Q Atlanta Magazine | May 23, 2019

Page 1

Q

Home & Away Memorial Day

inform | inspire

Mx Glitz, Chunk & A Burlesque Smackdown

Dream JOBS Angel McCoughtry double dips with sweet shop and Atlanta Dream basketball

Supreme Court’s Sword Hovers Over Our Heads Playing Sexual High-Low with Mismatched Libidos May 23, 2019

Q News The Q Q Shots Queer Agenda The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta



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EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM

We shoot!

WE SCORE!

Q sets sites on Memorial Weekend for relaxation and inspiration

SOME QUEER ISSUES AND PEOPLE are like Teflon to the friction of LGBTQ infighting, varying tastes and judgments of each other. As we head into the holigay weekend, Q is proud to land smoothly on several of them as part of this week’s coverage.

PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE BUCK COOKE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BILL DICKINSON JIM FARMER BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS BENTLEY HUDGINS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER VAVA VROOM NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

MIKE FLEMING

And not a moment too soon, either. I for one am out to rid myself of the pettiness and stressors for a glorious 72 hours this weekend. To help us all take advantage of the holiday break, Q kicks off summer in our Queer Agenda calendar of local events, as well as our Q Holigay feature outlining the queerest Memorial Weekend road trips in the Southeast.

Another thing we can all agree on besides the holiday break feeling long overdue is that codified institutional discrimination is wrong. New Q Voices columnist Bentley Hudgins discusses why the current cases being weighed by the U.S. Supreme Court will be a tipping point for each and every one of us. EDITOR & PUBLISHER

Queers that everybody seems to like without disagreements are also inside Q. Curtis Slade is the newest radio personality on Star 94, and we meet him in Q News. On the Q Cover, Atlanta Dream small forward Angel McCoughtry offers us yet another reason to love her: Ice cream. Our interview and photo essay meets her at her sweet shop as the hometown WNBA team prepares to tip its home opener this weekend. While you’re leisurely perusing pages, we’d be remiss if we didn’t offer our signature Q Shots photos from recent events, the 10 Queer Things feature, as well as another installment of The Q advice column. All three are bursting with fruit flavor. Like what you see? There’s always more on our Project Q Atlanta homesite at theQatl.com, and you can always reach me to talk about it at mike@theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 2 ISSUE 27

MAY 23, 2019

TRAVEL

World’s queer-friendliest cities

COVER

23 10

Double Dip Atlanta Dream star Angel McCoughtry

NEWS

13

29 Con Artists

Fresh Blood

Curtis Slade joins Star 94 roster HOLIGAY

16

Get Out

31 Serve & Volley

Memorial Weekend Road Trips

FEATURES

Q Voices Q News Queer Agenda Q Shots The Q 6

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8 13 19 29 38

38

35 Church Service


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Q

VOICES

Take

In Georgia, I’ve personally gone the route of creating explicit

protections for LGBTQ+ people from workplace discrimination.

HEART

In Macon-Bibb, a group of advocates including myself were able to get a law that protected public employees through the addi-

tion of “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” to the existing local ordinance.

Since Georgia is a “right-to-work” state, employers don’t have

Arming ourselves as the Supreme Court comes for queer people

to give any particular reason for ending someone’s employment,

AS A QUEER PEOPLE, WE’VE INHERITED A COM-

under this administration — over what’s about to go down in the

munal sense of anxiety and trauma around the most basic of

unless there is a potential case of discrimination. We don’t have comprehensive civil rights legislation at the state level, and the

majority of cities and counties in Georgia do not offer them either. We naturally worry when we see things in the press — especially Supreme Court, but I don’t want people to stress out about it.

freedoms. More broadly, we know that some us

If this ruling goes the way that we would like,

bear the brunt of oppression even more so than

queer folks would have legal protections against

our white cisgender counterparts.

workplace discrimination. If not, it would not

We’d all like to live in a world where we can live

stop us from adding the classes of “sexual orien-

tions at nearly every level of American govern-

in the future, even though the route for change

including workplace discrimination. One way we

environment that is hostile to queer people.

out and express our truth, but the lack of protec-

tation,” “gender identity” or “gender expression”

ment leaves us vulnerable to discrimination,

could be slower and more difficult in a political

attain liberation is by changing public policy.

