Q Magazine Atlanta | August 1, 2019

Q inform | inspire

Ansley 50: This Week in LGBTQ Atlanta History August 1, 2019

Looking Up

Emmy Marshall wants to lift queer Atlanta artists

Hotlanta Classic XXVI Serves Gay Volleyball ATL Queer Arts Alliance Won’t Take It Anymore What We See v.

What You Get

Q News The Q Q Shots Queer Agenda The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

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EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM

Forward

& BACKWARD

UNLESS YOU’RE INTO WHIPLASH both real and emotional, moving ahead while glancing behind is a trick best done with a rearview mirror. That’s one of the purposes that queer culture and LGBTQ media can serve, and this week’s Q is here for it and here for you as always.

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MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

In the rearview this issue, even some queer Atlanta veterans didn’t know the story we tell in Q History. An eventful 50 years ago this week, Ansley Mall was raided by police, gay men were rounded up, and the movement for queer equality in Georgia was sparked by the outrage. We talk to a local lesbian who was there for our very own little Stonewall.

Richard Rhodes was here for most of what followed, and the 81-yearold pioneer’s obituary is in Q News. Another way we have history on the brain is the Hotlanta Classic over the weekend. It’s the 26th year for the gay Hotlanta Volleyball Association’s national tournament, and we lay down historic moments from its rich history in 10 Queer Things.

The thing we have to remember about the rearview is to keep our eyes on the road. Q Cover guy Emmy Marshall snaps us out of our daydream with powerful abstract art and a mission to uplift other queer artists of color during a sea change moment in his career.

In Community, some veteran queer organizations are banning together, and the City of Atlanta scampers to fix its HIV housing crisis even as Sandy Springs takes steps toward LGBTQ progress.

Of course, all of that is along the road with other stops including an expanded Q Shots gallery section, a look at gay men as “mean girls” in The Q, and the Queer Agenda calendar of the week’s best events.

Check it out, then hit us for new stuff every day at theQatl.com, and write me about any of it at mike@theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE

VOLUME 2 ISSUE 36 AUGUST 1, 2019

SERVE IT

Hotlanta Classic XXVI

COVER

17 10

In the Abstract Atlanta artist Emmy Marshall

COMMUNITY

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29 Pickled Pink

New View

AQAA lobbies for queer arts.

HISTORY

22 FEATURES

Q Voices 10 Queer Things The Queer Agenda Q Shots The Q 6

theQatl.com

8 10 27 29 38

This Is 50

30 Hearts Afire

Atlanta’s Stonewall flickered to life on Aug. 5, 1969.

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35 Team Shamey

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Q

VOICES

What We

SEE

The problem with perception creating its own reality

WHAT IS YOUR VIEW? WHAT DO YOU SEE? WHAT is your perception of what you see? What we think we see can

determine how we react if we are not fully aware in the moment.

I have come to realize that much of what

I see, even with my physical eye, is learned

behavior. Things I have been taught to see.

Things my mind has been preconditioned to

I have passed up some incredible potential partners in my life because I was looking with the physical eye only. Since I had already developed this ideology of what my partner should look like, I passed by others because they didn’t fit the mold. I was only looking at the package, so to speak.

I have allowed thoughts, teachings, ideologies and concepts engrained in my mind over the years to block the eye of my heart from seeing the truth on many occasions. What we see is rarely what’s actually there, but because we have been taught to see things a certain way, we miss out on what’s really there.

That trash can, and so many other aspects of our lives, are different than what we always thought they would look like, so we miss it.

Growing up in a Pentecostal church, I was taught that Christian women never wore makeup. They always had long hair because it was a “sin” to cut it. They weren’t allowed to adorn themselves in jewelry because that was “of the world.” If you did not abide by their definition of what a Christian is supposed to look like, then you weren’t a Christian.

see and believe.

I recently went to an oudtoor summer dinner party at a dear friend’s house. It was filled

with the beautiful energy of loving friends.

