November 15, 2018
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Chase Dreams without FEEDING QUEER FEARS He Has Our Backs: ACLU’S SEAN YOUNG Wins, Losses & Your POST-ELECTION BLUES
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Work vs.
WERK
The serious business of LGBTQ rights and the importance of letting your hair down THE GOOD NEWS FOR US HERE AT Q is that our work is never done. GayTL-iens are always up to something worth covering and the forces that support and oppose us are too. Even better than that is knowing that queer playtime is never far and never short of options either. As with every week, this issue of Q celebrates both sides of LGBTQ local life. The work and the werk are front and center, but this week is another celebration as well: Our first anniversary. As we hurtle into the future, we couldn’t help but glance back at some of our best covers and coverage by way of the weekly 10 Queer Things feature.
ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE BUCK COOKE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER MARK S. KING HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071
MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER
We couldn’t be prouder of expanding the queer media landscape in the last year, or more excited about the opportunities to do even more in 2019 and beyond.
In the serious business of the LGBTQ movement, Q Voices calls out racism within queer ranks. Q Politics celebrates the out and proud winners in the Nov. 6 election, and we offer a rundown of the allies and foes who rose to and fell from power. Even in the malaise of Atlanta’s blue island in a red sea state, there’s an increasing amount of hope in the results this time. Speaking of hope, the ACLU’s Sean Young is a local queer you should know. Meet him and follow his path to freedom as a hero defending what’s right, including the unlikely starting point of enrolling himself in so-called “conversion therapy” to try and correct his sexual orientation in this week’s Q & A column. But we ask you, what’s doing the good work worth if you can’t also werk it good? Q Events welcomes Divertidos, the newest annual party, to the nightlife scene and lays out what dancing queens can expect from its weekend-long party series. We also check in on recent events in Q Shots galleries, and look toward the next round of happenings in the Queer Agenda calendar of LGBTQ events. While the content and concepts in Q magazine change each week, some things stay the same. You can always count on queer conundrums in The Q advice column to wrap our weekly offerings, you can always reach out to me via mike@theQatl. com, and you can always catch the latest news of LGBTQ interest every day on our Project Q Atlanta homesite at theQatl.com. theQatl.com
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
VOLUME 2 ISSUE 1 NOVEMBER 15,2018
10 QUEER THINGS Queer Year
COVER
25 10
Party Time
Divertidos! Latinx Pride Weekend NEWS
13
Sweeping Change
28 All Stripes
Doraville law sets new metro standard Q&A
Ex-Ex-Gay
18
From conversion therapy to queer champion
30 Purple Reign
FEATURES Q Voices
8
Q News
13
Q Shots
29
Queer Agenda The Q
23 38
38
34 Reading Lips theQatl.com
7
Q
VOICES
But It Actually Is
ABOUT RACE
A call for racial justice in the LGBTQ rights movement
The most highly publicized cases of black men and women
who lost their lives as a result of police overreach do not appear to be LGBTQ, but for those who are black and queer, these deaths hit close to home because it could have easily been us. Does there need to be an LGBTQ equivalent of
Philando Castile or Eric Garner for folks to truly acknowledge the challenges faced by LGBTQ people of color on a daily basis?
AMERICAN CULTURAL AND POLITICAL SYSTEMS have failed time and time again to uphold the most basic tenet of democracy, that of equality. The systems are indeed broken and have proven deeply dysfunctional, consistently dangerous and quite literally deadly.
So even as we grieve countless deaths of black people at the
Black people, including those who are LGBTQ, bear the brunt of racial disparities in every facet of our criminal justice institutions, for example, from arrests to sentencing. Nowhere is this more evident than in the killing of black people by police. As early as elementary school, black children are overly policed, resulting in the spectrum of criminalization referred to as the school-to-prison pipeline.
movement, these organizations must own that they have not
hands of systems that fail them, this is a call for a greater commitment from LGBTQ organizations to address racial justice and anti-black violence in their activism and advocacy. As a
movement inspired by and indebted to the black civil rights
shown up historically or in the present moment sufficiently to address racial justice.