When the U.S. Supreme Court hears three cases

BENTLEY HUDGINS

plug into existing work across Georgia. Georgia

this year brought by people fired for being gay or transgender —

Unites Against Discrimination is a coalition of incredible orga-

ered he was a player in Hotlanta Softball League — we have an

civil rights legislation at the local and state level.

one brought by a gay Atlanta man fired after employers discov-

opportunity to change how we understand the already-protected class of “sex” at the federal level.

The three cases set to come before the court are each focused on application of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, which affords

protections against discrimination on the basis of sex, race, color, national origin and religion. All of the current federal classes

provide some level of coverage for queer people, but they do not go far enough.

A few federal courts have ruled that the understanding of “sex” can be applied to situations where sexual orientation, gender

identity and gender expression were the basis of discrimination. This has been done in the past by understanding the ban on sex discrimination as applicable to how a person moves about the

workplace in their individual expression and relationship with their gender and orientation. 8

There are still so many ways that advocates can

theQatl.com

nizations specifically focused on the adoption of comprehensive More local governments in our state are starting to pass these

policies, especially municipalities in metro Atlanta. Together they create a patchwork of supportive communities where LGBTQ+ people can realize their potential in the workplace.

Building a network of support where we are, plugging in where

we can, and loving ourselves in the meantime is the first step to creating change at every level. When things seem overwhelm-

ing, look around and into your heart. You’ll be surprised by the strength that you find.

Queer activist and performer Bentley Hudgins is an outreach fellow at the Georgia Budget and Policy Institute. He performs as his drag

alter-ego “SHI.” He encourages you to find and engage your local, state and federal representatives. Reach him at howisshitho@gmail.com.

PHOTO BY MARK MORIN @markmorinii



Q

10 QUEER THINGS

Brussels, Belgium

Globe

TROTTERS The 10 LGBTQ-friendliest travel destinations in the world

STOCKHOLM 10

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• SWEDEN


MONTREAL CANADA

Lisb on , Portuga l

B E RL I N g e r man y

ta Vallett a, Mal Re ykjavik, Ic el and

Sources: Spartacus, ILGA, Pew Global

theQatl.com

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NEWS Q

Gettin’

CURTIS-Y

Star 94.1 adds gay interior decorator to morning show ATLANTA POP STATION STAR 94.1 HIRED AN OUT gay man from Myrtle Beach, S.C., to join the reshuffled lineup of its morning show. Interior decorator Curtis Slade joins the newly-dubbed “Jenn & Friends” helmed by Jenn Hobby. “I was really excited,” Slade told Project Q Atlanta. “More than that, I was like, I have to pack up 21 years of my life in a short amount of time. It’s really exciting, and I’m looking forward to playing this role.”

exciting,” he said. “I have so many stories that are all real stories, and you may think are false when you hear them, but they’re real. It’s just pure entertainment.” Slade said he’s looking forward to representing LGBTQ Atlanta on the show. “Atlanta has a huge gay population, and once again, my goal is to be who I am, to be myself and not anyone else, and I want to draw in a crowd of those listeners,” he said. “I want to have a connection with those people.”

Slade moved from Myrtle Beach to Atlanta on May 15 and started at the show on May 16, but this isn’t his first foray into radio. He hosted a weekly segment on “The Ron Show” on iHeartRadio called “Better Call Curtis” in 2008. “People would call me for advice on love, relationships, you name it,” he said. “It was realistic advice, but I made it fun and entertaining.” “The Ron Show” host Ron Roberts is now program director at Star 94.1. Roberts offered the “Jenn & Friends” job to Slade on May 7.

Photo by Scott Smallin

Interior decorator Curtis Slade

“I was [in Atlanta] for a few days, and we all hung out and saw how our personalities worked and were telling stories about our lives,” he said. “I think it’s going to be a perfect match with all the personalities we have. So it should be fun.” Star 94.1 fired Hobby’s co-host Jeff Dauler on May 9, according to the AJC. Longtime Atlanta radio personality Mark Owens is the other new cast member of “Jenn & Friends.” Slade said his personal goal on the show is “to be authentically me.” “I want your commute to and from work to be fun-filled and

Slade follows a relatively well known line of LGBTQ radio personalities in Atlanta. Melissa Carter was Atlanta’s first out radio personality. The former “The Bert Show” cast member left the show in 2011 and later had stints at All News 106.7 and B98.5. She now hosts a weekly podcast called “She Persisted” on Progressive Voices Radio. V-103 dropped popular Atlanta drag queen Miss Sophia from its “Frank & Wanda in the Morning” show in January of this year. She took over the weekday afternoon drive shift on WERUradio in March. WERU is an Atlanta-based online station geared toward LGBTQ R&B listeners. theQatl.com

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Q

IN BRIEF

City of Atlanta paid anti-LGBTQ attorney $267,000 By Patrick Saunders IN ITS LONG-RUNNING LEGAL BATTLE AGAINST A SEXUALLYoriented business on Cheshire Bridge Road, the City of Atlanta paid more than a quarter-million dollars to an attorney who has fought against marriage equality and transgender rights. Scott Bergthold represents the city in its legal efforts to shut down Tokyo Valentino, the “adult superstore” on Cheshire Bridge. Bergthold has spent his career working to close sexually-oriented businesses across the country. He has said AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases are the results of “America’s moral decay,” and he has been affiliated with anti-gay organizations.

By Patrick Saunders THE BAN ON AN ATLANTA LESBIAN from the city of Statham, Ga., has been lifted, and the woman in question has vowed to continue fighting the city on behalf of her late partner. Catherine Corkren filed suit in the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Georgia in October after the city council banned her from setting foot on any cityowned property. Statham is about 15 miles west of Athens.

The city paid Bergthold’s law firm, based in Chattanooga, $267,000 between November 2016 and December 2018, according to a review of invoices by Project Q Atlanta. Bergthold’s firm bills the city $260 per hour for its work. The firm has not yet billed the Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms city for any work done in 2019.

The ban was lifted in December, and Corkren received a $43,697.50 settlement check from the city of Statham on May 8, according to the AJC.

Bergthold appeared for the city at a federal hearing in the Tokyo Valentino case on May 1. The case was appealed to a three-judge panel of the 11th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals, which has not yet issued a ruling.

“Very similar cases have been settled for upwards of $100,000 plus attorney fees,” she said. “Therefore, I believe the city of Statham got a bargain.”

Project Q detailed Bergthold’s history of anti-LGBTQ work and affiliation with anti-gay organizations on April 30. Two weeks later, a spokesperson for Bottoms provided a statement with the results of the Open Records Act request and said Bergthold’s views don’t represent the administration. “The counsel in question — retained by the previous administration — has concluded the city’s arguments in the matter and we are now awaiting a decision from the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals,” Press Secretary Michael Smith said. “The city only recently became aware of the counsel’s personal views, which are not representative of this administration.” Smith also said that the court, if the city does win, could order Tokyo Valentino to pay the city’s legal fees. Kirk Rich, co-chair of Bottoms’ LGBTQ advisory board, said the panel agrees with the mayor. “The council’s in agreement with the mayor and we support her efforts to resolve the issues surrounding the pending litigation and look forward to a resolution that mirrors equality and the One Atlanta that we all believe in,” Rich said. One Atlanta is the city’s equity, diversity and inclusion office. 14

Georgia city pays lesbian it banned $43,000 in settlement

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Corkren hoped for more out of the settlement, she told Project Q Atlanta.

Corkren’s battle with the city began in 2015, when her partner, Kelly Pickens, was pulled over by then-Statham Police Officer Marc Lofton. After a verbal altercation Pickens characterized as harassment, she was arrested. The charges were dropped, but Pickens and Corkren discovered that Lofton had made 63 such arrests in a six-month period. Pickens sued but she died in late 2017. Corkren carried on Pickens’ fight, attending every Statham City Council meeting, challenging procedures, and filing close to 100 open records requests. The city council voted to ban her in September. “I have been continuing to attend council meetings and do further open records requests,” she told Project Q.


