Q Atlanta Magazine | July 25, 2019

Q

July 25, 2019

10 Ways Pets Are Better Than People

inform | inspire

Dear Straight People With Regards, Us

City of Atlanta Digs Huge HOPWA Hole Queer Folks Face The In-Laws Too

Fur

BABIES LGBTQ ATLiens and their pampered pets

Queer Agenda Q Shots The Q Q Voices The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

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EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM

Family of CHOICE WHEN I SAW GRACIE for the first time, Russ Youngblood’s new puppy was just 8 weeks old. With that impeccable puppy face and perfect puppy breath, it was love at first sight as much as it was with my own two little creatures and just about every other dog I meet.

It’s been nearly 20 years since I first met Gracie’s dad, so I don’t remember it specifically, but I do recall moments both personal and professional, public and private, from two decades of working with Russ. I vividly recall ups, downs, asides, arguments, tears and laughs in the years we’ve both worked at most of the local LGBTQ media outlets.

ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE BUCK COOKE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BILL DICKINSON JIM FARMER BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS BENTLEY HUDGINS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER VAVA VROOM RUSS YOUNGBLOOD NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

This issue of Q marks a sad but hopeful change to our little family. Russ was our first fulltime employee, and he leaves the nest for his next career opportunity as of this week.

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

It’s appropriate kismet that he also shoots our cover package of Pet Parents.

You’ll notice his name moves from our staff box to our Contributors list, because the Q family of choice will always include the singularly unique Russ Youngblood. Even after he leaves us fulltime, you can still smile for his camera and see the results on our pages.

Speaking of hearts of gold and our cover package, check out this week’s photo essay with local queer pet professionals and their personal pets. Get to know their own little families waiting at home after days taking care of other people’s prides and joys.

To supplement our special issue, advertisers offer their services, and 10 Queer Things says out loud what you’ve been thinking: Why pets are better than people.

This edition also includes Bill Dickerson’s family with husband Cesar in a Dear Straight People letter, and we offer six pages of queer family Q Shots photos plus the Queer Agenda calendar of things to do. As always, we wrap with the Q advice column and invite you to click fresh content every day at theQatl.com.

Write mike@theQatl.com and me know if you need me before the next family meeting, right here on Page 5 next week. theQatl.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 2 ISSUE 35 JULY 25, 2019

ONE UP

Pets top people

COVER

15 10

Dog Days Queer Atlanta pet professionals

NEWS

13

29 Swim Fans

Epic Fail

City plays catchup on HIV Housing THE QUEER AGENDA

27

Go To It

31 Chug-A-Lug

The best LGBTQ events of the week

FEATURES

Q Voices 10 Queer Things The Queer Agenda Q Shots The Q 6

theQatl.com

8 10 27 29 38

38

35 Buckshots

Coming This Summer...

Q

When Queer Sp eak is Policed by ‘Woke’ Heterosex uals

inform | insp ire

September

5, 2019

Fall Color s Aren’t Just for the Trees

GOP Rene ws on LGBTQ Attack Rights

GOP Rene ws Bathroom Crusade

Eye of Be hol Kink vs. Ew der: ww!

Eye of Be holder: Kink vs. Ew ww!

Free to The Q Queer Age nda Q News Q Shots

FALL Color your fall LGBTQ fabulous!

The Weekly

• Sex (Aug. 8) • Atlanta Black Pride (Aug. 29) • Fall Preview (Sept. 5)

Print Publica tion of Projec t Q Atlanta

Reserve Your Advertising Now!

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Q

VOICES

Dear STRAIGHT PEOPLE An open letter to detractors who judge and condemn LGBTQ people

I am a happily gay married man. I didn’t set out to have a

MANY OF YOU ARE ALLIES OF THE LGBTQ

Indeed, I have fallen in love with a man, and I can’t believe, for

gay relationship. I didn’t choose to “become” a gay man. I

happen to be a man who is attracted to other men. I believe I was born in the image and likeness of God and out of love, and that I happen to want to be with a man.

a moment, that it is any different than your love. Love is love.

community. Thank you. We value you. It is at this

moment, however, that I want to address other “straight” persons who wrestle to accept the lives and loves of their LGBTQ brethren.

Like you, my breath was taken away. Like you, my heart

soared with anticipation in seeing Cesar. Like you, my relationship with him feels natural.

Foundationally, I believe in a God who is

Like you, I couldn’t wait to be with him.