As people finished eating, I went around

VINCE SHIFFLETT

gathering up the dirty plates. I had a stack full. I walked into the house looking for the trash can.

The host said, “It’s outside on the chair.” I walked back

outside and looked around for 10 minutes and could not for the life of me find that trash can. Eventually, the host came out and pointed at it and said, “It’s right there in front of

you.” The trash can was literally right in front of my eyes.

I had spent 10 minutes walking all around that trash can

and did not see it. Why? Because I already had a precon-

ceived idea about what the trash can would look like, so I was looking for that.

I had an epiphany moment right then and there. I would

apply this lesson to my personal life and begin looking more with the eye of the heart as opposed to the physical eye or eye of the mind.

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Are we sometimes looking at people and situations, judging them based on what the physical eye sees, or thinks it sees? Or do we take the time to open our heart and pour out love and compassion for all of God’s creation?

Perception is not reality. We perceive a lot by what we see with our physical eye and by what we’ve been taught to believe is right or wrong. Looking only with our physical eye has been the source of much conflict. We look and judge based on color of skin, size of the person, how they are dressed, what religion they are, what they are driving, and whatever else our eye picks up.

It is my intention moving forward to always look with the eye of my heart. We are given the opportunity multiple times a day to choose warm heartedness, kindness and generosity, as opposed to judgement based on what the eye sees.

Let’s break the cycle of hatred and judgement by looking with the eye of our hearts.

Vince Shifflett is a nurse practitioner and writer living in Atlanta. Read more of his work at vinceshifflett.com.

Q

10 QUEER THINGS

Serve & VOLLEY 10 moments from years past psyche us up for Hotlanta Classic XXVI

By Mike Fleming

H

otlanta Classic returns for the 26th time Aug. 2 – 4, and Project Q has been covering the tournament since our 2008 inception. That means photos. Tons of them. Here are 10 shots we’ll never forget.

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Hotlanta Volleyball Association hosts the international Hotlanta Classic XXVI Aug. 2 – 4 with play by day, party by night. Matches Saturday and Sunday at Tsunami Volleyball, 5163 Old Dixie Hwy, Forest Park. hotlantavolleyball.org. theQatl.com

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COMMUNITY Q

They’ve HAD Queer Arts Alliance forms to promote LGBTQ film, music and theater

SEVERAL LONGSTANDING LGBTQ ARTS ORGANIzations found their last straw when an Atlanta City Council member excluded them from a Stonewall Month list of local queer “game changers.”

Leaders from Out On Film, Out Front Theatre Company, Atlanta Freedom Bands, Atlanta Philharmonic Orchestra, Our Song and Voices of Note — which is the umbrella for Atlanta Gay Men’s Chorus and Atlanta Women’s Chorus — have already met once, according to a press release on July 19.

IT

sion, but it is a noticeable slight — and it sends a message.

We all hope that the creation of this new group will bolster the work we do as well as the importance of arts culture in our society.”

Farmer tells Project Q that it’s particularly glaring since most of the organizations have such a rich history.

“All of these organizations work throughout the year serving our community and helping create inclusive environments — and two of them have been doing so for more than 30 years,” he says. “Part of why we have formed the group is to tell our stories and highlight some of the challenges we face.”

Look for more from the newly founded Atlanta Queer Arts Alliance, aka AQAA, soon, he adds.

When Atlanta’s newly elected, and only LGBTQ, city council member Antonio Brown left out any queer arts organizations and artists from his Stonewall honors in June.

That was the end of arts organizations accepting that they never get their due, says Out On Film Director Jim Farmer in the press release.

“The group’s mission is to to promote the value of cultural experiences in the area, find additional ways to collaborate with each other and provide space for LGBTQ artists,” Farmer says. “We will be having some joint collaborations soon and a fundraiser/event for us all sometime later this fall or early next year.”