There is a political responsibility if not a
moral obligation to show up better and do
more. If we are going to dismantle injustice in our country, there should be renewed commitments to fight for racial justice and end
anti-black violence as part and parcel of the ERIC In 2016, Colin Kaepernick made his nowLGBTQ movement. PA U L K famous stand against police brutality, kneeling during the national anthem in protest of the violence Here’s where we start: directed towards black people by police officers. The of• Collaborate and partner with black-led organizations ten-heated debate over his protest has focused on the act rather than the reasons. In 2018, the owner of Burkhart’s gay bar in Atlanta not only made racist social media posts, but wouldn’t back down from them and lost his business.
We are living in a historic era from which LGBTQ organizations and people should not back away. Our institutions have been mostly silent on the issue, though LGBTQ folks have long been the focus of harassment and brutality at the hands of the police. In fact, police raids on queer establishments have always galvanized the LGBTQ rights movement, a movement modeled after the black civil rights movement.
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to address racism in all societal systems.
• Overcome specific anti-blackness in the LGBTQ movement.
• Work toward more equitable distribution of resources to support racial equity in movement work.
• Ensure more black people are represented in leadership of LGBTQ organizations.
Poet Audre Lorde said it best: “There is no such thing as
a single-issue struggle, because we do not live single-issue
At some point, there must be recognition that racial justice is an LGBTQ rights issue, that racial disparities are LGBTQ rights issues. The murdering of black people by police is an LGBTQ rights issue.
lives.” There is no singular LGBTQ community. No singular
Now is the time.
policy, race and sexuality.
theQatl.com
LGBTQ history. No singular set of LGBTQ issues. The quicker we embrace that, the better off we will be.
Eric T. Paulk is an advocate working at the intersections of law,
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10 QUEER THINGS
UEER Q
Thank you for
10
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YEAR
an amazing first year, Atlanta
By Mike Fleming & John Nail
Q MAGAZINE ENTERS ITS second year with grateful memories of the people we are here for — you! Celebrate with us as we look back on 10 of our most popular issues in the last 12 months of covers and coverage.
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NEWS Q
History
MADE
Doraville’s LGBTQ nondiscrimination ordinance lays groundwork for other metro cities By Patrick Saunders THE CITY OF DORAVILLE PASSED A SWEEPING nondiscrimination ordinance to protect LGBTQ people, making it only the second city in Georgia with such protections. “What we did tonight really sends a big statement out to the region. It’s a new day,” said Stephe Koontz, the transgender city councilmember who spearheaded the effort. “We’re maybe a different place than people had painted us as, and I think that we can be a crown jewel for the north side of Atlanta. I think this is a start of that.” The Doraville City Council passed the measure by a vote of five to one on Nov. 5. The policy prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in private employment, housing and public accommodations. The city of Atlanta is the only other municipality with those protections. The ordinance also prohibits discrimination based on race, religion, color, sex, disability, national origin, ancestry or military status. Before the Nov. 5 vote, Doraville’s nondiscrimination policy only had protections for LGBTQ city employees. Some 60 jurisdictions across Georgia offer nondiscrimination policies that protect employees against discrimination based on sexual orientation. About 15 of those jurisdictions include gender identity as well. “I think it’s a first step of many,” Doraville Mayor Donna Pittman told Project Q Atlanta. “Words are pretty cheap to say that this is what we are, but to actually show proof tonight that this is what we support and this is what we believe in … I think it’s a wonderful thing moving the city forward and I hope that other cities can follow suit and do this as well.” Doraville City Councilmember Pam Fleming was the only “no” vote on the ordinance, saying that it should be a resolution instead of an ordinance that’s part of city law. METRO ATLANTA CITIES JOINING EFFORT Doraville’s ordinance comes after Koontz worked on it for six months with civil rights groups and attorneys. The next step