Love. I believe that God created everyone in

Like you, I discovered flaws (and he mine),

love. I believe our destiny is to know, share

and I still love him, desire him and want to

and experience love: self, interpersonal and/

share my life with him. Like you, I want to

or married love.

go through life with this particular person

If you judge LGBTQ people, are repulsed

because he is “The One” for me.

by us or believe we are deviant, I want you

to understand something about Love that I

bet you have experienced deeply in your own lives: The love of another person.

BILL DICKINSON

Let me invite all of you who are married or partnered to think for a moment about how you met. How were you

drawn to one another? How, over time, did you fall in love

have for one another. I rejoice that a man

and woman can find joy, fall in love and can

conceive and rear children. God made you this way, in God’s image and likeness and out of love. For those of us who are LGBTQ — so it is with us.

with one another?

As you love, I love.

Was your experience of love for and with another person

What is the opportunity here? Aren’t we all called to learn?

powerful? Exciting? Did it feel as natural as breathing air?

Did you ultimately just know he or she was “The One”? Did

you get together and stay together because your heart is full, and you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else? Does your heart race still to this day?

If you are married — for three months, three years or 30+ years — do you acknowledge that it always been easy, but

that you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else? That he or she is still the one who takes your breath away? The one you

find yourself eternally grateful for, despite flaws or hardships?

Well, for those who don’t like or understand our identities as

queer persons, let me assure you that we experience the same kind of feelings you do with your spouse or significant other.

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I so respect the love that a woman and man

theQatl.com

Let’s choose to understand and to respect the love of those different from us. “Straight” people, challenge yourself to talk with those who are LGBTQ and to listen and learn.

The more each of us opens ourselves to others, the more we

come to value that Love is Love, and that the world is good.

Please forward and share this letter with those who you believe would benefit from a new perspective.

Bill Dickerson is a Doctor of Ministry in Leadership, corporate coach, LGBTQ mentor, and happily married gay writer in

Atlanta. He hopes readers share this letter with those you believe would benef it from his perspective. Read the full column at theQatl.com.

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Q

10 QUEER THINGS

Love you as you are.

IN EVERY WAY

10 ways pets are better than humans

Always down to cuddle.

Always happy to see you.

Always up for an adventure.

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theQatl.com

No matter what, they’re always cute.

They never understood the concept of pants.

You can’t stay mad at them.

Won’t judge you for binge eating, and in fact, want in on it.

Their bond is for life.

Can always make you laugh.

theQatl.com

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theQatl.com

FIX IT! Atlanta’s HIV housing crisis erupts amid fund hoarding, sexual impropriety and missed meetings

By Patrick Saunders

NEWS Q Bottoms expressing their “total loss of faith and confidence” in the city’s ability to manage HOPWA. The group asked that management of the program be moved to the city’s Continuum of Care department, which is managed by the non-profit third party Partners For Home.

The group also requested the city reimburse HOPWA agencies “immediately” for funds the agencies spent to house HOPWA clients.

HOPE SPRINGS FOR CITY’S PLAN Bottoms was scheduled to appear at a LGBTQ Advisory Board meeting on Monday, but the session was rescheduled last week. A new date has not been set.

THE CITY OF ATLANTA CANCELED A MEETING OF HIV policy experts in the midst of an HIV housing crisis, prompting nearly 100 advocates to demand an emergency meeting of the Atlanta City Council.

It was the fourth of five meetings of the Housing Opportunities for People With AIDS (HOPWA) Advisory Council that the city has canceled since its formation, and it comes as over 70 people living with HIV face evictions, some $40 million in HOPWA funding sits unspent and the city scrambles to correct years-long issues managing its HOPWA program.

Daniel Driffin

A plan is coming, according to a note posted outside WorkSource Atlanta on Tuesday, the location of the canceled HOPWA Advisory Council.

The city is considering $1.5 million in emergency aid to eight entities affected by the HOPWA crisis, but the council is on a two-week recess and won’t return for a vote until at least Aug. 5. That’s too long, said Daniel Driffin, deputy executive director of Living Room.

“We are going into August now so August rent will be due by the time city council comes back from recess,” Driffin said. “Every day without proper guidance and proper communication from the Office of Grants Management affects more individuals.”

Living Room sued the city this week over allegations that city officials retaliated against the agency after spurned romantic advances and claims of “flagrant breaches” by the city in its HOPWA program.

The Office of Grants Management shoulders the blame for the ongoing HOPWA crisis, according to a letter the group of HIV activists, doctors and researchers sent to the Atlanta City Council on July 16.