“For an elected official and member of the local LGBT community to exclude us — especially during a Stonewall Month when many of us held multiple events — is sad,” he says in the press release. “It may seem like a harmless omis-

Read the full announcement at theQatl.com, including the history of each organization, and keep an eye on Project Q Atlanta for developments and activities from Atlanta Queer Arts Alliance. theQatl.com

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Q

IN BRIEF

Beloved gay Atlanta activist Richard Rhodes dies at 81 FRIENDS ACROSS LGBTQ ATLANTA ARE MOURNING the death of Navy veteran, HIV/AIDS activist and political trailblazer Richard Rhodes, who died Saturday. A memorial service is scheduled for Aug. 3.

Rhodes, 81, had a stroke on July 12, and a series of visitors were by his side in the following days.

Rhodes’ friend Larry Mock announced his death on July 20.

“The world has lost a great man, and we all lost a great friend,” Mock wrote. “Richard has completed his earthly journey, and he is now released into the universe Richard Rhodes for the journey he has earned — the one of eternal peace. Cherish all of your fond memories spent with this wonderful man.”

Rhodes was born in Tampa, Fla., on Aug. 14, 1937. He served in the U.S. Navy in the late 1950s, according to Emory Medicine Magazine. He also survived the persecution of the Johns Commission in Florida in the mid-1960s, according to Hayward.

“A version of the Joseph McCarthy witch hunts of the 1950s, the Johns Commission specifically targeted gay men by hounding them at gay gathering spots, including gay bars, and entrapping them by sending undercover police officers into the men’s rooms,” Hayward told Project Q Atlanta following Rhodes’ death.

Rhodes moved to Atlanta in 1971 and served as a delegate to the Democratic National Convention in Atlanta in 1988 — the first openly gay male to do so. That same year, he and Gil Robison became the first openly gay men to run for the state House.

He didn’t win and never ran again, but he stayed active in politics, becoming the first openly LGBTQ chair of the DeKalb Democratic Party in 1993. Rhodes was a founding member of LGBTQ social groups SAGE Atlanta and Atlanta Prime Timers, co-founded the LGBTQ Archives & Special Collections Committee, and was recently active in LGBTQ social group Belong and at Spiritual Living Center of Atlanta.

“He jokes that if you want to know anything about being old and LGBTQ in Atlanta, come to him,” Hayward told Project Q. A memorial service is scheduled for Aug. 3 at 2 p.m. at Spiritual Living Center of Atlanta.

As evictions start, Atlanta considers stop-gap fix for HIV housing crisis EVICTIONS FOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH HIV CONTINUE and efforts to provide emergency aid for agencies affected by Atlanta’s HIV housing crisis have stalled.

But the head of the non-profit agency the city asked to clean

up the long-troubled Housing Opportunities for Persons With AIDS (HOPWA) program said it is the right organization for the job.

Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms on July 18 proposed

moving HOPWA oversight from the Office of Grants Man-

agement and Office of Human Services to Partners for Home, a non-profit that manages the city’s homeless services grant from the U.S. Department of Housing & Urban Development. But

the HOPWA restructuring needs approval from HUD, the Atlanta City Council and Partners for Home’s board of directors.

If approved, Partners for Home would begin managing the

HOPWA grants in fiscal year 2020, which will be issuedthis fall, but would not be responsible for managing the $40.1 million in unspent HOPWA funds the city has sat on since 2014.

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A city spokesperson did not respond to Project Q when asked which department would manage those open contracts.

While the Bottoms administration works on getting the

restructuring plan approved, Partners for Home is coordinat-

ing a Housing Relocation Team to find housing for HOPWA clients at risk of eviction.

Councilmember Antonio Brown was coordinating with other

members and the city’s chief financial officer, Roosevelt Coun-

cil, to schedule the meeting and distribute the funds, according to an email exchange reviewed by Project Q. Those efforts

stalled, but the city said it can take action without approval from the City Council.

“The CFO does not agree that a special meeting for the emer-

gency funds is warranted,” Press Secretary Michael Smith told Project Q. “We are moving forward.”

Brown told Project Q he is “working through this issue” with the Bottoms administration.

Lawsuit: Atlanta trans woman jailed for five months on bogus charges A TRANSGENDER WOMAN SPENT FIVE MONTHS IN THE Fulton County Jail on trumped-up charges of cocaine trafficking, according to a federal lawsuit against the arresting officers.

Ju’Zema “Juju” Goldring’s attorney Zack Greenamyre said officers bungled the test they did on the contents of a stress ball Golding (photo) was carrying when she was stopped by police and arrested her anyway.

Goldring was stopped for allegedly jaywalking in October 2015. Police cut open a stress ball she was carrying Ju’Zema “Juju” Goldring and found a white substance inside, then charged her with jaywalking. The officers performed a field test on the substance and interpreted the results as positive for drugs and charged her with felony cocaine trafficking.

In November 2015, the GBI Forensic Laboratory tested the substance and concluded it was not cocaine or any other controlled substance. But the charges weren’t dropped and Goldring wasn’t released until March 2016 — five months after her arrest and four months since the GBI said no drugs were found.

Goldring is suing for malicious prosecution and seeks compensatory and punitive damages as well as attorney’s fees.

Motions are currently being swapped in the court process with an assistant city attorney contesting the allegations.

Sandy Springs passes LGBTQ-inclusive hate crimes law THE SANDY SPRINGS CITY COUNCIL DID WHAT THE state couldn’t do and unanimously adopted its own LGBTQ-inclusive hate crimes ordinance on July 16.

“Hate or bias-motivated crimes are more than acts of violence and destruction, they are attacks on the very values which are pillars of the City of Sandy Springs,” the ordinance said. “[The] Mayor and the City Council reject hate in all its forms and the damage to our city that comes as a result of expressions of hate.”

The ordinance enhances penalties for crimes against victims targeted because of their actual or perceived sexual orientation, gender identity, gender, race, color, religion, national origin or physical or mental disability. It would also require the Sandy Springs Police Department to track and report hate crimes to the Georgia Bureau of Investigation and the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Find details on all of these stories and more on Atlanta’s best source for LGBTQ news at theQatl.com theQatl.com

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COVER Q

Eternal Optimist Artist Emmy Marshall wants to lift up the city’s queer arts community

Photos by Russ Youngblood theQatl.com

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Q

ARTIST continued

By Patrick Saunders

Is your LGBTQ identity reflected in your work?

mmy Marshall is having a moment. The abstract artist had his work selected in June to be a part of Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms’ LGBTQ art exhibit, which runs through August at City Hall. His work was also featured at an Articulate Atlanta art show on July 13 at Mason Fine Art Gallery.

The basis of my work stems from optimism. I am forever

E

The gay Atlanta native took a few minutes with Q to talk inspiration, the city’s “exploding” art scene, and his big plans to keep an eye out for.

Tell us about your journey in art.

I started creating art at a very young age. My parents would buy art sets for me every Christmas. I would take my art sets with me when I went to spend the night with friends and family. When I was in elementary school, my teacher had me drawing things for the holiday boards in the class, and I just couldn’t stop creating.

Abstract art for me was born when another artist gave me a canvas. I had been collecting paint from Home Depot and decided to paint over his canvas. I gave it to my cousin as a housewarming gift, and everyone loved it.

I enjoy the freedom of creating abstract. I have infinite possibilities. There are no rules; I simply make my own.

What inspires you?

The unique human experience of color is what inspires me as an artist. The need to express myself without words and knowing that inspiration is a never-ending journey inspires me to produce more material.

What’s the state of Atlanta’s art scene?

It’s exploding and not to be missed. There are so many opportunities for artists to get involved. I love how the City of Atlanta is involved with getting artists to paint bicycles on the street, signal boxes and murals.

I would like to see more group shows like Articulate. I love events that bring other artists together from different backgrounds for a great cause.

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optimistic.

Specifically, I have about four pieces that reflect my

LGBTQ identity. “Move Your Body” is on display at

Atlanta City Hall until Aug. 26. This particular piece was inspired by the thriving LGBTQ scene here in Atlanta.