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Q

HOLIGAYS

Clear OUT Memorial Weekend getaways for LGBTQ Atlantans By Mike Fleming

G

rand vacations are great, but our gay neighbors across the region are ready and able to help weekenders relax, refresh and recharge. And that starts with LGBTQ-specific Memorial Weekend plans. Bigger trips to far-flung destinations (Check out Q’s 10 Queer Things this week) may be in the cards further out, but warm weather and a holigay weekend means that it’s officially time for regional road trips. Nothing will get you in the summer spirit better than flying your colors with our gay neighbors. Here’s our quick guide to the queerest destinations this weekend. You don’t have to go far to feel like you’re a world away. Sexacola Beach May 23 – May 26 sexacolabeach.com Hosted by Atlanta’s own My Sister’s Room, this all-out blast features thousands of lesbian attendees over four beachy days and four ladies’ nights in Pensacola, Fl. Get ready for Foam Party Thursday, GLOW Friday, Nasty Saturday and the infamous Sunday White Party. Memorial Weekend Pensacola May 23 – May 27 johnnychisholm.com

Music, cookouts and mountain air are waiting. Festival of Colors at Roy’s Hideaway May 24 – May 27 Collins, Ga. royshideaway.com

This campground flies its rainbow freedom flag with House of Gunt performances, as well as

daily, nightly and afterhours parties. Fun in the sun includes carnival games.

Memorial Weekend at River’s Edge River’s Edge 24-27 May 24 – May 27 Dewy Rose, Ga. camptheriversedge.com Clothing is optional, but fun is not. The kitchen has meals planned, and events around the pool,

around the fire, in the hot tub and on the dance floor are on tap. Friday Freeballin, Blue Light

Party, pool games, Presentation of Colors cere-

mony, Dog Tag Tea Dance and Champagne on the Trails are just some of what’s in store. One Magical Weekend

With an even longer history of queers on the sand, gay bar owner and promoter Johnny Chisholm corrals the queens with DJ beats by day and night. They team up with the women of Sexacola on Friday for Glow and DJ Joe Gauthreaux, then it’s DJs Grind and Toy Armada for Wave on Saturday, and Beach Ball with DJ Alain Jackinsky on Sunday. The parties continue nightly at Park East.

May 31–Jun 3

Memorial Weekend at Timberfell May 24 – May 27 Greenville, Tenn. timberfell.com

pumping beats, including a new Sunday night event. Big

Memorial plans at this gay men’s campground are stacking 16

up as much as the campsite and cabin reservations.

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Walt Disney World Resort, Fl. onemagicalweekend.com OK, so technically it’s not Memorial Day at

all, but you may need a week to prepare yourself.

Orlando opens wide for one of the biggest circuit parties still in existence. For the 29th year, there are 14 DJs

names include but are by no means limited to Drew G,

Roland Belmares, Eddie Martinez, Tony Moran, Paulo, Rosabel and Nina Flowers. A new host hotel, Sheraton Lake Buena Vista, joins the fray for 2019.


theQatl.com

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Coming This Summer...

Q

Q

June 20, 2019

July 11, 201

9

Gotta Sta rt Somewhere Literary Be : ards

inform | insp ire

inform | inspire

I Do! THE WEDDING ISSUE

Area Queers Talk About the Joys of Tying the Knot — and the Unique Challenges of Planning a LGBTQ Wedding

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The Weekly

• Summer Preview (May 30) • Wedding Issue (June 20) • Queer Health (July 11)

Queer Age nda Q News The Q Q Shots

Print Publica tion of Projec t Q Atlanta

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

Thursday, May 23 – Wednesday, May 29 FRIDAY, MAY 24

THURSDAY, MAY 23

Atlanta Dream Home Opener

Hunger

The hometown WNBA squad takes

Black Feminist Book Club discusses

on Dallas with Q cover queer Angel

the contemporary memoir on size,

McCoughtry leading the charge @ State

shape and sexual violence by Roxane

Farm Arena, 7:30 p.m. Read our

Gay (photo) @ Charis Books &

McCoughtry interview in this issue.

Photo by Jay Grabiec More, 7 p.m. charisbooksandmore.com

dream.wnba.com

The Cake

Bakers rights vs. gay rights, ripped from the headlines and staged for your entertainment

@ Horizon Theatre, 8 p.m. horizontheatre.com Mx. Glitz Auditions

Bois, girls and errbody

else. Throw gender ex-

Pho

pression out the window when you help find

by to

a new drag titleholder, like 2018 champ

Jon

D ea

n

Thin Mint (photo) @ Mary’s,

11 p.m. marysatlanta.com

SATURDAY, MAY 24 AND SUNDAY, MAY 25

FRIDAY, MAY 24 Cruise Control

Big Peach

DJ Mister Richard spins the beats to move your feets

Hotlanta Softball League hosts the annual

@ Atlanta Eagle, 10 p.m. atlantaeagle.com

national tournament with games by day and

Chunk

parties by night, centered @ Crown Plaza Mid-

DJs Marceaux Marceaux (Memphis) and

Cakes (NOLA, photo) help Vicki Powell celebrate thicc-ness with Deep South @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

town, all weekend. bigpeachtournament.com

SATURDAY, MAY 25 Decatur Arts Festival

From camp crafts to finer works, an artist market with something for

every L, G, B, T and Q goes down @ Decatur Square, all day. decaturartsfestival.com

SATURDAY, MAY 25 Tasselcade

Uh oh, y’all. It’s “a burlesque smack-

down” with the always queer-inclusive

Glitter Goddess Productions. Performances include the one-and-only

Coco Rose (photo) @ Red Light Café, 5 p.m. redlightcafe.com

Friends & Neighbors Day Fest

Those creative minds at Arbitrary Living come outside in a collaboration with photobooth, live music, pop-up market, dranks and live music @ Old Fourth Ward Park Amphitheatre, 2 p.m.

MONDAY, MAY 27 SIN

Service Industry Night was never quite like

it is with queerly beloved DJs Zaida (photo),

Esme, Helix and friends

@ Mother Bar, 10 p.m. mother.bar Find even more LGBTQ events in the Queer Agenda Photo by James L. Hicks

each Thursday at theQatl.com.

theQatl.com

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COVER Q

Sweet Treats &

TOUGH BREAKS

Atlanta Dream star Angel McCoughtry on coming out, breaking up and overcoming setbacks as she enters a new career phase ď ľ Photos by Russ Youngblood theQatl.com

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Q

McCOUGHTRY continued

A

By Patrick Saunders tlanta Dream small forward Angel McCoughtry has had a wild ride over the last few years, including coming out, getting engaged, taking a season off, breaking off her engagement and tearing her ACL.

Now McCoughtry is busy rehabbing the knee, overseeing her ice cream shop in the Castleberry Hill neighborhood of Atlanta and starting an entertainment and production company as she prepares for her 10th season in the WNBA. The Atlanta Dream home opener is May 24, so McCoughtry sat with us for a photo shoot on the following pages, as well as an interview about all the balls she juggles. How does she balance it all? “You just figure it out. It becomes routine,” McCoughtry told Q. “Because there was a point in time when I was just sitting in the hospital upset.” “I’m glad to be busy again and doing a lot of the things I love,” she added. It was like McCoughtry shot out of a cannon when she joined the Dream in 2009 after a stellar career at the University of Louisville. She won Rookie of the Year honors, then helped the Dream make it to the WNBA Finals the next season, where they lost to the Seattle Storm. Since then, she’s racked up five WNBA All-Star honors, won the league scoring title twice and won Olympic gold medals with both the 2012 and 2016 Women’s National Teams. In 2015, she gained a new legion of fans when she went public about her relationship with actress Brande Elise.

‘It’s not your job to judge anyone’ In 2015, the pro team McCoughtry played on in Turkey during the offseason threatened to cut her if she didn’t post a letter on social media saying she was not in a relationship with Elise. Instead, she took to Instagram and confirmed longstanding rumors by coming out and decrying anti-LGBTQ discrimination. McCoughtry said she was ready for the backlash, but the positive feedback — especially from the LGBTQ community — stands out the most about that time. “When I did it, I never thought about how impactful the LGBTQ community was gonna be,” she said. “I just never thought about it. But they were the main community that really just supported me.” She also singled out the people of Atlanta and the WNBA for supporting her during that time. 24

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“I always just tell people, if something doesn’t have to do with you, don’t worry about it,” she said. “Don’t judge a person who’s gay, bisexual, whatever. It has nothing to do with you.” “It’s not your job to judge anyone or to say someone’s going to hell because of who they love or this or that,” she added. McCoughtry said she doesn’t like to label her own sexuality. “Some people ask what I prefer,” she said. “I say good spirits.”

Family Affair McCoughtry took the 2017 WNBA season off because she was “so burnt out.” “I’d played 10 years overseas [too],” she said. “I was like, I’m in my 30s now. I need some time off.” She opened McCoughtry’s Ice Cream on Peters Street in June of that year. It happened after two years researching the idea and finding the perfect spot. “I have a big sweet tooth. I love ice cream. I was just like, I’m gonna try this and maybe this is a way to give back to the community,” she said. “We let kids come in and learn about business and ask questions about how to run a business. We give a lot of free ice cream to businesses and organizations,” she added. McCoughtry said she stays involved in the shop as much as she can depending on her schedule. “But when I’m there, I’m there behind the counter. People love to see me there,” she said. “When I’m not there, I have an interactive shrine where the kids can take pictures. So they can still interact when I’m not there.” The WNBA star’s father makes a lot of the ice cream they sell, so visitors to McCoughtry’s shouldn’t be surprised to find him whipping up batches of the sweet treat in the back. “It’s definitely been a great experience,” McCoughtry said. Elise was with her the day of the grand opening, but they would end the relationship later that year. “So I opened up the ice cream shop, broke up with my fiancé. A lot of things happened,” she said. “It was really tough during that time for me. That’s why I’m thankful for that time off because it really helped with many things.”

Blessing in Disguise McCoughtry returned to the court with the Dream in 2018, ready to continue a successful career. She was averaging 16.5 points a game and leading the team to the number one seed in the Eastern Conference when she blew out her knee at the end of the season. 


“I have a big sweet tooth. I love ice cream. I was just like, I’m gonna try this and maybe this is a way to give back to the community.” — Angel McCoughtry

Photos by Russ Youngblood theQatl.com

25


Q

McCOUGHTRY continued She would miss the rest of the season and the playoffs. “It’s like what the hell, what kind of year is this after coming off [the season off and the breakup]?” she said. “But the great thing about hurting myself is, it allowed me to give back.” She called the injury “a blessing in disguise.” She volunteered with Atlanta LGBTQ homeless youth shelter Lost N Found. “I talked to [the youth] and encouraged them that they can make it, that their life isn’t over,” McCoughtry said. “They were so intuitive and asked me a lot of questions. They really needed that.” She also helped revitalize basketball courts in poor communities in Atlanta. “I was so depressed about my breakup, I was so depressed about my injury,” she said. “That’s how I found myself again.”

New Season, New Ventures McCoughtry told Q that she is about 70 percent healed from the torn ACL. “I’ve been working on it so hard,” she said. “In a couple months, I’ll be able to come back and play. I won’t be back until maybe July or August.” In the meantime, she’s working on opening a second location of McCoughtry’s Ice Cream. The new one is planned for the

Photos by Russ Youngblood 26

theQatl.com

University of Louisville campus, and a second Atlanta location is also under consideration. “After the Louisiville location, we’re going to look at more locations in Atlanta and hopefully Baltimore, where I’m from,” she said. “Hopefully we franchise one day. But I’ve really been enjoying this.” She also started an entertainment and production company. “I have a writer that helps me out where I give him the ideas for my show and he helps me format it for a script,” she said. The first project they’re eyeing? A TV show based on a pro basketball player who opens up an ice cream shop. Meanwhile, McCoughtry can’t wait to rejoin the Dream this summer. “I’m looking forward to just being part of the sisterhood,” she said. “I’m one of the oldest on the team now. I definitely wanna win a championship this year. That would be such an amazing goal.” The Atlanta Dream takes on the Dallas Wings in their 2019 home opener on May 24 at State Farm Arena. dream.wnba.com