“They have offered misleading information to the Atlanta City Council in an attempt to conceal the true source of this crisis and continue to move forward spreading that narrative with impunity,” the letter said.

The same advocates also sent a letter to Mayor Keisha Lance

LGBTQ Advisory Board members were invited late Sunday to sit in on a meeting about the HOPWA crisis on Monday, according to a source who spoke to Project Q. A handful of board members attended the meeting, which was also attended by several senior city officials. The officials made no major announcements about the plan to fix HOPWA. The meeting was not open to the public.

Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms

“The city will release its strategy to address the systemic challenges with grants administration in the coming days and will communicate that strategy to all its partners and those impacted by HOPWA grants,” the note said.

A city spokesperson also told Project Q that a plan to address HOPWA issues is coming.

“We have been communicating the plan to restructure and streamline the Preston Brant management of HOPWA funds to our allies and partners, the details of which will be announced imminently,” Press Secretary Michael Smith said. “The validation of our strategy is appreciated, and we look forward to working with advocates and our partners to effectively address the housing needs of those with HIV/AIDS.” Find continuing coverage of the housing crisis and all news pertinent to local LGBTQ readers at theQatl.com theQatl.com

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COVER Q

Pet PEOPLE LGBTQ-ATL pet service professionals and their own furry friends

By Mike Fleming

A

fter spending their full day with dogs, coming home to a happy face is still the best part of having pets for these queer Atlantans.

Q photographer Russ Youngblood met with the LGBTQ owners, practitioners and managers of full-service grooming, daycare and boarding spa Piedmont BARK, the dog walkers of Pack Leaders ATL (including the photo on this page), grooming, boarding, daycare and pet supply stores The Pet Set, and the small-dog daycare Club DiOGi. Get to know them and their favorite furries on the following pages. ď ľ

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

PET PEOPLE continued

Daniel CUTHBERTSON & Poe Co-Owner, Pack Leaders ATL Shihtzu, 12 Poe has a knack for falling asleep in the most random places — like the laundry basket, the shower (that was turned off ), and even the coffee table.

What’s the best thing about working with animals?

The countless excited greetings we get from our furry clients every day. Nothing will put a smile on your face faster than a pup that knows they are about to go on a fun walk!

What’s the best thing about being a pet owner?

Having a go-to travel buddy. Poe has traveled and lived all over the U.S. with me, having all kinds of adventures. He’s made every house home and always greets me with a smile and tail wag.

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD 16

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Patrick KNOPP & Bentley Co-Owner, Pack Leaders ATL Shihtzu, 3

Bentley is our company pup, and he keeps things running around the office. His funniest quirk is his little happy growl when you’re rubbing his tummy, and he’ll rub his paws together to get you to keep going.

What is the best thing about working with animals?

I get to hang out with dogs and cats all day.

That’s really awesome.

What’s the best thing about being a pet owner?

The companionship - you really can’t ask for a better friend than a loyal pup. They always seem to understand you.

theQatl.com

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Help a friend keep a friend.

Help a friend keep a friend

Pets Are Loving Support

PALS supports people in Atlanta who are elderly or who are living with or disabled due to a critical illness. We provide pet food and basic veterinary care for the pets of our clients, which enables them to keep their pets. You can support PALS by: • Attending our monthly Drag Queen Bingo fundraisers.

• Bringing your pet to one of our monthly low-cost veterinarian clinics.

• Attending special events like Afternoon Delight or the Fur Ball Masquerade.

• Making PALS the beneficiary of your Amazon Smile, Kroger Plus, or Chewy.com accounts.

• Making a donation online.

Pets Are Loving Support Help a friend keep a friend

For over 29 years, the Atlanta community has helped us provide assistance to more than 1,000 clients with over 1,500 pets.

Thank you for your support!

Visit us online for more details: www.palsatlanta.org 18

theQatl.com

Pets Are Loving Support

PET PEOPLE continued Q

Bruno ROSE & Watson Co-Owner, Pack Leaders ATL Australian Shepard, 8 months

Mr. Watson is our little friendly ball of energy. He’s never met a stranger he doesn’t like, and he can put a smile on anyone’s face.

What is the best thing about working with animals?

We get to meet so many cool pets and their pet parents. There’s a true sense of community amongst Midtown pet parents, and it’s great to be a part of it!

What’s the best thing about being a pet owner?

Knowing that just coming home makes their day — what’s better than that?