Our scene is colorful, full of energy and growing daily.

Do you have a favorite piece?

My favorite piece in my entire collection is called “One Direction.” I consider myself an eternal optimist. I love

this piece because it describes how I look at life: Live in the present, remember the past and fear not the future.

Life flows in one direction.

What’s the biggest challenge as an artist?

My biggest challenge when it comes to creativity is ac-

tually seeing what I have created and accepting it. When I finish work, I place it in front of my bed to see if I will fall in love with it or not.

What advice would you give aspiring artists?

Be authentic. Compete only with yourself. Keep creating no matter what, and trust the process. Lastly, put your work out there!

What’s next for you?

After having my work highlighted in the office of

Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms, I was inspired. We are

planning and thinking through how we can engage the

queer arts community in both short-term and long-term ways here in Atlanta.

The opportunities for an artist are endless. I just finished my latest collection “OPTIMISTIC II.” Now I am in the process of writing my photo book of art with detailed information on my creative process.

Follow Emmy Marshall on Instagram and Twitter @paintedbyemmy

Photos by Russ Youngblood theQatl.com

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Q

HISTORY

Midtown Atlanta, 1966.

Filmstrip: stills from the film Lonescome Cowboy

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#Ansley50 ‘It’s a Raid!’ Atlanta’s Stonewall moment happened 50 years ago this week

By Patrick Saunders

A

nsley Mall might be known now for having uber-gay L.A. Fitness and “Bearbucks,” but 50 years ago, it was home to an independent movie theater that kickstarted Atlanta’s modern LGBTQ rights movement.

On Aug. 5, 1969, a month and change after the Stonewall Riots in New York City, the Ansley Mall Mini Cinema was showing Andy Warhol’s scandalous-for-the-time and unapologetically homoerotic Lonesome Cowboys. Some reports have labeled the film “pornographic,” but it was more of a satire of Hollywood westerns with a gay storyline.

Atlanta lesbian Abby Drue would know. She was in the theater that night.

“It was a cult classic film just like Rocky Horror in a sense,” she told Q. “I hardly would call it pornographic in any sense.”

Drue arrived at the theater with her friends, a straight married couple, and they took their seats. A few minutes into the movie, the lights came on the and movie stopped.

“There was this big sigh in the audience,” Drue said.

They assumed there were just technical issues with the movie.

“The last thing I thought of was a raid,” she said. “Then I turned around, and I saw four policemen in the back.”

‘IT WAS HEARTBREAKING’ Atlanta police routinely raided LGBTQ spaces in those days.

“It was just constant harassment in so many ways,” Drue said.

“There were a lot of raids in the bars and in Piedmont Park There was this whole purge of wanting to make Atlanta this clean and decent ‘family’ city.”

But more and more LGBTQ people were moving to the city every day. Many of them were fleeing small towns around the South.

“They were coming into Atlanta to try and live a life and be happy,” Drue said.

They were coming to do things like see a Warhol film on a summer Tuesday night.

There was confusion at the Mini-Mall Cinema in the early moments after the lights went up.

“I looked around and someone yelled, ‘What’s going on?’ A guy yelled, ‘It’s a raid!’” Drue said. “I started to laugh because comedy was as rich in our gay community back then as it is now. It’s better to laugh than to cry.” 

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Q

HISTORY continued

‘There were a lot of raids in the bars and in Piedmont Park There was this whole purge of wanting to make Atlanta this clean and decent “family” city.’

— Abby Drue Police told the crowd to say in their seats. Some people took a chance and made a run for it, but there were more police stationed in the lobby, according to Drue.

Within two months of the raid, Berl Boykin, Bill Smith and others founded the Georgia Gay Liberation Front.

“When I talked to [Boykin] about it, he said the raid was the catalyst for everything that happened here, our own mini-Stonewall that set our forces in motion,” Hayward said.