Photo by Patrick Saunders
Stephe Koontz
is using it as a model to bring to other metro Atlanta cities. Koontz said she expects Clarkston to pass its ordinance before the end of the year, that she has the support of half of the Chamblee City Council as well, and that she’s talking to officials in East Point, Decatur, Dunwoody and Brookhaven about adopting similar measures. Doraville City Councilmember Joseph Geierman became emotional after the ordinance passed. He said that he wasn’t accepted for being gay where he grew up. “It means a lot to me to know that Doraville is a place that welcomes me and my husband,” Geierman said. To file a complaint under the ordinance, Doraville residents must alert the city clerk within 60 days of the alleged act of discrimination. A $50 filing fee is required, but that fee may be waived later in the process. Both parties go to voluntary non-binding mediation. If the issue isn’t resolved there, the complaint is referred to a hearing officer. If the officer finds a violation has occurred, they can fine the offending party up to $500 for each violation. The “non-prevailing party” is responsible for paying the mediator and hearing officer fees. Jeff Graham, executive director of Georgia Equality, said he was “proud of and grateful for” Koontz’s work. “Not only does it put Doraville solidly on the map as a community that values diversity and inclusion, it sets a new standard for smaller municipalities — letting them know that they can pass the same type of protections that residents of the City of Atlanta have enjoyed for nearly two decades,” Graham said. “Her efforts, along with those of Councilman Joseph Geierman, to build bipartisan support for this policy prove the importance of having out LGBTQ elected officials at all levels of government.” Find the latest local LGBTQ news stories every day at theQatl.com. theQatl.com
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Q
NEWS IN BRIEF
Georgia lawmaker kicks trans people out of Pence-Kemp rally held signs saying “Hell is a place on Earth” and “Hot garbage BBQ” while Carter spoke.
By Patrick Saunders U.S. REP. BUDDY CARTER, AN ANTI-LGBTQ LAWmaker from Savannah, kicked two transgender people out of a rally in Savannah in which Vice President Mike Pence was stumping for Brian Kemp. The incident happened on Nov. 1 during one of three rallies Pence attended across the state to support the Republican nominee for Georgia governor. Transgender organizer Rainé Eliza posted video of the encounter on Facebook (Watch at theQatl.com). They told Project Q Atlanta that the trouble started soon after they and three friends passed through security and into the convention hall.
At the Pence rally, Carter greeted Eliza and the others, saying, “Good to see y’all again. Enjoyed having y’all the other night. Did you enjoy the barbecue?” U.S. Rep. Buddy Carter
Carter said he had no comment and walked away. Then a state trooper approached Eliza and the others and asked them to leave.
“Immediately, Buddy Carter saw us and alerted one of his staff members,” Eliza said. Carter represents the 1st Congressional District in Savannah. He supports the anti-LGBTQ First Amendment Defense Act and he is against transgender people serving in the military. “Obviously his politics don’t represent anything that protects or centers people like me, black folks or poor people or anyone,” Eliza said. Eliza said Carter recognized them from a “GOP Victory BBQ” earlier that week. At that event, Eliza and several others
Eliza asked him, “What do you think about trans people?”
Vice President Mike Pence
“You guys were disrupting an event the other day and the staff here, they want you gone or you’re going to be arrested for trespassing,” the trooper said, according to the video.
Eliza and the others initially refused, but then agreed to leave, yelling “You cannot erase trans people” as they walked out. A man in a “Gays for Trump” t-shirt walked by them and said, “I’d love to though.” The crowd booed the group as they left the convention hall. chatting, they met at the Intown Suites on Roswell Road in Marietta. The victim said he was then overpowered by the man and sexually assaulted, according to Cobb police. “We are hoping someone in the public can help us out with this one before this guy strikes again,” Cobb police Sgt. Wayne Delk told Project Q Atlanta.
Man sexually assaulted in Marietta hotel after gay app meetup By Matt Hennie COBB POLICE ARE SEARCHING FOR A MAN WHO allegedly sexually assaulted another man after the two chatted on a gay social networking app and met in a Marietta hotel room. On Nov. 6, police investigators asked for the public’s help to identify a man likely in his late 20s who sexually assaulted the victim within minutes of the two men communicating on the phone app. The two men met on the app on the morning of Oct. 7. The victim told police that within five minutes of the two men 14
theQatl.com
Police would not release the victim’s age or say which gay cruising app the men used. But police did release images of the suspect as he entered and left the motel (photos left). A time stamp on one image indicates the suspect left the hotel about 10:15 a.m. The victim reported the alleged sexual assault in person at Cobb police headquarters about 11 a.m., Delk said. Here’s how Cobb police describe the suspect, according to AJC: The suspect is described as a 26-30 year old African American male with a medium to dark complexion, 5’10”-6’0” in height, and weighing roughly 200-230lbs. On the day of the incident the suspect was wearing the below pictured clothing and had a full beard that was short in length. Anyone with information about the case is asked to call Cobb police. Find the latest local LGBTQ news stories every day at theQatl.com.
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Q
POLITICS
Queer
WAVE
to the Georgia legislature after his 2016 win in the Lawrenceville district.
Matthew Wilson STATE HOUSE DISTRICT 80 Wilson beat Republican incumbent Meagan Hanson 52.46 percent to 47.54 percent to take this hotly contested seat in Brookhaven. Wilson becomes only the second man ever elected as an openly gay candidate to the state legislature. Sam Park was the first in 2016.
Election victories give Georgia most openly gay legislators ever By Patrick Saunders
THE GEORGIA LEGISLATURE NOW HAS THE LARGEST number of openly LGBTQ members ever and a gay civic activist made history in Gwinnett on Election Day. They were part of a slew of down-ballot races decided on Nov. 6 that will have a high impact on local government for years to come. Ben Ku became the first openly LGBTQ person on the Gwinnett County Commission and joined Marlene Fosque as the first Democrats on the commission in over 30 years. Five LGBTQ candidates faced voters in state House races with two pulling out wins. That includes Sam Park — who will return to his Lawrenceville seat for a second term — and gay attorney Matthew Wilson, who flipped a metro Atlanta seat from Republican to Democrat. LGBTQ state Reps. Park Cannon, Karla Drenner and Renitta Shannon also won, but they faced no general election opposition and will start new terms at the Gold Dome in January. With Cannon, Drenner, Shannon, Park and now Wilson, that makes five openly LGBTQ members of the state legislature – the most Georgia has ever had.
Sam Park STATE HOUSE DISTRICT 101 Park soundly beat Republican Valerie Clark in a rematch of their 2016 race. He won by 17 points and earned a second term in office. “We won big last night!,” Park tweeted. “Thank you House District 101 for all your support and trust!” Park was the first openly gay and first Korean-American man elected 16
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Hanson – who introduced an LGBTQ-inclusive hate crime bill earlier this year – beat staunch LGBTQ ally Taylor Bennett to flip the seat from blue to red in 2016. Wilson’s win flips it back in the Democrats’ favor. “Feeling truly honored this morning to have the trust and support of the citizens of #HD80,” Wilson tweeted.
Ben Ku GWINNETT BOARD OF COMMISSIONERS Ku beat Republican incumbent Lynette Howard by nine points to win the District 2 seat on the Gwinnett County Commission. Ku is the first ever openly LGBTQ person on the commission. Marlene Fosque also won, giving the Gwinnett Commission its first Democratic members since 1986. “Part of the impetus for running was that I do not feel that minorities are well represented in the county that has never had a minority — other than women — on the board of commissioners,” Ku told Project Q in May. “And there isn’t even a diversity of thought when a county that voted for Hillary and Obama hasn’t had a Democrat on the board in over 30 years.”
And the rest… State Rep. Bill Hitchens beat gay veteran Adam Bridges 64 percent to 36 percent in Rincon’s state House District 161. State Rep. Mandi Ballinger beat gay entrepreneur Adam Wynn by 50 points in Canton, Ga., District 23. Lesbian candidate Julie Jordan’s bid to deny Don Hogan a second term fell short by 16 points in St. Simons District 179.
LGBTQ allies and foes cut election close A “RELIGIOUS FREEDOM” BILL SPONSOR, A WOMAN who is against gay adoptions and a woman who suggested
quarantining people living with HIV were all defeated in the Nov. 6 elections, but the margins ofvictory in two of those races is less than one percent, making those anti-LGBTQ candidates eligible to request a recount..
Two hotly contested congressionalraces in metro Atlanta went
down to the wire, with one still not decided at press time. In the
state legislature, one LGBTQ ally fended off a Republican challenger and another flipped a different state Senate seat in metro Atlanta from red to blue.
Here’s a rundown of Atlanta’s allies vs. foes races. STATE HOUSE DISTRICT 37 IN MARIETTA Democratic challenger Mary Frances Williams beat state Rep.
Sam Teasley by less than 150 votes, for a tally of 50.31 percent to 49.69 percent.
At press time, Williams had not declared victory and Teasley has not conceded.
Teasley has pushed anti-LGBTQ “religious freedom” bills for the last five years with little success. Teasley is the third law-
maker who made “religious freedom” bills their signature issue
From left: Betty Price, Sam Teasley and Karen Handel
Karen Handel 50.46 percent to 49.55 percent, withjust under 3,000 votes separating the two. Handel conceded the race on Nov. 8.
In statewide campaigns in 2006, 2010 and 2014, Handel went on anti-gay benders and disavowed her LGBTQ-friendly po-
sitions of the past. Her worst moments came in 2010 when she blasted civil unions, same-sex marriage and even agreed that adoptions by gay people should be banned.
Four years later, she doubled-down and went as far as suggesting
that being gay is a choice. She doubled down in opposition to gay adoption yet again in her successful bid for Congress in 2017.
to lose elections this year.
7TH CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT IN FORSYTH AND GWINNETT COUNTIES
STATE HOUSE DISTRICT 48 IN ROSWELL
At press time, U.S. Rep. Rob Woodall was ahead of Georgia
Mary Robichaux beat state Rep. Betty Price 50.28 percent to
State University professor Carolyn Bourdeaux, 50.16 percent
49.72 percent.
to 49.84 percent, with a difference of less than 1,000 votes.
Price infamously suggested that people living with HIV in
Bourdeaux’s campaign emailed supporters on Nov. 7 saying the
Georgia should be quarantined.
race was too close to call and that she wasn’t giving up. Woodall
In addition to the quarantine comments Price made in a
one percent, making Bourdeaux eligible to request a recount.
House committee meeting, she said, “It seems to me it’s al-
most frightening the number of people who are living that are potentially carriers, well they are carriers, with the potential
to spread, whereas in the past they died more readily and then at that point they are not posing a risk. So we’ve got a huge population posing a risk if they are not in treatment.”
Price is the wife of disgraced former Trump cabinet member Tom Price.
6TH CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT IN METRO ATLANTA Political newcomer Lucy McBath beatanti-LGBTQ U.S. Rep.
had yet to declare victory either. The margin of victory is within In 2016, Woodall signed onto a letter blasting federal guidelines on protecting transgender students. He later co-sponsored the anti-LGBTQ First Amendment Defense Act. ALLY VICTORIES LGBTQ ally Jen Jordan handily beat Republican challenger Leah Aldredge 58 percent to 42 percent in state Senate
District 6 representing Northwest Atlanta. Former state Rep. Sally Harrell, who also has an out LGBTQ child, beat Re-
publican incumbent Fran Millar by 10 points in Dunwoody’s District 40.
theQatl.com
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Q
Q&A Hooked on
JUSTICE
‘Conversion therapy’ survivor Sean Young fights back By Patrick Saunders SEAN YOUNG RODE A LONG PATH TO ACCEPTING his sexual orientation, but once he did, he made up for lost time by advocating for LGBTQ rights across the country. Among his accomplishments, the director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Georgia has spoken out against anti-LGBTQ adoption bills at the state Capitol, advocated for LGBTQ-inclusive civil rights legislation and written articles on “conversion therapy.”
process and to gain the self-confidence I now have.
I was “lucky” to have gone through that experience as an
adult. I cannot imagine what it must be like for children to
go through this process because their parents force them to. What initially made you want to get into the legal profession? This is a very embarrassing story. I knew I wanted to fight for justice in the world, but I didn’t know how. Law was always an abstraction for me, and I was never very good at debate.
However, my first brush with legal practice was in junior year of college, when I ran for student government president.
I received the second most votes and lost, but due to ambiguous wording in the bylaws, it was unclear whether I was supposed to be in a runoff instead. I then challenged the ruling before the “student judiciary” (don’t laugh). I lost.
But I was hooked. I knew then and there that law would be the tool for me to help bring social change.
The Houston transplant to Atlanta knows more than most about that last subject — he put himself through “conversion therapy” as a young adult, believing that being gay was a sin. But he found his way through it and tells Q he considers himself “lucky.”
What moment are you most proud of in your work to date?
Young opens up about his “conversion therapy” experience, fighting for voting rights and more in our latest Q&A.
evening early voting schedule in the state of Ohio, and here
What was “conversion therapy” like for you? I joined an online “conversion therapy” group when I was 21 and attended several “ex-gay” conferences because I believed it was sinful to love whom I loved. I even started some informal conversion therapy groups of my own, which I now deeply regret. The experience was emotionally exhausting and forced me to wrestle deeply with my relationship with God and the beliefs to which I had clung so tightly just to get through life. While I was under no illusions that I could “become straight,” I believed that I was consigned to a life without romance or intimacy, and I struggled mightily with depression during that time. 18
It has taken many long and painful years to come out of that
theQatl.com
I am most proud of my work in voting rights around the
country. Through cases I have litigated, I have made it easier for people to obtain ID in Wisconsin for voting purposes, established a first-in-the-nation statewide weekend and
in Georgia, prevented the removal of 160,000 voters from
the active voter rolls and blocked the shutdown of seven out of nine polling places in Randolph County.
What’s something people would be surprised to find out about you?
Even though I enjoy being a lawyer and litigating in the courtroom, I actually dislike conflict and arguing with
people. Sometimes, you have no choice but to fight, but my inclination is usually to find ways to work with people with whom you disagree to achieve mutually-shared goals.
I enjoy exploring creative ways to find common ground with those “on the other side.” All of us share a basic humanity.
Visit American Civil Liberties Union of Georgia at acluga.org.
‘While I was under no illusions that I could “become straight,” I believed that I was consigned to a life without romance or intimacy, and I struggled mightily with depression during that time.’
Photo by Russ Youngblood theQatl.com
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Q
THE QUEER AGENDA SATURDAY, NOV. 17
The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week
Trans Pwr Fest
November 15 - November 21
Southern Fried Queer Pride presents this
THURSDAY, NOV. 15
one-day, all-trans, music, art, discussion
and community festival @ The Bakery, all
day. southernfriedqueerpride.com
Belong Lunch A newly re-energized version of the Rainbros social group called Belong hosts lunch for all comers @ Roxx, 12 noon. www.belong.lgbt Art Opening The works of photographer Zachary Toth, painter sQuishiepuss (photo) and abstract artist Kevin Penny adorn the walls @ Guac y Margys, 7 p.m. guacymargys.com
ASO: LGBTQ Night
A Night On Point Atlanta The Point Foundation raises money for its annual LGBTQ scholarship programs @ Eclipse di Luna, 7:30 p.m. pointfoundation.org
Your discount ticket to Atlanta Symphony Orchestra’s Tchaikovsky
Thrill Ride benefits HRC and gets you into the post-concert reception @ Woodruff Arts Center, 8 p.m. hrcatlanta.com
FRIDAY, NOV. 16
Margarita Ball
Gays for Plays: Reykjavik
Drink up to benefit For The Kid in All of
Theater queens gather before and
Us @ Park Central Condominiums,
after this sexy thriller by Steve Yockey
8 p.m. forthekid.org
@ Actor’s Express, 6:45 p.m.