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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PET PEOPLE continued Q

Operations Manager, Club DiOGi Pug, 3

building connections with these dogs year-round. There is no greater feeling than walking into work on a Monday and being toppled over by a crowd of happy pups who are so excited to say hello to all of us at the daycare after a weekend away.

It’s like free therapy to me. You can’t beat that!

There are so many things I love about Bruno! When he meets someone new, he literally jumps in the air squealing for them to give him attention. He loves people and places. His favorite thing to do is ride around in the car. He is pretty fearless — despite his concerned-looking face.

Realizing all the ways your pet brings out the greatest parts of you. My dogs have taught me to relax and try to enjoy the minutes we have in a day. They’ve forced me to get out more, socialize, enjoy the fresh air, make new friends.

Logann FINCHER & Bruno

What is the best thing about working with animals?

Most of all, I love getting to love on other people’s pets as if they were my own. There is nothing more rewarding than

What’s the best thing about being a pet owner?

To my girlfriend and I, our pets are our “babies.” There is a feeling of accomplishment knowing you’re providing the best life to a living being that depends on you and needs you.

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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PET PEOPLE continued Q

William CAMPBELL & J.R. Owner, Piedmont BARK Dachshund, 15

When I turn down Amsterdam Avenue and approach Piedmont BARK daily, he sticks his nose straight up in the air and starts howling as a true hound dog. It is the funniest thing! When I make coffee in the morning, he sits quietly and patiently till I or my husband finish to get his sip of coconut cream and coffee.

What is the best thing about working with animals?

It’s a great gift to be entrusted with the care of so many folks’ beloved canine family members. We get to know each dog’s unique personality and better understand the joy and bond they share with their mom(s) and/or dad(s).

What’s the best thing about being a pet owner?

The unconditional love that is shared daily by our dog towards my husband and me. The human-animal bond that exists is indescribable and so powerful. We witness it first-hand daily and have seen it in thousands of pets and owners over the years.

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

PET PEOPLE continued

Bob FAWCETT & Diego Owner, The Pet Set Mini Schnauzer, 9

Diego is very demanding. If you are standing near his treat jar, he will come up and paw at your leg to remind you that something must be up there for him.

What is the best thing about working with animals?

The highlight of my day is visiting with my clients and their pets when the come by for a visit or services.

What’s the best thing about being a pet owner?

No matter how my day is going, Diego is always there to make it better. The companionship and love seems endless. It’s like having a best friend all the time, which is wonderful.

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD 26

theQatl.com

Q

THE QUEER AGENDA

Legendary Children

The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

Royal Court Reunion

Thursday, July 25 – Wednesday, July 31

It was a time and a place and a cast that became… Legendary. Together for one night

FRIDAY, JULY 26

@ Star Bar, 10 p.m.

Atlanta United Watch Party

wussymag.com

LGBTQ soccer fans

of All Stripes host the LA match on TV

@ MSR, 9:30 p.m.

mysistersroom.com

Expressions

Ash Lauryn (photo) and Stefan Ringer beat

the house down @ The Sound Table, 11 p.m. thesoundtable.com Lucas Flamefly

The kind of guy you want in charge of your all-nighter

@ Xion at BJ Roosters, 3 a.m. – 7 a.m. facebook.com/ xionatlanta

SUNDAY, JULY 28 Carly Rae Jepsen She’s here. You’re “Dedicated” @ Tabernacle, 8 p.m. tabernacleatl.com

FRIDAY, JULY 26 G8yties

Whether your memory of the decade is hazy or non-existent @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com Cruise Control

DJ Mister Richard gives you a ride @ Atlanta Eagle, 10 p.m. atlantaeagle.com

SATURDAY, JULY 27 Queer Dodgeball

The Gays Present call all Queer and Trans People of Color to play or cheer @ Adair Park, 12 noon. facebook.com/thegayspresent Margarita Bust

Before their big national tournament next week, the jocks of Hotlanta Volleyball host a final fundraiser @ Ten, 4 p.m. hotlantavolleyball.org

WEDNESDAY, JULY 31

Serving for Equality

Shawn Mendes

HRC Atlanta takes to the courts @ Sharon E. Les-

Get in line. It’s you and all the tweens, honey

ter Tennis Center, 6 p.m. hrcatlanta.com

@ State Farm Arena, 7:30 p.m.

shawnmendes.com Macho Man

Fuck toxic masc4masc. This is a “Sissy Sausage Fest” @ Mary’s, 10:30 p.m. marysatlanta.com ABBA: The Concert The tribute band Eurodisco fans need @ Cobb Energy Centre, 8 p.m. cobbenergycentre.com