THE WORK CONTINUES Since then, LGBTQ Georgia has seen and survived the striking down of the state’s sodomy laws, the legalization of same-sex marriage, the ravages and fight against a plague, the election of some 15 openly LGBTQ officials in Georgia, and currently five (the most ever) out members of the state legislature.

But there are no LGBTQ-inclusive civil rights protections in “They said, ‘We’re going to call you by rows. Stand up and line Georgia, and we’re one of four states without a hate crimes law. up against the wall,’” she recalled. “We saw them talking to people and taking pictures. They did turn some of the men around who were mouthing off and were patting Andy Warhol, director them down.”

“I’m sure there were drugs there. For God sakes it was the ‘60s. I’m sure whoever cleaned the theater after that got a haul,” she added.

of Lonescome Cowboy

Her row was called, and they stood and lined up against the wall. A policeman asked her where her husband was.

“He made me show my license, my ID, where I lived, what I was doing,” she said. “And they took our pictures. And they let us know we might need to be available to come down to a hearing to be a witness.”

The police let Drue and her friends go, but others would leave in a paddy wagon. The charges ranged from drug possession to public indecency, according to an AJC story at the time.

“It was heartbreaking,” Drue said.

“Change is slow,” she said. “Sometimes slower than our hearts can accept. Three steps forward, one step back is how it goes, and it has gone that way. The importance of what came out of that raid was the beginnings of protesting and the beginning of dialog.”

SPARKING A MOVEMENT

Technology has played a major part in the more modern fight for LGBTQ rights, Drue added.

The raid provoked LGBTQ Atlanta into action, according to LGBTQ historian Dave Hayward of the group Touching Up Our Roots.

“There was a great outcry about the raid — certainly in the Great Speckled Bird newspaper — and the fears that Atlanta was becoming a haven for censorship and thought control and ‘1984,’ you name it,” he told Q. “I think the raid galvanized all progressives, and especially the LGBTQ community, and led to people standing up and actively fighting for our rights and freedoms.”

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Drue, who is the founder and executive director of the Ben Marion Institute for Social Justice, is used to riding that wave over the past 50 years.

theQatl.com

“Can you imagine if we had Facebook and Twitter then? If we had cell phones at that raid, what would have happened?” she said. “We would have instantly had Ansley Mall covered with gay folks.”

With work remaining to be done, one thing hasn’t changed since that August night at the Ansley Mini-Mall Cinema, Drue said.

“The need to be heard in our community has never changed since the ‘60s,” she said. “We’re not broken, we don’t have to be fixed. We have to be heard and we have to continue to look at how we best can do that.”

Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

Thursday, August 1 – Wednesday, August 7

SUNDAY, AUG. 4 Swank Tea Partay DJ Kimber beats down the

THURSDAY, AUG. 1

lesbian party people @ Henry’s,

Dine Out for Pride

Part of your bill benefits Atlanta Pride, so tell your server @ Mellow Mushroom Midtown, 5 p.m. atlantapride.org

4 p.m. henrysatl.com

MONDAY, AUG. 5 Hotlanta Squares Open House The LGBTQ square dancers want to get to know you @ City of Light, 7 p.m. facebook.com/HotlantaSquares

Summer Shorts

Short plays and monologues explore the colorfully rich spectrum of the queer experience @ Out Front Theatre, 8 p.m. Runs through Aug. 4. outfronttheatre.com

FRIDAY, AUG. 2 Pictures & Puppies

AIDS Walk benefits from you and your dog in a professional portrait plus a signature Tito’s cocktail, all for $20 @ Henry’s, 5 p.m.

aidatlanta.com

Babyshower for the Anti-Christ

Gays for Plays checks out this dark comedy @ West End Performing Arts Center, 7:30 p.m. fultonarts.org Hotlanta Classic XXVI

Hotlanta Volleyball Association serves, volleys and spikes with a cadre of outof-towners @ Tsuanami Volleyball, 8

p.m. Games and socials through Sunday, Aug. 4. hotlantavolleball.com

WEDNESDAY, AUG. 7 Katya

The RuPaul’s Drag Race queen stops on her Help Me I’m Dying Tour @ Center Stage, 8 p.m. centerstage-atlanta.com Neonblk: The Brother Show Black drag kings including Perka Sexxx join forces for your enlightenment and

SATURDAY, AUG. 3 Eddie Martinez One sexy circuit sensation to go, please @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

entertainment @ Mary’s, 10:30 p.m. marysatlanta.com Find more queer things to do in the expanded weekend edition of the Queer Agenda at theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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VALLEY OF THE DILLS WITH MIZ CRACKER AT MSR

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

JOINING HEARTS

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

JOINING HEARTS

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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JOINING HEARTS AFTERPARTY AT BUCKHEAD THEATRE

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Coming This Summer...

Q

When Queer Sp eak is Policed by ‘Woke’ Heterosex uals

inform | insp ire

September

5, 2019

Fall Color s Aren’t Just for the Trees

GOP Rene ws on LGBTQ Attack Rights

GOP Rene ws Bathroom Crusade

Eye of Be hol Kink vs. Ew der: ww!

Eye of Be holder: Kink vs. Ew ww!

Free to The Q Queer Age nda Q News Q Shots

FALL Color your fall LGBTQ fabulous!

The Weekly

• Sex (Aug. 8) • Atlanta Black Pride (Aug. 29) • Fall Preview (Sept. 5)

Print Publica tion of Projec t Q Atlanta

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KYRA MORA’S SHAMELESS WITH ARAD WINWIN AT TEN

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

JOINING HEARTS KICKOFF AT HERETIC

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Q

THEQ?!

Newsflash:

IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU

When frenemies and petty queers attack your self worth, Life Judge can help you rebuild.

Q

I put up with my mother-in-law’s odd expectations and A Mean Girl I thought was my friend has decided I’m the enemy. The difference is that we’re not high school students in a movie, but fully-grown humans in Atlanta.

Still, it hurts that she snickers when I walk into a place, posts lies on social media, and tries to sabotage my love life. How can I get her to see that I’m not a bad person?

Dear Nice Girl: As one grand homosexual of age and grace put it recently: How can it be all about you when it’s all about me?

Point being, nothing that anyone else does is about you, ever.

Even if somebody has their finger in your face blaming you, their behavior is always about them. People make choices based on what’s going on inside our own heads.

Your frenemy’s internal dialogue is way more uncomfortable for her than it is for you. What this jerk says about you speaks volumes more about her own state of mind, and it ain’t pretty.

Now for what you can control. Evict her from the residency you’ve leased her in your head. That makes room for new social circles with better friends. Block her on social media, and decline to take part in conversations about her.

Forget figuring out how to change her mind. Behave as if she doesn’t exist, and over time, she won’t.

Q

When I was in my 20s and 30s, I had more confidence than I deserved. As I push toward my mid-40s, I feel old, fat, ugly and worst of all, just uncool. Everywhere I turn are signs of queer ageism, and the little Body Nazis judging each other and everybody else are killing my self worth. How can I put my mind at rest?

Dear Fugly & Uncool: Worrying about getting older damages the years we have left.

Aging is better than the alternative, and a slew of our queer

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brethren died before finding out. They might tell us that getting older is a privilege.

Of course, it’s more than knowing your prior-

ities. Acknowledge queer ageism, but don’t ab-

sorb it. Rethink the groupthink of inexperienced people, and re-evaluate for yourself.

How much better are you than when you were their age? How

much are your knowledge and life skills worth? Your experiences, not your body, define you, and your life is rich with them.

Q

I thought I was satisfied, but now I’m pretty sure that everybody is doing better than me. Everyone’s getting all

kinds of laid and all manner of good careers, and here I sit with my dildo and a cubicle job. Help!

Dear Blinders: Comparing yourself to others only gets you frustrated, and that won’t help your goals. Stop assuming. Everyone has their own

timeframe and circumstances. Go back to your initial statement: You thought you were satisfied. Was worrying somehow more appealing than that?

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling.

Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON