Q Magazine Atlanta | May 2, 2019

Q

May 2, 2019

Mayor Pete, LGBTQ Hope & Fear of Butch Q ueens

inform | inspire

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Felix Maritaud Proves Sauvage LGBTQ Doc Out to Fill Trans Healthcare Gaps

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Q News Q Shots Queer Agenda The Q The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM

Push

& PULL

RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM

Queer Atlanta poises parties, politics, performances and people

ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM

THAT BLARING HUM YOU HEAR like a freight train hurtling past is the month of May. If you thought April was busy, Atlanta kicks LGBTQ events into overdrive in the coming weeks, and it all starts with Cinco de Mayo.

ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE BUCK COOKE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BILL DICKINSON JIM FARMER BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER VAVA VROOM NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

Atlanta has always had a particular knack, even over larger cities, for holding space for a wide array of queer diversity. The realms we preside over and interests we represent reach from the arts to City Hall, sports to nightlife to business, religion to rights, culture to communities.

That makes Q’s job representing it an ever-changing collage of queer tastes, interests and demoMIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER graphics. We get to watch and report on any given week, including this one, as LGBTQ folks simultaneously push the equality movement forward while pulling out the stops on parties and performances.

This week’s Q is brought to you by Cinco de Mayo and the gay bars and restaurants inviting you to let your hair down. Check out our Q Cover feature on the decidedly American Mexican holi-gay for nearly a dozen events on May 5, including Sunday Funday gay bar parties, food-drink-surprise fiestas at queer eateries, and of course the signature annual festival at Las Margaritas.

Politics, performances, people and personal problems step into our spotlight this week as well. The complicated candidacy of Pete Buttigieg puts at least one LGBTQ Atlantan on edge in Q Voices. On screen in Q Movies, we watch the indie festival darling Sauvage and talk to its lead actor about playing a complex gay sex worker. Queer Med brings complete, compassionate trans healthcare to Atlanta in Q&A, and we wrap with The Q advice column on blaming others for our responsibilities.

Now about those parties. Cinco de Mayo isn’t the only thing sparking events.

The Queer Agenda runs down a week full of to-dos, and Q Shots offers the best photos from recent events. theQatl.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 2 ISSUE 24

MAY 2, 2019

THE QUEER AGENDA Must Do

COVER

19 15

Party Time Cinco de Mayo in queer Atlanta

Q&A

13 11

Best Medicine

28 Ballers

Meet the doctor offering QueerMed MOVIES

13

Something Wild

33 Pro Business

“Sauvage” actor brings gay sex worker to life

FEATURES Q Voices

6

9

Queer Agenda

15

Q Shots

28

The Q

38

theQatl.com

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36 Bear It

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Tickets Available @ joininghearts.org

VOICES Q

Fear of

BUTCH QUEEN

I’m leery of Pete Buttigieg as the great queer hope for the future I AM NOT SAYING THAT I DON’T WANT ANOTHER queer president. That is not what this is about. Not at all. And yes I said another queer president, but that is for a whole other column.

But seriously, out of the 45 men who have been president, at least one of them has touched a dick other than his own and maybe even touched another man’s heart. And there has been at least one first lady that was secretly Sappho and ran everything behind the scenes.

But a queer president, now? Right after President Cheeto has brought the federal government to its lowest point in modern history? That does sound about right: Send in the gay couple to spruce the place up, raise property values and upgrade the curb appeal.

White cis gays are just beginning to acknowledge and try to understand the issues and experiences of queer people of color, gender nonconforming people and non-heteronormative queers. They, and not surprisingly, straight people are the people in my life who are the most excited about Mayor Pete.

They are here for the first gay president and not in the mood to hear anything but praise for him.

Meanwhile, most of the queers I know are waiting for Pete’s back-in-the-day Grindr profile to drop likes it’s the Mueller report. He met his husband on a dating site, so you know it’s out there. Yeah, I know about Pete’s tax plan, but what is his position on fats and femmes? Was he able to host? Did he display a face pic or was it just torso? I checked his campaign site, and it had none of these crucial details.