Find more queer things to do in

the expanded weekend edition of the Queer Agenda at theQatl.com.

theQatl.com

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SUMMER THANG SWIMSUIT CONTEST AT MARY’S

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

NEW WOOFS RE-OPENING DAY

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

CHUG DRAG SHOW AT GEORGIA BEER GARDEN

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

THIAGO OLIVEIRA AT HERETIC

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com 32

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

AUGUST 1-4, 2019

TRAILER TRASH/SORDID LIVES WEEKEND PRESENTED BY CRAIG AND DREW / RV SITE #7A

Always a fun and festive crowd for our 11th annual event embracing our “inner trashiness” in the rural south! Craig and Drew from RV Site #7A host. Features the Brother Boy Boozy Splash Bash poolside party, Trashiest Campsite/RV, Trailer Parks Tour of Booze shots party, Redneck Golf Cart Parade, Trash Sale, and more! Special Guest DJ Ericx

AUGUST 16-18, 2019

STUDIO 54 WEEKEND PRESENTED BY ROB, JOE AND EARNIE / RV SITE #1

Join us to celebrate the 1970’s disco palace Studio 54! Hosted by Rob and Joe from RV Site #1. Friday night is set to be a Tom of Finland Mustache Party, “It’s Raining Men” cocktail mixer Saturday, and the Tavern is transformed into a disco for the Saturday Night Fever Party! Special Guest DJ RexxStep

AUGUST 30 – SEPTEMBER 2, 2019

LABOR DAY WEEKEND

Book early to get your room and RV spot of choice. It always sells out quickly!! Be here for all the fun, food, and MEN! Special Guest DJ Ericx

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ATLANTA BUCKS SWEET 16 AT MIDTOWN MOON

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

SOUTHEAST LEATHERFEST

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Q

THEQ?!

MONSTER In Law

Finding a new normal with the people who raised you

Q

I put up with my mother-in-law’s odd expectations and demands for my partner’s sake, but I’m worried that letting her have her way just invites more meddling.

If she’s not asking us to come over and reach something on a high shelf, she’s demanding we act “less gay” around her bridge club.

When the time comes, set a family meeting and make it clear from the start that it’s serious. It may be a good strategy for your partner to say the harder stuff, with you singing backup about how great it is that you all are so close. She could feel hurt, so make sure the entire conversation reiterates how valuable she is to your lives.

Don’t explain how the problems have been as much as how the solutions will be going forward. Otherwise, you’re just firing off a list of complaints that she’ll feel motivated to bat down oneby-one. The last thing you want her to be is defensive.

Invite her to be part of the decision-making of what the new normal looks like, and let her paint her own picture of how it will ultimately be better for her, like being able to reach things on a high shelf herself with a step-ladder.

Use less terms like “boundaries” and “ground rules” and more terms like “expectations” and “mutual respect.”

Finally, she may withdraw at first from hurt ego, a genuine effort to unburden you, or both. The onus is on you to plan and follow through on getting together under the new terms to show her that you are happy to hang, just not at her beck and call.

If she’s not inciting arguments between us, she’s picking a fight with either of us and asking the other to take sides.

I get that she’s lonely, and I get that we’re her family, but how much is too much, and when can I say enough is enough?

Dear Can’t Kill Her: When you’re asking how much is too much, and when you’re allowed to shout “Uncle,” it’s past time to draw boundaries.

I’d start with an off-the-record conversation alone with your partner. It’s their mother, so be as conciliatory to that point as you must, while making it clear that the adage, “That’s just how she is” won’t cut it any more.

If you’re not on the same page yet, get there first. It’s crucial that you present a united front, so decide together what will be acceptable and won’t before you discuss an approach.

In her mind, your mother-in-law is still the person who was once in charge of everything your partner did. Understanding her perspective doesn’t make setting new expectations easier, but it does help set your starting point from a place of love.

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Q

In college, I worked with my grandmother’s expectations.

In my first job, conservative jerks force me to remain mostly closeted and in fear of being outed. I can’t stop wondering: When is Me Time?

Dear Now’s the Time: Live honestly and authentically, despite what others may want from you. Deciding to do so immediately starts the clock on You Time.

Sorting the consequences is actually the easy part. There will be tough choices whether you stay stuck or break free, but repercussions of the former can be worse than you’re already experiencing, and the latter comes with rewards richer than any paycheck.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling.

Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON