and he leaves. Then it hits me, what if he’s HIV-positive and didn’t tell me? Help!

Dear Late: Even if we all agree that everyone should disclose his HIV status to sex partners every time, let’s also admit that it’s difficult. And hello, there’s definitely no use being flabbergasted if you never directly asked the question.

Yes, poz people should disclose their status, and so should neg people to the best of their knowledge, but let’s not kid ourselves. Only you can protect you, and that means having “the talk” before the dirty talk. Grow up, put it out there, and get back to what you really want to talk about.

You ask, what if he’s HIV-positive and didn’t tell you, maybe even lied to you by omission? Let me ask you: What if he says he’s negative and just doesn’t know he’s actually positive? You are still in charge of your own behaviors.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

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