Pete also did not come out until he was 33. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, but as a gay man who came out way earlier than that and dealt with down-low and or closeted queer men while I was out, I would like to know how he was when he was closeted.

From Pete’s interviews and speeches, he seems very credible and intelligent and very, well, butch. I just wish I could see a slip and find out that, underneath all that heteronormative facade, there is a touch of queen.

If I just knew his drag name — not that he does drag, but every gay man I know has one at the ready, just in case. Mine is Ranch Devereaux.

IAN ABER

I like Pete Buttigeig. He is intelligent, compassionate and is a proven leader in his role as mayor of South Bend, Ind. His speeches and rhetoric speak to me as a queer person. The idea that he could win the nomination and possibly even the presidency is another thing that I would have never thought would happen in my lifetime. Not in the United States of America, where it sometimes seems that the only thing all the straight people agree about is how much they don’t like queer people.

Or that they think they get us, but what they really get is the ones of us that are the most like them, the most gender conforming, the most heteronormative of us who get the pass and the rest of us, well, stay out of their bathrooms and why can’t you be like the other gays?

And I fear that is what Pete represents, the respectable queer, the palatable gay. Here he comes ready to be president, while our community is still trying to redirect a conversation that has for too long focused almost solely on the whitest, most cis, most gender-conforming and heteronormative people.

I mean, Pete said he wanted Phish to play his inauguration and also claims not to do drugs.

Honey, pick a lane!

My fear is that Pete is what we will all be measured against in terms of what a valuable queer person is to straight society. If so, he would reaffirm an already existing bias for white, cis-male, masculine and privileged. That’s dangerous for those who don’t fit that mold and have no interest in doing so.

Fear of a butch queen president is real.

My hope is that, in his mind, Pete is just straight up serving us Butch Queen Realness For The Gods, serving it up piping hot to 10s across the board all the way to the White House. Then, once he is elected, Pete drops the butch facade like the drag it is and can be himself.

Maybe he shows up to the inauguration in Jackie O sunglasses and does a double costume runway reveal and starts the speech with “Hey bitches” and ends it with “That’s all.”

Ian Aber is a queer comic, show runner and writer living in Atlanta. theQatl.com

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Body & Soul

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Q&A

Q

THE DOCTOR

is In

QMed ‘revolutionizing care for transgender people in the South’

By Patrick Saunders WHEN IZZY LOWELL MOVED FROM MASSACHUSETTS to Atlanta in 2013, the gender nonconforming physician noticed the limited healthcare options available for transgender people.

After conducting the Gender Clinic at Emory, she sprung into action with her own office, called QMed, in 2017. The clinic provides affirming hormone therapy to trans and non-binary people. It’s based in Decatur but also offers telemedicine.

Lowell and the staff also do pop-up clinics in Alabama, Tennessee, North Carolina and South Carolina.

Lowell, who also practices medicine through Emory Healthcare, spoke with Q about growing up as a tomboy, what drove her toward medicine, and the birth of QMed. What was your childhood like?

I grew up in Concord, Mass., not far from Boston. I was a tomboy and loved to play in the woods. My great grandmother was a carpenter, so my grandmother knew how to use woodworking tools and taught me how to swing a hammer and cut with a saw.

My mother loved animals. Over the course of my childhood, we had many pets including llamas, dogs, birds, chickens, rabbits, snapping turtles, a pig, hedgehogs, ferrets and a kangaroo.

access to hormone therapy, convenience and affirming care we provide speaks for itself, and we’ve been growing steadily!

What’s your favorite thing about your job?

Hands down my favorite thing about my job is seeing the look of pure happiness on a person’s face when I get to tell them they can start hormone therapy. For some people, this is a lifesaving treatment, and it is an honor to be able to provide it.

What is it about the job that drives you?

I am driven by equality. No one should be turned away by a medical provider because they are transgender, but this happens all the time — and much worse.

Conservative estimates suggest that 0.3-0.6 percent of the population is transgender. This is more common than Type 1 Diabetes! Yet medical providers are taught almost nothing about hormone therapy, and feel that it is OK to turn people away based on gender identity. No one would ever say “we can’t treat you because you have diabetes.”

I hope this becomes primary care soon and QMed is no longer needed, but until all patients are treated equally, [nurse practitioners] Michael Lucas, Chris Turner and I are trying to revolutionize care for transgender people in the South.

QMed is located at 215 Church St. in Decatur. Call 404-445-0350 or visit queermed.com.

What made you want to get into medicine?

A desire to help people and do something meaningful for myself and others. I know that sounds so generic, but that’s really about it! Perhaps an even stronger motivation for me has been equality, standing up for those who have not been treated fairly. This originally led me to work with underserved and immigrant populations in Massachusetts, and now it shapes my work for the trans communities.

What led you to transgender healthcare?

When I moved to Atlanta, I started working at Emory, and there seemed to be no transgender patients. I knew that couldn’t be true.

We just weren’t serving the trans community properly, so I started the Gender Clinic at Emory in 2015, and once the word got out, patients started travelling from all over the Southeast to see me. I knew then that the need was much greater than anyone realized.

What’s been the response to QMed? As more people learned about us and what we do, I think the

Photo by Russ Youngblood theQatl.com

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MOVIES Q

Felix Maritaud goes Wild exploring the life of a gay sex worker

Something

By Jim Farmer

W

SAUVAGE

hat’s surprising — and exhilarating — about the new film Sauvage (“Wild”) is how it unexpectedly becomes such a stunning study. In the film, which opens on May 3 in Atlanta, Felix Maritaud stars as Leo, a 22-year-old gay hustler who lives on the streets.

It’s a riveting debut by French director Camille Vidal-Naquet, and it features exceptional work by Maritaud. The actor talks to Q about his experience on the film and how it affected him as a gay man and actor.

“A friend was reading the script and made me meet the director, telling me it was a role for me,” Maritaud says, crediting Vidal-Naquet for making him feel comfortable.

“He is really precise as a director and really confident about what he wrote, so it was really good ground to work on,” the actor says.

The character of Leo is one that piqued Maritaud’s interest. One side of Leo likes the excitement and flexibility of being on the streets, despite health issues and a growing addiction to drugs. Another side of him, however, seems to long for love. He has feelings for a fellow hustler (Eric Bernard) who openly wonders why Leo kisses his customers and shows compassion for them, young and old.

“I describe him as a young guy craving love and freedom — his own freedom,” Maritaud says.

Leo’s life changes when he meets Claude (Philippe Ohrel), who takes him in and offers him a different life.

“I think Claude arrives at a time in the movie when Leo really can’t do it by himself,” Maritaud says. “He is really tired and sick, so Claude may represent this normativity, this place where comfort absorbs freedom for people.”

The director interviewed sex workers in a Paris public park for three years for the project. As part of his own research, Maritaud realized he needed to work on the physicality of Leo. “To find the character, we worked through dance and through the body,” the actor says. “As Leo uses his body as a tool, I tried to use mine like this, too.”

At last year’s Cannes Film Festival, where Sauvage premiered, some audience members were uncomfortable with the film’s graphic sexuality and left during the film’s three-way scene, which includes a dildo. Still, overall the film was highly acclaimed, and Maritaud took home the Rising Star Award.

“It was amazing,” he says. “It’s really comforting to get back that honesty of feeling you put into something.”

The actor, 26, was seen in 2017 as part of the cast of Robin Campillo’s acclaimed Beats Per Minute (BPM), set in the early 1990s as ACT UP Paris activists demanded action from the government and pharmaceutical companies.

That was his first feature length film after a few shorts, and he credits the project with allowing him “to become an actor.” He is also seen in the upcoming murder mystery Knife + Heart, in which he plays a gay porn star.

As a gay actor, Maritaud is proud to bring three-dimensional LGBTQ characters to life, he tells Q. “All people on Earth deserve, from movies, the most diverse possibilities to identify with, to create a process of empathy,” he says. “Diversity is so beautiful and that is important to show.”