ManShaft
actors-express.com
Dress for the Levi-Leather edition of
DJ Diablo Rojo’s quarterly dance party
FRIDAY, NOV. 16 THROUGH SUNDAY, NOV. 18 Divertidos!
Have fun during this new circuit weekend of dance parties billed as ATL Latinx Pride
at Heretic, Xion, Westside Cultural Arts Center and District
ATL, driven by DJs like
Allysson Luis (photo). Read our preview in this issue of Q.
future-atlanta.com
@ Heretic, 9 p.m. hereticatlanta.com
TUESDAY, NOV. 20 Walk n Talk
The Belong social group, formerly Rainbros, gathers @ Piedmont Park 14th Street Gate, 6 p.m. www.belong.lgbt Midnight in a Perfect World Local writers Collin Kelley
(photo) and Katie Farris read from Kelley’s new book of poetry @
Charis Books & More, 7:30 p.m. charisbooksandmore.com
Find even more LGBTQ events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com.
theQatl.com
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EVENTS Q
¡FUN! AT THE INTERSECTIONS
Latinx Pride shines with DJs, drinks, dancing and ‘Divertidos!’
theQatl.com
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Q
EVENTS, Continued
G
By Mike Fleming ird your loins, circuit queens. A debut dance party is coming for another slot on Atlanta’s annual dance calendar, and this one comes with a message of inclusivity.
“Divertidos! Latinx Pride is an event celebrating all the intersections of identity — race, nationality, language, sexual orientation, gender and culture,” say organizers. “Many people, wherever they may originate from, Colombia, Dominican Republic, Argentina, etc.— there’s not always a place for those who aren’t from here to come in and say, ‘I’m proud and I’m part of this community,’” the team behind the event says. “Divertidos was created so that we have the chance to come together and celebrate being proud of the diversity in our community.” It also comes at the intersection of gay Atlanta party people that local queers already know. Three event promoters, five DJs and four venues join forces to make it happen, and they’re hoping for a blowout you’ll return for year after year. The inaugural weekend of parties on Nov. 16-18 is billed as “Atlanta’s newest circuit event.”
Ivan Gomez plans to let you have it at a kickoff event to set the tone for the whole weekend. Atlanta DJ Karlitos picks up the reigns at 3 a.m. across the parking lot at BJ Roosters for the Xion Afterparty until 6 a.m. Rest up, because Divertidos! is just getting started. The hype over Nacho Chapado’s Atlanta debut is not to be missed at Westside Cultural Arts Center. Just when you think you can’t handle any more, head back over to BJs for Xion with the one and only Alex Acosta, an internationally heralded gay DJ known to keep the party going into the wee hours and beyond. By now, you need to recover. Good thing there is a recovery brunch at Las Margaritas with a prix fixe bottomless menu of drinks and food. You also look like you need another party. Don’t argue, just get your butt over to Atlanta District for the Divertidos Closing party with DJ Allysson Luis on the decks.
WHY? Because we like you! No, wait. That’s a whole other thing… Actually, it’s because diversity is everything, and Pride shouldn’t be limited to one group or demographic, according to Gutierrez, Young and Collins. “Divertidos means ‘fun,’ and it’s about empowering our voices to be heard and reminding those out there that it’s OK to not feel or look the same as others,” they say. “Be different and be proud!”
While you prep your looks and your stamina for three solid days of sundown-to-sunup partying, here are the specifics that dancing bears need to know:
WHO Event promoters JD Gutierrez and Keith Young of Midtown Tavern, Ga Boy Productions and next year’s new Future nightclub hook up with buddy and Heretic general manager Alan Collins. Naturally, Heretic is on the venue list, but that’s just the tip. Pumping beats throughout the weekend are queer Latinx maestros Ivan Gomez, Karlitos, Nacho Chapado, Alex Acosta and Allysson Luis. The group represents a mix of international sensations, legendarily loved locals and newbies making a splash.
WHAT Hello? Have you been listening? Dance parties!
WHEN & WHERE The fun starts on Friday, Nov. 16 at Heretic. That’s where DJ 26
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WHAT ELSE? You’re sold, so the rest is all logistics, and we have your hookup. Paying at the door is so time consuming, so get your individual tickets and weekend passes in advance at future-atlanta.com. For Spanish-speaking Divertidos! revelers, here’s a quick taste en español: Divertidos! Latinx Pride es un evento que celebra todas las intersecciones de identidad: raza, nacionalidad, idioma, orientación sexual, género y cultura. Permita que nuestras voces se escuchen y recuérdeles a los que están por ahí que está bien no sentirse o verse igual que los demás. ¡Sé diferente y sé orgulloso! Divertidos! Latinx Pride takes place Nov. 16-18 at Heretic, BJ Roosters/Xion, Westside Cultural Arts Center and District Atlanta. Buy advance tickets at future-atlanta.com.
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ATLANTA UNITED PARTY WITH ALL STRIPES AT GEORGIA BEER GARDEN
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ATLANTA REIGN BEER BUST AT OSCAR’S
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STONEWALL BAR ASSOCIATION GALA
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LIPS 5TH ANNIVERSARY EXTRAVAGANZA
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THEQ?!
Thrill of THE CHASE
The fear of feelings and the fear of what other people think are holding you back
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For most of my queer life, I’ve been the butt of jokes for being all about the chase and not actual relationships. I laughed it off as jealousy, but now I realize it’s kinda true. I start losing interest the moment there’s a hint that the quest is conquered. Even before sex, the more someone hits on me, the more I wonder if they’re needy, have no confidence, or aren’t really that attractive. If it’s really just about sex, feelings kill my mood. If it’s real dating, I can force myself to last about three months — because I really do want a relationship — but when I hear “I love you,” I’m out. Like, every time. I used to be proud of my hit-em-and-quit-em reputation, but lately the pattern is just depressing. Dear Blind: Your emotional baggage is heavy, so let’s unpack some of it. It’s common to go “all in” with infatuation at the beginning, when the sexual chemistry and novelty are at their most potent. It’s also totally normal for the excitement to wane. It’s less common for people to give up entirely. Most trade the initial interest for an interest in sharing their daily lives, enjoying the camaraderie of a partnership, and making this person a special part of their ongoing priorities. Whether from fear of abandonment, internalized homophobia, sheer narcissism, or a myriad other reasons, you have a mental block to that last part happening. You say that you really want a relationship, but a lot of your letter sounds like excuses to stay out of them. Consider finding help to embrace this: Feelings are good. Accepting them in others is key, but getting in touch with yours is a priority before you lead another person down a road to disappointment. With a little work and a little help, you can break the pattern.
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Bondage porn is hot, but I’ve only had vanilla sex. What’s going on in my head is way different than what’s going on in the bed.
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I’m afraid to try BDSM. The fetish folks I see at Pride fuel my fantasies, but also my fears. They’re intimidating. I’m also afraid of being seen as a freak. People ridicule fetishists behind their backs, and I’m afraid of being lumped in with them. Should I try it anyway? Dear Afraid: Fears get a bad rap, but they’re not all created equally. Natural “fight or flight” responses kick in as a warning to evaluate your situation. The problem comes if you stop there. If you accept fear as a reason to avoid circumstances without assessing them and making an informed decision, you’re stuck. BDSM wants to use fear to your sexual advantage. Turned on and intimidated at the same time? That’s the point. Adrenaline pumps, you’re short of breath, and your sweet relief comes from giving in. You owe it to yourself to try it. A whole community of people can teach you about passion via consent and trust. But some fears need to be faced and conquered. Fear of what others think? Forget it. Naysayers might use their own fears to ostracize people that they don’t understand, and we can’t make our personal decisions based on those people. The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com. ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON
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