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HOTLANTA VOLLEYBALL BEER BUST AT TEN

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Q SHOTS Q

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THE SPOT RELAUNCH BBQ AT RUSH CENTER

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PHOTOS BY LAURA BACCUS



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SUNDAY SERVICE AT SISTER LOUISA’S CHURCH

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Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY LAURA BACCUS theQatl.com

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MISS MIDLIFE CRISIS AT HERETIC

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PHOTOS BY LAURA BACCUS



Q

THEQ?!

Sexual HIGH-LOW How to break out of mismatched libidos so everybody wins

Q

I am a woman with a high sex drive, and my wife of almost seven years, well, isn’t. The only time we have sex is when she is in the mood, or when I am almost “forcing” her to. Her word. I can usually get her into the mood by doing different things to seduce her, but she is never the one to initiate sex. What can we do to get her sex drive up, not necessarily to my level in the stratosphere, but at least to somewhere off the ground? Dear Horny: Almost like cars, people come standard with a variety of features that aren’t always compatible with other models. After seven years, you clearly mesh with your wife on many levels, and this is just one sticking point. Start in a state of gratitude that there is a relationship to work on. Not everybody gets that. First make sure your wife actually wants to want it more and is looking for solutions to increase your sexual activity as much as you are. If she isn’t, that’s OK too and should be accepted. If she said “forced,” you need to openly discuss about what that word means to each of you, and check yourself before continuing with this column. A good place for her to start is medical hurdles. A good clue that these issues are in play is if high libido was once the case but took a downturn. Things like autoimmune disorders, diabetes, mild or severe depression and stress can wreak havoc on physical desires. Compile a list of every medicine and supplement she takes and ask a doctor. Even over-the-counter stuff can affect hormones, nerve endings and blood circulation. The doctor can also run tests and make diagnoses based on the answers she provides, so encourage her to be honest. If a physical doctor gives the all-clear, a psychological one or licensed therapist might also be a good stop on her journey. Again, if and only if she finds her level of libido a problem, not because you do. With all of those uncertainties answered, coupled queers with mismatched libidos can try a few methods and steps to being on the same sexual page at the same time more often. It’s important that all of these happen in an environment of calm acceptance and patience for you and no pressure for her.

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Focus on fun along the way and know going in that it might not always result in orgasm. Make your high and low libidos like a game of High-Low Poker: You both win. Be Patient. High-libido people report dramatic physical reactions that low-libido people just don’t. All-over tingles, shivers and even stomach rumblings for you could be nada for her, even when she’s interested and aroused. Some may not get wet or hard until the actual act. Consider it like simmering coals rather than raging fires, and be patient. Since she might not recognize it as readily, have her try to initiate sex on smaller impulses and ask you to fan the spark into flames. Communicate. Have her tell you what makes her hot under the collar. Massage? Sports bras? Rom Coms? Crosswords? Whatever it is, get good at it. Along the way, pay attention to what she responds to and make mental notes. Be her idea of a great lover, not yours. Try. Motivation is a fickle friend, but discipline and consistency are there for us day in and day out. Like going to the gym when we don’t feel like it or avoiding cake we want when we’re trying to shed a few pounds. When motivation is there, great. Use it. But when it’s not, make making out part of your couple routine. “On Saturdays we have sushi and get naked, no pressure.” Try Again. Almost everybody’s experienced a time when they didn’t really feel like having sex, “gave in” and ended up having an amazing experience. She doesn’t have to do that every time, and it’s entirely up to her, but she might try it often enough to understand her sexual triggers and her own initial hurdles and roadblocks to a good time . She can think of it like eating when you’re not hungry but you know you should. Sometimes a sniff is enough to make you want it. The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.




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