“Sauvage” (Wild) opens May 3 at Plaza Atlanta. plazaatlanta.com, strandreleasing.com theQatl.com

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

Thursday, May 2 – Wednesday, May 8 THURSDAY, MAY 2

SATURDAY, MAY 4 Roswell Spring Arts Festival

The gays of Atlanta Foundation for Public Spaces take their shtick up the road with crafts, music and food @ 38 Hill St.,

PAWty with Pride

Roswell, all day. Sunday too. roswellartfestival.com

Queer happy hour with your dogs to benefit

Bucks Beer Battle

Atlanta Pride @ Fetch Park & Ice House, 5 p.m.

The gay rugby squad hosts a beer bust and beer

atlantapride.org

Olympics because beer @ Atlanta Eagle, 12

G2H2

Gay Guy Happy Hour with Arica Love Royal @ Henry’s, 6 p.m. henrys-

noon. atlantabucksrugby.org

For The Kid Beer Bust

atl.com

The people who throw Toy Party and

Dykes on Bikes

Backpack in the Park pour bottomless brews

A general meeting for Atlanta’s women who love women who love biker

to raise money @ Joe’s on Juniper, 1 p.m.

chicks @ My Sister’s Room, 7 p.m. facebook.com/dykesonbikesatl

forthekid.org

qalm

A sober space to slow down for queer introverts. Chill convos and meditation @ Ponce Library, 7 p.m. afpls.org Amen: Fairytale

Taylor Alxndr and their queens take on a story-

book theme @ Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living

Room, 10:30 p.m. sisterlouisaschurch.com

FRIDAY, MAY 3 MAAP Mix & Mingle

Metro Atlanta Area of Professionals love them some networking happy hours @ Altitude

HRC Dinner

Apartments, 6 p.m. maapatl.org

The Atlanta arm of the national organization tuxes up and gowns down

Born This Way

It’s Candida Valentina’s Burlesque Birthday Bash, and honey, it’s gonna be lit @ Red Light Café, 8 p.m. redlightcafe.com

for the 32nd year @ Hyatt Regency Atlanta, 6 p.m. hrcatlanta.org Tacos & Tequila Midtown

Gurrrrrl, you betta Cinco on Quatro @ My Sister’s Room, 7 p.m.

DILF: Do Me Harder

Celebrate the new app with the party series that started

it all @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

mysistersroom.com

Change of Seasons

The Joining Hearts party that

celebrates spring, this year with a

“Liberate!” theme @ Heretic, 9 p.m. joininghearts.org

Xion with Monhammad BJ Roosters, 3 a.m.

SUNDAY, MAY 5 Queer Yoga

It’s “Lady Gaga Power Up” bend and stretch for all body types with Patrick Boston @

Ballroom Dance Clubs of America, 11 a.m.

Photo by Russ Youngblood

myballroomdanceclub.com 

theQatl.com

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA

SUNDAY, MAY 5 Cinco de Gay-o

We’re here, we’re queer, we’re Americanizing a Mexican anniversary @ multiple LGBTQ Atlanta venues. Read the Q party preview in this issue and find even more theQatl.com

Gay Day at the Zoo

The City of Atlanta officially sponsors a day with the animals, and you’re invited @ Zoo Atlanta, 12 noon. facebook.com/LGBTQAtlanta

MONDAY, MAY 6 The Doom Generation

Out on Film teams with Wussy Events for a new Queers on Film Series, starting with

this ’90s indie jewel @ Plaza Atlanta, 7 p.m.

outonfilm.org, wussymag.org

TUESDAY, MAY 7 Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl

Oh the antics you can enjoy when you’re a queer shapeshifter in the early 1990s. Meet the author of this compelling novel @ Charis, 7:30 p.m. charisbooksandmore.com

WEDNESDAY, MAY 8 Consent 101

Workshopping real queer issues with Atlanta Pride Committee @ Rush Center, 6:30 p.m. atlantapride.org Drop Dead Gorgeous

Somehow the 20th anniversary of this camp

classic is upon us. Celebrate with a screening @ Plaza Atlanta, 7 p.m. wussymag.com

Judas Priest

The gay-fronted metal icons hit town on

their Firepower tour @ Fox Theatre, 7:30 p.m.

foxtheatre.org

Find more LGBTQ events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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HOLIGAY Q

Sync your Cinco to Q’s queer calendar of celebrations

By Mike Fleming

G

ird your loins, siblings. This weekend is about to go off in the LGBTQ-ATL for Cinco de Mayo.

“As always, I wanted to give back to the larger community, but also the Latin community,” says Oscar Valdivieso, aka Papi, of the gay-run eatery Las Margaritas. “It’s very authentic and super fun for everybody.”

Papi and Las Marg are famous for their Cinco celebrations.

This year’s Sunday Funday Cinco Extravaganza includes a live band, DJ Ceelos, and a huge outdoor screen for the Atlanta United game. That means sporty types from All Stripes and Hotlanta Softball League on hand, too. Of course, Cinco also means the (American) reason for the season: Specials on ‘ritas, cervezas, sangrias and shots.

“We’ll have tons of stuff to remind you where you got ‘Cinco’d’,” Valvidieso says.

In addition to the reliably awesome Las Margaritas, you can always count on Cinco de Mayo for a good time in Atlanta.

This year, turn up the volume on that sentiment. The official holiday and the unofficial holigay fall on a weekend, so count on more celebrations than usual from queer organizers, and count on them going all day long and into the night.

Every gay watering hole in town will pour your chosen libation, and your favorite restaurants will do that with all the food and entertainment you can handle to boot.

The following pages feature the ones we’re counting on to show you an especially good time this year.  theQatl.com

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1492 Piedmont Ave NE • Atlanta, GA 30309 • 404-343-6514 •

KITCHEN HOURS: Mon-Sat 4 -10 p.m. • Sunday: Noon-10 p.m.

CINCO DE MAYO continued Q

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CINCO DE MAYO continued Q

Cinco de Mayo in the

LGBTQ-ATL

Atlanta’s biggest queer Cinco celebrations chasing a piece of your party agenda.

SUNDAY MAY 5 Papi’s Sunday Funday Cinco Extravaganza Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE lasmargaritasmidtown.com

7th Annual Party on the Patio

Cinco de Mayo

Deejay Cosmo & Frozen Margaritas

Woofs

Ten Atlanta

2425 Piedmont Road NE

990 Piedmont Ave.

woofsatlanta.com

tenatlanta.com

Cinco Celebration

Cinco de Mayo Blowout

Nachos + tequila and beer specials

Taco, Beer Bucket & Frozen Specials

Friends Neighborhood Bar

Shooter Boys & Cinco Giveaways

736 Ponce de Leon Ave.

Midtown Moon

friendsonponce-atl.com

1492 Piedmont Ave. NE

Cinco Bash

5 De Mayo

facebook.com/midtownmoon

Drink specials, shot boys, DJ, free t-shirts

Semana de Cinco de Mayo

La Hacienda

With Lady Gaay & DJ Kenzie Q

mysistersroom.com

900 Monroe Drive NE

Felix’s

Cinco de T’s

lahamidtown.com

1510 Piedmont Ave

With Marg and Cuervo specials

Mama’s Cocina Latina

felixatl.com

699 Ponce de Leon Ave. NE

Margarita specials, prizes, t-shirts

Cinco de Fun Day

modeltatlanta.com

1958 Piedmont Road

Specials All Day

Zocalo

Blake’s on the Park

with DJ Beats

227 10th St NE

187 10th St NE

blakesontheparkatlanta.com

eatzocalo.com

My Sister’s Room 84 12th Street NE

theQatl.com

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Coming This Spring...

Q

June 20, 201

9

inform | insp ire

I Do! THE WED

DING ISS

UE

Area Quee rs Talk Ab out the Jo the Knot — ys of Tying and the Un ique Challe of Planning nges a LGBTQ Wedding

Q News Q Shots Queer Agend a The Q

The Weekl y Print Public ation of Projec t Q Atlanta

• Swimsuit Issue (May 16) • Summer Preview (May 30) • Wedding Issue (June 20)

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ARMORETTES EASTER DRAG RACES

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

NFFLA BALL AT LAS MARGARITAS

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Q

Q SHOTS

SUNDAY FUNDAY T DANCE AT BLAKE’S

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

OUT ON FILM AND ATLANTA PRIDE PRESENT

of LGBT Cinema FREE Film Series in Honor of the 50th Anniversary of Stonewall

Desert Hearts

Thursday, May 9th at 7 pm at the Rush Center Annex

ADDITIONAL FILMS IN SERIES June 14 - Living With Pride: Ruth Ellis at 100 and The Watermelon Woman June 15 - Save Me, Brother to Brother and Shelter June 16 - Saturday Church, Rafiki and Pride

PALS Drag Queen Bingo

Pajama Party Night May 14, 2019

For tickets visit our website www.palsatlanta.org

Hostess Bubba Dee 32

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AGLCC FOURTH FRIDAY AT KING PLOW

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

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CAN YOU FEEL THE...

10PM - 3AM NO COVER

SATURDAY MAY 4TH

DJ ERIC JAMES 306 PONCE DE LEON AVE, NE, ATLANTA, GA 30308

Q

Q SHOTS

BEARRACUDA AT HERETIC

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Q

THEQ?!

So TRIGGERED My ex drained me dry, and now he’s everywhere I go

Q

I met my ex several years ago through friends of friends. It was the best of times and, eventually, the worst of times.

I let him live with me far too long after the relationship ended, and he continued to take advantage of me financially and emotionally. He didn’t work. He didn’t do housework. And I paid for everything.

I was in my darkest place for a while, then slowly began to heal.

When he finally left, he first slept on mutual friends’ couches, and sometimes at his mom’s place out of town. Good riddance.

Recently, he’s back in town more and more. We still travel in the

same friend circles, and seeing him triggers me. My friends warn me when he is around so I can avoid him, but it’s clear he has no plans to respect my boundaries — I don’t want him around me,

that he was or still could be in as bad a place as you. He’s not your problem any more, and gratitude for that fact is a great place to start.

You’re not upset at him anyway. You’re mad that you put up with

it for so long. You’re frustrated that it’s taking time to get over it.

His presence reminds you that you’re angry at yourself. Simply

understanding that these feelings are totally natural can be a relief.

Now for the biggie: Forgive him. Yes, even if he doesn’t deserve

it. It stops him from living in your head the way he lived in your

apartment — rent free. Acknowledge him in the past, but decide that he’s going to be inconsequential to your future.

While you work on evicting him in your mind, with profes-

sional help if necessary, there are some logistical steps you can take as well. It’s not actually impossible to avoid him entirely and

get new friends, but there’s

and he doesn’t care.

an easier way.

My friends are the only thing I have after all the trauma

Rather than change your life,

I’ve been through, so I can’t drop them despite his proximity. How do I bring an end to this cycle of

setbacks? Avoiding him is impossible and every time I see him, I feel like I’m back at square one.

Dear Trigger Happy: Not to minimize your ex-

perience, but there’s trauma,

and there’s drama. Your ex isn’t required to make new friends, travel in new circles, or care about your preferences. It’s

not even your friends’ respon-

sibility to disown their other friend.

It’s a harsh truth, but your trigger is

your problem. The good news is, you are available to fix it.

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We could talk all day about your ex’s transgressions, or the fact

theQatl.com

change your mind. Avoid him

for a time if you really need to,

but don’t hide and exacerbate the problem. Once your ex’s

power over you isn’t the focus,

and you tune into controlling

your own thoughts and actions,

you may learn to look past or right

through him. That is, if there’s no hope of peace between you.

All of this takes time, but using it productively makes it go faster.

The Q is for entertainment purposes

and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON